Impossible Past Chapter 5: Misery Loves Company, a x-men: evolution fanfic

Chapter 5

Ok guys I'm back and decided to write one more chapter. One thing before reading this chapter it is a bit lengthy because I just wanted to make a long chapter than 2 or 3 short ones so bare with me. The chapter is not based on Anastasia as my others but essential to the plot this is also a bit more graphic and contains more foul language than my other chapters, so yeah if you like that stuff this should make for a real juicy chapter. So you won't get confused I will explain what's going on. Although everyone thought it was Rogue who was pouring out random memories and Jean who was receiving them professor realizes that it could be either one that is the cause for the whole matter. Jean or Rogue? Rogue or Jean? Who is suppressing the memories of being Anastasia or is it even their memories or someone else's?

It's a bit confusing I know. Also someone wanted a scogue so I will indulge them with this chapter hopefully. Anywho I rambling so I'll shut up and let you enjoy my fic! I don't own anything but this computer so don't sue cause you would get nothing if you tried. Also if you like or don't like the songs in this fic I've named them below:

Song # 1: Caught in the Sun : Course of Nature

Song # 2: Insatiable: Darren Hayes

Song # 3: Honestly Ok: Dido

Song # 4: Because of You: Nickelback

Song # 5: Hallowman: Trapt

Song # 6: These Walls: Trapt

Song # 7: Everlong: Red Hot Chile Peppers

--------------------------3 weeks later--------------------------

Professor Xavier looked at the young man he had appointed the rank of leadership and the look of fear that could be seen even in spite of the ruby glasses concerning the two people that meant a great deal to him. "What do you mean professor?" the young man inquired fearfully. " I'm just saying over the past few weeks It has occurred to me that the cause of this could be either one of them." The older man looked out to the window not facing the boy yet he knew what thoughts played in his mind and the fear and worry that plagued his mind at the moment.

You're my distanced destination of choice
I'd give anything just to hear your voice
I couldn't pass you on the street
Without saying a word
Most times I missed the voice
That goes unheard

" I at first thought it was Rogue but …The line has become too distorted and not even I can tell if the memories being flooded is Jean's or Rogue's at this point I can no longer help them Scott" he looked downcast and for the first time at least to Scott was the first time he saw the professor helpless.

" Well…Maybe I can help" he thought it over again those words had come out due to sure habit, what could he do but sit and watch the two people whom he loved more than life itself slowly give way to insanity?

What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough

People everywhere how could I be sure
Is it you that I have been looking for
What would it take for me to be comfortable
With you, with me you're the chosen one

"You are in fact close to both of them perhaps a bit closer than I…maybe your services could be useful to them" He sighed as he rubbed his temples

As if doing so would make the matter go away. " I don't know what I'm…" the young man was interrupted as the woman known as Storm entered the room " Professor sorry to disrupt but Hank has just received news of a group of hostile mutants terrorizing all of western Europe and Asia thought you would like to be informed." She stated never faltering her voice or gaze directed entirely at the professor.

What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough

You are there for me this I hope and pray
You will wait for me, I wont be to late

Scott watched her in amazement for Ororo was a strong leader whom he hoped he could live up to one day but her over all presence was captivating.

"Thank you Storm" with that the weather goddess left the room leaving behind an entranced Scott. " Scott I'm sorry to cut our conversation short but I need you to inform the others of a new mission and to be at the flight line as soon as possible." he turned his wheel chair and proceeded out of the room, Scott following closely behind. "Professor where are we going any way?" the young man asked of his mentor. "Russia" he said impassively.

