Kay's Tragedy.

Ok yesterday (July 7/03) I saw the Next Time On Passions thing with Kay's water breaking and this fic just whacked into me and forced me to write it.

This is not in any way related to my other Passions fic.

I'm not an expert. I've never been pregnant let alone lost a child so forgive me if this isn't how it happens. I also don't know how far along Kay is on the Show. I don't know how to tell by looking at a woman so I'm just guessing 6 months.

If you're sensitive about things like this or have lost a child your self please don't read this I don't want to be the one to upset or hurt you.

Ok Now for the Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story.

WARNING: This story contains angst, death, losing a baby, and suicide. You have been warned!

Ok now on to the fic...

Kay's POV

It's been a week. I'm sitting in my room staring out the window at a nice sunny afternoon. It seems wrong that while my life is hell the world can go on being happy.

Tear's run in a steady stream down my face as they've done non-stop since it happened.

I hear someone knock on my door and enter. I don't bother to look up or speak. Why bother now? It's not like I've done it since then. Why should I start now.

"Kay? Kay can you hear me? I know you're in pain but you need to eat. It's not good to just sit in you're room and cry all the time. Please? Kay you have to leave this room sometime."

It's Miguel. The man who I loved more then my own life. The man who I sold my soul, turned to evil, and did any thing for. He's standing above me. He's rubbing my shoulder talking to me. He's worrying him self sick over me. So why am I not happy?

It feels like only minutes ago. It feels like it just happened. I can remember every detail. It's burned into my mind forever.

//Flashback//

"Ow! Oh god OW!" I yell as I feel like a knife if being stabbed into my belly.

"Kay? Kay what's wrong? Are you ok? Do you need me to get you're mother?" Miguel ask standing next to me looking worried.

Simone walks into the room carrying a glass. "Kay? What's going on? Why are you bent over like that?"

"S-Something's wrong with my baby!" I gasp clutching my belly as the pain flows over me.

Simone walks over and touches my arm. Suddenly there's a splash and my legs are wet. The three of us look down.

"Oh god! Kay your water broke!"

"NO! It's too soon! It's too soon!" I scream.

Miguel look shocked and horrified as he grabs the phone and calls 911. "Hello? I need help! My..uhh friend is in labor but it's too early! She's only 6 months along! You have to help!" He yells into the phone.

Mom, Tabitha, Charity, Ivy, David, John, Jessica, and Pilar hear the yelling and come to see what's wrong.

I'm bent over sobbing while Miguel is trying to get help and Simone is trying to hold me up.

"Kay? Sweetie what's wrong?" Mom asks coming over.

"Her water broke!" Simone yelled.

"What?!" Everyone in the room yells.

"Someone help my baby please!" I sob.

Miguel hangs up the phone and wraps an arm around me. "Shh. Shhh it'll be ok help is on the way we'll get you to the ER and you and the baby will be fine!"

We hear the sirens and soon EMTs are laying me down on a stretcher and we're racing to the ER.

In the ER Nurses and doctors swarm asking questions, sticking me with needles, and hooking my up to monitors.

All I can do is sob and beg them to save my baby.

I feel another stab of pain. "Oh god please! Please help me!" I sob.

"Oh god! She's fully dilated! The baby's coming! Get me someone from PICU now! We're gonna need warmers, infant intubation kit..." The doctor continues to yell out orders to everyone as she moves down between my legs.

"Ok Kay sweetie? You're going to have to push ok? You're baby's coming and we can't stop it so we have to get her born so we can treat her."

Tears run down my face as I push. In what seems like minutes suddenly the doctors and nurses are rushing across the room whispering orders and working franticly.

I sob my whole body shaking as I'm left alone and scared not knowing what's happening to my baby.

Miguel, Mom, Tabbitha, Jessica, and Simone peek around the curtain then walk over to me. "Kay Sweetie what's going on? How are you and the baby doing?" Mom asks.

I sob. "I-I-I don't know! T-T-They said they couldn't s-s-stop me from giving birth then the baby came and they rushed her over t-t-there and I don't know what'd happening to her!" I wail clutching Mom like I hadn't since I was a little kid.

Mom tightens her arms around me and strokes my hair. "Oh baby! My poor sweet baby.."

One of the doctors start to walk over. I look up and see the sad look on her face. "No. No. No! NO!"

"I'm sorry Kay. We did everything we could but she was just too small. If it's been even a few months later we might have been able to do something...I-I'm sorry." She turns and walks away while I sob and Mom and everyone looks stricken.

//End Flashback//

A few days later that they sent me home. Mom and dad insisted I go to their house and that i needed my family at a time like this. I didn't argue. I didn't and haven't done anything but cry. I never leave my room. I sleep and I cry that's all.

Miguel touches my face. "Kay...I can't know what you're going though. A mother losing her baby is something a man can never understand. But I lost my daughter too. You've been my best friend for as long as I can remember. Please speak to me. Or to your mother. Or your sister anyone! Please don't shut us out we love you!"

I chuckle bitterly in my mind. He 'loves' me. Sure. Right. No one loves me. I'm completely alone. My daughter would have loved me. But she's gone. Gone forever.

Miguel sighs and walks out of the room leaving me alone again.

I slowly stand up and walk over to my bed. I sit down and open the night table. I look at the razor blade sitting their. I pull it out and push the blade up looking at the sharp edge.

I close my eyes and lay back on the bed. I open them and lift my left wrist to eye level and look at the veins and arteries running though it. I press the razor to my wrist and barley even feel the pain of it cutting me. I press harder and watch the blood well up and start to run down my arm. For the first time in a week I smile. I pull the blade across my wrist all the way then cut again making a T and insuring that even if someone finds me it'll be next to imposable to save me.

I switch hands and do the same to the other wrist. I drop the blade and lay back with a contented smile on my face. Soon my pain will be over. Soon I'll be with my baby again. Soon... is my last thought as everything gets black and fades away.

The End