She turned back to just in time to see her prospective, and temporarily female, brother-in law disappear in a flare of coruscating light.

*****

It was all I could do to just sit there and look at the woman across from me blankly.

"You…You mean to tell me that the goddess of sex is really a boy?"

"Sure."  She snapped her fingers again, and suddenly turned into the most incredible hunk I'd ever seen.  Suddenly, the naughty part of my mind started gaining the upper hand again, and I once again started to feel a warm flush that had absolutely nothing to do with the bathwater.  Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending upon how you look at it, another thought quickly overrode my jump-started libido.

"OhMyGod!"  I squealed.  "Change back!  Change back!  What if my Mom catches us like this?"

"Relax, kid.  She won't."  The pigtailed boy snapped his fingers again, and became a woman once more.  "I am a goddess, after all."

"Goddess?  Not God?"

She favored me with a pained smile.  "Goddess.   Nabiki put me into the system that way, so I'm stuck.  Believe me, though, I have to be a goddess in order to do what I do."  She snorted ironically.  "I do find that my male aspect does help me do my job.  It's so much easier to solve sexual problems for people when you understand both sides of the issue."

"Oh."  Man, this was just too weird.  Suddenly, I remembered something else that this transsexual 'goddess' had mentioned.  "Uh… You said you had something really important to tell me…"

"Uh…yes."  She looked thoughtful for a moment.  "Maybe it would be best if I began at the beginning…"

*******

Ah well, a goddess's work is never done.  I had been about to sit down for a nice dinner with Akane and Mother when I felt the unmistakable tug of someone performing my summoning ritual.  One thing I cannot afford to ignore is my summoning.  We goddesses have few worshippers these days, so we have to take extra care of the ones we've got.  We do live in cynical times. 

I materialized in a bedroom (no big surprise there) and took a look around.  I was hovering over a mirrored vanity arrayed with the articles required to perform my summoning ceremony:  The basin of water I'd manifested through, seventeen lit candles, and the offerings of champagne and chocolate.  The first thing I did was to extinguish those damned candles, as they always give me the creeps.  I've sometimes wondered how many people have screwed up my summoning and died in subsequent house fires.  Oh, I could use my goddess powers to find out, but I never do.  There are some things I just don't want to know.  Anyway, the candles were no longer necessary now that I had my aura going. 

Looking around, I quickly spotted my devout worshipers on the bed (another big non-surprise) where they had obviously just completed my sacrament.   I looked them over carefully.  They didn't look like anyone special, just average people.   The man was already asleep; the woman was cuddled up to him with her head on his chest.  It was kind of sweet actually.  Just because I'm not the goddess of love doesn't mean I don't like seeing it.  Far too many people perform my sacraments without love as it is.

The woman stirred and looked over to where I hovered over the vanity.  "Goddess…?"  She breathed, showing the usual mix of hope, fear, trepidation and disbelief that all first time summoners seem to have.  It's one thing to believe in a goddess; It's quite another to confront her in your own bedroom.

I drifted over to her, and knelt by the side of the bed, stroking her hair back from her forehead.  "What do you want, child?"  I asked her in my most reassuring voice.

"Goddess, I love my husband very much… "

I sighed inwardly. No matter how many times I tell people I'm not a love goddess… 

"…But I can't seem to get pregnant.  We've tried and tried, and we don't have the money for fertility treatments." 

Ah.  This sounded like something more up my alley.  "So you do know I'm a sex goddess, and not a love goddess?"

She smiled imploringly.  "Goddess, I don't need any help in the love department.  I love my husband very much.  I don't lack for sex, either.  But it doesn't seem to be accomplishing anything.  What I want is a child."

I looked her over carefully.  "I can do as you ask, you know, but there is a price.  Are you willing to pay it?"

"Goddess, I want a daughter.  Please.  I'll do anything."

"Anything?"  I asked her.  "Even if it means your daughter will be pledged to me forever?"

She looked stunned.  "You mean she'll be fated to be a… whore?"

I smiled at her sadly.  "No child.  It does mean that she will never be ordinary.  No one touched by the gods can ever have a normal life.  She will know both great joy and great sadness.  She will be destined for greatness – but her greatness will come at a great cost."

******

"You mean I'm a magical girl?  Like in the comic books?"

"Ah, yeah, I guess.  Of a sort."

"That's so cool!  So what are my powers?  Can I fly? Zap people with my finger? Fight for love and justice? Teleport maybe?"

"Well… no."  The goddess told me.  "Your powers are directly related to mine, sweetheart. You only have abilities in my direct area of dominion."

OK, that makes sense.  "So, just what are you the goddess of?"

"Er, ah, well," she seemed discomforted.  "I'm the class one, category one, unlimited goddess of… ah…sex."

"I'm the daughter of a love goddess?"  I squealed.  "That's so cooool!"

She shook her head, looking chagrined. "No…sorry."

"But you just said…"

She started looking annoyed again.  "Aren't you listening?  I told you I'm the goddess of sex."

