So, again, the cast of Les Misérables is assembled looking very unhappy, yet again…
Enjolras: I can't believe you are making us do this again!
Marius: This is utterly ridiculous ::This is said while still nursing a bruise on his head::
Cosette: Oh Marius, does it still hurt?
Marius: Yes, it does. ::He casts a dirty look at Javert::
Javert: Hey, don't look at me, I didn't hit you.
Cosette: But it was your fault!
Javert: It is not my fault that your little husband ran into a wall
Marius: You were chasing me!
Javert: You were behaving like a four year old!
Marius: You're mean!
Javert: Oh, get over it!
Me: Okay people, I guess you are wondering why I have forced all of you to be here today…
Eponine: Don't make us act again, please!
Me: Sorry, no can do. I have brought you all together for a purpose.
Grantaire: Hey, wait, if I remember correctly from my drunken stupor, you guys left the show together…
Enjolras: Don't start Grantaire…
Eponine: Not now
Enjolras: Not today
Grantaire: Ah, trouble in paradise it seems.
Me: Anyway, today, special offer for you, you are not going to be performing a musical
Enjolras: Huzzah!
Grantaire: Let's go home then-
Me: Not quite that easy my friends…
Valjean: Uh oh, here it comes
Me: We are going to be performing a movie
Bahorel: So that means that those of us that were completely left out of the musical might actually get a part?
Me: It's a possibility…
Azelma: Huzzah!
Me: Azelma? I didn't even know you were here
Azelma: No one ever does.
Me: Anyway…
Javert: You were talking about a movie of some sort, let's get on with this
Me: Yes, thank you Javert, you are ever so helpful
Marius: ::cou-Teacher's pet-gh::
Javert: Do you want to start something?
Marius: What me? I just had a sore throat!
Javert: Oh, I'll give you a sore throat ::Advances menacingly::
Me: People! Come on, you don't even know what we are going to be performing yet!!!
Grantaire: So this is about the time that you're supposed to tell us…
Me: Okay, we're performing, drum roll please ::silence, only crickets can be heard:: Fine then, we are performing Ever After!
Javert: That stupid Cinderella ChickFlick?! ::gets dirty glare from Me:: I mean, oh, I cannot wait…
Me: Good, now that's the spirit
Enjolras: Let's just get on with this
Grantaire: Someone's in a rush this morning. Now I have to wonder if is to get away with someone ::casts look at Eponine, who only glares:: or to get away from someone
Enjolras: Oh Grantaire, do you ever let up?
Grantaire: Never!
Me: Okay, now for the casting. We have two options here. One, we stay with the regular casting and do not make men into women and the such. This casting would be Eponine as Danielle, Cosette as Marguerite, Azelma as Jacqueline-
Azelma: Wait, I actually have a part? A speaking part?
Me: Yes, a speaking part indeed.
Azelma: Huzzah!!!
Me: Anyway, Enjolras as Prince Henry, Marius as-
Enjolras: Hold on one second! Did you just say Prince Henry? As in the Prince of France? You have got to be kidding me!
Javert: Oh this is too good.
Grantaire: Our revolutionary as the Prince of France? Oh this is rich, this is just perfect! Oh this is so-
Enjolras: Impossible! You are, you, I, Prince of France?!
Grantaire: Ah, glib as ever I see.
Me: I'm sorry, but it's just the way the casting came out.
Javert: I cannot get over this
Enjolras: What is the other option?
Me: Well, that would involve you as Danielle…
Enjolras: Oh, I am not being a girl again!
Me: But then you can still have your beliefs about the people and try to change the monarch and-
Enjolras: be a girl!!!
Me: So you want option one?
Enjolras: The Prince of France? What did I do to deserve this? Couldn't I just be the odd little fellow Danielle is friends with?
Me: I don't think we can arrange that. Okay, so then the rest of the casting is Marius as Gustave
Marius: Oh, I hate these platonic relationship things
Cosette: Marius!
Marius: I meant that I want to be with you!
Grantaire: Sure he did
Me: Valjean as Leonardo da Vinci, Fantine as the Queen of France, Javert as the King of France
Javert: Ha! Now the boy will have to listen to me, I'll be his father! Now I must uphold the law! Ha!
Enjolras: Oh, this seems like déjà vu of my real life.
Javert: You are all my loyal subjects, ha, bow before your king!
Valjean: I don't know if it was such a good idea to give Javert the power of a king.
Me: I'm starting to agree. Okay, and Grantaire as Laurent
Courfeyrac: The faithful friend and guardian, oh that's rich
Me: And Mme. Thenardier as the Baroness
Valjean: Good casting
Me: And Montparnasse as Le Pieu
Eponine: Perfect casting on that part, Parnasse
Montparnasse: Oh, I actually get a part this time? Thanks
Me: I appreciate the sarcasm. And, is that everyone? ::checks list:: Everyone important at least
Feuilly: Thanks
Combeferre: It's nice to know we are important
Courfeyrac: I feel special
Joly: I feel sick
Me: Okay we'll start with the good part, so far we have met the very mean Baroness, and her two daughters the beautiful but stuck up Marguerite, and the nice little Jacqueline. Now remember Danielle's mother is dead and her father died when she was eight. The baroness made her a servant in her own home. Now the scene starts with our own Prince of France ::Enter Enjolras:: climbing down the side of his castle and trying to run away.
Enjolras: Please, please reconsider your casting choice! I'll be anyone, but not the prince of France
Me: How about the king?
Enjolras: Now you are just mocking me.
Javert: You can bet she is, for I am the king, Huzzah for me!
Me: Okay so Prince Henry has climbed down the side of his castle on a rope of sheets.
Enjolras: This story is already ridiculous!
Me: Just do it!
Enjolras: Yes, all right, now I climbed down the castle, now what?
Me: Well, get on your high horse and-
Enjolras: Excuse me?
Me: Get on your horse and run away, come on!
Enjolras: If you say so
Me: Okay, now Danielle you wake up by the fireplace in your rags and-
Eponine: Ah, rags, this reoccurring theme of my life
Enjolras: Javert can be the Prince, he would make such a good prince, he could do both parts, I'll be over there-
Me: Come on Enjolras
Enjolras: Combeferre can do it
Me: Enjolras…
Enjolras: How about Feuilly?
Me: Come on, now Danielle is picking apples in the orchard and on her way back to the house she sees you, on her horse
Enjolras: Combeferre would make a fine prince
Me: Now ride by and Eponine, you throw an apple at Enjolras and hit him off the horse
Eponine: Love to, I like this part already!
Enjolras: Or Marius ::Eponine throws apple, hits Enjolras squarely in the head, he falls off the horse:: (Nursing his head)Well that was fun
Eponine: ::continues to throw apples:: Thief! This will teach you to steal my father's horse
Thenardier: A horse? Sounds like we've got food for the week
Eponine and Azelma: Eww!
Enjolras: But my own has slipped it's shoe, I had no choice or Bahorel!
Eponine: And our choice is what? To let you? ::Enjolras's cape flips back over his head so that his face is visible. Eponine immediately drops into a bow:: Forgive me your highness I did not see you
Enjolras: (touching his hand to his head) Your aim would suggest otherwise How about Bossuet?
Eponine: And for this I know I must die
Enjolras: Death for hitting someone with an apple? Where is our liberty? I hate this role, you are doing this just to torture me! How about Joly, he could be the prince!
Me: Anyway, you give Eponine a bag of gold coins not to tell anyone about seeing him and he rides away. Next scene!
Enjolras: I hate this! I mean, even Grantaire would make a better prince than I would
Grantaire: Thanks
Me: Yes, we realize that you hate this and yes, you will be the prince!
Enjolras: What kind of sick, sadistic pleasure do you get from forcing us to do this?
