Chapter 1: Illness Illusion
**********************
Hey everyone. This is my first fan fiction... for Harry Potter at least. So do forgive me if it's not at it's best and there are no OC's [at least I don't think there will be] but it's not exactly like the books. Actually that would be quite hard to accomplish for reasons I shall reveal a bit later. Until then please do enjoy! ^__^
Anyway as you all know I do not own any of the characters although what a joy it would be to own Draco and Harry and Sevvie and make them do what I wish... hehe ::cough:: anyway...
###############################################################
"You will be a death eater and make me proud. Do you understand?"
Draco stared at his father and with no expression nodded his head while he grumbled something. Expressionless, much how the boy always looked, to his father, his classmates, his professors... everyone. Completely cold and withdrawn. That was who Draco Malfoy was. And cruel of course, Draco was forever cruel, malicious, filled with a bitter disgust towards everyone.
"What did you say?"
Draco lifted his eyes to his towering father. "Yes father, I understand."
#######################################################################
Harry glared at his worst enemy... Draaco Malfoy. He couldn't stand the boy and all that he stood for. Harry couldn't quite comprehend why he was obssesed with the arrogant slynethevodr. Every moment though Harry couldnt stop thinking about he he detesed Malfoy and how he wished for the downfall of the boy. And yet through all this anger and madness there layed anohter emtion he coudlnt quite understand. All he knew was...
"Harry, are you listening?" Hermione stared at her friend who apparently hadn't heard a word she said. She raised an eyebrow at Ron who just shrugged his shoulders.
"What was that?" Harry replied shaking his head to clear himself of all his distorted thoughts.
"I was asking if you chose a partner for the potions project."
Harry moaned realizing he had completely forgot about the project. "Oh no 'Mione I forgot..."
"Your joking right!? That means Professor Snape is going to pick a partner for you depending on who else forgot to find a partner. And you know he won't be kind about it!"
"Yeah I know..." Harry mumbled as he took his belongings and departed the table leaving his friends behind he headed to the bathroom.
He couldn't believe he was gonna be stuck with whoever Snape chose and the fact that he had to complete a project when he was under so much stress from all his other class work made him utterly angry. And with the mood he was in... Lately Harry was completely down though he couldn't quite explain it. There was just so much stress put on him; he was being forced to accept he was the 'hero'. Harry hated when people referred to him as the boy who lived and other such names. He didn't like not being able to go anywhere with out whispers and gossiping... all talk about the boy who lived. It was just too much. Another unexplainable wave of emotion. There was only one way to calm himself. Now fully in the bathroom and doing a quick check to see that it was empty he punched the mirror before him with all his might. As if raining down a shower of silver sharp stars, the mirror shattered and fell down in pieces on the floor. Harry leant over and took the piece of glass that seemed sharpest. Arching it over his wrist he took a deep breath and plunged the metallic shard into his awaiting flesh. The was never more relief than seeing the deep crimson liquid form on his wrist and gracefully drip from his tan skin to the cold floor. The blood flowed lightly to the ground and he gasped feeling the bitter pain comfort him in ways he couldn't comprehend. Then reality came back. He was just stupid Harry Potter standing in an empty bathroom in front of a hollow in the wall where the mirror once lay. He didn't have any true problems, at least not anymore now that he was at Hogwarts, unlike others who had much more misery and actual reason to feel so. He was pathetic and he didn't deserve to feel pain, not like others. His anger towards himself increasing, he gripped tighter the shard in his hand causing the piece of mirror to cut into his hand and fingers now, the same usual crimson blood pouring unto the floor. He wasn't worthy for any of this, he had no reason to feel sorry for himself and more than anything Harry detested self-pity. But still he hated feeling out of control, not feeling worth a damn, oh how he hated himself! With that he dropped the piece of glass ready to clean his wrist and then leave but he was suddenly thrown out of his routine. The door swung open and standing in the door way ... none other than Draco Malfoy.
Harry bit back a scowl at his bitter disappointment to find his only enemy standing there at the door.
"What are you doing here?" Harry hissed in a raspy voice that was low but threatening with a hint of hurt in it was well.
"Your bleeding" Draco replied in a cold voice with no evident expression on his pale face.
