Heavenly Intervention
Prologue
I know this place this place I am
The way that one world turns out is not always how it was meant to turn out. Many conflicting forces in the universe
work together to bring the world to where it is currently at in time. However there are other universes where things
turn out differently. With every decision there is an alternate decision, and with each possible alternate decision a
tangent is born and therefore a new time-line. Each action has it's own tangent and therefore an offspring time-line.
There is only one force who can alter the time-line. The ultimate being.
*******
Josh VanHalteren was upset. This was an unusual trait in him. This was a teen who was almost always happy for one
reason or another no matter how upset or angry he looked. He could look pretty upset too, but his outward
appearance usually wasn't a reflection of his inner feelings. Right now though... he was upset.
Josh was an average looking seventeen year old male with short blonde hair that was spiked and slightly curved
backwards to give a slight sonic the hedgehog type look. He wore a stylish pair of prescription sunglasses with a
yellow tint to them and wore plain clothes with no outward brand names, most of the time baggy blue jeans and a
muscle shirt of some plain colour like black or white. He didn't delude himself into thinking that he was muscular or
anything, it was just a convenient and simple style. On the contrary he was actually very skinny, he never seemed to
gain or lose any weight. He always stayed at a steady weight of 165 pounds.
The events that led up to his current bad mood were, as usual, family related. They were really the only people that
could really truly upset him. Nobody else could seem to do so, no matter how hard they tried. Currently he walking
down the main street of his town muttering curses and profanity directed towards the people responsible. His vision
was clouded with thoughts of what nasty and vicious things he would do in return to them, playing scenarios over in
his head that would definitely never come to pass.
Normally he was a very careful person as well and had never broken a single bone in his body due to the precautions
he always takes like looking both ways before crossing the road. That's the exact precaution that he forgot to follow
this time.
He didn't see the truck.
*********
"What the?" Josh snapped awake into consciousness with a start. The last thing he remembered was walking across
the street, to go to VanHalteren's Music Centre. "Where the hell am I?" He mused to himself as was a habit for him.
Josh looked up at a voice that chuckled at his question.
"Just the opposite lucky guy." Came the voice, Josh stood up out of the puddle he was laying in and looked up at the
man. He was a very old man with a long grey beard, yet he seemed to carry about him a very pleasant and friendly
demeanor.
"Where is this place?" Josh asked the man, not bothering to wring the water out of his now soaked shirt. He looked
around at his surroundings and noticed that it seemed to be perfect. It was like a scene out of Lord of the Rings. Lush
forests stretching as far as the eye can see, mountains looming overhead. It was the most beautiful piece of scenery he
had ever encountered. It was like...
"Heaven, believe it or not." The old man said as he opened the book that he was holding. "Or rather your version of it
Joshua Daryl Adam VanHalteren."
Josh looked over to the man with the book with surprise written on his features. "How do you...?" He wondered.
The man chuckled again. "Oh I know a lot of things about a lot of people. It's my job to." The man then leaned closer
to Josh. "That and I'm pretty close to the son of you know who." He chuckled again and put a checkmark beside
Joshes name in the book. "Your in!" He stated happily. "The big guy seems to think fondly of you for some reason,
heh, either that or he's read your mind and feels like causing a little mischief. God can be quite the prankster."
Josh looked around and noticed that there was two trees nearby the old man the were made out of solid gold. "Why
am I here?" Josh asked.
The old man flipped through a few pages in his book and put on his reading spectacles that were hanging around his
neck. "Let's see..." He slammed the book and smiled mischievously at Josh. "You got ran over by a very big truck."
He said.
"Oh." Josh said. "That's not a very cool way to go." Josh muttered. He shook his head and turned serious. "No that's
not what I meant. I mean why am I here in heaven? It's not my time! I'm young! I have my whole life ahead of me. I
was going to become a movie director!"
The old man glanced down at the book and shook his head. "I'm afraid it doesn't work that way Josh. I don't have all
of the answers but there's somebody through those trees that does. If he likes you, mind you he likes most everybody,
then he'll answer your questions." He said, motioning with his thumb in between the two golden trees.
