Disclaimer: Tolkien's original characters and all related materials in The Lord of the Rings, do indeed belong to him, his associates, and etc. All other craziness, appearances of persons who may or may not actually exist, and all that do unfortunately fall under my jurisdiction. You may file claims with the Legal Department on the left on your way out.

Trapped As A Mary Sue II

Chapter Seven

"So what you're telling me is that we're stuck in the plot until we finish all three of the books?" April asked, her words somewhat muffled by the shirt she was pulling over her head.

Under the pretense that April needed to blend in as quickly as possible, Katie had opted to dig out the new, spare outfit generously given to her by some of the elves in Lothlorien. The three hunters had wisely decided to make themselves scarce while the switch was being made, enabling the two girls to make absolutely certain they wouldn't be overheard.

"Well, I know that I'm gonna be here for as long as the fanfic continues," Katie said, folding the red t-shirt April tossed at her. She rolled it up tightly and stashed it in the bottom of her pack. "But if she decides to off your character—"

"Viresse," April filled in with an eyeroll that was so pronounced it needed its own sound effect. "This author is a piece of work." She accepted the linen trousers and sash Katie handed to her next.

A dry laugh escaped from Katie before she could stop herself; it was slightly maniacal and a little bit creepy. "I'll spare you the obvious 'you have no idea' because I really don't want you to suffer through getting an idea."

"That bad, huh?" April surrendered her blue jeans. "Well, the red crocs don't exactly mesh with the environment, but they're what I've got that fits, so…" She shrugged and adjusted the silver shirt over her hips before belting her ensemble with the provided sash.

"Ooh, one more thing." Katie tucked the folded jeans away and pulled out her coat. In stark contrast to Meriweather's attire, the garment was light and plain in its decoration. The seamstress who had presented it to Katie had assured her that the tight, silken weave was completely waterproof. It was a pale, unremarkable green much like the Fellowship's cloaks.

"Wow, that's shiny," April said, touching the fabric. "You got it in Lothlorien, too?"

"Yes, but I've never worn it. The clothes I've got on are already broken in and filthy—and I get filthy a lot. I didn't want to risk ruining these," Katie said ruefully. "But, you know, you're playing an elf-maiden in this little charade, and I bet looking the part will go a long way to the guys taking you seriously."

"Taking me seriously?" April stood on one foot and pointed to the other. "I'm wearing holey, rubber shoes whose only redeeming qualities are that they were a gift from you, they're my favorite color, and they fit." Then she paused for a moment as if to reconsider the statement. "What do you mean...'taking me seriously'?"

"Ah, um, well, you know...we're a couple of young ladies in a predominantly male society. I don't know about you, but my main skills in life involve reading, research, and the occasional craft project," Katie replied with raised eyebrows. "I've got nothing to contribute here."

"Pft, well that's a bunch of bunk," April retorted, donning the jacket and clasping it. She pulled her chestnut hair up into a ponytail and rolled her shoulders. "Figures you'd just lie down like an underdog and take it. Well, I'm here, and I'm gonna live the dream! Where's Legolas, and where's he keeping his extra bow?"

Katie's raised eyebrows were making a break for her hairline, and all but attempted to vanish as she stared at her best friend, slack-jawed.

April appeared not to notice. "Hey! Boys!" She directed pointed looks out between the clustered trunks of trees she had used for privacy. "Boys!"

It took a few moments, but eventually the three menfolk appeared in a manner that could only be described as 'cautiously'. They found April pacing about almost agitatedly, while Katie was pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes as if she could make whatever she was seeing go away.

"Oh, this is going to be bad...so bad…" Katie muttered under her breath.

April pretended not to notice. "Okay," she said briskly to the nearest person, who happened to be Aragorn. "This is how it's gonna be. Katie tells me that she's not contributing anything to this little quest. Well, I'm here to make up for that. I've got good archery skills, and I will try to kill anybody who challenges me, or her. Legolas, I know you have the bow from the Galadhrim, so where's the one you brought from Mirkwood?"

Legolas stared at April askance, as if he didn't know what to make of her. Then he composed himself and answered, "There is little use in carrying more than one bow, when the skill of the Galadhrim bowyers is much superior. My bow I left in Lothlórien."

"Of course," April said with a sigh. "Okay, I tried. Aragorn?"

The Ranger didn't even ask if she knew what she was doing; he unslung his bow from across his back, along with his full quiver. April took both with a curt nod of thanks. She put the quiver on and made a face. "I prefer it on the belt, but I can't be picky right now." The bow April drew and tested, her arms shaking from the strain. "Heavier pull, but then, a recurve does some of the work for you. I'll work up to it." She put the bow on her back. "I know we have some hobbits to find, right? Where are you with tracking?"

