Chapter 1
A/N: Hey hey. Ok, here goes. This is my first fanfic, so please don't kill me for any mistakes and gimme a chance. I don't know how long it'll be, but I hope it'll be good. Of course, that's not for me to decide, is it? So go on, and read it! I think it's good, but you're entitled to you own opinion…
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. Everything else, including the plot, is mine.
The buildings were burning. Chaos reined as people ran, in no particular direction away from the town. No one knew what had happened, or why the hardware store had suddenly burst into flame. There had been no explosion, and there had been no strangers through the small town for many weeks. Only one person knew the truth, and she was dead, having been trapped inside the burning building. No one saw the shadow, blacker than the blackest night, detach itself from an out-of the way building and head towards the nearby forest.
If you had been close enough to see it, you would have seen a darkly handsome face beneath the pitch-black hood. If you had been close enough, you would have heard soft, cold, malicious laughter coming from beneath that hood. If you had been close enough, you would have seen him walk silently into the shadow of a tall oak tree, where his form seemed blacker than the tree's own. And then you would have seen. . .nothing. Just shadows dancing on the wind. And still, the flames of the town roared ever higher, flickering across the hazy, starry sky.
End Dream Sequence
Lily Evans sat straight up in her bed, sweating and shaking terribly. The sound of people screaming and a cold laugh filled her mind. She tried to forget it and go back to sleep, but it took her about 15 minutes to figure out it was useless. Not wanting to listen to the other girls sleep in the dark dorm room, she grabbed her bath- robe and slipped silently down the stairs to the common room.
The fire had died down almost completely, but the embers still gave off a small red glow. The eerie light cast looming shadows around the room, but the silence was comforting. Since no one was there, Lily sat in the armchair closest to the fireplace. Leaning forward slightly, with her elbows on her knees, she sat and thought, not making a sound.
That laugh was still in her mind, so she decided that thinking about the dream wasn't going to help. To get her mind off of it, she started thinking about her life.
At home, things were not so good. Her parents were fighting more and more often now, and her sister was becoming ever more distant, especially since she had started dating Vernon Dursley. Things had been changing, and not for the better. She always went home for the holidays, but each time, she looked forward to going back to school. And this was saying something.
At school, no one knew her. She was the top of every class, except for Transfiguration, where somehow James Potter, leader of the Marauders, managed to stay a step ahead of her. Her favorite place at Hogwarts was not the Library, contrary to popular belief, but the huge rock on the shore of the Lake, on the far side. The library came second. She was Head Girl, in seventh year, and stayed away from the common room and her dorm. She didn't like people and people didn't like her. The feeling was mutual.
Lily had fiery copper hair that fell in soft curls around her shoulders. Her eyes were a bright emerald green, which sparkled when she read a good book, were dull when she was sad, and misty when she was thinking. She was about 5'7", with long slender legs, and a perfectly shaped body. If anyone bothered to actually look at her, they would see a very beautiful young woman. Of course, there was always the downside: No one cared to look.
"Ouch!" someone said in a loud whisper, "That was my FOOT, Peter!" Someone replied, in a much softer whisper, "Sorry James. My bad." Another two people were snickering in the background. Great. Just whom I need. It was so peaceful, too, Lily thought. It was none other than the famous, extremely popular James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. The ever-so-humble Marauders.
"So, it's purple hair with green polka-dots, Muggle dresses, and high pitched voices. When they walk into the Great Hall, they'll run up to Professor Kay and say, 'we love you, Professor! Marry me!' Oh, this is going to be good." That had to be Sirius. "Right. Now, shut up, so we don't get caught," shushed Remus. They were facing the fireplace, and the back of the chair that Lily was sitting in was facing them, so they couldn't see her. She didn't move.
When they passed the armchair Lily was sitting in, James froze. He was the one closest to her, and he hadn't known that there was someone in here. Obviously. Motioning for the others to stop and look, they fell silent. Lily noticed, since the Marauders were never quiet.
Glancing up at them, she said, "Don't let me ruin your fun. And, I'm not taking points away, since James would give them right back." James had somehow been chosen to be Head Boy. "Go on. I'm going back up to the dorm," she said quietly. Standing, she looked once more into the fire, and a frown creased her face. Her eyes took on a frightened look for a split second, before it vanished. Then she sighed, turned, and walked back up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.
The guys hadn't moved. When they got over the shock of seeing Evans, they proceeded out of the common room to the kitchens, where they commenced with their prank.Lily went up to her room, but she didn't go back to sleep, not for a while yet. She couldn't. She was too scared. Well, I'm going to be sleeping through classes tomorrow, but oh well. And to make matters worse, she knew that no one cared. Thinking about how in- sync the Marauders, minus Peter, who was always a klutz, were with each other made her heart sink down to about her toes. She had no one. Not a single person in all of Hogwarts talked to her. Her parents were to busy fighting to pay much attention to her. Petunia was never around anymore.
