He had been feeling the pressure lately.  She wasn't saying a word about it, but he knew it was weighing on her.  It didn't help when Jubilee asked her to be the Maid Of Honor in her wedding to Bobby.  He knew she thought about it, but she would never make any demands on him.  He knew it was hard on her when Ororo and Kurt had announced their engagement.  But once again, she was unselfish.  Six years, she had stood by him, never complaining.  She had been his rock during the first year after losing Jean.  Six years and not one complaint…  Even Jean hadn't accomplished that.

It wasn't like marriage hadn't crossed his mind.  Hell, he'd even discussed it with Logan one night while they were at the bar having a 'Boy's Night Out'.  He still wasn't sure he'd forgiven Logan for pressuring him into trying a cigar... Every time he thought about it, he'd rub his chest remembering the feeling of burning and choking from inhaling.

However, Logan (of all people!) had made a valid point.  If you didn't know after five years if you wanted to be with someone, you'll never know.  As he succinctly put it, "it's time to piss or get off the pot, Bub."  Easier said than done, that one.

The following year had been a revelation where Marie was concerned.  She had blossomed into an amazing woman.  She'd graduated from college, traveled with her friends Jubilee and Kat around Europe for two months (Lord he'd missed her then), learned to fly the Blackbird (almost as well as he did… he was secretly very pleased with that one!)  and had grown into her personality and her womanhood with a grace that left most of the mansion in awe.  He felt fortunate that she had allowed him to be a part of it, these changes…  They truly were best friends and lovers.  He was closer to her than he'd ever been to anyone, including Jean, in his entire life. 

So what was the problem here?

The silence of the room was getting to him.  He'd been pacing their suite of rooms for three hours now, waiting for Marie to get back.  She was taking some of the Junior X-Men out on a routine mission (another mutant needed to be picked up) and she was showing them the ropes.  He missed her, but he'd never begrudge her the chance to flex her leadership wings.  It was important to her, and therefore important to him.

He finally gave up trying to distract himself and switched on the radio, if nothing else than to have some background music.  He smiled to himself as the melancholy sounds of the local country station filtered in.  His Marie had a passion for country music. 

As he listened to Brooks N' Dunn Boot Scoot Boogie their way through the night and Colin Raye go after that Little Red Rodeo, he thought about what was holding him back.

He could admit to himself that part of it was the age difference.  He was afraid that eventually she'd want someone her own age.  Not someone almost ten years her senior.  He was already in his thirties.  She was only in her early twenties.

He also finally admitted to himself that he was afraid of losing her in general.  He couldn't survive going through another loss like Jean.  He may come across as an uptight control-freak, but he was a man who loved deeply.  He was passionate with those he cared about.  They became a part of him.  And he was afraid to lose a part of himself again.

As he sat there, agonizing about what course his life would proceed to take, the lyrics to a song that was currently playing caught his attention:

            I'll admit I could feel it

            The first time we touched

            And the look in your eyes

            Said you felt as much

That was true.  From the first time he saw her, when he was blasting her seatbelt off of her and reached out his hand to her, he'd felt it.  That lurch in his heart, telling him this was someone special.  And when she had taken his hand, her eyes widened, telling him he felt it too.  But he had been with Jean… and it couldn't be right then.  So, she had done the best she could, and so had he.  They had become friends and she had become close to Jean.  She had done this for him.

            But I'm a not a man

            Who falls too easily

            It's best that you know

            Where you stand with me

Taking a hard look at himself and their relationship, he knew that she had questions and doubts.  He was controlled and he didn't always display his thoughts and feelings.  People had complained to him in the past, including Jean, that often times they couldn't tell what was going on in his mind.  The people in his life didn't always know where they stood with him, what part they played in his life… and that was going to have to change.

            I will give you my heart

            Faithful and true

            And all the love it can hold

            That's all I can do

            'Cause I've thought about

            How long I'll love you

            And it's only fair you know

            Forever's as far as I'll go

It hit him like a ton of bricks then… he could feel the pressure in his chest and he knew that he had to let her know.  He had to let her know that when he made his choice so many years ago, he had actually meant that the choice was for forever.  He wanted her to be his for always.  The age excuses didn't hold water, the fear didn't matter.  He wanted her!  It was all about risks.  And he was ready to take the ultimate chance.

He proceeded to pace, antsy now that he knew what needed to be done.  He was beginning to think she was never going to get back from the mission and now that he had this epiphany, he wanted to shout it from the rooftops!

He finally heard her footsteps outside their door and raced over to open it for her.  She looked tired, but happy to be home.  It was always rough on her, seeing the abuse these poor orphans and runaways endured until they rescued them.  She noticed that he seemed a little on edge.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I've been doing some thinking, and you should probably sit down."

She sat, her heart sinking.  She blinked back the tears, knowing what she had feared all these years was finally going to happen.  He was going to leave her.

"We've been together for a long time, Marie.  And I think we're too comfortable with each other.  I never surprise you anymore."

She wasn't going to cry.  She was not going to cry!

"So I'm going to tell you something now.  And you may not like it, but I have to do it for both of our sakes!"

She braced herself, turning her head to the side, squeezing her eyes shut.  She didn't want to hear this… and then she stilled.  What?  What the hell was that!?!

Was Scott *singing*?!