"We are far from where I last located track or print of the Uruks," Aragorn said. "For we entered Fangorn Forest not of our own will, but by the will of the evil that controls us."

Legolas appeared to repress a sudden shiver. "Now I truly know the dark, controlling power you spoke of with such fierce hatred," he said softly to Katie. "I ask that you do not cease in your struggles against her."

"I think we all agree on that," April said. She shot a look at Katie, who was now peering out at the four of them between her fingers, as her hands were still over her face. "You and me, Kates, we're going to have a long talk about strategy."

At that, Katie straightened up, a sharp retort on her tongue, but she bit it back at the last second. She was not going to argue in front of the Fellowship. Or at least, this part of the Fellowship. One thing she was sure of: she had to be on her game. April, while her knowledge of the books was quite thorough, had a different approach entirely than Brian—she was protective, and she liked to pick fights. And if she thought she was invincible...well, there was no end of risks April might take.

"Well, short of wrapping my head in bubble-wrap, there's not much we can do to make sure Meriweather doesn't take control again," Katie said. "And she's already proved that if she's angry enough, she can simply force a confrontation between the two of us, and she's likely going to be better prepared than I am."

"Yeah, well, that's where strategy is going to come in handy," April said. "But we'll talk about it later." Her attention went back to Aragorn. "Tracking hobbits. How far did you get before Meriweather...derailed you?"

"We were approaching the eaves of the forest," Gimli spoke up. "We had just seen the old man, concealed by hat and cloak, appear like a wraith near our fire, likely a night ago now."

"I recall distantly the ashes of another fire," Aragorn said after a moment of introspection. "And the marks of a battle, but I was not able to read the signs. Instead, I made all haste to recover Meriweather. Perhaps we might find signs of the battle better in daylight." He offered the bridle of one of the look-alike horses to April.

She stared at him, then at the horse. "Well, second time for everything, I guess," April said. "Come on Katie, let's do this."

Katie recollected her pack and her cloak, making sure she had left nothing behind. The pack she secured inside one of the provided saddlebags (that at least she could thank Meriweather's author for...but very, very grudgingly) and then mounted first. With only minimal hopping and extraneous struggle, she managed to pull April up and behind her.

"So why am I driving?" Katie whispered over her shoulder.

"I figured you'd been doing this longer," April replied. "Plus, it keeps my hands free to practice drawing this bow."

"Well," Katie said in a slightly louder mutter, "I hate to tell you this, but Brian did most of the riding. One trail ride in Disneyworld does not count as experience."

"What about that horse camp you said you went to?" April asked. "Stop selling yourself short and take charge, woman. This horse is not going to steer itself."

Katie took a deep breath to calm herself, then a few more as Aragorn mounted the second horse and swung Gimli up to ride behind. Legolas, as light and quick of foot as he was, would apparently be following on the ground. "I just hope whatever mechanics brought the author's wishes to life also know how to cinch the girth strap on a saddle. That is one trail ride I don't want to revisit." She set her heels into the horse tentatively as Aragorn spurred his own steed into a slow walk, minding the twisting roots and mossy rocks that seemed to litter every possible path on the forest floor.

Thankfully, the horse followed without much urging, and Legolas brought up the rear of the entire procession silently. They were not too far from the edge of the forest, and the air seemed to lighten considerably. It was almost easier to breathe, although Katie hadn't noticed the oppressive feel of the deep forest before.

{You must have had other things on you mind,} her voice said helpfully.

{Oh, you're back?} Katie rejoined sarcastically. {Just what am I going to do about April? She's practically gone fangirl wild!}

{Protecting you by taking a stand is a fangirl activity? I must have missed that memo.}

Katie rolled her eyes. {You know what I mean. This is one of her dreams, and she's decided to live it up.}

Her voice sobered. {Well, I hate to say it, but...maybe it's time for a different approach. What's wrong with that?}

Katie blinked and counted to ten to buy herself a moment of patience. {What if she gets herself in real trouble? She's had no experience killing orcs or anything. I've never seen her shoot a bow before, but the bow she has shot all her competitive archery career is not a medieval-style longbow. What if she's not any good with one?}

{So all I'm hearing you say is you're not willing to try and let your friend prove that she could make a positive difference in this story,} her voice replied. {We don't actually know how badly she could affect the plot.}

{Duh, yeah, but that's part of the problem, isn't it?} Katie snapped back. {I've had to play it all calm and non-interfer-y for a reason! We don't want canon to skew.}

