Chapter Eighteen:

A/N: I don't mean to complain, but I didn't get very many reviews last chapter and it made me very sad! :( lol pleeeease review…I'll love u forever!

James and Lily sprang apart and glanced across the lake worriedly. Lily gasped when she saw her sister shaking on the ground.

"Petunia?" she shouted, her voice echoing loudly in the dark woods. Petunia suddenly jumped up and stumbled backwards, before turning and running into the darkness. Lily started to run forward, but stopped when icy water flooded her ankles.

"Come on," James said briskly, taking Lily's hand and running deeper into the woods.

"She's going to get lost!" Lily gasped, nearly tripping over a log.

"We'll find her," James said reassuringly. They were finally on the other side of the big lake, but Petunia was nowhere to be seen. James and Lily ran along the path Petunia had disappeared into, surrounded by darkness. Lily tightened her grip on James's hand as looming branches scraped against her cheeks and shoulders.

"I can't run anymore!" Lily cried, gasping for air as she sank onto the moist ground. A sudden look of realization dawned over James's face. He yanked the Marauder's Map out of his pocket and peered at it closely. Just as he looked at Lily with wide eyes, they heard a loud scream from up ahead.

"Whomping Willow," James said hoarsely, pulling Lily to her feet before sprinting towards the deadly tree. After running close to half a mile, James abruptly stopped causing Lily to crash into him. Lily followed James's gaze to Petunia's limp body sprawled on the ground. The heavy branches of the willow continued to move violently while Petunia moaned and whimpered helplessly. A strangled sob escaped from Lily's throat before she moved forward to help her sister. James yanked her back right before a branch came crashing down to where her head had been.

"James, help her!" Lily sobbed, clutching James's arm. James gently freed his arm from Lily's grasp and ran over to Petunia.

"Come on, sweetheart," he whispered, bending down to pick up Petunia. He heard Lily scream his name, and turned around to see a heavy branch hurl into him, knocking him flat onto the ground. James groaned and slowly sat up, clutching his stomach in pain. He turned to Petunia and quickly scooped her into his arms before standing and running to where Lily stood.

James slowly lowered Petunia onto the ground. Lily knelt down beside her sister, tears streaming down her cheeks. Petunia's face was covered with bleeding scratches, and her clothes were ripped everywhere. Her brown hair was matted against the blood on her forehead and a dark bruise was beginning to form on her jaw. Lily reached out to touch Petunia's face, when Petunia's eyes suddenly snapped open.

"Don't touch me!" Petunia hissed vehemently, edging away. Lily looked at her in shock.

"Petunia," she began.

"You're a freak!" Petunia spat viciously. Her eyes burned as she looked at James, "You're both freaks!"

"You need to go to the hospital wing," James said gently, stepping towards her.

"Stay away, you freak!" Petunia screamed. James stared at her silently before looking at Lily.

"Petunia, you're hurt," Lily whispered, her voice quivering. Petunia's brown eyes were icy and hateful as she glared at James and Lily.

"I hope you both burn in Hell," she said coldly, before passing out on the ground. Lily buried her face in her arms and began sobbing loudly. James took her hand and pulled her up into a tight hug. Then he picked up Petunia and walked with Lily back to the castle.

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James was stuck with patrolling the corridors by himself. Again. He had left Lily at the hospital wing with her parents, where Madam Pomfrey had promised to fix up Petunia in no time.

James was now unbelievably bored and still in pain – a horrible combination. He still had no idea why in the name of Merlin Petunia had to wander out into the forest by herself. And that look she had given him was chilling. This was a major issue James had with girls. They could be flirting with you one day and sending you death glares the next.

James suddenly spotted a chubby young boy waddling down the other end of the corridor. James lazily raised his wand and muttered, "Petrificus Totalus". The boy turned rigid as cardboard and fell backwards onto the floor. James's laughter echoed loudly in the corridor. It had been so long since he had hexed someone.

"I don't think Lily would find that quite as funny," a voice behind James said. James spun around to find Sirius wearing his usual grin.

"It's after hours, Padfoot," James said with mock authority. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm best friends with the Head Boy," he said nonchalantly. James laughed and looked at the frozen boy on the floor.

"I was bored," he shrugged.

"Ah, he'll be okay," Sirius said dismissively.

"So what are you doing here?" James asked as they continued walking down the corridor. Sirius shrugged.

"Moony and Wormtail were studying, so I decided to come keep you company," he replied.

