Pip's Show and Tell: The Version You Never Read
It was a sunny afternoon in a small town in Colorado called South Park. Several people walked the snow-covered sidewalks on some errand or another, oblivious to the world, just enjoying a wonderful winter's day.
At the Elementary school, class was about to let out. In the third grade classroom, Mr. Garrison was just finishing up his lecture on American history.
"And that, children, is why Christopher Columbus was the greatest rock star of the 1700's." He paused. "Now, before you leave, I want each of you to bring something in for show and tell for tomorrow. Any questions?"
This was met with several groans. Pip raised his hand. "Oh, Mr. Garrison, sir, what if we don't have anything to bring in?"
With an annoyed look on his face, Mr. Garrison answered, "Then you get an F Pip. Now, anyone have a smart question?"
Even if anyone did, which was doubtful, the lunch bell interrupted them. Without waiting for a word from their teacher, the children ran from the classroom, making as much noise as possible on their way.
* * *
On the playground, after lunch was through, four friends chatted together.
"What are you bringing to show and tell Kyle?" Stan asked.
"I don't know dude." Kyle wasn't good at making decisions like this. That's why he hated them. Why does Mr. Garrison always make us do stupid stuff like this, he thought.
Kenny, his voice almost completely muffled by his hood, added, "Cartman's going to bring one of his mom's dildos."
"Ay! Shut up about my mah, or ay'll kick ya in the nuts!" Cartman replied with his usual gruffness. Cartman sure could get on Kyle's nerves. He still wasn't sure why they hung around him anyway. Wasn't there a saying about keeping your enemies close? That made him smile.
"Okay, calm down," Stan said annoyed. "So what are you going to bring?"
"Cheesey poofs." Cartman looked as if this was the greatest idea of all time.
Kyle couldn't resist a laugh. "You would fat ass."
"Ay! I'm not fat, I'm big boned."
"Whatever." When was he going to come up with something new? He turned to his real friend. "What are you going to bring Stan?"
"It's a secret. I what it to be a surprise."
"Ooooh! It probably sucks," Cartman chimed in.
"No it doesn't."
Just then Pip walked up. If Kyle needed a definition for a melvin, Pip was it.
"Hello chaps," Pip said with his usual happiness.
"Go away Pip," Cartman said immediately.
"Why are you always mean to me?"
"Because you are a melvin," Stan answered.
"Oh why must I be a melvin?"
Pip could get annoying quick. Why didn't he take the hint and leave them alone. "Because you are, Pip. No changing that," Kyle said.
"One day you will learn that you shouldn't pick on people." For a moment Kyle could have sworn he saw a glint of anger in Pip's eyes. Nah… Pip couldn't get angry if he tried, except when he was playing dodgeball.
"Yeah! Whatever Pip," Cartman scoffed.
"Yeah, Pip. Leave us alone," Stan added.
"Oh, Cheerio."
Pip had begun to leave when Cartman muttered, "Stupid Frenchie."
Pip turned his head slightly as if he heard Cartman, but then continued to walk off.
When he left Stan said, "You know guys, maybe we are too hard on Pip."
"He's just a melvin Stan," Kyle replied.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
* * *
The room in the board house was warm. At least they offered heat here; they sure didn't offer much else. Pip set his hat on the edge of the small bed after he entered. Another day over with. At least that much had been accomplished. Pip sighed. Would the ridicule and the cruelties never end? Pip had followed that half-wit school counselor's advice to the letter. He had been the nicest he could be. He had never raised his voice or fought back no matter what the other kids had done to him… What had it gotten him? Nothing.
Well there was that one time with the dodgeball tournament. That day he had fought back and for a moment, the others had respected him. Pip had been on the top of the world. The only problem with being on top was you had that much farther to fall back down. It turned out the other kids had just been using him so they could win the championship. Even when he had done that, they only ridiculed him more.
Tomorrow would be different, though. Pip would make sure of that. He would fight back… only this time he would be doing it for himself, no one else. The thought brought a smile to his face. Yes…
He found himself speaking out loud. "No longer will I be nice Pip… Cheerio Pip. No! Tomorrow I will give them a show and tell they'll never forget!"
He walked over to his closet. That was his secret space. He didn't allow anyone else to see what he kept there. He glanced at the door to his room to make sure it was locked before he opened the closet. The flickering light from within bathed him in a orange glow.
Inside the closet was his sanctuary. Candles of various sizes and colors were everywhere. On the back wall were pictures of each of his classmates, their photos taken from his Class Sampler. He smiled. He basked in the glow from his alter. Tomorrow would definitely be the day. He slowly reached down and picked up a small glass jar filled with a red substance. He methodically unscrewed the top and dipped one finger inside. He withdrew it and began to write on the wall, just above his collection of photos. He had to dip his finger several more times before he was done. There was nothing left to stop him now.
It was time to get some sleep. Sure it was early, but he wanted to be sure he was completely rested for tomorrow. Tomorrow was his big day. He didn't want to mess it up. He quickly changed his clothes and slipped into bed. He soon fell into a peaceful slumber, sleeping sounder than he had in many years.
Even so he did mumble once as he fell deeper into sleep.
"Tomorrow…"
On the back wall of his now closed closet was written the word, "Kill."
* * *
The bus stop had become an almost ritual place to meet for Stan and the others. It wasn't as if they had a choice in the matter, but they did seem to spend almost every morning of the year here. Miss Crabtree didn't help matters being late every morning. Stan couldn't figure out why they didn't just get there later so they didn't have to wait as long. Knowing Miss Crabtree, the day they did that, she would be early.
Stan made it to the stop first. Kyle arrived a few minutes later followed by Kenny, who was carrying a box. As usual Cartman arrived last. That was fine with Stan. The less time he spent around the fat boy, the better.
Kyle spoke up first. "Stan, are still not going to tell us what you brought?"
"No. It's a surprise." He knew his would be the best. There was no chance someone else would have what he brought. No way.
"Tell us damnit!" Cartman nearly shouted.
"Just wait." Boy was he an impatient bastard.
