Disclaimer : Hellsing and all its characters are copyright of Kouta Hirano, GONZO and associated companies, no profit gained from this fic, except, I hope, your appreciation. Thank you for reading this one's written in 2003 and just recently rewritten, for the better. enjoy, and let me know your thought :)

A Night Less Ordinary

"I'm sorry Sire… if only I had realized sooner"

"Look carefully, Policegirl. See her strength in battle."

"Battle?"

"Integra will rip you apart and spill your blood. She lives only wanting to fight. Giving up will kill her. Because once she refuses to give up, that's when she, my master, live up to her pride."

...

Seras Victoria closed her eyes, the piece of conversation between herself and Alucard echoed inside her head. She remembered every word of it, she remembered the way Alucard fix his gaze on Integra the whole time in the surgery; so intense, absorbed. Anxious, but not quite worried, but enough to keep his signature smirk off his face. Fascinated, but not excited, unlike the kind that he had always emanated on the throes a battle. She could sense all of those feelings inside of him. She supposed it was because the Sire-Childe slash Master-Apprentice-slash-Patron-Protégé connection she had with him. Or whatever.

She had been wondering what word would fit to describe it; that emotion churning inside the nosferatu at that time. And after a night, she found it.

It was trust.

Her Sire trusted Integra. He had believed that she would survive; the only thing left to do for him was to watch. Still, Seras supposed, even when Alucard had only taken the role of spectator, he had been a supportive, cheering one. Not unlike those coaches on movies, only less verbal. It had been obvious to her that, beyond words, Alucard had been communicating with Integra then. Taunting, challenging, daring her to keep alive.

Realizing so gave an odd flicker inside her chest. It had been… uncomfortable, and it's not helping that from the pit of her stomach came bolting an incredible urge to distract him from her. She had attempted to do so by trying to say something to her Sire, to stretch the finished conversation further, but for some reason she couldn't; the sheer intensity alone had locked her silent.

And in that silence the flickering feeling had grown to frustrate her that she had decided to get out of the Hellsing Hall. And she had not seen him again since.

But the damned feeling would not leave her alone, swirling inside her head, forming a solid barrier between her and a good sleep.

Integra had survived death. She should feel glad about it, shouldn't she? Not that she didn't. She relieved, but for no obvious reason she didn't want to hear or cheer about it.

She wondered when her Sire would give her such a gaze. When would he give her such a credit he'd given his Master. When would those scarlet eyes lock on her with such trust, such pride, hers only.

Then it clicked. She was…

Jealous?

The word came out from nowhere.

Oh, cut it out Seras! She shook her head, as if by doing it she'd shake the ridiculous thought away; her mind had traveled too far it was absurd. She curled up, focusing her senses to the silkiness of her lilac nightgown, welcoming and the warm softness of her bed. With that, she closed the coffin bed, leaving a pack of blood inside the ice bucket on the table untouched.

She was inside a vast, dark chamber made of gray stone masonry, sitting on the floor, having no idea what the place was.

"Hurry," a voice rang in her ear.

She whirled to see of whose it was.

A pale face loomed out of the shadows. A man with blond hair and a pair of glowing, icy blue eyes. She had never seen him before.

He stepped closer, revealing his entire feature. He was carrying a body, a woman, also blonde.

"Bite my throat. Drink everything I've got," she whispered sensually. The urging voice she had heard before was hers.

"That's what you want me to do?" he asked in reply, but his gaze was fixed on Seras.

"I want you," she answered, clutching the man's shoulder all but desperately.

Seras stood up in shock, witnessing the next scene. The man lowered his face and grinned; showing her a pair of his curving canines. A vampire he was. Still locking his eyes on Seras, he sunk them into the woman's delicate neck, drinking her blood straight from the jugular.

"Yes!"

Something violent stirred inside Seras's body. Hearing the sucking noise, watching the woman helplessly moaning and begging for more, smelling the raw stench of the dripping blood and seeing its vivid crimson color made something inside her scream of unbearable thirst. She bit her fist, trying to resist the sick temptation that began to flood her nerves.

"Why are you showing me this?" she screamed at the man.

