The man sunk to his knees in the dirt and grime where he had stood. Salty
tears ran down his cheeks and landed on his hands, placed on the floor to
steady himself. He gave way to a sob that sounded almost like a howl, one
of mourning and pain. Someone rushed over to him, placed a solid hand on
his shoulder, and sniffed as well.
"Remus. Remus?" No answer. Simply another howl of anguish. Lupin tore away from the comforting hand and fled the room, not being able to bear staying in the room that it had ended in.
********************
A month later, Remus Lupin was still residing in His old house, hardly even able to move. He lay in bed most of the time, or looked after Buckbeak, but he wasn't able to do that for long, because just the presence of the hippogriff reminded him terribly of the one he had lost. The other members of the Order tried to comfort him, but it was to no avail. Nothing and no one could reverse what had happened. Sirius was dead, and there was no mistaking it.
Suddenly the werewolf jumped from his bed. He tore through the small library in the house, and upon finding nothing as to the sort that he was looking for, in this case something to bring back the dead, he stopped. His heart caught in his throat and he Disapparated from the house with a loud 'pop' sound. He Apparated in Hogsmeade, and began the walk up to Hogwarts. Entering the premises that was so familiar to him, he looked around. Yes, it was here that he had taught two years ago, and here that he himself had gone to school. He glanced at the Whomping Willow in the distance. He strode up to the tall oak doors and went inside, going directly to the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore seemed to be aware of Lupin's presence in the school, because the moment he stepped before the gargoyle guarding the stairs to the office, it jumped out of his way. He went up the spiral staircase and entered Dumbledore's office, to find him sitting at his desk with his hands folded together. Dumbledore nodded to a chintz armchair, to which Lupin retreated.
"Well Remus, I knew your visit would be inevitable, but I had expected it to happen sooner." The Headmaster spoke softly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Remus said nothing in response, but looked down at his lap, then looked back up again, hope in his eyes.
"Albus." Lupin began quietly. "Is there. any way?" He fought back the urge to burst into tears and bit his lip. Dumbledore shook his head silently.
"We have all looked and looked for any possibilities, but unless you want Sirius-" At this Lupin flinched and wiped his eyes, but Dumbledore continued on. "Unless you want him other than a zombie or some other foul reincarnation, I am afraid there is nothing we can do." Lupin put his face in his hands, still biting back tears.
"Well, thank you all for what you have done." Lupin got up slowly and retreated from the office, Dumbledore watching carefully after him.
******************* Once more, Lupin stood in the very room in the Department of Mysteries. He stood right where it happened. Sobbing uncontrollably now, he slowly reached a hand inside his robes. He didn't want to exist any more, he didn't want to live life on a planet without Sirius. At least in death, he would be with Sirius again. Lupin withdrew his wand from his robes, gradually lifting it. He rested the tip of his wand against his temple. This was it. He would be with Sirius after this. He tried to find the words he wanted, but his mouth hung slack, and before he could mutter the spell that would end his life, something stopped him.
"Remus, don't do it!" A cry echoed around the room. Lupin quickly got to his feet, looking around the room wildly for the source of the noise. He turned back to the arch that he had been facing, and jumped in surprise. Standing there before him was Sirius, a tear's path clearly marked on his otherwise handsome face.
"S-sirius?" Lupin half-smiled through his tears as Sirius nodded. "Sirius. I've missed you so much. I wish you could come back. I know you'll be gone soon." Sirius grinned and shook his head. Lupin tilted his head to the side in questioning. Sirius answered by stepping forward onto the dais that held the arch. Lupin gaped, too stunned to do anything.
"Remus, do you really think I'm killed that easily?" He paused. "Well, to tell the truth, I was. But because of you, I am able to return. You want to know how?" Lupin nodded. "You may not have known what you were doing, but you did exactly what was required to bring a person back through this arch to join the land of the living. You were going to kill yourself just to be with me again, and lucky for you, you chose to do it in the exact place I was before slipping through." Sirius snarled at the memory of his fight with Bellatrix Lestrange. Lupin took a step forward, a dawning look of comprehension coming over his face.
"You mean. you're really back?" Sirius laughed and hugged his old friend.
"Yes, Remus, I really am back." They looked at one another fondly, and Lupin broke away, jumping with joy and creating as much noise as he dared. Then he stopped, and looked at Sirius.
"How will we get you out of here? This is the Ministry of Magic, and they might think that you're dead, but they're certainly not going to forget your face quite so quickly." Sirius shrugged.
