"Where were you?" Kaylen asked the next afternoon at lunch. All the
seventh years had returned from Hogsmeade, eager to discuss their
adventures with the jealous fifth and sixth years.
"I came back," Lily said, poking food around her plate. She hadn't seen Remus yet that day, but she was eager to. She could picture his face full of guilt and she wanted to assure him that it wasn't his fault. She should have paid closer attention when she saw the full moon dawning. She should have known that the full moon was going to be that night. So should someone else, though. Why hadn't Dumbledore or someone warned Remus that there would be a full moon and he shouldn't go to Hogsmeade?
Kaylen looked sad. "I guess the date didn't go too well then?"
"It went okay. I was just tired and wanted to come back." Lily wasn't too open to discussing the incident. She had passed James Potter in the corridor that morning and he had only smiled, not saying a word about saving her life. She didn't know how to thank him so she simply smiled, sure that her gesture said it all for her.
The day wore on and Lily spent much of it in a stupor. She searched the castle hallways at least once every two hours or so in search of Remus, but to no avail. It seemed he had disappeared off the face of the planet. No one had seen or heard from him. Kaylen tried to persuade Lily into going to his dorm room to look for him, but Lily wasn't that eager to find him. Instead, she waited around impatiently in the common room for him to walk through the door.
That evening, Lily went to bed early, as she did most Sundays. She wanted to get an early start in the morning, giving her time to prepare for her first class, which contained Remus. But something awoke her around the hour of two in the morning. What it was, she could not say. Instead, she got up silently and made her way down the staircase and out the common room portrait hole. Feeling that she needed some fresh air, she headed towards the grassy lawn and up the hill towards the water.
A dark figure already occupied the place she was seeking so she tried to reroute her path before noticing who the figure was. "Remus?"
He looked up. Underneath his eyes were dark circles and he looked more tired and worn out than Lily had ever seen him. She was pretty sure that transforming into a werewolf took a lot of energy, but this was something else. She dropped to the ground beside him, lifting his face to meet hers. "What happened?"
"I didn't sleep much the other night," he confessed. "And I'm not tired now."
"Remus, you should really get some sleep," she chastised him softly. "You'll be exhausted tomorrow."
"You're right. But I feel guilty."
"About what?"
He looked at her like she had three heads. "I almost attacked you, Lily. If James hadn't shown up, I don't know what would have happened.
"Although I did think I had hurt you when I was unfrozen and saw you were gone. James told me when I entered the tavern that you had run back to the castle." He dropped his head. "Lily, I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," she emphasized. "It's not your fault."
"I should have known better," he continued, not paying much attention to her. "Dumbledore said he'd only let me go if I promised to go into the Shrieking Shack before the full moon was in complete view. But I lost track of time." He looked up again. "I love being with you, Lily. You're like a fresh of breath air into my dull life. And I'm sorry to endanger you the way I did."
"The Shrieking Shack?" Lily's mind was whirling. "Why the Shrieking Shack?"
Remus sighed. "Lily, there's so much I have to tell you, but I'll give you the short version. James, Peter, Sirius and I are like brothers. We call ourselves the Marauders. Anyway, we have a map, one that we devised that shows every escape route out of Hogwarts, including one into the building in Hogsmeade, known as the Shrieking Shack. Each month, I go there to transform."
"That's where you were going!" Lily said thoughtfully. Seeing Remus' curious face, she continued, "Kaylen and I were out for a late night stroll one evening and saw you going down a secret passageway. We didn't know where it led, but soon after we saw the rest of the Marauders following."
Remus nodded slowly. "Right. That passageway leads to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade through underground. When I told the others how I was a werewolf, they decided to make a change to better themselves so they could join me every month in the Shrieking Shack while I transformed."
"What did they do?" Lily asked, almost afraid.
"They became Animagi."
Silence reigned following this comment. "But that's really hard to do," Lily finally said, in shock. "Only the greatest witches and wizards can do it. And the Ministry has a record of all Animagi. Is it really possible?"
"It is and they did it," Remus said, smiling at the memories. Peter turned into a rat, Sirius into a black dog, and James into a stag. Werewolves only attack humans, not other animals." Once again, Remus' face became still as stone as he remembered the events from the previous night. "Lily, I'm really sorry."
"Don't be," she repeated. "I told you, it wasn't your fault."
