AUTHOR: CobraGirl
RATING: PG
FANDOM: Harry Potter/Sandman
SPOILERS: HP: OotP. IF YOU HAVE NOT READ OR FINISHED READING BOOK 5, TURN BACK NOW. I MEAN IT.
SUMMARY: An ending and a beginning in the night sky.
ARCHIVE: Ask first, please.
DISCLAIMER: All characters used within belong to J.K. Rowling and Neil Gaiman. (Though I still say they're fair game if they're dead - I mean, it's pretty evident she didn't want him, and we'd all be more than glad to take him off her hands.)
DATE COMPLETED: June 25, 2003
When Sirius opened his eyes, he thought for a panicked instant that he had gone blind. Chest still stinging from Bellatrix's spell, he blinked rapidly and rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his vision. He thought he could hear someone whispering.
"Hello?" he called.
The whispering ceased as soon as he spoke. Frowning, he rubbed his eyes again and cautiously propped himself up on his elbows. The stinging in his chest blossomed into full-out throbbing as he moved. He hissed, twitching in pain, but kept himself upright.
"Remus?" he ventured, voice strained. "Tonks? Harry?"
Nothing. Were they gone, then? He knew they would answer if they were nearby....How long had he been knocked out? He glanced around, then, as his eyes wandered to the floor, he gasped.
A thick blanket of stars spread out beneath him, stretching toward the horizon before dipping into a faint but nevertheless noticeable curve. He instantly rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself up to get a better look. It was as if he were kneeling on top of the night sky itself...but this sky was brilliant and blinding, with trillions of stars undimmed by clouds or smog. In awe, he examined his hands in the newly discovered source of light, flexing them gently as the flickering glow skittered over his skin.
This isn't....Where am I? How did I get here? He cast around, trying to retrieve the thoughts that had been scattered about.
Dueling with Bellatrix. Check.
Getting hit with a spell. Most definitely check, he thought grimly as his hand wandered up to massage his aching chest. Couldn't have been Avada Kedavra, though, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to remember:
Falling backward onto the dais and through the....
Through the veil. Only the employees in the Department of Mysteries knew exactly what lay beyond the veil, but he'd heard rumors, and they'd given him a pretty good idea.
Sirius stared down at the stars and uttered the only words he could think of that would be appropriate in this sort of situation:
"Oh, shit."
"You know, a lot of people who arrive through that veil seem to say that."
The voice was feminine, the tone amused. He whipped around and scrambled to his feet, instinctively groping for his wand - but his wand wasn't there.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down," the voice said again, and as Sirius desperately squinted through the semidarkness, she came into view: a young woman, a bit younger than Tonks, but with her same heart-shaped face. Her black Muggle clothing and equally black hair contrasted sharply with her pale skin; more black rimmed her dark, compassionate eyes. As she moved closer, he could see something silver swinging from a chain around her neck. Despite himself, he tensed up.
"Who are you?" he demanded sharply. "What have you done with my wand?"
"Nothing," she said, shrugging. With a small smile that made the tattoo at the corner of her right eye crinkle slightly, she added, "And if you have a pretty good idea where you are, you should have a pretty good idea who I am."
"I - " He stopped. Every muscle in his body slackened abruptly; for an instant, he thought he would fall into the stars beneath them. He glanced down, drew in a deep, shaky breath, then looked back up at her. "I wasn't expecting...I had hoped I was mistaken." He tried to chuckle, but the sound caught in his throat and emerged as more of a hoarse croak. Then, desperately, "Why did it have to be now?"
She gave him a long, even look. Though she had surely been asked this question millions upon millions of times before, there was no trace of anger or annoyance when she spoke. "Because it was time, Sirius. That's all."
It was exactly the sort of infuriating non-answer he loathed. Even so, he felt the hard knot in his stomach lessen, felt some strength return to him. It was not a mistake, then. He looked up at the blinding blackness and sighed.
"So that's it, then," he mumbled.
"Yes." No apologies, no comfort: just that one word. She beckoned him and added, "Walk with me a bit."
He obliged, and they ambled over the endless expanse of stars together. It was mildly disconcerting, putting his foot down on an empty black space and finding that it supported his weight. Neither of them spoke for a while, but the silence was a comfortable one, the kind between old friends. In a way, that did not surprise him.
When they reached Orion, his eyes unconsciously made the familiar trek across Orion's Belt to the brightest star in Canis Major. He smiled a little.
"There I am," he whispered to himself. Turning to face her, he asked, "Will Harry be okay? Without me, I mean?"
"I don't know," she said. She spoke with the same frankness as before, of one who had long ago learned that a painful truth was better than a comforting lie. "You'd have to ask my brother. Though I don't think he'd tell you, either - he really doesn't like having people read over his shoulder, metaphorically speaking."
If her words puzzled Sirius, he made no sign of it. He had only been half-listening to her reply, anyway. "He's a good lad," he mumbled as he studied the stars. "He's been through a lot. Far too much. I...." He sighed again raised his head, meeting her eyes. "I wanted everything to work out. I wanted to be a good godfather, I really did. I would just...get carried away...sometimes." He shook his head, a rueful smile on his lips. "I was a real prat, wasn't I?"
"It happens." She shrugged again, smiling with the faint air of an indulgent mother. "And trust me, you're far from the only one."
He let out a harsh bark of laughter at that. "I suppose." Ahead of them, he thought he saw some flicker of movement, but dismissed it as a trick of the starlight.
They continued on in silence for several more minutes. Then, "So, where to?" the woman asked.
He jumped a little, not so much because of the abrupt break in the quiet, but because of her words. "What?" he said, sure he had misheard her.
"Where to?"
"You mean I get to choose?"
"Well, yes," she said, laughing a little, and Sirius couldn't help but smile sheepishly as well.
Again, in the distance, something moved. Sirius' smile faded as he tilted his head, peering ahead of them in an attempt to discern what it was. Without thinking, he slowed to a halt. The woman stopped as well, gazing at him with the same level, unsurprised look as before.
"I've thought about it," he said, speaking more as an afterthought; all his attention was focused on the movement up ahead. It seemed to be coming toward them. "There wasn't much else to think about in Azkaban. But then again, I haven't. It's not as simple as Heaven or Hell, is it? There's more to it than that, I just don't know what...I have no idea where I should go, or even where I want to - "
He broke off with a jolt. Suddenly, he realized what he was seeing.
A stag.
A stag was cantering toward them, painted silver by the starlight, horns twisting into graceful branches over its head. It almost looked like Harry's Patronus, but Sirius knew it couldn't be.
"Or maybe I do," he said. At that, the woman's face broke into a broad grin, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. He made no sign of acknowledgement - he was too busy staring at the stag with something like disbelief.
"Are you ready, then?" she asked.
"Yes...." He took a few trembling steps as the stag drew closer. "Yes, I believe I am."
And he broke into a run, laughing wildly, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Feet changed to paws as he pounded over the stars, and when he finally reached the stag, he leapt into the air to lick the creature's nose, barking madly all the while. The stag grunted a greeting and dipped its head, almost seeming to smile.
Sirius wagged his tail and looked back at the woman. She winked and raised one hand in a wave. He barked a farewell, grinning a dog's grin, and then he and the stag were off, racing side-by-side into the darkness.
The last sound he heard was the beating of enormous wings.
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"In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night...."
~Antoine de Saint Exupéry
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(fin)