He withdrew himself from the woman, dropping her on the floor. Her body fell silently, limp like a rag doll, smilling, dead, on ecstasy.

"This is what you want, isn't it?" he grinned at Seras; thick droplets of blood dripping from his canines.

Yes! "No!" Seras backed away.

"This is what you want, right?" the man approached her.

Yes Yes! "No! No!" she screamed, recoiling until her spine met the cold stonewall.

It was damp. Something moist was dripping on its surface. She glanced.

Blood.

Blood was leaking – gushing freely from the wall. Gasping in panic, she stumbled forward.

Silent chuckle from the man, "You want this Seras," he hissed.

I want this "NO! NO! GO AWAY!" she screamed, running into the shadows that looked llike it hadn't been tainted by the disgusting fluid. But soon enough, the crimson stream was pooling, spreading, flooding the floor. No air for breathing except its metallic scent, no floor left to thread untainted by its red thickness. Her entire body was trembling, running a rebellion against her common, human senses.

"You are just the same Seras."

Yes! "No...No, I'm not, please just please leave me alone!" she wailed desperately.

"We are the same."

We are "NO! We're not! I'm not!" she cried, tears running down her cheeks. Everything was crimson, everywhere was blood, and she was hanging by the skin of her teeth not to give in to her vampiric urges.

"NO! NO! SIRE!" she screamed her lungs out. Her Sire, he was the one that came into her terrified mind. Her Master, Alucard, her sanctuary.

And she found herself sat up in her bed, her nightdress drenched with sweat, limbs tangled with the sheet. There was no blood.

She sat still for a while, disoriented, absent-minded. As her panting gradually replaced by steady inhalations, her mind registered the experience.

Bloody fucking dream.

She felt very weak, both physically and mentally drained. Slowly she stood up and took off her dress, changing it with her usual working suit. Dawn was far from near, yet she didn't feel like going back to the coffin bed. Lately for her, sleeping was rarely equal to resting; of how, since when, she didn't know.

On her way to the door, her gaze caught the sight of her abandoned meal. The blood packet was still there, vivid crimson floating among the half melting ice cubes, taunting, teasing her to get a sip.

Seras swallowed the lump caught in her throat. Its redness was so tempting, mesmerizing. She couldn't remember when exactly she had had her last meal, but the thick, tender mixture of coppery tang and its savory aftertaste came back to her tongue as if she had just taken some.

Impulsively, her tongue touched her canine, caressing its elongated crown, its delicate curves, and its proud jagged end. She could feel them pulsing. All of it were longing for the liquid, crimson warmth.

The next thing she knew she was holding the packet. Just about to tear its transparent tube when the raw stench reached her sense. It was enough to bring back a residue of her nightmare.

"You are just the same Seras."

"No," she blurted, immediately dropped the packet and backed away, as if it was the most contagious thing in the world. Without second glance, she stormed out from her room, to the long corridor, and up into the vast hall, the farther the better.

But, as she reached the stairs, her strides were gradually turned into slow, tired steps, she had not enough energy to run. But still, she climbed up, operating on an assumption that it was better to spend her remaining energy on walking rather than thinking about something depressing.

On the upper corridor, she noticed the balcony door was slightly ajar. She glanced out, and the word 'Sire' with quite an exclamation mark almost jumped out of her mouth, but fortunately stopped by the sight her eyes caught.

Sitting on a wheelchair beside the red-coated figure of the vampire who had given her second life was the platinum-haired woman that had barely cheated death, the woman who held the command of the Royal Knights of Hellsing Order, the mortal woman who somehow held her Sire's loyalty. Beside the nosferatu Alucard, was Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing.

Seras couldn't explain why she felt slightly disappointed that she had survived. That she had survived to sit there with him on her side.

They could have been there to talk about missions, or about any matters concerning the United Kingdom, or about pesky Vatican, or Her Majesty Queen, or the World. Heck, they could even have been talking about bleeding impeding apocalypse or about the way Alucard was dressing, they could have talked anywhere, at anytime about anything or nothing and Seras would, or Seras should feel damn no sort of bothered at all.

But she did. The churning discomfort inside her chest told her that. Something inside of her objected. She was bothered. She was –

Jealous

She quietly swore to eradicate that bloody word from her vocabulary, but she could no longer pretend that that sort of feeling had not been the cause of her bizarre state of mind.

