Angel Dust
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Yugioh. I also don't own Mamoru; he's from Sailor Moon. I only own Akito.
Warnings: This fic deals with the use of PCP (or phencyclidine), a drug sold on the streets under names such as angel dust, ozone, wack, and rocket fuel. For more info, email me at [email protected] and I will send you a link with information about drugs and their affects.
*** Normal POV***
*Flashback/intro*
Ryou Bakura walked through the crowd, dodging the drunken dancers that filled Otogi's mansion. He moved through the room and reached a dark, secluded corner. When he had settled into a beanbag chair, Mamoru, from his English class, walked over and handed him a glass of punch.
Moments later, Mamoru pulled a bottle out of his jacket pocket. He undid the child safety cap, and popped one of the small, white tablets into his mouth. "Hey, Ryou, try this," he said, and handed the bottle to Ryou.
"What is it?" Ryou asked innocently, though his words were slightly slurred.
"It's something you'll like," Mamoru answered, and Ryou took one of the tiny tablets out of the bottle, unknowingly giving himself his first experience with "angel dust".
*End Flashback/Intro*
The following Monday, Ryou walked into class and sat in his seat near the back. He looked towards the middle of the room, and noticed Mamoru sitting at his desk. He swiftly scribbled something on a half-sheet of paper, then folded it and slid it into an empty pill bottle. He twisted the cap on the bottle and tossed it into the air. The container soared to the direct center of the classroom and Mamoru caught it. He read the note and stuffed it into his coat pocket, looking toward Ryou and nodding.
That day at lunch, Ryou went from the classroom to Mamoru's locker. Mamoru closed his locker, took one look at Ryou's agitated state, and immediately said, "Come on. I'll introduce you to Akito. He can hook you up." He started walking down the hallway, and Ryou followed.
Ryou trailed Mamoru through a door, and saw a shadowy figure in the corner of the men's room. The figure stepped out of the shadows, and glares at Mamoru. "I thought I told you not to bring strange little boys in here," the figure snarled menacingly.
"Yeah, but he's not strange. His name is Ryou, and he needs angel dust." Mamoru replied coolly. "Ryou, this is Akito. He can supply you with whatever you need to numb your mind." Mamoru looked at Akito callously. "I'll leave you two to work something out."
"So, you're into ozone. Well, that can be costly. How much cash do you have?" Akito asked in a sinister tone of voice.
"I can get whatever you want," Ryou said quietly, in his innocent voice, remembering the ATM and credit cards his father had left him on the first time he left for a dig so that he would have money. Cards he never used, so he knew he had the cash.
"Pills or powder?" Akito questioned frigidly.
Whichever, or both, it doesn't really matter," Ryou said, looking straight into Akito's dark, forest-green eyes, "just get me what I need."
"Alright, meet me at the arcade after school, and bring money," Akito muttered, slipping back into the shadows. "I suggest you leave now, if you want to eat."
"Okay," Ryou said, as he quietly exited the restroom.
As soon as school ended, Ryou rushed to the arcade stopping at an ATM on the way and withdrawing 200 dollars. He entered the arcade, and looked around for Akito. Remembering his last encounter with the dealer, Ryou headed towards the restroom in the back of the building. He went into the restroom, and looks directly into the cold eyes of Akito. "What have you got?" Ryou asked softly.
Akito pulled a bottle, filled a fourth of the way with colorful tablets, out of one pocket and a smaller bottle, filled halfway with a white powder, from the other. "How much money do you have?" Akito asks enigmatically.
"Around two hundred, sound fair?" Ryou responded with a question of his own, while pulling the money from his pocket.
"Yeah, here." Akito hands Ryou the angel dust, and takes his money. "That should last you awhile, but when you run out, I'll be here." Akito slides towards the shadows. "See ya." [If this were a movie, I'd cue dark music and evil laughter.]
The snowy haired angel we call Ryou left the arcade, and walked home, his deadly purchase known as angel dust in his pocket. As he entered his home, he blocked off his link to his yami, making it impossible for Bakura to know what he was doing. He opened the bottle of pills and took a small lilac colored tablet. Shortly later, as the effects kicked in, his breathing rate increased, Ryou reveled in his new state of numbness.