Josh smiled. "I take it your talking about God?"
The old man chuckled and shook his head. "He doesn't like being called that by his friends and all us other folks up
here in heaven. He likes being called Phil."
Josh looked at the man incredulously. "Your kidding right?"
The man shook his head.
Josh looked towards the two golden trees that seemed to be calling out to him and sighed. "I guess I've got nothing
left to lose huh?" He asked, more to himself than to the old man. Josh gave another sigh and walked between the
trees. The moment he touched the area between them an invisible portal opened up and the next thing he knew he was
looking at a vast technologically advanced city that had a classic elvin appearance that made it look... heavenly.
"Wow!" Josh stated as he looked around at the high rises and flying cars. "This is incredible."
Josh then felt a tugging at his pant leg and looked down to see what was causing the disturbance. There at his feet
was a gremlin just like off of Gremlins 2 the movie that was his favourite when he was a younger kid.. Josh stared at
the thing with surprise and then it just smiled up at him with his sharp pointy teeth. "What are...?" Josh started.
The Gremlin held up a hand to stop his questions. "I am a Gribble."
"A Gri-wha?"
The little thing started walking at a fast pace ahead of Josh and he was forced to follow. By some sort of compelling
force, which he could not explain. "A Gribble." The thing continued. "Whenever Heaven gets a new occupant it sends
one of us Gribbles to you as a tour guide. We take you where you want to go, when you want to go, and in your case
where you need to go."
Josh followed behind the Gribble at a steady pace so as not to be rushed by the compelling force. "So why is it that
you look like a Gremlin?"
"Us Gribbles are more like heaven pets. When our charge, or new master if you will, enters the pearly gates, as you
humans call them, we take the form of the pet they've always desired to have... it gives them a sense of security. In
your case, you wanted a Gremlin ever since you were 5."
Josh looked thoughtful as he contemplated the situation. "So what you're saying is that some power takes mental
needs and wants from my memories to make the ascent into heaven as less of a shock and as comfortable as possible
so that I don't freak out."
The Gribble smiled, pointed at Josh and nodded. "You got it."
"So if you're taking me where I need to go... where are we going." Josh asked, now a little less shocked about the
whole fact that he was dead now.
The Gribble slowed down a bit. "This is heaven so everyone gets treated like kings. I'm taking you to the decision
center."
Josh looked at the little green man funny-like. "Decision center? That doesn't sound like a place for kings to me."
The Gremlin materialized a little blue card and stepped into an elevator-like apparatus. "The Decision center is where
occupants of Heaven stay until they decide what they want to do with their afterlife. They could be reincarnated, they
could have their own personal heaven, or they could be risky and file a special request to Phil."
"You mean God right?"
The Gribble nodded. "Yup! But try to call him phil as much as possible, especially if you plan on making a special
request. It'll give you better chances with getting the request you want."
Josh felt a quick pulse once the doors to the elevator closed and then they opened a moment later and they were in a
completely different area. They stepped out of the elevator thing and continued their conversation as they walked
towards a gigantic building that seemed to stretch on for miles in all directions.
"What kind of stuff do people's special requests turn out to be?" Josh asked the little Gremlin look-a-like.
It snickered. "Oh I'm betting that you'd get an absolute riot out of some of the requests we get." The Gribble started.
"People almost always create elaborate alternate universes with aspects of all their favorite T.V. shows, or their own
special universes where they're all powerful mortals. You should see some of the stuff that famous writers give us.
Their descriptions are all detailed in huge books. God always just reads the blurb on the back and then generalizes. He
likes to mess with the people who have the special requests."
Josh was confused again. "What's the difference between your own personal heaven and a special request?"
"In your own personal heaven you can do anything you want, have it look like anywhere you want, have anyone you
want show up, but... there's no such thing as pain, there's a certain air about the eternity that's very unrealistic. The
people who ask for special requests get to have virtually the same thing, they get to keep their memories of their past
life, AND of heaven if they so choose, but they get to be mortal in a world of their choice."
