THE KEEPER EXCHANGE

JK Rowling owns the characters from HARRY POTTER. I suppose Matt

Groening owns the characters from THE SIMPSONS...

"They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire

worlds...and we fall back. The line must be drawn HERE. This far,

NO further. And I will make them PAY FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE!"

-Patrick Stewart,STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT

1. HAGRID

"-and so,the upcoming book-banning meeting has been postponed until

the members of the committee actually read the books in question.

Also,it has come to my attention-"

"Booooooring..."

Skinner scowled,surveying the unaccountably dead faces in the

auditorium. Monday morning assembly tended to be like this. The

only reason he didn't see Bart Simpson-believe you me,he was

looking-was because Bart had slid out of his seat and was now

sitting on the floor. Two seats away,Ralph held up his dust-covered

fingers and said "The floor has leprosy!"

"On a lighter note," Skinner continued,"I'd like to introduce you

all to our guest. He came to us in an exchange program with a school

in Europe called Hogwarts...I'd just like to introduce you all to

Rubeus Hagrid..."

"Whoa," Bart said,looking through the gap between the chairs. "Hey,

Leese-"

Lisa was awestruck. "He's a giant,Bart."

"'Ello,kids," Hagrid said. He didn't need the microphone. "Nice ta

be here."

His accent made Lisa smile.

He sat back down without making a speech-like HE needed to make a

speech-and folded his hands in his lap.

Class couldn't pass fast enough. Bart barely heard Mrs. Krabappel

all day. When recess came,he dashed outside; there was no sign of

the gigantic man anywhere-

"Where is he,Bart?" Milhouse asked.

"Dunno," Bart said.

-but there was a new building,a big hut near the trees.

"He's living here?"

"You know he'll end up living at YOUR house," Nelson said.