Stan was saved from more badgering by Cartman when the bus pulled up.
"Get on the bus! We're running late!" Miss Crabtree screamed at the boys.
Kenny mumbled something that was completely hidden by his parka.
"What did you say?!?" Miss Crabtree demanded.
Kenny repeated his mumbling, with no better success at being decipherable.
Even so, Miss Crabtree seemed to accept his answer. "Oh. Now get on."
* * *
Pip entered the boy's bathroom. The restroom was empty except for Craig washing his hands in one of the sinks.
"Hello Craig," Pip said calmly.
Craig gave his usual reply. His middle finger. Any other day Pip would have just shrugged it off. But today wasn't just any other day. Today was today. Today was different.
"You shouldn't have done that, Craig," Pip said forcefully.
"Huh?" Craig looked up confused at the Pip's sudden forcefulness.
* * *
Another day of class begins, Stan sighed to himself. If that wasn't bad enough, Cartman wouldn't quit asking him about his show and tell.
"Tell me goddamnit!" Cartman demanded.
"No! Shut up already Cartman!"
His outburst drew the attention of Mr. Garrison. "Do we have a problem Stanley?"
"No Mr. Garrison," Stan answered. Thanks a lot fatass.
"That's good. Class have you seen Craig or Pip today?"
The class replied with various no's.
"Well I guess they're just absent. They most likely wanted to skip out on show and tell. We'll just see about that when they come tomorrow." He chuckled at this. "Okay class, I hope you all brought something special today. Now who is going to go first?"
Stan hoped he wouldn't call him. He didn't want to give away his show and tell just yet.
"Eric, will you show the class what you brought for show and tell?"
Good, Stan thought. Serves him right.
Cartman stood up and carried a brown paper bag to the front. "Why yes Mr. Garrison," he said trying to sound professional. "Mr. Garrison, fellow students, behold…" With that he reached into his bad and pulled out a box of cheesey poofs. "Cheesey Poofs."
Stan could barely contain his laughter. Cartman had actually gone and brought Cheesey Poofs as show and tell. Guess he figured he could eat them for lunch after class.
Cartman only continued. "They are crunchy and delightful." With that said he began that stupid Cheesey Poof theme song he had learned when he was supposed to have been in that commercial. He only made it through the first five words, however, before Mr. Garrison interrupted him.
"You mean that you brought a box of cheesey poofs for show and tell, Eric?"
"Yes," he replied, obviously seeing no problem with his choice.
Mr. Garrison raised his arm and Mr. Hat began to speak. "Well, that's stupid and you get a D minus. Now sit down Eric!"
"Goddamnit!"
Stan could barely contain his laughter. This was great. Cartman got his sure enough.
Back to his normal voice, Mr. Garrison continued, "Kenny, you go next."
Kenny muttered something and stood up, carrying his box. When he reach the front of the class he removed the lid and pulled out a grey rat. The rodent squealed and tried to get away. As soon as the rat appeared from the box, every girl in the classroom screamed. The sound was deafening. Even Mr. Garrison let out a yelp and jumped clear to the top of his desk.
Oblivious the uproar, Kenny began his explanation. "This is a rat. I found him in my bedroom this morning."
Revealing a slight quiver in his voice, Mr. Garrison yelled, "Just what the hell were you thinking bringing a rat to school Kenny? Throw it out the window this instant."
Kenny, broken from his speak looked curiously at Mr. Garrison perched atop his desk and shrugged. He went over to the window, opened it, and deposited the rat outside. With the rodent gone the class quickly returned to normal.
Mr. Garrison got down from his desk. "You get a D Kenny. Now sit down."
"Ay! Why did he get a higher grade than me?" Cartman demanded.
"Because you're a fatass."
Stan could see Cartman shaking in anger. This was turning out to be a pretty good after all. Just then Pip entered the classroom.
"Where have you been Pip?" Mr. Garrison asked.
* * *
Where have you been Pip? It was the first thing Pip heard as he entered the room. He hadn't planned on being so late. Craig had changed his plans some. It surprised Pip how little fight he had put up. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen it coming. Whatever the reason, it had only taken a minute or two. Cleaning up afterward had taken much longer. Pip could swear he could still see some signs of red on his hands. It wouldn't matter soon enough anyway.
"Well? Are you going to answer me or just stand there looking stupid?"
Mr. Hat's outburst broke Pip from his ponderings. He tried to put his usual "happy" voice on; it wasn't time just yet. "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Garrison. I missed the bus and had to walk here. Won't happen again."
Mr. Garrison seemed to buy his story. "Take you seat Pip." Pip had just made it to his seat and sat down when Mr. Garrison spoke up again. "Okay class, since Pip was late and interrupted class, let's have him go next." There were several snickers around the room. Kids loved to see other kids in trouble.
Pip stood up. "Mr. Garrison, I didn't bring anything for show and tell."
"Why not Pip?" he asked innocently.
He lied. "I didn't have anything to bring."
"Well, that's too bad Pip. You get an F."
Pip didn't care. Grades didn't matter anymore. What happened next did matter though.
Mr. Garrison continued, "I'm disappointed in you Pip."
Mr. Hat then took charge. "Yeah! Even Eric managed to bring something in and he's the stupidest kid in the class."
"Ay!"
Mr. Hat only continued. "And even poor Kenny brought something in."
Pip could feel himself losing control… and he didn't care.
"You know what Mr. Garrison?" the infernal puppet asked.
"What, Mr. Hat?"
"Pip sucks ass."
The straw had just broken the camel's back. The world turned red. Pip could feel himself reaching into his jacket. That was it. "That's it!" he shouted. "I've been taking shit from all of you for years, but I'll be damned if I am going to be belittled by a goddamned puppet!"
It was as if Pip was no longer there. He saw himself. He saw himself pull out the handgun he had had hidden in his jacket. He saw himself take aim. He saw the gun fire. He heard the explosion from the gun. He saw the red and white puppet sail from Mr. Garrison's hand and slam into the blackboard beyond, only to fall to the ground. Pip felt a calmness. It was a feeling he had never felt before. But he liked it. It felt like a security blanket around him, comforting him… Guiding him on.