Me: More than you realize. Okay people, so Danielle goes and she tells her servant friends that she is going to use the money to purchase back one of the servant's husband. Marguerite makes fun of you and that's about it for now. Now Enjolras on the other hand has met Valjean and saved the Mona Lisa from gypsy bandits
Javert: Not likely
Me: Javert! Anyway, the royal guard and his best friend and captain of the guard, Laurent, have caught Enjolras. They go back to the castle
Enjolras: Please do not make us do this movie!
Me: Hey, it's not my fault you and Eponine had a spat and you are in a bad mood!
Enjolras: We did not have a spat!
Eponine: You left me there
Enjolras: You gave me no choice
Eponine: I did not mean to-
Enjolras: Oh, but you did
Eponine: I couldn't help it
Enjolras: And I couldn't help leaving
Grantaire: Now this is getting interesting…
Enjolras: Be quiet Grantaire!
Me: Even though I would love to hear the rest of this conversation, we are up to an important scene so…
Enjolras: Fine, let's just get this over with
Me: Who let Mr. Sunshine out? Okay, so, Eponine has come to pay for the release of one of her servants, in the dress of a noblewoman, which is illegal and punishable by five days in the stocks.
Eponine: This man is my servant and I am here to pay the debt against him (etc.)
Me: Now the mean guard starts to yell at her but here comes our hero Henry now!
Enjolras: How dare you raise your voice to a lady!
Me: The mean boss tries to explain as does Eponine, who fears the Prince will recognize her as the servant who hit him, but he doesn't. The mean man tells Henry that by order of the king these 'convicts'
Valjean: What?
Me: are being taken to the coast etc.
Eponine: A servant is not a thief and those who are cannot help themselves
Enjolras: Really? Well then, enlighten us
Eponine: If you suffer your people to be ill educated and their manors corrupted from birth and then punish these individuals for the crimes that their first education disposed them, then what else is to be concluded, sire, than that you first make thieves and then punish them?
Enjolras: Exactly!
Me: Enjolras, that isn't your line
Enjolras: What? Oh yes, my line! Release him
Me: So the prince pardons Maurice the servant and then tries to talk to Danielle, because he liked her spirit, but she is afraid that he will find she is a servant
Enjolras: Please, I beg of you a name any name, and not his!
Eponine: I fear the only name I can leave you with is Comtesse Nicole de Lancret I said I was sorry!
Me: But this is really Danielle's mother's name. Anyway, the queen comes out and Danielle takes the opportunity to flee. She goes back home for a joyful reunion of the servants. And Henry is yelled at by his father for trying to run away
Javert: Ah yes, I finally get to punish the boy
Enjolras: What fun...
Javert: I am in a foul disposition... ::Valjean stifles back laughter::
Grantaire: Break time!
Me: What? No, not break time, work time!
Grantaire: Break time!
Marius: Huzzah, break time!
Combeferre: Break time!
Azelma: Finally, break time!
Cosette: Huzzah!
Javert: Break time!
Valjean: Break time!
Joly: I feel sick
Me: Okay, fine, Break time!
All: Huzzah!
In the male dressing area
Grantaire: Enjolras, you need to tell someone about what happened with you and Eponine
Enjolras: Well, I think the last person I would ever tell is you
Grantaire: But you do have to tell someone, and I am your friend and confidant, at least in the movie
Enjolras: You wouldn't understand
Grantaire: But I would listen
Enjolras: I guess that is something. Are you sober?
Grantaire: Sober enough
Enjolras: I guess I should tell someone
Grantaire: I'm listening
Meanwhile, in Eponine's dressing room with Cosette and Azelma
Cosette: What is with you and Enjolras?
Eponine: Nothing
Azelma: Come on Ep, tell me
Cosette: It will make you feel better
Eponine: (to Cosette) Well, I can't tell you
Cosette: Does it have to do with Marius?
Eponine: Perhaps
Cosette: I swear, you can tell me
Eponine: Swear not to judge or tell Marius?
Cosette: I swear
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Eponine: We went out to eat at this nice restaurant, it was amazing
Enjolras: She seemed to be having a nice time
Eponine: He was being so great
Enjolras: I was really enjoying her company
Eponine: I ate snails
Enjolras: It was, I must admit, kind of cute the way she looked at the snails
Eponine: And they were good!
Enjolras: She was acting as if she had never been in a restaurant before
Eponine: We went for a walk around the city
Enjolras: Well, I, I took her hand in mine
Eponine: It was so romantic
Enjolras: It was dark and I did not want anything to happen to her
Eponine: I felt safe
Enjolras: I know the kind of people who are on the streets
Eponine: The lights looked so beautiful in the river
Enjolras: She looked so beautiful
Eponine: He said I looked beautiful
Enjolras: Well, she took her hand away from mine and began to run, taunting me playfully
Eponine: If he wanted me he would have to catch me
Enjolras: She had taken my necktie
Eponine: He looked so cute when he realized what I had done
Enjolras: Well I caught her
Eponine: He caught me
Enjolras: She can run quite fast you know
Eponine: He ran real fast
Enjolras: We were both laughing by that point
Eponine: His laugh is so comforting, I love it
Enjolras: It surprised me because I seldom do so
Eponine: I put the tie back around his neck
Enjolras: And her laugh is so beautiful
Eponine: But I had no idea how to tie it
Enjolras: I had to help her tie it though
Eponine: Well, he took my hand and showed me how
Enjolras: So she was able to tie it in the end
Eponine: Now I can tie one if there is ever need be
Enjolras: And I grabbed her hand, I don't know what came over me
Eponine: He took my hand again
Enjolras: Well, I don't know how
Eponine: Don't ask me but
Enjolras: We wound up close
Eponine: I wanted him to kiss me
Enjolras: I wanted to kiss her, I am human you know! And there is nothing I can do with the revolution, I can't do any of the things that I am used to, no speeches, or barricades. Frankly, I'm sick of it. It's completely against my character but
Eponine: He leaned in and
Enjolras: I stopped
Eponine: He wouldn't do it
Enjolras: We were in a public place, I did not want to besmirch her reputation
Eponine: And what was worse
Enjolras: Even though I did take her hand again
Eponine: When it was time to part company
Enjolras: I kissed her hand
Eponine: He kissed my hand! What is with them? The forehead, then the hand, do they not know what part of the body is made for kissing? What do they teach them in those schools?
Enjolras: She seemed disappointed
Eponine: I was extremely disappointed
Enjolras: I don't know why
Eponine: Am I too hideous for Enjolras to even consider kissing?
Enjolras: She seemed sad too
Eponine: Did he take me out to dinner out of pity?
Enjolras: I really did want to kiss her
Eponine: I know he is chaste and everything
Enjolras: But I have principles
Eponine: That is one of the greatest, sweetest and cutest things about him
Enjolras: And I would not want to overstep the boundaries
Eponine: But I wanted him to kiss me!
Enjolras: But she looked so beautiful
Eponine: And he is the handsomest man I have ever seen!
Enjolras: I went back the next day
Eponine: He actually came back again
Enjolras: She seemed a bit surprised
Eponine: I never thought he would come back to see me again
Enjolras: I couldn't stop thinking about her
Eponine: He wanted to take me out to dinner again
Enjolras: She seemed, I don't know, skeptical.
Eponine: I was even more surprised now.
Enjolras: She said yes
Eponine: I was really happy
Enjolras: I was so relieved
Eponine: He looked as though he thought that I would reject him
Enjolras: I was afraid she still wanted Marius.
