As ff.net hasn't been working properly, I've been very bored, also annoyed
that I can't read my new reviews or upload anything. Anyway, because of
this, I decided to write something new. It will probably only be a one-
shot, though I have no idea right now what I'm doing with it.
It may sound like shounen-ai in some places, but that isn't my intention at all, it's just a nice introspect piece of a yami concerning his hikari, for now anyway, I don't know how this will turn out yet.
This is going to be my first no-pairing fic, so I hope it goes well ^_^
~-~
The darkness draws ever nearer & I feel my fear slowly rising. Fear is not an emotion I am used to, it is strange that something I am so used to & have used so much could inspire such a weak emotion in me. How can one be afraid of the very essence they are made from?
Upon this thought, I realise the truth, this is a dream, it is not truly the darkness that makes me fearful, but myself. I fear that I will never be anything but anger, sadness, pain & darkness. I fear that I will always be alone & that is the true reason I fought to harm Lihito, I was afraid he would take Malik from me. Without Lihito, or the others, Malik would need me; at least, that's what I thought.
It is only now I realise how wrong I was, hurting him would never make him need me, it only pushed him further away. I was too lost to notice at the time & too hateful to want to see the truth. I know now though & I'm sorry Malik, for everything I've done to you.
I said we were the same, that you couldn't place all the bad things on me, but that wasn't entirely true. We're not the same as I am Malik, you still remain the same wonderful child you were before I stole father, that's when I hid your light & made you more like me, now that my influence over you is gone, you regain what I stole from you & neesan is most happy of this.
I think you know I returned to you, yet you have said nothing. Do you feel the change in me I only just found out was there? Do you know I care for you & want to make all the pain I caused vanish from you? Are you willing to give me another chance? I hope the answers to the questions are what I want them to be Malik, because I truly do regret what I did to you.
Although it may be hard to believe Malik, you are everything to me, I only ever cared for you, that is the reason I hurt him, the reason I took his life, because he hurt you, no one is allowed to cause you pain, I won't allow it. Lihito hurt you too; he failed you, yet you still loved him & that hurt me.
He isn't worthy of you Malik, no one who fails you is, which means that I am no longer worthy of you either. My hope lies with your forgiveness of Lihito, if you could forgive him, could you forgive me too?
I want to be worthy of you Malik, I want to protect you from this world & keep your innocence intact. Will you allow me to do this Malik? Will you let me keep your purity safe? I hope you will, for I would be lost otherwise, lost & alone in the darkness I was created from. I won't fail you again, or hurt you again, I promise you this.
I am lost now as to what else I can say to you, how to make you see the hidden light of darkness, the good you hid within me is awake now & it compels me to make you see that. I won't be here when you wake, when you read the contents of my heart, the heart neither of us knew existed.
All I can say, is that I hope you can forgive me Malik, I hope that you can see the truth, that pure darkness could never be created from something so innocent & pure. I love you Malik, just as neesan does, I hope you let me prove that to you. You will know where to find me if you choose to. Once again, I am sorry for all the harm I caused you Malik, that was never my true intention, I simply got lost in the darkness & hatred I felt, though that is no excuse, perhaps it will help you understand.
I hope you feel no hatred for me, despite having every reason to & I hope you allow me to return to your life, I am lost without my other half. Good- bye for now Malik. Until our paths cross again.
Marik
~
I stare blankly at the words in front of me, trying to comprehend everything I have just read. I find it hard to believe there could be such thoughts & emotions within my darkness & yet, at the same time, I have always known all of it. I know that he cares for me, that he wants to be my niisan & I think I've always let him take that role.
It's also true that I knew he was back & remained silent, even if I understand him, no one else would, and they would never accept that he could possess any goodness. I think they would try to destroy him, as I myself attempted to do. To try to destroy a part of oneself, what does that mean?
I can't agree with him about everything though, him thinking I'm pure, after everything I've done, how could anyone believe that? He truly blames himself for my actions? I don't understand him at all; I mean it couldn't be true. I suppose I will only get my answers directly from him.
I will know where to find him if I choose to? How would I know where he would go? It couldn't be home, that's too far away for him to expect me to go & neesan would ask questions if I just suddenly wanted to leave, Lihito would also insist on going with me. So it must be somewhere closer, but where exactly? Somewhere private related to me, or both of us, the most logical guess would be the airship, since that's where everything happened, but that isn't a logistical possibility. I know! It must be either my former hideout or my boat. Time to go looking for my darkness then. I hope neesan won't worry about my absence.
~
Malik walked towards the boat he had used to enter battle city & entered, walking towards Marik.
"You chose to come then?" Marik asks blankly.
"Of course I did, though it took me a while to figure everything out." Malik replied.
Malik sat near to his practical double, though not close enough for it to be informal, or friendly. Marik noticed this & frowned slightly, suddenly unsure of what to say. Upon Malik's concerned glance however, his doubt faded, he knew he was forgiven.
"So, what do you want me to do or say?" Marik asked, knowing that forgiveness & acceptance were two different things.
"I don't really know anymore. I just want, I guess I just want a resolution, I can't just run from this."
"I understand that. It's pointless to try escaping yourself."
Malik nods slightly & closes the gap between them slightly. Resting his head on Marik's shoulder.
"You want to be my niisan Marik?"
Marik tenses slightly, surprised.
"I. Yeah, I think I do."
Malik grins & hugs Marik slightly.
"I don't mind that, it will be nice having more family. I know you won't do any of the things you're afraid of Marik, I trust you."
Marik smiles sincerely & returns the embrace.
"I'm glad Malik, thank you for giving me another chance. I'll do my best to make you happy, I promise."
~-~
Wow, how. sappy. That isn't like me at all.
Uh, talking part is a little, uh, lacking, which is probably because I'm Rping, so I'm writing like that instead.