Pip could see Mr. Garrison grab his bloody hand. He could hear him yell, "Mr. Hat! No!" For some reason this brought joy to Pip. Mr. Garrison turned to the boy. "You stupid little shit. I'll get you for this!"
The teacher took one step toward him before Pip once again raised the gun, this time aiming for Mr. Garrison's head. He fired. The bullet hit and Mr. Garrison fell backward, landing awkwardly onto his desk.
Pip heard screams. He turned to his classmates as they tried to flee the room. He could see their faces. He blond-headed Bebe, who had spit into his hair. He fired. She fell. He saw Clyde, who had beat up repeatedly. He fired. He saw Butters, who had been his friend, but only turned out to be another bully. He fired. Each time he fired his gun, the joy inside increased.
* * *
Stan couldn't believe what was going on. Pip had a gun and was killing people. He'd seen stuff like this on the news… but it wasn't supposed to happen to him. It wasn't… but it was.
Now he was hiding behind his school desk, trying not to be killed by his own classmate. He could have run out as soon as Pip had started firing, but Wendy had stayed behind to help Bebe. He crawled over to her. She was crying. Her best friend lay beside her. Bebe was motionless and staring up at the ceiling.
"Wendy, we've got to get out of here," he whispered. She didn't seem to notice. He glanced around. Only Wendy and himself, as well as Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny remained in the room, each hiding behind a desk. "Wendy."
Kenny suddenly tried to make a run for the door. "Pip's fucking lot it!" he shouted.
Pip turned his leveled his gun. Stan could only watch as he fired again. Kenny was hit mid-step and the force knocked him into the wall, where he slid to the floor.
Jesus, Stan thought, none of us are going to make it out of here. Just then he felt Wendy stand up. "Wendy, get down," he pleaded.
Wendy ignored him and took a step toward Pip. "Pip… Phillip… this isn't the answer."
What was she trying to do? Reason with him? After he'd killed her best friend, not to mention Mr. Garrison and the others.
Pip spun around at the sound of her voice. He pointed the gun at her. Stan jumped up, but Pip didn't fire. "Wendy," Pip began weakly, "you can't understand."
Stan, as slowly as possible walked up to his girlfriend. "Wendy," he whispered, "we have to get out of here before he kills us too."
She turned to him. "We have to try to help him." Wendy had always been a kind person, but this was taking it too far. She was about to get herself killed. Wendy turned to Pip once again. "Maybe I don't understand what you've been through, but this isn't the answer. There must be some other way."
Stan looked at Pip and thought saw a glimmer of regret in his eyes. Maybe Wendy was getting through to him. Pop continued. "There is no other way." He waved the gun around. "These people must pay for what they have put me through."
"Please… let me help you. Just tell me what I can do," she pleaded.
"I just wanted to be friends."
"We were wrong. How can we help you?"
Stan suddenly saw the regret vanished from Pip. He tried to shout a warning but it was too late. It happened too fast.
Pip leveled the gun at Wendy. "You can die!" he shouted as he fired the gun once again.
Time seemed to slow for Stan. The gun fired. He shouted. He jumped to push Wendy out of the way. They fell to the floor. It took him a second to realize he hadn't been hit. Wendy wasn't so lucky. She screamed. He was on his knees. He was holding Wendy's head is his lap. She cried out in pain. Her purple jacket was stained red. The red slowly was slowly spreading out over the purple.
"Wendy… hang on." He put his hand in hers. Maybe if she could feel that he was there for her, she would be alright. She gripped it.
"It's so cold. Stan?" He could hear the pain in her voice. Why couldn't it be him down there and not her. She didn't deserve this. She was the love of his life. This… this wasn't supposed to happen.
" I'm here Wendy." It was all he could manage before his throat tightened in grief.
"I love you Stan." He had never known exactly what those words had meant until right then.
"I love you too Wendy." He bent down and they kissed. When they parted his lips were red with her blood. He couldn't think. He didn't know what to do. His love was laying before him and he could do nothing. Wendy tried to speak but nothing came forth. Slowly her eyes closed. Her hand fell from his and landed on the cold floor.
A blackness filled Stan. He turned and faced Pip, the person who had taken away Wendy. Only one thought passed through his mind. Wendy was gone. Pip had taken her away. He had to take Pip away. He stood up and made a step towards him. Pip raised his gun and fired. Click. The gun was empty.
Stan saw Kyle and Cartman stand once they realized Pip was out of bullets.
Kyle spoke quickly. "Stan, we've got to get out of here. Hurry!"
"No." Stan wasn't leaving. He couldn't leave. He took a moment to turn toward them. "Run," he stated simply.
"Not without you," Kyle replied. He had always been a good friend. But this wasn't his fight.
"Leave me! Run now!"
Kyle must have seen something in his eyes. He only nodded. "Be careful." With that said he ran from the classroom, followed closely by Cartman.
Alone with Pip, he turned to face him. "Now it's just you and me Pip. You're going to pay for what you did to Wendy."
Pip only smiled. He looked at his gun. He dropped it to the floor. It rattled and then came to a rest. Slowly and methodically he reached into his jacket and pulled forth another.
"You were saying?"
* * *
Kyle wasn't sure what Stan was going to do, but knew it would have been no use trying to get him to leave. Kyle could only hope his friend knew what he was doing. He turned around to see Cartman right behind him. Cartman could run pretty fast when his life depended on it seemed.
His footsteps echoed in the empty hall. Kyle guessed that the rest of the school had escaped when Pip had first started shooting. He was only ten feet from the outer doors when he heard the shot. His heart sank. He risked another look behind just in time to see Pip leave the classroom and see them.
"Shit! Run faster Cartman. We've got to find someplace to hide. We'll never make out of the playground before he catches us."