Eponine: He gave me some money
Enjolras: I asked her to purchase appropriate evening attire
Eponine: He told me to buy a dress
Enjolras: I would have bought it for her
Eponine: Imagine me, going into a store to buy, and these were his exact words, it was so cute 'appropriate evening attire'
Enjolras: But I couldn't very well go into a women's clothing store
Eponine: I had never been in one of those fancy-pansy stores
Enjolras: I still have some dignity left.
Eponine: To tell you the truth I was looking forward to it
Enjolras: I remembered how beautiful she looked in the last play
Eponine: I wanted a dress like Cosette had
Enjolras: I went to her house
Eponine: And here was the big problem
Enjolras: She did look beautiful
Eponine: I was wearing the dress
Enjolras: I again took her hand
Eponine: He was always such a gentleman
Enjolras: And then she surprised me
Eponine: I mean, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek
Enjolras: I was flabbergasted
Eponine: He was even cuter when he was surprised
Enjolras: I, it was odd
Eponine: He put his hand to his cheek
Enjolras: But nice
Eponine: Like he really appreciated such a small token of gratitude
Enjolras: Surprisingly nice actually
Eponine: When he had done so much for me
Enjolras: I was actually happy
Eponine: We were both happier after that
Enjolras: I thought this signified that the night was going to go well
Eponine: I know I was
Enjolras: So we began walking again
Eponine: I thought that this night was going to be the best one of my life
Enjolras: And then it happened
Eponine: I can't believe it
Enjolras: She said
Eponine: I called him
Enjolras: 'I was looking forward to tonight,
Eponine: Marius!
Enjolras: She actually called me Marius!
Eponine: I couldn't believe what I had just said
Enjolras: I couldn't believe it
Eponine: He looked shocked
Enjolras: I was speechless
Eponine: I tried to apologize
Enjolras: She said she was sorry
Eponine: But he did not believe me
Enjolras: I knew she was still in love with Marius
Eponine: He looked hurt
Enjolras: She will always be in love with Marius
Eponine: I felt terrible
Enjolras: And I can never change that
Eponine: I wanted to cry
Enjolras: Never
Eponine: Seeing him like that
Enjolras: So it's futile to try
Eponine: So he just left
Enjolras: I don't know how but before I realized it I was home
Eponine: He didn't even say good-bye
Enjolras: I just left her there
Eponine: I watched him go
Enjolras: It is for the better this way
Eponine: And then I did cry
Enjolras: Let her pine after Marius
Eponine: But not because I felt bad for him
Enjolras: But now I have nothing
Eponine: I cried because I had sent him away
Enjolras: No revolution
Eponine: The only person who I felt I could trust and care for
Enjolras: No barricade
Eponine: The only person who could ever care for me
Enjolras: No red
Eponine: And he was gone
Enjolras: Just black
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Grantaire: Ah, that could explain it
Enjolras: I can't believe I just bared my soul to you winecask
Grantaire: Do you feel better now?
Enjolras: No, now I have to worry about you keeping the secret
Grantaire: You have my word as a drunk
Azelma: Oh dear, poor Enjolras
Cosette: I can't believe it
Eponine: I thought that I was completely over Marius! I mean, Enjolras is so much more handsome and strong and passionate and did I mention gorgeous? Oh and that cute red vest, he is greater than Marius in everything! I mean, Marius is like a girl and Enjolras, oh Enjolras is a man! Besides, Marius is so-
Cosette: We get the idea
Azelma: What in the world possessed you to call him Marius?
Eponine: I guess that in all my dreams it was Marius who did such nice things for me. And then all my dreams were coming true and in my mind I just got confused…
Me: Okay, people, next scene! Now Danielle is outside picking mushrooms and Henry is walking with Leonardo da Vinci talking about love. They meet and discuss politics and argue but Danielle has to go for fear that someone will find her there.
Javert: This is so stupid, you have really bad taste in movies.
Me: So sue me
Javert: Fine, I'll call me a lawyer, now where is that boy? Oh boy! I have a case for you!
Enjolras: I don't do that anymore
Javert: Well, you need some way to make a living, a barricade doesn't keep mouths fed. Being a lawyer does.
Me: Oh help, something Javert said actually made sense, run away, hide, it's a sign of the apocalypse!
Javert: Very funny, you just all know that I'm right is all!
Eponine: ::shivers:: Oh, I'm afraid
Enjolras: Must we go into my life choices now?
Grantaire: Yes, if he wants to be a drunken bum on the street, let him
Enjolras: Oh, I'm sorry Grantaire, I didn't know I was taking your job
Javert: Meow!
Enjolras: We are not going to getting into this again Javert, I have sworn to myself not to strangle you with my bare hands and I do not intend to break that vow, though I will if I must!
Javert: I wasn't afraid before and I am not afraid now, boy!
Enjolras: Dix, neuf, huit, sept, six, cinq-
Javert: Oh the boy can count, your parents must be so proud that you learned something in school.
Valjean: You are such an antagonist Javert, just leave it be!
Javert: Don't talk to me like that. If you had taken your own advice and left that bread to be then we wouldn't-
Valjean: That was decades ago, elephants never forget do they?
Javert: If you implying something about my weight monsieur…
Valjean: Just give the kid a break, you are always on his back
Javert: And your number is always on your chest, must we go into this?
Me: Javert, do you want me to change your part to that of a girl? I'll do it you know
Javert: That's blackmail!
Me: So sue me-
Enjolras: Oh no, that is how we got into this conversation in the first place!
Me: You're right, okay next scene! Well, actually, the next good scene. Henry goes to Danielle's house when everyone else is away at church.
Eponine: We need more breaks
Me: No, we only have a limited amount of time
Eponine: We have a limited amount of time? I thought you controlled us forever!
Me: Oh that's true, but I do have a life you know
Javert: Really? Could have fooled us
Me: Javert, I'm sure that Fantine's costume would fit you
Fantine: Yes, I'm sure it would Javert. Please, do try it on
Javert: What, are you all in on this?
Fantine: No it's true Javert, with a few nips and tucks this dress could fit you…
Eponine: I think you would look quite good in it
Javert: Arrgh, you are all against me!
Valjean: Well, maybe if you would stop antagonizing everyone else
Eponine: And leave Enjy alone!
Enjolras: Thank you Eponine, but I can fight my own battles…
Eponine: (to Azelma, worried) Oh, he is mad, he didn't even correct me about using his name
Me: Okay, costumes everyone!
10 minutes later
Grantaire: 64 bottles of beer on the wall, 64 bottles of beer. You take one down, pass it around, 63 bottles of beer on the wall! Everybody!
Feuilly: 63 bottles of beer on the wall.
Bahorel: 63 bottles of beer
Les Amis: You take one down, pass it around-
Me: This break was supposed to be to get into costume, not to get drunk!
Grantaire: Oh, sorry, we didn't know that
10 minutes later
Grantaire: Negative 5 bottles of beer on the wall, negative 5 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, negative 6 bottles of beer on the wall!
Enjolras: This has got to be a new low winecask
Grantaire: Oh, we're not even close
Me: Argh, you people! Twenty minutes and all you did was drink! I give up, I simply give up!
Les Amis: Huzzah!!!
Eponine: Oh, I actually feel kind of bad
Fantine: We drove her insane
Grantaire: Someone get the straightjacket
Me: No, no, I will not let you people beat me. I'm a stronger man by far, there is power in me yet-
Valjean: My race is not yet ru-uuuun!
Me: Exactly! Now let's go! Henry, knock on the door
Bossuet: Knock, knock
Grantaire: Who's there?
Me: No! Henry, knock on the door!
Enjolras: My name is not Henry.
Me: Yes, I know, whatever! So Henry invites Danielle to the monastery
Eponine: It is not fair your highness, you know my weakness but I do not know yours
Enjolras: I would think it was quite obvious. ::Eponine blushes, or more truthfully she just pinches her cheeks::Captain Laurent, I will not be needing your services. Today I am simply Henry.
