After The Fall - Chapter 11

There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen

He was negotiating No Man's Land. Loving Buffy was like an endurance test. And oh how he had endured. For he knew nothing different, he was born to hope, to strive for something higher than himself. His whole life had been an attempt to leap and grasp at the stars. For even when he returned with an empty fist, the experience had introduced him to new heights of passion, new depths of sorrow and new ways of suffering.

This, again, was new. This was some place he had never known, a new high-tide mark for the flood waters that were cleansing his being. This was quicksilver, this change, this emergence from evolving shadows. There was a new feeling of solidity in his being, a sense of density that foreboded an ultimate destiny. He may be dead but he was not forgotten by Fate. Fingers remained fisted for fear of displacing the possibility of stardust.

But he didn't know what he was supposed to do now. Years of trying to capture her blood, years of trying to capture her heart. And here she was. In the suspended moment suddenly she was just a girl he was again just a boy. He was startled and rendered speechless by the attaining of this gleaming prize hundreds of years after Drusilla had promised it. This was all he ever needed. To have his existence affirmed and exalted by the return of love. He had to die to experience this, to know this bliss. To...

(Effulgent)

And so, what now?

"Oh, you remember those pesky geeks I told you about?" Buffy asked as she pulled on her boots. Diffused blue light from the blind highlighting a halo of fine hairs she hadn't yet smoothed down.

"Yeah you mentioned them. Why, they giving you grief?"

"Oh please, nothing I can't handle. Just some errant invisible-ray thing so far."

"Invisible?"

"Yeah, they made me invisi-girl. That was a fun day."

Spike laughed. "They chose to fight the slayer by making her invisible?"

"I think it was an accident." Buffy's expression hung in freeze-frame for a moment before she gave in to the ridiculousness. "They're not really giving me anything to worry about but you know the drill - power corrupts. They're not up to your standard but I'm gonna go do the ear-to-the-ground gig. See if there be any mischief a-brewing."

"My standard?" He was intrigued now. A shiver of pride slithering its way into consciousness.

Buffy smirked as she stood. "Yeah, back in the day, you had me up against it a couple of times. Gave me something to work against." She moved her arms as if to animate the push and tug between them.

She was delicious like this. Spirited and sassy as hell. "You liked that, huh?" He was advancing on her now, Big Bad on the prowl. Every footstep measured, paced, his eyes never leaving hers. He revelled in the quickening of her heartbeat as he neared her and used the atmosphere of the air between them to impel her back against the wall.

Buffy nodded, eyes dilated with pleasure. "Don't you remember Halloween? I was lost and helpless and you found me." Her voice dropped to a whisper and her fingers snaked into his hair. "You nearly had me."

"Nearly." He gasped over her. Eyes watched her mouth as it neared his. His hands gliding down her sides, grasping at her skirt. "But then you changed." He felt the corners of his mouth twitch, for that had been the thrill. The moment The Slayer had reenergised her body and she switched from powerless to all-powerful. He had felt that, the quickening, the sharpening of instincts, the flutter of strength awakening through her body. The return of Buffy. He'd take a kill however it came but it was the Fight that he craved. The Chase. The Dance.

Almost as if reading his mind Buffy backed away from his mouth and smiled. "I have to go."

Spike growled in frustration, his hands grasping at her sides before he released her. She smirked as she cupped his cheek. "Meet me in The Bronze tonight?"

"The Bronze?"

"I'm going to be there with my friends, most likely wearing something slinky. I may get lost in there. Perhaps you could come and find me."

He took her hand from his face and kissed her palm before giving it back to her. "I'll see you there." He understood because suddenly he could see a little of what came next. There was a whole different set of moves but The Dance was still on.

The Bronze on a Saturday night. Most of Sunnydale's teenagers concentrated in one place. This was rich pickings back in the day. Easy pickings. He'd either chat them up at the bar or get them when they were stumbling out of the place drunk and stupid.

Must be his first time since... since the old worm turned. He feels strange, alien. There's a cacophony of heartbeats, pulsing, pulsating, pushing all that blood around and it's no longer temptation. A wave of nausea passes over him and something's rushing back at him, pushing against his consciousness but he resists. He only allows the memories to haunt his dreams. He only prays for them when he's alone.

He senses eyes upon him and his gaze darts to catch a glimpse of her before she disappears into the crowd. Sees a congregation of her friends, knows that she is on the move. The Chase is on. It's slow and there's a sense of inevitability about it but sometimes the destination is not as important as how you get there. First rule of a good chase: let them get a bit of a head start. He goes to the bar and orders Bourbon on the rocks. Has to sweeten his breath after his kind of dinner.

He turns around to take in the atmosphere that is thick with sweat and adrenaline. The dance floor is packed. A great human monster writhing to heavy the drum and bass of the rock track. He spots that Anya girl stood off to the side. She was spurned by an undeserving gimp and now he senses the shadow of Vengeance about her. She is here to work. He sighs. Imagined that a thousand years of existence would have taught her not to be so impetuous. But then he knew too well the crazy-makings of a broken heart.

The stairs are crowded with snogging pairs of hormonal whirlwinds but the seas part for him as they always do. At the top a lone young lady simpers at him, her lashes heavy with thick black mascara and the effects of too much beer. He nods at her, relieved that she wasn't going to be his victim. Tonight was her lucky night for reasons she would never know.

The music shifted down a gear, heavy still but with lilting beats and a haunting female vocal. He grinned as he spotted her. Feral eyes caught hers for a brief moment before she slipped away again around a corner and out of sight. He felt his mouth work around the urge to smile as he trained his senses on only her. He could smell her trail, see the imprint of her passage through the crowd and he followed step for step, stalking his prey.

(Here kitty, kitty)

Been a while, been too long. He may be housetrained now but there was an unfed part of him lying dormant. He sensed that this is what she needed to. Knew that there were ways he could fulfil her that a human couldn't. Revelled at the potential they had yet still to unleash.

She's slowing now, slinking in and out of shadows, turning with the curve of a pillar. Trying to lead him on a merry dance but he knows this tune. Knows her tune but he's maddening now, patience wavering as the craving impels him on, his skin singing out for her. Big cat was getting ready to pounce. He quickened, meandered through another group of teens and there was a clearing. Saw her come to a stop and lean against the railing and swooped out of her sight as she scanned the balcony for him.

He bided his time, using the cover of a dark corner even though he knew that she sensed him nearing.

(Do we really need weapons for this?)

And there he was, stepping in behind her. She said nothing, merely pushed back against him as they make contact, their bodies fitting together as they swayed once, twice. Her arm lifted to stroke his cheek as he nuzzled at her neck. He could feel the need in her, hands sought out the hot flesh under her top, fingers planed over her abdomen. She moaned as she rocked against him, her hand seizing at his side, his hip, his-

He gasped as she released him. Gathering at the sides of his duster she cloistered them from the eyes of oblivious others and leant forward to watch the action below. The rest was up to him and he needed no more invitation.

As he entered her he caught sight of her friends dancing under the spotlights below. Her friends that kept her rooted and tethered to the human, material world as she fought on the higher plane of darkness and dichotomy. He could see the need for that now. Knew that the cracks were where the light came through, knew that the flaws of humanity also made it stronger. She was of this world, but not part of it, a stream from the well of darkness that stretched for golden sands.