I watched as the computer screen went blank and the humming noise stopped. The room was dark and heavy with silence. God I missed Jam. I never quite understood the phrase "missed someone so much it hurt" but now I do. We have been talking on the phone and on MSN for the last week. It helps but it just isn't the same as having her next to me. We have been making really good progress on our songs though.

I left the kitchen where the computer is and headed towards my room. As I walked a thought came into my head. I actually missed Camp Greenlake. I mean, the guys there never teased me or made fun of me. I hate it when people make fun of my weight. I can't help being the way I am. Jam could see that, D-Tent and J-Tent could see that too. It just the rest of the world who can't seem to get past the way I look.

I shook my head, too tired to think about this anymore and climbed into bed. As I shut my eyes and turned off my lamp the same dreadful thought went through my mind. Another day at school tomorrow, another day of hell.

"Whoah, I think the bus just shook." I heard a farmiliar voice say as the bus door closed behind me.

I looked up to see Zac MacDougall watching me from the back of the bus. Him and all of his Jock friends were there.

"Whoah, I think the bus just filled with more hot air." I replied sliding into my regular seat.

"Man The-O-dore, that seat put be permanently bent from you sittin' there everyday." Zac continued, trying to impress his friends.

"Yeah just like the funky stink in the back of the bus from you sittin' there everyday." I replied glancing over my shoulder.

I could hear him and his friends making wise cracks all the way to school, but didn't waste anymore breath on argueing with them. It was pointless, he always won just because he was I-don't-have-any-brains-just-brawn-Zac.

School was the same as always, theachers blabbing on about pointless things we won't need to know once we get out of school. As usual, I was scribbling in my notebook

Throughout the long days,
I live my life in chains.
When the night comes,
I'm free of lifes pains.
I've forgotten how to cry
Tears trapped inside, I can't let out.
So many things I want to yell.
These words I dare not shout.

I sighed when the lunch bell rang, this was my least favorite part of the day. Once I got my lunch from the cafeteria I headed outside hoping Zac wouldn't bother come looking for me there. I was just finishing my lunch when I felt a farmiliar tap on the shoulder.

"Awe, you didn't think we wouldn't find you here did ya The-O-dore?" Zac asked sarcasticly.

I hate the way he says my name. Putting the emphasis on the O. The-O-dore. Makes me sounds like a redneck.

"Nope, just coming outside, to get awake from the stench." I replied casually standing up. "Looks like it followed me out here though."

"Oh you think your tough smart-ass?" Zac asked getting in my face.

"I would do that." I replied, keeping my tone cool.

"Oh, why not? Why should I be scared of you, you gross, good for nothing-" He said put stopped when I connected a hard right hook with his jaw.

"FIGHT!?" I could hear my mom yelling from the principals office.

I was slouched outside on the bench about an hour after my little run-in with Zac. Our course it had turned into an all out fight. And of course, being right next to the school, the teachers caught us. Made mental note that next time I want to kick Zacs ass, to do it farther away from the school.

"3 BOYS!?" I could still hear my moms shouts.

Once I had hit Zac his stupid empty head friends had joined it. So I just bashed their empty heads together. Now that I think of it, I am quite sure I did hear a hollow sound. I had those three guys out within a few minutes, more Jocks probably would have joined in except the teachers had stopped the fight. Stupid teachers.

"You." My mom said marching out of the principals office "Up, out, NOW!"

I followed her out to the parking lot and got into the car. Once she started the engine, I felt a sick feeling in my stomache that I should have just walked home.

"Fighting again? You have only been home for two weeks!" She yelled gripping the steering wheel tight.

"It ain't my fault, they're the ones who was baggin' on me." I replied staring out the car window.

"Do you want the same thing to happen again?" My mom continued "Do you want to get arrested again?"

"No but sure as hell wish that I woulda sent those three to the hospital." I said under my breath.

"Don't get smart with me." My mom snapped. "The principal informed me that you have been suspended for the next 5 school days and that if you are caught again it will be for much longer."

No computer. No telephone. No tv. No cd play. For a month.

Why don't they just kill me and get it over with?

My dad took it quite well when he heard I had been fighting. He is proud that I can defend myself. Thanks to him my Mom didn't get to lock me in the closet for a month.

Once I was sure they were sleep, I crept into the kitchen and turned to computer on. I kept my fingers crossed as MSN loaded. Sure enough Jams icon was blue, she was online.

{Sing for the moment} says:
Hey hey

A-R-M-P-I to the T says:
Hey babe

{Sing for the moment} says:
Whatsup?

A-R-M-P-I to the T says:
Not too much, got another verse wrote

{Sing for the moment} says:
Awesome, lets hear...well read lol

I smiled, she always made me smile...damn I miss her