Josh marveled at that as they neared the building. He got a distant starry eyed expression on his face and smiled as he
thought of all the unique experiences that he could have with one of the special request. The Gribble smiled as he
looked up at Josh. "You've already decided which of the three choices you want, haven't you?" He asked the short
blonde haired boy.
Josh nodded. "I want to file for a special request with God... I mean Phil."
"That's good! It's a rare thing when somebody decides right off the bat." It stated happily. "But, I suggest you think
about it for a week, or two before submitting your proposal. Phil is very tricky and since special requests are rare with
people he likes to play games and observe over the happenings of the worlds he creates for the requestee. You have
to word your proposal very carefully because he likes to play with your words and throw in interesting twists based
on your thoughts, emotions and virtually anything he can dig up."
Josh smiled and rubbed his goatee thoughtfully. "I think I'll be able to come up with it in less than a week." He
muttered as he and the Gribble entered the Decision center, which was actually just an oversized apartment with
nothing but penthouse suites. The Gribble walked over to the front desk where a beautiful woman was sitting.
"Hello 426!" She said cheerfully.
"Hey Diane!" The Gribble called.
"Has your charge given you a name yet?" She asked, anxious to find out what it was.
The little Gribble looked away from her for a moment and then shook his head no. "I haven't really told him that yet."
"Told me what?" Josh asked his curiosity peaked.
426 sighed and looked down. "Since I'm your charge I'm your pet as well, for your entire afterlife, that includes any
special requests that get granted. You're supposed to give me a name."
Josh looked thoughtful and then shrugged. "I'll have to think on that one. I'm not great with names." 426 nodded and
turned back to Diane. He materialized a little green card and gave it to her. She smiled and gave him a little key. The
Gribble named 426 turned around, and jabbed it into Joshes palm.
Joshes immediate reaction was to glare at the little creature and hold his hand in pain. He then looked to his hand
where the little key was lodged and looked surprised. "That... didn't hurt." He muttered.
The Gribble began to walk with Josh towards another elevator. "Of course it didn't hurt, you're dead, and now
you're immortal. So long as your in heaven..."
"I can't feel pain."
"Bingo!"
Josh stopped as he watched the key imbedded in his palm start to melt into a glowing green goo that rearranged itself
into a strange circular pattern of glowing green goo on his hand and then melted into it, erasing all traces of itself.
"What was that thing you poked me with?" He asked the little Gremlin pet that now belonged to him.
"That is a heaven pass: Level one. It allows you anywhere in heaven, it opens any door or lock that it authorized to
level ones. All you have to do is raise your hand over whatever scan pad is by the door and it'll open up. There's one
on your penthouse suite, you'll get lots of practice, most everything in your suite is powered by that little goo
spinning around in your hand." 426 said as they entered the elevator.
They arrived a moment later on the proper floor that Joshes suite was on. It was about that time that Josh noticed two
numbers on the back of his left hand, 426, and 895n. He showed them to Gribble 426. "What are these?" He asked.
The Gribble pointed to the first one. "This first number is your appointed Gribble, the number changes to the name
you give me when you decide. The second one is your file number and penthouse room number." 426 pulled away
and started walking down the hallways looking at each door as he passed by them. He stopped about seven doors
down and Josh looked at the number on the door. Sure enough it read 895n. Josh held his hand up to a little scan pad
at the side of the door and the green glowing pattern reappeared there, unlocking the door.
Josh walked into the penthouse and his jaw dropped at the sheer hugeness of the entire place. It was like his dream
home, there was an indoor swimming pool with diving boards, a hot tub, his own theater a movie library full of
DVDs, a water bed, and one thing that he only ever dreamed of, repeatedly, an automatic food synthesizer. "Oh my
God!" He said shocked that all this was his.
"Phil." 426 corrected.
Josh walked into the room and marveled at the sheer size of it. "How do you fit everything in this place?" He
wondered running around and looking at everything closeup, touching everything to make sure it was real.
"This is heaven." The Gribble said. "Physics don't all apply here."
Josh turned his head and eyed the food synthesizer and then ran towards it as fast as he could, jumping over the bed
and stopping mere scant inches from the device. He picked up a little instruction manual the lay beside the machine
and glanced over a certain section. He smiled maniacally and punched in a number. "Chalupa." He muttered, nearly
drooling. The food he ordered appeared in mere seconds and he pulled it out.
