||Okay, now, stuff in these spiffy brackets are thoughts.||
||Are you reading my mind?||
I am SO sorry it took me so long to post! I've had a summer lapse into the world of Los Angeles (particularly "24" and "Angel", respectively), but the anticipation for JAG's new episodes is getting me back into gear! (But I read spoilers! ::slaps wrists:: BAD ME! NEVER AGAIN LET ME DO THAT! I have a BAD habit of reading spoilers - I know "24" tidbits too.) But you wouldn't beLIeve the future JAG world I created in my free time..not writing this story like I..should have been yeah.
I want to thank my twin (Tomcat-JAG). She's been a big help to me, encouraging me and giving suggestions and stuff. (And by the way, review replies are in with the reviews.)
And again, the POV changes often and without forewarning of any sort, sorry for any confusion.
::sighs:: Here we go again...
* * *
"Are you coming?" Harm asked.
She looked up at him blankly. "To JAG? Why?"
"Well... I was just thinking you should." ||I'm not going to let us drift apart so easily,|| he thought.
"There really isn't any reason for me to go in. It's my day of leave." She wanted to go, but for now, she wanted their new relationship to be kept to themselves. She didn't want to face those people with that information a day before his departure.
"Make something up," he suggested. "Say you wanted to pick up some case files of mine."
He had case files? She was surprised that the Admiral had taken him back at all, let alone given him cases straight away. But he'd made a good point. She would have to do that anyway.
"Please Mac," he said sincerely.
He really needed her there, she realized.
She nodded at him.
They decided to take separate vehicles. As they walked inside together, Mac said, "So what are we going to do?"
"About what?"
"About... this? Us? You, me...?"
He sighed. "I don't know yet. We'll have to wait it out and see." He looked her right in the eyes. "We will figure it out."
"I know we will."
They got on the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, Harm pulled her into a very much unexpected kiss. Many thoughts, including camera what-if-people-see public-display-of-affection relationship-under-same-chain-of-command, crossed her mind, but quickly, none of it mattered. And Harm seemed to have the elevator ride timed down to the millisecond, because a fraction of that second before the doors reopened, he drew himself away from her and faced the door as though nothing had happened. He exited leaving Mac quite dazed.
As soon as he stepped onto the floor, everyone turned to look up at him. Then they all began chatting happily again. Those who knew Harm dropped what they were doing to greet him. He glanced back.
Mac was gone.
- - -
"How could I be so forgetful?" she wondered aloud. She'd left the keys to her office in her car.
"He probably thinks I got spooked and left," she said. But she was a Marine. He'd figure it out.
But she was the same Marine who had cried herself dry into his shirt the night before. Maybe he wouldn't.
||What if he doesn't? Maybe he does think I've left for good. Most likely, he thinks I don't want to deal with this. What will I say when I go back inside? I could have said, 'Hey, Harm, I forgot my keys, I'll be right back.' But no, I had to be a wuss about it. What am I going to do?||
- - -
||She probably just forgot her keys.||
His suspicion was confirmed a few minutes later as he saw her get off the elevator and head straight to her office. He was surprised at her look of relief as he smiled warmly at her. He didn't know that she'd been so devoted to the idea of being 'involved' with him that she was afraid that the tiniest transgression would shatter the relationship like porcelain.
"Excuse me," he said to the PO's he'd been chatting with. He made his way toward Mac's office.
"Ah, Commander, you came," Chegwidden said from behind him without a trace of surprise. "The Colonel wouldn't happen to be here, would she?"
"She is."
"Good. Get her and come to my office, now."
"Sir."
By the time he finally got to her office, several minutes had passed - people kept stopping him. The door was slightly open. He pushed in on it gently to find Mac with a tear-stained face and Harriet patting her back, trying to calm her.
He could hardly stand to watch her cry. Mac wiped her tears away. "What?" she asked sharply.
"Uh, th-... the Admiral needs us," he stuttered. He wasn't sure he should speak words for fear of upsetting her more. He felt responsible for her feeling this way.