Cartman's heavy breathing was his only reply. They hit the doors together. The cold air hit Kyle like a brick wall, but he didn't care. The playground was silent. Snow covered the ground and the trees. Kyle's only worry was trying to find a place to hide. He looked to his right and then to his left. He looked down and saw, just beside the steps, a small area behind a bush. It was just big enough for him to hide. Pip would never think to look for him hiding just outside the door. He jumped down as Cartman continued to run across the playground. He grabbed his knees and pressed them against his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible.
Kyle tried to control his breathing so he wouldn't give himself away. He couldn't think. How long would he have to hide here? Through the leaves of the bush he watched as Cartman run across the playground. He felt bad for leaving him alone, but what could he do? He watched as Cartman hid behind a tree. Damn him. Even Kyle could still see him.
Kyle's heart jumped to his throat when he heard the door to the school open. Pip slowly came out. God, help us, he pleaded silently.
Pip's voice cut through the chilly air. "I can see you Cartman. Come on out fat ass!"
Out of reflex, Cartman evidently forgot his situation. He left his hiding place yelling back. "Ay! I'm not fat, I'm big b-" His voice broke off the bullet hit his chest. He sank to the ground. Kyle could see that though he was bleeding badly, he was still alive.
Pip walked across the empty playground. He soon reached Cartman, who was trying to awkwardly crawl away. Pip spoke softly, but his voice carried. Kyle could clearly hear as coldly said, "You're right. You're not fat… you're dead." With that he shot him again and Cartman went limp.
Kyle couldn't take it anymore. The horrors that he had seen were too much. He screamed. Pip turned at the sound. Kyle knew he couldn't stay where he was. He jumped up and ran back up the stairs. A section of the door next to his head exploded with another shot sending splinters flying. He pulled the door open and ran inside. He didn't know what to do, so he just ran. He heard the door behind him open. He heard a gunshot followed quickly by another.
Suddenly pain exploded in his right leg. It gave way underneath and he fell crudely to the floor, sliding several feet. He reached down and saw his hands were red with his own blood. He yelled out from the pain. It was pain he had never felt before.
He could hear Pip approaching. He tried to crawl away. In his mind he saw Cartman doing the same, Pip approaching, and shooting him. With each movement fresh pain shot through him.
Pip spoke up, his voice full of hatred and loathing, barely recognizable from what it used to sound like. "You know Kyle. I really thought you would have understood where I am coming from."
Confusion entered Kyle. "What do you mean?" he managed to say through cleaned teeth.
"I mean you get made fun of all the time because you are Jewish."
"Yeah… so? I never went and started killing people." He was angry that Pip was trying to compare himself to him.
Pip laughed. "Maybe, but admit it. Sometimes when the Cartman was digging in about your faith and everything you hold dear… didn't you just once want to shut him up good?"
He thought about all the times that Cartman had insulted him and his family. He found himself wondering, if he had been in Pip's shoes. "I guess so," he admitted. "But I never would have killed him."
"Oh really? Maybe not. But I bet one day, he would have crossed a line that you hadn't even known was there. And after he did… you could have… you would have done anything just to make him stop."
Kyle couldn't take it anymore. Sure he got angry, but he would never kill anybody. He shouted, "No I wouldn't! Because that would be totally wrong. It wouldn't be worth it."
Kyle saw a look of distaste grow over Pip's face. The boy muttered, "Weakling." Kyle heard an explosion and found himself surrounded in blackness. Just as reality began to fade completely, Kyle heard a voice shout, "Pip!"
* * *
Stan saw Pip standing over Kyle's lifeless body. He had finally made it to the door of the classroom when he had heard the final shot. He kept his left hand clamped on his stomach where Pip had shot him. Pip thought he had killed him, but he had been mistaken. When he saw Pip standing over his dead friend, anger filled him even more.
"Pip!"
Pip spun around and pointed his gun at Stan. Stan didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. He just needed to know one thing before he died. "Why Pip?" he asked.
Pip lowered his gun somewhat as he reflected on the question. "I had to. You people made my life miserable."
Stan couldn't accept that answer. "Pip… people get picked on all the time. That doesn't make it right, but we all get picked on some time or another. Kyle got picked on because he was Jewish. Cartman got picked on because he was a fat ass. I got picked on because I had a girlfriend." At the mention of Wendy fresh tears appeared in his eyes. "Damnit! It's part of growing up!"
"You don't understand," Pip muttered.
Rage built inside Stan. He yelled. "No I don't understand. You've killed just about everyone I held dear. You killed Wendy… You killed my friends. For what? So you could feel better?" He was practically snarling by the end.
Pip's armor seemed to crack. His old voice seemed to return. "There was no other way. I had to make you listen." He grew quiet. "Oh my, what have I done?" Then just like with Wendy, Pip's face hardened once again. Pip spoke, his hate-filled voice back. "It's too late." He looked into Stan's eyes. "I must finish this."
Time slowed down to a crawl. Stan saw the muzzle fire. He heard it. He felt the bullet explode into his chest.He was on his back. He stared up at the ceiling. Everything had a red tint to it. He could hear Pip walking up to his side, though everything seemed muffled somehow. He tried to speak. Nothing came forth. So this is what it was like to die, he wondered.
* * *
Pip stood over Stan. He couldn't believe that he was still alive. Blood covered his face, leaking into his eyes. Pip could see his mouth moving, but he made no sound, other than his rasping breath. Pip knew that he wouldn't get up this time.
He had begun to turn away when Stan finally managed to speak. "Pip." Pip could barely hear it, so he leaned in closer. Again Stan called his name, his voice choking as his lungs began to fill with blood.
"Pip, you never got to see what I brought for show and tell. I wanted it to be the coolest ever, you know."
Pip was confused. Stan must be going delirious as he approached death. "What are you talking about?"
"You see I went and visited my Uncle Jimbo yesterday."
Pip couldn't understand why he was telling him this. Just then he heard something quietly chime on the floor. He looked down to see a small ring lying beside Stan's stomach. In his bloody hand lay a grenade. Finally he understood.
"Good bye, old chap." Stan's final words trailed off as he finally succumbed to the darkness. The grenade fell from his grasp and rolled several inches. Pip made no move to escape. In the end he welcomed the fire.
