Title: How the Marauders discovered the abandoned Prefect's Lounge
Alternate Title: How Peter found out about Sirius and Remus
2nd Alternate Title: How Sirius got some hot lovin'
Author: eMu
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: This exists alongside most of my other fanfic in my little fanon-verse, so there are people and events that are made reference to that are explained in the other fics. I'm particularly proud of this one, so please be nice when you review! And please review! Luv & Dustbunnies from eMu!!! ^_^
The sound of frenzied footsteps echoed down the third floor corridor of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In the lead was Remus Lupin, James Potter at his heels and Sirius Black not far behind.
Huffing along behind them about ten feet (although the distance was increasing rapidly) was stout little Peter Pettigrew. And quite a distance behind them was Argus Filch.
"You guys! Seriously…slow-slow down! Come on!" Peter panted in a rather pathetic sort of manner.
"Hurry up Wormtail!" James hissed.
The three, and about a minute later Peter as well, ducked into the girls toilet, somewhere very few dared to venture. They each stood pressed against the wall next to the door, each being as silent as possible.
Moaning Myrtle, the reason for their isolation, floated up behind them with a sour look on her face.
"You four are always barging in here! Can't you see the sign? This is a GIRL'S toilet!" She whined.
"We're well aware of that, thank you. But due to your social behaviour this place is always abandoned and makes an excellent hiding place." Remus hissed.
"I know it's you this time! BLACK!!! POTTER!! And…two other kids I don't know the names of, COME OUT NOW!!!" Filch's near hysterical screams were easily heard, though muffled slightly by the thick stone wall.
"Now listen! The four of you had better leave or I'll tell on you and-"
"Go crawl up a pipe you hag." Sirius replied in a conversational manner.
Remus clapped a hand over Sirius' mouth and James elbowed him in the ribs. Myrtle looked like she was about to launch into a rather loud fit of wailing.
"Wait! Myrtle! Ignore him, he's just a stupid prat! Listen, we'll be gone in a few minutes, we just need to hide out for a bit. Or, or we could stay and keep you company for a bit!" James suggested. Sirius made an angry squeaking sound that was fortunately muffled by Remus' hand.
"Really?" Myrtle cooed, batting her transparent eyelashes at James.
"Yeah…sure!" James put on a very forced smile. Moaning Myrtle giggled stupidly.
Sirius finally pried Remus' hand off of his mouth. "Spend extra time with that loony? I'd rather take Filch than her!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Myrtle screeched, tears streaming from her face. James looked like he was going to throttle Sirius, and he might've if Remus hadn't grabbed his arms.
Peter put his hands over his ears and made shooshy noises at Myrtle. "Please! My mum'll kill me if I get another detention!"
"SIRIUS BLACK I HATE YOU!!! You're just like all of the people who teased me when I was alive and stole my glasses and pushed me in the mud!!! THEY'RE IN HERE ARGUS!!! ALL OF THEM!!! THEY DID IT!!!" Myrtle screamed, then dive bombed into a toilet.
James, Remus and Peter all fixed angry glares on Sirius just as Filch burst through the door.
"I've got you now. They'll have to expel you this time." Filch said, a relieved smile on his face. Six years he'd been dealing with the marauders, and in the course of those six years they'd made his life a living hell without ever getting caught. Somehow they managed to convince Dumbledore and McGonagall of their innocence every time.
"Let me handle this." Remus muttered, acting once more as their defence lawyer.
"You have no proof we were the ones who stashed the boggart in the Slytherin dorm." Sirius stated, oblivious to Remus' command.
Remus slapped a hand to his forehead, Peter whimpered and James banged his head against the nearby wall.
Filch smiled evilly.
SKIPPY SKIPPY
"My parents are going to kill me!" Peter squeaked.
"At least I can content myself with the knowledge mum won't really care. As long as there's not any property damage. Then Jim'll kill me." Remus muttered.
"It must be great having parents who don't care if you get into trouble." Peter said in an envious tone. Sirius smacked him on the head. "What?"
"Maybe you should meet her then. I'm sure you'd be whistling a different tune." Sirius answered.
"Well we wouldn't even be in half the trouble we get into if it weren't for you! Can't you ever keep your bloody mouth shut?" James seethed. "I'm working on making Head Boy for next year you know."
"Can't imagine why. Seems really dull if you ask me." Sirius answered. "You're top of the class, Quidditch captain and you still haven't impressed Lily. I doubt Head Boy will impress her either. Give it up. She has a different system of values than you."
The four were seated outside of Dumbledore's office, awaiting sentencing.
"Well…I don't see how a boggart could've caused any property damage, so that's good at least." Remus muttered.
"Um…guys?" Peter whispered, pointing out the window. Three heads turned to take in the towering smoke and flames just visible from their vantage point in the tower.
"From a boggart?" Sirius whispered, going rather pale.
"Seems Mr. Goyle is afraid of fire breathing dragons." Professor Dumbledore answered cheerfully upon entering the room. The four turned to face him, looking terrified.
"Shouldn't you be putting out the blaze?" Sirius asked.
"It's being attended to." Dumbledore answered. "As for you four…"
"Please sir, have mercy!" Peter cried out, going on his knees.
"Sir," Remus started, with a bit more dignity. "If my guardians have to pay for this…I won't be coming back to Hogwarts in the fall because I'll be dead. I'm serious. They will kill me. I'm enough of a financial liability now, it'd be more profitable for them if I were dead."
"Now Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, calm down No one is going to be killed. But I will have to contact your parents."
This was met with groans of displeasure from all four marauders. "Please let that be it! My mum will punish me sufficiently! I swear!" Peter squeaked. The other marauders made affirmative noises.
"Boys! Quiet down. Of course there will be further punishment. Now, I admit, you could not have possibly foreseen the Slytherin dorms catching fire. I suppose the architect of the school was partly responsible for that. But seeing as he's been dead for quite sometime, we cannot have him pay us for damages."
"Please…please have mercy…" Peter muttered.
"Therefore, your families will only pay half the sum." Remus cringed. "Cheer up Mr. Lupin, you only have two days of detention as opposed to what professor Arey recommended."