Me: Okay, they take a carriage ride
Grantaire: The two of them, alone in a small, enclosed area, if those walls could talk
Enjolras: I doubt that will happen.
Eponine: Listen Enjolras, I said I was sorry!
Enjolras: I have no idea what you're talking about
Eponine: Come on, forgiveness is an important quality in a man.
Enjolras: Well it is too bad that I cannot be the man that you obviously so desperately want.
Eponine: I don't want him!
Enjolras: Anyway, the next scene is…
Me: Oh yes, we're in the monastery
Eponine: I've never seen so many books in all my life
Enjolras: Pick one
Eponine: I could no sooner choose a favorite star in all the heavens
Enjolras: What is it that fascinates you so?
Eponine: I guess it is because when I was younger my father…(etc)
Me: Okay, now the scene opens with Danielle and Henry in the forest and their carriage is broken. They could go back to the monastery but Danielle says…
Eponine: Really your highness, where is your sense of adventure?
Enjolras: I don't know, why don't you ask Marius? Oh, please forgive me everyone, I am in a foul mood…
Javert: We noticed
Enjolras: (biting his tongue to keep from lashing out at a certain police inspector) Well, if you put it that way…
Me: Now we are in a different part of the forest
Enjolras: Is this story going anywhere?
Me: Well, you are supposed to be falling in love
Enjolras: Why bother trying to do something so futile? Just a waste of time anyway
Me: Okay, so Danielle is up a tree. In her undergarments
Enjolras: Well, I must protest against that!
Me: It's in the script. Believe me, the undergarments are not scandalous
Enjolras: Well, they obviously are if they are called 'undergarments'
Me: Then don't look!
Enjolras: You would think I would know the way to my own castle
Eponine: Honestly, why is it that men never ask for directions?
Enjolras: I still do not believe that I am down here while you are up there, and in your, um, ahem undergarments no less
Eponine: Well I couldn't very well climb up in my dress now could I? And you might break your royal neck and then where would you be?
Enjolras: You swim alone, climb trees, rescue servants, is there anything you can't do?
Eponine: Fly. Now turn around, I am coming back down
Me: Now this is the part where a gypsy punches you in the face Enjolras.
Bahorel: Finally I get a part
Grantaire: Well that's fitting
Enjolras: Bahorel punching me in the face? Well, I guess that is fitting on this glorious day.
Me: Well, he won't really punch you, just trick photography…
Enjolras: It doesn't really matter
Eponine: Stop sounding so despondent, I feel bad enough as it is!
Enjolras: I'm sorry Eponine, I would never want to say anything to hurt you.
Eponine: What do you want me to do? What? I'll do it, just tell me!
Enjolras: Just climb down your tree
Eponine: No, I will not come down until you forgive me
Enjolras: Well then you are going to be up there for a very long time
Eponine: Please Enjolras, you were always such a gentleman and I know that you still are. I know that I'm a horrible person but you just have to forgive me, you just have to. I don't think I can take it to have you hate me.
Enjolras: I don't hate you Eponine. Please, just come down from the tree.
Eponine: Fine, I'll come down. Let's finish the scene.
Enjolras: Fine. ::Bahorel 'punches' Henry and a fight ensues:: Stay aloft madam, there are games afoot
Courfeyrac: (as gypsy leader, picking up Danielle's dress with his sword) My wife thanks you for this fine garment mademoiselle.
Eponine: You will return my dress sir ::Enjolras punches out Bahorel, Eponine jumps on Courfeyrac. But Eponine is caught and a knife put to her throat::
Enjolras: Let her go, your quarrel is with me ::They let Eponine go::
Eponine: I demand that you return my dress and since you have deprived me of my escort I demand a horse as well.
Courfeyrac: My lady, you may have anything you can carry
Eponine: Do I have your word on that sir?
Courfeyrac: On my honor as a gypsy, whatever you can carry ::Eponine goes to Enjolras to pick him up::
Enjolras: Oh no, let me at least keep this shred of dignity
Me: It's in the script
Eponine: I won't drop you, I picked up Cosette in the last play
Enjolras: That is not what I am worried about. But to think of a female picking me up, and in this costume!
Courfeyrac: It is only for a moment
Me: Please, we are getting so far in the movie. Please, oh please, oh please?!
Enjolras: Can't I have a body double or something?
Grantaire: I'll do it
Eponine: Sorry Grantaire, I don't know if I can pick you up
Me: Besides, it is only for one scene!
Enjolras: Oh, I know I am going to regret this…
::Eponine picks up Enjolras and carries him away, while the band of gypsies/students laugh)::
Eponine: You weigh less than Cosette.
Enjolras: Please, I cannot talk to you when you are carrying me around in your undergarments. I may not have any dignity left, but I do have some sense of decency.
Eponine: Oh please, it's not like you haven't seen all this before
Enjolras: Actually…
Courfeyrac: Come back, come back, I'll give you a horse!
Eponine: Don't you ever get tired of being perfect?
Enjolras: Do you ever get tired of Marius? ::Eponine puts him down::
Me: Okay, now we're in the gypsy camp and you both have a mug of ale and you are sitting around a fire playing 'secrets' Henry, you lose
Eponine: It is your turn, and it had better be good
Enjolras: I have no desire to be king
Eponine: But think of all the good you can do for your country, for the world.
Enjolras: But to be so defined by you position, you have no idea
Eponine: You might be surprised. A gypsy, for example, is never painted as anything else, but it is not who they are. They are defined by their title just as you are by yours. You have been born to privilege and with that comes specific obligations. I am sorry, it seems my mouth has run away with me again.
Enjolras: No, my lady, it is your mouth that has me hypnotized.
Me: (in a whisper) Now you are supposed to kiss
Enjolras: I can't do it.
Me: You have to
Enjolras: I can't
Grantaire: You have lips, she has lips. You obviously can do it.
Enjolras: Grantaire…
Grantaire: It's true
Me: Just do it!
Eponine: If he doesn't want to do it, he doesn't have to do it.
Me: Oh yes he does! It is one of the best parts of the entire movie!
Enjolras: I won't do it!
Me: You have to do it!
Enjolras: I won't do it!
Me: I insist that you do it!
Eponine: No, I am too hideous, he can't even bear the thought, look at him!
Enjolras: Eponine-
Eponine: No, admit it, you can't stand the sight of me. You want someone more like Cosette, all peaches and cream.
Enjolras: At least she would remember my name
Eponine: I know your name! Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjolras!
Enjolras: Eponine…
Eponine: Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjolras, Enjol-
Enjolras: Eponine…
Eponine: Just admit it, admit that you are repulsed by me!
Enjolras: Eponine-
Eponine: Admit it!
Enjolras: I am not repulsed by you! I think you are one of the prettiest, sweetest, most refreshing people I have ever met and- ::He never got to finish his sentence because Eponine fairly launched herself at him::
Marius: Technically, you didn't
Grantaire: Good point.
Courfeyrac: Look at Enjolras, he has no idea where to put his hands
Grantaire: I could tell him where to-
Marius: Grantaire, remember, you are in the presence of my wife!
Grantaire: Oh, sorry. I could also tell you where to-
Marius: That is enough!
Grantaire: Wow, they're really going at it
Courfeyrac: I think it is more Eponine than Enjolras
Combeferre: I think I would die of shock if I found out that Enjolras had initiated such a kiss.
Grantaire: I would be proud.
Courfeyrac: It would mean that we have succeeded in corrupting him
Grantaire: Oh, I cannot believe we have this entire on tape
Courfeyrac: Enjolras will never live this down
Combeferre: This is so weird. Another sign of the apocalypse is when Enjolras begins enjoying having someone throw herself at him.