It was a sunny afternoon in a small town in Colorado called South Park. Several people walked the snow-covered sidewalks on some errand or another, oblivious to the world, just enjoying a wonderful winter's day.
At the Elementary school, class was about to let out. In the third grade classroom, Mr. Garrison was just finishing up his lecture on American history.
"And that, children, is why Christopher Columbus was the greatest rock star of the 1700's." He paused. "Now, before you leave, I want each of you to bring something in for show and tell for tomorrow. Any questions?"
This was met with several groans. Pip raised his hand. "Oh, Mr. Garrison, sir, what if we don't have anything to bring in?"
With an annoyed look on his face, Mr. Garrison answered, "Then you get an F Pip. Now, anyone have a smart question?"
Even if anyone did, which was doubtful, the lunch bell interrupted them. Without waiting for a word from their teacher, the children ran from the classroom, making as much noise as possible on their way.
* * *
On the playground, after lunch was through, four friends chatted together.
"What are you bringing to show and tell Kyle?" Stan asked.
"I don't know dude." Kyle wasn't good at making decisions like this. That's why he hated them. Why does Mr. Garrison always make us do stupid stuff like this, he thought.
Kenny, his voice almost completely muffled by his hood, added, "Cartman's going to bring one of his mom's dildos."
"Ay! Shut up about my mah, or ay'll kick ya in the nuts!" Cartman replied with his usual gruffness. Cartman sure could get on Kyle's nerves. He still wasn't sure why they hung around him anyway. Wasn't there a saying about keeping your enemies close? That made him smile.
"Okay, calm down," Stan said annoyed. "So what are you going to bring?"
"Cheesey poofs." Cartman looked as if this was the greatest idea of all time.
Kyle couldn't resist a laugh. "You would fat ass."
"Ay! I'm not fat, I'm big boned."
"Whatever." When was he going to come up with something new? He turned to his real friend. "What are you going to bring Stan?"
"It's a secret. I what it to be a surprise."
"Ooooh! It probably sucks," Cartman chimed in.
"No it doesn't."
Just then Pip walked up. If Kyle needed a definition for a melvin, Pip was it.
"Hello chaps," Pip said with his usual happiness.
"Go away Pip," Cartman said immediately.
"Why are you always mean to me?"
"Because you are a melvin," Stan answered.
"Oh why must I be a melvin?"
Pip could get annoying quick. Why didn't he take the hint and leave them alone. "Because you are, Pip. No changing that," Kyle said.
"One day you will learn that you shouldn't pick on people." For a moment Kyle could have sworn he saw a glint of anger in Pip's eyes. Nah… Pip couldn't get angry if he tried, except when he was playing dodgeball.
"Yeah! Whatever Pip," Cartman scoffed.
"Yeah, Pip. Leave us alone," Stan added.
"Oh, Cheerio."
Pip had begun to leave when Cartman muttered, "Stupid Frenchie."
Pip turned his head slightly as if he heard Cartman, but then continued to walk off.
When he left Stan said, "You know guys, maybe we are too hard on Pip."
"He's just a melvin Stan," Kyle replied.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
* * *
The room in the board house was warm. At least they offered heat here; they sure didn't offer much else. Pip set his hat on the edge of the small bed after he entered. Another day over with. At least that much had been accomplished. Pip sighed. Would the ridicule and the cruelties never end? Pip had followed that half-wit school counselor's advice to the letter. He had been the nicest he could be. He had never raised his voice or fought back no matter what the other kids had done to him… What had it gotten him? Nothing.
Well there was that one time with the dodgeball tournament. That day he had fought back and for a moment, the others had respected him. Pip had been on the top of the world. The only problem with being on top was you had that much farther to fall back down. It turned out the other kids had just been using him so they could win the championship. Even when he had done that, they only ridiculed him more.
Tomorrow would be different, though. Pip would make sure of that. He would fight back… only this time he would be doing it for himself, no one else. The thought brought a smile to his face. Yes…
He found himself speaking out loud. "No longer will I be nice Pip… Cheerio Pip. No! Tomorrow I will give them a show and tell they'll never forget!"
He walked over to his closet. That was his secret space. He didn't allow anyone else to see what he kept there. He glanced at the door to his room to make sure it was locked before he opened the closet. The flickering light from within bathed him in a orange glow.
Inside the closet was his sanctuary. Candles of various sizes and colors were everywhere. On the back wall were pictures of each of his classmates, their photos taken from his Class Sampler. He smiled. He basked in the glow from his alter. Tomorrow would definitely be the day. He slowly reached down and picked up a small glass jar filled with a red substance. He methodically unscrewed the top and dipped one finger inside. He withdrew it and began to write on the wall, just above his collection of photos. He had to dip his finger several more times before he was done. There was nothing left to stop him now.
It was time to get some sleep. Sure it was early, but he wanted to be sure he was completely rested for tomorrow. Tomorrow was his big day. He didn't want to mess it up. He quickly changed his clothes and slipped into bed. He soon fell into a peaceful slumber, sleeping sounder than he had in many years.
Even so he did mumble once as he fell deeper into sleep.
"Tomorrow…"
On the back wall of his now closed closet was written the word, "Kill."
* * *
The bus stop had become an almost ritual place to meet for Stan and the others. It wasn't as if they had a choice in the matter, but they did seem to spend almost every morning of the year here. Miss Crabtree didn't help matters being late every morning. Stan couldn't figure out why they didn't just get there later so they didn't have to wait as long. Knowing Miss Crabtree, the day they did that, she would be early.
Stan made it to the stop first. Kyle arrived a few minutes later followed by Kenny, who was carrying a box. As usual Cartman arrived last. That was fine with Stan. The less time he spent around the fat boy, the better.
Kyle spoke up first. "Stan, are still not going to tell us what you brought?"
"No. It's a surprise." He knew his would be the best. There was no chance someone else would have what he brought. No way.
"Tell us damnit!" Cartman nearly shouted.
"Just wait." Boy was he an impatient bastard.