"Oh? What did Misery recommend, the rest of the year?" Sirius asked, referring to their potions professor and head of Slytherin house.
"Professor Arey recommended three weeks."
"In a row?" Peter asked.
"Of course, this was before I informed her you would be paying damages. Now, return to your common rooms and from now on I suggest you leave the Slytherins alone." Dumbledore suggested.
"They started it!" Sirius yelled. James and Remus each grabbed an arm and started walking away.
"Hey! Leggo!"
"Goodnight professor!" Peter chirped before following his friends.
SKIPPY SKIPPY
"We really need to do something about this!" James fumed, once in the safety of their dorm.
"I think our best bet would be to find some sort of spell that would bind Sirius' mouth shut during pranks and getaways." Peter suggested.
"Not a bad thought Wormtail." James muttered, considering their options.
"Ay!" Sirius complained, throwing a pillow at Peter's head.
"Stop that you two. Don't make me get the spray bottle." Remus warned half-heartedly. "I think our best option would be finding a hiding place other than Moaning Myrtle's. Let's face it, we've milked her crush on James for all it's worth. She doesn't care what happens to us anymore."
"Again, if we were to incapacitate Sirius somehow, this wouldn't have happened!" Peter squeaked angrily. Sirius growled at him and he squeaked again, this time in fear.
"You two, stop it. We need to plot." James chided. "There've got to be dozens of abandoned rooms in this place. I mean, we've seen plenty already."
"So we'll set up shop in one of them. There we go, plotting done. Can I throttle Peter now?" Sirius asked.
"No, no throttling. Bad Padfoot." Remus scolded.
"Can I tackle him and give him a wedgie then?" Sirius asked.
"I don't have any problems with that. You Prongs?" Remus asked.
"None." James answered.
"Hey! What did I do?" Peter asked, backing away from Sirius.
"Eh. Wedgie time."
"Ah!" Peter squeaked as he was administered a painful wedgie. "I hate you!"
"Tomorrow night we'll look for a room to use as a base for our operations. And this time we'll use my cloak." James decided.
Good plan. After what happened tonight I think we should use caution." Remus said.
"Agreed."
TWO DAYS AND THREE HOWLERS LATER…
Something was tickling the side of Remus' face. He opened an eye and peered around lazily. Finding nothing amiss, he rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep. Then he felt the tickling sensation again.
"Wake up Moony." Sirius whispered in his ear. Remus jumped and then smacked Sirius. "Ow! What was that for?"
"For scaring me. Sorry, I didn't mean to hit you. Reflexes." Remus amended,
"Well at least you hit like a girl. It would really suck if you had hit me hard, like James did after I told Myrtle he thought she was cute."
"I could hit hard if I wanted to." Remus sniffed indignantly.
"I'm sure you could." Sirius replied in a tone that suggested he felt otherwise.
Remus smiled, then tackled him. The two were fighting for a few minutes before Remus managed to push Sirius off the bed. He looked around. "Where are the others? Wait, it's Saturday, right? Why aren't they asleep?"
Sirius climbed back onto the bed, rubbing his hip where he'd hit the floor. "Ow. They're at breakfast. James wants to get an early start in looking at rooms. Can't believe we haven't found one yet."
"Well a lot of the abandoned seeming ones are a lot more used than we'd thought. So what part of the castle are we searching today?" Remus asked, getting up.
Sirius stretched out, then pulled him back down by the wrist. "I figured we could join the search later." He wrapped an arm around Remus, then kissed his neck.
"We should help…" Remus muttered, his hands caressing Sirius' back.
"Eh…when are we going to get a pleasant opportunity like this to be alone again?" Sirius asked.
And with that both dropped the charade of going somewhere else or being productive and proceeded to hungrily kiss and touch the other.
When they'd started dating a few weeks prior, they'd decided that keeping the relationship a secret would be best, what with Remus wanting to keep as little attention on himself as possible. It was harder to spot him as a werewolf if the other students didn't notice his existence. And being half of the only openly gay couple at Hogwarts would certainly draw attention to himself.
This also meant hiding their relationship from their roommates. It wasn't so much James they were worried about. It was more Peter, who was a wee bit homophobic thanks to his overbearing Catholic grandmother, and who also had a loose tongue. How he had managed to keep Remus' secret astonished all four marauders to no end.
At any rate, the secrecy had created a stronger atmosphere of lust and little opportunity to explore said lust, so both boys were feeling very repressed. Clothing was about to come off when they heard the door creak open.
Instantly, Remus was on the other side of the room, running his fingers through his hair and trying to look casual while Sirius stared at the spot he'd been no less than three seconds ago.
"Hey, did you wake Remus up yet?" James asked, walking in. Peter stood behind him, munching on a bagel.
"Yep. I'm awake." Remus answered.
"Ready to start looking yet? Sirius? Are you okay?" James asked.
"What? Yes, fine." Sirius snapped.
"Okay. We're heading out. We're going to search the dungeons today. You guys take the first floor near the astronomy tower. Bye." James and Peter left.
"We need to get this secret room. I can think of a few interesting things we can do there." Sirius commented.
Remus smiled. "Get your mind out of the gutter, we have work to do."
"Right."
SKIPPY SKIPPY
"There's three inches of dust on the floor. This place has to be abandoned." Remus decided.
Sirius held up the lantern. "I dunno. The location isn't very convenient. It's not near any of our usual hits."
"You mean it's away from Slytherin turf."
"Exactly." Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius frowned. "Come on, you have to admit we spend most of our energy tormenting Snape. And if not him, we usually hit Paglia and Lecinq. And Lecinq is a Slytherin. The point in having a getaway spot is to have it near the place we're getting away from."
"I know. But James and Peter are searching the dungeons anyway…did you hear that?" Remus asked.
"Hear what?" Sirius asked.
"Something's moving…give me the lantern." Remus whispered.
Sirius passed him the lantern and Remus ventured forward. He held it up and peered into the shadowy area of the room. Dusty tables, cobwebs and some old books were visible. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw something run from the light. He aimed the lantern at the corner the thing darted to and almost dropped it.