The Gribble looked confused. "You have a food synthesizer that could bring you any type of food in the entire
multiverse and the first thing you get is Taco Bell?"
Josh didn't reply, he just wolfed down his Chalupa. He belched and then smiled contentedly before falling down onto
the bed. The Gremlin hopped onto the bed with a questioning look. Josh smiled. "Oh right. I've never had a chance to
ever go to Taco Bell when I was living. I've always wanted to try it. This truly is heaven." Josh just lay there in the
bed contentedly for a moment and then looked towards 426. "Are you going to be staying in my room with me?" He
asked the little Gremlin.
The Gremlin fell back onto one of the pillows. "Yup! That's one of the perks to being a Gribble. We get to share our
charges room and participate in every luxury that they have. You have a lot of fun stuff to do around here, I probably
won't get bored."
Josh sat up and looked at the Gribble quizzically. "Hey 426."
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever been mortal? Or are you a being that's never existed out of heaven?"
The little green creature shook his head. "I've never been mortal. It's kind of a shame cause there's some things that
mortals get that we Gribbles will never have."
"What's that?" Josh asked, now completely entranced in the conversation.
"Pain...not the greatest feeling but it's a feeling that exists nonetheless. Love is the big one, we Gribbles can never
love because we aren't created with the ability to feel that. The same thing goes for hate. Most of us Gribbles long to
feel those things but know that we never will." 426 said.
"I guess those are things that we take for granted aren't they?" Josh and 426 sat there in silence for a bit, neither of
them looking at each other... they just sat there. The uncomfortable silence was broken by a knock on the door. Josh
looked up at the door a little confused but got up to answer it. "Who on earth..."
"Heaven." The Gribble corrected.
Josh rolled his eyes as he walked towards the door. "You know what I mean." The Gribble snickered as Josh opened
the door. He was shocked at who he saw. "Uhh hi?" Josh said. The two people who appeared at his door bore a
striking resemblance to two characters on a anime that his best friend always obsessed over. Josh pointed a shaky
hand at the man with a look of confusion. "Goku? I take it?"
The man looked at Josh confused. "How'd you know?" The man asked.
Josh boggled at the idea that anime characters actually existed. "In my world, there's an anime a cartoon called
DragonBall Z. You're the main character."
The woman who was no doubt Chi Chi. Smiled. "We get that once in a while. We're from a tangent universe where
we died." She smiled. "I'm Chi Chi and this is my Husband Goku. We're you new neighbors while you're here in
heaven, if you need anything just ask." She said with a smile.
Josh smiled back. "I will thank you for stopping by." The pair left a moment later and Josh closed the door.
"Heaven's a lot more complicated than I thought. Do all the alternate universe characters that die come here as well?"
He asked the Gribble.
"You just saw dead proof. Anything good, that dies comes to heaven, humans, dogs, rabbits, aliens. You name it it's
here." 426 said.
Josh smiled. "Even cats?"
The Gribble frowned. "Uhh no actually. All cats go to Hell." The Gremlin said in a dull monotone.
Josh looked confused. "Huh? Why?"
"All Cats are actually evil, they put on a facade of cuteness but they're actually all plotting to take over the world.
Also whenever something important goes missing in a house that owns a cat, it was the cat. They're all evil and Phil
hates them."
"Isn't Phil all forgiving or something?" Josh asked as he walked back over to the synthesizer.
The Gribble smiled. "Actually Phil let a cat into heaven once to give it a chance. It nearly destroyed heaven. From
then on cats got banished straight to hell."
Josh chuckled. "That's cool. Does he take in any suicides?"
"Actually he takes in a few that he has pity on. Kids who had hard lives and such." The Gribble said.
"So no suicide bombers?"
"Nope they go straight to hell also, directly to one of the deepest levels too."
Josh punched in a random number and came out with an odd plate full of something unrecognizable, but it smelled
good. "What the heck." Josh started eating.