Stan was saved from more badgering by Cartman when the bus pulled up.
"Get on the bus! We're running late!" Miss Crabtree screamed at the boys.
Kenny mumbled something that was completely hidden by his parka.
"What did you say?!?" Miss Crabtree demanded.
Kenny repeated his mumbling, with no better success at being decipherable.
Even so, Miss Crabtree seemed to accept his answer. "Oh. Now get on."
* * *
Pip entered the boy's bathroom. The restroom was empty except for Craig washing his hands in one of the sinks.
"Hello Craig," Pip said calmly.
Craig gave his usual reply. His middle finger. Any other day Pip would have just shrugged it off. But today wasn't just any other day. Today was today. Today was different.
"You shouldn't have done that, Craig," Pip said forcefully.
"Huh?" Craig looked up confused at the Pip's sudden forcefulness.
* * *
Another day of class begins, Stan sighed to himself. If that wasn't bad enough, Cartman wouldn't quit asking him about his show and tell.
"Tell me goddamnit!" Cartman demanded.
"No! Shut up already Cartman!"
His outburst drew the attention of Mr. Garrison. "Do we have a problem Stanley?"
"No Mr. Garrison," Stan answered. Thanks a lot fatass.
"That's good. Class have you seen Craig or Pip today?"
The class replied with various no's.
"Well I guess they're just absent. They most likely wanted to skip out on show and tell. We'll just see about that when they come tomorrow." He chuckled at this. "Okay class, I hope you all brought something special today. Now who is going to go first?"
Stan hoped he wouldn't call him. He didn't want to give away his show and tell just yet.
"Eric, will you show the class what you brought for show and tell?"
Good, Stan thought. Serves him right.
Cartman stood up and carried a brown paper bag to the front. "Why yes Mr. Garrison," he said trying to sound professional. "Mr. Garrison, fellow students, behold…" With that he reached into his bad and pulled out a box of cheesey poofs. "Cheesey Poofs."
Stan could barely contain his laughter. Cartman had actually gone and brought Cheesey Poofs as show and tell. Guess he figured he could eat them for lunch after class.
Cartman only continued. "They are crunchy and delightful." With that said he began that stupid Cheesey Poof theme song he had learned when he was supposed to have been in that commercial. He only made it through the first five words, however, before Mr. Garrison interrupted him.
"You mean that you brought a box of cheesey poofs for show and tell, Eric?"
"Yes," he replied, obviously seeing no problem with his choice.
Mr. Garrison raised his arm and Mr. Hat began to speak. "Well, that's stupid and you get a D minus. Now sit down Eric!"
"Goddamnit!"
Stan could barely contain his laughter. This was great. Cartman got his sure enough.
Back to his normal voice, Mr. Garrison continued, "Kenny, you go next."
Kenny muttered something and stood up, carrying his box. When he reach the front of the class he removed the lid and pulled out a grey rat. The rodent squealed and tried to get away. As soon as the rat appeared from the box, every girl in the classroom screamed. The sound was deafening. Even Mr. Garrison let out a yelp and jumped clear to the top of his desk.
Oblivious the uproar, Kenny began his explanation. "This is a rat. I found him in my bedroom this morning."
Revealing a slight quiver in his voice, Mr. Garrison yelled, "Just what the hell were you thinking bringing a rat to school Kenny? Throw it out the window this instant."
Kenny, broken from his speak looked curiously at Mr. Garrison perched atop his desk and shrugged. He went over to the window, opened it, and deposited the rat outside. With the rodent gone the class quickly returned to normal.
Mr. Garrison got down from his desk. "You get a D Kenny. Now sit down."
"Ay! Why did he get a higher grade than me?" Cartman demanded.
"Because you're a fatass."
Stan could see Cartman shaking in anger. This was turning out to be a pretty good after all. Just then Pip entered the classroom.
"Where have you been Pip?" Mr. Garrison asked.
* * *
Where have you been Pip? It was the first thing Pip heard as he entered the room. He hadn't planned on being so late. Craig had changed his plans some. It surprised Pip how little fight he had put up. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen it coming. Whatever the reason, it had only taken a minute or two. Cleaning up afterward had taken much longer. Pip could swear he could still see some signs of red on his hands. It wouldn't matter soon enough anyway.
"Well? Are you going to answer me or just stand there looking stupid?"
Mr. Hat's outburst broke Pip from his ponderings. He tried to put his usual "happy" voice on; it wasn't time just yet. "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Garrison. I missed the bus and had to walk here. Won't happen again."
Mr. Garrison seemed to buy his story. "Take you seat Pip." Pip had just made it to his seat and sat down when Mr. Garrison spoke up again. "Okay class, since Pip was late and interrupted class, let's have him go next." There were several snickers around the room. Kids loved to see other kids in trouble.
Pip stood up. "Mr. Garrison, I didn't bring anything for show and tell."
"Why not Pip?" he asked innocently.
He lied. "I didn't have anything to bring."
"Well, that's too bad Pip. You get an F."
Pip didn't care. Grades didn't matter anymore. What happened next did matter though.
Mr. Garrison continued, "I'm disappointed in you Pip."
Mr. Hat then took charge. "Yeah! Even Eric managed to bring something in and he's the stupidest kid in the class."
"Ay!"
Mr. Hat only continued. "And even poor Kenny brought something in."
Pip could feel himself losing control… and he didn't care.
"You know what Mr. Garrison?" the infernal puppet asked.
"What, Mr. Hat?"
"Pip sucks ass."
The straw had just broken the camel's back. The world turned red. Pip could feel himself reaching into his jacket. That was it. "That's it!" he shouted. "I've been taking shit from all of you for years, but I'll be damned if I am going to be belittled by a goddamned puppet!"
It was as if Pip was no longer there. He saw himself. He saw himself pull out the handgun he had had hidden in his jacket. He saw himself take aim. He saw the gun fire. He heard the explosion from the gun. He saw the red and white puppet sail from Mr. Garrison's hand and slam into the blackboard beyond, only to fall to the ground. Pip felt a calmness. It was a feeling he had never felt before. But he liked it. It felt like a security blanket around him, comforting him… Guiding him on.