Mac got up and abruptly exited the room, pushing past Harm. He watched her head toward the bathroom. He didn't follow her - she obviously wanted a moment alone.
"Good choice, Sir," Harriet said. She beckoned him inside. He did as he was told and sat in the chair next to her. They were silent for a minute.
"She really loves you, you know?"
That realization of that fact hit him so hard that he felt as though stones had been dropped into the pit of his stomach. The woman that he loved loved him. He was suddenly afraid that he might not be able to live up to her expectations, or provide for her what she needed. The thought scared him.
"Did she say that?" he gulped.
"She didn't have to." Harriet smiled. "And neither do you." She spoke calmly, like a mentor, rather than her usual giddy self when it came to Harm and Mac's relationship. "I noticed that look of yours when you saw her. That look that said, 'I'd do anything in the world to make her... just feel better.' "
She was right, he realized.
"You know I'm right, don't you?" Harriet asked. "Sir," she added quickly. He narrowed an eye. "And you want to know how I read your mind." He laughed, amazed. "Your eyes give away too much."
"My eyes?"
"Yes! You and Mac could go on the rest of your lives without speaking a word."
The rest of his life with Mac...
"Now, you have an Admiral's office to visit," she reminded him.
He smiled. "Thanks for keeping my head on straight."
"No problem."
- - -
When he reached his destination, Mac was already waiting inside. Somehow, she had made herself look as though she had not been crying. He was amazed. How could she do that?
"At ease, sit down," Chegwidden instructed. As they did so, he mentioned, "It's strange giving you two orders in such..." He trailed off, looking Mac up and down. "...Civilian dress."
Harm, surprised at the Admiral's comment, glanced over at Mac. She was wearing a little white tank top and, to say the least, tight jeans. She shifted nervously in her chair, like she had forgotten that AJ would have to see her dressed this way.
"I suppose you know what this is about."
They weren't sure, really.
"Colonel, among others, the biggest case you'll pick up from the Commander is..." They both sighed in relief. "... the defense of Petty Officer Cheryl Mandan."
She nodded. "Charged with murdering her husband's mistress?"
"Yeah, with no evidence against her but motive," Harm added.
The Admiral sighed with a hint of irritation.
"I trust that there was no inappropriate interaction between two highly respected lawyers and officers under the Department of the Navy."
They were both caught off guard. They expected it to be asked, but not at that moment.
"No, Sir," they both replied in unison. Chegwidden narrowed his eyes at them, seeming very suspicious that they answered the exact same way. But he appeared satisfied.
"Colonel, you'll also manage the defense of a Lieutenant Matheson, and the investigation of Marine Captain Spellum."
"What about the Commander's theft case?"
"Ah, that one goes to Lt. Roberts, sorry to disappoint you. Any questions, either of you?"
Both shook their heads.
"Alright then, get out of here."
They stood at attention. "Yes, Sir."
"Were you two aware that you are out of uniform?" AJ asked.
They laughed. "Habit," they both said, and immediately realized their folly at responding the same way - yet again. It was like their brains were wired together.
Chegwidden didn't seem to mind this time. "Be safe, Commander."
"Thank you, Sir."
As soon as they left the room, Harm turned around to Mac. "Do you want lunch?"
"Yeah." She still looked a bit out of it.
"Hey, are you alright?"
"Yeah."
She did not look it. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, forget what everyone else may think. "Come on," he said as he moved her toward the elevator. "And when we get finished we have to go back to my place."
"Why?"
"I've got someone I want you to meet."
He could tell that she was not thrilled at the idea of meeting someone.
* * *
After and uneventful last lunch and an afternoon on the town, he drove her to his apartment. As he came in the door, he seemed to be waiting for this person to come out. Mac got suspicious. She couldn't see anyone, and from his door, she could see practically every inch of his apartment. There was no one here.
"Tom, buddy, come out," he said. ||Okay, it's a guy,|| she thought. ||What should I think of that?||
All of a sudden, she felt something rubbing against her ankles. She looked down.
...A cat?
"Harm, what the hell are you doing with a cat?"
"He's mine," he answered smilingly.
