Disclaimer: Here's a mind-blowing bit of news: I don't own Squaresoft. *sighs and stares at the floor* Darn...

Author's Note: *Laughs nervously* Really now, you don't have to get out the tar and feathers! Really! I updated! And it turned out to be a rather -um- interesting chapter, too. Come and see!

I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but I figured I'd better just hurry up and update before you really DID get out the tar and feathers. Not to mention that I've noticed that longer chapters scare a lot of people off. Including me! *Gulps*

One more thing, and then I'll shut up: this chapter is blatantly retarded. It is the offspring of two separate caffeine highs and to listening to strange music. Just warning you.

***

"Lucca!"

"Mrghhhhhhh..."

"Lucca!"

"Aghhhhhhh..."

"LUCCA!"

"Aagh!! Help!" Lucca gave a small shriek as she was thankfully jerked out of a rather horrid dream involving Magus, a hospital gown, and an innumerable amount of bedpans. Groggily rubbing her back, which, by the way, was as stiff as a board due to the fact that she had fallen asleep in the living room recliner, she made a silent vow to never provoke Magus with a bedpan OR to eat grape jelly before bed ever again.

"Wha -- wha IS it, Tanar?" She stifled a yawn as she slid her glasses back onto her nose, slowly bringing the world back into view, namely the cute little blond head that was currently staring at her with large unblinking blue eyes.

He said nothing; he only had to point towards the large puddle on the floor nearby to get his idea across.

Lucca grumbled irritably as she desperately fought with the chair's foot recline. "Geez, my life sucks."

***

~Forty-five minutes, twelve noisy kids, and a cleaned up puddle later~

Everyone was awake and about and breakfast was well on its way by the time Lucca had a spare moment to head upstairs with a can of her own special wood refurbisher. Although it had been roaringly funny the previous night, in hindsight she had become rather angered in regards to the burn mark that Magus had fireballed onto the door. "That bastard," she muttered vehemently as she stared at the scorched black sphere that stared innocently at her back. "Does he have regard for ANYONE'S property?" She thought about this for a second, and came to a quick, obvious conclusion. "No, I guess not," she added with a sigh. "After all, this IS Magus we're talking about."

She stared at the door for a moment. "Hmmmm, wonder if I should open it in order to do this..." It took a second and only a second. "No! NO! Anything but that!" She gave an involuntary shudder as she thought about the dire consequences of opening it.

Crouching down, she began to spray the smelly refurbisher onto the door, using her other hand to blot the stuff with a rag. Damn him, damn him, damn him! Thanks to him, she had to waste her precious, hard begotten time just to fix something that he had done...

She was just standing to go back downstairs to tend to breakfast when a shout abruptly rang out from within the room. "Dammit, whoever is banging on that confounded door had better quit it!"

One word: shit.

Rolling her eyes and seeing no other better option, Lucca swiveled back around and entered the room, doing her best to give the offending mage her haughtiest glare as she approached the bed. "Yes, my Lord. Anything else I can do for you?" She questioned him, giving him her very best mock bow.

Not surprisingly, he wasn't amused at her efforts. "You know, someone ought to keep quiet outside the door if someone wants to live past puberty," he announced through gritted teeth.

Aaaahhhh, it stung. But Lucca, however, wasn't one to take it quietly. "Yes, and someone should also be repairing the scorch mark that he made on my door," she replied through equally gritted teeth.

"Which someone justifiably deserved," he shot back, shifting moodily within the coverlets. "And where the hell is my breakfast?!" he added with a hiss. "I haven't eaten since last night!"

Lucca grinned and replied with what she thought a good comeback. "Really? I thought that you could just sustain yourself with all the hot air that constantly blows out of your mouth!" She shook her head in mock pity. "Poor poor Maggy. He hasn't eaten in what seems like ages. My heart bleeds purple Kool-Aid for his piteous predicament!"

"And someone will be bleeding quite soon if they don't can it."

"You, you mean?" she put in coolly. "I suppose all that spanking doesn't do wonders for certain tender areas, does it?"

He snarled, "You dare mock me, you impudent wench?"

She pretended to think for a moment. "Actually...yes. Come to think of it, I am."

Her only reply was a rather infuriated growl.

