A/N: I'm baaack! .:watches everyone run away:. ^^; Erm...well, I *tried* to take a break from In A Heartbeat by writing a Harry Potter and a Lizzie McGuire slash fic, but really, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do! My hand kept wanting to write "Val" and "Tyler"... pretty soon all the margens of my papers were covered in "Jamie"s and "Caitie"s and "In a Heartbeat Rocks" (As well as Melodie and Jeff Davis((from Whose Line is it Anyway and On the Spot)) surrounded by little hearts ;) ) And let me say that I'm finally glad I'm writing an In A Heartbeat fic again ^_^ Anyway, this song fic will consist of five Evanescence songs I thought told a pretty offsetting and bitter bitter romance (like you want more romance)/angst/drama story. Since my HTML files won't work still for whatever reason, this fic may be a little hard to understand without the italicized song lyrics, but I'll try to separate them from the actual story as best as I can. Anyway, please R/R
*
"I linger in the door way
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name"
Caitie moaned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and pressing the snooze button on her buzzing alarm clock. It was an early Monday morning. Four o'clock in the morning, to be exact. She always got up that early, way before her father, because the sooner she could wake up and get dressed and such, the sooner she could get to school. Not that she liked school. No, she hated it with a passion and thought it a pointless waste of time. But, if she was at school, she could not be at home, and at home was where her abusive dad was.
She rolled out of bed and walked over to the window, looking down at the quiet street below.
"Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops
As they're falling tell a story"
The sky was still dark, but Caitie liked it that way. She was nocturnal. The serenity the night time brought had a calming and almost supernatural effect on her. She would have liked nothing more than to live in a land where it was night all the time, where she could sleep outside in the warm air, beneath the twinkling stars, with no one but her boyfriend, Jamie, by her side, free from all the stresses of society, away from her violent father, all the ridiculing teachers and students at school...
"In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me"
She wondered where her mother was, if she was enjoying life without her husband, without her daughter. If only she had taken her with her, that night she left...
Before she knew it, a half an hour had gone by. She hadn't meant to be day dreaming that long. She couldn't waste time if she wanted to make it out of the house before her dad woke up. She quickly changed into a pair of kahkis and a red and black T-shirt, grabbed her school bag, and tip toed down stairs.
Fishing in the back of the kitchen cabinet, she pulled out a poptart and stuffed it into her pocket. She wasn't hungry now, but she could save it for later. She zipped up her school bag and slung it over her shoulder. She was ready. But before she could make it out the door, she heard a sound behind her.
"And where do you think you're going?"
"Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos - Your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I build my own world to escape"
Caitie's heart skipped a beat as, trembling, she slowly turned around. "Uh...Dad..." she stammered in both surprise and dismay.
"Don't 'Dad' me," he snorted, walking down the rest of the stairs, reaching into the refridgerator, and pulling out a bottle of beer. He popped off the top and took a long swig before speaking again. "I know where you were going." Caitie didn't say anything as her dad smirked. "You were going to have sex, weren't you?"
She choked. "What?" Then again, she should have expected something like that from him. More than likely he was probably drunk.
"That's right, you were off to meet some guy somewhere and get laid." He took another drink. "Is that what it takes to get you up in the morning?" He laughed at his own joke and shook his head. "Slut."
Caitie felt herself bristle with anger. "That's not true, I'm not YOU!"
"Oh ho, getting fiesty, are we?" He took five long strides across the kitchen until he was standing within six feet of his daughter. In one quick motion he lashed out, striking Caitie across her right cheek with the back of his hand.
She yelped and lept back a step, clutching her stinging face.
Her father laughed, a low, raspy noise. "Not so tough, are we now?" He finished drinking the beer, then smashed the bottle against the side of the table, right next to Caitie. She inhaled sharply and ran around her dad to the middle of the kitchen, dodging the flying pieces of broken glass. Her actions only brought more twisted amusement to her dad, however.
"Please," Caitie panted, her heart hammering in her chest. "Please, let me go."