Grantaire: If he begins to enjoy this we are never going to have any women for ourselves.
Courfeyrac: Let us pray that he is a monogamous sort of person.
Combeferre: I have a feeling he is.
Grantaire: That's a relief ::eventually Eponine did relinquish hold of Enjolras, and the look on his face cannot be described, you will have to order the videotape::
Enjolras: Uh, ahem, yes, um, unh, well, yes. That was, um, quite an experience, oh my.
Courfeyrac: That is the least comprehensible sentence he has ever uttered
Combeferre: But it was about equal to Grantaire's speech after a particularly large quantity of alcohol.
Grantaire: (taking a particularly large gulp of wine) You can say that again.
Me: What in the world was that? I mean, that was Enjolras, wasn't it? It sure looked like him. But he was kissing Eponine, so it obviously wasn't him, but-
Combeferre: Don't try to rationalize
Fantine: Oh, that was so sweet ::aside to Cosette:: I want you to stay away from those two, they're trouble
Eponine: For someone who never kisses you sure are good at it ::at this Enjolras begins to redden, the amis see a great opportunity.::
Courfeyrac: Enjolras, why I had no idea
Feuilly: No better than Grantaire
Combeferre: Friends, maybe we shouldn't-
Javert: (well, of course he was never one to keep his mouth shut) I should arrest you, gallivanting around with the street harlot, I knew it all along!
Valjean: Yes Javert, you're always right, you know everything
Javert: Don't patronize me 9430
Valjean: Hey, at least use my first number, that one is so much easier to rhyme
Javert: What?
Me: Okay, so um, yes, we have a kiss on tape, but we, um, want to keep this rated PG-13 ::Enjolras reddens slightly more::
Enjolras: It was not that bad!
Grantaire: Our chaste statue just kissed a girl! On tape!
Enjolras: Oh, I forgot about the tape ::Though Enjolras was nowhere near red, it was amazing how very close HE was getting::
Me: Don't worry, we can't use that take
Courfeyrac: Which means you will have to do it again!
Enjolras: You will all pay for this mocking someday.
Grantaire: Ah, but to live for the moment, that is how we shall play out today's events.
Enjolras: I never once mocked you for all of your gallivanting
Grantaire: I guess that means that all we can do is glare
Jehan: (quietly) he does have a point
Combeferre: (almost equally quiet) You always glare when others talk of their love life
Enjolras: I have no desire to speak of my love life, it is all of you who want to make something private, public
Jehan: He has a point with that too
Grantaire: Don't listen to him boys! I say that from this day on we shall have no more rigid glares or piercing stares from our fearless leader! I say we stop his oppression! Who's with me?
Me: Grantaire, we don't have time for this
Courfeyrac: She's right, Enjolras still has to kiss Eponine.
Enjolras: But, we just did this!
Me: But there are going to be children watching this movie!
Enjolras: You are exaggerating
Me: Really? Let's go to the tape then!
Enjolras: No! That will not be necessary
Grantaire: Actually, I think we should see it.
Enjolras: That tape is being deleted
Javert: No, if I must I will have to take the tape into custody as evidence
Enjolras: Evidence for what?!
Javert: Gallivanting around with a minor!
Eponine: Am not!
Me: No, I'm keeping this tape
Courfeyrac: I'll pay you for it, please, at least give us a copy of it!
Grantaire: We need proof that our chaste leader isn't quite so chaste!
Enjolras: I am too!
Eponine: Truth be told Enjolras, it wasn't quite so chaste in my book!
Enjolras: Eponine! ::Enjolras was getting even closer to being red now::
Eponine: But Enjy, it's the truth! Can we just, um, finish this conversation so that we can- ::whispers in Enjolras's ear::
Enjolras: (who is quite red and flustered by now) Oh my!
Combeferre: I have never seen him so-
Grantaire: Completely out of it!
Combeferre: I guess it is quite wasteful to stay chaste for the republic when we aren't really even in France anymore.
Grantaire: Yes, quite wasteful indeed. But still, it's Enjolras, I never even knew that he had those thoughts anywhere in his head!
Combeferre: He is human you know!
Grantaire: I refuse to believe that! Our statue has taken to life and he is quite the little womanizer
Enjolras: I would never-
Grantaire: Oh, give it up, we all saw you, that was no innocent kiss!
Enjolras: Like you would know what an innocent kiss was!
Grantaire: Touché!
Me: Okay, now everyone back in his or her places, the campfire kiss again, and remember, children will be watching!
Enjolras: I am never going to live this down
Eponine: Is that really so bad?
Enjolras: No, my lady, it is your mouth that has me hypnotized. ::He leans towards her slowly, they kiss, modestly of course, because, well, there ARE children watching! The amis/gypsies laugh (it is in the script) and the two break apart. Though instead of Eponine blushing as was in the script, it was Enjolras who was the redder of the two::
Me: Okay cut!
Enjolras: Okay, fine, um, can we have a break?
Me: Just one more short scene. Now the gypsies gave you a horse and you two ride back to the manor.
Enjolras: (helping Eponine onto the horse) After you.
Eponine: Thank you
Grantaire: This is so sweet it's sickening, I think I'm going to throw up
Joly: You can say that again.
Me: Now you ride back to the manor
Enjolras: You mean that there is only one horse?
Me: Yes, now get on!
Enjolras: Oh, I guess, if I must…::gets on horse, Eponine puts her arms around his waste:: What the-
Me: It's in the script!
Enjolras: Oh, give me strength!
Grantaire: To resist her temptations
Enjolras: I did not say that
Grantaire: But you meant it
Me: Okay, now ride to the manor and now you get off the horse Enjolras.
Enjolras: Well, then that was pointless ::he moves to get off the horse but he can't:: Um, Eponine, I have to get off the horse now
Eponine: But Enjy, I like it this way
Enjolras: Well, I agree with that Eponine ::he smiles, she swoons:: But, after the scene we can have a break-
Eponine: Enough said!
::Enjolras gets off horse, lifts Eponine off horse::
Enjolras: You saved my life back there you know.
Eponine: A girl does what she can sire
Enjolras: Henry.
Eponine: Henry … ::yet another kiss::
Enjolras: Do you know the ruins at Amboise?
Eponine: Yes
Enjolras: Will you meet me there tomorrow?
Eponine: I shall try
Enjolras: Then I will wait all day ::Eponine walks to her house, Enjolras leaves::
Me: One more tiny scene. The setting is in the castle, Henry comes back to the castle and flings open the curtains of his parents room.
Fantine: Oh wait, if I'm the queen and Javert is the king and we are in our room, in our bed...
Javert: Oh, no, I will not, I will not be in bed with a prostitute!
Fantine: Hey, I don't do that anymore, I mean, I was desperate!
Javert: I have a reputation to uphold, think of what the prefect would say!
Fantine: I have put all of that behind me!
Javert: But then the boy has gone against all of his beliefs
Enjolras: I still have my beliefs!
Javert: Then why are you out gallivanting with the-
Eponine: Street harlot, yes we know, shut up!
Me: Here we go again…
Valjean: Javert, let's not get into this!
Javert: Well, just because the boy has become a womanizer does not mean that I am going to get into bed with a prostitute!
Enjolras: I am not a womanizer!
Me: Javert, do the scene!
Javert: Oh, the prefect will have my head ::he reluctantly gets into the bed with Fantine, nearly falling off his edge for trying to stay away from her::
Me: Good boy!
Javert: I am not a dog
Eponine: Well,-
Azelma: Eponine! He is in a bad enough mood as it is!