As the weeks went on, Ryou continued to use angel dust, repeatedly closing off his link to his yami in order to enjoy the numbness caused by the drug. When his body built a tolerance to PCP, Ryou only increased the amount. The innocent angel began to lie to his friends, so that he could continue using the drug. As the angel dust ate away the pain of life, it also ate away his innocence, and life slowly decapitated everything Ryou had ever known to be real, twisting his world into impossible shapes.
* (yami) Bakura's POV *
Something's wrong with my aibou. Well, not necessarily wrong, but something's different. The change happened weeks ago, when he first blocked our link. I still haven't figured it out. I knew something was up when he started blocking the link almost daily, but what? What secret is my tenshi keeping from me?
He's seemed normal, whenever I exit the ring. A few times he looked sick, and our link had been closed off completely in those times. A few other times, he was slightly jumpy, and kind of snappy. Then, there was that time when he yelled something along the lines of, "Save me from the pink elephants!" Maybe he's going insane, but if he is, I don't think it's the good kind of insane; I mean, Malik never yells about pink elephants.
I still love him though.
Speaking of loving him... How can I tell my light I love him, if he's closing my connection to him? For all I know, he could have a boyfriend, and that's why the link is closed. Or (and I shudder to think) he could have a girlfriend. Not that I think he has a girlfriend. I mean sure, he's cute, but his sweaters just scream, "I like men".
Why isn't he being open with me? I know in the past I wasn't exactly perfect. Okay, I'll admit, I was horrible. I cant blame him if he doesn't fully trust me, what with taking over his body against his will to steal the millennium items and all that. But we had moved past that a long time ago, at least I think we did. So, why is he keeping me out, when we agreed to be more open?
What could be so bad that he can't tell me? I'm the dark half, so I can take it. I was made to handle pain and trouble. I was sealed away to protect him, according to Yami and all his friends, so why do I get the feeling that it's too late? I feel like I've already failed him again.
It didn't help when I woke up this morning to an empty house, and no connection. I understand that he has school, but he never used to close our bond while he was away. What could he be doing that he doesn't want me to know? What could be going on in his mind? Is he forgetting me?
I may not understand what's going on, but I love my hikari. So, I'm going to sit here, in his living room, and wait for him to return. Because I love him, and I wish I could tell him, before this secret of his devours him completely. Ryou, what's been going on with you lately?
It's five o'clock now, and my hikari still isn't home. It used to be that right now, we'd be sitting in the kitchen. He would be eating, and I would be watching him eat. Also, making sure he did eat, seeing as he's always been so skinny. That has always been a concern of mine, ever since I realized I could see his ribs. Each individual bone showed, and I made him promise to try and gain some weight, and also to eat more.
Not that I have to watch him eat. No, my hikari always keeps his promises. At least, he did. I wouldn't know anymore. He's blocked me so much, that last night, while I held his sleeping body, I wondered if he even was truly innocent anymore. I immediately wiped the thought from my mind, but as I sit here at the table, alone, it creeps back into my skull.
I wish it wouldn't. I'd prefer not to think of what he could be doing. But then again, I need to know. Does he realize that? Has he even thought about me? Is he even coming home this time, or is he laying dead in an ally somewhere? I wish I wasn't so pessimistic, so dark; wish I had his innocence. If I did, these thoughts of his precious body, broken and mangled, wouldn't haunt me. Most of all, though, I wish I had him here in my arms, telling me how school went.
That's another thing that changed. Instead of telling me about school, he's started calling Yugi to ask about assignments. (Then writing everything on a pad of paper, so he knew what to do.) It's like he doesn't even remember what he does in school anymore. He also started to bring home papers that had horrible grades, failing several classes.
Yet, he acts has if he doesn't care that his life is falling apart around him, in turn slowly destroying my life as well.
Ryou's POV
Where am I? Kami-sama, I wish Bakura was here. He'd know where home is. I almost open our link, but then I stop myself. If I open the link, he'll feel how numb my mind is, and want to know why. I can't let him know what I've been doing.
No matter what, he can't find out. He always used to call me weak, and he believed it too. He thought I was pathetic. What would he think if he knew I've become dependent on a drug? I've become weak enough to let my life be controlled by pills and powder. I've let myself become numb.
The thing is, I don't really care. I don't care that I can't remember how I got to wherever I am. I don't care that I have to call Yugi to get the homework. I don't care that I can't remember if I've eaten today.
Okay, that's a lie. I do care that I can't remember if I've eaten. I promised my yami I would, but it's not that bad. I'll probably eat when I get home anyway. My yami will sit across from me at the table, and watch me eat, as intently as always... Making sure I eat every bite.