**************
A week passed and Josh was having the time of his life, or time of his death if you will. His penthouse had everything,
supercomputers, movie theaters, rock climbing, hot tubs, pools, food, personal holographic martial arts instructors
with artificial intelligence, weight room. Everything he's ever wanted. Josh was currently in the holo-room learning
advanced martial arts. Gribble number 426 was watching from a doorway with a bored expression. Josh just finished
defeating a holographic opponent and shut down the lesson so he could go get something to eat.
"I've never felt this good, ever!" Josh said as he walked out of the room.
The Gribble followed him with a disappointed expression on his face. "Josh. Are you going to do anything else?
You've been doing nothing but practice and learn martial arts for the last six days."
Josh smiled. "When you don't need to sleep, you can learn much more in a shorter period of time."
"Your obsessed!" 426 stated.
"I'm getting fit!" Josh said back. "I've always swore to myself that if I ever had the time I'd spend all of it learning the
art. My body is feeling better than ever and I'm a great fighter now."
"Why don't you take a break?" He asked. "You've only been taking breaks to eat."
"Well I'm done for now. I'm taking a day off." Josh punched in a number for a slice of Tony's pizza. "Besides, I've
mastered four styles of martial arts in record time." Josh sat down and started eating.
The Gremlin sat down beside him and looked up at him with worry in his eyes. "You've got a funny look in your
eyes." He said. "Is there something you're not telling me?" 426 asked his charge.
Josh smiled wide. "I've decided what I want my special request to be."
"So I guess this is the last time I see you until you die again huh?" The little Gribble asked.
Josh smiled mischievously at the little green Gremlin. "Come on, show me where I have to file for my request." Josh
said as he got up off his seat and ran towards the door. The Gremlin rushed to catch up.
*****************
"God has god one nice pad!" Jos said as he looked up at the futuristic looking mile high tower. It was surrounded by
beautiful women with wings, skimpy armor, and large pulse laser cannons. "This is SO COOL!" Josh yelled as he
looked up at the gigantic black spire, with the endless blue lights running up the sides.
The Gremlin pointed up to the top of the tower. "Phil resides on the very top of the tower. All special requests are
given directly to him. Where's your request papers?" He asked Josh, noticing that he didn't have his with him.
Josh looked down at the little green man. "Huh? Oh! I'm not giving him it in writing. I'm going to give my request
verbally." He said with a confident smile.
The Gribble looked at the teen like he was completely mad. "That hasn't been done in five hundred years. I don't
know if Phil even like giving verbal requests like that. He sticks with a strict system here in heaven."
"I'm sure Phil is the coolest person in existence." Josh said. "He's gotta go for my simple request."
Josh walked up to the elevator that was the only door on the tower, held out his palm to the scan pad and stepped
inside. Gribble number 426 followed. Josh felt a goofy giddyness as he stood waiting for the doors to the elevator to
close. He looked down to the Gribble and wiggled his eyebrows. He then spoke in a deep goofy voice. "Time to se
the big man!" The doors then closed and opened a moment later into the god lobby.
They walked out and noticed that it was an empty waiting room with a receptionist at a desk near a large set of
double doors. Like most of the receptionists she was a beautiful woman, except she had distinct alien appearance, she
had large black eyes and no nose, just two nostrils. Her hair consisted of long greenish coloured tendrils, she had no
ears and her skin was all a greenish grey colour. "Hold out your right hand please." She said, seemingly not paying
attention to Josh, who noticed that she was currently reading an issue of YM. Josh held out his hand as she requested
and she put a little scanner on it. The scanner flashed and then the double doors beside the desk opened up for Josh
and 426s entry. The alien woman took the scanner back from Joshes hand and pointed to the open doors. "Phil's
waiting for you." She said before turning back to her teen magazine.
Josh walked warily up to the doors. He couldn't help but think that he was rushing it. In truth he just came up with a
special request on the spot while he was eating his pizza so that he could see what god looked like. *Oh shit!* He
thought. *This is not a good idea.* as he passed through the doors into God's office he began to panic on the inside.
*I better not freeze up.* he thought. *Improvising isn't so hard, but improvising in front of God? What have I gotten
myself into?* He wondered mentally.