She bent down to pet him and suddenly realized Harm's pun.
"Oh, for God's sake, Harm, you named him Tom."
He laughed. "And?"
"He's a tomcat, you F-14 pilot."
"So what?" he asked in mock innocence.
She could do nothing but laugh in response. "Why did you get a pet, anyway?" He did seem like more of a cat person, but she never imagined he'd really get one.
"Well, I got him about a week before I learned I'd be shipped out."
"You've had a cat that long and I was never told?"
"Uh..." He began talking again to avoid her comment. "Now I don't know what to do with him. Could you look after him while I'm gone?"
"Of course."
"I don't know how well he'd get along with your dog, so he can stay here."
"Oh, nonsense, he shouldn't spend his first six months at your place of residence without a human to annoy at night. It's what cats are for."
"Are you sure? By the time I get back, he'd be used to your place -"
"That is a good point. But by that time, he'd be used to me, as well."
"Well, then you'd have to come live with me." He grinned, but with a certain amount of seriousness.
She tilted her head with a smile. "I guess I'd have to agree."
||Did that seriously just happen to me?|| she thought. ||Did that really happen? Did he actually just make plans for me to move in with him upon his return? Oh my god, I love that damn cat...||
He came around behind her and slid her jacket off her shoulders. "Stay a while," he seemed to plead.
"I will, don't worry."
At that moment, she realized that his leaving wasn't only her loss. He would miss her, as well. She hadn't yet considered that end of the situation.
She sighed. She felt a migraine creeping its way toward existence. Harm watched as the look in her eyes changed.
"Are you alright, Mac?"
She was busy concentrating on a spot on the floor.
"Mac?"
"Hm?" she acknowleged as she broke her stare with the floor.
"Are you alright?" he reiterated.
"Yeah. I'm just getting a headache."
"I don't believe you."
"What?"
" 'Just a headache' never changes your composure like that."
"I'm fine, really. Whatever happened, it's already passed."
"Mac."
"What?"
He stared as though that alone would make her tell the truth.
"What's on your mind?"
She was about to reply but was startled as he took her by the shoulders and directed her to the couch. "Speak," he instructed.
"What, Harm, what do you want to hear?"
He glanced toward the darkening window. "I want to hear what you need to tell me."
"Which is?" She was getting frustrated. Why couldn't he just get to the point?
Because he had suddenly become a psycological genius, or something. Patiently, he answered, "Not what I want to hear, but what you want to say. I know there's something you really want to tell me. Just say it, Mac."
She stared at him. God, his eyes were beautiful.
Mac didn't answer him with words, like he'd expected. She just snuggled under his arm and sighed contentedly. He accepted this as her reply.
She fell asleep.
* * *
Mac woke up a while later. She heard Harm padding around, or rather pacing, his apartment. The apartment was dim, with the light maybe coming from the bathroom. Mac actually wasn't sure of the time, but it was black outside. She thought she heard faint raindrops. Then she realized Harm had replaced a large pillow under her, and a sheet was tucked lovingly around her. When she gained a bit more consciousness, she became aware of her splitting headache. She remembered vaguely asking Harm for a few Ibuprofen, and him sitting at the foot of the couch, presiding over her as she swallowed them in one gulp. She rested her head on the pillow, but fell right back asleep.
* * *
She awoke again to find herself laying neatly on Harm's mattress, under his comforter. She breathed deep. Even his bed smelled wonderful. Her headache was completely gone. Mac could tell it was only almost two in the morning.
She sat up a bit. Harm was still up and walking around, in deep thought. He glanced up as he heard her stir. She involuntarliy shivered.
"Are you warm enough?" he asked.
"No, come here," she said.
He caught her drift quick enough. He went to her and laid himself down beside her. He placed his arms around her waist.
Mac felt the most comfortable she ever had. She could spend the rest of her life like this. With his chest against her back, she fit perfectly into the curve he created, their arms intertwined in front of her. The rain and sporadic thunder made a beautiful background noise as Harm and Mac enjoyed what they'd wanted for so long - a real chance at a real relationship with each other.