Maybe she was too weak, or maybe she was too curious, or she could damn too proud that she decided not to walk away nor interrupt them.

Was snooping around part of vampire's nature besides looking pale and craving blood all the time?

...

"How was it?"

Integra lifted her gaze from the starless sky, answering Alucard's inquiry with a questioning glance.

"Death, dying, how did it taste?" he cast her a sly grin.

"I'm alive Alucard," she stated flatly, diverting her vision back to the glimmering London skyline.

A low, mocking snort came from the vampire, "Beautiful, is it not?" Integra couldn't be sure if he was talking about the scenery or about the death. She supposed nothing could impress the undead more that death itself.

"What did you see?"

A sigh was his only reply.

"It was said that humans would see their life flash before their eyes when they're facing death." He said, continuing his monologue. "If it's any true then you must have seen your dear father, your evil uncle and your cute little self," he grinned from ear to ear.

"I saw a monster," she said, her icy blue eyes fixed at him, "I saw a chained monster on the dungeon," the corner of her thin lips tugged, "I saw you."

Alucard returned her gaze, his scarlet eyes sparked with interest, "Ah, the scene." He chimed delightfully, "then a little blue eyed goldilocks released the monster, yes?" he paused, giving her a mock-observing glance, "No, not goldilocks; platinum," he chuckled, "The cute little platinum-haired girl unsealed the monster. The monster her dead father had sealed. Me. You released me."

"Unintentionally." Added Integra, biting her lower lips as the picture of her dying father came back to her mind.

The vampire's grin grew into laughter, "Oh look at you, how old you are now. Time does exist after all."

"Indeed. And you still treat me like that scared little girl."

"You are still the same little girl. Less scared, maybe. But the very same one who despises death more than anything else. The same Hellsing blood" he paused, sniffed at something in the air and grinned, revealing his proud canine, "It was tasty back then."

"And you are still the same old blood-sucking monster," she murmured under her breath.

"Yes, the same blood-sucking monster that protect you from other lowly blood-sucking monsters, Mother Nature has quite a sense of humor, does she not?" he said, still maintaining the eye contact that had crossed over to the territory of a staring game.

He was the one breaking it though. He lowered his gaze at his master's neck; it was still tightly bandaged. That was his failure.

Without speaking, he reached to touch the fading red stain on the cloth's whiteness. Integra flinched slightly at his touch; but more of it because of the pain.

"Do you want me to feed from you?"

There had been a pause before she answered, "And become just like you?"

"You don't have to feel pain anymore."

"Save me some pain? It is your duty to make sure of it, I suppose?" she said, tilting her head, eyeing the vampire with certain amount of accusation in her gaze, indirectly blaming him for the previous incident that had almost resulted in her losing her life.

"Say the order and death is beyond you," whispered the vampire through his gritted teeth, bending over to reach her delicate neck.

Integra seemed at lost for words for a moment. She did not approve the existence of the undeads, if not completely loathing it. But true, she despised nothing more than death; her father's death, her soldiers' deaths, everybody's death, and surely she would hate her own death. And this domesticated vampire of her father's had just offered her a way to escape it.

Should she take it?

Her head echoed back Why not?

"The order, Master," urged the vampire. Integra could feel him scenting the wound in her neck. She released her breath, realizing that she had been holding it for quite a time. She had to answer.

"Answer me," Alucard demanded. He was so close to her pulse, the only thing that made a difference between her and an excellently carved ice sculpture. He could feel it beating in a sweet sedated rhythm, carrying her delicious life stream. Her skin was so tender, and reeking of that filthy female vampire's odor, adding more pressure to the urge it to wipe it away, to erase it with his own. This Hellsing was supposed to be pure from any vampire's stench, if anyone had a right to put a claim on her, it was him, not any damned creatures or whatsoever, him only.

Integra was fully aware of her state right then, sitting in a wheelchair, trying to breathe slowly while a vampire – a nosferatu – was sniffing her bleeding neck, ready to gnaw and drain her up at any time. She knew what would happen after that; she would become a creature of the night, heaven forbid. Her mind knew exactly what she has – need – to do, but her body wouldn't respond to its command.