Anyway, please review & let me know what you think.
Arigato & ja ne.
It may sound like shounen-ai in some places, but that isn't my intention at all, it's just a nice introspect piece of a yami concerning his hikari, for now anyway, I don't know how this will turn out yet.
This is going to be my first no-pairing fic, so I hope it goes well ^_^
~-~
The darkness draws ever nearer & I feel my fear slowly rising. Fear is not an emotion I am used to, it is strange that something I am so used to & have used so much could inspire such a weak emotion in me. How can one be afraid of the very essence they are made from?
Upon this thought, I realise the truth, this is a dream, it is not truly the darkness that makes me fearful, but myself. I fear that I will never be anything but anger, sadness, pain & darkness. I fear that I will always be alone & that is the true reason I fought to harm Lihito, I was afraid he would take Malik from me. Without Lihito, or the others, Malik would need me; at least, that's what I thought.
It is only now I realise how wrong I was, hurting him would never make him need me, it only pushed him further away. I was too lost to notice at the time & too hateful to want to see the truth. I know now though & I'm sorry Malik, for everything I've done to you.
I said we were the same, that you couldn't place all the bad things on me, but that wasn't entirely true. We're not the same as I am Malik, you still remain the same wonderful child you were before I stole father, that's when I hid your light & made you more like me, now that my influence over you is gone, you regain what I stole from you & neesan is most happy of this.
I think you know I returned to you, yet you have said nothing. Do you feel the change in me I only just found out was there? Do you know I care for you & want to make all the pain I caused vanish from you? Are you willing to give me another chance? I hope the answers to the questions are what I want them to be Malik, because I truly do regret what I did to you.
Although it may be hard to believe Malik, you are everything to me, I only ever cared for you, that is the reason I hurt him, the reason I took his life, because he hurt you, no one is allowed to cause you pain, I won't allow it. Lihito hurt you too; he failed you, yet you still loved him & that hurt me.
He isn't worthy of you Malik, no one who fails you is, which means that I am no longer worthy of you either. My hope lies with your forgiveness of Lihito, if you could forgive him, could you forgive me too?
I want to be worthy of you Malik, I want to protect you from this world & keep your innocence intact. Will you allow me to do this Malik? Will you let me keep your purity safe? I hope you will, for I would be lost otherwise, lost & alone in the darkness I was created from. I won't fail you again, or hurt you again, I promise you this.
I am lost now as to what else I can say to you, how to make you see the hidden light of darkness, the good you hid within me is awake now & it compels me to make you see that. I won't be here when you wake, when you read the contents of my heart, the heart neither of us knew existed.
All I can say, is that I hope you can forgive me Malik, I hope that you can see the truth, that pure darkness could never be created from something so innocent & pure. I love you Malik, just as neesan does, I hope you let me prove that to you. You will know where to find me if you choose to. Once again, I am sorry for all the harm I caused you Malik, that was never my true intention, I simply got lost in the darkness & hatred I felt, though that is no excuse, perhaps it will help you understand.
I hope you feel no hatred for me, despite having every reason to & I hope you allow me to return to your life, I am lost without my other half. Good- bye for now Malik. Until our paths cross again.
Marik
~
I stare blankly at the words in front of me, trying to comprehend everything I have just read. I find it hard to believe there could be such thoughts & emotions within my darkness & yet, at the same time, I have always known all of it. I know that he cares for me, that he wants to be my niisan & I think I've always let him take that role.
It's also true that I knew he was back & remained silent, even if I understand him, no one else would, and they would never accept that he could possess any goodness. I think they would try to destroy him, as I myself attempted to do. To try to destroy a part of oneself, what does that mean?
I can't agree with him about everything though, him thinking I'm pure, after everything I've done, how could anyone believe that? He truly blames himself for my actions? I don't understand him at all; I mean it couldn't be true. I suppose I will only get my answers directly from him.
I will know where to find him if I choose to? How would I know where he would go? It couldn't be home, that's too far away for him to expect me to go & neesan would ask questions if I just suddenly wanted to leave, Lihito would also insist on going with me. So it must be somewhere closer, but where exactly? Somewhere private related to me, or both of us, the most logical guess would be the airship, since that's where everything happened, but that isn't a logistical possibility. I know! It must be either my former hideout or my boat. Time to go looking for my darkness then. I hope neesan won't worry about my absence.
~
Malik walked towards the boat he had used to enter battle city & entered, walking towards Marik.
"You chose to come then?" Marik asks blankly.
"Of course I did, though it took me a while to figure everything out." Malik replied.
Malik sat near to his practical double, though not close enough for it to be informal, or friendly. Marik noticed this & frowned slightly, suddenly unsure of what to say. Upon Malik's concerned glance however, his doubt faded, he knew he was forgiven.
"So, what do you want me to do or say?" Marik asked, knowing that forgiveness & acceptance were two different things.
"I don't really know anymore. I just want, I guess I just want a resolution, I can't just run from this."
"I understand that. It's pointless to try escaping yourself."
Malik nods slightly & closes the gap between them slightly. Resting his head on Marik's shoulder.
"You want to be my niisan Marik?"
Marik tenses slightly, surprised.
"I. Yeah, I think I do."
Malik grins & hugs Marik slightly.
"I don't mind that, it will be nice having more family. I know you won't do any of the things you're afraid of Marik, I trust you."
Marik smiles sincerely & returns the embrace.
"I'm glad Malik, thank you for giving me another chance. I'll do my best to make you happy, I promise."
~-~
Wow, how. sappy. That isn't like me at all.
Uh, talking part is a little, uh, lacking, which is probably because I'm Rping, so I'm writing like that instead.
Anyway, please review & let me know what you think.
Arigato & ja ne.