Well, I know it's been ages and ages since this was updated, and I apologize. Anyway, I just felt inspired to work on this one, so yeah. I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. But I do own David! And Becca.

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David spun on his heel and sprinted back towards the middle school maybe the locker had somehow sucked him back, maybe

"David! Slow down!" Becca scrambled to catch up.

David ignored her. The important thing was finding Bill, not catering to the whim of some girl who had been spying on him for the past who-knows-how-long if David hadn't been so worried about the stupid pirate, he would have been seething.

His sneakers rhythmically slapped the asphalt as he rounded the corner onto school property. His eyes roved desperately around, looking for any sign of the pirate, and finding none wait.

David screeched to a halt, and Becca slammed into him from behind, causing both of them to go down in a heap. The boy picked himself up, not even acknowledging the girl, and walked dazedly towards the small pond.

Bill strode cheerfully out of the water, whistling to himself and lugging a treasure chest David recognized from first quarter of last year. He dumped it onto the lawn next to a growing pile of all the artifacts David's locker had ever disgorged, and then turned around and calmly strode right back into the water until he was completely submerged.

David's jaw dropped. He wasn't sure whether he should feel relieved that he had found the pirate before anyone else had, or angry that said pirate was currently doing his level best to expose the secret David had been keeping for years.

'Well, it isn't like you've been the most successful secret-keeper the world has seen, anyway,' his mind commented as David glanced at Becca. The girl was still breathing heavily, and looking at the pond as if she'd seen a ghost.

Bill reemerged, this time with a long string of pearls in one hand and a small golden idol in another. He noticed David and Becca for the first time and waved cheerfully. "Oy, Davey, will yeh look at all this? Why didn't you tell me all this was here, eh?"

David's mouth opened and closed silently like a fish for a few moments, then the boy swallowed and found his voice. "Maybe because I knew that if I did, something like THIS might happen!!" He pointed sternly to the growing pile of booty.

"Ah," Bill looked slightly guilty, but visibly shrugged it off. "But David, lad, it doesn't do much good sittin' down there at the bottom of that pond, now, does it?"

"Do you honestly think it'll do me good having it all OUT of the pond?" David asked, trying not to lose it completely.

"Well, of course!" Bootstrap smiled winningly, and David sighed heavily. The pirate tossed the idol to David, who caught it. David sighed down at the little statue - third quarter last year - and chucked it right back into the pond.

"What was that for?!" Bill frowned at the growing ripples. "Now I'll have to go back for it"

"You will do no such thing," David said coldly. "Now help me put all of this stuff back."

"Jeez, David," Becca crouched down, poking through the pile of treasure. "All of this stuff came out of your locker? And you just chucked it into the pond?!" She straightened up and raised her eyebrows.

"Exactly!" Bill grinned and threw a dripping arm around Becca's shoulders; the girl yelped and twisted away as the pond water started to soak the back of her shirt. "Here's a girl with 'er priorities straight!"

"What am I supposed to do with it, Becca?" David snapped, and Bill's smile slowly faded. "If I show it to anyone, they'll just assume I stole it from somewhere!" He started lugging one of the treasure chests back towards the pond. "It's all more trouble than it's worth!" The chest plunked back into the water, sinking out of sight. "And I think it's pretty clear that I have enough to deal with right now, in case you didn't notice," David finished, glaring pointedly from Becca to Bootstrap and back.

Becca had been staring wide-eyed at David throughout his entire tirade, but now she blinked, shaking off her momentary stupor. "All the more reason for me to help you!"

David could hardly believe his ears, which were rapidly filling with the sound of his own blood roaring through his veins. His face screwed up in rage as he screamed, "YOU! ARE! NOT! HELPING!" He stood there for a moment, fists clenched, chest heaving, glaring furiously at the pirate who had seriously screwed up his already abnormal life and the girl who was only making things worse. "NEITHER OF YOU ARE DOING ANYTHING TO MAKE MY LIFE EASIER, AND IF THAT COMES AS A SURPRISE TO EITHER OF YOU, THAN YOU ARE NOT ONLY A PAIN IN MY ASS, YOU'RE STUPID TO BOOT!"

Becca blinked a few times, and David wondered if she was going to cry. He almost hoped she would. At least he'd feel like he'd gotten through to her.

Clearly, it wasn't David's day. Becca shook her head, brown pigtails bouncing, then stooped over and picked up a glass carving of a horse. She carried it over to the water's edge and lobbed it in. After watching it sink, she turned around to look at David and raised her eyebrows. "I'm helping you now," she said calmly as she walked back to the now shrinking pile of artifacts.

Bill had sighed at the loss of his only ally, and now hefted a sizable chest and lugged it to the pond, chucking it in. Then he turned his deep brown eyes towards David, his brow furrowing in concern. "There's an awful lot o' swag down there, Davey. Are you sure about this? You could be a very rich young man."

"It's David," the boy replied. "And if I wasn't sure, I would have cashed in a long time ago, don't you think?"

The pirate lifted a shoulder in response, and the three managed to have everything back in the pond in a matter of minutes. As soon as the last handful of coins had disappeared out of sight, David turned to the pirate and repeated the question he had asked twenty-four hours before.