"Aha ha ha! What on earth are you talking about? I ain't hanging on to you."
"Then...then I can leave?" She asked, skeptically.
He snorted. "Why should I care? It's no skin off my back if you get knocked up."
She took a hesitant step forward, eyeing him warilly, but her father only crossed his arms over his chest, watching her closely. He was standing between her and the door. If only she had run backwards instead of forwards! She took a step to his left, expecting to walk around him, but he copied her movement, once again standing in front of her. "Please!" she pleaded, but he only shrugged innocently.
"Go ahead, don't let me stop you."
Never taking her eyes off him, she tried stepping to his right, but yet again he followed her suit and did the same. Ok, so he obviously wasn't going to let her go willingly. So, taking a deep breath, she feigned a jump left, and when he moved to block her, she ran. She made it out the door, but not without recieving a painful blow from the broken bottleneck her dad still clutched in his fist.
She staggered backwards into the street, rubbing the side of her head where she had been hit. She looked down at her fingers and wasn't surprized to see that they glistened with warm, sticky blood. "I hate you!" She yeleld to her dad's sillouette still visible in the glass door. "Hear that? I hate you!" Even though she knew he really couldn't care less, it felt good to say it, and with that, she started running.
"In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me"
She ran to the school, which was her original intent anyway, where she could sit and brood under the bleachers for a few hours before class.
She reached the football field and made her way behind the stands, taking a seat in her favourite dark corner. Her head had stopped bleeding, it had been a shallow cut, thank goodness, and she used the back of her hand to rub away the last of the blood. She unzipped her school back and pulled out her compact to see just how bad the wound looked. By the light of the sun which was just peeping out over the horizon, she checked her reflection in the mirror. "Oh, God," she muttered. While the cut was barely noticeable, the flesh around her eye was becoming swollen and turning purple. Obviously the bottle neck had hit her closer to her eye than she had realized. She tried covering it up with make up, but it didn't completely hide it, leaving it still bruitally noticable.
She went back to staring at her reflection, then broke down into tears.
"Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light"
"Why?" She sobbed to herself. "Why me? Why does this always have to happen to ME?! What have I ever done to deserve this?" She rubbed the tears out of her eyes, though they were quickly replaced by more. "I hate the world!" She yelled. "I hate my dad! I hate my life! I hate ME!" She slammed her fist down on her school bag. *I just wish I was dead!* she thought bitterly to herself. "Yes, that's right," she repeated out loud. "I just want to die."
"In my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me"
*
"I linger in the door way
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name"
Caitie moaned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and pressing the snooze button on her buzzing alarm clock. It was an early Monday morning. Four o'clock in the morning, to be exact. She always got up that early, way before her father, because the sooner she could wake up and get dressed and such, the sooner she could get to school. Not that she liked school. No, she hated it with a passion and thought it a pointless waste of time. But, if she was at school, she could not be at home, and at home was where her abusive dad was.
She rolled out of bed and walked over to the window, looking down at the quiet street below.
"Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops
As they're falling tell a story"
The sky was still dark, but Caitie liked it that way. She was nocturnal. The serenity the night time brought had a calming and almost supernatural effect on her. She would have liked nothing more than to live in a land where it was night all the time, where she could sleep outside in the warm air, beneath the twinkling stars, with no one but her boyfriend, Jamie, by her side, free from all the stresses of society, away from her violent father, all the ridiculing teachers and students at school...
"In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me"
She wondered where her mother was, if she was enjoying life without her husband, without her daughter. If only she had taken her with her, that night she left...
Before she knew it, a half an hour had gone by. She hadn't meant to be day dreaming that long. She couldn't waste time if she wanted to make it out of the house before her dad woke up. She quickly changed into a pair of kahkis and a red and black T-shirt, grabbed her school bag, and tip toed down stairs.
Fishing in the back of the kitchen cabinet, she pulled out a poptart and stuffed it into her pocket. She wasn't hungry now, but she could save it for later. She zipped up her school bag and slung it over her shoulder. She was ready. But before she could make it out the door, she heard a sound behind her.
