Winter Snowfall
Hitomi sat glumly on her chair in class. It was the winter season, but all she could think about was how her break would be. 'I guess it'll be another boring Christmas…' She sighed. Swinging her bag to the front of her, she hugged it tightly and took out the necessary supplies.
"Hitomi, why the sad face?" Her best friend asked.
She glanced. "I'm just thinking of how I'll spend the break…sitting in front of the fireplace by myself."
"It'll be ok. You'll see." Yukari patted Hitomi's arm. "Christmas isn't Christmas without miracles."
She smiled at the effort her friend was doing to make her feel better. "Thanks."
----
After school, she put on her coat and scarf on. Putting the bag on her back, she walked out of the school. She passed by many of the stores she loved to go to. Then, glancing at the huge hospital, she shuddered. Ever since her disease at the age of 8, she never could face up to her fears of injections and needles. Plus the fact that her dad worked there made it worse.
She quickly walked past it to her nice, sweet home a few blocks away from the school. When she finally got there, she opened the door after unlocking it and headed straight to her room first. After all, her parents were at work. As usual. Her brother was probably out playing with his friends, so she was alone in the house again. After getting changed, she took the cordless phone and watched some TV on the couch. Hitomi punched in some numbers and put the phone to her ear.
"Fukushima Hospital. May I help you?" The secretary asked.
"Um…is Dr. Kanzaki there?"
"Is this Hitomi?"
"Yeah." She blushed for forgetting to say who she was.
"Hitomi, your father is in the emergency room. I'll tell him to call you as soon as he finishes, ok?"
"Ok. Thanks."
"Bye. Take care."
"Bye."
----
Later that night, her parents arrived and they ate dinner together quietly. Hitomi felt mad at her dad for not calling back, at her mom for not even calling to see how everything was, and at her brother for coming at such a late time, she got in trouble for it. He was too tired to eat with them, so he already went ahead and slept.
"Anything interesting happen today?" Her mom asked.
Hitomi glanced up, seeing if the question was directed at her. "Um…no, not really."
"Yes, something did happen." Her dad replied.
"Oh?"
He nodded. "During the winter break, the hospital is searching for volunteers to work in some wards there."
"That is interesting." Her mom commented.
"Yes. And guess what, Hitomi? You'll be doing that."
She dropped her fork, making a clatter. With a mouth full of rice, she looked up with shock. "What??"
"Honey, don't talk with your mouth full."
"Sorry." She mumbled and swallowed the food. Then she looked up. "Daddy, what did you do??"
"I signed you up." He answered simply.
"W-why??"
"Since I'm going to be busy during the break like your mother, you might as well do something worthwhile. And your brother's going to work with your mom. I think you should work with me."
"But dad-!" She frowned. "You know I hate going to the hospital!"
"I know, but I figured this could be the time you can stand up to your fears."
"Yes. I think this is a very good thing." Her mom commented once again. "And you can always use those volunteer hours that you do for that 200 hours of community service for your high school to graduate."
"See?" Her dad grinned. "I did you a favour, Hitomi."
She sighed. "I guess I've got no choice…"
----
The two friends were walking home after school.
"Cheer up, 'Tomi. I would sign up too, but we're going someplace." Yukari said.
"But it's the hospital…" She looked up at the huge building as they walked towards it. "And I'm so…scared…"
"This is the time to not be such a scaredy-cat, ok?" Her friend put an arm around her shoulders. "I'll come with you so you won't get too scared."
"Thanks."
When the two arrived at the hospital, the secretary was already waiting. She smiled at seeing Hitomi. Yukari glanced at the place and whispered in Hitomi's ear.
"I'm going to go now, or I'll be late for our trip. I'll see you when I get back!"
Hitomi looked at her friend. "Bye Yukari. I'll miss you."
"Bye 'Tomi. I'll miss you too."
"Merry Christmas!"
"Happy New Year!"
They hugged each other. Yukari smiled at her friend and walked out of the hospital.
"Hi Hitomi."
"Hey Ms. Matsuki."
"You can call me Hiroko."
"Oh ok." Hitomi mumbled.
"Follow me and I'll show you where to go and what to do."
"Mm-hmm."
They arrived at the teenage/child ward where there were very many sick patients. She saw a bunch of kids playing some games on one side and people her age talking on the other side. Most of them had bandages and things everywhere on their bodies. She felt sorry for them, but she knew pity wasn't something they wanted out of people like her.
"Mrs. Amaya will tell you what you should do. I'll be by the desk if ever you need me. Since it is your first day here, you should just get acquainted with the patients since you'll be spending your winter with them. Get to know those children and if they're mean or they shun you, don't feel down or anything. Keep in mind that they've never gotten out of the hospital in a long time, so they haven't met healthy, normal kids."
Hitomi nodded.
"So do you have any questions?"
"Yes. Um…where do I put my stuff?"
"Oh, give it to me. I'll tell your father you're here and he can bring it in his office."
"Ok." She glanced at the people again. "Thank you."
"Bye."
Hitomi slowly walked over to the kids first, feeling very much like an outsider. Her awkwardness made her very pink on the face. When she walked around the beds, a little girl grabbed her arm. She turned and saw her face was burned, but her eyes still twinkled green.
"Hi." The girl said.
"Hi." Hitomi smiled, not caring about her face. "I'm Hitomi. What's your name?"