"Do you care about me?" he asked suddenly and Lily was taken aback.
"Yes," she eventually answered. "A lot."
"Then will you do me a favour?"
"It depends on what it is, Remus."
He sighed. "I care about you, too, Lily, so this is going to be really difficult. I don't think we should see each other anymore. Don't take this offensively, but I'm a threat to you. I don't think it's wise that we're around each other anymore."
"What?" Lily felt anger rage into her brain. "Remus, I can handle you not wanting me to be your girlfriend anymore, but losing our friendship? That I can't handle."
"Lily, you're missing the point. I do want you to be my girlfriend, but I just don't think it's a good idea. I'm willing to keep our friendship, for that, too, is very dear to me. Besides, James really likes you."
"I thought you liked me."
"I do, Lily, that's just the point."
"Then why are you trying to pawn me off on James?" Lily felt hurt and confused by all that was going on. In the last few minutes she felt she had learned more than she had in the entire year.
"I care about you, Lily, and I don't want to hurt you. Physically or emotionally."
"So you figure if you get me to go out with James, I'll stop hanging around you and my life won't be in danger?"
"Well, I wouldn't have said it that way, but kind of." Remus smiled to show he was joking. "Lily, you'll have to understand. I do care about you and I have for a long time. That's why I think it's best if we take things slow. In a few years, if things are still strong, then sure, I'll take the chance. But for now, I think it's better we stay friends."
Lily stayed silent. She wasn't angry; no, she was far from angry. She completely understood the fact that Remus was looking out for her safety. But she felt guilty for not feeling all that bad. The prospect of dating someone as exciting and hyped up as James Potter gave her a start of electricity. She turned away from the glistening water and stared at Remus.
"Maybe you're right," she said slowly. "I know you mean well and I can't tell you how much these past few weeks have meant to me."
"I know," Remus said, sitting up proudly. "I'm a work of art."
Lily giggled and shoved him. "You're such a geek! Come on, it's getting cold outside; let's go in." She stood up and extended her hands to help him up. Instead of pulling himself off the ground, he gently pulled her close to him.
"Friends?" he asked, staring deep into her eyes. Her face was only inches from his and he could see everything she felt inside through her eyes.
"Friends," she confirmed. "Forever."
"I came back," Lily said, poking food around her plate. She hadn't seen Remus yet that day, but she was eager to. She could picture his face full of guilt and she wanted to assure him that it wasn't his fault. She should have paid closer attention when she saw the full moon dawning. She should have known that the full moon was going to be that night. So should someone else, though. Why hadn't Dumbledore or someone warned Remus that there would be a full moon and he shouldn't go to Hogsmeade?
Kaylen looked sad. "I guess the date didn't go too well then?"
"It went okay. I was just tired and wanted to come back." Lily wasn't too open to discussing the incident. She had passed James Potter in the corridor that morning and he had only smiled, not saying a word about saving her life. She didn't know how to thank him so she simply smiled, sure that her gesture said it all for her.
The day wore on and Lily spent much of it in a stupor. She searched the castle hallways at least once every two hours or so in search of Remus, but to no avail. It seemed he had disappeared off the face of the planet. No one had seen or heard from him. Kaylen tried to persuade Lily into going to his dorm room to look for him, but Lily wasn't that eager to find him. Instead, she waited around impatiently in the common room for him to walk through the door.
That evening, Lily went to bed early, as she did most Sundays. She wanted to get an early start in the morning, giving her time to prepare for her first class, which contained Remus. But something awoke her around the hour of two in the morning. What it was, she could not say. Instead, she got up silently and made her way down the staircase and out the common room portrait hole. Feeling that she needed some fresh air, she headed towards the grassy lawn and up the hill towards the water.
A dark figure already occupied the place she was seeking so she tried to reroute her path before noticing who the figure was. "Remus?"
He looked up. Underneath his eyes were dark circles and he looked more tired and worn out than Lily had ever seen him. She was pretty sure that transforming into a werewolf took a lot of energy, but this was something else. She dropped to the ground beside him, lifting his face to meet hers. "What happened?"
"I didn't sleep much the other night," he confessed. "And I'm not tired now."
"Remus, you should really get some sleep," she chastised him softly. "You'll be exhausted tomorrow."
"You're right. But I feel guilty."
"About what?"
