Ray

光

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Matsushita Yoko ©. The fanfiction belongs to me.

Warning: Yaoi and a strange pairing, please don't read if you don't like this.

Plot Cockroach (a.k.a very long speech): *Smiles* I'm back, the strange guy who writes weird pairings, and I'm haunting this fandom, heh, heh, heh! To be truthful, this fandom is very interesting; there are a lot of pairings that can be written – well, it's quite versatile the way I look at it. (It's not like I look at things objectively anyway – I support weird pairings usually.) But to do so I have to be brave, I hope to capture what fans usually fail at – so I'll need your help and kindness to pull this through! ^__^

If you say that Hakushaku x Tsuzuki was the most difficult pairing I've ever written, it's only half true now that I look back at it. Hakushaku had already lust for our favorite Shinigami to start with. But Terazuma and Tsuzuki are literally rivaling enemies in a sense. Imagine, Tsuzuki saying nasty stuff about another person?? Dude, that's gotta be over-generated animosity in my opinion. And not only that – I sincerely have trouble with these two. Terazuma-kun is an asexual (yes, a man HAS got to have a way to relief himself), intelligent, shape-shifting freak and Tsuzuki-san is a bumbling, murdering idiot with an angel's heart. (Sorry if I sound catty, but I needed to size these two up…) But I'll try – this is one of the pairings I've yet to see written and this sounds like a job for Windy!

Summary: Terazuma Hajime believes that with power comes a great sense of stability and direction. In his eyes, Tsuzuki isn't fitting of that power. Yet, seeing your rival washed by the rays of the sun through your window can change opinions…

Pairing: Terazuma x Tsuzuki

Note: Manga verse.

_________________

The sun was riding high in the sky. Lazing around, smoking, doing nothing.

It was a typical day in a typical office.

Terazuma Hajime yawned loudly, stretching, his cigarette miraculously still set on well in his mouth. It was boring… he truly would like some action that involved his undying combat, man-of-arms skills, but beating the Kanagawa sisters would have to wait a year more.

"Pesky little witches," he mumbled to himself discontentedly. He smirked as a sudden thought crossed his mind. "Well, at least that dimwit Asato didn't get his paid vacation. Talk about tough luck."

Hajime's intense disapproval of Asato Tsuzuki didn't really have much to do with Tsuzuki's skill level. It was more of a cold war than anything else. Asato Tsuzuki may be powerful, but as far as Terazuma Hajime could see, he hadn't proved it well. While a normal Shinigami was only able to summon three to four of those beasts, as he did, Tsuzuki was probably stated and seated high amongst the special. That notion never satisfied him.

He believed that with power, came a great responsibility and honor – that of being stable and strong in sense of direction, not compassion. Shinigami were trained to kill, and there would always be bloodshed, somehow, someway. Tsuzuki was tender and eager to please – so much that it left Hajime disgusted.

Beneath all that, he was jealous.

As far as he was concerned, Tsuzuki had never proved himself worthy of that power. Fighting for someone else… that was a complete waste of time. Now, take his partner, Hisoka. Though young and broken, that kid had spirit. He had a fire of empty hatred and desire of revenge in him. Now that – that spirit - was truly a man's. That was truly Shinigami.

Hajime smacked his head. Just great! He'd gone from the Kanagawa sisters to Asato Tsuzuki and then to Hisoka.

Boredom did things to people.

"I need a real job," the man grumbled. Lightly, the idea of annoying the hell out of Tsuzuki ran through his head, and he smirked. "Nah. A real job."

He'd probably get annoyed himself first anyway. Tsuzuki was usually too dense to sense much animosity.

Thinking of him again? Hajime screwed his nose. Really, anyone would have thought he had an obsession for his senior colleague. And dear god, how he hated this guy.

Shaking his head, he glanced out of the window. And stared.

The sun was streaming in through the window, almost blinding his vision with light, but what he saw was evident. It was different, somehow, this image…

Tsuzuki stared off into the horizon, distant, yet intensely fierce. It hurt – it truly did. Everything had to happen to him. All Tsuzuki wanted was an easy time, where he could be lazy, be happy with his friends, as he never really did have a good time as a living, breathing human being. It wasn't fair… how people had to suffer in the hands of others.

How they had to suffer in these… hands of his… and how they had to die.

He hated himself. He hated… hated what he was, with a passion. He hated his power. He hated the pain and anguish it caused others, and how it nearly caused the very people he loved…

If they had died that day, could he have forgiven himself?

To be sought after, even by demons. Yes, Tsuzuki hated his power. It came with really heavy responsibilities, and with it, serious repercussions. But he also knew that he would never be able to live without it.

"Hey."

Tsuzuki choked back a sob just in time. Steeling himself, he turned to face the intruder of his private space. "What do you want?"

"I saw you reflecting alone, Tsuzuki-san," the man made his way casually to the railings, leaning against it and puffing out smoke to the air. It didn't even cross his mind to apologize.

"Everyone needs time off, Hajime-chan," Tsuzuki replied just as sweetly. The other man frowned.

"This is how you thank a fellow colleague for offering you some company?"

"I didn't ask for company," Tsuzuki ground out, a little annoyed. Little Hajime-chan always seemed to annoy him. Why was Hajime-chan so annoying? "Geez, remind me never to have kids."

