Hi, this is EK. Some of you might know me from the RK and Vandread sections. ^_^
This craziness is dedicated to the SD-6, who keep telling me to watch Meteor Garden, and to Dencar, who keeps me watching Gundam Wing. This is not intended to be taken seriously. For goodness' sakes, even I don't understand what the lyrics are. Unfortunately I couldn't find English translations. ^_^ So I hope you like this one-shot. If I made any mistakes in characterization, please tell me, and I apologize.
At any rate, the title is "Wo Jue Bu Neng Shi Qu Ni" or "Can't Lose You", the famous Oh Baby Baby song, and it was sung by F4.
…………………..
"Why are you making us chant this?" Quatre looked up from an official sheet of paper, and quizzically at Wu Fei.
"To clarify, he is making us SING this gibberish," Trowa had also looked up at his sheet of paper.
It was one of those rare occasions when all five young gentlemen gathered together in one place to discuss a mission. And what a mission it would be. Duo was staring down his paper with gaping eyes, while Heero smirked at it. Wu Fei, white Chinese suit and dead serious demeanor intact, began to discuss the mission.
"This is the situation. We all have to be present in tomorrow's royal banquet. All the heads of the colonies and nations will be there. It will be a perfect opportunity to bug the Alliance, to see what they really have in mind."
"Why can't we just hide ourselves in the crowd?" Heero asked.
"Because the guards fully expect us to be in the crowd, and they would all be looking for us. The back doors, where celebrities enter, however, will not be as closely guarded."
"Are you sure? Aren't celebrity entrances usually the most heavily guarded areas?" Trowa countered.
"Not in this case, when the people on the floor are more important than the people on stage."
"So you're saying, we'll make ourselves so obvious they won't bother to notice us," Duo restated.
"Correct."
"So why are we supposed to sing?" Quatre asked again.
"We do have to prove the reason why we used the celebrity entrances, yes?" He took out a small disk. "You yourselves don't have to sing per se; you only need to lip-synch to this disk, which will be programmed into the sound system, which, by the way----"
"I have to place in the system for you," Heero completed.
"What about you?" Duo asked Wu Fei. "What will YOU do?"
"I'll be your manager."
"WHAT?" Duo exclaimed.
"Of course; I'm the only one among us who can fluently speak Chinese. It will save you from having to talk to dignitaries."
"You just don't want to sing," Heero said flatly.
The "manager" fumed for a few seconds.
"But why does it have to be Chinese?" Quatre asked, in efforts to lower the rising temperature.
"You're slated as the representatives from New China."
"You mean, you already booked us?" Trowa was slightly flustered. Heero harrumphed and turned his back on the four.
"But we don't look Chinese at all!" Duo exclaimed.
"People take that for granted when you're famous," Trowa explained. "A few changes, and some good disguises, it's easily settled."
"OK, so we're sold, and there's no turning back on this mission," Duo sighed. "What now, manager?"
"Stand in a line. And try to follow the lines as you hear them sung." He slid the disk into a laptop, and waited for the music to blare through the speakers.
The G4 complied. They looked at the papers again. Beside the succeeding three lines, Wu Fei had scribbled Duo's name.
(Jerry)
Mei You Ni Wo Hui Shi Shui
Xin Ting Zai Na Li Dou Bu Dui
Na Jin Tian Ca Diao Zuo Tian Kong Bai Yi Pian
To the next three lines, Heero was scribbled. He virtually let the music and the singing pass by without opening his mouth.
(Vic)
Na Yi Tian Zai Na Yi Tian
Ke Yi Ji Xu Wei Wan Qing Jie
Zai Zhe Jiao Cha Dian Shui Pei Zai Ni Shen Bian
To the succeeding, Trowa.
(Ken)
Jiu Suan Quan Shi Jie Dou Yao Ba Ni Fou Ding
Ye Bu Neng Rang Wo Fang Qi Ni
And to the last line before the chorus, Quatre.
(Vanness)
Jiu Suan Wo Men De Guo Qu Dou Mei You Le Zhen Ming
(all four)
Wo Yi Rang Shou Hu Ni
"Cut the music," Trowa suddenly ordered, and addressed Wu Fei. "Who are these people, Jerry, Vic, Ken, and Vanness?"