Pip could see Mr. Garrison grab his bloody hand. He could hear him yell, "Mr. Hat! No!" For some reason this brought joy to Pip. Mr. Garrison turned to the boy. "You stupid little shit. I'll get you for this!"
The teacher took one step toward him before Pip once again raised the gun, this time aiming for Mr. Garrison's head. He fired. The bullet hit and Mr. Garrison fell backward, landing awkwardly onto his desk.
Pip heard screams. He turned to his classmates as they tried to flee the room. He could see their faces. He blond-headed Bebe, who had spit into his hair. He fired. She fell. He saw Clyde, who had beat up repeatedly. He fired. He saw Butters, who had been his friend, but only turned out to be another bully. He fired. Each time he fired his gun, the joy inside increased.
* * *
Stan couldn't believe what was going on. Pip had a gun and was killing people. He'd seen stuff like this on the news… but it wasn't supposed to happen to him. It wasn't… but it was.
Now he was hiding behind his school desk, trying not to be killed by his own classmate. He could have run out as soon as Pip had started firing, but Wendy had stayed behind to help Bebe. He crawled over to her. She was crying. Her best friend lay beside her. Bebe was motionless and staring up at the ceiling.
"Wendy, we've got to get out of here," he whispered. She didn't seem to notice. He glanced around. Only Wendy and himself, as well as Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny remained in the room, each hiding behind a desk. "Wendy."
Kenny suddenly tried to make a run for the door. "Pip's fucking lot it!" he shouted.
Pip turned his leveled his gun. Stan could only watch as he fired again. Kenny was hit mid-step and the force knocked him into the wall, where he slid to the floor.
Jesus, Stan thought, none of us are going to make it out of here. Just then he felt Wendy stand up. "Wendy, get down," he pleaded.
Wendy ignored him and took a step toward Pip. "Pip… Phillip… this isn't the answer."
What was she trying to do? Reason with him? After he'd killed her best friend, not to mention Mr. Garrison and the others.
Pip spun around at the sound of her voice. He pointed the gun at her. Stan jumped up, but Pip didn't fire. "Wendy," Pip began weakly, "you can't understand."
Stan, as slowly as possible walked up to his girlfriend. "Wendy," he whispered, "we have to get out of here before he kills us too."
She turned to him. "We have to try to help him." Wendy had always been a kind person, but this was taking it too far. She was about to get herself killed. Wendy turned to Pip once again. "Maybe I don't understand what you've been through, but this isn't the answer. There must be some other way."
Stan looked at Pip and thought saw a glimmer of regret in his eyes. Maybe Wendy was getting through to him. Pop continued. "There is no other way." He waved the gun around. "These people must pay for what they have put me through."
"Please… let me help you. Just tell me what I can do," she pleaded.
"I just wanted to be friends."
"We were wrong. How can we help you?"
Stan suddenly saw the regret vanished from Pip. He tried to shout a warning but it was too late. It happened too fast.
Pip leveled the gun at Wendy. "You can die!" he shouted as he fired the gun once again.
Time seemed to slow for Stan. The gun fired. He shouted. He jumped to push Wendy out of the way. They fell to the floor. It took him a second to realize he hadn't been hit. Wendy wasn't so lucky. She screamed. He was on his knees. He was holding Wendy's head is his lap. She cried out in pain. Her purple jacket was stained red. The red slowly was slowly spreading out over the purple.
"Wendy… hang on." He put his hand in hers. Maybe if she could feel that he was there for her, she would be alright. She gripped it.
"It's so cold. Stan?" He could hear the pain in her voice. Why couldn't it be him down there and not her. She didn't deserve this. She was the love of his life. This… this wasn't supposed to happen.
" I'm here Wendy." It was all he could manage before his throat tightened in grief.
"I love you Stan." He had never known exactly what those words had meant until right then.
"I love you too Wendy." He bent down and they kissed. When they parted his lips were red with her blood. He couldn't think. He didn't know what to do. His love was laying before him and he could do nothing. Wendy tried to speak but nothing came forth. Slowly her eyes closed. Her hand fell from his and landed on the cold floor.
A blackness filled Stan. He turned and faced Pip, the person who had taken away Wendy. Only one thought passed through his mind. Wendy was gone. Pip had taken her away. He had to take Pip away. He stood up and made a step towards him. Pip raised his gun and fired. Click. The gun was empty.
Stan saw Kyle and Cartman stand once they realized Pip was out of bullets.
Kyle spoke quickly. "Stan, we've got to get out of here. Hurry!"
"No." Stan wasn't leaving. He couldn't leave. He took a moment to turn toward them. "Run," he stated simply.
"Not without you," Kyle replied. He had always been a good friend. But this wasn't his fight.
"Leave me! Run now!"
Kyle must have seen something in his eyes. He only nodded. "Be careful." With that said he ran from the classroom, followed closely by Cartman.
Alone with Pip, he turned to face him. "Now it's just you and me Pip. You're going to pay for what you did to Wendy."
Pip only smiled. He looked at his gun. He dropped it to the floor. It rattled and then came to a rest. Slowly and methodically he reached into his jacket and pulled forth another.
"You were saying?"
* * *
Kyle wasn't sure what Stan was going to do, but knew it would have been no use trying to get him to leave. Kyle could only hope his friend knew what he was doing. He turned around to see Cartman right behind him. Cartman could run pretty fast when his life depended on it seemed.
His footsteps echoed in the empty hall. Kyle guessed that the rest of the school had escaped when Pip had first started shooting. He was only ten feet from the outer doors when he heard the shot. His heart sank. He risked another look behind just in time to see Pip leave the classroom and see them.
"Shit! Run faster Cartman. We've got to find someplace to hide. We'll never make out of the playground before he catches us."
