Voldemort-

I hate you and I hope you die soon. It's just a shame I didn't get to kill you. See you in hell.

-Sirius Black

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Dearest Beaky:

I think I'm drunk now-- since I am damn sure you cannot read. But that's not the point now, is it? I felt like I should thank you (even though you'll never know because you cannot read) for being such a wonderful hippogriff. I've always wanted a hippogriff actually......... I've always wanted one... and I still don't have one seeing as how I stole you.....

Good thing I'm dead now, or I'd be in big trouble for having a stolen hippogriff in the middle of London...

-Padfoot

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Dear Professor McGonagall,

Since I'm dead and I can't have that thin lipped expression burned into my memory, I want to apologize on behalf of the Marauders for the following pranks:

1: Burning down the Christmas trees
2: Dropping slug juice on first years
3: Letting loose stinkbugs in the Slytherin's dorms on a weekly basis.
4: Hiding that muggle whoopee-cushion in your seat
5: Taping different parts of spells over the ones you were using when you weren't looking – That was Remus' idea, believe it or not
6: Tricking naïve first years into going on hunting expeditions in the Forest.
7: Breaking into your Transfiguration office at the beginning of 7th year.
8: Always finding a way to turn things into a bird of prey when you forgot to set a limit on what type of bird.

You know, I think I'll stop with just these because if I apologised for everything, this would be 20 parchments long... So, anything else that you always needed some kind of proof to punish us for, yes I'm sure we did it, and I apologise.... Except for switching the Fat Lady's portrait with pictures from Playwizard – You know, I still get a good laugh thinking about the expression on your face when you saw that...

-Proud member of the Marauders,
Padfoot