A/N: All you need is love, love, love is all you need, love is all you need, love is all you need, love is all you need...The Beatles rock. \\// Peace
An all-together weird fic put together solely by the power of frozen mini M&Ms. My first attempt at humor. I mean, at least, out-right humor. Humor for humor's sake.
The Sinister Lair
All over the world, wizards and witches were in a panic.
On the front page of the Daily Prophet, large block letters proclaimed: DREAM TEAM KIDNAPED!
No one knew where they were. No one knew why they had been captured. No one knew who could do such a thing.
Except, of course, the guy who did it.
"Malfoy, I can't believe you are doing this!" Hermione screamed for about the seven millionth time that day. Draco sighed, turning around in his squeaky new leather chair. It matched the dark decor of his newly refurbished sinister lair perfectly.
"You better believe it, because it's happening as we speak." He said dryly, glancing at her in her shatterproof-glass box. Yes, those hadn't matched his black color scheme, but they were a good investment. If only they were soundproof...
"You can't keep us locked up here forever!" Harry raged, pounding his fists on the glass.
"Why would I want to?" Draco rolled his eyes. "Come on, you're supposed to be so logical, Chessmaster Ron, why do you think I've kidnaped you?"
"So you can force someone pretty to marry you?" Ron guessed, rubbing his chin.
"Ding-ding-ding, give the boy a prize!" Draco spun in his chair. "Soon, they will find the note. Soon, they will have to meet my demand. Soon they will-"
"Demand?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "You only made one? You really suck at this ransom thing."
"Well, no duh, it's my first time." Draco sighed. "Honestly, you three couldn't act any dumber if you changed your name to Britney Spears, badda-BUM!" He played an imaginary drum set before going on.
"I've got money, oh, tons of it. I've got fame, my daddy made sure of that." A dark look crossed his face. "Damn those Star-Search judges and their easy bribability! Damn them!" Shaking it off, he continued. "The only thing I'm missing-" Draco paused, posing. "Is someone to share it with."
"You kidnaped us so you could get a puppy?" Hermione cried.
"No!" Draco shouted. "A-"
"A kitten, then?" Ron guessed.
"Silence!" Draco screamed. He sat back down in his chair, squeaking noisily, and punched a button on the side of the chair.
The sound of raindrops and crickets filled the air. He turned his chair round, so he couldn't see them. Sighing, he sank further into his chair.
Yes, sometimes a man's best friend is his white-noise machine.
A/N: Just so you guys know, everything I've written so far will stay as I started it, with only book 4 references. (",)
An all-together weird fic put together solely by the power of frozen mini M&Ms. My first attempt at humor. I mean, at least, out-right humor. Humor for humor's sake.
The Sinister Lair
All over the world, wizards and witches were in a panic.
On the front page of the Daily Prophet, large block letters proclaimed: DREAM TEAM KIDNAPED!
No one knew where they were. No one knew why they had been captured. No one knew who could do such a thing.
Except, of course, the guy who did it.
"Malfoy, I can't believe you are doing this!" Hermione screamed for about the seven millionth time that day. Draco sighed, turning around in his squeaky new leather chair. It matched the dark decor of his newly refurbished sinister lair perfectly.
"You better believe it, because it's happening as we speak." He said dryly, glancing at her in her shatterproof-glass box. Yes, those hadn't matched his black color scheme, but they were a good investment. If only they were soundproof...
"You can't keep us locked up here forever!" Harry raged, pounding his fists on the glass.
"Why would I want to?" Draco rolled his eyes. "Come on, you're supposed to be so logical, Chessmaster Ron, why do you think I've kidnaped you?"
"So you can force someone pretty to marry you?" Ron guessed, rubbing his chin.
"Ding-ding-ding, give the boy a prize!" Draco spun in his chair. "Soon, they will find the note. Soon, they will have to meet my demand. Soon they will-"
"Demand?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "You only made one? You really suck at this ransom thing."
"Well, no duh, it's my first time." Draco sighed. "Honestly, you three couldn't act any dumber if you changed your name to Britney Spears, badda-BUM!" He played an imaginary drum set before going on.
"I've got money, oh, tons of it. I've got fame, my daddy made sure of that." A dark look crossed his face. "Damn those Star-Search judges and their easy bribability! Damn them!" Shaking it off, he continued. "The only thing I'm missing-" Draco paused, posing. "Is someone to share it with."
"You kidnaped us so you could get a puppy?" Hermione cried.
"No!" Draco shouted. "A-"
"A kitten, then?" Ron guessed.
"Silence!" Draco screamed. He sat back down in his chair, squeaking noisily, and punched a button on the side of the chair.
The sound of raindrops and crickets filled the air. He turned his chair round, so he couldn't see them. Sighing, he sank further into his chair.
Yes, sometimes a man's best friend is his white-noise machine.
A/N: Just so you guys know, everything I've written so far will stay as I started it, with only book 4 references. (",)