What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough

Will you wait for me
Or will I be to late this time
You are there for me this I hope and pray

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``Rogue's & Jean's mind "~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rogue / Jean sat on the cool grass beneath the willow tree that hang it branches almost as if to conceal the fragile girl. She slowly stood up the realization of where she was hitting her abruptly as she smelled the humid air "Mississippi…I'm in Mississippi". Slowly she looked down realizing she felt the cold grass beneath her fingertips and relished in the feeling. She looked down and saw she was wearing some gaudy dress that usually Southern debutante's would wear during the l8th century barely after or during the Civil war era, she gazed over it some but shrugged it off, "I guess its kind of/kahnda nice/ nahce." She slowly led herself to the wooden swing that hung from one of the branches and gazed out as the sun began to set over the bayou. Slowly as she let her body be bathed by the magnificent sunset she felt trails of kisses begin to cascade over her collarbone.

When moonlight crawls along the street
Chasing away the summer heat
Footsteps outside somewhere below
The world revolves I let it go
We build our church above this street
We practice love between these sheets

She jumped up to see a strange young man, hard as she tried she could not see his face but even so she knew he was handsome, He too was dressed in the ridicules attire of that time period as well. The young man bent on one knee and gently took her hand giving it the tenderest kiss either of them had ever felt. Slowly yet smoothly he brought himself to his two feet his movements fluid and precise. He spoke no words yet his lips moved hypnotizing her and she felt as her mouth soon was covered by his, not forcefully but passionately, just enough for it to be sensual yet demanding

The candy sweetness scent of you
It bathes my skin I'm stained by you
And all I have to do is hold you
There's a racing in my heart
I am barely touching you

Rogue/Jean let out a small moan, for Rogue it had been her first and only kiss and for Jean well it was the best damn kiss ever! She opened her mouth to speak but no words were audible as she realized there was no sound. She gazed into the young man's eyes and realized why, for their were no words to express what she felt for him and he her, It was now her who initiated the kissing to continue as she let her mouth find his. The two girls both having no control of the matter as they watched as their body took over both screaming in their minds "WHAT THE HELL!"

Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable

They suddenly where in a room decorated in the most beautiful way even if this was the 18th century. She felt as he began to plant soft kisses around her neck and chest. She sensed a longing in the man as if this was the only thing he had wanted in quite awhile and she had to admit although neither recognized him they had a longing for him as well. How could something so wrong feel so right? She pulled the black ribbon that held his hair neatly in its place and watched as a cascade of brown silk flowed down to his broad shoulders. She looked at him yet again unable to see his face and yet she still believed as she let her fingers run through his hair that this was the most beautiful looking man in the world.

Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable

She watched as he removed his jacket leaving his old-fashioned white shirt that exposed the upper part of his chest her mouth finding its way to his as he slowly laid her down on the bed. She gently let her hair down and he watched in amazement at the long curls of reddish auburn, she pulled him closer never wanting him or this feeling to ever go away, it was then she felt his tongue enter her mouth tantalizing her own to join it in the game of two, slowly she gave in and finally let her own tongue explore his mouth causing her to moan in the immense pleasure in doing so.

The moonlight plays upon your skin
A kiss that lingers takes me in
I fall asleep inside of you
There are no words
There's only truth
Breathe in Breathe out
There is no sound
We move together up and down

She felt as he began to trail kisses all along her neck and chest yet his lips always found their way to hers, he stopped for a moment to gaze down at his beloved as if trying to create a memory, the way she tasted, smelt, felt under his fingertips and how beautiful she looked as the candles played and danced their light upon her smooth skin. His eyes began to tear up as he watched her look up at him with nothing but love, no animalistic lust but pure love. She raised herself up from under him as both knelt on the bed she pulled him intro a warm embrace then taking his face into her small hands she began to kiss away the tears that were trailing down his face soon her lips found their way to his and up to his neck stopping at his ear, she took in the sweet smell of his hair and too began to cry realizing this wasn't real and would soon wake up to face reality.