"Those are your celebrity names for this performance, the names you are going to give if anyone asks you questions. Now that is settled, you four have to sing together in the chorus. Oh, and I forgot……."
Wu Fei opened a small case, and tossed a small electronic gadget to each of the four gentlemen. "Strap them to your wrists. During the performance, you will try to take pictures of the audience, in this manner." He demonstrated by holding his hand at arm's length before his face, and sweeping back and forth.
"Now, to look as if it is part of the act, you have to put a little style into it." He curled one hand into a fist as if he were holding a microphone. He kept the other hand outstretched. He then closed his eyes, and made a dramatic show of singing from the heart, while keeping the hand with the camera facing in front.
Duo and Quatre sweatdropped. "I never thought I would see THAT in my lifetime," the former chuckled.
"Now try it," the manager ordered.
Oh Baby Baby Baby
My Baby Baby
Wo Jue Bu Neng Shi Qu Ni
Ni Shou Xin Ni Sheng Ying
Hai Zhan Lin Wo De Xin Zen Neng Wang Ji
Xiang Ni Jiu Xiang Shi Hu Xi
"Cut," the manager said. "A little more feeling, Heero."
"You are asking HEERO to have a little more feeling?!" Trowa smirked.
"Be that as it may; Heero has to play the part. It will only be five minutes, anyway."
Heero sighed.
Duo and Trowa were having an easier time of it, working an imaginary audience despite the difficulty in mouthing the words correctly. Quatre, on the other hand, smiled in all the wrong places and was definitely out of synch with the music.
Oh Baby Baby
My Baby Baby
Wo Jue Bu Neng Shi Qu Ni
Bu Guan Ni Zai Na Li
Wo Yi Ding Hui Zhao Dao Ni
A few more practices got out the kinks in their routine. But who could blame the G4 if they practically ignored their manager that evening?
The royal banquet day arrived. Each of the colonies gave a small representation of their best talent. One colony presented an opera piece, another a traditional dance. One Earth nation's representative played a short piano concerto.
"Heero, Relena is here," Duo tapped him on the shoulder.
Heero did not reply. He quietly disappeared, and went toward the audio room.
It is hard to stay inconspicuous when virtually the entire solar system knows your face. But Wu Fei managed to pull it off. Partly by ensuring that he did majority of the talking, and partly by ensuring his "celebrities" stayed backstage as long as possible.
"Is Heero back?" the manager asked anxiously from the side of the stage.
"Lookin' for me?" He was dressed, and ready to go.
The curtain rose.
The dignified audience was shown four microphones, and behind the four microphones, four well-dressed young gentlemen.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the pride of New China, the Gorgeous Four."
"Gorgeous Four?!" Duo hissed under his breath. "How cheesy can that guy get?!"
"What are you complaining about?" Quatre muttered back. "You were just called gorgeous!"
The braided one cringed in response.
"It's better than being called the Flower Four……." Heero added.
"Remember the mission," Trowa whispered. "Get a good shot of the entire audience."
"If we can manage to do that while letting ourselves look stupid!" Duo grinned.
"Stop blabbering, you guys! The music is coming up!" A nervous Wu Fei warned from stage right.
The acoustic opening of their song began to play. The G4 stylishly grabbed for a microphone each. Of course, nothing was already coming out of them. Audio came from the feed Heero had planted.
Dao……..ahem……….Duo, started with a wide grin. His long hair was in a looser, more alluring braid than usual. Replacing the black suit was a pair tight jeans and a thin shirt that presented his defined chest.
(Jerry)
Mei Yi Tian Mei You Yi Tian
You Liu Xing Yu Zheng Zai Shi Yan
Yuy Heero Ze Lei looked the most respectable, wearing a collared shirt over khakis. He smiled slightly, and looked at Relena Peacecraft, blissfully ignorant of Heero's predicament.
(Vic)
Ni Jiang Hui Fa Xian Yong Yuan Bing Bu Yao Yuan
Barton Xi Men, by some miracle of some galaxy, managed to keep his hair from sticking out in front of him. He had divided it straight through the middle of his head, and tucked it behind his ears. He would be the first to tell you. It looked awful. At least, he did not have to stray far from his trademark jeans and turtleneck. He wore a classy polo under a red sweater.
