The Return of Richard

Author's Note: I'm probably going to regret this (I should be spending more time on my work), but here's another saga starting. For new readers, the basic setting for this sequence, which follows on from The Pursuit of Janice, itself following on from True Love, is as follows. Ross got married to Emily without problems, and Monica and Rachel got married to each other a bit more than a year later (why and how this happened is set out in True Love). To compensate Chandler, who had begun to have strong feelings for Monica, they got him back together with Kathy: they are dating steadily, but Chandler and Joey still share their old apartment. Monica is head chef at Alessandro's, and Rachel is working at Ralph Lauren.

In The Pursuit of Janice it is told how, knowing nothing of this, Janice came to ask Monica and Rachel if they had any news of Chandler, who she believed to be in Yemen (see episode 4,15). They told her the truth, and feeling sorry for her, undertook to help her to recognise and eliminate the defects of behaviour that had turned Chandler off; with the help of Phoebe and (particularly) Emily, they had considerable success. Meanwhile, Chandler had bet Joey that he (Joey) could not get to bed with Janice. This failed, partly because Janice was let in on the secret by the girls, but left Joey with a real crush on the new Janice – and he was not the only one to be attracted to her! The action starts shortly after the end of The Pursuit of Janice.

Warning: obviously, references to f/f love will appear, so anyone who can't stand the thought of this between Monica and Rachel (or anyone else, for that matter) should not read this – but there will be no very explicit stuff, I promise.

Disclaimer: The Friends characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.

Chapter 1: A Voice from the Past

It was getting on in the evening, and Monica was trying to indicate to Rachel, without actually coming right out and saying it, that she would like to go to bed. Rachel knew this perfectly well, but was mischievously ignoring all her hints and feigning great interest in a TV chat show. Just when Monica was about to crack, the phone rang.

Surprised, Monica picked up. "Monica Geller speaking."

"Monica," said a very familiar voice in a warm tone. "I hoped you were still there."

"Richard!" she gasped. Rachel turned sharply.

"How are you?" said Richard. "Still hanging out in Central Perk with the old crowd, or have there been changes since I last saw you?"

"Well, yes, there have," said Monica, "too many to tell you about over the phone. Why don't you come round to Central Perk and see us all?"

"Well, it's you I really want to see," said Richard in a quietly insistent way. "How about lunch tomorrow?"

"Oh, ah, I'm not sure about that," said Monica, suddenly rather flustered. "Just a moment." She covered the mouthpiece and turned to Rachel, who was now regarding her rather seriously. "He wants me to have lunch with him," she hissed. "Can I? It would be the easiest way to break it to him."

Rachel was very pleased that Monica should think it proper to ask her. She had a feeling that Richard could be a danger to their relationship, but she wanted to trust Monica. "Go ahead, honey," she said. "Just make sure you do tell him."

"Okay, Richard, let's do lunch," said Monica into the phone. "But it'll have to be quick. My lunch break at Alessandro's is only half an hour; I usually take it between twelve and twelve thirty."

"Right," said Richard, his voice subtly different. Monica assumed he had realised that there was someone else in the apartment. "I'll drop by around twelve."

When Richard showed up the following day at Alessandro's, he was looking shell-shocked. Monica guessed that he had learned her most important news. "Did you call my parents?" she asked as he bent to kiss her on the cheek.

He straightened up, and looked at her with a very bemused expression. "Married … to Rachel?" he said, as if it was the most incredible thing he had ever heard.

"Yes," said Monica rather shortly. She was not pleased at his reaction. "It was the first thing I was going to tell you. Did mom also mention that Ross had got married again?"

His lips twitched. "It took quite a while before I could break the flow, to ask about you."

"Same old mom," said Monica affectionately. "But she's been very good about our relationship, really. She helped a lot with the wedding, and she's pleased that I'm planning to get pregnant soon."

Richard seemed to flinch. "That was my big mistake, wasn't it?" He shook his head, as if dazed. "We were so great together, you and I."

"We were, yes," said Monica pointedly. "Now, Richard, I'm hungry and I don't have much time, so let's get something to eat – my treat."