Me: Do the scene and you can have a break afterwards
Eponine: My lips are sealed
Grantaire: For the moment being anyway ::he was rewarded with a glare from Enjolras and an elbow from Combeferre, though the rest of the amis had to hide their laughter::
::Enjolras opens the curtains::
Javert: (sleepily) Off…with…his…head
Fantine: Wake up Francis, our son has something to tell us Ewww, Javert's son, that would be a sight
Enjolras: I want to build a university where anyone can study no matter what the rank.
Javert: All right, who are you and what have you done with our son?
Enjolras: And I want to invite the gypsies to the ball.
Me: Okay, now you have a break
Eponine: Finally! Enjolras, could you um, help me with my costume?
Enjolras: (turning red, and just after his normal color had returned) Well, I mean, your costume-
Eponine: Just come on ::he follows as the others look after him laughing::
Grantaire: Oh, I am ashamed
Combeferre: It is utterly astonishing
Me: Don't forget, it's only a fifteen-minute break!
Grantaire: He's waited a long time for this
Combeferre: Oh, I'd be surprised if he did anymore than what we've seen so far
Courfeyrac: But if you had been waiting 24 years, well, I never knew how he did it
Me: Ugh, men!
Courfeyrac: If those walls could talk
Grantaire: You're insane, Enjolras is going to be chaste until the day he dies
Marius: Tell that to Eponine
Combeferre: Do we have nothing better to do than gossip like silly schoolgirls about Enjolras's love life?
Bossuet: Truthfully? No!
Enjolras: ::coming out disheveled:: Where is a republic to stay chaste for when you need one?
Eponine: ::coming out a bit more calm:: Do you really want to stay chaste all your life?
Enjolras: I'm not completely insane if that's what you're asking
Eponine: Wait, I have an idea ::she goes to Grantaire:: Can I borrow your watch?
Grantaire: Anything for a lady
Eponine: Thank you! Okay Enjolras, now stare at the swinging watch
Enjolras: I don't know what you're trying to do but-
Eponine: Just watch it! You're getting sleepy, very sleepy ::Enjolras eventually falls into a stupor:: From now on you will not be so stuffy, or chaste or concerned with decency or the such. And you will only return to normal when I say the words, um, let's see, Liberty, Equality and Fraternity! Now when I snap my fingers you will wake up ::she snaps her fingers, Enjolras wakes up::
Enjolras: I tell you it is not going to work
Eponine: If you say so Enjolras…
Enjolras: By Rousseau, you are gorgeous!
Azelma: I think it worked
Enjolras: I have never seen such an exquisitely stunning creature in all my life!
Eponine: (Smiling) Would you like to go backstage with me?
Enjolras: More than anything ::They leave, walking backstage::
Combeferre: I cannot think that this is a good idea
Feuilly: This cannot be good
Bossuet: Only something bad can come of this
Me: Twenty five minutes and that's it you two!
Grantaire: I cannot believe this…
Twenty five minutes later
Me: Break's over!
::Enjolras and Eponine emerge from backstage, a little wobbly on their feet::
Bossuet: Look at him
Combeferre: His pants are wrinkled
Courfeyrac: His shirt's undone
Feuilly: His vest is inside out
Bahorel: His tie is around his forehead!
Grantaire: Didn't he go backstage in his prince costume?
Azelma: But Eponine looks happy…
Cosette: And her clothes are on right
Me: But, well, she was wearing the blue dress, and now she's wearing the servant dress
Eponine: I, um changed for the next scene
Grantaire: Sure you did
Eponine: Hey, what we do on our own time is our business! Isn't that right Enjy?
Enjolras: ::Who looks as if he doesn't even know where he is:: What? Yes! We do what we want, down with oppression. Huzzah! ::He sits down with Grantaire:: Ah, absinthe, may I?
Grantaire: (who looks positively horrified) Enjolras, this is liquor, it will intoxicate you! You will not be clear-headed!
Enjolras: I am not clear headed as it is and I have already been intoxicated. ::he looks at Eponine who smiles back:: Why didn't any of you tell me what I was missing? ::He takes a large gulp from the bottle:: Ah, green fairy-
Grantaire: Have you gone insane?
Enjolras: No, I was insane before. You all new what I was missing and you never told me! I should deck you right here!
Grantaire: He's insane!
Combeferre: May mercy come to us all!
Courfeyrac: It's Armageddon!
Feuilly: Eponine, what have you done?
Grantaire: You've turned him into a monster
Eponine: I like him like this, you wouldn't understand.
Enjolras: When is our next break?
Grantaire: Ugh, stop leering at Eponine!
Me: You have to change back into your prince costume.
Enjolras: Oh, I'm not wearing it? ::he looks down:: Oh, it seems I am not
Me: Go change!
Enjolras: Eponine, would you like to help me?
Eponine: But of course!
Me: Hey, you have only 15 minutes!
Eponine: But that's not enough time!
Javert: ::shudders:: WAY too much information.
Gavroche: Just because you haven't gotten any in a while-
Javert: And what would you know of it?!
Gavroche: It's me who runs this town, I know everything!
Eponine: Come on Enjy!
Enjolras: I think you should call me by my first name
Eponine: Oh, I'd love to! What is it?
Enjolras: It's- ::But of course there was an interruption, a feminine scream actually, from the direction of where Cosette and Marius were::
Valjean: Cosette, what's wrong?!
Cosette: It wasn't me papa, it was Marius.
Marius: There was a bee…?
Cosette: That's my line!
Javert: The boy screams like a girl, ha!
Marius: Javert, you're so mean!
Cosette: Leave my Marius alone!
Me: Hey, where did Eponine and Enjolras go?
Grantaire: They're probably 'changing into their costumes', ha, sure, I believe that.
Combeferre: When Enjolras wakes up and is restored to his regular self, he is not going to be happy.
Grantaire: Au contraire, I think he is going to be VERY happy!
Me: They have 15 minutes!
Valjean: Oh, it's young love, let them be.
Me: They are in the middle of a movie!
Grantaire: Well, you could tape them and make it the wedding night scene
Combeferre: Grantaire! Enjolras would strangle all of us with his bare hands.
Courfeyrac: But Grantaire first.
Joly: Hypnosis isn't real!
Combeferre: If it isn't then Enjolras really has gone insane
Feuilly: Maybe he's like Jekyll and Hyde…
Joly: He does not have split personalities
Grantaire: If he did then he hid the other one very well.
Jehan: I'm scared
Bossuet: It is rather disconcerting
Bahorel: If Enjolras can become a womanizing alcoholic then there is nothing in the world we can count on
Courfeyrac: Why that means that one day Grantaire could decide to stay sober.
Grantaire: Hey, I could if I wanted to!
Bossuet: Prove it!
Grantaire: I renounce alcohol for the day!
Joly: We'll see, I doubt that it is humanly possible for someone who consumes so much alcohol to just give it up
Grantaire: I'll drink something else. What is that clear non-alcoholic liquid many people drink?
Azelma: Water?
Grantaire: That's it!
Me: You could try coffee
Grantaire: Ugh, never, that stuff'll kill ya!
Azelma: Try some ::he does::
Grantaire: It does nothing for me, but boy am I awake!
Me: It's been fifteen minutes, someone go get them!
Combeferre: I'm not going back there
Courfeyrac: Enjolras would kill us
Feuilly: And eww
Bossuet: Let's wait until there done
Bahorel: Enjolras would be furious
Azelma: I'm too young to go back there
Marius: I don't want Cosette to go anywhere near them
Cosette: And I don't want Marius to go, you know how Eponine is like!
Courfeyrac: I think he is the last thing in her mind right now.
Javert: Well, I certainly won't go
Fantine: I would go, but it wouldn't be a very proper thing to do
Valjean: That is about the last thing I need at my age
Gavroche: She's my sister!
Me: Grantaire?