Five hairy legs…gnashing teeth. They'd found a nest of Quintapeds.
"Just back away very slowly." Sirius whispered.
"Take out your wand you git, they'll eat you!" Remus yelled, freezing two with a carefully aimed charm.
Sirius ran for the door, and two of the Quintapeds chased him. He kicked one off, opened the door and ran out, slamming it behind him. Then he realized he'd left Remus in the room and went back in.
"You idiot! Help me!" Remus was standing against the wall next to the door, three Quintapeds closing in. The two of them froze the remaining Quintapeds, ran out of the room, shut and locked the door, and ran like idiots down the hall.
By the time they reached the dungeons, they were both babbling incoherently. James and Peter stared at them for a few minutes, waiting for them to regain control of what they were saying.
"There is something seriously wrong with this school!" Sirius finally shouted.
"What happened?" James asked.
"We found a nest of Quintapeds in one of the empty rooms. You know, those hairy things that are only supposed to live in Scotland that eat people and have a Ministry of Magic classification of five?!" Remus shrieked.
"So Hagrid had some pets stashed in the school then?" Peter asked in a bored tone.
"Could have been something of Paglia and Lecinq's, at which point we're in serious trouble because they'll release it on us." James noted.
"Quintapeds are man eaters. Paglia and Lecinq aren't out to kill anyone, just make us look like idiots due to the current prank war." Sirius argued.
"I don't know, what about those kelpies they bred in the third floor girl's toilet?" Remus asked. "Kelpies are dangerous."
"Yeah, but their classification is only four." Peter argued.
"Oh that's much better!" Remus yelled. "They've got drakes too! I wouldn't put Quintapeds past them!"
"This is pointless! Our options are either to go to an authority figure and tell them what we've found or keep our mouths shut and continue looking for a room. I'm with the latter because the former involves explaining why we've been sneaking around the castle." Sirius noted. The others reluctantly agreed. "Prongs, Wormtail, did you find anything interesting?"
"Actually yes. There's a room under the astronomy tower right next to the supply area for Potions, which could have its benefits with a well constructed hole in the wall. It's also accessible from the Divination classroom through some secret passages. And it's empty." James explained, an evil grin spreading across his face.
"You're sure?" Remus asked.
"There's a thick layer of dust, old cobwebs and the newest thing we found in there was a text book printed in 1763." James explained. More evil smiling.
SKIPPY SKIPPY
A few cleaning charms to clear away the dust and some blankets piled on the floor and the marauders were ready for their first planning session in their new base of operations, which they'd quickly discovered was an abandoned prefects lounge.
"Glad they changed the location to higher in the castle. I like sunlight." Remus mused.
"Come on, you're going to spend a lot more time here than you ever do in that stupid lounge." Sirius argued. He flipped through some rolls of parchment. "So what are we going to do next?"
"I'm thinking we should do some retaliation on Lecinq and Paglia." Peter suggested.
"Come on Peter, that doesn't involve us." Sirius complained.
"They transfigured my toad into a jarvey! I'm terrible at transfiguration! Poor Aficionado was stuck as a jarvey for three hours until James came back from Quidditch practice. Where were you two anyway?" Peter asked.
"Cleaning up in here." Remus answered quickly. At the same time Sirius answered, "In the library writing our Potions essays."
Peter and James turned suspicious glances their way.
"I was cleaning up in here and he was in the library." Remus corrected. "Well, anyway, your toad is fine now."
"He called me a wanker while he was a jarvey." Peter sniffled. "I don't think I'm giving him anymore treats for a week. And anyway, we extracted revenge upon them when they took out the beaters and fixed those bludgers to attack James."
"This is so…okay. We can't let them think messing with one of us is okay as long as they don't get the full group." James noted.
"Right. We'll need to come up with something very despicable." Sirius agreed.
"I made buddies with the merpeople in the lake." James offered.
"Excellent."
SKIPPY SKIPPY
Remus looked around the darkened dorm room. He could hear Peter's snores well enough, he gathered he probably could have heard them without enhanced waxing moon hearing. He watched James' bed until he was certain he was asleep. Something wasn't right though. James' scent was faint…
He got up and walked over to James' bed. A pillow was posing as James with the blanket thrown over it. How had he missed James leaving? At any rate, this made his plan all the more easy to set into motion.
He roused Sirius with a tender kiss and a suggestive touch, and soon the two were headed for the abandoned prefect's lounge.
"Did James mention sneaking out somewhere tonight?" Remus asked once the two were sure Filch wasn't skulking their particular hallway.
"No. Why?" Sirius asked.
"His bed was empty." Remus answered.
"Hope he's not heading for the abandoned prefect's lounge."
"Yeah. That would suck."
"It's amazing how much your vocabulary dwindles when you're randy." Sirius smiled at his somewhat impatient companion, and Remus scowled.
"And it's amazing how much yours expands when you're teasing me, thus endangering receiving the benefits from my randy state. Padfoot."
"Right, no more teasing. Moony, you're a smart, beautiful, funny and sexy beast, and I'm very much looking forward to shagging you tonight."
"Much better."
The two reached the lounge, already groping incessantly at each other. After a bout of somewhat uncomfortable, but still very passionate and underage sex, the two lay together on the blankets by the small fireplace, sated smiles on their faces.
"That…that was great." Remus whispered. Sirius ran a lazy hand through Remus' hair.
"Yeah. It's really nice to have the physical aspect of this relationship into place too. I thought the sexual repression I was feeling was going to drive me to homicidal tendencies."
Remus turned in Sirius' arms and stared at him. "So many big words in one sentence. Have you started reading those books I've recommended to you, or are you spending too much time with me?"
"There's no such thing as too much time with you." Sirius whispered, laughing at how cheesy he sounded. "And yes, I've been reading more. You were right. I liked the books once I read them. Now you need to read some of the comics I've been suggesting."
"Comics have no merit."
"They do if you find the right ones." Sirius placed a lingering kiss on Remus' lips, then another on his jaw line, and another on his neck. "We should probably go…" He whispered reluctantly, his lips still pressed against Remus' neck.