She let her lips graze his ear, her breathing entrancing him with it's smooth rhythm, her lips parted as she gently whispered the words "I Love You" although there was no sound he had understood what she said and repeated the same three meaningful words back to her. What they had wasn't just sex but a connection they couldn't describe a love so powerful it moved them to tears of joy and sorrow. She soon looked to him gazing into his eyes trailing his features with her fingertips as he did the same time, soon the two lovers lips met again and the two began to glow an eerie red color and found themselves hovering above the city close enough to where they both felt if they reached out they could touch the stars.

We move together up and down
we levitate our bodies soar
our feet don't even touch the floor
And nobody knows you like I do
The world doesn't understand
But I grow stronger in your hands

The two felt as their bodies and minds became one, each one's pain and sorrow each one's joy and laughter was witnessed by the other, It was better than sex, for sex was merely physical but what was happening was physical, emotional and someway spiritual. They held each other's bare bodies in the physical but all they could see was one another's soul. They gasped as they were released from what other worldly power had held them and returned back to earth fully clothed yet reborn into another's being.

Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable

The young man and the young girl lay down on the bed content just to hold one another in their arms as all the world seem to slip away leaving only them to rebuild it anew with their new found love. He gently kissed her forehead as she played endlessly with his brown locks each professing of their own secrets, dreams and desires.

We never sleep we're always holdin' hands
Kissin' for hours talkin' makin' plans
I feel like a better man
Just being in the same room
We never sleep there's just so much to do
Too much to say
Can't close my eyes when I'm with you
Insatiable the way I'm loving you

The held each other in that embrace until the world seemed to stop spinning and both fell fast asleep in the arms of the one they loved.

Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable

________________Back at the Xavier Institute________________

(Authors note: Song Lyrics that are italicized is Rogue's P.O.V and underlined is Scott's the one with the little * things is both of them or just their for effect of the scene)

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!. Rogue rolled off the bed with a loud THUMP! and growled as she turned her head to look at the clock which blinked in neon green 5:45 as she heard the toilet flush from the bathroom she and her perky room mate shared "No that's ok Kitty don't rush Ah got it" she grumbled sarcastically before she realized that the knocking was down the hall. She looked at her tired figure in the mirror her beautiful light green eyes descending its gaze to the ruby red rose that lay on her black dresser. She smiled as the memory of it began to fill her mind. It was the day after she almost jumped out the window he said he had been thinking of her and bought the rose for her as a gift. She remembered looking into his glasses the same deep shade of red as the rose he held in his hand and his smile his beautiful smile. Rogue wondered about the dream and if it was true, where her powers truly under control?

I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world

She lets her fingertips graze the silky red petals of her cherished rose in someway symbolizing her one-sided love for the young man of her dreams. A tear trailing down her cheek as his words played within her mind. It was late or early morning whichever you prefer, the same night as her jumping attempt, he was there to watch her, she had had another dreadful nightmare and she found herself in his arms and in her moment of weakness confessed her feelings and watched as the boy fled out with a scared look upon his face after muttering " Rogue I don't know…I love you but not like…It would never work…I don't know…I Arghh!" she looked down to her precious flower it's once beautiful red color now black the silky petals no charred crisps as it made contact with her hand, realizing her touch had killed it and that her curse still remained, she held tight on it's stem even as the thorns punctured her skin leaving drops of blood that began to grow the harder she held on. She held on to the stem not wanting to let go even though it caused immense pain she still held what used to be the rose with all her might.

but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened

Rogue yelped in pain and grasped the mirror for support driving in the thorns deeper and deeper in a rush of pain she slammed her arms against the mirror it's shards imbedding themselves into her skin her hands and arms, she sat as the pain shot through her, the world finally at peace. She looked down to her arms and hands and the blood as it dried on her skin, she hated her skin to the point she caused herself harm from time to time. She let the pain of the physical wash over her, forgetting if only for a moment the pain she felt emotionally and mentally. She heard a loud shriek probably from her roommate, that girl screamed for anything she thought "Shh…kitty…kitty…it's only a lil' blood" she said as she watched the crimson puddle begin to form as she held out her arms. "See …Ah'm ok" she said as she laughed and sobbed at the same time.