Another hand on her neck. She didn't flinch; for some reason her reflex did not kick in. The touch was firm but didn't hurt.

Alucard was losing his patience. Integra's reserve was frustrating. Of course he could take her right away without so much fuss; no kind of contract could stand over him and something he wanted, even if he had to pay for it later on. He liked playing a role as her servant; seeing her dealing with the chaos, ordering him to blast freaks and ghouls here and there, calling bad judgment here and there and then regretting her it.

But this game was not fun anymore, especially when some lowly living dead had the guts to take what is his. So why not put a claim on her once for all? Did she think he didn't know what's inside her mind? What a laugh! He had been inside her house, her father's head and his father before him, before she was even born, he had his eyes on her every seconds of her pathetically short life. He damned well know what's inside of her head; all she had to do was say it. Say it and she's free!

Dread took over Integra, lifting her heart to a faster palpitation. She tried to push her voice out, but she couldn't, something inside of her had held it back, some her own demented mind that admitted that the vampire did have a point. She afraid that one more second and she still idle of answer then the vampire would take that as a yes. No, he couldn't do that. What she was really afraid of was if the vampire having read her mind and found that demented answer right there, which was, to her regret, not all in words for the thing she supposed to be saying.

For fuck's sake, save yourself Integra!

"From now on the loyalty of the Royal Knights is in your hand, Daughter."

A clicking sound of unlocked weapon shattered the tension.

Alucard froze less than an inch from her neck. The sharp coldness of double metal barrels grazed his skin. He glanced down to find Walter's new invention buried on his chest.

"Draw yourself back Alucard," Integra said calmly, yet her level tone held a trace of tremor.

"Is that the order?" asked him nonchalantly.

"That's an order, or you'll taste my silver," she hissed.

"Fine then," he said, grinning

But instead of drawing himself back, he drew closer and planted a sudden kiss on his master's wound, barely lingering a second.

A ballistic ring of a gunshot echoed in the night air.

The pain, or more likely the shock triggered the gun.

Alucard released his grip, jerking backward as the bullet burning through his abdomen, leaving a bleeding cavity to start regenerating as soon as it was created,.

"Blimey, you're still so jumpy," he taunted, silent laughter on his tone, "You haven't grown up entirely afterall, Young Master."

"OUT OF MY SIGHT ALUCARD!" she exploded. Never, she thought, she had never been so humiliated like that, losing her head, and then her control. It was so out of character of her, she just wanted to end this.

How dare him insult her like that, "Get lost or I'll make sure the next one goes to heart!" she aimed the smoking barrel.

That ever mocking grin, "I don't have a heart," he chided, taking pleasure from her tantrum. What a rare treat, to see her thrown off balance after a brush with death.

"You do. As rotten as it may be," she said through gritted teeth.

A mocking smile for her, "You know me and I know you, so so well, do we not?"

"Out. Of. My. Sight. Alucard."

The vampire, retaining his smile, made a brief eye contact. His master's icy blue pools met his scarlet orbs in a piercing glare, telling him that the conversation was over and that she was weary but she damn would fight to keep it so. Thus, he bowed gracefully, mockingly mimicking courtier of a time long gone, and retreated to the door.

On his way out, he slipped his fingers on his master's platinum strands and sniffed it, whispering, "You reek of that foul lowly monster, Master," and blended to the shadows of the deserted hall before his scandalized master could have her chance to pull a trigger.

Alucard's faint laugh echoed in the background.

How he fancied that cold calculating bitch and her pride.

How it was amusing to have her as his Master.

On the balcony, Integra clutched her neck tight, her skin crawled. She would take an extra long hot bath, scrub her skin raw, or rinse herself in alcohol if that was what required to clean her skin from those undeads. And she would deal with her twisted melancholy that had been plaguing her ever since she woke up on the operating table. She must sort it out or a scene like that might happen again. In her hands was the command of the Royal Knights and the kingdom's security from the citizen of the dark. No room for hesitation, no room for doubt. She had a promise to her father to keep.

...

