I'm only writing this because it's a dare from a friend of mine, and the fact that I was a little curious of why Shigure wasn't afraid of Akito. I needed an answer, and there wasn't one out, so I decided to make one my self. It doesn't matter to me if it makes sense or not. I'm just doing what I like, and that is writing, and getting on my friend's nerves to prove to her I'm not afraid of writing a slash fic, so HA! Anyways, enjoy… if you can. The first chapter will be told from Akito's point of view. Probably will contain a lot of thoughts.
~Betrayal~
Summary: Shigure had always been closer to the Sohma master than any other. After the final incident with Tohru, how will Akito feel about Shigure? Will he take it as a betrayal from the only person who tried to understand him and his pains? Shounen-ai
Warning: Akito/Shigure Shounen-ai in later chapters!
Prologue
~I was a child born to die. My parents had given up on me when I was born. They knew they'd lose me eventually, so there was no point in loving me, I'd only cause them pain. I can barely remember them, being sent to the main house and forced to live with other cursed members of the family when I was 4. My foster family didn't love me either, they were too afraid to get to know me, because of my power over them and the entire Jyuunishi family. To tell you the truth, I hated them, all of them for this! It was their fault that I was born with the curse! It was their fault that my parents didn't want me! It was their fault that everybody was afraid of me! It's their fault that I'm alone…
Sometimes I wonder if my life really ended when I was born. The past 18 years is not exactly what I'd call living, being stuck in a dark room without anybody beside my birds for company. I guess I shouldn't complain, at least they love me and aren't afraid of me. Of course I get visitors, not many willing ones though. Shigure was the only person who'd ever come without me actually ordering them too. Come to think of it, he was the only person who ever tried to understand me and opened up to me. He used to always play with me when we were kids, and kept me company when I was sick. Sometimes I think he's the only person who ever truly cared for me, thus the only person I ever cared for in return. Now you can see what an important person Shigure was for me. But that's all in the past. I realized that little Honda girl took him away from my side after our 'little' incident. Now I really, officially hate every single member of the Sohmas, including myself. What is there to love about my life, and me? ~
I forced myself to snap out of my thought as I slowly got up from the small corner of my room, making my way to the window. It's snowing again, it just surprises me how fast weathers can change and how fast time can fly by. It still feels like yesterday when I had my first encounter with the little girl after she saw the Outsider Cat's True Form, but in reality it has been 2 months. I reached my hand past the window, as a fragile snowflake landed on there. It melted instantly, as I stared at the small drop of water on my hand, where it had been a second before. All of their lives are in my hands, just as this snowflake was, I can do anything I wish to them; they own me their lives.
I couldn't help myself as my thoughts drifted back onto the last time I saw Shigure and Yuki, not to mention that pathetic little Honda girl. That'll be one memory I'll never forget. I don't think I'll ever understand what she said to me, not that I have the energy to try.
Chapter 1: Flash Back to the Incident From Akito's Point of View
It was a cold October morning; I rested myself against the wooden floor of the open porch. Hatori warned me not to do that before. He didn't think it would be too good for my health. Like he really cared… I knew he resented me, even if he didn't show it. He was intimidated by me, just like any other member of my family. What he didn't know was that I was only trying to protect him. I didn't want him to get hurt. Outsiders didn't know our way of things; they can only bring us pain. Remember my parents? Even if they didn't know it, they hurt me more than anybody could ever imagine. Speaking of outsiders, that remind me that idiot Honda Tohru is coming, along with my faithful ally Shigure, and my cute little Yuki.
I really hate that pitiful girl! What does she know about our family and our pain? What right does she have to come and change the way things had been for hundreds of years? NONE, that's the answer! My family had been mine and mine only for the past 18 years, she just stumbles across us and they start disobeying and falling apart from me. I can't risk loosing them! They're the only family I have!
I clinched my teeth as I finally decided; I'll do anything to chase that little pathetic girl away, even erasing her memory if I have to. I don't want any of my family to get hurt, and suffer what I had been through. Being disowned and cast away, because of the way I am. I slowly ran my index finger across the wooden floor, making scratch noises as I heard the rustling from the sliding door followed by more than 3 different pairs of footsteps. I guess Hatori had decided to stay for the show. Probably to make sure he's here to tend them if they get hurt. Pitiful, all of them are.