She got her usual plate of salad and helped him to a generous portion of chicken chasseur. They sat at a table near the kitchen door. Not wanting to give him scope for more comment about the failure of their relationship, Monica launched into an animated account of the more significant events in the lives of her friends, such as Phoebe's acting as surrogate mother for her brother and sister-in-law, Joey's near-miss at a serious love affair with Kate Miller, his opposite lead in a play, and Chandler's steady relationship with Kathy. She continued with her own account of Ross and Emily's wedding, when, as she mentioned briefly, she and Rachel had really begun.

Richard listened without much comment, barely cracking a smile even at the more ludicrous incidents, but continuing to look at her in a rather dazed way that she found a bit unnerving. Finally she said brightly, "And what have you been doing, Richard? Where have you been, in fact? I don't know whether you'd have felt able to come to our wedding," – she smiled sympathetically – "but mom said you were out of the country, so we couldn't even invite you."

For a moment his face seemed to show pain, and he sighed deeply. "I went to Africa," he began slowly, "to work on a project with children." He dropped his gaze. "I went to get you out of my head," he continued, almost violently, "but it didn't work." He raised his head again, to fix her with a very intense look. "I came back to ask you to marry me, if you were free." He reached across the table to take her hand. "I realised what a fool I'd been in this thing about children, that I would like you to have my child, that I wanted you to. This, this ceremony you went through with Rachel can't have legal force – you wouldn't even have to get a divorce …" His voice trailed off as he saw her expression.

She tore her hand away from his as if it might burn her, and for a moment wished she were a gorgon, to turn him to stone with her glance. With considerable effort, she kept control of her temper. "Once, you need only have said that, and I'd have come running," she said quietly. "But Richard, that was over two years ago. I've changed. I'm committed to Rachel now, I love her very deeply, and we aim to bring up children together, like Carol and Susan."

"Oh, and who's going to be the father?" he said in a bitter tone. "One of your friends, maybe? I don't think Joey or Chandler would make a very good father."

"That's my business," she said angrily. "And it's not nice to dump on my friends like that."

"I'm sorry," he said brusquely, "but I don't think you've thought this through. Whoever you use cannot be the father to your child that Ross is to Ben. Face it, Monica: I can offer you something that Rachel cannot."

"Will you stop this?" Monica cried, feeling she might burst into tears at any moment. "How many times do I have to tell you, I love her!"

Richard's face was red. "I grant she's very attractive, but do you really love that, that airhead the way you loved me?" he growled.

Outraged, Monica was about to tear into him, ignoring all the possible consequences of making a scene in the restaurant, when a passing waiter seemed to trip and dumped a load of cleared plates in Richard's lap. Instantly waiters converged from all over the restaurant and began wiping his clothes clean and tidying up, while Maurice, the one who had done it, offered profuse apologies. Louise, the girl who acted as wine waiter at lunchtime, knelt by Monica's chair to pick up fallen knives and forks.

"Don't do it, Mon, however much he deserves it,"she hissed. "The proprietor's eating here today, and you know how he feels about being rude to customers."

Monica realised that the restaurant staff had been keeping watch on her and Richard. Ever since she had fallen in love with Rachel, she had shown much greater tolerance for minor errors and misdemeanours, and as a result had gotten along much better with them, and now counted many as friends.

"Thanks," she muttered to Louise, and turned back to Richard, who was now getting rid of his corps of unwanted helpers. Maurice winked at her behind Richard's back and walked away.

Richard's look was at once apologetic and rather defiant.

"I apologise, Monica," he said. "It just so hard to believe that you could – "

"Richard," she interrupted, fixing him with a baleful eye, "if you want us to remain friends, never ever say anything like that again. I should have thought you were mature enough to accept that homosexual relationships can be just as deep and enduring as heterosexual ones. Rachel and I have been together for well over a year now, and I see no reason why we shouldn't spend the rest of our lives together. I certainly want to."

"Well, if you say so, I have to believe it," he muttered, looking a little shamefaced. He seemed about to say something else, but then thought better of it.