But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin

And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore

I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again

The young brunette rushing out the door to find Scott who was four doors down talking to Jean who was in her silky red nightgown looking a bit too cozy with the young man "Scott! Like what the…what the hell do you think you doing!" she said as she punched him in the jaw "Like aren't you supposed to be watching rogue!" Scott's look of fury turning into dismay as he ran down the hall and into the bedroom "Oh my God Rogue!" leaving a very pissed off Jean Grey. Scott entered the room unprepared for what he was seeing, his eyes first fell to the obviously broken mirror with the blood smeared hands prints and the blood that was running down then to the trail of blood that led him to…her

Hands on the mirror
Can't get much clearer
Can't make this all go away

"Rogue!" he rushed to her side as she began to laugh eccentrically, he looked to her eyes to try to find reason but all he found was madness and a terrified look that screamed pain and horror not noticing her arms as she held them close to her body as she held her knees to her chest. "Rogue stop it! Why did you do this? Rogue why?" she began to realize what she had done as reality began to set in, Scott turned to look at the mirror his gaze then turning to the burnt rose on the floor, he picked it and held it realizing it had been stepped on and smashed a few times as sadness struck his heart, the young man pulled out of his dream like state as he heard an ear-piercing scream

I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin

then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened

"AHHH!!!!!" Rogue held out her arms and stared, her mind finally waking up from whatever state it had been in a few moments ago and realized her actions, the young man turned to see the girls arms that had what he could guess was shards of glass although he couldn't tell as the blood continued to flow, "Fuck Rogue! What the Hell?" he said as he rushed to her side. "Ah don't know Scott…Ah don't know!" she watched as he gently took her hand not caring what would happen and looked it over, the dried blood forming a barrier between him and her skin he looked it over and inquired over the things that punctured her hand "thorns" he whispered remembering the rose he found, the rose he gave her. Her gaze then going to the ceiling he did the same and yet couldn't figure out as to what she was staring at exactly.

Now that you're bleeding
You stare at the ceiling
Watch as it all fades away:

From what you do
Because of you

You know I can be there
It's time that you call
I swore not to come
But I'm here after all

"Ah'm sorry Scott" she whispered as she laid her head on his shoulder "For what?" he asked as he stroked her hair as her body began to heal itself, a little trick she learned well took from Logan " A lot of things, Mah mother, mah actions, me and you, mah life in general" she said as she held him close. "Hey it's ok to be sorry Rogue just don't take it out on yourself ok? God Rogue! you freaking scared the shit out of me!" he said angrily yet still sincere. "Ah'm sorry…It…It…was an accident Ah swear…Ah" he knew she was lying but he let her continue wit her excuses.

I know by the look that I see
In your eyes
I won't stand around and
I won't watch you die
From what you do
Because of you
What becomes of...you

Now that you did this
You ask for forgiveness
Doctor could you be my priest?
You say you're mistaken
But look what you've taken
Your life flashed
You laugh through your teeth

He held her close till she healed and a bit longer after that to make sure she completely healed, he waited till she was suited up and they both left together to embark on their new mission both making a vow unto themselves, Scott vowing he wouldn't let any harm come to Rogue and Rogue vowing that she keep Scott out of her personal life, feeling no one should have to deal with her especially him. What they had was great whatever it was and neither wanted to jeopardize it. The two sat across from each other on the X-jet neither of them speaking a word yet when they made eye contact their gaze held a certain knowing gleam that came from their understanding and devotion to each other.

But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin

And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore

I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again

You know I can be there
It's time that you call
I swore not to come
But I'm here after all
I know by the look that I see
In your eyes
I won't stand around and
I won't watch you die
From what you do
Because of you
What becomes of...

I swore not to come
But I'm here after all
I know by the look that I see
In your eyes
I won't stand around and
I won't watch you die
From what you do
Because of you
What becomes of...