"Chiaki." She returned Hitomi's smile. "What sickness do you have?"
"Oh I'm not…I don't have a sickness. I'm here to spend time with you guys."
Chiaki's eyes brightened. "Really?"
"Yeah. I'm spending the winter break with you." Hitomi touched her cheek lightly. "Does it hurt?"
She shook her head. "I've had it ever since I was a baby. It hurt a lot when I was 3, but now I don't remember the pain."
"How old are you?"
"I'm turning 7 soon."
"You're getting old." Hitomi teased.
Chiaki laughed. "You're…older than me!"
"That's true. So maybe I'm old!"
"You are!" She giggled. "You're really pretty, Hitomi."
That touched her. "Thank you, Chiaki. You're beautiful yourself."
"I'm not." Chiaki said quietly. "I'm probably the ugliest girl in this whole hospital."
"Uh-uh. That's not true." Hitomi frowned. "You've got the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen my whole life! They're so green!"
"Yours are green too!"
"But I can't see my own eyes, remember?"
Chiaki giggled. "Oh yeah. I bet if you could, you would think yours are better than mine."
"No way. I love your eyes the best. Plus your hair…it's so nice and silky."
Her blonde hair was long and very pretty. "I comb it everyday to keep it nice."
"I bet you do."
"You don't have long hair." She touched Hitomi's.
"I guess not." Hitomi smiled. "But it's up to my shoulders, which is good, isn't it?"
"Yeah." Chiaki nodded. "If you had shorter hair, you'd look like a boy."
Hitomi giggled. "Very true. But I'll let you in on a little secret."
"What is it?"
"I had shorter hair before."
"Really??"
"Mm-hmm." Hitomi nodded. "I guess it just grew, didn't it?"
"Yes it did."
After a few more minutes, she told Chiaki that she had to go and meet some other people.
"Can I come with you? I'll introduce you to them."
"Sure. I'd love it." Hitomi grinned.
Chiaki stood up and took Hitomi's hand in hers.
They walked around the ward together. Hitomi met most of the little kids. Some of them didn't bother looking at her while some were very friendly. Once they got to the teenagers, Chiaki hesitated. Hitomi felt the same as her. Knowing how kids her age acted, she was afraid what they would do once they saw a normal girl like her.
"Come." Chiaki pulled on her hand.
"O-ok." Hitomi followed the girl and they met some people.
"This is Allen. He's a really nice guy." Chiaki smiled up at the tall, blonde man.
He had a cast around his right leg. "Hi." He smiled. "What are you doing here, Chiaki? I thought you were sleeping."
"I met Hitomi. She's staying with us the whole winter break."
"Oh really?" Allen's eyes twinkled. He looked at the honey-brown haired girl. "Hi."
"Hi." She said, blushing. His blue eyes were just mesmerizing. "I'm Hitomi."
"I figured." He teased.
She blushed harder.
"I suppose I'm Allen."
Chiaki giggled. "Stop joking Allen. We're going to meet some other people."
"Ok. Go ahead."
Chiaki nodded and they went ahead. "This is Millerna."
She was sitting on a wheelchair. "Millerna, this is Hitomi. She's a volu…um…vulotern."
"Volunteer." Hitomi supplied. "Hi."
Millerna smiled warmly. "Hi Hitomi. So you'll be here with us during winter?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
"Yay!" Millerna cheered. "I'm glad I finally have someone to talk to. A girl someone!"
Hitomi giggled. "But I've seen some other girls here too."
She waved them off. "They're mean. That's what they are. I hate them."
Hitomi nodded.
When they were almost done, Chiaki remembered another guy. "He's the nicest guy here. I like him very much. He's like my big brother, but he rarely ever talks to anyone."
"So who is he?" Hitomi asked, wondering.
"His name is Van."
She nodded. "Where is he?"
"He's sleeping right now. Over there." They walked over to him.
He had a bandage around his forehead and a few other bruises. He looked pretty peaceful just sleeping there. Hitomi thought he looked really handsome. There was a scar on his right cheek and a very small bruise on his neck. His hair was wild, his lips were full, and his eyes…well she couldn't see his eyes. She almost wanted to touch his hair and wave it back, but she was afraid.
"He's cute, isn't he?" Chiaki whispered.
Hitomi turned heavy red. "Mm-hmm."
"Do you like him?"
"I don't even know him." Hitomi whispered back. "I think we should go back. We're going to wake him up."
Chiaki nodded and they started to walk when Van immediately took hold of Hitomi's wrist, surprising her.
"Ah!" She released a small yelp and came face to face with a ruby-eyed guy.
The pink tinted cheeks got even worse as soon as she saw his eyes. They were even more beautiful than she expected. But it held too much coldness and anger. It scared her.
"I-I-I'm so sorry…b-but I didn't mean to w-wake you up…" She mumbled.
Their faces were just 2 inches away from each other.
"Don't think that just because you're staying with us for 2 goddamn weeks that you can act all mighty and superior."
"I-I won't…"
"You think just 'cause you're healthy and normal that you can step on us and-"
"Van, stop that." Allen scolded.
He let go of her wrist and moved away.
Hitomi glanced at Chiaki's fearful eyes. "Don't worry Chiaki. He was only…playing…"
"You're so mean, Van!" Chiaki punched his leg. "Hitomi's a really nice girl! She didn't do anything!"