Harry was angered by the boys lack on emotion and the mere fact that out of all people, Draco Malfoy had to be the one to enter the bathroom and find Harry in such a vulnerable state. Still he couldn't respond to Draco's dry comment and the two boys stared at eachother in silence for a few moments unable to break eye contact. Draco's placid silver pools stared into Harry's pure dark green eyes. Harry saw a clear, cold and distant look in Draco's eyes and yet there was something else he couldn't quite decipher. Perhaps well-concealed angst? Nevertheless Draco found himself unable to pull away from Harry's eyes as well, observing them explore his, though, made him suddenly feel uncomfortable and, dare he say, vulnerable. Taking one more look Draco sharply broke the trance and glanced to the broken mirror. Harry, somewhat startled by Draco's sudden movement, felt a strong bitterness creep into his being.
"Just leave Mafloy", He said quietly but nearly dangerously.
The anger in Harry's voice half intrigued/half startled the Slytherindor Draco had to remember who he was. He was a Malfoy he couldn't and didn't feel any emotion. He couldn't afford it and this was how he had been brought up to be. But all these words he whispered in his mind did nothing to sway this burgeoning emotion and he felt, inevitably, one of his many walls and coldness fall as he glared into Harry's emerald eyes which reflected nothing back to him but bottomless misery.
"Harry..."
Harry paused for a moment realizing that for the first time Draco used his actual first name instead of calling him potter. But only for a moment. He quickly scowled and walked over the broken glass, past Malfoy and stormed out the bathroom.
**********************************************************************
Left in despair
Whisper mistakes that cannot be forgiven
Don't you wish for the rain again
To cleanse these wounds
I cry to the sky
Though it never responds
This hate its goes again
I smile in spite of it all
Let me tear my heart tonight
Let the blood flow
Let me cry until I am dead inside
I like it better this way
I wished for more then this
But silence resides
Take my soul if it makes you happy
I don't want it anyway
Let me bleed my sorrow
I want this
Take it away
The screaming glass is silent now
I felt heartbreak until I bleed
But now its empty
********************************************************************
Okay so that's it for now... I wish I could do better but this is my first time and I'll try my best to improve for later chapters. And I'll try to make them longer! Anyway please please please review! All types of reviews are welcome just please try not to be too harsh, this is my first. Hope you liked it! And by the way this isn't a song fic but I just decided that when useful to add some original poetry to the end of the chapter. ^__^ Thanks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**********************
Hey everyone. This is my first fan fiction... for Harry Potter at least. So do forgive me if it's not at it's best and there are no OC's [at least I don't think there will be] but it's not exactly like the books. Actually that would be quite hard to accomplish for reasons I shall reveal a bit later. Until then please do enjoy! ^__^
Anyway as you all know I do not own any of the characters although what a joy it would be to own Draco and Harry and Sevvie and make them do what I wish... hehe ::cough:: anyway...
###############################################################
"You will be a death eater and make me proud. Do you understand?"
Draco stared at his father and with no expression nodded his head while he grumbled something. Expressionless, much how the boy always looked, to his father, his classmates, his professors... everyone. Completely cold and withdrawn. That was who Draco Malfoy was. And cruel of course, Draco was forever cruel, malicious, filled with a bitter disgust towards everyone.
"What did you say?"
Draco lifted his eyes to his towering father. "Yes father, I understand."
#######################################################################
Harry glared at his worst enemy... Draaco Malfoy. He couldn't stand the boy and all that he stood for. Harry couldn't quite comprehend why he was obssesed with the arrogant slynethevodr. Every moment though Harry couldnt stop thinking about he he detesed Malfoy and how he wished for the downfall of the boy. And yet through all this anger and madness there layed anohter emtion he coudlnt quite understand. All he knew was...
"Harry, are you listening?" Hermione stared at her friend who apparently hadn't heard a word she said. She raised an eyebrow at Ron who just shrugged his shoulders.
"What was that?" Harry replied shaking his head to clear himself of all his distorted thoughts.
"I was asking if you chose a partner for the potions project."
Harry moaned realizing he had completely forgot about the project. "Oh no 'Mione I forgot..."
"Your joking right!? That means Professor Snape is going to pick a partner for you depending on who else forgot to find a partner. And you know he won't be kind about it!"
"Yeah I know..." Harry mumbled as he took his belongings and departed the table leaving his friends behind he headed to the bathroom.