She realized that, no matter what, they would work out. They would.
||Are you reading my mind?||
I am SO sorry it took me so long to post! I've had a summer lapse into the world of Los Angeles (particularly "24" and "Angel", respectively), but the anticipation for JAG's new episodes is getting me back into gear! (But I read spoilers! ::slaps wrists:: BAD ME! NEVER AGAIN LET ME DO THAT! I have a BAD habit of reading spoilers - I know "24" tidbits too.) But you wouldn't beLIeve the future JAG world I created in my free time..not writing this story like I..should have been yeah.
I want to thank my twin (Tomcat-JAG). She's been a big help to me, encouraging me and giving suggestions and stuff. (And by the way, review replies are in with the reviews.)
And again, the POV changes often and without forewarning of any sort, sorry for any confusion.
::sighs:: Here we go again...
* * *
"Are you coming?" Harm asked.
She looked up at him blankly. "To JAG? Why?"
"Well... I was just thinking you should." ||I'm not going to let us drift apart so easily,|| he thought.
"There really isn't any reason for me to go in. It's my day of leave." She wanted to go, but for now, she wanted their new relationship to be kept to themselves. She didn't want to face those people with that information a day before his departure.
"Make something up," he suggested. "Say you wanted to pick up some case files of mine."
He had case files? She was surprised that the Admiral had taken him back at all, let alone given him cases straight away. But he'd made a good point. She would have to do that anyway.
"Please Mac," he said sincerely.
He really needed her there, she realized.
She nodded at him.
They decided to take separate vehicles. As they walked inside together, Mac said, "So what are we going to do?"
"About what?"
"About... this? Us? You, me...?"
He sighed. "I don't know yet. We'll have to wait it out and see." He looked her right in the eyes. "We will figure it out."
"I know we will."
They got on the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, Harm pulled her into a very much unexpected kiss. Many thoughts, including camera what-if-people-see public-display-of-affection relationship-under-same-chain-of-command, crossed her mind, but quickly, none of it mattered. And Harm seemed to have the elevator ride timed down to the millisecond, because a fraction of that second before the doors reopened, he drew himself away from her and faced the door as though nothing had happened. He exited leaving Mac quite dazed.
As soon as he stepped onto the floor, everyone turned to look up at him. Then they all began chatting happily again. Those who knew Harm dropped what they were doing to greet him. He glanced back.
Mac was gone.
- - -
"How could I be so forgetful?" she wondered aloud. She'd left the keys to her office in her car.
"He probably thinks I got spooked and left," she said. But she was a Marine. He'd figure it out.
But she was the same Marine who had cried herself dry into his shirt the night before. Maybe he wouldn't.
||What if he doesn't? Maybe he does think I've left for good. Most likely, he thinks I don't want to deal with this. What will I say when I go back inside? I could have said, 'Hey, Harm, I forgot my keys, I'll be right back.' But no, I had to be a wuss about it. What am I going to do?||
- - -
||She probably just forgot her keys.||
His suspicion was confirmed a few minutes later as he saw her get off the elevator and head straight to her office. He was surprised at her look of relief as he smiled warmly at her. He didn't know that she'd been so devoted to the idea of being 'involved' with him that she was afraid that the tiniest transgression would shatter the relationship like porcelain.
"Excuse me," he said to the PO's he'd been chatting with. He made his way toward Mac's office.
"Ah, Commander, you came," Chegwidden said from behind him without a trace of surprise. "The Colonel wouldn't happen to be here, would she?"
"She is."
"Good. Get her and come to my office, now."
"Sir."
By the time he finally got to her office, several minutes had passed - people kept stopping him. The door was slightly open. He pushed in on it gently to find Mac with a tear-stained face and Harriet patting her back, trying to calm her.
He could hardly stand to watch her cry. Mac wiped her tears away. "What?" she asked sharply.
"Uh, th-... the Admiral needs us," he stuttered. He wasn't sure he should speak words for fear of upsetting her more. He felt responsible for her feeling this way.
Mac got up and abruptly exited the room, pushing past Harm. He watched her head toward the bathroom. He didn't follow her - she obviously wanted a moment alone.