Van looked down at the girl and his eyes immediately softened. Hitomi was surprised at this. "Sorry Chi. Didn't mean to get you scared…"
Chiaki hugged him tightly and he embraced her, rubbing her back.
Allen couldn't walk over to them, but smiled at what
Van did. "Van's not that bad, Hitomi. He just holds a grudge on normal
teenagers like yourself."
Hitomi looked down. "I'm sorry."
"Whenever he sees kids, he just immediately turns into this different guy. It's just around us that he's cold."
"Shut up, Allen." Van muttered. "She doesn't care about me. Or any of you. So why bother talking to her?"
Hitomi frowned at him. "Excuse me, but I think I can speak for myself. I do care about you."
Van looked at her with surprise.
Knowing her mistake, she blushed harder than before. By now her face was like a tomato. "I-I-I mean…all of you. It's only my first day, so I'm sorry if you think I act superior, but I'm not. I'm just like you guys, ok? I've got problems too. It might not be physical, but I've got problems too."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" One of them asked.
She frowned. "Every year I spend Christmas all by myself. Even though I'm not as bad off as some of you, you've got each other. Imagine watching TV on Christmas with no Christmas trees or lights or…or anything." She willed herself not to cry. "So see? We're even."
Everyone got quiet after that. Millerna then wheeled herself over to Hitomi and pulled the girl towards her bed. They got to know each other more and then everyone else continued what they were doing.
Later, her dad walked over to the ward.
"Hey kids. How are you all doing?"
"Good. Dr. K, you got any more of those pain-free drugs?" A guy named Gaddes asked.
"Gad, you're funny. I don't give out drugs, remember?"
He laughed.
Allen smiled.
"Hitomi, let's go."
Hitomi stood up and walked over to her dad. "Thanks for the fun time, guys. I'll be back tomorrow." She smiled at them.
"Bye 'Tomi!" Chiaki waved vigorously.
"Bye Hitomi!" Millerna waved lightly.
"Later, Kanzaki-girl."
"Bye!"
She took a small look at Van. He was staring at her. She glanced away quickly and waved at them. "Bye!"
----
The next day, she got to the place at 10am. Some of the kids were up, but Chiaki was sleeping. Millerna and Allen were sleeping as well. It was only Van and some other guys awake. He seemed to just be reading a book and leaning on the wall beside his bed. Hitomi walked cautiously towards him. Sensing someone there, he looked up and saw her. He put the book down and crossed his arms in front of his chest. She willed herself to not face his eyes.
"I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I understand why you act that way, so I'm sorry." She said in a rush.
He smirked at her, looking her up and down. She was pretty cute. "Fine."
Her eyes met his and his heart almost stopped. They were huge and bright. Just like yesterday when he caught her wrist. He didn't mean to bring her close to his face, but it happened. It was an accident. He was almost going to kiss her, which was really weird, but her lips were really…arousing.
"R-really?"
He nodded.
"Ok. Thanks…I guess." She fidgeted.
"So were you really being honest about what you said…yesterday?"
She nodded. "I mean what I say. I know how you guys think of me. And I don't blame you. It doesn't really matter. I'm just here to make friends I guess…and of course do stuff for work."
He smirked.
She blushed. "But I'm here for fun too. This year I get to spend Christmas with you…guys…and I don't know." She shrugged. "I hope you won't be so cold on me. I'm only going to be here for 2 weeks. And then you can hate me again."
He kept quiet.
She didn't know what else to say.
After a few more minutes, she felt uncomfortable. "I'm going to go…and see if I can do anything…" She started walking towards the nurse room. Van just kept watching her.
During lunchtime, she was given the job of giving out the pills to certain people. First, she finished the kids, and then she moved on to the teenagers. She had two pills for Millerna, one pill for Gaddes, three pills for another person, one pill for Allen, and two pills for Van. Once she finished everyone else's but Van, she walked over to him. His eyes were closed and he was groaning in pain silently. She was scared of what was happening to him, so she hurried and took the pills and water. He was laid down on his back on the bed and he looked terribly sick.
"Van?" She whispered. "Van, wake up."
He opened his eyes and looked at her. His eyes were so full of pain she almost started crying.
"Sit up and I'll feed you your pills, ok?"
He shook his head. "My head…it hurts…" He muttered.
"I think the pain will go away if you take your pills." She instructed. "Come on, Van."
He looked at her again and sat up slowly.
Her hand was shaking as she brought the pills to his mouth. He opened it and she put the pills in, her fingers touching his lips. Her heart beat loudly and she was afraid he'd hear it. He was staring intently at her as she got the water and pressed it down to him. He drank and closed his eyes, feeling the pain again.
"A-are you okay?" She asked, clearly worried about him.
He lied back down and looked up at her. "Thanks." He muttered.
"As long as you're okay…" She whispered and quickly walked back to the nurse.
They were given their lunches and so did she. They all sat together in one huge table in the middle of the ward. The kids stayed at one end while the teenagers stayed at the other end. Most of the people in the middle were just workers. Hitomi couldn't eat after what she experienced with Van. Her heart couldn't stop pounding so hard. She put the lunch down and walked out of the ward, feeling scared. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. Two days in that place and she was already crushing on a guy?? She hugged herself and walked out of the hospital, smelling the cool snow and touching the snowflakes in between her fingers.
"Aren't you cold?" She knew the voice.
