Part Four, Chapter Fourteen
Percy came home early. While, not early, exactly; he had always been scheduled to return on the thirty-first of August but in his last letter to Oliver he had accidentally given the date as the first of September. He was greeted by a silent house.
The marble floor of the front corridor was covered with a light layer of sand. On the wall was a new photograph: Ron and Ginny at the beach, with sunglasses, cautiously smiling at the camera. Both of them had more freckles than white skin.
It figured, Percy thought, that he would come home to an empty house. Oliver had to be training with the branch – it was only three o'clock in the afternoon – and Ginny and Ron were doubtless outside, relishing their last few moments of the summer holiday. What sort of food was in the house? Perhaps Percy would take a nap until someone came home. Or maybe a bath would be first, seeing as travel always made him feel grimy, regardless of the method of transportation.
"Who's there?"
Percy froze, one hand still resting on the handle of the door. Was there someone he knew in the house, or had it been taken over? He had no idea if he should speak or not.
"I'm giving you five seconds."
Scottish! The voice was Scottish, and deep, and – "Oliver, it's me."
Nothing happened. "Percy?"
"Yeah. I'm home, I got the date on the letter wrong, the letter that I sent you."
He saw Oliver's shadow before he saw the man himself. Oliver looked disheveled, even more of a mess than he had looked at school on the days where he returned to the dormitory before taking a shower after Quidditch practice. A greenish stain started at the top of his sleeve and continued almost to the cuff. He hadn't shaved. "Where's everyone else?"
Oliver contemplated Percy for a moment. "They've gone back to England," he said slowly. "Wiltshire. Evermore. We thought you were coming home tomorrow, and seeing as they leave for school tomorrow I went with them to get all their things four days ago and then sent them off with Remus."
"Was he pleased about it?"
"I think he was." Oliver licked his lips and then stopped still. "Damn it, Perce, get over here."
Once Percy reached Oliver's arms the smile on his face was crushed into a kiss. "I missed you desperately," Oliver murmured, trailing small kisses up and down Percy's neck. "And the bed – I can't believe I got so used to sleeping in a bed with another person that it seemed empty all the time."
"I can," said Percy, his hands feeling the thick line of Oliver's shoulder blades. "I know exactly what you mean."
"Every once in a while Ron would be in another room and he'd say something or another, and for a second I'd think it was you."
"Your mum gets the same sort of look on her face as you do when she's thinking hard about something."
Oliver pulled back slightly to look into Percy's eyes. "Things are a disaster in this house, I've been awful about cleaning since Ron and Ginny went back to England."
"That's all right." Had Oliver always had those faint lines across his forehead? "I've got an entire suitcase full of dirty clothes."
"Leave it here and come to bed," said Oliver softly.
"I ought to have a bath first," Percy replied, though he found himself aroused.
"The sheets need to be washed anyway."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure, I've been wanking like mad without you and Scourgify doesn't work as well if you haven't the energy to properly concentrate." Oliver stroked down the front of Percy's robe with one finger and stopped when he reached the waist. "This looks as though it needs some attention…"
Percy's mouth silently fell open; he let Oliver lead him upstairs.
There were discarded clothes strewn across the floor of their bedroom, and after a few brief minutes of kissing and teasing Percy's robes joined the collection, with Oliver's following soon after. "God, Percy, you got so skinny."
"I didn't mean to," he protested, gently rubbing one of Oliver's nipples. "We were always so busy and there wasn't always time to eat."
"How long are you staying here for?"
"A week and a half."
"Goddamn it, I can't feed you up enough in a week and a half."
The mood was not broken but it was strained. "I'll eat as much as I can."
"How long will you be gone, next time?"
"At least three months," said Percy; the words seemed like a death sentence.
"Three bloody months?"
"Ol, don't be angry."
Oliver opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. "No, I won't be," he said. "There's nothing I can do about it, and the longer you're gone means the more you're working which means the closer we are to the end of the war."