"Mmm…if Wormtail wakes up, he'll think we've left him behind on something, and he might come down here."
"And that would be a bad thing." Sirius whispered. Neither boy moved. "You need to get up now."
"So do you." Remus answered.
"I want to stay here all night."
"Yeah."
Sirius sighed, and stood up. He pulled on his pants and started pacing. Remus followed him with his eyes, then began to dress himself.
"We should just tell them." Sirius muttered.
"We've had this talk before. It's just not a good idea." Remus said with a frown. "And Peter wouldn't take it well."
"So? He'd get over it. Sure, he hates gay people, but come on Remus, wizards hate werewolves and we all accepted you." Sirius paused. "Was that blunt and callous?"
"Kind of. But that's one of the reasons I love you so damn much."
"Because I'm a heartless shit?" Sirius asked.
"No. Rather you're the same oblivious and somewhat dense 'shit' to everyone. You don't treat me differently because of my lycanthropy. Everyone else does and I hate it."
"I know. Remus? Can you please consider telling James and Peter? I mean, think about how nice it would be if we could sleep in the same bed without worrying about them getting ideas. Or snog in the privacy of our dorm. Which has beds that are much more comfortable than a stone floor with blankets on it."
"Aye…I'll think about it."
MEANWHILE…
Peter woke up and noted the three empty beds. Or rather, his toad jumped onto his face and was sucked into his mouth mid-snore, thus choking him and waking him, with his head facing Sirius' bed once he was done thrashing. Then he noticed the other two beds and took off in search of his comrades.
This search led him to the abandoned prefect's lounge. And this found him seeing something no one ever wants to see two of their closest friends doing. Especially when one is homophobic and sheltered. And this ended in a frightened Peter running back to the sixth years Gryffindor dorm and hiding under the blankets until he heard footsteps.
He looked up and saw James coming in.
"James? Where were you?" He asked.
"Hmm? Why are you awake?" James asked.
He cast an angry glare at his toad, now confined to an aquarium. "That is beside the point, I asked you first."
"Fine. I was just talking to the merpeople about our plan. They're all set to loan us their Grindylows for Wednesday's prank." James was blushing, thus suggesting an ulterior motive for his excursion.
"Any reason you had to go at two in the morning?" Peter asked.
"Just don't think I'm some pervert or something okay?" Peter nodded, now looking a bit excited. "I heard Lily and Cleo talking today and they went skinny dipping in the lake tonight."
"Ooo! Why didn't you tell us?" Peter asked.
"Because I wanted to watch, not have you or Sirius spoil it and get us caught spying on them."
Peter looked disappointed. Then he perked up. "Did you take a picture?"
"What kind of pervert do you think I am? Of course I took pictures! These are going in the wank box."
Just as he was depositing the pictures in said box, the door opened and Sirius and Remus crept in. "Where have you two been?" James asked.
"What are you doing up?" Sirius asked.
"I have a disobedient toad and James was spying on Lily, par usual." Peter explained, careful not to look at either of them. Remus raised an eyebrow and looked at Sirius, who shrugged.
"Well. Where were you?" James asked.
"Abandoned Prefect's lounge." Sirius answered, getting into bed and shutting the curtains. Remus followed suit.
With a confused look on his face, James got into bed and fell asleep.
WEDNESDAY
"This worked out pretty well." Sirius said, watching their adversaries flail in the water.
"I'd say so, yeah." James agreed. The marauders were seated on a hill which provided a perfect vantage point for the spectacle before them.
"Hee hee, look at them thrash." Sirius giggled.
Peter, who had edged about as far away as possible from Sirius and Remus without tumbling down the hill, looked like he was going to burst. He hadn't said anything about what he'd seen to anyone.
"Their retribution will be swift and terrible." Remus noted. "So we should start planning our retaliatory prank as soon as possible."
"Agreed." James answered.
Sirius inched a little closer to Remus and almost imperceptibly placed his hand over Remus'. Peter's eye began to twitch.
"I've been wanting to try a potion of some sort, we haven't done that for awhile. And now we're right next to the supply cabinet." James noted.
"I got a note from Pomfrey to visit the restricted section of the library, I'm sure I can find something interesting." Remus offered.
"How'd you pull that off?" Sirius asked, resting his head on Remus' shoulder.
"Last moon I told her I was running out of reading material. I'd hate to take advantage of her trust in me, but then again, I don't mind taking advantage of her pity for me so I'm willing to use this." Remus answered, casually twining his fingers with Sirius'.
Peter looked like he was going to explode.
"I SAW YOU!!" He screamed. The other three jumped. They turned away from watching the temporary downfall of their foes and stared at Peter.
"Saw us what?" Sirius asked.
"I saw you sinning in the abandoned prefect's lounge! How could you?! We have to go in there too and now you've turned it into your own little dwelling of debauchery!"
"Oh come on Wormtail, better in there than in the dorm while we're trying to sleep right next to them." James argued.
"Wait, you knew? Both of you?" Remus asked, backing away from Sirius a little.
"Of course I did. Sirius told me." James answered. Remus gaped at Sirius.
"Oh come on Moony, he's my best friend, I had to tell him I finally scored." Sirius said defensively.
"Scored? Now I feel dirty." Remus suppressed a shudder.
"You should! You'll go to hell for what you just did. It's unnatural. And you'll get the AIDS and all that." Peter chimed in. Sirius stared at him for a moment, then pushed him down the hill. He turned to Remus.
"I'm sorry for putting it that way, that's not what I meant. But well…we've both been trying to shag for weeks now and we didn't get the chance and I was all excited and I told James. And he told me he didn't want to know but I told him anyway and he doesn't care. Just as long as we don't have open sex while he's in the room he doesn't care."
"You guys can be as cutesy as you like." James confirmed.
"Suddenly I'm feeling like the feminine one in this relationship." Remus muttered. "Let's get Peter from the bottom of the hill and see if we can explain this to him better."
"Yeah alright." James agreed.
"Or we could leave him down there for a little." Sirius suggested. James pushed him down the hill.
