"...Don't give me that look, Moony. You can't stop me and you know it..."

"Something bad's happened, Remus."

"What? What do you mean?"

"It's Lily and Jam..." He made an odd sort of noise and just stared at Remus for several seconds, a wild look in his eyes.

"Prongs?" He nodded once and Remus stepped closer, grabbing the other man by the jacket. "What's wrong, Sirius? Tell me."

"He attacked them..." he whispered, staring somewhere over Remus' shoulder.

"Who attacked them, Sirius?" He shook him without meaning to. "You have to tell me!"

"Him," he said desperately.

For a long moment, during which Remus wanted to scream, wanted to physically hit his friend to make him answer, Sirius remained motionless. Then his black eyes turned to meet the golden moons of his friend. "No, Moony. Moony..." Now he was clinging to Lupin, his long fingers grasping his arms desperately. "Moony... oh, God, Moony... Moony... they're dead."

"...Come on, Moony. It'll be fun. No one'll catch us. Don't get your hackles up..."

"Padfoot... what if Mrs. Norris..."

"You're a werewolf, Moony. And you're scared of that pile of bones Filch likes to call a cat? Merlin, you're a bigger git than I thought."

Remus' face hardened more resolutely. "I am not, and don't call me that."

"Git."

"Stoppit, Padfoot."

"Git git git git git," he sang gleefully, dancing around and shaking his hips in a very strange fashion.

"Shut up Sirius."

"You shouldn't..." he began, but trailed off and changed subjects. "I'm not a git."

"Then are you coming?"

... the door opened and Sirius appeared, his jaw set firm. "I'm coming."

Remus stepped forward in a jerking motion, but Moody had already spoken. "No. Dumbledore wants you to stay here where it's..."

"Where's it's safe, I know, I bloody know. But I don't care about being safe. Harry's out there with Merlin-knows-what, and I'm not hiding here while he fights off Death Eaters again. I did that last time, thanks, and I didn't much fancy it."

"Sirius, we can handle it. You need to stay here in case..."

"WHAT?" he exploded. "In case WHAT? In case they come here by accident and Harry's perfectly fine? Then what should I do? Lock myself in the room with Buckbeak to make sure the big bad Death Eaters don't see me? Because Merlin forbid I DO something in this whole fucking ordeal..."

"Sirius, just listen to reason..."

"He's my fucking godson. That's all the reason I need. Twelve fucking years I was locked up in that goddamned whole, and now I'm out and the one think I care about is in trouble. And I'm going to help him. It's because of me he's there, and I'm bloody well certain that I'm going to be the one that gets him out. There's your reason. D'ya think it's good enough for you, Moody?" He turned, glaring, at all of them, until his gaze fastened on Lupin. "Moody? Care to say something? You seemed so eager a moment ago? Care to have a go at convincing me to stay here like a pet you don't let off its chain? Shall I just turn into dog form and you can just stake me to a peg out in the yard? Give me a bone to chew on?"

Lupin stared at him, wanting to say something, knowing he should, but also knowing it would do no good. It never had. He shook his greying head slowly. "No, Padfoot," he said simply, but he wanted to scream, 'the only one you care about?!' Instead, he turned and stepped outside the...

... door shut behind him and he didn't have to turn around to know who it was. "Well?" he said, "What are you waiting for? They're not objecting to you're going. So go."

Sirius shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his robes. "Aren't you going?"

"Oh, I think you've got it under control. Wouldn't want me intruding."

"Oh, Moony," he said, a half-exclamation, half-whisper, reaching out to lay his hand on Lupin's shoulder. "Don't say that. You know it's not true."

"Isn't it?" He wanted to move away from the touch, wanted to turn around and pull Sirius closer, just to hold him. He did neither. "You've got to go off and be heroic, just like you did when... when... when Prongs died. You shouldn't have gone to Wormtail."

There was silence for a long time; Remus was increasingly aware of the heated palm on his shoulder. "Do you think I should?" Sirius finally asked, softly.

At last, he turned. "Would you listen if I told you that you shouldn't?"

The old boyish smile returned to Sirius' face. "Nope."

He didn't return the smile. "Then what does it matter?" With a sigh and a sad shake of his head, he started to pull away.

But Sirius was faster than him, or had known what he would do. Either way, the black-haired man suddenly ended up directly in front of Lupin, his hands on his upper arms, holding him fast. "Don't walk out on me, Moony. You know what happened last time."

He swallowed hard and tore his gaze away, looking at anything rather than Sirius' dark eyes. He stared at the floor, the grass, the...

... "What do you want from me, Sirius?" He had been trying to stop calling him Padfoot, had been trying desperately. Using his real name was awkward, uneven, just plain wrong.

"Nothing." The thin, handsome figure looked up at him from the floor of his cell, where he had sat for quite a while.

"Then why did you ask me to come?"

There was hardly a beat before he answered, his eyes staring eagerly, hopefully. "To see you."

"I really have better things to do, Sirius."

"Don't call me that, Moony." There was a desperate edge to his voice. "You have to believe me... please don't listen to what they're saying... it's me... it's me, Padfoot." He rambled on, mindless of Remus' having shut his eyes in an attempt to block out the pleading sounds of his friend's (no... former friend's) voice. "Don't tell me you've forgotten the Marauders... torturing Snape, watching the Quidditch matches... sneaking around... you can't have forgotten all about the good times, unless you've taken some sort of Potion. And I know you, Moody, I know you wouldn't do that. Not to me... not to us, not to the Marauders."