"I'm feeling very warm right now. I need the coldness." She whispered.
Her dad put an arm around her. "How are you doing with the kids? They treating you good? You treating them nicely?"
"We're getting along fine, dad." She rested her head on her father's chest. "I've only been here two days and already I'm…scared…of the things. I never knew how in pain they are. When I got here, I just saw them happy and playful. I saw the bandages and their cuts and bruises, but I never really realized the pain they're going through."
"What made you see that today?"
"I was handing out pills to everyone." She reddened. "And there was this one guy…he was in pain, so I fed him the pills…but the pain he went through was enough to scare me…"
"You should start getting used to it, honey. Hospitals are designed for people like these; you know that. I know it's hard to just take in after just two short days. Things are going to get worse and you prepare yourself for that."
Hitomi looked at her dad. "Did you ever…work on someone…and couldn't help them? So…they died?"
"A lot of times." He muttered. "And it hurts like hell when that happens. Knowing that you disappointed a family and the feeling of just killing someone without meaning to. I might not be able to feel most patients' pain, but when that happens to me, I think I'm feeling it."
"Oh daddy…sometimes I wonder why you ever wanted to do this kind of work. It's so painful…"
"There's always a good side to it, honey. I help even more people compared to how many I can't. There's also that feeling of happiness when you save someone. It's not always painful…" He kissed her temple.
She shivered.
"Let's go back. It's getting cold."
"Ok."
Hitomi went back to the ward and saw that Chiaki was sitting with Van. They were both reading something. She walked over to Millerna and sat on her bed.
"Hi." Hitomi said.
"Hey. I thought you got lost or something." Millerna smiled. "Where'd you go?"
"My dad and I had a heart-to-heart talk. I just needed some…reassuring."
"About?"
"Stuff that happens here." She shrugged. "That's all."
"Mm, ok."
Hitomi hugged her knees. "Can I ask you something personal?"
"Sure." Millerna said warmly.
She hesitated. "How did you end up in a wheelchair?" She asked. After a moment of quiet, Hitomi felt scared of having hurt Millerna's feelings. "I-I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that question."
"No. I'm just recalling some memories." Millerna glanced out the huge window and stared at the snow. "It must have been when I was very young. My dad was driving and we were heading towards a mountain to go skiing or something. The roads were slippery and snowy…and from what I can remember, I think we fell over a bridge. My dad and I survived luckily…but I ended up in this. I kind of lost the feeling of my legs, but I'm working on it. My dad…I'm not too sure. I don't know where he is now. He's stopped visiting me a long time ago. I guess he's too ashamed."
"Ashamed of what? Having a child not being able to walk?"
"I guess so."
"I don't think he's a very nice father."
"He never was."
"But…at least you survived, right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm sorry about what happened."
She shook her head. "It was nobody's fault."
"How about your mom?"
"Oh my mom died during my birth. It's ok. Sometimes I want a mom, but then I've got all these nurses to pass for moms. They act too protective that it just drives me crazy." Millerna giggled. "I miss her, but the thing is I never knew her. My dad told me a long time ago that it's okay for me not to love my mom like that. It's not my fault I never got to feel her love for me. But I know she's always watching over me. I guess I do love her in some…way."
Hitomi smiled. "I admire you, Millerna. You're so…strong. You've gone through so much in your life and yet you still have compassion and love. You don't hold a lot of coldness in your heart."
"What can I say? I'm a sweet girl!"
"That's right."
At 5pm, the nurses were giving the patients shots. The kids were crying and the teenagers were just complaining about it. Most of them just asked for it, wincing when they felt it. Hitomi felt like she couldn't breathe. Fear was biting at her like crazy and she sweated. Feeling like she was suffocating, she turned and ran, but hit someone. She almost fell, but whoever it was had held her waist tightly. Looking through watery eyes, she stared up at Van.
"Van…" She mumbled.
"Why are you crying?" He asked, his eyes frowning at her.
"N-nothing." She shook her head.
"You ok?"
"U-um…"
"Van, your shot." The nurse called him.
"Ah!" She yelped and tried to get out of his grasp.
"Whoa! What's wrong with you?"
"I-I'm scared…" She gulped. "Of shots. Y-y-you've got to let go." She pleaded.
He let go of her and stared. "It's just a shot."
She nodded and walked out of the hospital again. 'Oh my god…' Her heart was racing two miles a minute. She sat on a bench and breathed the cold air. How could she deal with that everyday? Her tears rolled down her cheeks as she hugged herself tightly. After a few more minutes, she stood up and went back. Knowing it was over; she headed towards the place again.
Van seemed to be glaring at her from the moment she walked in. 'I probably hurt his feelings when I did that…' She was ashamed of how she acted and sat on a lone seat by the table. She buried her face in her hands. Then she felt someone hug her tightly.
She looked up and saw Chiaki smiling at her warmly. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She gathered Chiaki in her arms and hugged her. "I was just scared."
"Of what?"
"The shots."
"How come?"
"When I was a kid, I was really, really sick. I had to get a lot of shots and it hurt so much. I never got used to it and…since it's been so long, seeing it now scares the heck out of me."
"You were really, really sick?"
"Yeah." She admitted.
"How sick?"
"I had cancer." Hitomi mumbled. "I survived it, because the doctors detected it a lot sooner than usual."
"So you're okay now?"
