Hello everyone. I am completely new on Fanfiction, so please don't Flame me. Only give me creative and helpful comments please. I would like to have as much help as possible, since this is my first time on Fanfiction. I hope you all like my story.
Summary- There is a legend of a Vampire, who kills everyone he meets. A Vampire who never felt compassion. His name, Kenshin Himura. He is known as the Battousai and this.. is his story of learning Compassion. And maybe, falling in love.
(_) AN
:_: What the Charactor is Reading
"_" Talking
'_' Thoughts
*_* Sounds or sudden noises
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learning Compassion
Introduction: Where the Legend Began
Past, about 180 years ago
The sky was dark. The sun was just peering over the great hill, just shy of it's sleep. The moon was high in the sky. It was full. The night was promissing all those in it, that it would be peaceful. The air blew to the west, making leaves blow into the sky. Just a few feet from the ground was all. Dirt, being carried into the sky as well.
The tree leaves swayed with the changing wind. Just as it always did. The grass was slightly wet, due to late showers from the clouds earlier that day. Flowers were beginning to bloom. It was going to be a wonderful spring. Cherry blossom trees were getting ready for the annual falling. Their leaves almost completely gone, and their branches filled with freash buds, ready to bloom into beautiful flowers.
The forest was peaceful. All the creatures of the forest were asleep. Not even the usual song of night by the birds were heard. Everything was quiet. Everything was peaceful.
One thing, stirred in the night. It was a boy. He was about the age of 17. He was brash, young and beautiful boy. Nearly the age of manhood. His fire red hair tamed by a single tie. His bangs reaching down to touch his cheeks. Some, were even to his chin in length. His bright, almost purple color eyes were shinning in the dark. They were wide open, taking in everything they could. Fear was hiden within the depths of his eyes. A single slash mark on his face, deep and healed. It was a scar. Only one mark on it. It seemed to be almost... incomplete.
His Gi was a magenta color. Some would say it was pink. That would probably make the boy frown when someone thought of that. He was no muscle man, but he was still clearly, a man. He may have softer features, and his hair could make you mistake him for a female. But, once you looked into his clear eyes, you could not mistake him for anything else but a male.
He was clearly in a hurry. Going through the woods as quick as his legs could go. Anyone would wonder why a young man would run so fast. What could be after him? There were two shadows that were chasing after the boy.
The boy, quick on his feet, avoided a few slashes and grabs from the shadows. The shadows only became angry and chased the boy with much more furry.
The boy, who was near to crying out in fright, tripped over a fallen log. The night air carried the loud thud of his fall to the clouds.
The sun had set just a few seconds ago. The moon was in full veiw and the night was darken, only lite up by the few stars scattered within it.
The shadows stalked the fallen boy, circling him like predators, ready for the kill. The boy just looked up at the figures above him, knowing no matter what happened, he would be killed that night. There was nothing he could do from here on out. He would have to except his fate.
What anyone failed to notice was, the boy was bleeding. A small puddle of blood could be seen now. It stained the ground below the fallen boy and left a trail behind him. Something had cut him.
The boy cringed in pain, only letting out a small whine from it. He wasn't about to show his pain to the two figures that stalked him in this night. He was much too proud for that.
One figure stopped to his left, the other stopped in front of him.
He could bolt to the right! This could be his chance to move! He could still live! But, to his horror, he could not move. He was too weak to move. His legs gave out on him and his arms were useless. He was planted to the ground and could not do anything to stop whoever those shadows were, from doing whatever they wished upon him. He was thier's now. He knew it. He loathed the thought of it.
"What shall we do with him?" The one to his left spoke, in it's hissed voice. Almost like a snake with the will to speak in human tongue. He was dressed in a dark colored Gi, that made him blend into the shadows. You could only make out a pale face, with sharp, yellow colored eyes.
"We shall drain him of his blood, then make him what he hates most." Said the one in front of him. The figure was also saved from veiw by the shadows. He was cloaked in a trench coat, that covered most of his body from veiw. His pale skin was almost too easy to spot and his yellow eyes reflected in the moonlight. "We shall drink the blood of our slayer. Then, we shall become stronger."