This time, I was too confused to get scared.  "It's not the same thing?"

She looked at me crossly.  "No, it is not the same thing!   Sex is not love, and don't you ever forget it!"   She looked down into the tub.  "Sweetheart, sex can be the ultimate physical expression of love, I won't deny that.  But it can also be nothing more than pleasurable exercise, or…" she looked away. "It can even be the basis of soul-destroying commercial transactions."

Now I really, really, really, really didn't like the direction this bath was taking.  "So…you're not a love goddess?"

She glared at me.  "I am not the goddess of any emotion!"  She wound down a little bit.  "I'm the goddess of the physical act itself. That's all."

"So, what are my powers, then?"

The goddess suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable. "Well, uh, you're um, well," she got a grip on herself.  "You're supremely good in bed."

Now I really, really, really, really, really, did not like the way this bath was going.  "That's it?"

"Hey!  Have a little respect for your godmother, child."

"So why are you here, anyway?"

"Well, as I think I mentioned, the number 17 is sacred to me.  So now that you've turned seventeen, I was bound to appear to you when you performed my sacrament."

Sacrament?  What sacrament?  Suddenly, I remembered what I'd just finished doing before she arrived.  "You mean…that…" I made suggestive motions with my hands.  "Is your sacrament?"

"One of them, yes."

That was mind-boggling.  "What sort of sacrament is that?"

"The best sort.  Hundreds of millions of people are doing it, or one of my other sacraments, every single minute.  And they don't even have to believe in me."  She smiled.  "And it's fun, too."

Suddenly, something else occurred to me.  "Wait a minute; my 17th birthday isn't for another nine months."

"Nine months, five days, 23 minutes, and 46 seconds, to be precise." the goddess smiled at me.  "But who's counting?"

Oh.

"So, uh…" I knew I'd regret this, but I had to ask anyway.  "Just what did you do anyway?"

*****

I looked at the woman, and summoned my powers…

My powers are perhaps the best part about this job, because they're generated by all of the people performing my sacraments. Tapping into them always makes me feel like I've just completed a long session of passionate sex myself.   It gives me a warm feeling just thinking about it.  Well, that and the coffee I have to use as a catalyst.

I felt my powers upon me, and sent my awareness winging through her reproductive system.  Now you may think that's gross, but I don't.  It's my temple, after all, and I think it's a lovely place, warm and soft and inviting -- the wellspring of all life.  I spent a few seconds tuning it -- just a tweak there, a pinch here, a touch of added sensitivity and musculature like so – to make it the perfect place for my god-daughter to be, and to fit her mother for her new role as one touched by the gods.  And once I had finished with her, I turned to her husband and did the same, gathering data, searching for blockages, and taking stock of the materials I had to work with.

Once I knew what each of them had to contribute I accessed Ygdrassil fully, testing every available combination, to ensure that my goddaughter would be the best child possible: the ultimate expression of her parents' genetic potential.  I started with trillions of combinations, and quickly narrowed it down through billions, millions, thousands, and hundreds, until I was sure I'd found the one.  Now all I had to do was make it happen.  So I turned to re-writing the algorithm for the current week, to ensure that the proper follicle burst, and to make certain the right sperm cell was there to lead the charge.

And when I left the woman was again sleeping, cuddled up against her beloved, heedless of his contribution even as it was busily swimming towards destiny.  In the morning she'd probably think it was all a dream, at least until she noticed the new sexual urges that are the inevitable price of my intervention.  For all those I touch become compelled to engage in my sacraments as often as possible.  Without understanding, these urges could cause severe disruption in their life together.  With understanding, I hoped they could live with them.  Hopefully, she'd find it a small price to pay for her daughter.

*****

"Great, just great.  Of all the godmothers in the universe, I had to get the fallopian plumber."

My godmother looked at me sadly.  "Sweetheart, I wish you wouldn't be so dismissive of this.  I personally sorted through more than 500 eggs and nearly two hundred billion sperm to create you."

"Eewwww…that's gross."

"Biology isn't gross child.  It just is."

"Good in bed, huh?"  I muttered darkly.

The goddess seemed a little peeved.  "I wish you would stop saying it like that, child.  It isn't that simple.  It takes special nerve endings, and extra brain tissue, and even pheromones.  Hell, you've got crotch muscles science doesn't even have names for!"

"Damn it, it's not fair!  Why do I have to be a nympho?"

"Are your violet eyes fair?  Or your pretty face?  Or your killer body, your artistic ability, or your singing voice?  Face it sweetheart; you are what I made you.  You can't have any part of that package without getting all of it."

"Whatever." I muttered. 

"Look, sweetheart" the goddess said placatingly.  "Your powers involve much more than your plumbing, as you so dismissively put it."

"Oh great, imagine my joy."

"No, really.  Your powers extend to all aspects of my dominion.  That's why you're so beautiful, and so charismatic, and so bright, and have such a melodic voice.  Put simply, you were designed for maximum sex appeal."