I ignored them, and continued to stare out into the garden for another 10 minutes before I finally decided to speak. "You've got a lot of nerve," I said to her without even making a single movement, "Why did you come?" I ran my finger across the floor once more. I could feel the atmosphere tense by my every movement, "Tell me, I won't get angry. "
"I don't know," was her reply, certainly not what I was expecting. I could feel my body getting heavier by the sound of her voice, and her careless words. What kind of nerve does she have to come to my house without anything important to talk about? I made a swift movement to stand up, as I walked closer to her, pulling my kimono to where they were suppose to be. I knew my anger was on the edge of exploding as I stood in front of her, and saw the worried expression on Yuki's, Hatori's, and even Shigure's face. Before I knew it, my hand was tangled in her hair, and I was struggling to pull her down. The next thing I knew, I was held back by Shigure, and Yuki.
Out of everything I've been through in life, this is the absolute worst moment. I would've never thought Shigure would betray me for this outsider, after all of our years of friendship or as I thought. I guess I just didn't mean as much I thought I meant to him. This only made me angrier as I yelled at the girl kneeled in front of me, "It's not that you don't know, you just can't say it! So I'll tell you. I want to live there happily with everyone, is that it?" I questioned threateningly, loosing the only thread of control I had on my anger, "Unforgivable! I'll make you regret getting involved with us! Suffer, you'll suffer as well!" I could feel myself struggle against the hold Shigure, and Yuki had on me, but I knew I would never get free.
"I'll wear you down and make you kneel before me!" I shouted, pushing her head further down, "All of you listen. You can't leave the Sohma, you can't oppose me!" I finally got the words out of my mouth, the ones that I've been afraid to admit, but somehow it wasn't making me feel any better as I looked down at Shigure on my right side and then at Yuki on my left. It just made me feel more like I'm going to loose them, and never seeing them again.
I heard a soft whimper from the outsider, as a small smile of satisfaction escaped from my lips. "Now say you're sorry," I whispered softly, a little of my rage was now disappearing, "and never get involved with us again."
But once more, her reply was not what I was expecting, "it must be painful Akito-san," she whispered softly, "to be surrounded by death since you were born. It must have been so-"
"What! What do you understand?!" I yelled at her with all my worth and the anger I've gathered over the years.
"Yes, but its fear I can't imagine," she continued, not even a bit affected by my outburst, "scared. Shigure-san, Yuki-kun, and Kyo-kun must be scared, even Hatori-san. They will be sad if you pass away. It will be incredibly sad."
I was now struggling with my feelings, the ones I've hidden and tried to ignore, but now they're coming out, and there's nothing I could do to stop it, "Who is sad? Everyone owns me their lives. They must want me to go as soon as possible," I finally managed to say, after trying to deny that for the past 10 years, "I was born to die. That's how it is."
"Why? Who decided that?" She questioned, tears pouring out of her innocent green eyes, "Akito-san aren't you alive right now?"
"Living. Are you telling me this is living?" I snapped, "That's… that's just how it is. I've never asked for this!" I mustered all of my strength to say those last few words. I could hear everybody gasp in shock. How selfish could they be to think I enjoy being locked up in a room for their worthless cause? Don't they think I'd rather live a normal life just like them!
"I…I didn't know when my mother died-" the outsider continued.
But I can't take it anymore; I can't take anymore of this. "Silence! Don't speak!" I demanded, "Hatori! Erase this woman's memory right now!" this was my worst-case scenario and it seemed to be a good time to use it. But once more, something unexpected happened. Hatori disobeyed me, for the first time in his life. It's true… this outsider is turning my family, my only family against me.
"I wanted her to live forever," she continued in her soft tone, "I wanted her to see me."
"Don't cry…stop it…don't cry!" I demanded with the last of my strength.
"I don't know much about the curse…but I'm glad I've met you Akito-san," she said it determiningly in her soft voice once more, "I'll never regret meeting any of you." She looked me in the eyes as she said those last few words, and somehow, I believed her. "Tell me more about your feelings. It's all right if you get angry. Even though it might be hard. Your feelings…you are alive."
I couldn't help but gasp at her… how can a girl, an outsider get through to me like this? I could feel my anger slipping away. I don't know how or why. I gently loosened the grip I had on her hair. I didn't know if it was out of confusion, sympathy, or understanding…but I could feel my hands untangling themselves from her brown locks. I used the last bit of rage I had to push Shigure and Yuki onto the floor. It was what they deserved for disobeying me! I slowly made my way back against the wall in the back of my room. I didn't have to see, I could feel all of their eyes on me, and they wanted an answer. "I don't understand," was my only reply before I drifted back into another deep thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~
So how was it? I promise I'll write the next chapter with a little Shounen-ai. It's going to be a three chaptered story. The first one from Akito's point of view, the second one from Shigure's point of view, and the last one would be from the normal point of view along with mixed thoughts/feelings. Please read and review if you want me to update by the end of this year!