END
Alternate Title: How Peter found out about Sirius and Remus
2nd Alternate Title: How Sirius got some hot lovin'
Author: eMu
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: This exists alongside most of my other fanfic in my little fanon-verse, so there are people and events that are made reference to that are explained in the other fics. I'm particularly proud of this one, so please be nice when you review! And please review! Luv & Dustbunnies from eMu!!! ^_^
The sound of frenzied footsteps echoed down the third floor corridor of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In the lead was Remus Lupin, James Potter at his heels and Sirius Black not far behind.
Huffing along behind them about ten feet (although the distance was increasing rapidly) was stout little Peter Pettigrew. And quite a distance behind them was Argus Filch.
"You guys! Seriously…slow-slow down! Come on!" Peter panted in a rather pathetic sort of manner.
"Hurry up Wormtail!" James hissed.
The three, and about a minute later Peter as well, ducked into the girls toilet, somewhere very few dared to venture. They each stood pressed against the wall next to the door, each being as silent as possible.
Moaning Myrtle, the reason for their isolation, floated up behind them with a sour look on her face.
"You four are always barging in here! Can't you see the sign? This is a GIRL'S toilet!" She whined.
"We're well aware of that, thank you. But due to your social behaviour this place is always abandoned and makes an excellent hiding place." Remus hissed.
"I know it's you this time! BLACK!!! POTTER!! And…two other kids I don't know the names of, COME OUT NOW!!!" Filch's near hysterical screams were easily heard, though muffled slightly by the thick stone wall.
"Now listen! The four of you had better leave or I'll tell on you and-"
"Go crawl up a pipe you hag." Sirius replied in a conversational manner.
Remus clapped a hand over Sirius' mouth and James elbowed him in the ribs. Myrtle looked like she was about to launch into a rather loud fit of wailing.
"Wait! Myrtle! Ignore him, he's just a stupid prat! Listen, we'll be gone in a few minutes, we just need to hide out for a bit. Or, or we could stay and keep you company for a bit!" James suggested. Sirius made an angry squeaking sound that was fortunately muffled by Remus' hand.
"Really?" Myrtle cooed, batting her transparent eyelashes at James.
"Yeah…sure!" James put on a very forced smile. Moaning Myrtle giggled stupidly.
Sirius finally pried Remus' hand off of his mouth. "Spend extra time with that loony? I'd rather take Filch than her!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Myrtle screeched, tears streaming from her face. James looked like he was going to throttle Sirius, and he might've if Remus hadn't grabbed his arms.
Peter put his hands over his ears and made shooshy noises at Myrtle. "Please! My mum'll kill me if I get another detention!"
"SIRIUS BLACK I HATE YOU!!! You're just like all of the people who teased me when I was alive and stole my glasses and pushed me in the mud!!! THEY'RE IN HERE ARGUS!!! ALL OF THEM!!! THEY DID IT!!!" Myrtle screamed, then dive bombed into a toilet.
James, Remus and Peter all fixed angry glares on Sirius just as Filch burst through the door.
"I've got you now. They'll have to expel you this time." Filch said, a relieved smile on his face. Six years he'd been dealing with the marauders, and in the course of those six years they'd made his life a living hell without ever getting caught. Somehow they managed to convince Dumbledore and McGonagall of their innocence every time.
"Let me handle this." Remus muttered, acting once more as their defence lawyer.
"You have no proof we were the ones who stashed the boggart in the Slytherin dorm." Sirius stated, oblivious to Remus' command.
Remus slapped a hand to his forehead, Peter whimpered and James banged his head against the nearby wall.
Filch smiled evilly.
SKIPPY SKIPPY
"My parents are going to kill me!" Peter squeaked.
"At least I can content myself with the knowledge mum won't really care. As long as there's not any property damage. Then Jim'll kill me." Remus muttered.
"It must be great having parents who don't care if you get into trouble." Peter said in an envious tone. Sirius smacked him on the head. "What?"
"Maybe you should meet her then. I'm sure you'd be whistling a different tune." Sirius answered.
"Well we wouldn't even be in half the trouble we get into if it weren't for you! Can't you ever keep your bloody mouth shut?" James seethed. "I'm working on making Head Boy for next year you know."
"Can't imagine why. Seems really dull if you ask me." Sirius answered. "You're top of the class, Quidditch captain and you still haven't impressed Lily. I doubt Head Boy will impress her either. Give it up. She has a different system of values than you."
The four were seated outside of Dumbledore's office, awaiting sentencing.
"Well…I don't see how a boggart could've caused any property damage, so that's good at least." Remus muttered.
"Um…guys?" Peter whispered, pointing out the window. Three heads turned to take in the towering smoke and flames just visible from their vantage point in the tower.
"From a boggart?" Sirius whispered, going rather pale.
"Seems Mr. Goyle is afraid of fire breathing dragons." Professor Dumbledore answered cheerfully upon entering the room. The four turned to face him, looking terrified.
"Shouldn't you be putting out the blaze?" Sirius asked.
"It's being attended to." Dumbledore answered. "As for you four…"
"Please sir, have mercy!" Peter cried out, going on his knees.
"Sir," Remus started, with a bit more dignity. "If my guardians have to pay for this…I won't be coming back to Hogwarts in the fall because I'll be dead. I'm serious. They will kill me. I'm enough of a financial liability now, it'd be more profitable for them if I were dead."
"Now Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, calm down No one is going to be killed. But I will have to contact your parents."
This was met with groans of displeasure from all four marauders. "Please let that be it! My mum will punish me sufficiently! I swear!" Peter squeaked. The other marauders made affirmative noises.
"Boys! Quiet down. Of course there will be further punishment. Now, I admit, you could not have possibly foreseen the Slytherin dorms catching fire. I suppose the architect of the school was partly responsible for that. But seeing as he's been dead for quite sometime, we cannot have him pay us for damages."
"Please…please have mercy…" Peter muttered.
"Therefore, your families will only pay half the sum." Remus cringed. "Cheer up Mr. Lupin, you only have two days of detention as opposed to what professor Arey recommended."