Grantaire: I'd go, but this coffee, why it's amazing ::drinks another glass down::
Montparnasse: I'll go!
Me: I so do not trust you!
Courfeyrac: Enjolras would kill you
Montparnasse: Fine, then you go.
Me: Maybe we should just wait…
One hour later
Me: This is ridiculous, we're wasting so much time
Valjean: Let's have some lunch
Combeferre: I could go for some pizza
Bahorel: I want burgers
Javert: I want Chinese food
Bossuet: Fried chicken!
Me: We might as well order everything, find the yellow pages
20 minutes or less later
Javert: Pass the chicken
Gavroche: I want an egg roll
Courfeyrac: Now this is pizza
Valjean: Pass the French fries
Joly: I need ketchup!
Grantaire: We're out of coffee!
Thirty minutes after that
Valjean: Now I'm just bored
Javert: What could be taking so long?
Gavroche: Told you he hasn't gotten any in a looooooooong time!
Two hours later
Me: This is impossible, I'm going back there! But I want someone to come with me…
Grantaire: I'll go, let me just get another cup o' joe
Me: I am a little afraid
Grantaire: We'll warn them that we're coming by singing really loud
Me: Okay, song preference?
Grantaire: Any drinking song is good with me
Me: I don't know any
Grantaire: How about 99 bottles of beer on the wall?
Me: No!!! We'll sing, oh, something from the new Jane Eyre musical!
Grantaire: You are not going to make us perform that, are you?
Me: For now, no, but you never know.
::We sing Sirens quite loudly and badly::
Grantaire: You know that isn't a bad song
Me: I know, It's superb!
Grantaire: Hello?! ::knocking on door::
Enjolras: Is there something you wanted? ::rubbing his head::
Me: Oh good, you're here
Grantaire: And dressed
Me: You know, we were wondering if you would just finish the movie? There aren't a whole lot of scenes left…
Enjolras: Very well, I'm coming
Grantaire: So Enjolras,-
Enjolras: Not a word Grantaire!
Me: Where's Eponine?
Enjolras: Well…
Me: Did something happen?
Grantaire: Of course something happened, they were gone for over three hours
Enjolras: No, well, yes, oh, my head hurts
Grantaire: Here, try this coffee, it's marvelous
Enjolras: Grantaire, are you sober?
Grantaire: Sober as the day I was born
Enjolras: Utterly incredible
Eponine: ::emerging from somewhere or other:: We were wondering if you would ever look for us
Me: You've been gone over three hours
Eponine: That's not my fault
Me: You two didn't………?
Eponine: No.
Grantaire: Then why were you gone so long?
Eponine: Grantaire, are you sober?
Grantaire: Sober as a man realizing he is dead
Eponine: Utterly incredible
Me: So why were you gone so long?
Eponine: Well, we were kissing and I accidentally said Liberty, Equality and Fraternity
Grantaire: How in the world did that come out?
Eponine: You don't want to know…
Me: So then what took so long?
Eponine: He is quite embarrassed of how he acted and does not want to show his face
Me: Oh, poor boy
Eponine: And it seems that he does not hold his liquor well
Grantaire: What a surprise…
Enjolras: Yes, all right, let's get on with this…
Eponine: Can I borrow your watch again Grantaire?
Grantaire: Of course, but I don't know if that is a good idea
Eponine: Oh, we'll see. I'll do it later, thanks Grantaire!
Grantaire: Anything for a lady…
Me: Okay, now that we are all back to work, Danielle wakes up but she is very tired because she was out so late with Henry. And then Danielle finds her mother and Marguerite trying on Danielle's mothers dress.
Eponine: What do you think you are doing?
Cosette: Trying on my dress for the ball
Eponine: This is my mother's dress, these are my mother's shoes
Cosette: Yes, and she's dead Oh, I am so very mean!!!
Me: Okay, now you are really angry and you punch her
Eponine: I'm having mixed feelings about this, I do want to punch Cosette but I'm over Marius and Enjolras has made me happy so I don't really feel the need.
Me: That's good because we are using trick photography
Eponine: Darn!
Me: Okay, you punch her she flips over the bed, you say you are going to rip her hair out, she runs away. She grabs your copy of Utopia
Enjolras: Utopia…
Me: And she threatens to throw it into the fireplace unless you give up the shoes. You do but Marguerite throws the book into the fire anyway
Cosette: I'm so mean!
Marius: It's okay honey, it's not real.
Cosette: Still….
Me: And then the Baroness whips you
Mme. Thenardier: I would never, well, maybe the lark, but not my own daughter.
Me: But in the movie she's your stepdaughter. Anyway, then we see Jacqueline and Danielle bond
Azelma: Huzzah, I actually get lines!
Me: Because she helps Danielle dress her wounds. Then she goes to meet Henry at Amboise
Courfeyrac: Am I the only one wondering what happened backstage?
Grantaire: Our poor boy didn't get any in all those three hours…
Bahorel: Poor Enjolras…
Grantaire: But Eponine is going to try hypnotizing him again
Combeferre: I still do not know how the three ideals of the French Revolution were mentioned while they were kissing…
Grantaire: It's Enjolras, would you expect any less?
Jehan: You have a point
Me: Okay, they're at Amboise and Danielle tries to tell Henry that she is a servant but cannot because she realizes that she loves him
Fantine: Oh, how sweet
Me: But then when he kisses her…
Enjolras: If we must ::they do as I have said::
Me: But Henry puts his arms around Danielle and she cries out because of all her wounds and she runs away. When she returns home the Baroness locks Danielle in the cellar, because they realize that she was seeing the prince
Cosette: More meanness!
Me: And the queen tells Henry that 'Comtesse Nicole de Lancret' is engaged to a Belgium.
Cosette: Oh, how evil!
Me: And so it's the night of the ball and Henry is all sad. Danielle is let out of the cellar by Leonardo da Vinci and she dresses in her mother's dress and shoes. Leonardo makes her wings for her dress and tells her to got o the ball and tell Henry the truth. So everyone, go mingle!
Grantaire: You know Azelma, we're supposed to be in love
Azelma: How's your coffee?
Grantaire: Black, but oh, it does a body good!
Me: And now the king begins to make the announcement of Henry's marriage, and here comes Danielle
Javert: Finally some lines…..
Me: But Henry sees Danielle and stops his father and runs to her
Enjolras: My mother said you were getting married
Eponine: She was misinformed, but there is something I must tell you before another word is spoken
Enjolras: So then you're not engaged
Eponine: No.
Enjolras: Come, I want you to meet my parents
Eponine: Wait, I really must-
Enjolras: Look, I invited the gypsies to the ball
Me: Now the Baroness saw this whole thing and she wants to put a stop to it. She rips off one of Danielle's wings and denounces her
Eponine: Nicole de Lancret was my mother, I am what she says
Enjolras: The apple? That was you?
Eponine: I can explain
Javert: Well someone had better! Tell me quickly what's the story-
Enjolras: First you are engaged and now you are a servant? I have heard enough
Eponine: Henry, please-
Me: Now everyone gasp, because a servant just called the prince of France by his first name.
All: Gasp!
Enjolras: You will not address me so informal madam. I am a prince of France and you are just like them.
Me: And Danielle runs out crying and she loses one of her shoes and da Vinci picks it up and confronts Henry and they have a fight and Leonardo leaves the shoe for Henry to think about…
Eponine: Enjolras?
Enjolras: Yes Eponine? ::she swings the watch and before he realizes it he is in a stupor again::
Javert: Oh, here we go again
Cosette: If you like Enjolras so much I don't see why you have to keep hypnotizing him…
Eponine: Now, you will stop being so bashful and stuffy and decent again, got it. And you shall only come out of it when I say the words 'I'm so happy for you and Cosette, Marius' ::she snaps her fingers he wakes::
Cosette: So in other words, she is never going to let him out of his trance
Enjolras: Oh, what happened? There you are my beauty ::he pulls Eponine to him and begins to kiss her shamelessly::
Combeferre: Now I've seen everything
Enjolras: May we have another break?