The other one hissed in delight. The boy, nearly gagged himself. He was trying to die. He was trying to head towards the light at the end of the tunnel. But, he was not quick enough, for the shadowed figure infront of him, grabbed him by his Gi colar and pulled him up. His open wounds seethed with pain. Freash blood started to pour from them again.
It made the boy scream out in pain. The figures chuckled in pure joy over the boy's pain. Then, the figure who picked him up, opened his mouth. He revealed to the boy, pointed fangs that almost glowed against the moonlight. He licked his fangs, slowly down the process. The boy knew all too well what was going to happen next. He closed his eyes, waiting for the seething pain to come to his bare neck, but was shocked when something else came.
The figure shook him. "Wake up boy! Dammit! It's no fun if you pass out on me before I have a chance to enjoy myself." The figure that was holding him by his colar said.
The boy opened his eyes, glaring at the figure. He opened his mouth. "Death... death, to all those who cross me.." Blood dripped from the boy's mouth.
The two figures chuckled at the boy's sentence. Before, the figure infront of him, did what the boy dreaded most. The figure bit him on the neck, causing the boy's blood to drip into the figure's mouth.
The other figure took to the boy's other side. He also sunk his fangs into the boy's neck. Both figures savored every drop of the boy's blood, for it was their most feared enemy. In drinking his blood, they just made him theirs. They just defeated their kind's biggest enemy with a bite.
Both of them grinned against the boy's skin. They both were going to be the most feared of their kind now.
Now, it was time to make the boy, truely theirs. They both pulled back from the drained boy. The boy fell to the ground. He was going to be dead within the next few seconds. The figures worked quickly. One of them pulled out a dagger. He slit his own wrist, making blood pour from his self-infliced wound. The other, moved the boy onto his back, and held his head.
He opened the boy's mouth. The first one, put his dripping wrist over the boy's lips. He let his blood slip into the boy's mouth and down his throat.
The boy become more aware of what was happening. He felt a pure heat drip down his throat and into the down of his stomach. It was an awful feelings. A feeling his loathed with all of his heart. It caused his body to jolt every few seconds. He felt himself changing. His muscles expanding and growing. He felt his wounds close and his blood regain to it's fullest. He felt a hunger grow from the bottom of his stomach, to every part of his body for blood. He wanted it. He needed it.
He felt everything in his body change and his most primal self surface to the top, regaining control over his body.
The figures smirked to each other at their work. The first one gleamed down at the knewly awakened boy. The boy sat up and kept staring straight ahead. His eyes wide open. They were smaller now. And a golden color. His hair became a little more fined and his muscles were bigger then before. His heart beat had stopped, leaving the empty shell to live in a primal life. A life livid off of the living blood. He was a Vampire now.
The first figure chuckled. "Now, araise my child! You will obey me and fetch me, my next meal."
The second figure also shared in the chuckle. Then, he felt sheer pain in his chest. The boy, had stuck his hand right through the figure's chest! The figure gasped in pure pain, as the boy continued his assault on him, killing the figure within seconds.
The first figure tried to stop him, but was cut off from his yelp, when the boy grabbed his throat. He was pinned against a tree within a second, and was looking wide-eyed at the boy infront of him. He now feared the boy with every inch of his being. Then, the boy did something that made him shiver in fear. The boy uttered the words that would be feared for years to come.
"Death, to all those who cross me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Present Day
A body fell to the ground with two holes in the neck area. Blood was completely drained from the body by the two holes in the neck. A shadow loomed over the body, licking the traces of blood from his lips. He wiped the rest of it off by the back of his hand. His blue Gi now smeared with small blood stains. He quickly turned around and walked away.
He walked deep into the forest, where no one would find him. He was safe here. Safe from the light and safe from everyone who was out to kill him. He wasn't like other people. He was a creature that only walked in dark and came from the shadows. He was a Vampire. Not only was he a Vampire, but he was the most feared and the most powerful Vampire around. That was because in life, he was, almost as feared as the person he is today. He was a hunter of Vampires, before he was cursed to live as one.
He chuckled as he thought back upon the day of his rebirth. 'How ironic I became something I hated' he thought to himself.