"Oh? What did Misery recommend, the rest of the year?" Sirius asked, referring to their potions professor and head of Slytherin house.
"Professor Arey recommended three weeks."
"In a row?" Peter asked.
"Of course, this was before I informed her you would be paying damages. Now, return to your common rooms and from now on I suggest you leave the Slytherins alone." Dumbledore suggested.
"They started it!" Sirius yelled. James and Remus each grabbed an arm and started walking away.
"Hey! Leggo!"
"Goodnight professor!" Peter chirped before following his friends.
SKIPPY SKIPPY
"We really need to do something about this!" James fumed, once in the safety of their dorm.
"I think our best bet would be to find some sort of spell that would bind Sirius' mouth shut during pranks and getaways." Peter suggested.
"Not a bad thought Wormtail." James muttered, considering their options.
"Ay!" Sirius complained, throwing a pillow at Peter's head.
"Stop that you two. Don't make me get the spray bottle." Remus warned half-heartedly. "I think our best option would be finding a hiding place other than Moaning Myrtle's. Let's face it, we've milked her crush on James for all it's worth. She doesn't care what happens to us anymore."
"Again, if we were to incapacitate Sirius somehow, this wouldn't have happened!" Peter squeaked angrily. Sirius growled at him and he squeaked again, this time in fear.
"You two, stop it. We need to plot." James chided. "There've got to be dozens of abandoned rooms in this place. I mean, we've seen plenty already."
"So we'll set up shop in one of them. There we go, plotting done. Can I throttle Peter now?" Sirius asked.
"No, no throttling. Bad Padfoot." Remus scolded.
"Can I tackle him and give him a wedgie then?" Sirius asked.
"I don't have any problems with that. You Prongs?" Remus asked.
"None." James answered.
"Hey! What did I do?" Peter asked, backing away from Sirius.
"Eh. Wedgie time."
"Ah!" Peter squeaked as he was administered a painful wedgie. "I hate you!"
"Tomorrow night we'll look for a room to use as a base for our operations. And this time we'll use my cloak." James decided.
Good plan. After what happened tonight I think we should use caution." Remus said.
"Agreed."
TWO DAYS AND THREE HOWLERS LATER…
Something was tickling the side of Remus' face. He opened an eye and peered around lazily. Finding nothing amiss, he rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep. Then he felt the tickling sensation again.
"Wake up Moony." Sirius whispered in his ear. Remus jumped and then smacked Sirius. "Ow! What was that for?"
"For scaring me. Sorry, I didn't mean to hit you. Reflexes." Remus amended,
"Well at least you hit like a girl. It would really suck if you had hit me hard, like James did after I told Myrtle he thought she was cute."
"I could hit hard if I wanted to." Remus sniffed indignantly.
"I'm sure you could." Sirius replied in a tone that suggested he felt otherwise.
Remus smiled, then tackled him. The two were fighting for a few minutes before Remus managed to push Sirius off the bed. He looked around. "Where are the others? Wait, it's Saturday, right? Why aren't they asleep?"
Sirius climbed back onto the bed, rubbing his hip where he'd hit the floor. "Ow. They're at breakfast. James wants to get an early start in looking at rooms. Can't believe we haven't found one yet."
"Well a lot of the abandoned seeming ones are a lot more used than we'd thought. So what part of the castle are we searching today?" Remus asked, getting up.
Sirius stretched out, then pulled him back down by the wrist. "I figured we could join the search later." He wrapped an arm around Remus, then kissed his neck.
"We should help…" Remus muttered, his hands caressing Sirius' back.
"Eh…when are we going to get a pleasant opportunity like this to be alone again?" Sirius asked.
And with that both dropped the charade of going somewhere else or being productive and proceeded to hungrily kiss and touch the other.
When they'd started dating a few weeks prior, they'd decided that keeping the relationship a secret would be best, what with Remus wanting to keep as little attention on himself as possible. It was harder to spot him as a werewolf if the other students didn't notice his existence. And being half of the only openly gay couple at Hogwarts would certainly draw attention to himself.
This also meant hiding their relationship from their roommates. It wasn't so much James they were worried about. It was more Peter, who was a wee bit homophobic thanks to his overbearing Catholic grandmother, and who also had a loose tongue. How he had managed to keep Remus' secret astonished all four marauders to no end.
At any rate, the secrecy had created a stronger atmosphere of lust and little opportunity to explore said lust, so both boys were feeling very repressed. Clothing was about to come off when they heard the door creak open.
Instantly, Remus was on the other side of the room, running his fingers through his hair and trying to look casual while Sirius stared at the spot he'd been no less than three seconds ago.
"Hey, did you wake Remus up yet?" James asked, walking in. Peter stood behind him, munching on a bagel.
"Yep. I'm awake." Remus answered.
"Ready to start looking yet? Sirius? Are you okay?" James asked.
"What? Yes, fine." Sirius snapped.
"Okay. We're heading out. We're going to search the dungeons today. You guys take the first floor near the astronomy tower. Bye." James and Peter left.
"We need to get this secret room. I can think of a few interesting things we can do there." Sirius commented.
Remus smiled. "Get your mind out of the gutter, we have work to do."
"Right."
SKIPPY SKIPPY
"There's three inches of dust on the floor. This place has to be abandoned." Remus decided.
Sirius held up the lantern. "I dunno. The location isn't very convenient. It's not near any of our usual hits."
"You mean it's away from Slytherin turf."
"Exactly." Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius frowned. "Come on, you have to admit we spend most of our energy tormenting Snape. And if not him, we usually hit Paglia and Lecinq. And Lecinq is a Slytherin. The point in having a getaway spot is to have it near the place we're getting away from."
"I know. But James and Peter are searching the dungeons anyway…did you hear that?" Remus asked.
"Hear what?" Sirius asked.
"Something's moving…give me the lantern." Remus whispered.
Sirius passed him the lantern and Remus ventured forward. He held it up and peered into the shadowy area of the room. Dusty tables, cobwebs and some old books were visible. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw something run from the light. He aimed the lantern at the corner the thing darted to and almost dropped it.