Me: No! No more breaks!
Enjolras: But we have to change our costumes!
Grantaire: They've got you on a technicality
Me: Darn it! Fine, ten minutes!!! I swear, if you take 3 hours again-
Eponine: We won't, we have all night once the movie is finished
Jehan: Is anyone else scared?
Combeferre: I am
Grantaire: I think we all are…
Ten minutes later Me: Your time is up, come out with your hands up!
Grantaire: Is it just me or isn't Enjolras supposed to be wearing a shirt?
Cosette: Oh my!
Marius: ::covering Cosette's eyes:: Enjolras!!!
Enjolras: Oh my, let me just, okay, there, I am fully dressed!
Combeferre: Heaven help us!
Me: I am seriously disturbed
Combeferre: I do not like the turn that this has taken
Courfeyrac: I agree
Jehan: Extremely disturbing
Grantaire: I'm going to have nightmares about this
Eponine: You're all just jealous!
Combeferre: Oh, of course
Grantaire: Jealous
Courfeyrac: Of you
Feuilly: And him
Grantaire: Ha!
Enjolras: Must you mock everything my darling says?
Javert: Ugh, Now he sounds like the other annoying one!
Marius: My name is Marius! ::Javert and Valjean burst out laughing, they just can not help themselves::
Cosette: Papa!
Valjean: I'm sorry darling, I didn't mean it, it's all Javert's fault.
Javert: Yes, blame everything on me
Me: Let's just do the next scene!
Enjolras: Yes, let's, the sooner we are done…
Eponine: You read my mind…
Joly: Eww, I'm going to be sick!!!
Me: ::shudders:: Anyway, Danielle is working in the field and the Baroness comes and they fight and the Baroness tells Danielle that she never loved her and then the Baroness sells her to LePieu.
Cosette: Wow, that's really mean!
Eponine: You can say that again
Javert: (to Marius) Don't you even dare!
Marius: I'm not that annoying. Why do so many people think that I'm stupid?
Javert: Well-
Valjean: Don't you dare be mean to my son-in-law!
Javert: Well, he just makes it so easy!
Me: People please!!! Ok and now Enjolras is in the church, about to be married to the Spanish Princess
Musichetta: I can't believe I actually have a part!
Enjolras: I don't understand, why would I be getting married to the Spanish princess if I love Eponine? Sorry Musichetta, but just look at Eponine, she is amazing!
Eponine: Oh Enjy, you're so sweet!
Musichetta: No offense taken. (to Joly) They really are making me sick
Grantaire: I know it's scary
Me: Okay, so cue the music and Musichetta, start crying
Musichetta: Can do!
Me: And Enjolras, look unhappy and a bit confused
Enjolras: How can I be unhappy when I am near an angel?
Me: If you two don't stop I'll make Eponine leave!
Enjolras: Oh, but that would be cruel and unusual punishment…
Eponine: He's so much sweeter this way
Grantaire: Sweeter? He's a pig!
Eponine: No, he's so romantic
Grantaire: He's a liar, he's not really that charming
Me: Okay, and when Musichetta gets there Enjolras, realize how stupid this situation is and start laughing. Then tell her that she can marry her true love because you need to go find yours. But you find out Danielle has been sold and leave to go find her.
Cosette: (To Mme. Thenardier) You're really mean ::Mme. Thenardier hisses at Cosette and Cosette steps back frightened::
Valjean: Now we'll have none of that!
Me: And so then we see Danielle at LePieu's and she's in chains carrying some swords to him
Montparnasse: En-ter
Eponine: Parnasse, you're bald!
Montparnasse: It's just a special effect Ponine
Eponine: Good, I was worried for a moment
Me: Anyway, Le Pieu wants Danielle and he touches her hair
Eponine: You will keep your distance sir.
Me: And he tries to kiss you
Enjolras: Never, try and I will cut off your tongue scoundrel!
Eponine: Enjolras, it's okay, it's just acting
Enjolras: But Eponine, I don't want him touching you
Eponine: Silly boy, if Parnasse tries anything I will tell you and then you can beat him up, okay?
Enjolras: (to Montparnasse) Come on punk, make my day…
Me: But she grabs his dagger and cuts his face and then gets the key from him and leaves the castle ::They do the scene::
Enjolras: That was all a bit too realistic for my tastes
Eponine: He's kind of possessive, ain't he?
Azelma: Maybe it's just the hypnotizing
Joly: You can't hypnotize someone to do anything they truly do not want to do. Everything that a hypnotized person does is just an acute show of how they really feel.
Marius: Duh…
Grantaire: No, I refuse to believe that Apollo is really a boozing, possessive womanizer under the surface
Joly: I agree Grantaire, but studies show…
Eponine: So maybe I can bring out the wild side of Enjolras without hypnotism?
Grantaire: Fat chance!
Cosette: It would be better than having to hypnotize him whenever you wanted some.
Marius and Valjean: Cosette!
Cosette: Papa, I'm married, I think I know what I'm talking about. And I mean, Marius, get over it!
Me: More power to you Cosette!
Cosette: What?
Me: Nothing. And so we have a joyous reunion in which Henry apologizes for acting like such a bad person and asks Danielle to marry him.
Enjolras: But I would feel like a king if you, Danielle de Barbarac would be my wife.
Me: He puts the shoe on her foot and then she jumps into his arms and he spins her around and she kisses him many times
Eponine: Oh, what fun!
Joly: If I was spun around like that I think I would get sick.
Me: And then there's another scene where Laurent tells the Baroness and Marguerite to go to the palace.
Enjolras: Is this movie almost over?
Me: Almost! And then they come and they think Henry is going to pick Marguerite but he doesn't and they get sentenced to being servants.
Eponine: I want you to know that from this moment on…(etc)
Me: And the last scene is where Valjean shows Eponine the painting he made and they kiss and Enjolras and Eponine live happily ever after!!!
Azelma: Huzzah, it's over!!!
Enjolras: Finally
Eponine: We're going to go now…
Enjolras: Definitely.
Me: Fine go, you guys are so nauseating!!!
Grantaire: Wait, this cannot go on, Eponine, you have to unhypnotize him!
Eponine: No! I like him like this!
Combeferre: But it isn't right
Eponine: But if I unhypnotize him he won't be as wildly cool!
Courfeyrac: Come on Eponine…
Cosette: You can work with him and make him come out of his shell
Grantaire: I don't think Enjolras was ever in a shell…
Eponine: And that would mean I would have to tell Marius and Cosette that I was happy for them!
Marius: Eponine!
Eponine: Fine, you are all so mean, you never let me have any fun!!! Here it goes, ahem, 'I'm so happy for you and (gulp) Cosette, Marius'
Cosette: Well thank you Eponine.
Enjolras: What? What happened? Oh no, not again…
Grantaire: Good morning Enjolras.
Enjolras: Oh no…
Eponine: Enjolras, I swear-
Enjolras: I remember everything
Joly: Uh oh…
Combeferre: This is not going to be a pretty sight
Enjolras: I can't believe what you did!
Eponine: Enjolras, I-
Enjolras: I can't believe what I did!
Eponine: Enjolras, you-
Enjolras: I can't believe what WE did!
Eponine: It's not that big a deal Enjolras!
Enjolras: Well then there's only one thing to be done
Grantaire: I have a bad feeling about this…
Enjolras: Eponine, would you do me the honor of being my wife?
Me: Oh dear……