Seras closed the door behind her back with an unintended slam. She was back on her room again, panting from running. Leaning on the wall, she slid to the floor, exhaustion swept her all over; her head throbbing, her feet weak. She shouldn't have run, not like when her human self met Alucard for the first time..

Yeah she could have just walked away when she had heard her master offering eternity to his master. Why did you run, Silly? She asked herself. Now she wouldn't know how she reacts on that offer. Did she turn it down?

Of course she would turn it down.

But supposed it was otherwise, had she taken it, agree to become just like him? Her sire's equal. Why did that phrase bother her?

"Shit!" she cursed. She should feel no jealousy whatsoever at such offer; besides, she had been offered the same first, which she had accepted – under duress, namely a mortal bullet wound – but still, she had accepted his offer. She had, however, declined the offer to consume his blood, for the sake of wanting to keep a shred of her humanity. She really shouldn't have been envious.

Dizzily she tried to stand up, but fell to sitting position again half way. Her vision was rather blurry and she got a ridiculous image of a cute little woodland hedgehog wreaking havoc inside her head and this, this cold stone floor was just damn uncomfortable! She crawled on her knee, heading to her coffin bed. All she needed was just a good sleep, having her mind shut down for a while.

But fate fancied mockery. She found her jackpot on the floor, her blood packet, once again, still there, still red, still tempting. Her stomach let out an audible rumble. No, not a good sleep, not a mind shut down.

Food. Eat. Blood.

She let out a groan, this time from her mouth. She had just been defeated.

She pried her legs to take her to the chair. Once sitting down, she tore the blood packet open, pouring the thick liquid down on the silver bowl. It pooled there, she could see her reflection on its surface, looking just like that time she had just participated on a charity triathlon over London; dead-tired and ugly. Dark bags under her eyes, tousled strawberry-blonde hair, cracking parched lips, and sweaty pale skin.

Then came the raw smell. She held her breath, restraining herself from grabbing the bowl and chug the meal in one gulp; the wave of thirst came crashing out to her surface again, she could almost feel her fangs pulsing in excitement.

Just take it and it'll be over, whispered a voice inside of her. She bit her lip, took the spoon and dipped it in the liquid. If she was going to end up eating blood, she would eat it properly, in a civilized way. She lifted the eating utensil. An odd reminiscence of a nursing song played on her head.

~For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, medicine go dow-wown, medicine go down~

Well, it is a bleeding spoonful of blood now, Mary Poppins, she said to herself, almost rolling her eyes, crazy things starved brain did.

But the spoon was dropped again on the crimson liquid before it had any chance to reach her mouth.

"You're just the same Seras."

No, she was not. She still wanted to keep her humanity, she was not same with him, with the man she saw in her dream, with those vampires with glowing eyes, no, she was different from them.

But she did want the blood, badly. It made her feel so angry, yet helpless.

She stirred the thick liquid, over and over, torturing herself with the smell. She was not going to eat it, if her body wanted it so bad then her vampire self just had to seize control for it to happen, and she wouldn't allow it.

"Aren't you going to eat that Policegirl?" came the all too familiar voice.

"Sire?" Of course it's him.

"Haven't you ever been told not to play with your food?" Alucard materialized in front of her, out of thin air, as usual.

Not since I died,her thought retorted.

"Well, now that you've died," he said, having read her mind, "I'll be one to tell you."

Seras didn't speak, back on biting her lower lip. Lately she began to wonder if things would have been better for her if she had just chosen to die when Alucard had blown her lungs to bloody pulp.

"Stop torturing yourself with that thing, it's depressing. If you want to eat then eat. If not, you can always flush it down the toilet or let it lay to spoil in that attic of yours again," he took a seat across the wooden table.

Seras winced; Of course Alucard would know that she had flushed her meal down the toilet once or twice, but she had never known that he knew of her throwing the blood packet to the attic through the gap in the ceiling.

"You – " suddenly she felt very, very upset, " –s-spying is trespassing on one's privacy, Sire," she sputtered.

"So is eavesdropping, is it not?" replied the vampire calmly.

Seras was mortified.

Alucard grinned at her expression, it was alternating from irritated to shock, to embarrassed, it must be exhausting, those onslaught of feelings, "Your steps was quite concealed, but your breathing, loud as gunshots," he said, countering the uneasiness that had rendered the spirited Policegirl quiet.