"If everything goes well in China it might only be two and a half months."
"How are you going to do anything in China? Neither you or my mum speak Chinese."
"They speak English." Percy reached one hand around Oliver's backside and squeezed. "Can we – "
"Yeah." Oliver swallowed, shut his eyes for a moment and opened them once more. "Yeah, we can."
They made love twice; it would have been three times but by that point the sheets were unbearable and so they started them washing themselves and began to run a bath. Unlike the black-and-chrome bathroom at Allerby Lane the bathroom of Topaz Sun was enormous, with blue, white, and yellow tiles and a great blue tub. The old towels, however, hung on their new hooks and had a familiar look that gave Percy an odd sense of comfort.
"There's so much to do in this house," Oliver said, dipping a few toes in the water. "Today and tomorrow are a holiday from training because enough people have kids to send back to school."
"Don't you think the Death Eaters might think of that and decide it's the perfect time to attack?" Percy asked.
"Of course I do. See the little box up near the ceiling? Alert device. I've got one on a chain that I have to take with me whenever I leave the house. Anyway, I thought I could leave all the cleaning and stuff until today, seeing as I'd have time today, but that didn't work out. I took one look at it and spent the day sleeping on the couch with the cat – you haven't met the cat!"
He ran out of the bathroom in his dressing gown and returned a few moments later with a tiny kitten pressed to his chest.
"Spawn of Sapphira Whosit?" Percy asked, smiling.
"That's right. She was the surprise I was talking about in my letters, I hope you like her."
The kitten looked over at Percy and mewed. "It's okay, that's Perce, he lives here too. Want to hold her?" Oliver asked Percy.
He hesitated. "I don't know anything about cats."
"You just take her when I give her to you and make sure she doesn't get her claws stuck on your dressing gown. They're like little hooked needles." Oliver walked over to him and held out the kitten. "Take her quick before she gets irritated."
Percy curled his hands around the kitten's stomach; Oliver let go. The kitten had fur that was soft like goose feathers and tiny ribs that seemed to barely contain her heartbeat. She sniffed at Percy for a few seconds.
"I like her," he said.
"I didn't name her so that you could do it."
"Are you sure you want to give that responsibility to someone who once named a pet rat 'Scabbers'?"
"That was when you were a kid. You named Hermes, that's a good name."
The kitten yawned, revealing perfectly tiny yet perfectly sharp teeth and breath that smelled of tuna.
"You don't have to do it now, of course," Oliver said. "You can think about it and all."
Percy looked up at him. "Emerald."
"What?"
"Emerald, that's what I want to name her."
Oliver gave him a puzzled look. "She's got blue eyes and brown fur, where are you getting 'Emerald' from?"
"We lost The Emerald Cloak. We have her now. Why, don't you like it?"
"I love it," said Oliver, and he took the kitten back from Percy, set her in the corridor, and shut the door behind her. "Let's have the bath."
The tub was larger than the one at Allerby Lane and held both of them comfortably. Reaching for the soap that sat on the ledge, Oliver slid behind Percy and began to wash his back. "Forget knotted tree roots, your back feels like a bag of rocks."
"That's probably because of Spain. It was hot and I couldn't sleep and I missed you, and then I'd think about how I really needed to go back to sleep, but I couldn't, and I'd get tense."
"This isn't just tense, it's petrified." Percy felt water splashing across his back, washing away the soap.
As they had once before they washed each other, but this time they were sitting and it turned into a tangle of limbs. "Ol, you're sitting on my foot."
"Sorry about that." Oliver leaned back against the edge of the tub and ran his fingers through Percy's hair; Percy reclined to rest his head on Oliver's chest. There was no sound except for their own soft breathing.
"I hate to go on about this," said Oliver, "but whenever I think of all the crap in this house that needs to get cleaned my head starts to spin."
"We'll fix it tomorrow," Percy replied.