"Thanks mate," James smiled.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Kailyn," Sirius said. James groaned.

"Moony wouldn't listen?" he guessed.

"Not for long, no," Sirius said, "I've got awful friends."

"Look Padfoot, she obviously wants more than a few good shags," James began.

"There haven't been any shags, let alone good ones!" Sirius interrupted. James quickly glanced around in embarrassment.

"Well, that's a surprise. But fine, she wants more than a few good snogs. But you usually don't want more than that. So you have to decide whether you are willing to, I dunno, have a relationship with her," he said.

"I've had a few relationships, Prongs!" Sirius said defensively.

"Right. I forgot about you and that blond woman you met at The Three Broomsticks." James said sarcastically.

"What about Elizabeth Martin? Two months, thank you very much!" Sirius practically shouted. James smiled.

"Why'd you two break up? Oh, that's right. She found out you were cheating on her," he said in amusement. Sirius's face fell.

"Oh, oh! How about Kelly…er, Kelly…you know, the one with brown curly hair," he said.

"Yes, I remember, Padfoot. I also happen to remember her last name." James laughed. Sirius frowned, his forehead scrunched in concentration as he followed James down the corridor.

"Hawthorne!" Sirius yelled triumphantly after a few moments. James laughed and shook his head.

"You must have been really into her," he said sarcastically. Sirius let out a fake, dry laugh.

"So Prongs, shagged Lily yet?" he asked sweetly. James turned red.

"Bastard," he muttered, starting to walk faster to get away from Sirius's ringing laughter. He suddenly paused outside a room when a glittering object caught his eye. He stepped inside the empty room and glanced around. It was the room he had seen Snape and Malfoy in a few days ago.

"Prongs?" Sirius remarked, popping his head into the room. James walked over to the small table in the middle of the room and peered closely at the gold goblet sitting on top of it. It looked exactly like the school goblets. Then James noticed a long piece of parchment lying next to it. There was a bunch of names written on it. James's eyes were immediately drawn to Lily's name. Bridget's name was a few names under Lily's. James scanned down to the P's, but did not see his name there. He did see Peter's name, though, and Remus's as well. James frowned and scanned the list again. He knew many of the people on there.

"What the hell is this?" he remarked, showing Sirius the parchment. Sirius glanced at it.

"A roster," he replied. James glared at him.

"For what?" he shouted.

"Dunno," Sirius shrugged, "What's the big deal, Prongs?"

"Lily's name is on it, and so is Peter's and Remus's. But mine or yours isn't. Bridget is on it, but Annabelle and Kailyn aren't. What could this possibly be for?" James frowned.

"Hardly any of the Slytherins are on it," Sirius observed. James studied the names again, trying to make some sort of connection between them.

"Snape and Malfoy were working on something in this room a few days ago," he said quietly, "They said they were studying."

"You think they made this list?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," James said wearily.

"Well, it would explain the horrible handwriting and grease smudges on the parchment," Sirius grinned. James laughed.

"The only list I can think of them making is some kind of hit list, like with all the Mug…" James suddenly trailed off and grabbed the parchment from Sirius's hands. He read every name on the list.

"It's a hit list?" Sirius asked in amazement. James's face paled.

"I think everyone on this list is Muggle born. Or at least halfblood," he said softly. Sirius looked at him with wide eyes.

"Well, it's not like they can do anything," he said reassuringly.

"I think I should show this to Dumbledore," James said.

"Are you sure? I mean, I don't think its going to be a problem, Prongs," Sirius said skeptically. James set the parchment down on the table and ran his hand through his hair.

"I don't know," he said hesitantly.

"Accio!" a loud voice suddenly boomed from the doorway. James looked up to see Malfoy standing there, with a piece of parchment flying towards him. James whipped his head towards the table where the parchment had been.

"Malfoy," he snarled, "Give it back."

"Why? It's not yours," Malfoy smirked.

"Is it yours?" James demanded.

"Maybe," Malfoy said nonchalantly. James advanced towards him threateningly. Malfoy quickly stuffed the parchment into his pocket.

"If it's not yours, I have every right to take it to Dumbledore," James said.

"Well, it's mine. So keep your big head out of my business," Malfoy snapped.

"As Head Boy it is my job to report suspicious things to the Headmaster," James said through gritted teeth.