"Tell me," she said, suddenly curious, "would you have reacted like this if you'd found me dating Chandler seriously?"

"Chandler!" Richard broke into laughter, abruptly cut off when Monica glared at him again. "Why, was there any chance of that?"

"It could have happened," said Monica. "After Ross's wedding he really tried to get me to take him seriously, and in other circumstances I might have done. But by then it was too late."

"So you fixed him up with Kathy as a consolation prize?" said Richard a little mockingly.

"It was the least we could do," said Monica seriously. "I felt sorry for him. I realised that I had kept ignoring signs that he was truly interested in me." She looked at her watch. "I must get back to work."

"Would it be okay if I dropped in at Central Perk some time?" said Richard. "I'd like to see the others." But to Monica it was obvious that this was a blind – what he really wanted was to go on seeing her.

"I guess so," she said resignedly, "I can hardly stop you. But don't think it'll change my mind. You'll find we've all changed a bit, though Joey and Phoebe less than most."

"Well, well," said Richard, shaking his head. "I suppose it had to happen – you guys growing up a bit, I mean. I look forward to meeting Ross's Emily. When might be a good time to get you all together?"

"We try to eat together on Saturday evenings, to keep Ross and Emily in the group," said Monica.

"Okay," said Richard, getting up. "I'm sorry if I upset you, Monica. Just remember: my offer stands." He was gone before she could reply.

This last remark of his unsettled her, and that afternoon she made several mistakes, all fortunately caught by her sub-chefs. This had a bad effect on her temper, and by the time she arrived back at the apartment she was seething with resentment at Richard.

"The nerve of that man!" she raged to Rachel, who had jumped up when she stormed in, slamming the door behind her. "To think he could just waltz in and take up right where he left off! And to believe that I wasn't serious about you when he knew, mom had told him, that we were married! He, he …" She broke down and began to cry on Rachel's shoulder, without really knowing why. Was it for what might have been, or for the way that he had diminished himself in her eyes by his reaction to her news?

Rachel had been forewarned, by a phone call from Louise, that the meeting with Richard had been stormy. Now, as she tried to calm and comfort Monica, she felt supremely happy. Her decision to trust Monica had been amply rewarded. Monica had just given her the clearest possible indication that even the man she had loved most, the one whom Rachel could envision as a serious rival, meant nothing to her now.

"There, honey, there," she said, stroking Monica's hair lovingly. "Was he … mean about me?"

"Not mean, precisely," Monica sobbed. "But he, he said something thast shows he … doesn't think you're … very bright."

Rachel laughed. "Is that all? Well, maybe he thinks I'm dumb, but I'm not as dumb as he was, to let you get away." She kissed her on the cheek.

Monica produced a watery chuckle and turned her face to kiss Rachel properly. No more was said that evening about Richard, or dumbness, or anything but their love for each other.

Monica slept sound that night, but in the morning Richard's words returned to haunt her. Would they be doing the right thing, bringing up a child without a father? As it was, they had not even finally decided how she was going to conceive, though more and more they were leaning to the idea of using the sperm bank.

Seeing her looking a bit pensive over breakfast, Rachel guessed what was bothering her. "What else did Richard say?" she asked. "He wanted you to marry him, so … did he offer you children?"

Monica drew in a breath sharply. She had forgotten how perceptive Rachel could be sometimes.

"Yes," she admitted, "but there was more. He pointed out that we wouldn't have a Ross to be father to our child."

"Well, that's a real point," said Rachel. "But, Mon, you shouldn't worry too much about it. Our guys will be around, including Ross. Why, he was telling me just the other day that in some African societies the mother's brother is the most important man in a boy's life. That says, to me, that he intends to take a real interest in our child." She smiled affectionately. "And anyway, you might have a girl."

"That's true," said Monica. "I guess Richard still overawes me, and I have this tendency to accept anything he says. By the way, he might drop by on Saturday to see everyone."

"H'm," Rachel went, "doesn't sound as if he's going to give up easily, does it?"

"I told him it wouldn't get him anywhere," said Monica. "You'll be polite to him, won't you?" she added, in sudden alarm, for Rachel was looking a little grim.