"Tomorrow my friend Jean-Marc is coming over for dinner."
"In the morning and afternoon, then. We'll fix it tomorrow."
"You're right," Oliver agreed. "We'll fix it."
Percy shut his eyes. There would always be things that needed to be fixed tomorrow, but for now he would be content and listen to the steady beating of Oliver's heart.
The End
Author's Commentary – Written October 2004
I hope I won't be thought narcissistic for writing an author's commentary. I have always enjoyed reading those of other writers.
My Original Intentions
I "converted" to Percy/Oliver a few months before OotP came out, and though I was dying to write a fic for them, I decided to wait until after OotP because I didn't want to write something that would become AU in a matter of weeks. I was fairly sure that Percy was going to disagree with his family over the matter of Voldemort's return, however, so I had some time in advance to think about how that would affect his relationship with Oliver.
Immediately after OotP I wrote a Sirius/Remus fic right away; I needed to process and mourn and all that. That fic is called "Facing", and although it does not exist in the same fic universe as In A Time Of Uncertainty it does involve Harry living with Remus after Sirius's death.
My original plot structure went something like this: Percy and Oliver have a relationship in school, somehow it doesn't work out, they get back together post-OotP, Percy tries to reconcile with his family, a fair bit of angst is involved, Remus somehow plays a fairly large role.
What Changed
Between my original plot structure and the final chapter, tons of things were edited out, put in, moved about, dismissed as stupid, or added after a moment of inspiration. Here are the most significant ones. Hopefully all of these changes were for the better.
I first thought that Percy and Oliver would break up because they were afraid to be together. It was melodramatic, it was clichéd, and it ended up bearing far too much of a resemblance to a series of Remus/Sirius fics that I wrote pre-OotP, called the If In The Series. (I now consider them to be, while not awful, very definitely early works.) As I wrote the first few chapters I decided that Oliver as I had established him wouldn't break up with Percy out of fear or some sort of internalized homophobia, but that Percy probably would. After all, what would the Ministry think? Hence Part One as it currently reads.
In early drafts the Recruitment Department consisted solely of Oliver, Percy, and Charlie – adding Mrs. Figg and Mundungus is probably the change I like the most. They were never originally intended to have very large roles, but as the fic continued their forceful personalities began to demand more and more time. The dynamic between them was quite fun to write. Some readers have asked if they have some unresolved sexual tension; I really don't know. As they were intended as very minor characters, I didn't think much about their love lives. Once I realized that they were going to have fairly big parts I decided that I'd leave their relationship somewhat ambiguous. You can see them as having UST vibes or not. The main thing about their relationship is that Mundungus respects Mrs. Figg and wants to have her respect, though he isn't willing to change anything about himself. Mrs. Figg considers him irresponsible but over time begins to give him credit where credit is due.
Percy's discovery of the romance between Remus and Sirius also suffered from melodrama in its original conception, though by the time I'd written the first six chapters or so of Part Two I had revised it.
I toyed with the idea of Ian having an enormous crush on Percy, but it didn't add anything to the plot, and so it was discarded. Ian thinks Percy is attractive, but he's more interested in his boyfriend Arnaud.
The Characters
There simply has to be more to Percy than what we are given in canon. At some point I hope that the things I see as his insecurities will be explored. The main thing I perceive about his character, both in canon and in this fic, is that he always wants to do the right thing but can have a very warped view of what the right thing is. He essentially loves his family, I think; in GoF he's worried when Ron comes out of the lake after the Second Task and even in OotP I have the sense that he's rejecting his family "for their own good" as well as his own. Overall I see him as an immature person who is still in the phase of doing things for the sake of other people's approval, a phase he mostly leaves over the course of In A Time Of Uncertainty.