{I hate to break it to you, but I think that theory went out the window when we found out that Meriweather's author could command you to face her in the in-between area. She's going to do her best to get her Sue-age back to it's regularly-scheduled horribleness as often as she can. And that's a kind of skewing nobody wants.}

Katie hunched her shoulders and sulked a bit as she thought it over. {So what, the new operating theory should be to do whatever we can to keep her from getting the story back?}

{I think April might just be the solution you need to that particular difficulty.}

Katie's attention was brought back to Middle-Earth by the breathy twang of a bowstring behind her. She ducked out of reflex—Moria was not long enough behind her. April appeared oblivious to the minor heart attack she had just given her best friend.

Katie tried to settle her jangling nerves by focusing on their surroundings. Even though they rode near the edge of the deep, cool woods, it felt deceptive. The heavy shade beneath the thick leaf-cover should have felt refreshing, but she couldn't help but be uneasy that something was poised nearby, ready to leap out and shout 'boo!'. The leaves on the trees were too still—as a child she'd always imagined that trees whispered to one another as breezes carried words from one canopy to another.

This was just eerie, and the distant sound of a rushing river did nothing to dispel the tenseness Katie felt. She gave up on whatever type of scouting she'd been trying to do and turned to conversation instead.

"Um...so…" Katie wasn't sure how quite to start the question. "When did you know you were the raccoon?"

"Huh?" April paused, letting the tension off of Aragorn's bow deliberately. "Oh, I had no idea I was a raccoon. I thought I was having some kinda weird dream from reading too many Redwall books."

Katie turned in the saddle to eye April in disbelief. "There are no raccoons in Redwall."

"Yeah, I know. Should've been my first clue," April said ruefully. "I remember seeing you...I took all this time trying to find paper in one of the packs and write you a message with mud. Stupid paws wouldn't work."

"Could have been Meriweather's author controlling you," Katie said, still trying to console herself after leaving Saura'onna on the riverbank.

April went back to drawing her newly-appropriated bow between answers. "Maybe. All I know is suddenly pow! I'm sitting next to an Uruk-hai feeling like I had a night out doing karaoke with my sister. And I saw you, just...passed out."

"So you knew then?" Katie asked quietly. "I'm sorry."

"I don't need an apology—I thought I was tripping," April confessed. "I mean, Sarah doesn't always pick the most reputable late-night hangouts."

"Uh huh," was all Katie managed to say as the source of the rushing river noise came into view around the trunk of an enormous oak tree. She grabbed the reins suddenly and tried to rein her horse in before she ran smack into Aragorn's mount.

The Ranger didn't appear to notice; he swung down from the saddle in one easy, practiced movement and crouched near some indentations on the edge of the...the Entwash, Katie recalled. He took the reins of his horse and led it a bit further, with Gimli still astride and hanging on for not-quite-dear-life.

"Hobbit-prints, but faint," Aragorn remarked for the benefit of those not trained in rangerly ways. "They went further into the forest."

"Then we must go in, too," said Gimli. "But I do not like the look of this."

Katie bit down on a 'join the club' comment, but then on the other hand, Gandalf, so...she kept her mouth shut.

"We should go on foot; the horses will have a harder time with the roots," Aragorn commented. Gimli needed no urging; he all but slid sideways off the first horse and only by grabbing a nearby branch did he avoid fully falling on his beard.

April and Katie snickered and the Dwarf cast a surly look in their direction which turned into a guffaw when Legolas (who had somehow ninja'd his way to the head of the procession) murmured something in elvish to the girls' horse. It whinnied suddenly, and Katie dropped the reins in order to grab hold of the saddlehorn for stability as the horse pawed and stomped in place.

April wasn't so quick; she made a grab for Katie in a desperate attempt to stay mounted and only succeeded in yanking on a handful of her friend's shirttail before toppling backwards and landing on a perfectly soft hummock of moss. That would have been fine, hadn't she shrieked in the process.

With his lightning reflexes, Legolas reached for the horse's bridle as it reared at the noise and made to bolt. He nearly had it, but what he didn't anticipate was the soft soil at the edge of the river giving way under the horse's stamping hooves. His fingers fell just short and the horse bolted deeper into Fangorn.

Katie was too scared even to scream; she ducked as branches whipped across her face. Leaves stung her cheeks and her eyes watered at the brief pain. Thinking quickly, she ducked low to the horse's neck and tried to hold on with her knees.

{Keep your head down!} she told herself, trying to swallow around the dry lump in her throat.