From what you do!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Somewhere in Russia~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What are you doing Remy!" the man asked as he entered the smoked filled kitchen. " Remy be makin' gumbo what it look like Remy doin'?" he said proudly as took in a spoonful of his delicious meal. "Are you trying to burn this castle down!" he said as he took the spoon and hit the Cajun on the head for his lack of sanity. "Ouch dat' hurt homme! Besides dis' castle has survived over four wars and de revulution I t'ink it can survive my cookin" he said as he forcefully pulled the spoon back and began to mindlessly stir the glob that was in the pot. The young man gazing at the Cajuns face that was pulled into a trance of some kind his eyes holding a helpless almost sad look about them. He sat on the nearby counter top made of marble and began to examine his friends strange behavior

I can't remember
The last time you cared about anything
The last time you allowed yourself to be seen
so pretentious your lies unrelenting disguise
Creating tears in your eyes your mind withers and dies
pretending to be something you are not
somewhere in the middle you are now caught
You've never seen who you really are

"So did you sleep last night in that bed of yours which is literally fit for a king?" he said jokingly as he saw his friends body become tense at the question " Yes I did" was his only response as his friend jumped off the counter with a smug expression across his face. "You lying my friend" he said as he stood next to him. "How long have we been here Remy about a week? And in that time you haven't had a good night's sleep believe me I know. What is up with you "homme"? First I found you in that little girl's room and looking through the stuff then I listen to the screams at night that come out of your room, What the hell is wrong man?" he asked concerned. The stirring stopped and he watched as it began to boil over as memories of her began to play in his mind he felt a sudden pressure as he was flung to the side as Sumertine turned off the burner.

No life breathes in you
All the time you laugh you wait you cry
No part of your life is true
All the time your life passes you by
I don't ever want to see I don't ever want to be like you, Hollow Man
I don't care what you give
Hollow man you can't live like this

"Watch what the hell your doing Remy!" he yelled at his friend yet the young man's face remained eerily placid. " Oh I get it! It's about her again! I should have figured it out when you become so weird when we arrived hear and how you tried to postpone us coming here, Well guess what Remy…she's dead!" with this the Cajun jumped up with a fire in his eyes that shocked his companion " I saw her she's alive!…she came to me last night…" he fell silent as his friend's eyes filled with pity. Sumertine new the story of a girl Remy fell in love with when he was a child after he was sent to Russia on a mission for the guild and how she and her family died in some accident, a car accident he figured, Remy was very vague on the details and how his friend had never let her go. "Remy you can't live like this! She's dead we both know it…that wasn't her it was a dream" her said as he pat his friend on the back as Remy began to let the fact that she was dead and how he had to let her go or watch himself become insane.

Your voice is just a whisper
You call upon your blank thoughts as you try
To fit in where you missed her
You missed the chance to stop living a lie

"Hey look it's still gonna be awhile till we have to get to work, why don't you go get some shut eye? Ok buddy? And after that wash your face because you look absolutely pitiful" he said as he punched his friend on the shoulder as he relished in hearing his old friend laugh once again. "Alright! Alright! And hey at least I don't look as you" he said as he left the room, he laid down as he watched the sun begin to show itself over the snow covered hills scared to go to sleep for fear he'd have to witness and experience the thing he longed for but would never have but soon his body became to strong for his will and began to close his eyes and drifted off to a peaceful sleep. As the soon rose on the young man's body his hope died and finally he learned to let go of the person who brought him so much joy and yet so much pain. Sumertine looked at the pots and pans and the mess of a kitchen not wanting to pick it up but did it anyway as he awaited his long-time friend to recover from his horrible ordeal from the previous night. He had to admit he was worried about his friend, Remy had been his best and only friend and because of that he meant a great deal to him and he wished to see him happy but not at the expense of his friends sanity. "Hopefully when we're rich he'll be happy again" it wasn't because of him any more that he wanted the money but was now for the well fare of his best friend.