Mei Zhuo Quatre was fumbling at a moplike wig placed over his head to hide his conspicuous blonde hair. The wig partially hid his pretty face. Worse, as a well-dressed aristocrat he was dreadfully unfamiliar with cargo pants over a large hip-hop shirt, his present costume. He just barely managed to sing Chinese instead of hurling Arabic curses at Wu Fei.
(Vanness)
Jiu Suan Quan Shi Jie Dou You Ba Ni Fou Ding
Ye Bu Neng Rang Wo Fang Qi Ni
"Work the crowd, guys! Work the crowd!" the manager admonished.
They actually did not need to. The dignitaries were all watching the four gentlemen intently. Trying to comprehend what exactly were they presenting.
(F4)
Jiu Suan Wo Men De Guo Qu Dou Mei You Le Zhen Ming
Wo Yi Rang Shou Hu Ni
"Now?" Duo asked.
"Now," Heero answered.
The G4 readied their cameras, as they spread out their arms to give full justice to the chorus.
Oh Baby Baby Baby
My Baby Baby
Wo Jue Bu Neng Shi Qu Ni
Ni Shou Xin Ni Sheng Ying
Hai Zhan Lin Wo De Xin Zen Neng Wang Ji
Xiang Ni Jiu Xiang Shi Hu Xi
They then raised their free hands to the level of their face, and swept them through the crowd. They aimed at a quadrant each, and ensured that cameras hidden in their sleeves took a good shot of the audience.
Oh Baby Baby
My Baby Baby
Wo Jue Bu Neng Shi Qu Ni
Bu Guan Ni Zai Na Li
Wo Yi Ding Hui Zhao Dao Ni
It was quite obvious to all four performers that the audience was just sitting respectfully. They were no longer listening to them. The ambassadors from New China were nowhere to be found on the assembly hall. Inside Wu Fei's large left hand, was his face.
Oh Baby Baby Baby
My Baby Baby
Wo Jue Bu Neng Shi Qu Ni
Ni Shou Xin Ni Sheng Ying
Hai Zhan Lin Wo De Xin Zen Neng Wang Ji
Xiang Ni Jiu Xiang Shi Hu Xi
Only one thing ran through the minds of all four gentlemen: Just one more chorus! Finally!
Oh Baby Baby
My Baby Baby
Wo Jue Bu Neng Shi Qu Ni
Bu Guan Ni Zai Na Li
Wo Yi Ding Hui Zhao Dao Ni
Bu Guan Ni Zai Na Li
To his embarrassment, Trowa, as Ken, ended the song by kneeling, microphone hand to his heart and camera hand blowing a kiss to the audience.
Wo Yi Ding Hui Zhao Dao Ni
And the curtain went down on the much relieved G4. A few kind claps were heard, but not much else. One could feel the sweatdrops on everyone's heads.
"Reviewing your collected data…….." Wu Fei quickly ran his fingers at a laptop, and gazed intently at the photos.
As he did so, Quatre immediately pulled off the annoying wig. Trowa repositioned his locks straight out before him. Duo scratched at the thin shirt.
Within two minutes, Wu Fei pulled off his ponytail and pulled at his well-greased hair.
"Wu Fei, we've checked the entire audience………." Heero reported.
"And Treize isn't here, I know, I know……." A chagrined Wu Fei responded. "All this hard work…."
"Not to mention, embarrassment…….." Trowa added.
"…….all gone to waste." Wu Fei punched at the nearby wall.
"I'm sorry, Wu Fei, but next time, I'm letting Sandrock do the talking for me," Quatre patted him on the back and gave him a smile.
"Yeah, never thought Chinese was such a hard language to sing in!" Duo chimed in.
Soon, Heero was nowhere to be found. He had jumped onto a scooter and sped away, FAR from this insane mission.
………………………
Thanks Hikari-chan for checking my inaccuracies. ^^
Someone in the know had told me. F4 unfortunately doesn't stand for Fantasy Forever, but for Flower Four!
Please don't sue, and please don't throw everything you have at me. I don't know the F4 or the G-boys that well yet, so please be kind. ^^ Thanks for reading!
