Yes, I know the last chapter was lame and it had a really pathetic ending, but I was tapped out of ideas. I blame it on not using the Internet for a day…-_-; and yes I lead a very boring life. Anyways, here's the last chapter and enjoy.
Warnings: Akito/Shigure Shounen-ai in this chapter! If this idea seems disturbing to you, then I suggest you shouldn't read the second half of this chapter! (See I'm considerate enough to put up warnings for people). Oh… by the way, Shounen-ai is a slash fic or also known as a Yaoi fic. If you don't know what they are, then…well…they are stories with guy/guy pairings. So if the idea seems disturbing to you, then I suggest you don't read it. (Still… it's a good idea to explain it to people when you put up warnings.) This story has NO LEMON! If you don't know what it is… then I really don't feel comfortable explaining it to you. *Shudders* I remember how I found out what they were… it wasn't the most fond of experiences that I've had.
Chapter 3:
Shigure sighed anxiously, full of dread and unwillingness. He kept reminding himself to calm down and that he'll be fine as he stood outside of Akito's door within the main house. Ha-san's words kept ringing through his mind as he softly knocked on the slightly abandoned door. 'It's strange how nervous one can get when it comes to seeing him. I guess this is what the others must feel every time they were forced here. Then again, I had never been in trouble or had been on Akito's bad side before. It sure is not a positive feeling,' he noted to himself, as he heard a slight ruffle inside the room followed by a low mumble sounded something like a "come in."
Shigure forced his muscles to obey his command, ignoring the protest going on within his mind as best as he could manage. He slowly slid the wooden sliding door open as he made his way inside the room with as less noise as possible, afraid he'll awaken something scary and unpleasant. Similar to the fashion of a person within a fairy tale, who was making his way inside a cave belonging to a sleeping monster. "Akito-san," he greeted politely, kneeling by the door as he bowed to the Master of the Sohmas like he always did.
"Shigure," he answered in an unusually icy tone that sent shivers down his spine, making him feel uncomfortable in more ways than one. Shigure shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling uncharacteristically nervous and guilty, knowing how much he had hurt the younger man if he were to use such a distant tone with him.
"I apologize for not visiting you sooner Akito-san," Shigure apologized, eyeing the floor nervously as if it suddenly became very interesting as he played with the corner of his Kimono with his head bowing low (I forgot what it was called, so let's just say it's a Kimono. You can tell me what its real name is later.)
"I didn't want visitors anyway. I had to think over some 'things'," he replied stubbornly without a hint of emotion as he continued staring out of his window. He was sprawling on the window frame with his arms hanging out into the cold December evening. Akito hasn't made a single movement since Shigure had entered his room. It's quite different from the usual high attitude he always used to impress him when he visited. Shigure noted that as a bad sign in his parts. Just like the warning he gave Tohru earlier of worrying about Yuki and Kyo's health when they're not fighting. This is the same sort of thing in his opinion, a very important one at that.
~He's retreating further into his shell…he's always acting as if he just lost his only will to live for these past few weeks~ Hatori's words rang themselves clearly through his mind as he was struck with sudden realization. 'It wasn't Tohru's words that had gotten to him. It was my actions that made him retrieve deeper within himself,' he stared at Akito shockingly, suddenly frozen on his spot as more of Hatori's words sunk in. ~He acted the same way around me and the others the way he always did. It seemed nothing had changed in some ways that could easily be amiss. But some things had changed about him, but I just can put a finger on it. I'm not talking about him being in his thoughts all the time. That I already had gotten used to, but it's something of a realization in his parts that I haven't realized~
'Now I understand…' he thought to himself with the uttermost fear, 'he had given up on me and in life… he's ceasing his struggle against his fate, he's finally ready to cope with the fear of dying at a young age…and being alone. I feel so helpless. Like I've failed him.'
