Author's Notes: First off, I plagarised Buffy the Vampire Slayer with this fic, or maybe I could say I was inspired to adapt the wonderful musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer into this fic, but really, I copied it ^^ Ha ha ha ha! Anyway, I was rewatching the musical episode of Buffy for the second time, and I suddenly WHAM! Saw Alucard singing Spike's lines ^0^ Not to mention Walter taking Giles' lines, and so on and so forth. Then I thought, why the bloody hell not?! MAKE A HELLSING MUSICAL! YATTA! And thus, through my demented and uninspiring mind that loves to copy things, I have made this Hellsing Musical! TRA LA LA LA LA! And also, it serves as a neat distraction from my otherwise stressful life -_-000
Um, as warning, the songs are made in script style to facilitate reading and if you want, to sing along. If you want to hear the real songs from the Buffy Musical, then I suggest you download them, they are quite nice to listen to, easy listening really, and absolutely hilarious if you ask me. The Giles song is the best, cause he sounds a bit like Walter ^^ IMO anyway, how Walter might sound like in real life.
Right, okay, another warning, I...am a AxS supporter, yes, I am. BUT, I have this kind of 'I-can-read-'em-but-really-can't-write-'em' thing going on for me, and the problem is that Alucard has to sing one particular song...well, you'll know when you read it. I doubt it'll be in this chapter, so you wait for a while (I'm writing this very quickly you know)
Okay, I think you're really pissed off with these damn notes right? FINE! Read on, and be forewarned for lunancy!
P.S. Pip is IN ^^!
P.P.S. REMEMBER! BROADWAY STYLE! NOT POP, NOT ROCK, NOT JAZZ, BROADWAY STYLE!
Unless otherwise stated.
Dusk was on London, the moon was high and full of tears of unknown rivers, the fog drifted and rolled amiably, giving a false whiteness to the darkness as they concealed criminals, hooligans, thieves and other assorted no-goodniks. Which was not to say THAT detered Celes from wondering aimlessly about in the dark park.
Actually, she wasn't really wondering aimlessly about in the dark park, per se, she was on a mission, ordered by Sir/Lady Integra!
To wonder aimlessly about in the dark park.
"Yaaaaaaa...!" she yawned, stretching both her hands up as she shouldered her Halconnen.
She was suppose to be patrolling the park, since there were a rash of abductions of, curiously enough, MALE virgins, whose bodies had been found in some area of the park, heartless. As in, heart cut out, but no bite mark, so, probably no vampires. Hopefully, Celes was pretty sure that the heart alone might be enough to satiate a vampire with exotic tastes.
Integra deduced that among other things, Celes was probably better suited for this mission, her abilities as a vampire, and the fact that whatever demon was out there was looking out for the opposite sex were winning points.
Naturally, Celes herself thought that her Master was probably a safer bet on demon vanquishing, after all, a Halconnen was not exactly handy at close range. Maybe she could swing it and hoped to knock their heads off, or ram them through, but that was messy. She hoped she could just fire a nice explosive round right into them.
But there was also the matter as to WHY she was not joined up with a squad, at least as emergency back-up, or to safeguard the perimeter. This matter, Sir Integra had so graciously explained that they could no risk anymore human soldiers, the new recruits were still in training, and the fact that if these demons were not powerful enough to cause anything spontaneous except kidnap guys on their first date, a lone vampire would probably be enough.
That got Celes grumbling about vampiric discrimination, about how she couldn't mingle with anyone (not that she would actually like to mingle with other vampires, beyond her Master {on second thought, he's not such a good example} and Helen, the vampires she had met were all bottomline, JERKS!), about how she felt she was being used more as an atomic bomb instead of being more of a soldier, and basically everything bad she could think of.
'At least tonight's assignment is marginally interesting', she thought as she walked through a gap between two large trees, 'The last few nights were just ghoul blasting,'
Once she passed through the gap, she heard a scream, a guy's high-pitched scream.
"Finally," she muttered, she was not in a particularly good mood, and destroying some vampires, or whatever, might prove interesting enough.
Running quickly, she saw clearly the three men, vampires as she saw by the light glinting off their red eyes and fangs, with one in some robes emblazoned with brown motifs, holding an obviously sacrifical knife. She raised her Halconnen to fire, only to see the human victim being tied to a tree, and one of the other two vampires ripping his shirt open to bare his chest.
"Damn," Celes muttered as she dropped her gun and ammo box, and prepared for close combat.
Ah yes, the other reason that Sir Integral had given, that considering Celes was drinking more blood, gradually, she should try to excel in fighting vampires hand to hand as well.
True, Celes had never really fought off a vampire, let alone three before, but she was rather angry, not to mention hungry, and the two vampire thugs were a lot younger than her, maybe 14 at convertion, and the priest guy was converted waaaaaay too late in his life.
In fact, Celes felt herself anticipating this fight, all her frustration and quiet discontent was making her relish the upcoming fight.
It almost made her want to...
"Every single night,
"The same arrangement,
"I go out and fight the fight,
"Still, I always feel the strange estrangement,
"Nothing here is real,
"Nothing here is right."
She walks up resolutely to the trio, who have stopped their ritual and face her with fangs unfurled.
"I've been making shows of trading blows,
"Just hoping no one knows,
"That I've been going through the motions,
"Walking through the part,
"Nothing seems to penetrate my heeeeeaaarrrrtt."
She charged up the nearest one, who also runs up to fight her, and they began to throw a meddley of punches, kicks and throws.
"I was always brave and kind of righteous,
"Now I find I'm wavering,
"Crawl out of your grave,
"You find this fight just doesn't mean a thing."
Celes scores a powerful punch right across the vampire's jaw.
Vampire: "She ain't got that swing..."
He crumples to the ground.
Celes:(looking down) "Thanks for noticing."
The vampire rolled the side and gets up as the two other vampires strut sideways over in a coordinated dance and continue:
"She does pretty well with fiends from hell,
"But lately, we can tell,
"That she's just going through the motions,
"Facing it some how...
Celes quickly retreated back during their verse, grabbed her Halconnen gun, and fired as they ran after her, the huge bullet going through the first vampire, through the second, and on to the third which was the priest vampire.
As the first two crumbled, the priest vampire continued to sing:
"She's not even half the girl she (looks down at huge hole in stomach) - ow." and crumbled into dust.
Celes carried along her Halconnen and ammo box, took up the blade from the pile of vampire dust:
"Will I stay this way forever?
"Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?
She walked over to the capture man, slicing the ropes with the blade, who turns out to be a light blonde-haired and very handsome guy, with his shirt ripped open to reveal a nice set of abs.
Guy: "How can I repay...
Celes: "Whatever.
"I don't want to be,
"Going through the motions
"Losing all my drive,
"I can't even see,
"If this is really me,
"And I just want to beeeeeeeeeeeee,
"Alllllliiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee
She spread her arms broadway style on the last two lines, still holding her Halconnen and ammo box. Then as if suddenly realising what she was doing, dropped her arms and stared around in confusion.
"What the hell was that?!"
Author's Notes (again): Soooooo, how was that? Silly, disturbing, stupid? Want to see more? Well, be honest with me on whether you want to see more, as well as comment on the song and action structure because this was the best I could come up with. Please review, and btw, the lyrics were taken from 'Going through the Motions', sung in Buffy the Musical, by Buffy the Vampire Slayer.