NOTE: I know it's been like... a year... thanks for reminding me. I sincerely apologize. My first two years of high-school were kind of... yeah, let's not get into that... just enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: I know people are tired of hearing the same old crap, so I'm not gonna say: 'I don't own any of the Superstars, they own themselves, blah, blah, blah…' I'm just gonna say that: the story is a little similar to the movie, but not quite… so it's okay to read this before actually watching the movie. Read my story and review it damn it! … Pweez (

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Jeff walked into work with a confused expression on his face. Why would Trish go from sugar to shit in a matter of minutes? It was weird. Maybe it had something to do with the bet...

"Why the dazed look, Hardy?" Janice asked.

"Women."

"Women?"

"Women. They're so... strange..."

Janice raised an eyebrow. "This is coming from the kid with multi-colored hair."

"Well, Janice... you're not a woman."

Janice laughed. "Really? And all of the money that I just... waste on my gynecologist. Jeff, you really are a life saver."

Jeff shook his head. "You're a mess... I mean, you're my co-worker. I couldn't date you."

Janice nodded. "Understandable."

Jeff walked over to his chair and plopped down. "I mean, I don't get it, I just - "

"Jeff, you're on."

" - wanted to say good morning to all of you... fine people. Hey, before I provide you all with your mornin' tunes, I'd like to ask a question. This one's for the fellas. How is it that women... can change their moods in seconds! How can us guys get through it? Please, I'd like to hear your advice. Here's Bowling For Soup with Basket Case." Jeff sighed. "Janice, I'm losing it."

"Yeah you are."

"Huh?"

"Basket Case is by Green Day, you American Idiot."

"Oh, God, how embarrassing..."

Janice laughed. "I know."

"Hey, come in here with me, so we can get a female perspective. The calls are coming through like crazy."

After the song played, Jeff pushed a button on the phone. "WTKZ 5! You're on the air!"

"Jeff?"

"Yeah, who's calling? Where ya from?"

"Hey Jeff. This is Eddie. I'm from your house. I was wondering if you could pick up - "

"Goodbye, Eddie. WTKZ 5! You're on the air!"

"Hey Jeff, this is Randy!"

"Hey Randy, where ya from?"

"Middleton."

"Okay, Randy from Middleton. Tell us your perspective on women and their mood swings."

"Well... I like... live with my mom... and like... last night she was all... 'uh, Randy can you like... take out the garbage and stuff...' so I was all, 'mom, dude, I'm like with my girlfriend right now... can you like... make dad do it or something?' and she was all, 'Randy... you're a bum and a freeloader and you like... need to get a job and move out.'"

Janice stifled a laugh. "Wow."

"Chea, whata biotch..."

Jeff nodded his head. "Um, Randy?"

"Chea, dude?"

"You're mom was not having a mood swing. She's just tired of your sorry ass. Next caller. WTKZ 5! You're on the air!"

"Jeff?"

"Yep, who's calling?"

"Hi Jeff. This is Eddie. You hung up on me before - "

"WTKZ 5, you're on the air with Double J - Jeff and Janice. Where ya calling from?"

"Hey Jeff and Janice."

"Oh it's a female. Hey... who's calling?" Janice asked.

"This is Trish."

"My girlfriend's name is Trish." Jeff said. "So Trish, maybe you can clarify why your name-twin gets all carried away with her moods."

"Well, Jeff... honestly... maybe it's you."

Janice laughed. "She has a point, Jeffro."

"Me? I'm so sweet to the girl."

Trish laughed. "Oh yes. Extremely sweet. Oh, and by the way, thanks for spilling nail polish on the bathroom rug, you inconsiderate slob."

Jeff's eyes widened. "Trish!"

"Uh-huh."

"Nail polish! Jeff, you..." Janice looked at Jeff's metallic blue fingernails. "...paint your nails..."

"Uh-huh. With my nail polish. You didn't even ask. And you know what else you do that makes my 'mood swing'?"

"Trish... what are you doing?"

"I'm answering your stupid sexist question."

"Everyone has mood swings, Trish."

"Yeah, but not everyone blasts their relationship issues on the air."

"Trish, don't do this."

"No, Jeff. You started it. You wanted to get in some perspective from the general public, well, I have a say."

"Tri -"

"Hold on, I have another call."

"Trish, we're on the air, you can't put me on hold... Trish... Trish?"

"I think she... put you on hold, Jeff." Janice said nervously.

"Yeah, she did."

"So um... let's go back to the music. I'm sure everyone does not want to hear you and Trish fighting... it's awkward and uncomfortable... for me, especially...so this is Janice Hart for WTK -"

"We can't go back to the music just yet!" Jeff shouted.

"Oh, but we can."

Trish clicked back over. "Jeff?"

"Yeah?"

She sighed. "That was Eddie. He wants you to rent My Little Giant on your way home."

"Oh... God..."

"So where were we?"

"About to go to a commercial break!" Janice chirped.

"No, you weren't. I was going to tell the world what an idiot Jeff was for announcing my mood swings. You know, Jeff... you're not so charming either. You're only with me for a stupid bet!"

"Oh, come on! Don't go there! You're doing the same thing, sweetie."

"Don't call me sweetie. I feel anything but sweet right now."

"I am not with you because of a bet, Patricia."

"Oh, but I believe you are, Jeffrey."

"Can we please go to a commercial break, people... you're killin' me." Janice whined.

"No. I think you're fine. I think people should know what a real asshole Jeff Hardy is, and stop listening to his stupid show."

"Trish."

"He is sexist, and... idiotic... and... sloppy... and... and..."

"And what, Trish? How else are you going to insult me on the air?"

"By... breaking up with you."

Jeff stood silent for a minute.

"Woah... I told you we shoulda went to a commercial break." Janice sighed.

"Yeah, Jeff. We're over. I hope you're happy. Oh, and by the way, Basket Case is by Green Day, you moron."

oOo LaTeR oN oOo

Jeff stormed into the apartment, redder than hell. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!"

Trish sat on the couch with her knees to her chest. She didn't say anything.

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?" Jeff yelled.

Trish still didn't answer.

Jeff softened his tone, but you could still hear the anger in his voice. "Not only... did you embarrass the shit out of me... but you broke up with me on... the... AIR. Do you have any idea how many people listen to my show?"

Trish bit her lip.

"Do you know what that job means to me! I could get fired, Trish. Do you even care!"

Trish looked up at him.

"Do you!"

"You hurt my feelings." She croaked.

"I hurt your feelings and you break up with me. I hope you're happy."

"Why would I be happy?"

"Because you won the stupid bet."

Trish kept her head down.

"You didn't fall in love with me... and I didn't break up with you. Congratulations. You can move out now."

Jeff left the apartment and slammed the door behind him.

All Trish could do was cry.

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