"Oh, all right," she finally gave in irritably. "You really don't like to have any fun, do you? Fine. I will get you some breakfast." She walked away, suddenly stopping at the door when she came up with a newer (but perhaps not brighter) idea. "Hey...come to think of it, why don't you eat downstairs this morning? After all, it's about time that all the kids did meet you. I've been telling them all this time that the Bogeyman's been lurking in this room. Although I guess I wasn't too far off from the mark there," she added dryly.

She stared at him crossly when he just "harrumphed" at her suggestion. "Well, what NOW?!" she questioned him, chagrined. "Is the kitchen table not good enough for his Highness?"

"I can't exactly get downstairs with this ankle, you know, you little moron," he replied pointedly, sulkily gesturing towards her hand, which was closed around the doorknob.

"Well, thanks for the FYI, Captain Obvious," she told him airily as she exited the room. "I'll be coming back up to get you, so don't you cry too hard while I'm gone."

She slammed the door pointedly, making sure to open it and slam it again several times in order to make a statement.

"Damn, this door's gonna be destroyed before long," she grumbled as she noticed yet another charred mark near the knob.

***

Breakfast was finally ready. Not that Lucca had toiled over the stove for an incredibly long amount of time, as the food itself was just toast and sausage, but even cooking THAT for fourteen was quite a task. Hurriedly tossing silverware onto the long wooden table, she turned and tried to round up all the children, who by now were all (unfortunately) up and about.

"Narcissa, go outside and try to find your sister."

"Is Maribelle still feeling funny? Ask her if she's hungry."

"Ted, stop that and get to the table!"

In this manner she managed to eventually corral everyone into the kitchen and into their seats, but she soon noticed that Kid was not among them. She headed upstairs to her room to find her (she had allowed Kid, being the oldest, to move into her parents' old room) and was greeted by an unusual sight.

Kid was lying peacefully in her bed, completely dressed for the day but still snoring. That wasn't all-in-all unusual, as when not stressed she was actually quite lazy in the morning, but what bothered Lucca was the fact that her prized antique pendant was not around her neck but clutched firmly in one curled palm.

(Weird... She NEVER takes that pendant off. And I mean never. Not even when she's swimming...)

The tale behind Kid's special pendant was a whole mystery within itself. All that Lucca knew was that she had been wearing it around her neck upon finding her in the woods on that day many years ago... It was a beautiful thing, actually not unlike Marle's pendant; it was a rock of deep crystalline blue, trimmed with some unknown silvery metal. From her infant years on Kid had always been rather enamored with the thing; she had always worn it and was always playing around with it. And she never took it off, as it seemed to serve as the only link between her and her unknown past. Not ever.

"Ahhhhh, maybe I'm just overreacting," Lucca muttered to herself, hastening to the side of the bed to wake her up. "Shouldn't have slept in that rock-hard recliner..." And that, unfortunately, reminded her of yet another thing: she had failed to find anything in her books related to Kid's malady. Four hours of late-night searching had yielded absolutely nothing. Damn, that pissed her off. Possibly even more than the fact that an angry, fire-wielding wizard had mercilessly taken over her guest room.

An angry, fire-wielding wizard that had a thing for destroying doors.

Geez, her head was going to explode sooner or later from it all.

Exploding heads aside, she went ahead and shook Kid awake, looking on interestedly as she watched her young charge rub her eyes lethargically and then proceed to hook the pendant back around her neck.

"Why did you take your pendant off, Kid?" she asked her curiously as they both turned to go back downstairs.

"Oh, I don't know," came the sleepy answer. "I just noticed something one night. That whenever I take my pendant off, I never dream."

Author's Note: Was that a...good place to stop? Probably not.

*Sighs* I'm not sure when I'll be updating again. Probably not for awhile. I'm going to be quite busy pretty soon (even busier than I've been lately, if THAT'S possible), but I WILL keep going with this. Most definitely. I know this story doesn't even compare to my other LuMa (it lacks all the sexual tension and the plot points that made that one special), but hey, it's weird and fun to write. Not to mention I haven't gotten them to kiss yet...

As always, thanks for the wonderful reviews. I wish I could shout out to some of you (there's a few plotholes that need explaining on my part, such as Kid's accent, not to mention lots of thank you's), but I'd better just shut up and upload this. Please remember to review and tell me how retarded this was! :)