{Problems?} The voice might as well have just wandered back into the room and asked if she wanted a refill on soda.

{Oh, no biggie,} Katie snapped sarcastically, squeezing her eyes shut as more twigs and branches tore at her tangled hair, {I'm just enjoying a breakneck ride through a partially-haunted forest!}

{Good, good.} Her voice was clearly preoccupied.

"Aack!" Katie caught a glancing blow on her left shoulder as she failed to completely avoid the sagging limbs of what might have been a beech tree—it was distinctly hard to tell at the speed she was going.

Oblivious, her voice asked, {Have you found Gandalf yet?}

{Do I look like I have time to answer questions?!} Katie's grip on the saddlehorn was getting slippery from the sweat of her hands, and she questioned the wisdom of trying to hold onto the horse's neck. Maybe she could get hold of the reins if she could lean forward far enough...

{Oh,} her voice said suddenly, as if it were completely and utterly distracted from the moment. {Oh, that's genius.}

{Not right now, a little busy!} Katie just prayed the horse wouldn't stumble and break a leg. They needed the horses, the horse didn't need to die, and she didn't need to incur the pleasure of a visit with Meriweather so soon after escaping the Uruk-hai.

{But will it work?} her voice went on, oblivious. {Why wouldn't it work? It's using her own weapons against her. This. Is. Brilliant.}

{Yeah, go celebrate your brilliance somewhere else!} Katie snapped in reply, stretching forward and making a grab for the left rein.

{You'll thank me,} the voice assured her with a mental pat. {Years in the making, but oh, so satisfying.} And then Katie was alone with her overactive imagination, dwelling on all the possible ways there were to knock herself unconscious as the horse continued to careen blindly through the ever-thickening woods.

Her fingertips grazed the edge of the leather strap as it moved towards her thanks to the horse's momentum. Another inch—got it!

"Woah!" she said loudly, hoping for the horse's attention and not anyone (or anything) else's. One rein in hand would have to be enough. "I said woah, Tweedledee!" Katie said in the most commanding tone she could manage.

Maybe the horse was surprised, or just plain tired (or it was reevaluating some of the less-inviting underbrush in its path; Katie didn't care about the precise reason) but it began to slow down, sides heaving. The horse's breathing was about loud enough to drown out the pounding of her own heart as Katie still clung onto the beast uncertainly.

"Are we good?" she demanded to it, and the horse lowered its head, still trying to catch its breath. Katie decided there was never going to be a better time to disembark, which she managed by collapsing into an ungainly pile of grimy traveling clothes, matted hair, and sore joints.

After a moment, she raised her head and struggled to her feet, looking in the general direction she thought they had come from. Katie had no eye for tracking, but the broken branches and bent leaves were definitely a testament to her passing.

There was no way the Three Hunters could miss her trail, and that at least was a comfort. Fangorn remained eerily silent around her, broken distantly by the creaking and groaning of old, settling wood.

Should she be afraid? The thought hadn't quite had the time to occur to her. She was creeped out, certainly. It seemed to her that not many creatures strayed into the forest willingly. Did she have a weapon? Not unless she counted whatever club she could make out of a fallen branch. But would Katie even meet any enemies? She'd have more luck running into Gandalf, Merry, or Pippin at this rate.

{No,} she thought to herself. {Gandalf's probably already sent them on their way by now.} So did she have a chance of meeting up with him first? That would be kinda cool.

Then out of the corner of her eye, she spotted movement. The horse's ears pricked towards a disturbance on the other side of a small group of oak trees. It was an old man—at least, he was pretending to be an old man—cloaked in gray and hunched so that Katie couldn't easily see his face.

Katie laughed in relief as the old man stopped several paces away, his dark eyes glittering from beneath his hood. "Gandalf!" she said breathily, almost giddy. "I'm so glad it's you! The others, they'll never believe what you did—I can't wait to see their faces."

There was a careful pause, a pause in which the already-silent trees seemed to turn to stone. "So it is true," came a deep, throbbing voice that was at once full of wisdom, and full of mystery. "A woman did travel with the nine, and she knows dark secrets, even the secrets even of the Istari."

Light seemed to drained from the world and time screeched to a halt as Saruman straightened and cast off his cloak.

Far in the hidden folds of the mind's imagination, a misty passage formed. The voice stirred tendrils of fog at the edge with one finger. "If I can find you," she whispered to the nebulous portal, "then I may guide others, too."

The silver dew of fantasy settled as a gray cloak around the voice as it pressed on through the passage. "But they must know to find me first, or the misty passage will never be known."