She let out a small sigh of disappointment. She had never been good enough for her sire. She looked away from him, her eyes back on the blood plate, stirring the red liquid over and over again.

"You'll never be good enough if you're weak–"

See? He always looked down at her.

" –and you'll stay weak if you don't eat," he reached over and grasped Seras's hand, stopping her from churning the blood to read foam, "Eat, Policegirl," he hissed, his scarlet orbs bored straight at her with a half demanding and half threatening stare.

"No," she said, dropping her spoon, not looking at him, or the blood either.

Alucard gave his childe one of his mocking grin, "You're no longer a human Seras. This spoiled brat act did not become a vampire."

"BUT I WAS!" frustrated, she raised her voice. Why was he keep pushing her? She's hysterical she almost laugh, "I was a spoiled brat. I was a human and a human would never-"

"Never what?" her Sire cut her. "Never eat?" he spat.

"Never drink another's blood," she said, her voice dropped.

"We don't drink another's blood, Policegirl. We drink human blood. We prey on them like they prey on animals and plants. Occasionally we kill to eat, and most of the time so do they."

"But I –"

"You are a vampire. We feed on humans."

"But I was –"

"A human, yes. And now you're not. And human needs to learn to accept the existence of creatures whose rank in food chain is higher than them. Us. Eat."

The words left Seras silent with her lips slightly parted, trying to argue but couldn't find anymore argument. Realizing that she had lost their little squabble, she pursed her mouth and stared at the floor.

"Eat it Policegirl," he demanded once again.

"No," A human she might no longer be, but she could still be a brat.

She heard him snorted.

Alucard took off one of his gloves and dipped his finger on the crimson pool.

Seras frowned at him. In less than a second later her frown turned into wide bewildered stare.

In a fluid motion that was too fast for her eyes to see, Alucard smeared his blood coated finger on her lips, coloring the parched skin with the bright red.

She backed away in panic until her back met the wall. He laughed.

"Don't fight it Policegirl, It's a battle you can't win," he approached her with the blood bowl on his hand.

Seras's brain told her to shout at him to leave her alone, to say fuck him. Instead, what came out from her mouth was a snarl. She snarled at him, like a desperate cornered feral animal.

It only widened the grin plastered on his face. Feisty human made feisty vampires he supposed, good.

"Taste it," he said, gently, almost like a suggestion.

Seras's tongue licked her bloody lips almost automatically.

It was so sweet, quenching, and tasty more than anything else. Something inside of her screamed. Her human self. Torn between her human senses and her vampire instincts, she screamed. It came out more like a howl. Then everything went spinning and the next thing she knew she had fallen into her knees.

Few minutes before she wanted so much to see her Sire, but now that she had met him, all that she wanted was run as far away to the edge of the world or someplace where he couldn't see her in this, most pathetic state. Her body was a vampire but her mind was not. And her human mind was crying. And it was very strange for a vampire to shed tears.

Alucard took her arm in a gentle hold and steered her to sit in her bed, her normal, human bunk. She made a mental note to get rid of it now that she slept on coffin one, but she couldn't, no matter how it crowded the room.

She had no energy left to fight. She leaned on the wooden pillar, staring at him blankly through her blurry, tear-stained vision. She didn't refuse when he passed a spoonful of blood through her parted lips.

It was amazing how a gulp of that thick red fluid do to her. A bolt of warmth charged her body that she never realized was so cold. A moan escaped her throat, she wanted more.

Alucard grinned and spoon her another.

~for a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, Medicine go dow-wown, medicine go down~

She cursed the song playing inside her head. But the bowl was soon half empty. Spoonful after spoonful was delivered in silence. Until at one point something inside Seras snapped. She snatched the bowl off her master's hand to finish its contents with one continuous chug.

She regretted that soon after. Waves of shame struck her. The silver bowl fell clanging to the floor. Where was her so-called proper, civilized way to eat her meal? Mary Poppins would've been appauled.

~In the most delightful way~

As expected, Alucard did nothing but watch; head slightly tilted, scarlet eyes glinting slyly behind the round glasses, signature grin still intact if not grew wider.