Finally he and 426 came upon God. The almighty sat upon her rotating business chair at a black desk, playing a video
game on her laptop computer. Josh pointed at the woman with the long black hair in utter shock. "You're...
You're..."
The woman looked up and sighed. "Damn it! She didn't ring you in did she. CLORISTA!! ONE MORE STRIKE
AND YOU ARE FIRED!!!" She screamed out the door angrily. She then sat back down on her chair and looked
back to Josh. "Hello Mr. VanHalteren. I'm God. But Please, call me Phil."
Josh just looked shocked and pointed at Phil. "You're a... You're a...g...g...g...g."
Phil chuckled. "Yes. I'm a girl. I'm a busy almighty being so can you please cut the stutter and get to your request?"
She asked pleasantly.
Josh took a deep breath and calmed himself down. "Okay."
Phil held out her hand and made a gimme gimme gesture with her fingers. "Hand me your request papers." She said.
Josh shook himself out of his stupor once again and just stood there twiddling his thumbs. "Uhm is it all right if I
present my request orally?" Josh asked. "Please?"
God nodded and leaned back and smiled pleasantly. "Sure! I haven't had an oral request in five hundred years. It'd be
nice for a little change."
Josh nodded, much more relieved with his current situation. "Okay, uhh here goes. There's this really funny anime
that I used to watch when I was alive called Ranma 1/2. I want to, uhh, be sort of reincarnated as a character in that
universe within the Ranma cast in Nerima."
"Is that all?" Phil asked with a mischievous smile.
Josh began to sweat under her gaze and was about to nod his affirmation when he looked down at Gribble Number
426. "Actually I also want to keep all of my memories of my past life and of my time in heaven. I also want to keep
the level one door opener thing." Josh looked down to 426 and smiled. "I also want Gribble number 426 to go with
me and have a complete array of human emotions. I want him in the form he's in now so that I can recognize him
too."
Phil smiled at the unique request and began thinking of ways she make it interesting. "Very well I shall grant your
request. The next time you wake up... you will be a character from Ranma 1/2."
Josh smiled. "Wow thank you Go... I mean Phil." He quickly corrected himself.
She opened up her laptop and smiled as she waved them of. "It was my pleasure." She said. "Now go on back to your
penthouse, have one last day of fun here in heaven and then get some rest. Tomorrow, you start a new life."
Josh smiled, and waved to Phil as he left the room and the doors closed. The moment he was gone Phil opened up
Joshes personal file on her computer and smiled as she looked up all his memories of the show and his emotions
directed towards certain characters. She then created a tangent cannon time line and began tweaking things for joshes
alternate universe. "What if, and then I could... oooh he seems to hate this Akane persons guts. I'll just tweak this one
last aspect and enter aaaaand enter!" Phil leaned back in her chair and smiled. "Joshua Daryl Adam VanHalteren... the
next time you wake up, you'll be a whole new...man." God then laughed like a madman for about a minute before
calming down and wiping a tear from her eye. "Sometimes I can be so cruel." She muttered.
******************
authors notes: {Yeah I just came up with this on a whim. I wanted to do a Self Insertion with a planned plot and
without Evan co-writing. This time I'm the only one being inserted and I'm staying in Ranma 1/2... with one little
twist. I've made heaven quite different from the white clouds and God being light, and pearly gate and all that. It's all
there but in different forms. Hell, God was a girl named Phil. I"m hoping that I can have some fun with this one. I
haven't heard of anybody Self Inserting themselves in this manner so I thought I'd give it a shot. The best part about
writing this one so far is that I get to kill myself within the first few paragraphs. That's always good for a laugh. I
managed to pump this first chapter out in one day too, not a bad speed at all for a new idea. Don't worry though
faithful readers. I will not abandon any of my other stories for this. This is now one of my regulars but DB, AR, and
AM come first, then this... then SI and if Hung Nguyan ever gets to passing RIB to me then that'll be a regular as
well. You wouldn't see me keep people hanging if I was passing on a story. Sheesh! Well that's all the ranting I'll
throw at you today. BYE!}
Morden Night: [email protected]