She had no one, and it hurt so much.
There was no use fighting the tears. It was a constant battle, one that she could never seem to win. A single tear slipped down her cheek, unbidden, followed by another, and another, until it was all she could do to hold back the loud sobs that ached to be let loose. Burying her face in her pillow and pulling the blankets up over her head, Lily Evans cried herself to sleep.
Groggily, Lily untangled her long legs from her bed sheets and got up. Looking out the window, she saw little in the dim light of false dawn. Glancing at her clock, she saw it was 6:00. Cool. Early enough for me to go out to my rock and think. Grabbing her robes, she took a 10- minute shower, and did her usual morning routine. Shower, make the bed, pack the bag, and, most importantly, leave. Before anyone else got up. By 6:30, Lily was pulling on her cloak, which was very special to her, and slipping downstairs, out the common room, and proceeding to walk to her rock.
As she walked Lily fingered the hem of her cloak. It was very pretty and mysterious, like her. The cloth was soft and, when moved, changed from green, to purple, to teal, and back to the original navy blue. It was embroidered with silver stars and moons, and the hood was deep, covering her entire head and her face. The real reason she loved it was not that it made her look like an angel, but that it was a gift from her grandmother, who had passed on 6 years ago. When she had given it to Lily on her 11th birthday, a note had been attached to it. Your grandfather gave this to me when we were married. He said 'It makes me think of how lucky I am to have you, my Lillian. It's special, if only because I love you.' My dearest granddaughter, I know life gets hard, but don't ever think it's not worth living. I love you. Don't ever forget that. Three days later, Lily was notified that her grandmamma had passed, peacefully, in her sleep.
By now, Lily had reached her rock, and was presently climbing up. Lying down on her stomach, she stared into the clear, still depths of the lake. Fingering the hem of her hood, she realized that the note her grandmamma had left her was the only reason she was still here today. She had considered, seriously, committing suicide so many times. Life gets hard, but don't ever think that it's not worth living. . . That sentence was Lily's lifeline. And she needed it now, more than ever. Her loneliness seemed more pronounced, and the dream was not helping.
Somehow, it seemed that her dream was more than just a dream. It felt so real. Whenever she woke up, it was hard to discern dream from reality. The screams of the burning woman and the cold laughter echoed in her mind. Why do I feel like that's not all? What if I haven't dreamed the whole dream? It's so confusing! Dreams are supposed to mean something, but I dunno. . . Div. is usually a load of bull anyway, she thought.
Shrugging off the feeling that there was more to this than she saw, she looked at her watch. It read 7:15. Excellent timing. She could walk up to the castle taking as much time as she wanted. Didn't matter anyways, since no one gave a damn about her. Sliding down to the ground, Lily walked back to the castle slowly, dreading another day of walking in the shadows, being completely ignored again. The bad thing was, she dreaded the coming of night even more. It seemed like she could never win.
But it had to be worth something. She had to have some purpose in life, if God had put her there. The question was, did God exist? Lily couldn't answer that question. All she knew was that if she killed herself, she wouldn't be honoring her grandmamma's memory. And that was the last thing she wanted to do.
This seemed to have gotten the attention of the floor- bound seventeen-year old. "7:15??!! Holy hell, we're going to miss breakfast! NOOOO!!!" Sirius shouted. "GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM, MOONY!!!" he yelled, banging on the door. "All right, all right. God forbid you miss breakfast, Padfoot. The world would come to an end," Remus muttered, but never- the- less vacating the bathroom.
Mean while, James had gotten dressed and was waiting on the rest of his friends. Sitting on the window seat, he was staring absently out the window at the lake. Something moving caught his eye. From his angle, it looked like the top of a cloaked figure. In the dawn light, the cloak seemed to shimmer. That's weird. I wonder who it could be? he thought. But before he could ponder more on this strange, almost unearthly person, Sirius started yelling again. "PRONGS, HURRY UP!! BREAKFAST, BREAKFAST, BREAKFAST!!!!!!" Sirius yelled in a sing- song voice. "I'm coming Sirius. Just shut up, ok? It's too early for your yelling." James replied with a sigh. They left the Gryffindor Tower together, and headed down to the Great Hall, where Sirius's life- calling awaited him. Lily walked into the Entrance hall just as the Marauders reached it. Pulling off her cloak and folding it neatly, she observed them, something she often did to people. Sirius, shoulder length dark brown hair pulled back, dark eyes excited, was practically running towards the Great Hall. Remus and Peter walked in a companiable silence, which she felt a pang of jealousy for before suppressing it, side by side. Remus' intelligent bright blue eyes were sleepy, and his sandy blonde hair still damp from a shower. Peter's baby blue eyes were hardly open, he looked so tired, and his light brown hair was still mussed from sleep. Must have stayed up late last night with their prank, she thought amusedly. Speaking of which, that should be entertaining. . . Her gaze traveled to the last of the group. James was walking slowly, a little behind Peter and Remus, and looked thoughtful. His jet-black locks were as untidy as ever, and he didn't seem too tired. The grey eyes behind those round glasses, the same ones that had stolen the hearts of 99.9% of Hogwart's female population, were turned downward in thought. Damn, thought Lily, he looks good when he's thinking! HOLD UP!!! Where'd that come from?? Whatever. . .