"Good girl. That's it." he said, his grin indeed grew wider. A wide and proud smirk, an expression of a beast watching its offspring got its first taste of blood on its first hunt.

Seras threw a glare at him. This wasn't a hunt, wasn't an achievement, it's a pathetic coercion. It was all his fault, so her hostile eyes shouted out loud. She hated him at that moment. But she had hated him on many occasions, and yet–

Sometimes she wondered if she had gone mad that she thought her Sire was charming. But no, she was not mad at all, Alucard was indeed charming; in that oh-so-cliched way fire attracted a moth; with a shimmering, deceitful charm shining with danger and surrounded with darkness.

She was the moth, with one difference; the moth would die happily on the fire's scorching heat while she was condemned to spend eternity being stuck between life and death, living but not alive. She really should have chosen death.

Alucard sighed. He held his wrist and drew a smooth line in his skin with his razor-sharp nail. Soon the invisible line appeared crimson of blood. He had cut himself. He smiled at hearing a gasp that came from his Childe.

"Drink my blood Policegirl."

"Sire?"

"Make yourself a free vampire. You don't have to be my apprentice anymore."

"Is that mean that I will be just like you?" she blurted. Her Sire was just offering her the second chance. Had she not wished for it just a few minutes before?

The vampire chuckled, "You need a thousand lifetimes to be 'just like me'. But consider this; you will not linked to me anymore, or be anchored with this humanity of yours. Free your thirst and gain your so-called privacy. Neat, hm?"

Seras stared at his bleeding wrist. Her humanity, should she keep it? It was no good for her now, it confuses her more and more. Being a fully independent vampire should make it easier for her to call on a decision.

And she wouldn't be linked to him again, it would be a good thing? Right?

"You won't have me spying on you again," he confirmed, ever grinning.

Would that also mean that he wouldn't come to save her from trouble like he always did? Would that mean that she would be on her own inside her head along her eternity in Hellsing Order? Would it be like that?

She bent her head a little, staring at the trickling blood. Again, without command, her tongue wet her lips. Drink it and she would, no, she wouldn't be his equal, he had said it himself, she needed a thousand lifetimes to be his equal. Being an independent vampire did not mean being his equal.

Not like Integra would be if she accepted his offer.

She flinched mentally. By drinking his blood, she would be cutting off her strongest bond to Alucard; their Sire-Childe tie.

So she backed away and did nothing but watch the wound on her master's hand healed itself.

Alucard only slightly raised his eyebrows, wrapping his hand back with his glove, but asking no questions. "Very well then." he said, getting off the bed, ready to disappear.

But Seras caught his coat and clutched at it, like a child afraid of abandonment would. He glanced at her with a questioning look.

"Did she take your offer?" she asked. Not her place to be asking, such an improper prying, she knew but hell, she couldn't pretend it wasn't eating on her. And she'd be damned, Alucard had already caught her eavesdropping them anyway.

Wendy stays in her world," he said, still with that smug, perpetual grin.

The Policegirl's eyes widened from incomprehension.

Alucard let out a small chuckle and lifted her chin with his gloved finger, "Wendy decides to stay in her world. While Peter Pan returns to NeverNeverLand," he whispered, bending closer to her face, "and teaches Tiger Lily how to hunt." Closer and closer until his lips touched the corner of hers.

She flinched a little as she felt his warm tongue brushed her skin. She should have been shocked, or backing away, but she did not. On the contrary, she had never felt so reassured or calm before. She let her master wiped out the blood smearing her lips."But sweet stubborn Tiger Lily isn't a fast learner. So Peter Pan will likely spend a long time with her," he said after he had finished, drawing himself back.

A pause.

"B-negative is the sweetest," he said again, before leaving the bed.

Seras let him go this time. He would not really leave her though, he would always know if she had thrown another packet of her meal. He would still know if something happened to her.

"Nighty Night, Childe." he said before disappearing into the thin night air.

Seras threw herself on the fluffy bunk, filled by warm sensation all over. For the first time since the day Integra lay unconscious on the operating table, she felt truly relieved. The said feeling was comfortable and lulling, or was it because she had eaten? Whatever.

~Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down~

~In the most delightful way~

Oh fuck you Marry Poppins!