I wrote the 1st chapte like this because, i really believe Akito's a good person deep down inside. Just disunderstood that's all.
~Betrayal~
Summary: Shigure had always been closer to the Sohma master than any other. After the final incident with Tohru, how will Akito feel about Shigure? Will he take it as a betrayal from the only person who tried to understand him and his pains? Shounen-ai
Warning: Akito/Shigure Shounen-ai in later chapters!
Prologue
~I was a child born to die. My parents had given up on me when I was born. They knew they'd lose me eventually, so there was no point in loving me, I'd only cause them pain. I can barely remember them, being sent to the main house and forced to live with other cursed members of the family when I was 4. My foster family didn't love me either, they were too afraid to get to know me, because of my power over them and the entire Jyuunishi family. To tell you the truth, I hated them, all of them for this! It was their fault that I was born with the curse! It was their fault that my parents didn't want me! It was their fault that everybody was afraid of me! It's their fault that I'm alone…
Sometimes I wonder if my life really ended when I was born. The past 18 years is not exactly what I'd call living, being stuck in a dark room without anybody beside my birds for company. I guess I shouldn't complain, at least they love me and aren't afraid of me. Of course I get visitors, not many willing ones though. Shigure was the only person who'd ever come without me actually ordering them too. Come to think of it, he was the only person who ever tried to understand me and opened up to me. He used to always play with me when we were kids, and kept me company when I was sick. Sometimes I think he's the only person who ever truly cared for me, thus the only person I ever cared for in return. Now you can see what an important person Shigure was for me. But that's all in the past. I realized that little Honda girl took him away from my side after our 'little' incident. Now I really, officially hate every single member of the Sohmas, including myself. What is there to love about my life, and me? ~
I forced myself to snap out of my thought as I slowly got up from the small corner of my room, making my way to the window. It's snowing again, it just surprises me how fast weathers can change and how fast time can fly by. It still feels like yesterday when I had my first encounter with the little girl after she saw the Outsider Cat's True Form, but in reality it has been 2 months. I reached my hand past the window, as a fragile snowflake landed on there. It melted instantly, as I stared at the small drop of water on my hand, where it had been a second before. All of their lives are in my hands, just as this snowflake was, I can do anything I wish to them; they own me their lives.
I couldn't help myself as my thoughts drifted back onto the last time I saw Shigure and Yuki, not to mention that pathetic little Honda girl. That'll be one memory I'll never forget. I don't think I'll ever understand what she said to me, not that I have the energy to try.
Chapter 1: Flash Back to the Incident From Akito's Point of View
It was a cold October morning; I rested myself against the wooden floor of the open porch. Hatori warned me not to do that before. He didn't think it would be too good for my health. Like he really cared… I knew he resented me, even if he didn't show it. He was intimidated by me, just like any other member of my family. What he didn't know was that I was only trying to protect him. I didn't want him to get hurt. Outsiders didn't know our way of things; they can only bring us pain. Remember my parents? Even if they didn't know it, they hurt me more than anybody could ever imagine. Speaking of outsiders, that remind me that idiot Honda Tohru is coming, along with my faithful ally Shigure, and my cute little Yuki.
I really hate that pitiful girl! What does she know about our family and our pain? What right does she have to come and change the way things had been for hundreds of years? NONE, that's the answer! My family had been mine and mine only for the past 18 years, she just stumbles across us and they start disobeying and falling apart from me. I can't risk loosing them! They're the only family I have!
I clinched my teeth as I finally decided; I'll do anything to chase that little pathetic girl away, even erasing her memory if I have to. I don't want any of my family to get hurt, and suffer what I had been through. Being disowned and cast away, because of the way I am. I slowly ran my index finger across the wooden floor, making scratch noises as I heard the rustling from the sliding door followed by more than 3 different pairs of footsteps. I guess Hatori had decided to stay for the show. Probably to make sure he's here to tend them if they get hurt. Pitiful, all of them are.
I ignored them, and continued to stare out into the garden for another 10 minutes before I finally decided to speak. "You've got a lot of nerve," I said to her without even making a single movement, "Why did you come?" I ran my finger across the floor once more. I could feel the atmosphere tense by my every movement, "Tell me, I won't get angry. "
"I don't know," was her reply, certainly not what I was expecting. I could feel my body getting heavier by the sound of her voice, and her careless words. What kind of nerve does she have to come to my house without anything important to talk about? I made a swift movement to stand up, as I walked closer to her, pulling my kimono to where they were suppose to be. I knew my anger was on the edge of exploding as I stood in front of her, and saw the worried expression on Yuki's, Hatori's, and even Shigure's face. Before I knew it, my hand was tangled in her hair, and I was struggling to pull her down. The next thing I knew, I was held back by Shigure, and Yuki.