"Does it really matter? We can just insist that I bear a striking-- and unfortunate-resemblance to the deceased Sirius Black. We'll just leave as quickly as possible." Lupin nodded, smiling as he hadn't for weeks.
"Remus. Remus?" No answer. Simply another howl of anguish. Lupin tore away from the comforting hand and fled the room, not being able to bear staying in the room that it had ended in.
********************
A month later, Remus Lupin was still residing in His old house, hardly even able to move. He lay in bed most of the time, or looked after Buckbeak, but he wasn't able to do that for long, because just the presence of the hippogriff reminded him terribly of the one he had lost. The other members of the Order tried to comfort him, but it was to no avail. Nothing and no one could reverse what had happened. Sirius was dead, and there was no mistaking it.
Suddenly the werewolf jumped from his bed. He tore through the small library in the house, and upon finding nothing as to the sort that he was looking for, in this case something to bring back the dead, he stopped. His heart caught in his throat and he Disapparated from the house with a loud 'pop' sound. He Apparated in Hogsmeade, and began the walk up to Hogwarts. Entering the premises that was so familiar to him, he looked around. Yes, it was here that he had taught two years ago, and here that he himself had gone to school. He glanced at the Whomping Willow in the distance. He strode up to the tall oak doors and went inside, going directly to the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore seemed to be aware of Lupin's presence in the school, because the moment he stepped before the gargoyle guarding the stairs to the office, it jumped out of his way. He went up the spiral staircase and entered Dumbledore's office, to find him sitting at his desk with his hands folded together. Dumbledore nodded to a chintz armchair, to which Lupin retreated.
"Well Remus, I knew your visit would be inevitable, but I had expected it to happen sooner." The Headmaster spoke softly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Remus said nothing in response, but looked down at his lap, then looked back up again, hope in his eyes.
"Albus." Lupin began quietly. "Is there. any way?" He fought back the urge to burst into tears and bit his lip. Dumbledore shook his head silently.
"We have all looked and looked for any possibilities, but unless you want Sirius-" At this Lupin flinched and wiped his eyes, but Dumbledore continued on. "Unless you want him other than a zombie or some other foul reincarnation, I am afraid there is nothing we can do." Lupin put his face in his hands, still biting back tears.
"Well, thank you all for what you have done." Lupin got up slowly and retreated from the office, Dumbledore watching carefully after him.
******************* Once more, Lupin stood in the very room in the Department of Mysteries. He stood right where it happened. Sobbing uncontrollably now, he slowly reached a hand inside his robes. He didn't want to exist any more, he didn't want to live life on a planet without Sirius. At least in death, he would be with Sirius again. Lupin withdrew his wand from his robes, gradually lifting it. He rested the tip of his wand against his temple. This was it. He would be with Sirius after this. He tried to find the words he wanted, but his mouth hung slack, and before he could mutter the spell that would end his life, something stopped him.
"Remus, don't do it!" A cry echoed around the room. Lupin quickly got to his feet, looking around the room wildly for the source of the noise. He turned back to the arch that he had been facing, and jumped in surprise. Standing there before him was Sirius, a tear's path clearly marked on his otherwise handsome face.
"S-sirius?" Lupin half-smiled through his tears as Sirius nodded. "Sirius. I've missed you so much. I wish you could come back. I know you'll be gone soon." Sirius grinned and shook his head. Lupin tilted his head to the side in questioning. Sirius answered by stepping forward onto the dais that held the arch. Lupin gaped, too stunned to do anything.
"Remus, do you really think I'm killed that easily?" He paused. "Well, to tell the truth, I was. But because of you, I am able to return. You want to know how?" Lupin nodded. "You may not have known what you were doing, but you did exactly what was required to bring a person back through this arch to join the land of the living. You were going to kill yourself just to be with me again, and lucky for you, you chose to do it in the exact place I was before slipping through." Sirius snarled at the memory of his fight with Bellatrix Lestrange. Lupin took a step forward, a dawning look of comprehension coming over his face.
"You mean. you're really back?" Sirius laughed and hugged his old friend.
"Yes, Remus, I really am back." They looked at one another fondly, and Lupin broke away, jumping with joy and creating as much noise as he dared. Then he stopped, and looked at Sirius.
"How will we get you out of here? This is the Ministry of Magic, and they might think that you're dead, but they're certainly not going to forget your face quite so quickly." Sirius shrugged.
"Does it really matter? We can just insist that I bear a striking-- and unfortunate-resemblance to the deceased Sirius Black. We'll just leave as quickly as possible." Lupin nodded, smiling as he hadn't for weeks.