"I guess. But I do have to check up once in a while with a doctor and see how I'm doing. 'Cause if it ever comes back, I'm in big trouble."
"I hope it won't come back."
"Me too."
----
The rest of the week seemed to blur by. Her friendship with the kids there had gotten a lot stronger, but she still didn't get through to Van. Neither of them talked since the incident with the shots. Everyday there were shots and everyday she would walk out of there feeling like a suffocating animal.
Then came Sunday. It was three days before Christmas and everyone was feeling anxious. Hitomi knew she had the job of buying a present for each kid there; even the teenagers, but she wanted to. The place was decorated with ornaments and there were so many Christmas trees. They were everywhere. The kids were merry and Hitomi felt the same.
Hitomi had gotten 5 gifts already and she placed them underneath their Christmas tree. "OOH!! Whose are those??" The kids were thrilling as soon as they saw the beautifully wrapped presents.
"You'll have to wait and see!" Hitomi smiled. "But there are more, so don't worry. I'm bringing in more gifts by the day, ok?"
"Yay!!!" The kids cheered.
"You're really nice, Hitomi." Allen commented.
She shrugged and grinned. "It's fun to do these things."
After lunch, she brought 10 more gifts. Some were from the other nurses and some were from her. More cheers came from the kids and teens. Hitomi smiled and took off her scarf and jacket. Then the kids played with each other and the teenagers were talking. She didn't think she'd be talking to anyone, so she walked around the place and saw Van talking to her dad. Waiting until they finished, she stayed there. When Van walked towards her, she stopped him.
"What?" He asked, glaring.
"What were you talking about?" She asked quietly.
He felt guilty for snapping at her. "Just about my head."
"Oh. Is it okay?"
"He said I have to wait for the CAT scan."
"Oh ok."
He started walking back to the ward when she grabbed his arm. He turned around.
"You've been mad at me for so long." She said abruptly.
"I'm not mad at you."
"Yes you are. You won't even talk to me." She pouted. "Why?"
"I don't talk to you because I don't want to. It's no big deal. I don't talk to anybody around here."
She reddened. "But I want to talk to you."
"About what?"
"I don't know. Anything…" She mumbled. "Won't you forgive me for whatever I did?"
"Fine. I don't care."
"Van, stop it. I know you care."
He sighed. "We're blocking the way. Come on." He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards his bed.
Her heart jumped at the feel of his hand. It seemed large compared to hers. It made her feel safer than she usually did with him around. Then when they sat, he let go of her hand as if it was no big deal. Silence seemed to stay for another moment. Then she started talking.
"I'm sorry if I offended you when I left during that…shot…thing." She mumbled. "I'm just really scared of injections."
He stared at her intently.
"Ever since I was a kid, I've always held this fear. I don't know why I can't face up to it, but…" She hesitated. "I was, um, very sick when I was a little girl, and I got so many shots I can't even remember. But I never got used to it and it hurt so much. I would always cry and…whenever possible I avoid it." She looked down. "I'm sorry."
"I wasn't mad at you for that." He muttered. "I wasn't even mad at you."
"You weren't?"
"No. I thought you already knew I don't talk to people much."
"How come?"
"'Cause I feel like nobody cares anyway. Why talk to people when they don't care what you say?"
"But I do care." She whispered, looking up at him. "I'm trying my hardest to get to know everyone here. And I feel like you're the only one I don't know. I know you're not a talker…and I understand that, but…couldn't you make an effort to just…say hi or something once in a while?"
"I do say hi." He defended.
"I'm not saying you don't…I'm just saying you don't say it often…"
He shrugged.
"And it's Christmas. Can't you be happy?"
"Look at me." He replied bluntly.
She looked at him and almost lost her breath. "I'm…looking at you…"
"You see this?" He pointed at his head. "Or this?" He pointed at his bruises. "When I'm fine, then I'll be happy."
She shook her head. "See? This is the attitude I really don't like about you. You're being so pessimistic. It's just one day. You'll be opening gifts too you know. Please just enjoy it and have fun. I'm sure you will. Just…lighten up and get loose."
Van raised an eyebrow at her. "I got gifts?"
"Yes." Hitomi smiled. "Everyone's got gifts."
"Why?"
"It's Christmas!" She replied again. "Van, just promise me you'll have fun. Just for one day."
He hesitated.
"Please? And then you can go back and do whatever you do all the time."
"…Fine." He said.
"Yeah?" She said with bright eyes.
He nodded.
"Ok." She grinned. "Thanks."
----
When it was the 24th, the kids could hardly wait for midnight. Even some of the teenagers couldn't. Van was walking around and glancing at the people. He saw Hitomi watching the snow from the window of the ward. He walked over to her and lightly touched her shoulder. She turned and smiled at him. Her cheeks turned a little pink and he felt his do the same.
"What are you doing up?" She asked. "You're usually lying on your bed doing nothing."
"I got bored." He replied. "The kids are getting noisy too."
"I know." Hitomi giggled. "I can't wait either. It'll be a lot of fun."
"I bet."
"Hey you promised to be happy." She warned.
"I am." He defended. "Happy."
She narrowed her eyes at him and then broke into a smile. "Ok."
"All right."
They walked together around the hospital.
"Van?"
"Yeah?"
"If I'm not imposing or anything…can you tell me what happened to you?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"I'm curious."
"Are you really?"
"Yes." She replied.