"Along with shagging the mudblood Head Girl?" Malfoy leered. A deep growl escaped from the back of James's throat as he lunged himself at Malfoy. Sirius grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Come on Prongs, let it go," Sirius muttered. Malfoy smoothed out the front of his robes and shot a deep look of loathing at James before walking over to the table and grabbing the gold goblet. James caught a glimpse of a small picture of a snake engraved on the front of it as Malfoy carried it past him.

"I don't think the Headmaster would be concerned with our work," Malfoy said innocently, flashing James and Sirius a wicked smile before dashing out of the room.

"Bloody bastard," Sirius muttered, making a violent hand gesture.

"The goblets we drink out of…they don't have the House symbols on them, do they?" James asked vaguely. Sirius frowned.

"No, I don't think so. No, I'm pretty sure they don't," he replied.

"That goblet had a snake on it," James said.

"They're probably trying to design special Slytherin apparel," Sirius laughed bitterly. He glanced at James. "You okay, Prongs? I mean, you're taking this way too seriously."

"I just have a bad feeling," James said darkly.

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Lily trudged towards the common room, her eyes red and swollen from crying. She kept her gaze fixed on the floor and was trying hard to stop sniffling. She was still in complete shock from what Petunia had said to her in the forest. Out of all the hateful things her sister had ever said to her, this had been the worst. And that look Petunia had given her…it had been pure hatred.

Lily mumbled the password to the Fat Lad and stepped into the empty common room. She walked over to the sofa, surprised to find Remus sitting on the floor in front of the fire.

"Remus?" Lily said softly, crouching down beside him. Remus snapped out of his daze with a start and looked at Lily.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Nothing, I'll be fine," Lily sniffed.

"You didn't fight with James, did you?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow. Lily shook her head.

"It's my sister. She said some horrible things to me…and to James," she trembled. Remus sighed and gave Lily a hug.

"Don't listen to a word she says," he said, stroking Lily's hair.

"She hates me so much!" Lily sobbed, burying her face into Remus's shirt.

"She doesn't really hate you. You can't be hated," Remus said kindly. Lily looked down at her hands.

"I actually thought she was starting to come around. I thought she didn't have a problem with James. But I was wrong. All this family visit did was make her hate our world even more!" she said quietly. Remus frowned.

"She did look like she was having fun…at the Gryffindor party. And I thought she liked James too…she wanted one of his shirts. I thought she was proud that he was her sister's boyfriend," he said.

"I don't know, I'm so confused. She never understood me, and I guess I don't understand her." Lily said. Remus looked at her.

"Lily, you have so many people who care about you. Your parents, your friends. Me, Sirius, Peter…James," he said. Lily smiled.

"Sometimes being with James scares me," she laughed softly. Remus looked at her in surprise.

"Why?" he asked. Lily sighed and gazed into the fireplace.

"I've only been with him for, what, a month and a half? But I feel like…I think I'm in love with him. I can't even see my future without him in it," she whispered, her face reddening slightly. Remus smiled and patted her hand.

"You've been dating him for a month and a half. But you've been with him much longer," he said. Lily met his gaze, tears filling her eyes.

"I'm being so stupid! I'm like one of those helpless idiots on soap operas!" she muttered.

"No you're not," Remus laughed, "And I know James would die to hear you say those things."

"Don't tell him what I said!" Lily said sharply.

"I would never. That's the kind of thing he should hear straight from you." Remus said solemnly. Lily smiled and studied Remus's tired face.

"What were you doing here by yourself, anyway?" she asked, glancing at the unopened book beside him.

"Just thinking," Remus shrugged.

"You looked sort of confused," Lily said, "It isn't a girl, is it?" Remus laughed.

"The last time I let a girl get too close, she almost found out…about me. I'm never risking that again," he said bitterly. Lily's eyes widened.

"What do you mean 'never'?" she demanded, "You are smart, funny, handsome, and the nicest guy I know! Any girl would be lucky to have you!"

"Not once you add 'werewolf' to that description," Remus replied dryly.

"Remus, your three best friends don't care about that, do they? I don't care about that. So obviously when another girl who cares about you finds out, she won't care either!" Lily exclaimed.

"Maybe," Remus sighed, "But it doesn't bother me much right now."

"So what is bothering you right now?" Lily asked gently. Remus looked at her.

"You know James and Sirius want to be Aurors, right?" he asked. Lily nodded. "Well, Peter will probably follow them into it too. But me…lets just say it's not going to be easy for me to find something to do out there."

"What do you mean?" Lily frowned.