"And where do you think you're going?"
"Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos - Your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I build my own world to escape"
Caitie's heart skipped a beat as, trembling, she slowly turned around. "Uh...Dad..." she stammered in both surprise and dismay.
"Don't 'Dad' me," he snorted, walking down the rest of the stairs, reaching into the refridgerator, and pulling out a bottle of beer. He popped off the top and took a long swig before speaking again. "I know where you were going." Caitie didn't say anything as her dad smirked. "You were going to have sex, weren't you?"
She choked. "What?" Then again, she should have expected something like that from him. More than likely he was probably drunk.
"That's right, you were off to meet some guy somewhere and get laid." He took another drink. "Is that what it takes to get you up in the morning?" He laughed at his own joke and shook his head. "Slut."
Caitie felt herself bristle with anger. "That's not true, I'm not YOU!"
"Oh ho, getting fiesty, are we?" He took five long strides across the kitchen until he was standing within six feet of his daughter. In one quick motion he lashed out, striking Caitie across her right cheek with the back of his hand.
She yelped and lept back a step, clutching her stinging face.
Her father laughed, a low, raspy noise. "Not so tough, are we now?" He finished drinking the beer, then smashed the bottle against the side of the table, right next to Caitie. She inhaled sharply and ran around her dad to the middle of the kitchen, dodging the flying pieces of broken glass. Her actions only brought more twisted amusement to her dad, however.
"Please," Caitie panted, her heart hammering in her chest. "Please, let me go."
"Aha ha ha! What on earth are you talking about? I ain't hanging on to you."
"Then...then I can leave?" She asked, skeptically.
He snorted. "Why should I care? It's no skin off my back if you get knocked up."
She took a hesitant step forward, eyeing him warilly, but her father only crossed his arms over his chest, watching her closely. He was standing between her and the door. If only she had run backwards instead of forwards! She took a step to his left, expecting to walk around him, but he copied her movement, once again standing in front of her. "Please!" she pleaded, but he only shrugged innocently.
"Go ahead, don't let me stop you."
Never taking her eyes off him, she tried stepping to his right, but yet again he followed her suit and did the same. Ok, so he obviously wasn't going to let her go willingly. So, taking a deep breath, she feigned a jump left, and when he moved to block her, she ran. She made it out the door, but not without recieving a painful blow from the broken bottleneck her dad still clutched in his fist.
She staggered backwards into the street, rubbing the side of her head where she had been hit. She looked down at her fingers and wasn't surprized to see that they glistened with warm, sticky blood. "I hate you!" She yeleld to her dad's sillouette still visible in the glass door. "Hear that? I hate you!" Even though she knew he really couldn't care less, it felt good to say it, and with that, she started running.
"In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me"
She ran to the school, which was her original intent anyway, where she could sit and brood under the bleachers for a few hours before class.
She reached the football field and made her way behind the stands, taking a seat in her favourite dark corner. Her head had stopped bleeding, it had been a shallow cut, thank goodness, and she used the back of her hand to rub away the last of the blood. She unzipped her school back and pulled out her compact to see just how bad the wound looked. By the light of the sun which was just peeping out over the horizon, she checked her reflection in the mirror. "Oh, God," she muttered. While the cut was barely noticeable, the flesh around her eye was becoming swollen and turning purple. Obviously the bottle neck had hit her closer to her eye than she had realized. She tried covering it up with make up, but it didn't completely hide it, leaving it still bruitally noticable.
She went back to staring at her reflection, then broke down into tears.
"Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light"
"Why?" She sobbed to herself. "Why me? Why does this always have to happen to ME?! What have I ever done to deserve this?" She rubbed the tears out of her eyes, though they were quickly replaced by more. "I hate the world!" She yelled. "I hate my dad! I hate my life! I hate ME!" She slammed her fist down on her school bag. *I just wish I was dead!* she thought bitterly to herself. "Yes, that's right," she repeated out loud. "I just want to die."
"In my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me"