"I don't believe you."
She frowned. "How come? I'm being honest."
"I don't trust that easily."
"I want to know because I care about you." She said silently. "Is that good enough?"
He was surprised at her confession.
"Please Van. Tell me."
He looked into her eyes and saw compassion. Then he explained. "I got into a car accident. It was last year during summer. I was with my friends and we were having a race. My car swerved…and the next thing I knew I was in the emergency room getting surgery."
"Oh my god…"
"They said my head cracked open, so under all this hair, I got a huge scar."
"That must be why you get a lot of headaches."
"My folks won't even talk to me after it. They said after I get better, then I could go back home."
She was shocked at this. "What?? That's so mean."
"That's my parents."
"So does your head still hurt?"
"Yeah. Sometimes." He shrugged. "No big deal."
"You were in pain."
"I've been worse."
"Really?" She asked quietly.
"Hell yeah." He muttered.
"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting towards you. I know you don't deserve it." She replied.
"Stop apologizing." He waved her apology off. "It doesn't matter. You do things for a reason and I don't hate you for that. I make mistakes too and I apologize, but sometimes I do mean what I do and apologizing for it is fake."
She nodded. "But I do mean my apology."
"Yeah I know."
"Anyway…thanks for telling me." She stopped him and looked up to meet his eyes. "I really appreciate it."
"I saw in your eyes you meant what you said." He shrugged.
She nodded.
They then walked towards the ward when the kids started pointing and yelling at them. Then the teenagers followed suit. Van glanced at Hitomi and she stared back up at him with confusion clear in her eyes.
"What's going on?" He asked them as the two stayed in place.
"MISTLETOE!!!!!" They yelled all together.
The two looked up and saw dozens of bright green leaves with a red bow tied around it.
Hitomi giggled nervously to hide her fluttering heart.
Van turned sideways and watched her bright eyes twinkle at the sight.
"KISS!! KISS!!"
"On the cheek." He murmured, though he didn't mean it.
"LIPS!! LIPS!!"
Van sighed and Hitomi looked back at him, blushing heavily. He smiled a small smile at her and leaned down. She leaned up and they kissed for one second. It was a touch-lip thing and then it was over. Both felt a little disappointed, but knew it couldn't get past that. Kids were watching and plus…their feelings were at stake.
At 9pm, her dad got out of work. "Hitomi, let's go." He smiled.
She stood up and started to go when Van held her hand. "Stay." He said in a sincere voice.
Her heart wouldn't stop pounding so hard. "O-ok."
He let go of her hand and let her talk to her dad.
"Daddy, can I stay here?" She asked quietly. "I'd like to spend Christmas with them…"
"I'll be back here at 2am anyway, so…all right." He kissed her forehead. "Merry Christmas, honey."
"Merry Christmas, daddy." She watched him walk out of the hospital.
Hitomi went back to Van, who was leaning on the wall by his bed, watching her earnestly. She gave out a smile and sat beside him on the bed. He looked sideways at her and smiled slightly. She looked at him with a little puzzlement, but didn't mind. Glancing at the rest of the ward, she saw kids playing around the gifts and reading out the names on the tags. Teenagers were also talking and laughing on one side. Everyone was merry.
"Why are you looking at me?" She asked lightly, the corners of her mouth rising up.
"I don't know." He replied. "I never knew a girl like you could change a lot in a matter of days."
"How have I changed a lot?" She turned a little so she could look at him with ease.
He looked away from her for a second and mused. "I've never seen the kids this happy before…even on other Christmases."
"That's not much…" She mumbled.
"You changed the way I look at people…normal people." He admitted silently. "I don't hold that…grudge anymore."
"I wonder why that is." She stared right through his eyes.
He gave a chuckle.
"Do you think of me as a friend?" She asked quietly.
He was surprised. "How could you ask me that?" He muttered. "I never talk to anybody as much as I talk to you."
Hitomi's cheeks turned bright pink. "I'm sorry…I wasn't sure…"
"When do we open our gifts??" Someone yelled from the other side of the ward.
Hitomi and Van turned and looked for the voice. It was Millerna yelling behind the Christmas tree. Hitomi giggled and Van shook his head with a soft smile in his lips.
"In a little while, Millerna!" Hitomi called back.
She smiled and turned her attention back to Van, who was staring off into space again, his eyes focused on the huge tree. The lights were blinking and the melodies of Christmas songs were being played. Hitomi felt so happy in her heart that at least this time, she was able to spend Christmas with people. She looked around the ward and saw the gleaming faces of the children and the excited looks of the teens. The place felt just like Christmas and that's why she loved it.
Hitomi looked back at Van. She nudged at his elbow. "What are you thinking?"
He looked startled a bit, but glimpsed back at her. "Just stuff."
"Like what?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "My family…you know, how they're doing…"
"Yeah."
"I'm just wondering…what'd it be like if…I was spending Christmas with them, you know." He muttered. "It's been a while."
"When was the last time?" She asked quietly, staring at him with curiosity.
"About 4 years I guess." He sniffed. "Yeah, it sucks not seeing them. It's only been a year since I left home, but…4 years…we haven't spent Christmas together. I mean I was never a family guy, you know, but there are times when you really need your family by your side. And knowing that they're not there…it makes it a lot harder for me…to accept."