Rachel smiled and her face relaxed. "I'll be nice as pie. But if if he shows signs of failing to get the message, I'll, I'll … I'll set Janice on him!" she produced with an air of triumph.

"Mm – I forgot to mention Janice," said Monica. "I can't remember if he knows about her. We were over, by the time Chandler and Janice got together really seriously, that last time."

"It might be interesting to see what he thinks of her," said Rachel ruminatively. "She's far too … mature for Joey, really."

They both sighed. Joey's crush on Janice showed no signs of abating, though she was giving him no encouragement, except that even her usual friendliness seemed to encourage him.

Suddenly Monica caught up with the first part of Rachel's statement. "You're thinking of getting Richard and Janice together?" she gasped. "You cannot be serious!" she said in a John McEnroe way.

Rachel grinned. "The best way to stop Richard keeping on at you would be to get him interested in someone else – and Janice could certainly hold her own with him. Besides … doesn't it ever bother you that Ross seems to be showing rather a lot of interest in her?"

"No more than Emily," said Monica. "They're always inviting her round, and Emily is at Janice's so often, Maggie is calling her auntie Emily. And when she's not there, as often as not they're gadding about together."

"Well, I think that's great," said Rachel firmly. "They both need a closer friend than we can be to them. But Ross is showing signs of having a crush on Janice."

Monica nodded. "Yeah, I think you may be right. And when I remember how he could hardly stand her! Maybe we did too good a job on her, and now she's irresistible."

"Not to hear her tell it," said Rachel. "She complains that even the nicest men go cool when they find out she has a three year old daughter."

"It's too bad," said Monica hotly. "She deserves someone nice. But then, Emily deserves a job – "

"And Joey deserves better parts," Rachel chimed in.

"And Phoebe deserves … something that would make her really happy," Monica finished. "Boy, we still have a lot to do for our friends, haven't we?"

"Well, we owe them a lot," said Rachel. "They've been very supportive." She looked at her watch. "Omigod, I'm going to be late! Luckily, I've built up a lot of credit at Ralph Lauren, so I don't suppose they'll kick too much." She jumped up.

"I'm glad you're doing so well in your new job," said Monica. "Mind, I always thought you could do it."

"Always?" Rachel queried, grinning. "No, don't answer that. It's how we feel now that counts."

They embraced fervently, and then Rachel took off at a near-run. It was true, Monica found it hard to remember how she had used to think Rachel lazy and thoughtless. Their relationship had brought out unexpected qualities in Rachel, just as, she hoped, it had in her. Certainly, she found herself far less obsessed with trivia and less ferociously competitive than she had used to be.

It occurred to her as she cleared up that Phoebe had not come to breakfast again; she wondered if she was okay. She hardly expected to see Ross and Emily at breakfast, though it had happened once or twice – Emily was a somewhat hit-and-miss housekeeper – and when Kathy was visiting Chandler they and Joey rarely came over. In some ways it was a relief not to have people milling around, but she had to admit that she missed it sometimes.

The phone rang. It was Janice.

"Hey, Monica," she babbled cheerfully. "A little bird told me that some great love of your past is back in town."

"How in hell did you hear that?" said Monica in real surprise.

"Oh, Ross mentioned it, and he had it from your mother. Well, I just wondered … was it difficult for you?"

Monica found herself pouring out the whole story to Janice, grateful for a friendly ear from someone who was not closely involved. Janice made sympathetic noises.

"And the worst thing is," Monica finished, "I remember him as so mature. But he's not taking it at all well."

"Whatever he says, I guess he could have taken it better if you'd married another man," said Janice shrewdly. "But to be cut out by a woman! That hits a lot of men right where they live, however liberal they think themselves. So, he might drop in Saturday? Shall I drop in too? I'm curious, to be honest."

"We're always glad to see you, Janice," said Monica sincerely. "But what about Maggie?"

"I'll work out a deal," said Janice confidently. "See you then. Oh, and here's something: when he sees you and Rachel together, he ought to get the message. I've never seen such a pair of lovebirds." With a laugh that had more than a trace of her old cackle, she hung up.