~You know what the worst thing in life is? ~ I remember Ha-san questioning me. At that time, all I've managed was to shake my head in confusion. He continued in a more serious tone, and I knew he was thinking about Kana as he said those next few words. ~It's not being able to protect the one you care the most about. Not being there when that person needed you the most. The most terrified feeling in the world is when you feel the loss of faith from the heart that believed in you more than anybody had ever dared to try. ~ It was the first and the last time my best friend had ever showed me his true feelings for loosing the one he truly loved. I never knew what he was talking about back then, but now I know, and I agree with Ha-san to the fullest. It is the worst feeling in the world. Worse than the guilt I felt for putting Tohru-kun through all of the pain of seeing Kyo-kun's true form.
I gazed at his weary form by the window as I made a silent promise to him. I will make everything right between us, and I promise I will always be there for you wither if you know it or not.
"I'm sorry…" I apologized, barely louder than a whisper. He turned his head toward me in shock as if he had forgotten I was here. We stayed like this for a few moments before I decided to continue, destroying the silence between us. "I never meant to hurt you or to destroy the friendship between us," I stared onto the ground once more, no longer able to meet his intense gaze, "I'm sorry, for everything. I know I've lost all of the trust you had in me, and I know you'd probably never trust me again, but… I want a second chance from you…please… I promise I would never fail you again. I never meant to hurt you intentionally…I'm sorry. I really am," I no longer had any control over my emotions as my mask, the one I've used to hide myself behind for so many years fell onto the ground. I could only stare at it as it made contact with the wooden floor and shattered into a million pieces just like a glass vase would. By the time I realized what I was doing, tears were already pouring freely out of my eyes without my notice. (Uh…yes this fic is getting too depressing again. Maybe I should lift something to lighten the mood. Popcorns anyone? Cookies?) I bowed my head until it was touching the floor in an attempt to hide my face, hoping he hadn't seen the tears coming out of my eyes, but I knew my hope was in vain, because I could feel the intensity of his stare burning a hole through me.
"You did nothing wrong," I heard his voice once more in an icier tone than the one I was use to as he approached closer. Finally getting away from the window and the cold December wind that followed, "it was I that placed too much hope onto you." My heart seemed to have stopped beating for a split second as I let the sickening feeling wash over me. 'He hates me. He regretted ever caring about me…ever having any feelings for me. Ever getting to know me…'
"Don't be so hard on yourself," he whispered softly into my ears in a gentler tone than the one he was using before, sensing the uneasiness going through me. "Feelings change. I thought you knew that," he paused for a few seconds before pushing my chin up so my eyes were directly facing his. "If it makes you feel any better. I loved you once. Not long ago," his face was side by side with my own now. I could feel his warm cheek touching mine. My tears had stopped pouring somewhere along the way. Now I was feeling uncomfortable being this close to him. I probably would've welcomed the idea of having a flesh-to-flesh contact with him before, but under the circumstances. I'd say this changes the whole perspective.
"I never chose her over you," I started once more, trying my best to explain myself to him, "You know how much you mean to me. I-"
"I thought I did, until recent events." How anybody ever reason with him, I'd never know.
"Akito," I said desperately as I held his face barely an inch away from mine, forcing him to listen, "I love you. What more do you want to hear from me?" I questioned, being as honest as I had ever been with anybody.
"You…what?" he looked puzzled, more confused than I had ever seen him. His eyes were widening from shock, and his features were gentle and fragile, no longer the distant ones that I had seen before. For a split second I swear I saw a hint of warmth within his grey orbs. I now know for a fact that I had gotten through to him.
"I love you Akito," I repeated, a small smile escaping my lips, "I thought you knew that."
"I never-" he started, but I knew what he was going to say and I didn't want to hear it.
"You never thought that anybody could ever love you?" I questioned him, knowing perfectly well what was going through his mind, "you shouldn't let the things others had said before cloud your judgement. You really need to set your expectations higher Akito."
All he managed to do was stare at me in pure shock and confusion as I continued. "I really do care about you wither you know it or not. I would never put anybody before you if I didn't think that it was for the best. I'm sorry I didn't consider your feelings before I made a decision on my own. I really do regret it."