He looked at her like she had three heads. "I almost attacked you, Lily. If James hadn't shown up, I don't know what would have happened.
"Although I did think I had hurt you when I was unfrozen and saw you were gone. James told me when I entered the tavern that you had run back to the castle." He dropped his head. "Lily, I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," she emphasized. "It's not your fault."
"I should have known better," he continued, not paying much attention to her. "Dumbledore said he'd only let me go if I promised to go into the Shrieking Shack before the full moon was in complete view. But I lost track of time." He looked up again. "I love being with you, Lily. You're like a fresh of breath air into my dull life. And I'm sorry to endanger you the way I did."
"The Shrieking Shack?" Lily's mind was whirling. "Why the Shrieking Shack?"
Remus sighed. "Lily, there's so much I have to tell you, but I'll give you the short version. James, Peter, Sirius and I are like brothers. We call ourselves the Marauders. Anyway, we have a map, one that we devised that shows every escape route out of Hogwarts, including one into the building in Hogsmeade, known as the Shrieking Shack. Each month, I go there to transform."
"That's where you were going!" Lily said thoughtfully. Seeing Remus' curious face, she continued, "Kaylen and I were out for a late night stroll one evening and saw you going down a secret passageway. We didn't know where it led, but soon after we saw the rest of the Marauders following."
Remus nodded slowly. "Right. That passageway leads to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade through underground. When I told the others how I was a werewolf, they decided to make a change to better themselves so they could join me every month in the Shrieking Shack while I transformed."
"What did they do?" Lily asked, almost afraid.
"They became Animagi."
Silence reigned following this comment. "But that's really hard to do," Lily finally said, in shock. "Only the greatest witches and wizards can do it. And the Ministry has a record of all Animagi. Is it really possible?"
"It is and they did it," Remus said, smiling at the memories. Peter turned into a rat, Sirius into a black dog, and James into a stag. Werewolves only attack humans, not other animals." Once again, Remus' face became still as stone as he remembered the events from the previous night. "Lily, I'm really sorry."
"Don't be," she repeated. "I told you, it wasn't your fault."
"Do you care about me?" he asked suddenly and Lily was taken aback.
"Yes," she eventually answered. "A lot."
"Then will you do me a favour?"
"It depends on what it is, Remus."
He sighed. "I care about you, too, Lily, so this is going to be really difficult. I don't think we should see each other anymore. Don't take this offensively, but I'm a threat to you. I don't think it's wise that we're around each other anymore."
"What?" Lily felt anger rage into her brain. "Remus, I can handle you not wanting me to be your girlfriend anymore, but losing our friendship? That I can't handle."
"Lily, you're missing the point. I do want you to be my girlfriend, but I just don't think it's a good idea. I'm willing to keep our friendship, for that, too, is very dear to me. Besides, James really likes you."
"I thought you liked me."
"I do, Lily, that's just the point."
"Then why are you trying to pawn me off on James?" Lily felt hurt and confused by all that was going on. In the last few minutes she felt she had learned more than she had in the entire year.
"I care about you, Lily, and I don't want to hurt you. Physically or emotionally."
"So you figure if you get me to go out with James, I'll stop hanging around you and my life won't be in danger?"
"Well, I wouldn't have said it that way, but kind of." Remus smiled to show he was joking. "Lily, you'll have to understand. I do care about you and I have for a long time. That's why I think it's best if we take things slow. In a few years, if things are still strong, then sure, I'll take the chance. But for now, I think it's better we stay friends."
Lily stayed silent. She wasn't angry; no, she was far from angry. She completely understood the fact that Remus was looking out for her safety. But she felt guilty for not feeling all that bad. The prospect of dating someone as exciting and hyped up as James Potter gave her a start of electricity. She turned away from the glistening water and stared at Remus.
"Maybe you're right," she said slowly. "I know you mean well and I can't tell you how much these past few weeks have meant to me."
"I know," Remus said, sitting up proudly. "I'm a work of art."
Lily giggled and shoved him. "You're such a geek! Come on, it's getting cold outside; let's go in." She stood up and extended her hands to help him up. Instead of pulling himself off the ground, he gently pulled her close to him.
"Friends?" he asked, staring deep into her eyes. Her face was only inches from his and he could see everything she felt inside through her eyes.
"Friends," she confirmed. "Forever."