"Good choice, Sir," Harriet said. She beckoned him inside. He did as he was told and sat in the chair next to her. They were silent for a minute.
"She really loves you, you know?"
That realization of that fact hit him so hard that he felt as though stones had been dropped into the pit of his stomach. The woman that he loved loved him. He was suddenly afraid that he might not be able to live up to her expectations, or provide for her what she needed. The thought scared him.
"Did she say that?" he gulped.
"She didn't have to." Harriet smiled. "And neither do you." She spoke calmly, like a mentor, rather than her usual giddy self when it came to Harm and Mac's relationship. "I noticed that look of yours when you saw her. That look that said, 'I'd do anything in the world to make her... just feel better.' "
She was right, he realized.
"You know I'm right, don't you?" Harriet asked. "Sir," she added quickly. He narrowed an eye. "And you want to know how I read your mind." He laughed, amazed. "Your eyes give away too much."
"My eyes?"
"Yes! You and Mac could go on the rest of your lives without speaking a word."
The rest of his life with Mac...
"Now, you have an Admiral's office to visit," she reminded him.
He smiled. "Thanks for keeping my head on straight."
"No problem."
- - -
When he reached his destination, Mac was already waiting inside. Somehow, she had made herself look as though she had not been crying. He was amazed. How could she do that?
"At ease, sit down," Chegwidden instructed. As they did so, he mentioned, "It's strange giving you two orders in such..." He trailed off, looking Mac up and down. "...Civilian dress."
Harm, surprised at the Admiral's comment, glanced over at Mac. She was wearing a little white tank top and, to say the least, tight jeans. She shifted nervously in her chair, like she had forgotten that AJ would have to see her dressed this way.
"I suppose you know what this is about."
They weren't sure, really.
"Colonel, among others, the biggest case you'll pick up from the Commander is..." They both sighed in relief. "... the defense of Petty Officer Cheryl Mandan."
She nodded. "Charged with murdering her husband's mistress?"
"Yeah, with no evidence against her but motive," Harm added.
The Admiral sighed with a hint of irritation.
"I trust that there was no inappropriate interaction between two highly respected lawyers and officers under the Department of the Navy."
They were both caught off guard. They expected it to be asked, but not at that moment.
"No, Sir," they both replied in unison. Chegwidden narrowed his eyes at them, seeming very suspicious that they answered the exact same way. But he appeared satisfied.
"Colonel, you'll also manage the defense of a Lieutenant Matheson, and the investigation of Marine Captain Spellum."
"What about the Commander's theft case?"
"Ah, that one goes to Lt. Roberts, sorry to disappoint you. Any questions, either of you?"
Both shook their heads.
"Alright then, get out of here."
They stood at attention. "Yes, Sir."
"Were you two aware that you are out of uniform?" AJ asked.
They laughed. "Habit," they both said, and immediately realized their folly at responding the same way - yet again. It was like their brains were wired together.
Chegwidden didn't seem to mind this time. "Be safe, Commander."
"Thank you, Sir."
As soon as they left the room, Harm turned around to Mac. "Do you want lunch?"
"Yeah." She still looked a bit out of it.
"Hey, are you alright?"
"Yeah."
She did not look it. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, forget what everyone else may think. "Come on," he said as he moved her toward the elevator. "And when we get finished we have to go back to my place."
"Why?"
"I've got someone I want you to meet."
He could tell that she was not thrilled at the idea of meeting someone.
* * *
After and uneventful last lunch and an afternoon on the town, he drove her to his apartment. As he came in the door, he seemed to be waiting for this person to come out. Mac got suspicious. She couldn't see anyone, and from his door, she could see practically every inch of his apartment. There was no one here.
"Tom, buddy, come out," he said. ||Okay, it's a guy,|| she thought. ||What should I think of that?||
All of a sudden, she felt something rubbing against her ankles. She looked down.
...A cat?
"Harm, what the hell are you doing with a cat?"
"He's mine," he answered smilingly.
She bent down to pet him and suddenly realized Harm's pun.