Out of everything I've been through in life, this is the absolute worst moment. I would've never thought Shigure would betray me for this outsider, after all of our years of friendship or as I thought. I guess I just didn't mean as much I thought I meant to him. This only made me angrier as I yelled at the girl kneeled in front of me, "It's not that you don't know, you just can't say it! So I'll tell you. I want to live there happily with everyone, is that it?" I questioned threateningly, loosing the only thread of control I had on my anger, "Unforgivable! I'll make you regret getting involved with us! Suffer, you'll suffer as well!" I could feel myself struggle against the hold Shigure, and Yuki had on me, but I knew I would never get free.
"I'll wear you down and make you kneel before me!" I shouted, pushing her head further down, "All of you listen. You can't leave the Sohma, you can't oppose me!" I finally got the words out of my mouth, the ones that I've been afraid to admit, but somehow it wasn't making me feel any better as I looked down at Shigure on my right side and then at Yuki on my left. It just made me feel more like I'm going to loose them, and never seeing them again.
I heard a soft whimper from the outsider, as a small smile of satisfaction escaped from my lips. "Now say you're sorry," I whispered softly, a little of my rage was now disappearing, "and never get involved with us again."
But once more, her reply was not what I was expecting, "it must be painful Akito-san," she whispered softly, "to be surrounded by death since you were born. It must have been so-"
"What! What do you understand?!" I yelled at her with all my worth and the anger I've gathered over the years.
"Yes, but its fear I can't imagine," she continued, not even a bit affected by my outburst, "scared. Shigure-san, Yuki-kun, and Kyo-kun must be scared, even Hatori-san. They will be sad if you pass away. It will be incredibly sad."
I was now struggling with my feelings, the ones I've hidden and tried to ignore, but now they're coming out, and there's nothing I could do to stop it, "Who is sad? Everyone owns me their lives. They must want me to go as soon as possible," I finally managed to say, after trying to deny that for the past 10 years, "I was born to die. That's how it is."
"Why? Who decided that?" She questioned, tears pouring out of her innocent green eyes, "Akito-san aren't you alive right now?"
"Living. Are you telling me this is living?" I snapped, "That's… that's just how it is. I've never asked for this!" I mustered all of my strength to say those last few words. I could hear everybody gasp in shock. How selfish could they be to think I enjoy being locked up in a room for their worthless cause? Don't they think I'd rather live a normal life just like them!
"I…I didn't know when my mother died-" the outsider continued.
But I can't take it anymore; I can't take anymore of this. "Silence! Don't speak!" I demanded, "Hatori! Erase this woman's memory right now!" this was my worst-case scenario and it seemed to be a good time to use it. But once more, something unexpected happened. Hatori disobeyed me, for the first time in his life. It's true… this outsider is turning my family, my only family against me.
"I wanted her to live forever," she continued in her soft tone, "I wanted her to see me."
"Don't cry…stop it…don't cry!" I demanded with the last of my strength.
"I don't know much about the curse…but I'm glad I've met you Akito-san," she said it determiningly in her soft voice once more, "I'll never regret meeting any of you." She looked me in the eyes as she said those last few words, and somehow, I believed her. "Tell me more about your feelings. It's all right if you get angry. Even though it might be hard. Your feelings…you are alive."
I couldn't help but gasp at her… how can a girl, an outsider get through to me like this? I could feel my anger slipping away. I don't know how or why. I gently loosened the grip I had on her hair. I didn't know if it was out of confusion, sympathy, or understanding…but I could feel my hands untangling themselves from her brown locks. I used the last bit of rage I had to push Shigure and Yuki onto the floor. It was what they deserved for disobeying me! I slowly made my way back against the wall in the back of my room. I didn't have to see, I could feel all of their eyes on me, and they wanted an answer. "I don't understand," was my only reply before I drifted back into another deep thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~
So how was it? I promise I'll write the next chapter with a little Shounen-ai. It's going to be a three chaptered story. The first one from Akito's point of view, the second one from Shigure's point of view, and the last one would be from the normal point of view along with mixed thoughts/feelings. Please read and review if you want me to update by the end of this year!
I wrote the 1st chapte like this because, i really believe Akito's a good person deep down inside. Just disunderstood that's all.