He's always done that, ever since he realized that I'm malnourished. Just like he's always tried to protect me from others. I doubt he thought he would have to protect me from myself.
So now, because I took a chance at a party that changed my life, I'm lost in the middle of Kami-knows-where, and I'm wandering around, hoping I'll find something that looks familiar. Anything, to help me find my way home. Where I'm safe from the giant pink elephant that won't leave my alone.
I'm starting to think it's a good thing the angel dust numbs my mind. Otherwise, I'd be in a state of pure panic by now. I wish I were at home a lot more often. Home is where my yami is. Bakura... Does he realize how safe he makes me feel, now that he's not so evil anymore?
It's almost like I love him. I think I do, but I have so much angel dust in my system that I can't be sure. I wish I could... If only my mind weren't so hazed. But I do know this: I feel safe in his arms, safe enough to sleep, without worrying that he'll push me to the floor.
Is that what love is? Knowing that no matter what, you'll be safe, as long as he's there to hold you? Just feeling that he'll never let you go, and will protect you from anything as long as you let him? I think the dust is wearing off, I'm starting to make since. And the thing is, I just realized; I love Bakura. I love my yami. But how can I tell him I love him? He'd never love me if he knew about the angel dust.
***End of Chapter One***
::strange person pops up out of nowhere:: Hello all! I happen to be the beta reader for this wonderful, angst-and-romance-esque fic!! ::bows:: I am the talented Ryoubakurafan013!! ::snigger:: Well, okay, not TOO talented... Some of you may know me from my Ryou/Bakura angst fics, which aren't as good as this one, but in case you don't know me... ::nervous laughter:: Now you do! ANYWAY! This is NOT my fic, but my friend's-CRBKE. She is a little older than me, and extremely gifted in the ways of writing. Unfortunately, she can't be online right now, so I get to post this for her under her penname!! ::feels special:: Could I possibly ask you to leave a few nice reviews for her?? I know she'd appreciate them!! And we'll be back to this soon... unlike me, where I write 20-page chapters that take me a month to write... ::giggle:: So what are you waiting for? Review this and tell Kira how well she wrote this first chapter, please! ::wave wave::
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Yugioh. I also don't own Mamoru; he's from Sailor Moon. I only own Akito.
Warnings: This fic deals with the use of PCP (or phencyclidine), a drug sold on the streets under names such as angel dust, ozone, wack, and rocket fuel. For more info, email me at [email protected] and I will send you a link with information about drugs and their affects.
*** Normal POV***
*Flashback/intro*
Ryou Bakura walked through the crowd, dodging the drunken dancers that filled Otogi's mansion. He moved through the room and reached a dark, secluded corner. When he had settled into a beanbag chair, Mamoru, from his English class, walked over and handed him a glass of punch.
Moments later, Mamoru pulled a bottle out of his jacket pocket. He undid the child safety cap, and popped one of the small, white tablets into his mouth. "Hey, Ryou, try this," he said, and handed the bottle to Ryou.
"What is it?" Ryou asked innocently, though his words were slightly slurred.
"It's something you'll like," Mamoru answered, and Ryou took one of the tiny tablets out of the bottle, unknowingly giving himself his first experience with "angel dust".
*End Flashback/Intro*
The following Monday, Ryou walked into class and sat in his seat near the back. He looked towards the middle of the room, and noticed Mamoru sitting at his desk. He swiftly scribbled something on a half-sheet of paper, then folded it and slid it into an empty pill bottle. He twisted the cap on the bottle and tossed it into the air. The container soared to the direct center of the classroom and Mamoru caught it. He read the note and stuffed it into his coat pocket, looking toward Ryou and nodding.
That day at lunch, Ryou went from the classroom to Mamoru's locker. Mamoru closed his locker, took one look at Ryou's agitated state, and immediately said, "Come on. I'll introduce you to Akito. He can hook you up." He started walking down the hallway, and Ryou followed.
Ryou trailed Mamoru through a door, and saw a shadowy figure in the corner of the men's room. The figure stepped out of the shadows, and glares at Mamoru. "I thought I told you not to bring strange little boys in here," the figure snarled menacingly.
"Yeah, but he's not strange. His name is Ryou, and he needs angel dust." Mamoru replied coolly. "Ryou, this is Akito. He can supply you with whatever you need to numb your mind." Mamoru looked at Akito callously. "I'll leave you two to work something out."
