The Question of Inevitability

Author: Knowhere

Chapter 1: Lunchables

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: Nothing

AN: Here's to the beginning of another journey.  I do hope that you will enjoy this, I've worked pretty hard on the first few chapters that I've written and I like the result so far.  Anyways, thanks for reading, you know I always appreciate it.

Summary: Rory left in search of an answer to the question that she didn't know how to ask.  Now five years later she comes back to the city where she abruptly ended her life with Jess.  Does he have the ability to forgive her? Literati/Au/Future Fic

(Flashback)

"Rory, why are you doing this?"  His eyes pleaded for an explanation; he was on the verge of tears, even though he knew that inside, he was already desperately heart broken.  "Stay…we can work it out…do something; don't throw this away."  He was begging and he hated it; he had never begged for anything in his life.  He was used to being independent, but there in the darkening silence, he didn't know what else to do.  He swallowed hard and waited for her answer.

            "I'm sorry, Jess.  I just can't…"  She was a hundred miles past being on just the verge of tears.  They streamed down her face and collected at her feet.  She knew that she was making a mistake…to leave, but she just didn't know how explain.  They were too deeply embedded in each other—she had gone too far past resolution.

            "Why?"  His simple question stung her deeply.  She honestly didn't know and she couldn't tell him; but she knew that she was killing him with her departure. 

            "I'm sorry Jess."  She just kept on repeating it, like a mantra.  She grabbed her coat and shrugged her arms into it and closed the door softly behind her.

            His blood-shot eyes just watched her go.  He didn't move…he couldn't move.  He couldn't believe that she had left, just like that.  After all they'd been through, after all the obstacles that they had overcome to be together all those years…she just threw it all away.  He went over and touched the door as if to absorb the last memory that he knew he would have of her.  He sunk to the floor, finally crying in earnest of the heart ache that began to consume his entire being.  He buried his face into his arms and banged his head against the door…

(End of Flashback)

            Jess closed the door to his bedroom while buttoning his shirt.  He hung his tie around his neck, waiting for the last possible second to finally tie it on.  He hated them—they always felt like they were trying to kill him, to suffocate him.  He felt that enough just on his own, he didn't need an article of clothing to help him feel it.  He walked over to his kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee that had been already made for him at the same time everyday.  He spun around and opened his fridge to check what else he had to eat.  Seeing nothing, Jess reached up to the pantry and pulled out a power bar.  He opened it with a face of disgust.  He hated those things—he never believed in their faux promise of energy, but he still ate it.

            A jingle of metal tags and a patter of nails upon wood floors jerked Jess's head up to see his dog jogging up to him.  The dark brown retriever wagged his tail happily at his owner and went over to sit at Jess's feet.  "Hey buddy…whatcha doing up this early?  If I were you, I'd sleep in as long as I could."  Jess laughed and shook his head at himself—he couldn't believe that he was actually talking to his dog.

            He left the canine in the kitchen and went to the closet to grab his coat and briefcase.  At first, Jess never liked carrying around the briefcase…it just wasn't cool…for a lack of a better word.  In the beginning he opted for just carrying his paper work around in his arms, and then in a backpack, but when it didn't look 'business' enough, he finally succumbed to the briefcase.  Picking up the keys from the counter by the door he leaned down to give the dog one last pat.  "Be good Oliver.  No barking."  With one last glance at his dog, he left the apartment.

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            Rory tugged on her black skirt and straightened her light blue blouse.  She tucked her hair behind her ears once again and looked at her reflection in the mirror to check if she looked presentable.  She was extremely nervous and it didn't help that she had extra coffee this morning.  It put her even more on the edge.  She took a deep breath and walked past the large sign that said 'New York Times' and pushed on the door and she walked right up to the receptionist. 

            "Hi, may I help you?"

            "I have an interview with a Mr. Calhoun." 

            "Hold on a second."  The young woman tapped a couple of keys on her computer and spoke quietly into her headset.  With a quick nod and an 'okay' she turned back to Rory and informed her, "He's on the eighth floor.  Take the elevator and the secretary will direct you.  Have a nice day."  She smiled generically and turned back to her work.

            With a quick nod and a mumbled 'thank you' Rory headed on over to the elevator and waited for the eighth floor.  She was informed that Mr. Calhoun was in a brief meeting and that he'll be with her shortly.  Rory thumbed the magazine but couldn't concentrate on the words that seemed to swim in front of her eyes.  She vaguely heard a masculine voice thanking someone and then she looked up to see a man's back walking away.  Her name was called and she followed the middle-aged man into his office.