Hitomi's bottom lip shook from that. She took his hand and smiled at him kindly. "I know how you feel, Van, and I know that it hurts to just…not have them around, but you've got your friends here. You can always count on them."
He looked straight into her eyes. "How about you?"
"Me?" She asked in a surprised voice. Her cheeks turned pink greatly. "Of course I'll be here." She looked down at their intertwined fingers from embarrassment. "I know that we haven't known each other for long, but I want you to know that you can count on me for anything, Van." She mumbled the end.
A smile grazed his lips and he pulled her closer to him using their entangled hands. "Thanks Hitomi."
She smiled back. "You're welcome."
Almost three hours later, people started gathering around the tree. Hitomi sat on a long stool by the gifts with the other nurses. Van watched everyone from his bed, but mainly stared at the hostess smiling at everyone. Their eyes caught each other's and a simple smile from her brought shivers down his spine. He glanced away and looked out the window, where a snowfall took place. It was quiet and peaceful, though, and sometimes snowflakes stuck on the windowpane, letting him admire it. He watched for a few more minutes and then loud shouts and happy yells erupted in the air.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!"
"Merry Christmas, everyone!!"
"All right!! It's Christmas!! Woohoo!!"
"MERRY, MERRY, MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!"
"Happy Christmas everybody!!"
He glanced at the youths jumping up and down and yelling for joy. He let a small smirk descend on his lips. Then he saw two bright green eyes moving closer to him. He stood up and waited patiently for her. She was smiling from ear-to-ear with her eyes twinkling like stars.
"Merry Christmas, Van." She said in a sweet voice.
He couldn't help but smile back at her. "Same to you, Hitomi."
She giggled
and hugged him tightly. "It's Christmas!!"
He laughed and put his arms around her. "I know, and there's a snowfall
outside."
She gasped and pulled back. "Really??"
"Yeah, go look."
She turned sideways and saw the snow falling. "Oh wow…"
"Hey…" He turned her back around to him slowly. "Don't you have to give the gifts out?"
Her eyes widened a bit and she nodded. "Yes! Are you coming?"
"Nah, I'll stay here. When you call my name, I'll go down there." He said.
"Ok." Hitomi smiled. "Bye." She waved lightly and ran back to the tree.
Hitomi called everyone to gather around her. The nurses, too, went over and sat in the sides. Hitomi glanced up at Van who was watching her with intent ruby eyes. She smiled at him and looked at every single person sitting, waiting for his or her gifts. Taking the first wrapped present in her hands, she read the tag by herself first and spoke it out loud. People started cheering and the girl came over and took the gift from her, giving her a hug. After 15 gifts had been presented, Hitomi went across Chiaki's gift.
"Chiaki." She called.
The little girl giggled heartily and ran to her. Without even taking the gift, Chiaki hugged Hitomi with all her might and whispered in her ear. "Thank you for everything, Hitomi. I love you."
Hitomi's eyes lightly burned with tears and she made a small swipe at them. "Thanks, honey. I love you too." She kissed Chiaki's nose and gave her the gift. "I hope you like it."
"I definitely will!" She smiled and opened it in front of Hitomi. It was a baby doll with accessories. She gasped with happiness. "Thank you so much, Hitomi!!" She hugged her again and went back to her spot in the circle.
Hitomi took a small breath and continued on. Then there were two last gifts under the Christmas tree. The kids weren't paying attention, because they played with their own toys. The teenagers didn't either, for they loved their new clothes, headphones, and all the other things regular teenagers wanted. The nurses were taking care of some kids who were sick, but enjoyed their gifts too. Hitomi took both gifts in her hands and walked over to Van, who was looking at her in an interested way. She flushed and put the two in front of him.
"Here are your gifts, Van." She stated.
He looked at her, surprised, and then looked down at the gifts. "Thanks, Hitomi."
"Just open it." She urged.
He nodded and took one present in his hands. Van carefully loosened the bow and took the tape off the beautiful wrapper. Once he got both out of the way, he opened the lid of the box and stared inside. He took them out and gawked with utter shock. He held two bandanas, one colored blue and silver, while the other was red and black. Under one bandana, there was a small letter. He read it.
'May your wishes come true – Love, Hitomi'
She waited patiently and hoped his expression meant good. He finally looked at her and his words were caught in his throat. It was like his voice was stuck there and it wouldn't be able to get out. Hitomi looked expectantly at him. He let out a smile and hugged her abruptly. She was surprised at his actions, but hugged him back.
"So I'm guessing you like it?" She asked hopefully.
He nodded. "I love it." He admitted. "How'd you know I wanted these?"
"I heard from a friend." She smiled.
"Which friend?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Allen told me that you loved bandanas and always wore them to school, but you stopped wearing them once you had your accident, because your parents wouldn't let you in the house."
He nodded.
"So I wanted to buy you some instead…so you can wear it here."
"Thanks Hitomi." He said softly. "You don't know how much this means to me."
She kissed his cheek tenderly. "Christmas is all about happiness, Van, and I'm glad that you're happy."
He touched it lightly and looked at her in a daze.
"You've got another one." She pushed the other box to him. "Go ahead."
"Is this from you?" He asked inquiringly.
She shook her head. "Someone put it under the tree."
"Huh." There wasn't a note that said whom it came from.