He couldn't believe he was gonna be stuck with whoever Snape chose and the fact that he had to complete a project when he was under so much stress from all his other class work made him utterly angry. And with the mood he was in... Lately Harry was completely down though he couldn't quite explain it. There was just so much stress put on him; he was being forced to accept he was the 'hero'. Harry hated when people referred to him as the boy who lived and other such names. He didn't like not being able to go anywhere with out whispers and gossiping... all talk about the boy who lived. It was just too much. Another unexplainable wave of emotion. There was only one way to calm himself. Now fully in the bathroom and doing a quick check to see that it was empty he punched the mirror before him with all his might. As if raining down a shower of silver sharp stars, the mirror shattered and fell down in pieces on the floor. Harry leant over and took the piece of glass that seemed sharpest. Arching it over his wrist he took a deep breath and plunged the metallic shard into his awaiting flesh. The was never more relief than seeing the deep crimson liquid form on his wrist and gracefully drip from his tan skin to the cold floor. The blood flowed lightly to the ground and he gasped feeling the bitter pain comfort him in ways he couldn't comprehend. Then reality came back. He was just stupid Harry Potter standing in an empty bathroom in front of a hollow in the wall where the mirror once lay. He didn't have any true problems, at least not anymore now that he was at Hogwarts, unlike others who had much more misery and actual reason to feel so. He was pathetic and he didn't deserve to feel pain, not like others. His anger towards himself increasing, he gripped tighter the shard in his hand causing the piece of mirror to cut into his hand and fingers now, the same usual crimson blood pouring unto the floor. He wasn't worthy for any of this, he had no reason to feel sorry for himself and more than anything Harry detested self-pity. But still he hated feeling out of control, not feeling worth a damn, oh how he hated himself! With that he dropped the piece of glass ready to clean his wrist and then leave but he was suddenly thrown out of his routine. The door swung open and standing in the door way ... none other than Draco Malfoy.
Harry bit back a scowl at his bitter disappointment to find his only enemy standing there at the door.
"What are you doing here?" Harry hissed in a raspy voice that was low but threatening with a hint of hurt in it was well.
"Your bleeding" Draco replied in a cold voice with no evident expression on his pale face.
Harry was angered by the boys lack on emotion and the mere fact that out of all people, Draco Malfoy had to be the one to enter the bathroom and find Harry in such a vulnerable state. Still he couldn't respond to Draco's dry comment and the two boys stared at eachother in silence for a few moments unable to break eye contact. Draco's placid silver pools stared into Harry's pure dark green eyes. Harry saw a clear, cold and distant look in Draco's eyes and yet there was something else he couldn't quite decipher. Perhaps well-concealed angst? Nevertheless Draco found himself unable to pull away from Harry's eyes as well, observing them explore his, though, made him suddenly feel uncomfortable and, dare he say, vulnerable. Taking one more look Draco sharply broke the trance and glanced to the broken mirror. Harry, somewhat startled by Draco's sudden movement, felt a strong bitterness creep into his being.
"Just leave Mafloy", He said quietly but nearly dangerously.
The anger in Harry's voice half intrigued/half startled the Slytherindor Draco had to remember who he was. He was a Malfoy he couldn't and didn't feel any emotion. He couldn't afford it and this was how he had been brought up to be. But all these words he whispered in his mind did nothing to sway this burgeoning emotion and he felt, inevitably, one of his many walls and coldness fall as he glared into Harry's emerald eyes which reflected nothing back to him but bottomless misery.
"Harry..."
Harry paused for a moment realizing that for the first time Draco used his actual first name instead of calling him potter. But only for a moment. He quickly scowled and walked over the broken glass, past Malfoy and stormed out the bathroom.
**********************************************************************
Left in despair
Whisper mistakes that cannot be forgiven
Don't you wish for the rain again
To cleanse these wounds
I cry to the sky
Though it never responds
This hate its goes again
I smile in spite of it all
Let me tear my heart tonight
Let the blood flow
Let me cry until I am dead inside
I like it better this way
I wished for more then this
But silence resides
Take my soul if it makes you happy
I don't want it anyway
Let me bleed my sorrow
I want this
Take it away
The screaming glass is silent now
I felt heartbreak until I bleed
But now its empty
********************************************************************
Okay so that's it for now... I wish I could do better but this is my first time and I'll try my best to improve for later chapters. And I'll try to make them longer! Anyway please please please review! All types of reviews are welcome just please try not to be too harsh, this is my first. Hope you liked it! And by the way this isn't a song fic but I just decided that when useful to add some original poetry to the end of the chapter. ^__^ Thanks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~