~To be continued~
Yes, you read it right. There's going to be next chapter. I needed sometime to come up with some new ideas. I'll update within the next week. I promise! ~-_-~.
Warnings: Akito/Shigure Shounen-ai in this chapter! If this idea seems disturbing to you, then I suggest you shouldn't read the second half of this chapter! (See I'm considerate enough to put up warnings for people). Oh… by the way, Shounen-ai is a slash fic or also known as a Yaoi fic. If you don't know what they are, then…well…they are stories with guy/guy pairings. So if the idea seems disturbing to you, then I suggest you don't read it. (Still… it's a good idea to explain it to people when you put up warnings.) This story has NO LEMON! If you don't know what it is… then I really don't feel comfortable explaining it to you. *Shudders* I remember how I found out what they were… it wasn't the most fond of experiences that I've had.
Chapter 3:
Shigure sighed anxiously, full of dread and unwillingness. He kept reminding himself to calm down and that he'll be fine as he stood outside of Akito's door within the main house. Ha-san's words kept ringing through his mind as he softly knocked on the slightly abandoned door. 'It's strange how nervous one can get when it comes to seeing him. I guess this is what the others must feel every time they were forced here. Then again, I had never been in trouble or had been on Akito's bad side before. It sure is not a positive feeling,' he noted to himself, as he heard a slight ruffle inside the room followed by a low mumble sounded something like a "come in."
Shigure forced his muscles to obey his command, ignoring the protest going on within his mind as best as he could manage. He slowly slid the wooden sliding door open as he made his way inside the room with as less noise as possible, afraid he'll awaken something scary and unpleasant. Similar to the fashion of a person within a fairy tale, who was making his way inside a cave belonging to a sleeping monster. "Akito-san," he greeted politely, kneeling by the door as he bowed to the Master of the Sohmas like he always did.
"Shigure," he answered in an unusually icy tone that sent shivers down his spine, making him feel uncomfortable in more ways than one. Shigure shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling uncharacteristically nervous and guilty, knowing how much he had hurt the younger man if he were to use such a distant tone with him.
"I apologize for not visiting you sooner Akito-san," Shigure apologized, eyeing the floor nervously as if it suddenly became very interesting as he played with the corner of his Kimono with his head bowing low (I forgot what it was called, so let's just say it's a Kimono. You can tell me what its real name is later.)
"I didn't want visitors anyway. I had to think over some 'things'," he replied stubbornly without a hint of emotion as he continued staring out of his window. He was sprawling on the window frame with his arms hanging out into the cold December evening. Akito hasn't made a single movement since Shigure had entered his room. It's quite different from the usual high attitude he always used to impress him when he visited. Shigure noted that as a bad sign in his parts. Just like the warning he gave Tohru earlier of worrying about Yuki and Kyo's health when they're not fighting. This is the same sort of thing in his opinion, a very important one at that.
~He's retreating further into his shell…he's always acting as if he just lost his only will to live for these past few weeks~ Hatori's words rang themselves clearly through his mind as he was struck with sudden realization. 'It wasn't Tohru's words that had gotten to him. It was my actions that made him retrieve deeper within himself,' he stared at Akito shockingly, suddenly frozen on his spot as more of Hatori's words sunk in. ~He acted the same way around me and the others the way he always did. It seemed nothing had changed in some ways that could easily be amiss. But some things had changed about him, but I just can put a finger on it. I'm not talking about him being in his thoughts all the time. That I already had gotten used to, but it's something of a realization in his parts that I haven't realized~
'Now I understand…' he thought to himself with the uttermost fear, 'he had given up on me and in life… he's ceasing his struggle against his fate, he's finally ready to cope with the fear of dying at a young age…and being alone. I feel so helpless. Like I've failed him.'