He traveled through thick bushes, and upon doing so fell into a trap. He stopped in his walk and looked around at the four swordsmen surrounding him.
"Give up Battousai! We have you surrounded." One of the foolish men shouted at him.
The Battousai just chuckled coldly at the request. Him. Give up? Never. He would not lower himself like that. Besides, the people around him were easy enough to kill. He could tell by the way they held their swords, what styles they used. Each style was worst then the last. None of them compaired to his sword style.
"I could go for another meal tonight." The Battousai said to the surrounding men. "As I have said many atimes. Death, to all those who cross me."
The men shivered. This is when they truely knew, they found the right person. As soon as the Battousai was done with his quick wit, he charged at the first man. He plunged his own sword threw the man's neck. He tore his sword up, cutting the man's head in half. Blood spilled across the ground and onto the Battousai's face. The Battousai smirked and licked the blood from his lips once more. He turned and got ready for the next attack. It came from the man to his right.
The Battousai just ducked under the blade, then plunged his blade into the man's chest. He quickly turned the blade, cutting many of the man's organs. He pulled his sword out and kicked the man's dead body aside. The other two charged at the same time.
He snorted at the display. Like it would make any differance. He then sliced both before either could blink. The Battousai looked down at the fallen bodies. He really could go for another meal. He would then let whatever other Vampires around, have what he left behind. He didn't need all the blood from all of them. Just one of them would do. But, before he left them behind, he tasted all of their bloods, seeing which was the best.
All of the them were sour with sake. The men were also inpure, which made them all the worst to taste. Their hands were blood stained, which made the blood taste bitter with irony.
The Battousai was angry that he went through the trouble of tasting them, if bitter tastes were all they had to offer. He swung his sword, to get rid of the bitter blood from his blade, before sheathing it once more. He walked through the forest, not knowing where he would end up, only knowing he would be further away from where he least wanted to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So? What do you guys and girls think of my first Fanfic? I know I spelled some of the words wrong. But, I was tired when I wrote some of this, so the spelling is going to be a little bit off. Sorry for that. I hope you like it anyway.
Please review this and tell me what you think of it. I really want to know everyone's responce to this and to tell me how I am doing. Thank you.
Summary- There is a legend of a Vampire, who kills everyone he meets. A Vampire who never felt compassion. His name, Kenshin Himura. He is known as the Battousai and this.. is his story of learning Compassion. And maybe, falling in love.
(_) AN
:_: What the Charactor is Reading
"_" Talking
'_' Thoughts
*_* Sounds or sudden noises
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learning Compassion
Introduction: Where the Legend Began
Past, about 180 years ago
The sky was dark. The sun was just peering over the great hill, just shy of it's sleep. The moon was high in the sky. It was full. The night was promissing all those in it, that it would be peaceful. The air blew to the west, making leaves blow into the sky. Just a few feet from the ground was all. Dirt, being carried into the sky as well.
The tree leaves swayed with the changing wind. Just as it always did. The grass was slightly wet, due to late showers from the clouds earlier that day. Flowers were beginning to bloom. It was going to be a wonderful spring. Cherry blossom trees were getting ready for the annual falling. Their leaves almost completely gone, and their branches filled with freash buds, ready to bloom into beautiful flowers.
The forest was peaceful. All the creatures of the forest were asleep. Not even the usual song of night by the birds were heard. Everything was quiet. Everything was peaceful.
One thing, stirred in the night. It was a boy. He was about the age of 17. He was brash, young and beautiful boy. Nearly the age of manhood. His fire red hair tamed by a single tie. His bangs reaching down to touch his cheeks. Some, were even to his chin in length. His bright, almost purple color eyes were shinning in the dark. They were wide open, taking in everything they could. Fear was hiden within the depths of his eyes. A single slash mark on his face, deep and healed. It was a scar. Only one mark on it. It seemed to be almost... incomplete.
His Gi was a magenta color. Some would say it was pink. That would probably make the boy frown when someone thought of that. He was no muscle man, but he was still clearly, a man. He may have softer features, and his hair could make you mistake him for a female. But, once you looked into his clear eyes, you could not mistake him for anything else but a male.