"Think about it. What job is going to let me leave for a few days every month? And once they find out what I am, what job is going to let me stay?" Remus asked.

"I'm sure people will overlook that," Lily said earnestly, "Surely they'll understand…"

"The world isn't full of Dumbledores, Lily," Remus interrupted quietly. Lily looked down at the floor uncomfortably.

"Your friends will always be behind you," she said. Remus smiled at her weakly.

"Thank you," he said. He glanced at the big clock on the wall. "I think I'm going to head on to bed." Lily nodded and stood up with him. She gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

"You're a great guy, Remus," she said kindly.

"Goodnight, Lily," Remus smiled. Lily smiled back before walking towards the portrait hole. Once she was outside the common room she walked down the corridors until she was in front of the Head dorm portrait.

"Sexiest couple in school," Lily said, rolling her eyes at the password James had decided on. Lily walked across the common area and knocked on James's bedroom door before peeking inside. James was lying on his back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling intently. He did not even noticed Lily until she sat next to him on the bed.

"Hey," James said, sitting up and giving Lily a kiss, "How's your sister?"
"She'll be fine by tomorrow," Lily replied. James nodded.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I've been better," Lily shrugged, "How about you? You look…strange."

"I found something…I don't know what it is or what it's for. Sirius doesn't think it's a big deal, but…I don't know. I just…I don't know," James mumbled.

"Why don't you ask Dumbledore about it?" Lily suggested. James rubbed his eyes wearily.

"Yeah, I think I will," he said, starting to stand up. Lily put her hand on his wrist.

"James, its eleven-thirty. Tell him tomorrow morning," she said.

"Oh. Right." James said, sinking back onto his bed.

"Are you sleeping here tonight?" Lily asked in surprise. Neither James nor she hardly ever slept in their private bedrooms. After spending six years with roommates, it was hard to leave them.

"Yes," James nodded, stifling a yawn.

"Goodnight, love," Lily smiled, taking James's glasses off and kissing his forehead. She placed his glasses on the bedside table and switched off the lamp.

"Sleep tight, Lils," James said, letting his worries drift away as he watched Lily glide out of his room.

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Remus stepped into the bathroom the next morning, immediately suffocated by hot mist and cologne. He waved the smell away and squinted to see Sirius standing in front of the mirror.

"What the bloody hell have you done?" Remus asked irritably.

"How do I look, Moony?" Sirius asked, turning to face Remus.

"Like a bleedin' carcass," Remus muttered, "Now tell me where you're going this early in the morning."

"I have to go talk to Kailyn," Sirius replied, adjusting his tie in front of the mirror.

"Planning on intoxicating her?" Remus joked dryly, picking up Sirius's bottle of cologne. Sirius snatched the bottle away from his friend and made a face.

"This stuff was expensive!" he huffed, storming out of the bathroom. Sirius looked himself over once more in the long mirror and headed downstairs into the common room. He walked over to Bridget and Annabelle, who took one look at him and began to giggle.

"Ladies," he said charmingly.

"Hullo, Sirius," Bridget chirped shyly.

"Do you know where I might find Kailyn?" Sirius asked.

"Er," Bridget began hesitantly, biting her lip as she glanced at Annabelle.

"Look Sirius, you might want to leave her alone for a bit. At least until she cools down," Annabelle said quietly.

"I like my plan better," Sirius murmured, watching Kailyn jog down the stairs. Their eyes met briefly when she reached the bottom. Sirius smiled and walked towards her. Kailyn turned to run back upstairs, but Sirius darted forward and caught her wrist.

"What do you want?" she asked nonchalantly.

"I need to talk to you to," Sirius replied. Kailyn tried not to look at his handsome face, and really wished that feeling in her stomach would go away.

"I was actually on my way to meet my brother," she said.

"This will only take a minute," Sirius said, his hand still wrapped around her wrist. Kailyn sighed and followed him over to the sofa.

"Make it quick, Sirius," Kailyn said impatiently. Sirius looked at the floor awkwardly.

"I…well…firstly, I want to apologize," he stammered.

"For what?" Kailyn asked sharply. Sirius met her intense gaze.

"For…hurting you," he said quietly. Kailyn glared at him suspiciously.

"Did James talk to you?" she demanded.

"Er…no," Sirius said hesitantly. Kailyn continued to look at him skeptically. "Anyway, I thought I should explain why I did what I did."

"You don't owe me anything, Sirius. Just like I don't owe you anything. I mean, its not like we were dating," Kailyn said bitterly.