Oliver is a Gryffindor. He's determined. Given his question about what basketball is from PS/SS, he's probably a pureblood. He likes Quidditch almost to the point of insanity and becomes the Reserve Seeker for Puddlemere United after graduating from Hogwarts. And that, I believe, is the full extent of the information we have about Oliver from the books. Given those things I decided that he probably has a very high sense of morals – he doesn't cheat like the Slytherin team does in Quidditch and values hard work – and is most likely quite intelligent. He's athletic but has never struck me as a "dumb jock". Oliver as Scottish is an image solely created by Sean Biggerstaff, but I didn't see anything wrong with it and so I kept it for the fic. In contrast to Percy's enormous family, I decided to make him an only child, and it was also for the sake of contrast that he accepts his own sexuality. I gave him a fascination with murder mysteries because I thought he'd like the complexity.
Although Remus is a quiet person in canon, a lot of the time he's a prime example of "actions speak louder than words", and so I didn't have to speculate much on his character except when it came to his relationship with Sirius – and even there canon gives a fair bit to work with. After Sirius's death he is in mourning but still recognizes his responsibilities to Sirius, Harry, the Order, and, once they have formed a tentative friendship, Oliver and later Percy. He isn't overly comfortable with his role of gay mentor, but he tries to do the best he can.
Sirius is never physically present in In A Time Of Uncertainty, but his memory and influence are a character onto themselves. He ends up affecting everything from Remus's teaching to dinner conversation at the Burrow to the friendship between Remus and Oliver to Percy's understanding of Remus as a person. In a way he isn't fully gone, as everyone is still processing his death – including me.
Penelope is a basically good person, and Percy genuinely loves her while they are together. He has role models as to how to have a good relationship with a woman, and therefore their love is able to grow. However, he's still a child in a lot of ways, and so he allows it to be trampled upon by his visions of professional success. I don't know what's happened to Penelope, but like Percy I hope she's found someone else and is happy.
Mundungus is Mundungus – he takes advantage of each opportunity and is loyal even though he is always looking out for himself. (I'll admit, part of the reason I like Mundungus is Sirius liked him.) From canon I have the feeling he's a pretty good person, and therefore in this fic he is fond of Mr. Tibbles and is irritated at Charlie and Oliver for poking fun at his (Dung's) mother, though in Part Four we learn that she annoys him. He truly cares about the Order and is helpful to George after George's injury. If he likes a person it is because of how they act, not who they are in the eyes of others.
This last is a quality that he shares with Mrs. Figg – Arabella to you if you're over the age of thirty-five. She, however, is less inclined to make exceptions for irresponsibility. I suspect that she's had to prove herself a lot during the course of her life, being a Squib among wizards, and it's Mundungus's initial lack of proving himself that annoys her. Oliver and Percy are working hard and therefore in her good graces. (And in case any of you Dung/Figgy shippers were wondering about their age difference, Mundungus is fifty-eight and I put Mrs. Figg at seventy-four.)
Despite some members of the fandom who blame every single problem Molly's children have on their mother, I think that she is essentially a good mother who has made some mistakes. She is not immediately opposed to new things, but she takes some time to get used to them, and therefore Percy's relationship with Oliver is still settling in her head. Molly is worn out by both the conflicts between her children and the war, and at times can be a bit hysterical. As shown by her eventual allowance of Ron and Ginny to live in the Caribbean, she's willing to compromise if it will settle tensions.
At this point of his life, Arthur is essentially tired. Working for both the Order and the Ministry, he's spending all his energy on practicality and therefore doesn't have much left for dramatic situations. (He also may still be undergoing some physical stress from his injury.) This quality of realism allows him to take him less time than Molly to accept Oliver as their son's boyfriend, and the same quality that leads him to oppose Percy and Oliver's early intimacy.
If Oliver's parents were mirror images of Percy's, Michael is Molly's parallel component. He begins with a very set idea of how life is going to be and is forced to change it, something that he is not entirely willing to do. Seeing as Oliver is his only son he is very protective of him.