Five hairy legs…gnashing teeth. They'd found a nest of Quintapeds.
"Just back away very slowly." Sirius whispered.
"Take out your wand you git, they'll eat you!" Remus yelled, freezing two with a carefully aimed charm.
Sirius ran for the door, and two of the Quintapeds chased him. He kicked one off, opened the door and ran out, slamming it behind him. Then he realized he'd left Remus in the room and went back in.
"You idiot! Help me!" Remus was standing against the wall next to the door, three Quintapeds closing in. The two of them froze the remaining Quintapeds, ran out of the room, shut and locked the door, and ran like idiots down the hall.
By the time they reached the dungeons, they were both babbling incoherently. James and Peter stared at them for a few minutes, waiting for them to regain control of what they were saying.
"There is something seriously wrong with this school!" Sirius finally shouted.
"What happened?" James asked.
"We found a nest of Quintapeds in one of the empty rooms. You know, those hairy things that are only supposed to live in Scotland that eat people and have a Ministry of Magic classification of five?!" Remus shrieked.
"So Hagrid had some pets stashed in the school then?" Peter asked in a bored tone.
"Could have been something of Paglia and Lecinq's, at which point we're in serious trouble because they'll release it on us." James noted.
"Quintapeds are man eaters. Paglia and Lecinq aren't out to kill anyone, just make us look like idiots due to the current prank war." Sirius argued.
"I don't know, what about those kelpies they bred in the third floor girl's toilet?" Remus asked. "Kelpies are dangerous."
"Yeah, but their classification is only four." Peter argued.
"Oh that's much better!" Remus yelled. "They've got drakes too! I wouldn't put Quintapeds past them!"
"This is pointless! Our options are either to go to an authority figure and tell them what we've found or keep our mouths shut and continue looking for a room. I'm with the latter because the former involves explaining why we've been sneaking around the castle." Sirius noted. The others reluctantly agreed. "Prongs, Wormtail, did you find anything interesting?"
"Actually yes. There's a room under the astronomy tower right next to the supply area for Potions, which could have its benefits with a well constructed hole in the wall. It's also accessible from the Divination classroom through some secret passages. And it's empty." James explained, an evil grin spreading across his face.
"You're sure?" Remus asked.
"There's a thick layer of dust, old cobwebs and the newest thing we found in there was a text book printed in 1763." James explained. More evil smiling.
SKIPPY SKIPPY
A few cleaning charms to clear away the dust and some blankets piled on the floor and the marauders were ready for their first planning session in their new base of operations, which they'd quickly discovered was an abandoned prefects lounge.
"Glad they changed the location to higher in the castle. I like sunlight." Remus mused.
"Come on, you're going to spend a lot more time here than you ever do in that stupid lounge." Sirius argued. He flipped through some rolls of parchment. "So what are we going to do next?"
"I'm thinking we should do some retaliation on Lecinq and Paglia." Peter suggested.
"Come on Peter, that doesn't involve us." Sirius complained.
"They transfigured my toad into a jarvey! I'm terrible at transfiguration! Poor Aficionado was stuck as a jarvey for three hours until James came back from Quidditch practice. Where were you two anyway?" Peter asked.
"Cleaning up in here." Remus answered quickly. At the same time Sirius answered, "In the library writing our Potions essays."
Peter and James turned suspicious glances their way.
"I was cleaning up in here and he was in the library." Remus corrected. "Well, anyway, your toad is fine now."
"He called me a wanker while he was a jarvey." Peter sniffled. "I don't think I'm giving him anymore treats for a week. And anyway, we extracted revenge upon them when they took out the beaters and fixed those bludgers to attack James."
"This is so…okay. We can't let them think messing with one of us is okay as long as they don't get the full group." James noted.
"Right. We'll need to come up with something very despicable." Sirius agreed.
"I made buddies with the merpeople in the lake." James offered.
"Excellent."
SKIPPY SKIPPY
Remus looked around the darkened dorm room. He could hear Peter's snores well enough, he gathered he probably could have heard them without enhanced waxing moon hearing. He watched James' bed until he was certain he was asleep. Something wasn't right though. James' scent was faint…
He got up and walked over to James' bed. A pillow was posing as James with the blanket thrown over it. How had he missed James leaving? At any rate, this made his plan all the more easy to set into motion.
He roused Sirius with a tender kiss and a suggestive touch, and soon the two were headed for the abandoned prefect's lounge.
"Did James mention sneaking out somewhere tonight?" Remus asked once the two were sure Filch wasn't skulking their particular hallway.
"No. Why?" Sirius asked.
"His bed was empty." Remus answered.
"Hope he's not heading for the abandoned prefect's lounge."
"Yeah. That would suck."
"It's amazing how much your vocabulary dwindles when you're randy." Sirius smiled at his somewhat impatient companion, and Remus scowled.
"And it's amazing how much yours expands when you're teasing me, thus endangering receiving the benefits from my randy state. Padfoot."
"Right, no more teasing. Moony, you're a smart, beautiful, funny and sexy beast, and I'm very much looking forward to shagging you tonight."
"Much better."
The two reached the lounge, already groping incessantly at each other. After a bout of somewhat uncomfortable, but still very passionate and underage sex, the two lay together on the blankets by the small fireplace, sated smiles on their faces.
"That…that was great." Remus whispered. Sirius ran a lazy hand through Remus' hair.
"Yeah. It's really nice to have the physical aspect of this relationship into place too. I thought the sexual repression I was feeling was going to drive me to homicidal tendencies."
Remus turned in Sirius' arms and stared at him. "So many big words in one sentence. Have you started reading those books I've recommended to you, or are you spending too much time with me?"
"There's no such thing as too much time with you." Sirius whispered, laughing at how cheesy he sounded. "And yes, I've been reading more. You were right. I liked the books once I read them. Now you need to read some of the comics I've been suggesting."
"Comics have no merit."
"They do if you find the right ones." Sirius placed a lingering kiss on Remus' lips, then another on his jaw line, and another on his neck. "We should probably go…" He whispered reluctantly, his lips still pressed against Remus' neck.