"What are we going to do with you?"

Bill shrugged helpfully.

"You're soaking wet," David added for good measure. "And there is no way we'll be able to sneak you into the house without my mother noticing. She's probably already wondering where I am." He glanced at Becca. The last thing he wanted to do was ask her for help but she was already involved. Might as well try to take advantage of that unfortunate fact. "What about your house?"

Becca blinked in surprise when she realized he was serious, then a pleased smiled flitted across her features. She composed herself and shook her head. "Sorry my mom stays at home. And there's my sister as well."

"Lovely," David muttered.

"Well, let's just head back towards your house and see what happens," Becca suggested with the optimism of someone whose problem it wasn't.

"Let's just walk on back," David restated flatly.

"Yes," Becca nodded.

"With a dripping wet pirate."

"Naturally."

"To see my mother."

"Mm hmm," Becca grinned.

David stared. "You're crazy."

"Well," Becca said, "this whole situation seems pretty crazy to me. Might as well you know"

"What? Go crazy now to save time?!"

"I was thinking more along the lines of just embracing it, but whatever floats your boat." She grinned brightly.

David looked at Becca for a long moment. "I hate you."

"Look, what are you going to do?" Becca raised her eyebrows, hands on her hips. "You can't leave him. You can't hide him anywhere. Your mother's going to find out about him eventually. Might as well make it sooner than later." David didn't respond. Becca sighed and rolled her eyes. "Come on Bill, is it?" Becca turned and started heading back towards David's house. Bill looked from David to Becca a few times, then shrugged again and started following her towards the street.

"Hey!" David ran to catch up and smacked Bill on the shoulder. "Who's side are you on?!"

"Well, this Becca seems to know what she's doing."

"Yeah, seems being the key word, here!"

"Oh, lighten up, David. I'm sure I'll be able to think of something by the time we get back to your house."

"Like what?" David mimicked Becca's voice. "'Hi, Mrs. Jones, did David tell you that our school just started an adopt-a-hobo program?'"

"He does look kind of hobo-ish," Becca observed with a giggle.

David glowered. "Again with the not helping."

"What is a hobo?" Bootstrap asked.

"A homeless person," David snapped. "With no job and no money."

"Ah."

"Wait." Becca stopped in her tracks, looking thoughtfully at the pirate. "Maybe we can do something about the hobo-ish-ness." She drummed her fingers on her chin, then her face split into a grin. "Yeah. Detour!" She turned and started marching purposefully back down the street. Bill and David both followed bemusedly.

"What's the big idea?" David asked, masking his curiosity with annoyance.

"We're going to make your pirate a bit more presentable before we introduce him to your mother, that's what," Becca replied.

"How?"

"Well, a haircut, for starters." Bill jumped at the word 'haircut' and fingered his long, black locks nervously.

"A a what, did you say?" he asked tremulously. The children ignored him.

"I don't have the money for a haircut! Do you? And even if you do, he'll probably scare the stylist!"

"He doesn't scare me," Becca said evenly.

David gaped. "YOU'RE going to cut his hair?!"

"His beard, too," Becca nodded. "He'll look much nicer clean-shaven."

"Do you even know what you're doing?" David asked incredulously. Bill was monitoring the conversation with an expression of increasing horror on his face.

"Sure," Becca waved a hand airily. "I used to give my dolls haircuts all the time. Course, they usually turned into crew cuts in the end"

"What?!" David stopped dead.

"What's a crew cut?" Bill asked urgently, eyes wide.

"Never mind!" Both children chorused as David resumed walking.

"But it sounds important!"

"Never mind, Bootstrap!"

"Anyway, I'm sure I could give him a decent cut. And just about anything would be better than what he has now." Becca fell back to walk beside the pirate and looked critically at his hair. "Look, there are beads and things braided into it! I mean, beads are all right if you're a teenage girl who just got back from Jamaica, but if you're a grown man"

"Other people braid things into their hair," Bill argued, fingering a feather in dismay.

"Don't be stupid; they do not," David said, rolling his eyes. "At least they don't now."

"But"

"Don't worry, Bootstrap," Becca smiled winningly up at him. "I'll do a great job, and you can even save the beads and feathers and things if you wa- wait, is that a bone?! Okay, that is getting chucked, but anything else that's reasonably sanitary you can keep."

"But"

"Are you sure that you can give him a decent haircut?" David looked doubtfully at Becca.

"I'm pretty sure, yeah."

"How sure is pretty sure?"

"Pretty darn."

"Oh, god!" Bootstrap moaned, burying his face in his hands.

"It'll be okay, Bill!" Becca patted the pirate's still-damp arm. "You'll be a regular stud muffin, I bet!"

"You're on," David muttered to himself. Becca either hadn't heard him, or did an excellent job pretending she hadn't heard him.

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Bleh, I'm exhausted. Just wanted to get this out there. Overnight shifts are bad for me so bad anyway, huge HUGE thanks to all of my reviewers, especially the ones that politely told me to get my rear in gear (you know who you are). I honestly didn't mean to leave this sitting for so long. Thanks for being patient and sticking with me!

Platy