"What's that?"

"Nothing."

"Ch. Such childish insensitivity." Hajime couldn't resist a dig at his rival. At that, Tsuzuki turned on him, his violet eyes flashing fire. Hajime paled a little. It was obvious now that it wasn't such a good idea to annoy Tsuzuki on one of his bad days. While he was usually sweet tempered, his bad days proved to be worse than a woman's pre-menstrual, vase-tossing days.

Tell this to a man who hated women.

"Who are you calling childish?" Tsuzuki snarled, his mood changing abruptly like the wind. But taken aback as he was, Hajime stood to his principles – he was truly man. He was an honorable Shinigami. A fellow Shinigami who'd seen worse days and would probably be a century old by his next birthday didn't scare him.

…Well, maybe a little.

But this time, Tsuzuki painted a different picture than he did usually, embedding it deep in Hajime's mind. His wine colored eyes were by now truly alight, not with his usual sparkle of good humor or that childish indignant spirit Hajime often observed… and though he hadn't admitted it, he enjoyed seeing Tsuzuki's exasperation… yet this time, it was different. For the first time of his life, Terazuma Hajime felt intimidated by the kindly Shinigami they had always taken for granted.

That swirl of bitterness, self-hate, melancholy, so thickly entwined in those depthless gems he had for eyes, it made Hajime's head ache.

He had failed to remember that even though he had contempt for Tsuzuki, and even though he looked down on Tsuzuki's disposition, and even though everyone in Enmacho took him for granted, Asato Tsuzuki had enough power to squash the whole of Enmacho like a bug under his boot. And wipe it against the ground to clean it out.

If he'd just wanted to, he could.

The sun shone warmly against their skin, but Hajime felt a chill creep up his spine. With it came a little awe, and also respect. Terazuma Hajime had finally seen the other side of the moon.

But only for a moment. In a flash, it was over.

Tsuzuki closed his eyes and pulled back, stumbling to get away. He wrapped his arms round himself for support, casting his eyes to the ground. Even in the heat of summer, he shivered. In fact, it seemed to Hajime that he was hyperventilating. "…I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry…!"

"No, Tsuzuki, wait…" he reached out to touch the other man. He didn't know why; he never usually did this, but something compelled him to. It hadn't even crossed his mind to shift his shape while being confronted by something so terrifying as a destructive Tsuzuki, but he had to… just reach forward.

"Stay away! S-Stay away from me!"

As he did before, Tsuzuki started towards the opposite direction, taking stumbling steps as his first guide. One, two, three steps, a fourth… fifth… Tsuzuki fled the scene, a streak of black against the pinkish-lavender of Enmacho's everlasting blossoms.

And as for Terazuma Hajime, he stood rooted to the spot, the cherry blossoms swirling round his frame.

His conscience was screaming loudly, madly, so much that he thought that he would go insane, yet again for the first time of his life, to give chase, but his legs felt like Purin left out too long to soak in milk. And as for his heart…

And as for his heart…

It was raining. The drops splattered against the glass pane of his window overlooking the building's ever bloom, and Terazuma Hajime cast his glance towards the railings where he had stood just that afternoon. Amethyst eyes had flashed brilliantly, fiercely… and then died away. That flame had suddenly been snuffed out, just as the moth had come close enough to get its wings burnt.

He sighed; his head was hurting, and that spot remained unoccupied. He also knew of the growing concern of his workmates.

Tsuzuki hadn't returned to the office yet.

Hajime now truly understood that day's message to him, and how deceived he had been when he had first started out on his jealousy spree. With great power came great expectations, and with great expectations came great responsibility. In certain incidents, greed also took over. There would also come a time where it would be impossible to love it, but you will never be able to break free of its grasp. To keep balanced was an easy oath – to speak, not keep.

And where it mattered an obsession, had finally turned to respect, and… infatuation. In due time, things might change, or things might not, but for now, things remained the same. He hated women. He hated men. But he loved power, and this power now had a name. It was beautiful, and yet really painful.

Terazuma Hajime removed his glance from the spot, bringing it to rest upon his work desk. A speck of light, a ray of the sun that had witnessed that incident, gleamed upon the tabletop.

~*~ おわり ~*~

Note: Wow… now this was messed up. I really do enjoy making Tsuzuki suffer, don't I? Well, here's the moral of the story: Do not EVER annoy Tsuzuki when he's in the middle of some Windy-induced self-loathing angst.

I think this came out more twisted than I originally intended it to. It was supposed to be sweet, but I somehow... made it twisted. I'm sorry, Hajime fans! ;_; I know, making Hajime-kun love Tsuzuki just because it's power, it's such a cold and unromantic thing... and I'm supposed to be a true ladies' man, knowing what captivates their heart so! Lovely ladies! Please forgive the baka worm Windy!

Yeah, so I don't know what makes women mad during PMS. I just get told about it often, as well as being advised to keep out of their way during that duration, and seriously, having a mother who goes through it occasionally isn't a very nice experience. So she nearly killed me with an unidentified flying object once, but hey, I won't say that I didn't deserve it. I was a brat. (^^;)

Anyway, thanks for your support if you read till this line. Tell me if there's a weird pairing (or a canon one that you really like - if you're nice to Windy then Windy will try to write it if he can) out there, I might just look into it!