            "Please Miss Gilmore, have a seat."  Mr. Calhoun smiled warmly at her and held out his hand in invitation to the chair that sat in front of his large oak desk. 

            "Thank you."  She took the seat and began to gather up her thoughts.  She really wanted this job.

            "So, Miss Gilmore…what brings you to New York?"  He put on his glasses to closely examine her résumé that she brought with her, along with countless recommendations and references. 

            "Actually I used to live in the city; I'm coming back because I heard that there was an open position here at the Times.  This job opening seemed fitted my journalistic abilities perfectly and that I wanted to come back to New York."  She smiled warmly at the man and hoped that she sounded confident, but not too much so to push him away.

            "Well, you're references are outstanding and you have the experience that we're looking for.  We'll do a trial run to see if you'll adjust the way that this company would like and then we'll take it from here, okay?"

            "Yes, thank you very much for this opportunity, Sir."

            "You're welcome.  Nancy over there in the front will have you sign all the appropriate papers and she'll have you set up in an office."

            Rory shook his hand and thanked him once again and proceeded to the front to complete the offer.  She was ecstatic to be able to work there…she had always wanted to report for the Times, and now she was going to get her opportunity. 

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            Jess stared at his blank computer screen, trying to draw out some sort of inspiration.  Coming up empty handed he let the screen saver come up and he leaned back on his chair—just staring at nothing in particular.  A buzz on his phone pulled him back to earth and he reached over to take the call.  "Yea?"

            "Mr. Calhoun is here to see you."

            "Yeah, let him in."  Jess sat up straight in his chair and tightened his tie to make sure that he looked presentable. 

            A quick knock was heard and Mr. Calhoun walked into Jess's office.  "Just to let you know, Mariano, I've already filled that position that you had open.  Try not to scare this one away too, will ya?"  He smiled jokingly at the younger man and sat down at one of the leather chairs that faced Jess's desk. 

            "Well maybe if you'd hire some good ones, I wouldn't have to get mad at their total incompetence."  Jess smiled back at him.  Rob Calhoun was a good-natured man; he had hired Jess on a whim, based solely on nothing but first impressions.  To Rob's surprise, Jess superceded his expectations and turned out to be one of his most valued employees.  Rob enjoyed Jess's company like a younger brother that he could tease and yet turn to for some honest advice; and conversely, Jess appreciated Rob's knack to draw out his creative abilities.  They both respected each other professionally and as well as equals.  "So, did this new one have at least a degree in journalism?"

            "Actually I think this might be the one.  She graduated from some ivy-league but I don't remember which one.  She has some good experience that I think will do this department some good.  Anyways, I've got to get going.  I'm taking the rest of the day off to spend with the wife and kids.  My youngest one is playing in a soccer game today and she's really excited.  See ya Jess."  He left with a smile and softly closed the door behind him.

            Jess turned back to this lap top but still didn't make a move to start anything.  He reached out into his drawer and pulled out a brown paper bag.  He felt a little childish to bring lunch to work, but he didn't really like to leave his office just in case inspiration struck him.  He pulled out a Lunchable and shook his head at himself.  They were on sale the other day and he just bought them because he knew that he wouldn't have the time to make himself a sandwich in the mornings.  He pulled out the crackers and placed a piece of cheese and turkey on it and lifted it up to his mouth.  Suddenly he stopped and placed it back on his desk, only to stare remorsefully at them.

(Flashback)

            "Really, who buys this kinda thing?  Why don't people just pack their kids' lunches the proper way?"

            "Jess, you're spoiling the whole fun of it.  It's cool to put all this stuff together for kids at school."  Rory dumped several containers of Lunchables into their shopping cart and began to wheel towards the dairy aisle.

            "Well, if it's for kids then why are we buying them?"  His voice held a teasing tone in it and he went over to stop the cart.  She looked at him with a smile and he leaned down to kiss her gently on the mouth.

            "Umm…come on, not here…the sooner we finish shopping, the sooner we can get home."  She raised her eyebrows suggestively and he grinned back broadly and took over, hurrying the process along by grabbing the first carton of milk he saw.  She laughed at his actions and jogged over to keep up with him…

(End of Flashback)

            Jess still stared at the open lunch and he took a deep breath and popped the cracker, cheese, and meat into his mouth.  He closed his eyes as he slowly chewed as if he were to break some sort of tradition and he leaned back on his chair with his hands locked behind his head and just sat there in the silence of his office—deeply saturated with thought.

AN: Let me know what you think.  I always love to read what others feel about my writing, especially since this is the beginning to something new.