The box was big. He opened the lid and saw a CD player, CDs, books, and brand new clothes. He looked at them all and glanced at Hitomi with surprise. She returned with a confused look, so he stared back down in the box and saw a note in red and green stationery. Hitomi watched him hold it in one hand and continue to glance through the stuff. Once he finished that, he unfolded it and read the handwriting.
'Dear Van,
We miss you so very much here back at home. We're very sorry about the accident and not being in contact with you. We haven't been very good parents, but there's something both your dad and I have realized. No matter how upset we are about your accident, we will always love you for being such a great son and loving young man. We hope that this Christmas gift will mend all the things we've done wrong to you. Have a great Christmas, son, and we'll see you when you come home. We love you.
Love, Dad & Mom'
He didn't say anything and neither did Hitomi. She just watched him stare out into space and clutch the letter tightly in one hand. After a few minutes of silence, he looked at her and smiled. She glanced at him with surprise, but he stood up and stroked her cheek with his thumb.
"I'm going to call my parents, ok?" He asked.
She nodded. "Tell them Merry Christmas for me."
"I will." He replied and walked over to the payphone.
Hitomi walked around the ward, hoping to find something to do. Unfortunately for her, she didn't get any presents, but she didn't complain. Seeing everyone happy and enjoying Christmas was a gift itself. She remembered the snowfall happening outside, so she went to the window and touched the cold glass, her fingertips digging into it. The snow was at least 10 inches deep, yet snowflakes kept on falling. She smiled to herself and saw a particular star shining wholly.
After 10 minutes or so, she went back to the ward and saw that Van was nowhere. He wasn't by the payphones or the kids. Surprised at his antics, she started looking for him, but didn't succeed. She asked a couple of people, but none of them saw him. Another ten minutes passed and still he wasn't back. Hitomi was getting frightened at this. She hugged herself tightly and stood in front of the Christmas tree, staring at an angel.
"What are you doing?" A deep voice asked.
She turned around immediately and hugged him snugly. "Where were you?? I was so scared!!"
He gave a small chuckle and put his arms around her. "Sorry to scare you." He replied.
She pulled back and frowned at him. "Where did you go??"
"That doesn't matter. I'm here now." He smiled.
Hitomi buried her face once again on his upper chest. "Don't do that to me ever again, ok? I was getting really worried."
"I'm sorry, Hitomi. I really didn't mean to do that." He said silently. "It's just that…I wanted to do something."
"Do what?" She asked quietly, looking up at him.
He looked into her eyes and smiled a small smile. He took out something from his pocket and gave it to her. It was a green and red box.
"What is this?" She asked in wonder, taking it in her hands.
"Open it." He insisted.
She looked at him suspiciously and he returned it with a teasing one. "Okay…"
She carefully took out the wrapping paper and then opened the heart-shaped container. There laid a beautiful, silver necklace with an angel in the middle. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked up at Van with frightened eyes. He looked back down at her, giving her some reassurance. Her hands shook as she carefully took it out and touched the real silver.
"Oh my gosh…" She whispered in a shaky voice. "Van, what is this…?"
"This was my grandmother's." He took the necklace and placed it around her neck. "She told me to keep it safe, and when I met someone who really did something amazing and changed me, I would give that necklace to that person." He explained and turned her around to face him.
Tears were in her eyes as she touched the necklace in her smooth hands. "But I can't take this…"
"You didn't even get anything today…and it's Christmas." He whispered. "I think you deserved it."
"V-Van…" She was shaking and looking into his eyes.
He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "Hitomi, it's my present to you. Please just accept it."
She looked at him hesitantly and finally withdrew. She nodded and hugged him tightly. "Thank you so much, Van."
"Now that's better." He chuckled and kissed her hair lightly.
"I love it." She whispered and pulled away just enough to look up at him.
"Get your coat." He instructed.
"Why?"
"We're going out." He smiled and winked.
She smiled back. "Ok!"
Once they were outside, Hitomi and Van stood in the middle of the snow, watching the snowflakes fall on the ground. Their shoes were already in the deep snow, but neither cared. Van and Hitomi started dancing under the moonlight in the middle of the snowfield. Their arms were around each other and Van made sure to keep Hitomi snug and warm. Hitomi let her body sway with Van's as they listened to the carolers sing some Christmas ballads. Once the songs were finished, Hitomi looked up at Van and he looked down at her.
"Thanks for a great Christmas, Hitomi." He said affectionately.
She blushed. "I don't think I really did much." She murmured. "Thank you so much…for the gift."
He softly caressed her cheek. "I never believed in wishes coming true, you know." He confessed. "But today, a lot of my wishes came true."
"What were those wishes?" She asked subtly.
"Well…for starters, have my family back…"
She smiled.
"Enjoy Christmas for a change…"
"Mm-hmm."
"And…" he bent down and whispered in her ear, "Fall in love."
She gasped a little and looked up at him in amazement.
"It's true." He said silently.
Tears leaked out from the corners of her eyes and she looked up at him eagerly. "You mean it?"
He nodded.
She didn't need any more. Hitomi kissed him softly on the lips and he responded with an earnest one. They kissed for a little more, enjoying each other's company. Once they let go, Van rested his forehead on hers. Her lips were swollen and her eyes shook with happiness. They just stared into each other's eyes. No words were needed for them to connect. That's why their relationship was so special and unique.
"Van, are you happy?"
"I'll always be happy from now on, Hitomi."
"How come?"
"Because you love me."
THE END