She closed her eyes and at last, even when that bleeding song still playing like a broken record inside her head, she had some rest.

...

Alucard walked along the deserted corridor, his smirk intact.

His Childe had chosen to stay in her ambiguous chrysalis state. Oh well, he wanted to see how long before her nightmare finally change her mind. And when that time came, he would be waiting for her in the finish line.

Women, dead or alive both were beyond his understanding.

But nevertheless fascinating; the walking contradictions, vulnerable creature trying to look tough inside their thin fragile shell of human pride. Oftentimes, without them noticing, it betrayed their inner thought, spelling them out loud beyond words for the advantage of more perceptible creatures like himself. It was very amusing to see them struggling and lying to themselves in order to maintain such a proud, elaborate charade.

"Good evening, Sir Alucard," a masculine voice came from his rear.

He glanced back and found his master's butler.

"Walter," he returned the ex-assassin's greeting. He should give him some compliment on Integra's new gun.

The old man approached him, slightly dragging his steps. He was carrying a large suitcase with both hands.

"New gadget?" asked Alucard, mildly interested.

"Yes, Miss Victoria needs something with more damaging power. Just ten ghouls in one blast doesn't do much these days, especially with freaks building armies around," he explained, dragging his pace.

"I see," mumbled Alucard. "I've seen your newest invention for my master," he walked by his side.

"Oh, have you? How was it?" he asked, eager to hear what he had to say.

"Sleek. Tasted good too," grinned the vampire, unbuttoning his red coat to show him the hole in his white shirt.

The butler frowned at his compliment, "What happened?"

"My fault," he dismissed. Smirking, he took the butler's suitcase.

"Please. Don't bother youself, Sir, I can handle this," said the butler, scandalized, not releasing his grip from the handle.

"Where are you going to take this?" asked Alucard, also not removing his grip.

"The tower. I shall test how far the missiles will go," he answered, stubbornly insisting to carry the heavy thing alone.

"Well, it's fate! I'm heading to that direction as well."

"Sir, please," intoned the butler.

"Fine," said the vampire, releasing his grip and smirking as the butler backed on dragging his steps again. Proud creatures indeed.

"Oh, I am getting old!" he complained as they were climbing the stairs, dropping the suitcase to flex his hands and crack his back.

"Do you want to stop getting older?" asked Alucard with a certain glint in his eyes. His Master had refused his offer, so had his Childe. Maybe this man who was formally called Angel of Death would accept his offer. Later on, looking back, he almost laughed that he had had such an absurd thought.

The butler caught his point. Sighing, he smiled, "If I were younger, perhaps, Sir," he said, "Or perhaps not," he added after a pause.

"Why not?"

"Because I need time to run to remind me of who I am. I would lost myself if time stopped running, I supposed," he said, proceeding to climb up,

Stopping, Alucard tilted his head.

Walter smiled at him from a higher step."... and some said, Sir Alucard, that death is beautiful. I'd like to prove it. I'd welcome it like an old friend, we've brushed more than few times in the past, after all."

His words ended their conversation, leaving the vampire in his own thought. Of all the centuries he had passed, he had never quite sure of why humans appealed so much to him in more ways than just to prey upon. They were weak, pathetic, hairless sentient animals that held their heads up high just because they had more braincells than others to figure out more way to stretch their mortality.

But maybe that was it, their short vulnerable life that would inevitably ended by death; that was the greatest beauty of them. That and of course, watching them making fool of themselves trying to escape it. He, and the rest of night dwellers would always fascinatingly watching them from the other side, where time had stopped.

Could it have been vice versa?

Could they, in any way, have secretly grown a desire to also cross to the other side? Where everything's infused with the urgency of time...?

After what seemed like hundreds of stairs, chilly air hailed their skin. The was nothing on the roof top but black gloomy sky and eerie whispers of the passing midnight wind. But it was serene; not often a night passed Hellsing Manor without any uncanny incident happened. To have one was to appreciate it.

"Such a calm night, isn't it? Less ordinary than our usual ones," commented the butler, pleased.

Less Ordinary? Hm.

"Indeed Walter," he smiled, "Indeed."

****Ende des Fic****

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