Anne is to Arthur as Michael is to Molly, though Anne is less exhausted and up until the last few chapters has many different areas on which to focus her attentions. (The alliteration between the two couples is coincidental, though I wish I could say it wasn't!) Among the four parents, she has perhaps the widest view of the world.
When I began to create Ian I had one goal in mind: Don't Make A Gary Stu. This was the original reason for his looking like the epitome of normality, though in later drafts I decided that Oliver has had enough drama in the boyfriend department and would be attracted to someone who was both ordinary and already a friend. Like Mrs. Figg and Mundungus, Ian kept wanting more time and development. He's a proud person, to a certain degree, and doesn't like to be wrong; he also doesn't always have a good concept of things that should be private and things that should be public. All and all he's a kind person, though, and a good friend. The degree of intimacy that he and Oliver have in their first scene together results from their friendship of over a decade; a few readers said they felt a little bad that Oliver and Ian had to break up. If they had stayed together, though, their relationship wouldn't have worked; as Oliver says, the war would mean there would always be things he couldn't tell Ian. They love each other and were essentially friends with benefits. (As a side note, Ian is named for Sir Ian McKellan, wonderful actor and my fellow shipper of both Frodo/Sam and Antonio/Bassanio from The Merchant of Venice, though his fairly common last name is another indicator of his ordinariness.)
Charlie, I decided, as an older sibling with more life experience, would be generally supportive of Percy. Bill is also supportive but not involved to the extent that Charlie is, as Charlie, Percy, and Oliver had more time together with the Recruitment Department. Speaking of Bill, I decided very early on that he would have broken up with Fleur, for one reason: I don't like Fleur. Perhaps not very fair, but there it is. Besides, Fleur/Bill would mean she'd most likely necessitate at least a couple of appearances, and I couldn't think of anything she'd contribute to the story. Bellatrix ended up in Azkaban for the same reason.
Ron was pretty fun to write. From his perspective, I think it would very easily look like Percy began to date Oliver so he could garner sympathy and acceptance into the Order. In canon Ron never seems willing to believe the best of Percy even when the circumstances are highly open to interpretation. Ron as a homophobe is, to put it mildly, not one of my favorite characterizations of him. He's like his mother in that he needs time to get used to new things. Besides, in this story Ron already knows about Remus's relationship with Sirius and is willing to live in Grimmauld Place with him for a time, so Ron as a homophobe was not only unflattering but nonsensical.
What has always fascinated me about Fred and George is how much of their identity in canon (at least what Harry sees of it) is focused around being funny and being twins. As the war continued I figured that they'd be forced to grow up in a hurry. The removal of George's leg physically marks them as different while their emotional selves are going through different things.
Ginny is analytical and forthcoming, qualities I think she displayed in OotP. Her ordeal in CoS aside, in some ways I see her as the most "normal" Weasley child.
There is a lack of gay characters in fiction, I believe, who are able to help their younger counterparts without being either predatory or asexual. In this story Remus ends up meeting this challenge, but before he does so Jean-Marc is Oliver's guidance in the area of sexual identity. He has a healthy relationship with his boyfriend Louis but is also a writer of erotic fiction, which he shares with Oliver in the way that straight male friends might pass around a porn magazine. Jean-Marc has insights on life but doesn't know everything. It is through him that Oliver meets Luc, his first boyfriend. Originally Luc had a bit more of a role; he's very charming but not in a false way. (Jean-Marc and Luc are named after three of the Gospel writers, as in the gospel truth; with them Oliver is his whole self for the first time in his life. The French version of Matthew was not used for personal reasons.)