~You know what the worst thing in life is? ~ I remember Ha-san questioning me. At that time, all I've managed was to shake my head in confusion. He continued in a more serious tone, and I knew he was thinking about Kana as he said those next few words. ~It's not being able to protect the one you care the most about. Not being there when that person needed you the most. The most terrified feeling in the world is when you feel the loss of faith from the heart that believed in you more than anybody had ever dared to try. ~ It was the first and the last time my best friend had ever showed me his true feelings for loosing the one he truly loved. I never knew what he was talking about back then, but now I know, and I agree with Ha-san to the fullest. It is the worst feeling in the world. Worse than the guilt I felt for putting Tohru-kun through all of the pain of seeing Kyo-kun's true form.
I gazed at his weary form by the window as I made a silent promise to him. I will make everything right between us, and I promise I will always be there for you wither if you know it or not.
"I'm sorry…" I apologized, barely louder than a whisper. He turned his head toward me in shock as if he had forgotten I was here. We stayed like this for a few moments before I decided to continue, destroying the silence between us. "I never meant to hurt you or to destroy the friendship between us," I stared onto the ground once more, no longer able to meet his intense gaze, "I'm sorry, for everything. I know I've lost all of the trust you had in me, and I know you'd probably never trust me again, but… I want a second chance from you…please… I promise I would never fail you again. I never meant to hurt you intentionally…I'm sorry. I really am," I no longer had any control over my emotions as my mask, the one I've used to hide myself behind for so many years fell onto the ground. I could only stare at it as it made contact with the wooden floor and shattered into a million pieces just like a glass vase would. By the time I realized what I was doing, tears were already pouring freely out of my eyes without my notice. (Uh…yes this fic is getting too depressing again. Maybe I should lift something to lighten the mood. Popcorns anyone? Cookies?) I bowed my head until it was touching the floor in an attempt to hide my face, hoping he hadn't seen the tears coming out of my eyes, but I knew my hope was in vain, because I could feel the intensity of his stare burning a hole through me.
"You did nothing wrong," I heard his voice once more in an icier tone than the one I was use to as he approached closer. Finally getting away from the window and the cold December wind that followed, "it was I that placed too much hope onto you." My heart seemed to have stopped beating for a split second as I let the sickening feeling wash over me. 'He hates me. He regretted ever caring about me…ever having any feelings for me. Ever getting to know me…'
"Don't be so hard on yourself," he whispered softly into my ears in a gentler tone than the one he was using before, sensing the uneasiness going through me. "Feelings change. I thought you knew that," he paused for a few seconds before pushing my chin up so my eyes were directly facing his. "If it makes you feel any better. I loved you once. Not long ago," his face was side by side with my own now. I could feel his warm cheek touching mine. My tears had stopped pouring somewhere along the way. Now I was feeling uncomfortable being this close to him. I probably would've welcomed the idea of having a flesh-to-flesh contact with him before, but under the circumstances. I'd say this changes the whole perspective.
"I never chose her over you," I started once more, trying my best to explain myself to him, "You know how much you mean to me. I-"
"I thought I did, until recent events." How anybody ever reason with him, I'd never know.
"Akito," I said desperately as I held his face barely an inch away from mine, forcing him to listen, "I love you. What more do you want to hear from me?" I questioned, being as honest as I had ever been with anybody.
"You…what?" he looked puzzled, more confused than I had ever seen him. His eyes were widening from shock, and his features were gentle and fragile, no longer the distant ones that I had seen before. For a split second I swear I saw a hint of warmth within his grey orbs. I now know for a fact that I had gotten through to him.
"I love you Akito," I repeated, a small smile escaping my lips, "I thought you knew that."
"I never-" he started, but I knew what he was going to say and I didn't want to hear it.
"You never thought that anybody could ever love you?" I questioned him, knowing perfectly well what was going through his mind, "you shouldn't let the things others had said before cloud your judgement. You really need to set your expectations higher Akito."
All he managed to do was stare at me in pure shock and confusion as I continued. "I really do care about you wither you know it or not. I would never put anybody before you if I didn't think that it was for the best. I'm sorry I didn't consider your feelings before I made a decision on my own. I really do regret it."
~To be continued~
Yes, you read it right. There's going to be next chapter. I needed sometime to come up with some new ideas. I'll update within the next week. I promise! ~-_-~.