James felt as if he was being watched. Glancing up, he scanned the Entrance Hall. Sirius was long in the Great Hall stuffing himself; Remus and Peter were silent, about to pass through the wooden doors, not looking at him. Ah. Found it. Or should I say, her. It was Lily. She was standing perfectly still, looking at him. She was holding a dark bundle, and her bag was slung over her shoulder. When he met her gaze, she didn't flinch, or blush, or start giggling. She just stared straight back, her eyes misty and questioning. Flashing her a brief smile, he continued toward the Great Hall after his friends. Wonder what she had in her hands? Wait! She looked like she had just stepped inside…could it have been her? The thing she was holding was probably the cloak. Well, at least I won't have to wonder all day. Those were his thoughts as he sat down next to Sirius, who was currently consuming everything he could reach. "Slow down Sirius, and turn your attention, subtly, to the doors," James said to him.
As James started eating, just as much as Sirius, but not nearly as fast, he noticed Snape and Malfoy hadn't joined the Slytherins' yet. Good. We didn't miss it, he thought. At that moment, the doors opened and Lily walked in. A trace of a smile played on the corners of her lips. She headed toward the end of the table, where no one was sitting. Wait a minute. Doesn't she sit with anyone? He continued to watch her, waiting for someone to walk over and sit down next to her, but he waited in vain. The small smile that had graced her features upon entering the hall was gone. Her emerald eyes had gone dull, and she was frowning, staring at her plate, but not eating anything. Weird. . . he thought, but then he was distracted, because the infamous duo had just entered.
Snape's greasy hair was purple with green polka- dots, and Malfoy's normally platinum blonde hair was now puke- green with fuchsia streaks. Both were wearing muggle dresses with lots of lace and 3- inch heals. When they walked in, their eyes fell on Professor Kay, the potions teacher and Head of Slytherin House. The two started racing, in 3- inch heals, towards her, both yelling, "I love you! I love you! Marry me, please!!!" Professor Kay went white, and then flushed a dark red, both from anger and embarrassment. Acting fast, Professor MacGonagall lifted the spells, and both boys stopped in their tracks, and bolted to the Slytherin table. The whole Hall, with the exception of a few, was ringing with laughter. "20 points from Slytherin!" Professor Kay shouted, and then glared at the Marauders. Everyone knew they'd done it, but there was no proof. Lucius and Severus were thoroughly embarrassed, which meant only one thing: mission accomplished.
As the laughter died down, everyone headed off to classes. Coincidentally, the Marauders and Lily had Transfiguration together first period. Yay for her. It didn't matter to them. Well, it didn't matter to ¾ of them. James wanted to know why she hadn't sat with anyone. Finally prying himself away from his latest girlfriend, who was some gorgeous blonde bimbo by the name of Kimberly Andrews, he caught up with her in the hallway heading to class. Touching her on the arm, he asked quietly, "Lily, why didn't you sit with anyone at breakfast this morning?" Startled that someone was speaking to her, it took her a second to process the question. However, she didn't answer it. Not directly, at least.
"You've got your question wrong, Potter. It's not 'why didn't you sit with anyone' it's 'why doesn't anyone ever sit with you'." Lily said quietly and calmly. Looking him straight in the eye, she told him, "No one ever sits with me, James. It's taken you seven years to notice that? And even so, why do you care? No one ever has before." If he couldn't see her eyes, he would have thought it didn't bother her. But he could see her eyes, and they betrayed the pain she felt right then. He felt sympathy for her. He knew how it felt to be lonely. He felt it a lot… "I don't want your pity, James. I really don't need it," she said quietly. Then, she took one last look at him, and walked into the classroom, leaving him to think. About her.
He knew he couldn't do anything. And even if he could, he wouldn't. Pity and sympathy are really annoying when you feel like the world hates you, because the people offering you those emotions just don't understand. It's degrading and very irksome. All you want is time. So he would give it to her. What he didn't know was that she'd had time. Seven years of it. And now, all she wanted was someone who'd listen, and understand. If only he knew. . .
Ok, there you have it! The first chapter of 'Dreaming'. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!! Please?? A years worth of chocolate if you do. Thanx. Now, click the little blue button at the bottom that says 'Go'!!!