"Oh, for God's sake, Harm, you named him Tom."
He laughed. "And?"
"He's a tomcat, you F-14 pilot."
"So what?" he asked in mock innocence.
She could do nothing but laugh in response. "Why did you get a pet, anyway?" He did seem like more of a cat person, but she never imagined he'd really get one.
"Well, I got him about a week before I learned I'd be shipped out."
"You've had a cat that long and I was never told?"
"Uh..." He began talking again to avoid her comment. "Now I don't know what to do with him. Could you look after him while I'm gone?"
"Of course."
"I don't know how well he'd get along with your dog, so he can stay here."
"Oh, nonsense, he shouldn't spend his first six months at your place of residence without a human to annoy at night. It's what cats are for."
"Are you sure? By the time I get back, he'd be used to your place -"
"That is a good point. But by that time, he'd be used to me, as well."
"Well, then you'd have to come live with me." He grinned, but with a certain amount of seriousness.
She tilted her head with a smile. "I guess I'd have to agree."
||Did that seriously just happen to me?|| she thought. ||Did that really happen? Did he actually just make plans for me to move in with him upon his return? Oh my god, I love that damn cat...||
He came around behind her and slid her jacket off her shoulders. "Stay a while," he seemed to plead.
"I will, don't worry."
At that moment, she realized that his leaving wasn't only her loss. He would miss her, as well. She hadn't yet considered that end of the situation.
She sighed. She felt a migraine creeping its way toward existence. Harm watched as the look in her eyes changed.
"Are you alright, Mac?"
She was busy concentrating on a spot on the floor.
"Mac?"
"Hm?" she acknowleged as she broke her stare with the floor.
"Are you alright?" he reiterated.
"Yeah. I'm just getting a headache."
"I don't believe you."
"What?"
" 'Just a headache' never changes your composure like that."
"I'm fine, really. Whatever happened, it's already passed."
"Mac."
"What?"
He stared as though that alone would make her tell the truth.
"What's on your mind?"
She was about to reply but was startled as he took her by the shoulders and directed her to the couch. "Speak," he instructed.
"What, Harm, what do you want to hear?"
He glanced toward the darkening window. "I want to hear what you need to tell me."
"Which is?" She was getting frustrated. Why couldn't he just get to the point?
Because he had suddenly become a psycological genius, or something. Patiently, he answered, "Not what I want to hear, but what you want to say. I know there's something you really want to tell me. Just say it, Mac."
She stared at him. God, his eyes were beautiful.
Mac didn't answer him with words, like he'd expected. She just snuggled under his arm and sighed contentedly. He accepted this as her reply.
She fell asleep.
* * *
Mac woke up a while later. She heard Harm padding around, or rather pacing, his apartment. The apartment was dim, with the light maybe coming from the bathroom. Mac actually wasn't sure of the time, but it was black outside. She thought she heard faint raindrops. Then she realized Harm had replaced a large pillow under her, and a sheet was tucked lovingly around her. When she gained a bit more consciousness, she became aware of her splitting headache. She remembered vaguely asking Harm for a few Ibuprofen, and him sitting at the foot of the couch, presiding over her as she swallowed them in one gulp. She rested her head on the pillow, but fell right back asleep.
* * *
She awoke again to find herself laying neatly on Harm's mattress, under his comforter. She breathed deep. Even his bed smelled wonderful. Her headache was completely gone. Mac could tell it was only almost two in the morning.
She sat up a bit. Harm was still up and walking around, in deep thought. He glanced up as he heard her stir. She involuntarliy shivered.
"Are you warm enough?" he asked.
"No, come here," she said.
He caught her drift quick enough. He went to her and laid himself down beside her. He placed his arms around her waist.
Mac felt the most comfortable she ever had. She could spend the rest of her life like this. With his chest against her back, she fit perfectly into the curve he created, their arms intertwined in front of her. The rain and sporadic thunder made a beautiful background noise as Harm and Mac enjoyed what they'd wanted for so long - a real chance at a real relationship with each other.
She realized that, no matter what, they would work out. They would.