A/N this is set to Good Charlottes Emotionless. r+r if u cn b bothered

She sits at her desk, thinking what to write. She picks up the pen but then throws it down again, remembering the pain. She stares at the blank piece of paper but she has nothing to say, not even after all these years.

Hey Dad

I'm writing to you

Not to tell you, that I still hate you

Just to ask you feel

And how we fell apart

How this fell apart

She stares out of the window, watching the children playing in the snow. She sighs as their parents call them inside. She thought of her half siblings. How life must have been growing up without a real father. At least she'd had one. She starts to let the tears fall, after so many years, for them and for her.

Are you happy out there in this great wide world?

Do you think about your sons?

Do you miss your little girl?

When you lay your head down

How do you sleep at night?

Do you ever wonder if we're all right?

Well we're all right

We're all right

She sees all the bad things he had done in her mind, then the harsh punishment she had bestowed upon him. The look in his eye when he walked past her; sorrow, pain, anger and betrayal. Was he the one who had ruined her life or had she ruined his? Was killing her mother, his soulmate, worth taking his power?

It's been a long hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you thereon the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart

You broke your children for life

It's not ok

But we're all right

When she first learnt the truth, she had wondered. What it was like to have such power, to be in control. He could have been her father, he could have taught her the ways of the world, its ups and downs. Yet she had survived. She had learnt her way. The hard way

I remember the days when you were a hero in my eyes

But those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now, I'm writing to let you know I'm still alive yeah I'm still alive

She sits back down at desk and thinks of the secrets she holds in her heart. Not even her own soulmate knows about them. Gifts given, gifts received from the light and dark. No, something's should never be shared but be forgotten. But the pain and suffering she had gone through gaining them could not.

The days I spent so

Cold and hungry

Full of hate

I was so angry

The scars run deep

Inside this tattooed body

There's things I'll take

To my grave

But I'm okay

Yeah I'm okay

A knock on the door stops her thinking. In comes a little girl. "Mummy, are you going to come out and play" she asks. A man sticks his round the door and begs her to come. She smiles. She had her own family now, and no way would she ever abandon them. They were the ones she loved. A son, a daughter and a husband. They were all she'd ever need. Yet it would have been nice to have a guardian, a teacher, a father.

It's been a long hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you thereon the nights that we cried? You broke my mother's heart

You broke your children for life

It's not ok

But we're all right

I remember the days when you were a hero in my eyes

But those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now, I'm writing to let you know I'm still alive yeah I'm still alive

She gets up and pulls her coat off the door and says "I'll be there in a minute" The heads disappear back around the door.

Sometimes....

I forgive

Yeah and this time

I'll admit

That I miss you, said I miss you

And yet she could have that. She sits back down at her desk and picks up her pen. Her hand wavers over the paper then she writes.....

Hey Dad