These are some ideas of what Dumbledore will say to Harry in the fifth book. My friend prongs and I wrote these. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I did not make up the characters, or the phrase, "It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you five years ago." That was taken from the fifth book.
" It is time for me to tell you something that I should have told you 5 years ago. Please sit down."
" What?"
"You are a muggle. We made a mistake, but were too lazy to send you back. We charmed your wand so a muggle could use it."
" Really? And all this time I thought I was a wizard." He went back to Privet Drive.
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" It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago. Harry, I belong to the Smile Gay Teletubby club. And we want you to join."
" Are you kidding? All my life, I have wanted to join the SGT club! It was my idol."
" Harry, can I have a hug?"
" AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
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" It is time for me to tell you what I should have told you 5 years ago."
What could it be? Harry thought.
" Harry… I know this might be a shock to you, but… Elvis is dead."
" NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Harry owned all of the King's records.
" Voldemort killed him when he wouldn't perform without hair gel."
" Darn you, Voldie! I never should have bought you that new car!"
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" It is time that I tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago."
" Is it good news or bad news?"
" What would you do if I said good?"
" I would most likely be happy."
" And if I said bad?"
" I would…er… run and scream in horror?"
"I guess I should put a silencing charm on the room, then, shouldn't I?"
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" It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago."
" Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why haven't you told me yet?"
" Told you what?"
" What ever you were about to tell me?"
" Do you know what I was about to tell you?"
" How would I know?"
" How would you know?"
" Can you just get on with what you were going to say?"
" I don't know, can I?"
" Can you?"
" Can I?"
" Can you?"
" Can I?"
" Do you realize we've been speaking in questions?"
" How stupid do you think I am?"
" Should I really answer that?"
" Ever heard of a rhetorical question?"
" WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?"
" Do you have a problem with the way I run my school?"
" Where did that come from?"
(Whispers) * No, didn't you know you were supposed to say, " I don't know, do you?"? *
* Oh, was I? * (Out loud) " I don't know, do you?"
" Do you?"
" Do you?"
" Do you?"
" OH, SHUT UP!" Harry stormed out of the office.
Dumbledore blinked. " Was that a question?"
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" It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago."
" I'm ready for it."
" Harry, you are Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty."
" I'm who? Why am I in a male body?"
" Er… well… how about I answer that question in another 5 years?"
" No, now!"
" Because… because… Isn't it time for lunch? I'm starved!" Dumbledore rushed out, leaving a very confused Harry sitting in front of his desk.
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" It is time for me to tell you what I should have told you 5 years ago."
" What?"
" Michael Jackson is in love with you."
" NO! THE HORROR!"
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" It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago. Please sit down."
Harry was a little scared. What was Albus Dumbledore going to say?
" Harry… Professor Snape is your birth mother."
" What?!?" Harry stood up. " But… everyone says I've got my mother's eyes!"
" If everyone said you should jump off a bridge, would you?"
" Er… what?"
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" It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago. Sit down."
Harry sat down, feeling nervous.
" Stand up." He stood.
" Sit down." Harry sat.
" Stand up." He stood again.
" Sit down." Harry looked at Dumbledore.
" Why?"
Dumbledore laughed. " I love doing that!" Then he said, " Stand up!"
" I am already standing!" Harry was getting annoyed.
" Oh. Then sit down."
" No!"
" Imperio!" Dumbledore cursed Harry. A small voice in Harry's head said,
" Sit down!" Harry sat.
" Stand up!" Harry stood.
" Go tell Snape you love him and then do a hula dance!" Harry went to find his Potions teacher.
When Harry proclaimed his everlasting love and started to dance, Snape shot him to put him out of his misery.
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" It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago. Please sit down."
Harry sat. (A/N: No, not this again!)
" Harry, you are allergic to nuts."
Harry was stunned. He never knew this.
" Which kind?"
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" Harry, it is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago."
" W-What is it?"
" Can I call you Luke?"
" Um… sure."
" Luke, I am your father."
" Really?"
" No, I just always wanted to say that."
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" Harry, It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago."
" What?"
" You know you are a Parcelmouth?"
" Yes…"
" Well, you are also a DungoToung."
" Which means…?"
" You can talk to Dung Beetles."
" What? No!"
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" I am going to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago."
" Why? What is it?"
" Harry, you have diarrhea"
Harry's stomach grumbled. " Oh, 'scuse me a second…"
He rushed to the bathroom.
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" It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you 5 years ago."
" What is it?" Harry asked? " I've been waiting for five years for this! What could be so important that you had to wait till I was fifteen to tell me?"
" You have an overdue library book"
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" Harry, it is time for me to tell you what I should have told you 5 years ago."
" Well tell me!"
" I want you to go find Severus Snape and-"
" DON'T FINISH THAT THOUGHT!" Harry yelled and sprinted out of the room.
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" It is time for me to tell you something I should have told you five years ago."
" What is it?"
" Never eat raspberries."
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" It is time for me to tell you what I should-"
" Look, we all know where this is going! You say your little speech, I ask what, and then you say something stupid. Why don't you just tell me something that Rowling would really write?" Harry said, exasperated.
" Hmm… how about… NO!" Dumbledore laughed. " Now, I have to tell you that… you are a wizard!"
Harry got up and went to the door. Just before he slammed the door, he yelled, " I ALREADY KNOW!"
" It is time for me to tell you what I should have five years ago."
" What is it? Is it why Voldemort wanted to kill me?"
" Yes. Here it is: you are Voldemort's father!"
" What!? Then how… but why… AAAAAAHHHH!"
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" I'm gonna tell you something I should have told you five years ago."
" What is it?"
" Your fly's open."
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"… should have told you five years ago."
" Ok, tell me."
" No, Harry, you're supposed to say, 'oh, no! What if it's something horrible? What if it ruins my life?'. Aren't you scared?"
" Um… no."
*Dumbledore puts on a scary mask*
" Does this scare you?"
" Er, no."
* sneaks up behind Harry*
" Boo! Are you scared now?"
" No."
* puts on a dress and a blond wig *
" Like, I'm a cheerleader!" he batted his eyelashes.
" AAAAAAAAAAAA!"
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" Harry, it is time for me to tell you something I should have five years ago."
" ok, shoot." Harry said, so Dumbledore pulled out a .44 pistol…
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" Harry, it's time for me to tell you something I should have told you five years ago."
" Ok" said Harry. Dumbledore sang:
" In days of old
When men were bold
And paper wasn't invented,
They wiped their a**
With broken glass
And walked away contented."
Harry stared at him. " Why did you sing that?"
" No reason," Dumbledore shrugged. " I just made it up and had to tell someone."
If you have any suggestions, even if you think that they are stupid, pleeze pleeze review and tell me! I might use them in the next chapter. But, I'm gonna try to finish these before June 21.
Or I might continue after the book, even though she already wrote it. I'll write could-be's.
Anyway, pleeze review! With suggestions!