"Mmm…if Wormtail wakes up, he'll think we've left him behind on something, and he might come down here."
"And that would be a bad thing." Sirius whispered. Neither boy moved. "You need to get up now."
"So do you." Remus answered.
"I want to stay here all night."
"Yeah."
Sirius sighed, and stood up. He pulled on his pants and started pacing. Remus followed him with his eyes, then began to dress himself.
"We should just tell them." Sirius muttered.
"We've had this talk before. It's just not a good idea." Remus said with a frown. "And Peter wouldn't take it well."
"So? He'd get over it. Sure, he hates gay people, but come on Remus, wizards hate werewolves and we all accepted you." Sirius paused. "Was that blunt and callous?"
"Kind of. But that's one of the reasons I love you so damn much."
"Because I'm a heartless shit?" Sirius asked.
"No. Rather you're the same oblivious and somewhat dense 'shit' to everyone. You don't treat me differently because of my lycanthropy. Everyone else does and I hate it."
"I know. Remus? Can you please consider telling James and Peter? I mean, think about how nice it would be if we could sleep in the same bed without worrying about them getting ideas. Or snog in the privacy of our dorm. Which has beds that are much more comfortable than a stone floor with blankets on it."
"Aye…I'll think about it."
MEANWHILE…
Peter woke up and noted the three empty beds. Or rather, his toad jumped onto his face and was sucked into his mouth mid-snore, thus choking him and waking him, with his head facing Sirius' bed once he was done thrashing. Then he noticed the other two beds and took off in search of his comrades.
This search led him to the abandoned prefect's lounge. And this found him seeing something no one ever wants to see two of their closest friends doing. Especially when one is homophobic and sheltered. And this ended in a frightened Peter running back to the sixth years Gryffindor dorm and hiding under the blankets until he heard footsteps.
He looked up and saw James coming in.
"James? Where were you?" He asked.
"Hmm? Why are you awake?" James asked.
He cast an angry glare at his toad, now confined to an aquarium. "That is beside the point, I asked you first."
"Fine. I was just talking to the merpeople about our plan. They're all set to loan us their Grindylows for Wednesday's prank." James was blushing, thus suggesting an ulterior motive for his excursion.
"Any reason you had to go at two in the morning?" Peter asked.
"Just don't think I'm some pervert or something okay?" Peter nodded, now looking a bit excited. "I heard Lily and Cleo talking today and they went skinny dipping in the lake tonight."
"Ooo! Why didn't you tell us?" Peter asked.
"Because I wanted to watch, not have you or Sirius spoil it and get us caught spying on them."
Peter looked disappointed. Then he perked up. "Did you take a picture?"
"What kind of pervert do you think I am? Of course I took pictures! These are going in the wank box."
Just as he was depositing the pictures in said box, the door opened and Sirius and Remus crept in. "Where have you two been?" James asked.
"What are you doing up?" Sirius asked.
"I have a disobedient toad and James was spying on Lily, par usual." Peter explained, careful not to look at either of them. Remus raised an eyebrow and looked at Sirius, who shrugged.
"Well. Where were you?" James asked.
"Abandoned Prefect's lounge." Sirius answered, getting into bed and shutting the curtains. Remus followed suit.
With a confused look on his face, James got into bed and fell asleep.
WEDNESDAY
"This worked out pretty well." Sirius said, watching their adversaries flail in the water.
"I'd say so, yeah." James agreed. The marauders were seated on a hill which provided a perfect vantage point for the spectacle before them.
"Hee hee, look at them thrash." Sirius giggled.
Peter, who had edged about as far away as possible from Sirius and Remus without tumbling down the hill, looked like he was going to burst. He hadn't said anything about what he'd seen to anyone.
"Their retribution will be swift and terrible." Remus noted. "So we should start planning our retaliatory prank as soon as possible."
"Agreed." James answered.
Sirius inched a little closer to Remus and almost imperceptibly placed his hand over Remus'. Peter's eye began to twitch.
"I've been wanting to try a potion of some sort, we haven't done that for awhile. And now we're right next to the supply cabinet." James noted.
"I got a note from Pomfrey to visit the restricted section of the library, I'm sure I can find something interesting." Remus offered.
"How'd you pull that off?" Sirius asked, resting his head on Remus' shoulder.
"Last moon I told her I was running out of reading material. I'd hate to take advantage of her trust in me, but then again, I don't mind taking advantage of her pity for me so I'm willing to use this." Remus answered, casually twining his fingers with Sirius'.
Peter looked like he was going to explode.
"I SAW YOU!!" He screamed. The other three jumped. They turned away from watching the temporary downfall of their foes and stared at Peter.
"Saw us what?" Sirius asked.
"I saw you sinning in the abandoned prefect's lounge! How could you?! We have to go in there too and now you've turned it into your own little dwelling of debauchery!"
"Oh come on Wormtail, better in there than in the dorm while we're trying to sleep right next to them." James argued.
"Wait, you knew? Both of you?" Remus asked, backing away from Sirius a little.
"Of course I did. Sirius told me." James answered. Remus gaped at Sirius.
"Oh come on Moony, he's my best friend, I had to tell him I finally scored." Sirius said defensively.
"Scored? Now I feel dirty." Remus suppressed a shudder.
"You should! You'll go to hell for what you just did. It's unnatural. And you'll get the AIDS and all that." Peter chimed in. Sirius stared at him for a moment, then pushed him down the hill. He turned to Remus.
"I'm sorry for putting it that way, that's not what I meant. But well…we've both been trying to shag for weeks now and we didn't get the chance and I was all excited and I told James. And he told me he didn't want to know but I told him anyway and he doesn't care. Just as long as we don't have open sex while he's in the room he doesn't care."
"You guys can be as cutesy as you like." James confirmed.
"Suddenly I'm feeling like the feminine one in this relationship." Remus muttered. "Let's get Peter from the bottom of the hill and see if we can explain this to him better."
"Yeah alright." James agreed.
"Or we could leave him down there for a little." Sirius suggested. James pushed him down the hill.
END