Maximum sex appeal, right.  Suddenly, it occurred to me just what sort of life I'd actually been designed for.  "Goddess…no.  Please, no." I felt my self-control slipping, and tears began to run down my face.  I looked up into the goddess's sympathetic gaze, and I suddenly found myself hating her and my mother for what they had done – and hating myself for what I suddenly knew myself to be.

******

"No…" Suddenly, the young girl's face twisted with rage, then cycled through a half dozen other negative emotions, finally settling on shock before she broke down sobbing.  "I'm…I'm… a whore."

My heart wrenched.  Her mother had said nearly the same thing to me, 17 years earlier.  "No, sweetheart.  That's not true."

Unfortunately, she wasn't listening.  "You…you… designed me to be a… whore."

I moved to the other side of the bath and took her in my arms.  She flailed for a moment before she gave up and sobbed on my shoulder.  I caressed her hair gently as she cried.  "Sweetheart, you don't have to be a prostitute.  There are many other things that you can set your talents to:  Singing, acting, modeling, politics, sales… whatever.   Your sex appeal only means is that people will pay attention to you whatever you do."

She looked up, sniffling.  "R-r-r-really?"

"Yes, really.  You'll be able to use your sex appeal without actually selling your body. Play your cards right and you might even be Prime Minister some day."  She looked doubtful.  "Hey, something's got to explain President Clinton."  That earned a thoughtful look.  "You will have to be careful about obsessive people, though."  I gave her shoulders a squeeze.  "Remember, sweetheart, you are endowed with free will.  Kami-sama insists on it." 

******

That made me feel a little better.  I nestled a little deeper into her arms.  "You know, you're not what I expected to find in a goddess of sex." 

She gave me another squeeze.  "Sweetheart, just what do you think sex is?"

I shook my head.  Ten minutes ago I thought I knew. Now I wasn't so sure.

"Sweetheart, sex is Mother Nature's way of ensuring the survival of your species.  Nothing more, nothing less.  It's pleasurable because that's the best way to ensure reproduction.  It's operant conditioning on a most basic level."

"You mean it's not the ultimate physical expression of love, like you said before?"

"Ah, you have been paying attention.   No, it's not always an expression of love, though it certainly can be.  Love is something we invest in sex, sweetheart; it's not inherent in the act itself.  Love often leads to sex, true, but sex alone can't create love.  Lust certainly, but that's not the same thing, is it?  After all, even the most primitive animals have the capacity for sex.  You don't think insects really love each other, do you?"

I shook my head.  "You know, I never thought I'd hear a goddess referring to "mother nature."

She sighed. "Well, I only said 'Mother Nature' because that's the terminology that people are used to."  I nodded.  That made sense.  Too bad she didn't stop there.   "Nature's really my step-mom, since I'm an adopted goddess, but that's too much to explain to most people, and besides, 'Step-mother Nature' just doesn't have the right ring."

Briefly, I wondered if she was kidding me, before I decided that it wouldn't do me any good to ask.  "But what does it all mean?"  I couldn't help asking.

"Baby, it doesn't mean anything. Sex doesn't provide any meaning to anything except sex.  It's crude biology in its most basic form.  Humans, being intelligent creatures, cling to the delusion that we somehow transcend our animal impulses, that everything we do has meaning.  Well, I gotta tell you that sex, the act itself, has no intrinsic meaning in and of itself.  It is nothing more or less than instinctive behavior reinforced by operant conditioning.  It doesn't feel good because it is good; it feels good because that's the most effective way of programming you to seek more sex.  The more sex you seek, the more likely you are to propagate the species.  But just because sex itself has no intrinsic meaning doesn't mean we can't invest meaning into it from other sources." 

"Is that where love comes in?"

"Exactly.  Sex can be the ultimate expression of love.  But you're not making love if you're just doing it to pay the rent.  Trust me on this kiddo:  Don't ever confuse sex with love.  You can always find sex, though the transaction may be invested with no more emotion than a handshake.  Love is a much scarcer, more valuable commodity.  If you concentrate on finding love, sex will take care of itself.  After all, there's more than a billion years of evolution behind it."

"You make it sound so simple."

The Goddess vented an unladylike snort.  "Kiddo, if it were that simple, would you need a goddess for it?"

"No, I guess not."   I thought about it for a moment.  "Am I going to find love, godmother?"

She gave me a mischievous smile "Sorry, baby, not my department.  That's a question for my stepsister Urd."  She made a big show examining her hands.  "Now I've got to go, or I'm gonna have a heck of a time explaining to my lover how my fingers got all wrinkly." 

"Do goddesses really get wrinkly fingers?"

She smiled.  "That would be telling.  Now that you know how, you can call on me at need.  But talk to your Mom first, OK?  She does love you, you know."  The unearthly light that had heralded her arrival was shining up out of the bathwater again

I nodded.  There didn't seem to be anything else to say.

The goddess leaned down and kissed me.  "Never forget that I love you too, sweetheart."   Suddenly, the light flared, and she was gone.