Cartman's heavy breathing was his only reply. They hit the doors together. The cold air hit Kyle like a brick wall, but he didn't care. The playground was silent. Snow covered the ground and the trees. Kyle's only worry was trying to find a place to hide. He looked to his right and then to his left. He looked down and saw, just beside the steps, a small area behind a bush. It was just big enough for him to hide. Pip would never think to look for him hiding just outside the door. He jumped down as Cartman continued to run across the playground. He grabbed his knees and pressed them against his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible.
Kyle tried to control his breathing so he wouldn't give himself away. He couldn't think. How long would he have to hide here? Through the leaves of the bush he watched as Cartman run across the playground. He felt bad for leaving him alone, but what could he do? He watched as Cartman hid behind a tree. Damn him. Even Kyle could still see him.
Kyle's heart jumped to his throat when he heard the door to the school open. Pip slowly came out. God, help us, he pleaded silently.
Pip's voice cut through the chilly air. "I can see you Cartman. Come on out fat ass!"
Out of reflex, Cartman evidently forgot his situation. He left his hiding place yelling back. "Ay! I'm not fat, I'm big b-" His voice broke off the bullet hit his chest. He sank to the ground. Kyle could see that though he was bleeding badly, he was still alive.
Pip walked across the empty playground. He soon reached Cartman, who was trying to awkwardly crawl away. Pip spoke softly, but his voice carried. Kyle could clearly hear as coldly said, "You're right. You're not fat… you're dead." With that he shot him again and Cartman went limp.
Kyle couldn't take it anymore. The horrors that he had seen were too much. He screamed. Pip turned at the sound. Kyle knew he couldn't stay where he was. He jumped up and ran back up the stairs. A section of the door next to his head exploded with another shot sending splinters flying. He pulled the door open and ran inside. He didn't know what to do, so he just ran. He heard the door behind him open. He heard a gunshot followed quickly by another.
Suddenly pain exploded in his right leg. It gave way underneath and he fell crudely to the floor, sliding several feet. He reached down and saw his hands were red with his own blood. He yelled out from the pain. It was pain he had never felt before.
He could hear Pip approaching. He tried to crawl away. In his mind he saw Cartman doing the same, Pip approaching, and shooting him. With each movement fresh pain shot through him.
Pip spoke up, his voice full of hatred and loathing, barely recognizable from what it used to sound like. "You know Kyle. I really thought you would have understood where I am coming from."
Confusion entered Kyle. "What do you mean?" he managed to say through cleaned teeth.
"I mean you get made fun of all the time because you are Jewish."
"Yeah… so? I never went and started killing people." He was angry that Pip was trying to compare himself to him.
Pip laughed. "Maybe, but admit it. Sometimes when the Cartman was digging in about your faith and everything you hold dear… didn't you just once want to shut him up good?"
He thought about all the times that Cartman had insulted him and his family. He found himself wondering, if he had been in Pip's shoes. "I guess so," he admitted. "But I never would have killed him."
"Oh really? Maybe not. But I bet one day, he would have crossed a line that you hadn't even known was there. And after he did… you could have… you would have done anything just to make him stop."
Kyle couldn't take it anymore. Sure he got angry, but he would never kill anybody. He shouted, "No I wouldn't! Because that would be totally wrong. It wouldn't be worth it."
Kyle saw a look of distaste grow over Pip's face. The boy muttered, "Weakling." Kyle heard an explosion and found himself surrounded in blackness. Just as reality began to fade completely, Kyle heard a voice shout, "Pip!"
* * *
Stan saw Pip standing over Kyle's lifeless body. He had finally made it to the door of the classroom when he had heard the final shot. He kept his left hand clamped on his stomach where Pip had shot him. Pip thought he had killed him, but he had been mistaken. When he saw Pip standing over his dead friend, anger filled him even more.
"Pip!"
Pip spun around and pointed his gun at Stan. Stan didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. He just needed to know one thing before he died. "Why Pip?" he asked.
Pip lowered his gun somewhat as he reflected on the question. "I had to. You people made my life miserable."
Stan couldn't accept that answer. "Pip… people get picked on all the time. That doesn't make it right, but we all get picked on some time or another. Kyle got picked on because he was Jewish. Cartman got picked on because he was a fat ass. I got picked on because I had a girlfriend." At the mention of Wendy fresh tears appeared in his eyes. "Damnit! It's part of growing up!"
"You don't understand," Pip muttered.
Rage built inside Stan. He yelled. "No I don't understand. You've killed just about everyone I held dear. You killed Wendy… You killed my friends. For what? So you could feel better?" He was practically snarling by the end.
Pip's armor seemed to crack. His old voice seemed to return. "There was no other way. I had to make you listen." He grew quiet. "Oh my, what have I done?" Then just like with Wendy, Pip's face hardened once again. Pip spoke, his hate-filled voice back. "It's too late." He looked into Stan's eyes. "I must finish this."
Time slowed down to a crawl. Stan saw the muzzle fire. He heard it. He felt the bullet explode into his chest.He was on his back. He stared up at the ceiling. Everything had a red tint to it. He could hear Pip walking up to his side, though everything seemed muffled somehow. He tried to speak. Nothing came forth. So this is what it was like to die, he wondered.
* * *
Pip stood over Stan. He couldn't believe that he was still alive. Blood covered his face, leaking into his eyes. Pip could see his mouth moving, but he made no sound, other than his rasping breath. Pip knew that he wouldn't get up this time.
He had begun to turn away when Stan finally managed to speak. "Pip." Pip could barely hear it, so he leaned in closer. Again Stan called his name, his voice choking as his lungs began to fill with blood.
"Pip, you never got to see what I brought for show and tell. I wanted it to be the coolest ever, you know."
Pip was confused. Stan must be going delirious as he approached death. "What are you talking about?"
"You see I went and visited my Uncle Jimbo yesterday."
Pip couldn't understand why he was telling him this. Just then he heard something quietly chime on the floor. He looked down to see a small ring lying beside Stan's stomach. In his bloody hand lay a grenade. Finally he understood.
"Good bye, old chap." Stan's final words trailed off as he finally succumbed to the darkness. The grenade fell from his grasp and rolled several inches. Pip made no move to escape. In the end he welcomed the fire.