He was clearly in a hurry. Going through the woods as quick as his legs could go. Anyone would wonder why a young man would run so fast. What could be after him? There were two shadows that were chasing after the boy.
The boy, quick on his feet, avoided a few slashes and grabs from the shadows. The shadows only became angry and chased the boy with much more furry.
The boy, who was near to crying out in fright, tripped over a fallen log. The night air carried the loud thud of his fall to the clouds.
The sun had set just a few seconds ago. The moon was in full veiw and the night was darken, only lite up by the few stars scattered within it.
The shadows stalked the fallen boy, circling him like predators, ready for the kill. The boy just looked up at the figures above him, knowing no matter what happened, he would be killed that night. There was nothing he could do from here on out. He would have to except his fate.
What anyone failed to notice was, the boy was bleeding. A small puddle of blood could be seen now. It stained the ground below the fallen boy and left a trail behind him. Something had cut him.
The boy cringed in pain, only letting out a small whine from it. He wasn't about to show his pain to the two figures that stalked him in this night. He was much too proud for that.
One figure stopped to his left, the other stopped in front of him.
He could bolt to the right! This could be his chance to move! He could still live! But, to his horror, he could not move. He was too weak to move. His legs gave out on him and his arms were useless. He was planted to the ground and could not do anything to stop whoever those shadows were, from doing whatever they wished upon him. He was thier's now. He knew it. He loathed the thought of it.
"What shall we do with him?" The one to his left spoke, in it's hissed voice. Almost like a snake with the will to speak in human tongue. He was dressed in a dark colored Gi, that made him blend into the shadows. You could only make out a pale face, with sharp, yellow colored eyes.
"We shall drain him of his blood, then make him what he hates most." Said the one in front of him. The figure was also saved from veiw by the shadows. He was cloaked in a trench coat, that covered most of his body from veiw. His pale skin was almost too easy to spot and his yellow eyes reflected in the moonlight. "We shall drink the blood of our slayer. Then, we shall become stronger."
The other one hissed in delight. The boy, nearly gagged himself. He was trying to die. He was trying to head towards the light at the end of the tunnel. But, he was not quick enough, for the shadowed figure infront of him, grabbed him by his Gi colar and pulled him up. His open wounds seethed with pain. Freash blood started to pour from them again.
It made the boy scream out in pain. The figures chuckled in pure joy over the boy's pain. Then, the figure who picked him up, opened his mouth. He revealed to the boy, pointed fangs that almost glowed against the moonlight. He licked his fangs, slowly down the process. The boy knew all too well what was going to happen next. He closed his eyes, waiting for the seething pain to come to his bare neck, but was shocked when something else came.
The figure shook him. "Wake up boy! Dammit! It's no fun if you pass out on me before I have a chance to enjoy myself." The figure that was holding him by his colar said.
The boy opened his eyes, glaring at the figure. He opened his mouth. "Death... death, to all those who cross me.." Blood dripped from the boy's mouth.
The two figures chuckled at the boy's sentence. Before, the figure infront of him, did what the boy dreaded most. The figure bit him on the neck, causing the boy's blood to drip into the figure's mouth.
The other figure took to the boy's other side. He also sunk his fangs into the boy's neck. Both figures savored every drop of the boy's blood, for it was their most feared enemy. In drinking his blood, they just made him theirs. They just defeated their kind's biggest enemy with a bite.
Both of them grinned against the boy's skin. They both were going to be the most feared of their kind now.
Now, it was time to make the boy, truely theirs. They both pulled back from the drained boy. The boy fell to the ground. He was going to be dead within the next few seconds. The figures worked quickly. One of them pulled out a dagger. He slit his own wrist, making blood pour from his self-infliced wound. The other, moved the boy onto his back, and held his head.
He opened the boy's mouth. The first one, put his dripping wrist over the boy's lips. He let his blood slip into the boy's mouth and down his throat.
The boy become more aware of what was happening. He felt a pure heat drip down his throat and into the down of his stomach. It was an awful feelings. A feeling his loathed with all of his heart. It caused his body to jolt every few seconds. He felt himself changing. His muscles expanding and growing. He felt his wounds close and his blood regain to it's fullest. He felt a hunger grow from the bottom of his stomach, to every part of his body for blood. He wanted it. He needed it.