Lupin's voice was frigid when he spoke. "There are no Marauders, Sirius. James is dead, you killed Peter, you're in here, and then there's me. And there's no such thing as one Marauder."

"But I'll get out, Moony. They'll clear me. I didn't do anything..."

"Don't call me that. It's not my name."

Sirius got to his feet, came closer to Lupin, who backed away. "Moony, please."

"I said..."

He scowled. "Are you that thick, Sirius? Have the Dementors already made you dumber than you were? Face it. It's over. Everything's over. And it'll never be the same again."

"We could..."

"NO. We're no doing anything. I don't want to see you again, Sirius, so don't ask me back. I refuse to waste anymore time on you than I already have these past eight years."

He was shaking his head vigorously, as if the motion would prevent the words from finding his ears. "I solemnly swear," he said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Remus stared sadly at him. "That was all you ever were up to, wasn't it, Sirius?" And with that, he turned and walked out of Azkaban, pretending not to hear the mournful howl that echoed off the walls and set several of the other prisoners to screaming. He wanted to scream too. But instead, he just...

...Sirius as he remembered the twelve years that had passed without communication and with so much regret. Sirius was right. He didn't want to do that again. He let his head fall forward to rest on his friend's shoulder. "I just... why don't you ever listen to me, Padfoot?"

"Because it's no fun to listen to the voice of reason."

"Not even once?"

He raised Lupin's head and looked at him. "Moony, please."

The werewolf looked more drawn and pale than he had in years. "For me, Padfoot? Stay here for me? Then you won't have to listen to me anymore. I swear."

He smiled sadly. "Do you solemnly swear?"

A strangled sound escaped him. "You know I do."

"I do know. But I can't do it. Not this time. Not when Harry needs me. He's been let down enough in his life by those who love him. I don't want to do it again." His hand was still cupping Lupin's face, and his thumb stroked absently across his cheek. "Please understand. I want to go with you, not stay behind again."

"Go with me or go to him?"

"Can't it be both?"

He sighed. "I suppose." Sirius dropped his hand and clutched Remus' for a moment, squeezing it tight. Then he turned away, back towards the door. Lupin's voice stopped him. "What if it were me instead of him?"

He whirled around, staring. "Don't ever ask me that again, Moony," he rasped, his throat suddenly dry. "Don't." And then he stepped brusquely forward, grabbed his friend, and pressed a hard kiss to the side of his mouth, just above his lip. And then he was...

"Prongs?" He nodded once and Remus stepped closer, grabbing the other man by the jacket. "What's wrong, Sirius? Tell me."

For a long moment, during which Remus wanted to scream, wanted to physically hit his friend to make him answer, Sirius remained motionless. Then his black eyes turned to meet the golden moons of his friend. "No, Moony. Moony..."

Now he was clinging to Lupin, his long fingers grasping his arms desperately. "Moony... oh, God, Moony... Moony... they're dead."

The door opened and Sirius appeared, his jaw set firm. "I'm coming."

The arrived at the Ministry building, and Lupin held Sirius back a moment. "Padfoot... I just... if anything, you know..."

"Shut up, Moony. Stop being so damn pessimistic. You always were, you know. Nothing's going to happen. We're just getting Harry out, that's all."

"But, Sirius..."

But he wasn't listening anymore, had turned and followed the others without so much as a word.

Sirius appeared at his side with a suddenness that made him jump. "For Merlin's sake, Padfoot!"

"I passed the Apparation test."

He rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

"This'll be great, won't it? Now over the summer I can see you whenever I want."

"And whenever I don't want," he retorted.

A broad grin broke out across the boyishly handsome face. "Precisely!" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You didn't tell me that you had..." he paused dramatically, one hand pressed to his heart, "the Inner Sight."

He grinned back. "It's the only way I'm able to understand you, you idiot."

"I thought understanding me would be easy. You've told me plenty of times how simple-minded I am."

Lupin shrugged, grinning. "You said it, not me."

"Oh, as opposed to Mr. Prefect here?"

"I'm not a Prefect anymore."

"But you were."

"So?"

"Goody two-shoes."

"Stop it. I'm serious."

Sirius laughed, his eyes sparkling. "No, I am, stupid."

Remus rolled his eyes as he walked away. "Oh, shut up, would you?"

He was still laughing when he called after him. "This summer, Moony. Expect me at all the worst times."

He glanced over his shoulder, unable to return his friend's smile. "Don't worry. I will."

Sirius was leaning against the wall in the darkness and let out a long, low whistle as Remus climbed sleepily out of bed, wearing nothing but his underwear. The werewolf whirled around, grabbing for the sheets. "Fuck, Padfoot! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"How come you don't wear those to bed at Hogwarts?" he inquired slyly. "Very sexy."

"Shut up."

He raised his hands. "I only speak the truth."

"What are you doing here?"

He flipped his hair over his shoulder and grinned. "Well, this is one of the worst times for you, I would imagine, isn't it?" Remus nodded, reaching for his robe. Sirius raised an eyebrow as he waved his wand and the robe moved out of his friend's reach. "I told you to be expecting me."