"But we kind of were!" Sirius blurted out.

"Funny, I wasn't informed," Kailyn said dryly.

"What I mean is, I like you. A lot. I liked being around you a lot. And to me, it felt like we were dating because it was so different from what I usually have with girls!" Sirius exclaimed.

"It was different. You didn't shag me, remember?" Kailyn said coldly. Sirius looked down.

"It was more than that, Kails. You know I care about you. I liked having you around to talk to. I enjoyed every minute I spent with you," he said quietly.

"So what are you trying to say, Sirius?" Kailyn asked. Sirius looked at her.

"I…I like you more than I've ever liked any girl before. I wasn't seeing anyone else while I was…well, seeing you. Until Angela came…" he trailed off uncomfortably.

"You know what, I don't need to hear this," Kailyn said, starting to stand up.

"No, Kailyn, wait. I wasn't thinking…I didn't think about how you would feel because I'm not used to thinking about what anyone else feels when it comes to girls. That's just what I'm used to. I know its horrible, and I want to change, but…its not that easy. Sometimes I look at James and Lily and…and I want that. But other times…other times I like being me. I like flirting with any girl I feel like flirting with, and I like not knowing what I'm going to do next, or who I'm going to do it with. So, really, I have no idea what I really want. And you…I know you want more. You deserve more. You deserve a boyfriend who will keep you in the center of his world." Sirius looked at Kailyn, alarmed to see tears filling in her eyes.

"I wanted you," she whispered, "I didn't need anyone else. But I guess it wasn't enough for you." Sirius grabbed Kailyn's hands in his.

"I thought it was enough for me. But apparently, I have no self-control. And…I don't know. Like I said before, I'm so used to doing things a certain way. I want to be with you…badly. But the last thing I want to do is hurt you. And…right now, I can't promise you that I won't," he said sadly. Kailyn pulled one of her hands out of Sirius's and quickly wiped it across her eyes.

"I understand," she said, "Really, I do. Just…give me some time and I'll get over it." Kailyn stood up and gave Sirius a weak smile.

"Kailyn…" Sirius began.

"No, I mean it. I'll be okay," Kailyn said reassuringly.

"So, what's going to happen to us now?" Sirius asked. Kailyn flashed him a look of annoyance.

"I really haven't thought that far yet. I said I need some time to get over it…to get over you," she replied.

"But I don't want you to get over me!" Sirius said quickly. Kailyn stared at him.

"Well that's too bloody bad!" she shouted, before turning and running up the girls' staircase. Sirius slumped back into the sofa, throwing his hands up in despair.

"You really are a git," Remus said, coming towards his friend.

"See, this is why I don't do relationships," Sirius muttered. Remus sank into the chair across from Sirius.

"I assume you're going stag to the ball?" he asked. Sirius closed his eyes and groaned.

"I forgot all about the bloody ball!" he exclaimed.

"Well, that's a first," Remus observed.

"I should have asked Kailyn!" Sirius cried. Remus gave a short laugh.

"I'm sure she would have been delighted," he said sarcastically. Sirius glared at him.

"Who are you taking, then?" he said challengingly.

"No one," Remus shrugged, "I usually don't." Sirius scowled at the floor.

"Maybe I'll ask Angela," he said. Remus sighed.

"Now that's a brilliant way to get Kailyn to forgive you!" he said dryly. Sirius jumped to his feet angrily.

"Hey, I apologized to her! And if me not being able to have a steady relationship makes her want to throw everything we have away, she can go to Hell!" he shouted. He picked up a quill lying on the table and flung it across the room, before storming up the boys' staircase. Remus flinched as he heard their dormitory door close with a loud slam.

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Bits of scenes from next chapter (the Halloween ball):

"Will you go to the ball with me?" Bridget and Annabelle shrieked at the same time.

"Our Head Boy and Girl will lead the first dance!"

"I…I love you,"

Sirius tapped Kailyn on the shoulder, ignoring the furious glares he received from Rich Davies.

"You look like you could use a little fun," she breathed, before pulling Remus's face down to meet hers.

Lily kept her eyes fixed on James's as he slowly, achingly slowly, pulled the zipper down the back of her dress.

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A/N: Now that you've read, please review and tell me what you think, or anything at all! Or else I'll feel like a loser who writes things for absolutely no reason. So reeeeeeeview! lol and sorry this took so long… school wastes so much of my time!