"So, you're into ozone. Well, that can be costly. How much cash do you have?" Akito asked in a sinister tone of voice.
"I can get whatever you want," Ryou said quietly, in his innocent voice, remembering the ATM and credit cards his father had left him on the first time he left for a dig so that he would have money. Cards he never used, so he knew he had the cash.
"Pills or powder?" Akito questioned frigidly.
Whichever, or both, it doesn't really matter," Ryou said, looking straight into Akito's dark, forest-green eyes, "just get me what I need."
"Alright, meet me at the arcade after school, and bring money," Akito muttered, slipping back into the shadows. "I suggest you leave now, if you want to eat."
"Okay," Ryou said, as he quietly exited the restroom.
As soon as school ended, Ryou rushed to the arcade stopping at an ATM on the way and withdrawing 200 dollars. He entered the arcade, and looked around for Akito. Remembering his last encounter with the dealer, Ryou headed towards the restroom in the back of the building. He went into the restroom, and looks directly into the cold eyes of Akito. "What have you got?" Ryou asked softly.
Akito pulled a bottle, filled a fourth of the way with colorful tablets, out of one pocket and a smaller bottle, filled halfway with a white powder, from the other. "How much money do you have?" Akito asks enigmatically.
"Around two hundred, sound fair?" Ryou responded with a question of his own, while pulling the money from his pocket.
"Yeah, here." Akito hands Ryou the angel dust, and takes his money. "That should last you awhile, but when you run out, I'll be here." Akito slides towards the shadows. "See ya." [If this were a movie, I'd cue dark music and evil laughter.]
The snowy haired angel we call Ryou left the arcade, and walked home, his deadly purchase known as angel dust in his pocket. As he entered his home, he blocked off his link to his yami, making it impossible for Bakura to know what he was doing. He opened the bottle of pills and took a small lilac colored tablet. Shortly later, as the effects kicked in, his breathing rate increased, Ryou reveled in his new state of numbness.
As the weeks went on, Ryou continued to use angel dust, repeatedly closing off his link to his yami in order to enjoy the numbness caused by the drug. When his body built a tolerance to PCP, Ryou only increased the amount. The innocent angel began to lie to his friends, so that he could continue using the drug. As the angel dust ate away the pain of life, it also ate away his innocence, and life slowly decapitated everything Ryou had ever known to be real, twisting his world into impossible shapes.
* (yami) Bakura's POV *
Something's wrong with my aibou. Well, not necessarily wrong, but something's different. The change happened weeks ago, when he first blocked our link. I still haven't figured it out. I knew something was up when he started blocking the link almost daily, but what? What secret is my tenshi keeping from me?
He's seemed normal, whenever I exit the ring. A few times he looked sick, and our link had been closed off completely in those times. A few other times, he was slightly jumpy, and kind of snappy. Then, there was that time when he yelled something along the lines of, "Save me from the pink elephants!" Maybe he's going insane, but if he is, I don't think it's the good kind of insane; I mean, Malik never yells about pink elephants.
I still love him though.
Speaking of loving him... How can I tell my light I love him, if he's closing my connection to him? For all I know, he could have a boyfriend, and that's why the link is closed. Or (and I shudder to think) he could have a girlfriend. Not that I think he has a girlfriend. I mean sure, he's cute, but his sweaters just scream, "I like men".
Why isn't he being open with me? I know in the past I wasn't exactly perfect. Okay, I'll admit, I was horrible. I cant blame him if he doesn't fully trust me, what with taking over his body against his will to steal the millennium items and all that. But we had moved past that a long time ago, at least I think we did. So, why is he keeping me out, when we agreed to be more open?
What could be so bad that he can't tell me? I'm the dark half, so I can take it. I was made to handle pain and trouble. I was sealed away to protect him, according to Yami and all his friends, so why do I get the feeling that it's too late? I feel like I've already failed him again.
It didn't help when I woke up this morning to an empty house, and no connection. I understand that he has school, but he never used to close our bond while he was away. What could he be doing that he doesn't want me to know? What could be going on in his mind? Is he forgetting me?
I may not understand what's going on, but I love my hikari. So, I'm going to sit here, in his living room, and wait for him to return. Because I love him, and I wish I could tell him, before this secret of his devours him completely. Ryou, what's been going on with you lately?