He felt everything in his body change and his most primal self surface to the top, regaining control over his body.
The figures smirked to each other at their work. The first one gleamed down at the knewly awakened boy. The boy sat up and kept staring straight ahead. His eyes wide open. They were smaller now. And a golden color. His hair became a little more fined and his muscles were bigger then before. His heart beat had stopped, leaving the empty shell to live in a primal life. A life livid off of the living blood. He was a Vampire now.
The first figure chuckled. "Now, araise my child! You will obey me and fetch me, my next meal."
The second figure also shared in the chuckle. Then, he felt sheer pain in his chest. The boy, had stuck his hand right through the figure's chest! The figure gasped in pure pain, as the boy continued his assault on him, killing the figure within seconds.
The first figure tried to stop him, but was cut off from his yelp, when the boy grabbed his throat. He was pinned against a tree within a second, and was looking wide-eyed at the boy infront of him. He now feared the boy with every inch of his being. Then, the boy did something that made him shiver in fear. The boy uttered the words that would be feared for years to come.
"Death, to all those who cross me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Present Day
A body fell to the ground with two holes in the neck area. Blood was completely drained from the body by the two holes in the neck. A shadow loomed over the body, licking the traces of blood from his lips. He wiped the rest of it off by the back of his hand. His blue Gi now smeared with small blood stains. He quickly turned around and walked away.
He walked deep into the forest, where no one would find him. He was safe here. Safe from the light and safe from everyone who was out to kill him. He wasn't like other people. He was a creature that only walked in dark and came from the shadows. He was a Vampire. Not only was he a Vampire, but he was the most feared and the most powerful Vampire around. That was because in life, he was, almost as feared as the person he is today. He was a hunter of Vampires, before he was cursed to live as one.
He chuckled as he thought back upon the day of his rebirth. 'How ironic I became something I hated' he thought to himself.
He traveled through thick bushes, and upon doing so fell into a trap. He stopped in his walk and looked around at the four swordsmen surrounding him.
"Give up Battousai! We have you surrounded." One of the foolish men shouted at him.
The Battousai just chuckled coldly at the request. Him. Give up? Never. He would not lower himself like that. Besides, the people around him were easy enough to kill. He could tell by the way they held their swords, what styles they used. Each style was worst then the last. None of them compaired to his sword style.
"I could go for another meal tonight." The Battousai said to the surrounding men. "As I have said many atimes. Death, to all those who cross me."
The men shivered. This is when they truely knew, they found the right person. As soon as the Battousai was done with his quick wit, he charged at the first man. He plunged his own sword threw the man's neck. He tore his sword up, cutting the man's head in half. Blood spilled across the ground and onto the Battousai's face. The Battousai smirked and licked the blood from his lips once more. He turned and got ready for the next attack. It came from the man to his right.
The Battousai just ducked under the blade, then plunged his blade into the man's chest. He quickly turned the blade, cutting many of the man's organs. He pulled his sword out and kicked the man's dead body aside. The other two charged at the same time.
He snorted at the display. Like it would make any differance. He then sliced both before either could blink. The Battousai looked down at the fallen bodies. He really could go for another meal. He would then let whatever other Vampires around, have what he left behind. He didn't need all the blood from all of them. Just one of them would do. But, before he left them behind, he tasted all of their bloods, seeing which was the best.
All of the them were sour with sake. The men were also inpure, which made them all the worst to taste. Their hands were blood stained, which made the blood taste bitter with irony.
The Battousai was angry that he went through the trouble of tasting them, if bitter tastes were all they had to offer. He swung his sword, to get rid of the bitter blood from his blade, before sheathing it once more. He walked through the forest, not knowing where he would end up, only knowing he would be further away from where he least wanted to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So? What do you guys and girls think of my first Fanfic? I know I spelled some of the words wrong. But, I was tired when I wrote some of this, so the spelling is going to be a little bit off. Sorry for that. I hope you like it anyway.
Please review this and tell me what you think of it. I really want to know everyone's responce to this and to tell me how I am doing. Thank you.