Touya Kouyou is such an awesome character... world's strongest Go player (heheh, after Sai, of course ^^) and a pretty good parent, to boot! And anyhow, when I saw that chapter/end of ep 75 when he's just sitting there, late at night, in front of a Go board with just one black stone laid out, waiting for Sai to answer...!! I felt so bad for him and realized that there's a lot of depth and emotion in his story too, as seldom as we see it brush with Hikaru's. So here it is, my first Hikago fanfic (reformatted for easier reading)... yoroshiku onegaishimasu!

Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go, its characters, trademarks, and story all belong to Hotta Yumi, Obata Takeshi, Shueisha, Studio Pierrot, and TV Tokyo--and not to me. ^^; This is just a fanwork for fun.

One Day Soon

By Dark Cyradis

Lately, I have been despairing. I had always believed, even in the twilight of my years, that I would find you. Or at least, even if I came to the end, surely, whatever shyness or hesitation holds you from revealing yourself to me would fall away, that you would come forward before I left this world. You must know that whatever you're hiding does not matter to me. What could possibly keep you away?

You and I, we both strive for the Hand of God, and I know as a certainty that I will only ever reach it in a game played against you. There is no doubt in my mind that you feel the same way I do--how could it be any different? The game we played, that one game--it was pure sublimity. I have never understood what that word means to poets or prophets, and I don't believe that they have felt this feeling we have. The racing of my heart, the tingling of every breath going through my nose and lungs, the surging power and the tension that filled me and tightened me, and set me more free than I have ever been in my life. I felt the immensity of myself, felt the power I held over this universe we'd built together, and best of all, I felt you. Our hearts surely beat as one; they must have, the way our minds connected without touching, without speaking. The ideas we expressed to each other on the Go board, that we nurtured and made flourish--I felt the complete understanding between us, the sense that we worked together to carry the inklings of ideas into the elaborate battles that they became. It thrilled me to see how you could understand my every nuance, how you knew my mind and yet showed me new things, new paths we could take that expanded the patterns on the board and in my mind as I have never experienced before.

Where are you? Why haven't you come to me? I have spent the last twenty years of my life looking for you, all across Asia, into the West and back again. I followed any rumor of a great talent, met every promising child in every corner of the world, always hoping that it would be you. It was a long search, one that my wife never understood, but I didn't mind. I never lost faith that I'd find you. That game against you revitalized me, gave me a goal and a meaning and a prize to look forward to, a challenge to threaten me and keep me moving forward. That game was the beginning of everything for me. It was only then that I realized I'd been waiting all my life for you, that you are the final piece--rather, the missing half-- that completes me and my Go.

And it isn't that finding you, finding that completion, has finished me--not at all; it is just the beginning. I can hardly believe I had thought myself on the path to the Hand of God before! The truth, I realize now, is that it was all preparation, all done to lead me to that game with you so that I could answer you, so that we could glimpse the Hand of God in each other. Now I understand better why my son, Akira, has gone to the lengths he has for his rival, Shindou Hikaru. I thought it was good that he had a rival and, for the first time, someone his own age to find companionship with. I envy him so much now and admire the clarity of his vision. He had the good fortune to meet the one who challenged and completed him at such a young age...! And more than that, he understood so soon that he needed to hold on to him.

You know Shindou, don't you? I wondered over the years if he wasn't really you; his playing style feels like yours, though it is not the same. His Go used to be like a cracked version of yours, but as time passed and I saw his playing develop, I am certain that he is not you. I have refrained from badgering him about you… but my desperation grows. It will not be long now before I will be confined to my bed, unable to venture any further on my own. My heart is still full of conviction but my strength leaves me and my hopes start to wane with it.

Still, I cannot stop the wild, pumping belief deep in the chest of this graying body that the day of our meeting is coming soon; that somehow, as though by a miracle, you will appear before me before long. Lately, I feel stirrings within me that make me feel as though you are near; it is that sense, that excitement that the thought of our game together brings me. But the days pass, one melding into the next without much to distinguish them. The cherry blossoms, so lately bloomed, already shower their fallen petals outside my window. Their fragile, transient lives have always moved me, but this year, I feel I am finally absolved of that slight guilt at seeing them fall...

I wish you would come. I feel it again, the resignation, the acceptance and the sating of my fire, my passion... this was how I was for years before our game together. And then you came, you brought me back to life and extended it much longer than I would have thought possible by giving me back my hope and my desire. I was truly reborn then and I like to think that now, when the light you brought me is starting to wane again, that you'll come back. I'm near death but I still hope and I still want and I still wait. I am certain of it. Very soon, we shall meet again. Let us begin.

It's short, I know.... but please review! Thank you for reading! ^^