In terms of obsessive madness, Penge is to Puddlemere United as Oliver is to Gryffindor Quidditch PS/SS to PoA. I made him a former Hufflepuff because I think that Hufflepuffs, despite their unfair reputation, have the capacity to be very tenacious. He certainly is fair, if not always gentle about it. It's worthy to note that he sees Percy ("the redhead") as another distraction influencing the team, along with girlfriends and publicity, and nothing more. (Penge, as a couple of readers guessed, is named after Clive Durham's country estate in the novel Maurice by E. M. Forster. While at Penge Clive and Maurice try to cover up their relationship – later former relationship – as Oliver and Reginald Jackson are hiding theirs at Puddlemere United. Penge is in a way the personification of Puddlemere as a whole. After this the similarities between IATOU and Maurice end. Confusingly enough, Oliver's mother Anne Wood is one letter away from the maiden name of Clive's wife, Anne Woods. I didn't realize that until her name was already established as such. It's the Mark Evans of IATOU. If you're confused, I don't blame you.)
Reginald Jackson, Puddlemere Beater and former porn shop employee…I have no idea why he is the way he is, and all that is important for the purpose of the story is that he is that way. Obviously he has a lot of problems accepting himself, though, unfortunately, that doesn't stop him from wanking Oliver in back alleys. Why did Oliver want to be with Jackson in the first place? Because he still had a certain degree of insecurity (remember, part of the reason he asked Percy to dinner in Part One was because Luc had a lover and Oliver felt he ought to be able to have a love life as well) and read too many erotic novels. Jackson the rough-trade worker at the porn shop is indeed something out of a realm of fantasy. (No parts of his name are symbolic whatsoever. In fact, I don't think any of the Puddlemere players have meaningful names…Douglas the Seeker isn't named after Bosie or anything like that.)
There are a lot of Percy/Oliver fics in which they are the only two Gryffindor boys in their year and therefore have a room to themselves; it certainly works if the author wants to get them quickly into bed with each other (not always a bad thing!) but is probably not very realistic. What I like about Theo and Lane is that they ended up serving as two characters representing the outer world. While Percy and Oliver are having their subtle flirtations in Part One, Lane is blunt about his opinions and pulls Oliver out of his own little world. Lane's pregnant wife in Part Four is indicative of the responsibilities coming with age. And, of course, Theo's death is a sign that the war is truly having consequences. (In retrospect, it probably wasn't very bright of me to name him Theo, considering there is already one Theodore and one Ted in canon. His middle name, Asato, is the first name of one of my favorite anime characters of all time, Tsuzuki from Yami no Matsuei.)
Bits and Pieces
No, there is not a real book called Hung Jury, nor is The Emerald Cloak a real book or based on a real book.
In Part Two Oliver mentions the Edinburgh Fringe Festival; I performed there with my threatre group in high school. I don't recommend climbing Arthur's Seat.
The additional "S" in Remus's name in Part Four (R.J.S. Lupin) stands for Sirius. He took it on in memory.
Snape and Tonks are mentioned as being on a mission together because I'm a Snape/Tonks shipper.
Arthur's mention in Part Two of a flame-breathing computer is, in retrospect, a manifestation of my fears about this fic!
Canon JKR Clarified While I Was Writing
This fic is already AU. JKR gave Ginny's full name as Ginevra after I had it down as Virginia, and she made the age difference between Percy and his two older brothers smaller than I thought it was. She also placed Percy's birthday in August, whereas I have it in June.
Acknowledgements
Several people were very supportive while I was writing this fic, and although I know I'm going to miss someone, I'll do my best to get them all. EnchantedOnyx was enthusiastic about this fic throughout, and at times was a stable presence that I needed. WvB's reviews were greatly appreciated, as a (bisexual) woman writing about men in love always feels reassured if a gay man likes it. Other thanks go to Thia, for her owl review that sat in my box for months; Lily Michelle, for reading this fic even though it contradicts one of her favorite ships; rabidfangirl, for assuring me of my "eminent decency"; Hiril Moon and Gilana1 for their reviews that arrived by clockwork; Elisovara Marinetta Walker (also known as Eli, Scudder-Hall, and several other names) for all the squees; and lastly, to my fiancé, for listening to me go on and on about "I know what happens, but not how it happens" about eighty million times in the past year and four months. I love you.