"It's not a relationship," Alyse mumbled into her scarf.  "It's a stupid dance."

            "A stupid dance that you are going to look stunning at," Monica corrected. "Come on, in here.  Shoe time!"

            Alyse practically ran into her room when Monica walked her into the apartment, obviously eager to give them their space.  Shopping bags flailing, she waved to Chandler and slammed the door behind her, no doubt already speed dialing Hannah to tell her about her new possessions.

            "So… hi," Chandler said, giving Monica an unsure smile.

            "Hi," she said, smiling back with full confidence.  Her fingers gave her away;  they nervously tapped away on the countertop.

            "Did you get a dress and stuff?"

            "Yeah, we found one.  You'll like it I think."

            "What color?" Chandler asked, desperate to keep the conversation light and about dresses.

            "Um, it's like, a beige color?  Champagne, sort of?  Silk, little straps here, and it has this dark red sash with a flower pinned, right near her hip," Monica demonstrated as she described, forcing another smile out of him.  She never looked cuter, he thought.

            "Sounds nice."

            "Yeah, and shoes too.  So… she's all set."

            "Thank you, for doing that," he said sincerely.

            "Oh, of course.  I loved it.  And Rachel helped," she said.  "Well, actually she wanted her to pick this kind of slutty red one, so she didn't help much."  They laughed, and it felt good.

            "I guess now's a good time to talk," he said suddenly.  "As good a time as any, I mean, unless you have to-"

            "No, now's good.  Now's fine."

            They sat next to eachother at the kitchen counter.  He started.

            "First of all, I can't thank you enough for the other night when Alyse was gone.  You were a lifeline.  I couldn't have survived it without you."

            Monica nodded.  "I was glad you came to me with it."

            "And as far as earlier that day goes- I was beyond wrong.  I don't know how you can see past that, but you have to.  Because if Alyse's disappearance taught me anything, it's that I need you."  He took her hands in his own hesitantly.

            She took a deep breath.  "I want to see through it.  Not past it," she said.  He looked at he in confusion.  "Chandler… it's obvious you have a lot of unresolved… stuff-  about your mom's death.  And blaming yourself… it's not right, and it's not healthy, and you shouldn't-"

            "I know, I know I shouldn't have unloaded all that stuff on you."

            She looked at him.  "That's just it.  You should unload it.  And maybe you're right, maybe it can't be on me."

            He looked at her, panicked.  "What are you saying?"

            "I'm just saying that I don't want to see past it, or around it, or pretend it didn't happen.  It did happen, and it scared me, and I want you to be able to work through it and put it behind you.  Behind us," she finished, squeezing his hand. 

            "Us?" he echoed.  "Does that mean you forgive me?"

            "I was never mad at you Chandler," she said quietly, looking down.  "I was sad at you."

            He let out a little laugh.  "You were sad at me?" 

            She laughed too, hearing how silly it sounded.  "It sounds funny but it's true."

            "I don't think I can say I'm sorry enough," he said seriously.

            "I don't want you to apologize anymore, okay?  It's over, that part's done.  We're back in this, together.  And this is what I want," she began.  "I want you to try to talk to someone, professionally, about this stuff."

            "Mon- that won't work for me," he said.

            "You don't know that until you try it.  Chandler… what I saw a few days ago was just a window into how you've been torturing yourself all these years… and I can't be the one you confide in about it, at least not right now.  So I think you should try- I'm saying try, you don't have to commit to anything, just give it a shot.  And I'm not forcing you to do it or saying I won't be with you if you don't.  I just really want you to try it."  She took a deep breath after her speech.  "What do you think?"

            "I think," he said, trailing his index finger down the side of her face.  "I think that I'd do anything for you."

            She leaned in and kissed him, slowly and sweetly, their first kiss in days, and nothing had ever felt so right to either of them.  When the kiss broke, he kissed her gently on the forehead, then the nose, which made her laugh.

            "God, I missed you," she said.

            "Back atcha," he whispered, before their lips met again and led them to the bedroom, where Chandler thanked the architects of his building for the millionth time for his apartment's unusually thick walls.

            The night of Alyse's dance came quickly, because of everything that had happened that week.  Things were totally back on track for Monica and Chandler, in fact, they had never felt more connected.  Chandler had gone for his first therapy session and had actually liked his doctor, and although he still maintained that it wasn't going to work, he decided he'd try again.  It made her happy, and who knew… maybe someday, it would help him find peace.

            The entire gang was at Chandler and Alyse's that night, to send Alyse off on her first official date.  Phoebe was in charge of hair and Rachel was in charge of make-up, Ross was in charge of taking pictures, Joey was in charge of eating a lot of pizza, and Monica was in charge of keeping Chandler occupied so that he didn't totally freak out.  Her responsibility also extended to ensuring he didn't say anything to embarrass her when Justin arrived.

            Everyone was busy with their respective jobs.  Monica was talking to her brother and Joey in the living room, Rachel, Phoebe and Alyse were holed up in her bedroom, and Chandler was sort of pacing the floor in the kitchen.  Monica noticed, this, and crept up behind him, wrapping her arms around him.

            "Kinda scary, huh?" she asked.  He felt her lips brush against his ear affectionately.

            "Eh, nah, I'm cool," he lied.  She laughed.

            "Sure you are."

            "It's just nerve wracking right now, I mean, everyone has these little jobs, but what are you and I suppoesd to be doing while I wait in agony for this little punk to get here?"  He twisted around in her arms.  She smiled and kissed his lips.

            "You haven't figured it out yet?  I'm supposed to be distracting you."

            He laughed and hugged her tighter.  "Well, I think there's a few too many people here for that to happen," he whispered in her ear, prompting a giggle.

            "Okay, get ready, here she comes!" Rachel announced while opening the door to Alyse's bedroom.  Chandler and Monica parted and everyone ooh-ed and aah-ed as Alyse came out, dressed to kill.

            The dress fit her perfectly, her hair was elegantly pulled back from her face and Rachel, to her credit, had applied only minimal make-up, making Alyse's natural prettiness seem striking.  Everyone hugged her and told her how great she looked, except Chandler, who was standing there, sort of in awe of her transformation from gangly little girl to princess.

            "So, what do ya think?" she asked him finally. 

            "You look… old," he finally said.  She rolled her eyes.

            "Thanks, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me," she said sarcastically.

            Monica punched him in the shoulder.  "He means beautiful.  You look gorgeous."

            "That is what I meant, definitely.  I don't know why I said old," he recovered, hugging his sister before she pushed him away.

            "This is silk, it wrinkles!" she exclaimed.

            "I don't like you as a girl," he replied grinning.

            "So he should be here any minute," Monica said, clapping her hands excitedly.  Everyone went back to individual conversations, but Chandler, Monica, and Alyse held their little circle.

            "We set the rules, right?  His mom's picking you up after and you're coming straight home, 10:30, 11:00 at the latest, and absolutely no kissing."

            "Got it," she said. 

            "So how are you going to explain your cheering section?" Monica asked with a laugh.  "You're probably the only girl in middle school with six over protective adults sending you off to your first dance."

            "Oh the embarassment," Chandler teased.

            Alyse surveyed the scene around her; these amazing people who had dropped into their lives uninvited, unannounced.  One day it was just the two of them, and the next, they were a family. 

            "No," she said, smiling as she watched Ross take a picture of Phoebe and Joey.  "I'm the luckiest."

"I'm sorry, I know that's a
strange way to tell you
that I know we belong
that I know
that I am, I am
I am the luckiest."