It's five o'clock now, and my hikari still isn't home. It used to be that right now, we'd be sitting in the kitchen. He would be eating, and I would be watching him eat. Also, making sure he did eat, seeing as he's always been so skinny. That has always been a concern of mine, ever since I realized I could see his ribs. Each individual bone showed, and I made him promise to try and gain some weight, and also to eat more.
Not that I have to watch him eat. No, my hikari always keeps his promises. At least, he did. I wouldn't know anymore. He's blocked me so much, that last night, while I held his sleeping body, I wondered if he even was truly innocent anymore. I immediately wiped the thought from my mind, but as I sit here at the table, alone, it creeps back into my skull.
I wish it wouldn't. I'd prefer not to think of what he could be doing. But then again, I need to know. Does he realize that? Has he even thought about me? Is he even coming home this time, or is he laying dead in an ally somewhere? I wish I wasn't so pessimistic, so dark; wish I had his innocence. If I did, these thoughts of his precious body, broken and mangled, wouldn't haunt me. Most of all, though, I wish I had him here in my arms, telling me how school went.
That's another thing that changed. Instead of telling me about school, he's started calling Yugi to ask about assignments. (Then writing everything on a pad of paper, so he knew what to do.) It's like he doesn't even remember what he does in school anymore. He also started to bring home papers that had horrible grades, failing several classes.
Yet, he acts has if he doesn't care that his life is falling apart around him, in turn slowly destroying my life as well.
Ryou's POV
Where am I? Kami-sama, I wish Bakura was here. He'd know where home is. I almost open our link, but then I stop myself. If I open the link, he'll feel how numb my mind is, and want to know why. I can't let him know what I've been doing.
No matter what, he can't find out. He always used to call me weak, and he believed it too. He thought I was pathetic. What would he think if he knew I've become dependent on a drug? I've become weak enough to let my life be controlled by pills and powder. I've let myself become numb.
The thing is, I don't really care. I don't care that I can't remember how I got to wherever I am. I don't care that I have to call Yugi to get the homework. I don't care that I can't remember if I've eaten today.
Okay, that's a lie. I do care that I can't remember if I've eaten. I promised my yami I would, but it's not that bad. I'll probably eat when I get home anyway. My yami will sit across from me at the table, and watch me eat, as intently as always... Making sure I eat every bite.
He's always done that, ever since he realized that I'm malnourished. Just like he's always tried to protect me from others. I doubt he thought he would have to protect me from myself.
So now, because I took a chance at a party that changed my life, I'm lost in the middle of Kami-knows-where, and I'm wandering around, hoping I'll find something that looks familiar. Anything, to help me find my way home. Where I'm safe from the giant pink elephant that won't leave my alone.
I'm starting to think it's a good thing the angel dust numbs my mind. Otherwise, I'd be in a state of pure panic by now. I wish I were at home a lot more often. Home is where my yami is. Bakura... Does he realize how safe he makes me feel, now that he's not so evil anymore?
It's almost like I love him. I think I do, but I have so much angel dust in my system that I can't be sure. I wish I could... If only my mind weren't so hazed. But I do know this: I feel safe in his arms, safe enough to sleep, without worrying that he'll push me to the floor.
Is that what love is? Knowing that no matter what, you'll be safe, as long as he's there to hold you? Just feeling that he'll never let you go, and will protect you from anything as long as you let him? I think the dust is wearing off, I'm starting to make since. And the thing is, I just realized; I love Bakura. I love my yami. But how can I tell him I love him? He'd never love me if he knew about the angel dust.
***End of Chapter One***
::strange person pops up out of nowhere:: Hello all! I happen to be the beta reader for this wonderful, angst-and-romance-esque fic!! ::bows:: I am the talented Ryoubakurafan013!! ::snigger:: Well, okay, not TOO talented... Some of you may know me from my Ryou/Bakura angst fics, which aren't as good as this one, but in case you don't know me... ::nervous laughter:: Now you do! ANYWAY! This is NOT my fic, but my friend's-CRBKE. She is a little older than me, and extremely gifted in the ways of writing. Unfortunately, she can't be online right now, so I get to post this for her under her penname!! ::feels special:: Could I possibly ask you to leave a few nice reviews for her?? I know she'd appreciate them!! And we'll be back to this soon... unlike me, where I write 20-page chapters that take me a month to write... ::giggle:: So what are you waiting for? Review this and tell Kira how well she wrote this first chapter, please! ::wave wave::