Impossible, Not Unattainable
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, it belongs to the wonderful people who thought it up.
Warnings: Language, Rape (implied, not detailed), Death
*************
Urameshi Yusuke groaned and rolled his eyes as his girlfriend, Keiko, reprimanded him once more; he couldn't even figure out what he had done! She was saying something about his manners and how he shouldn't hit on every girl that he passed. Yusuke couldn't quite figure out how Kuwabara Kazuma - his one time enemy, but currently one of his best friends and his sparring partner - had talked him into this! Today was Keiko's birthday and he was to keep her away from her house; where the others - Kuwabara, Kurama, Yukina, Botan, Hiei, Shizuru, and, surprisingly, Koenma-sama - were setting up for her surprise party. Practically everyone they knew was invited, since this was Keiko's 21st birthday. They had all decided that they were going to get Keiko to drink at least one glass of wine, it was tradition! They had beer and wine ordered for the party, plus a little sake for Shizuru. This was bound to be. interesting. to say the least!
Yusuke had a few problems with his role. First off, he had to get by with Keiko after him because he didn't get her a birthday present. I mean, best friends should always get each other gifts, shouldn't they? Secondly, he had to keep her away from her own house! When they had left that morning, Keiko had forgotten her purse and Yusuke couldn't let her go back. Thus, he was forced to pay for everything they did. They certainly did plenty of things, too! Yusuke hadn't gotten very much sleep last night either; he had been too worried about the upcoming day. He had - perhaps foolishly - gotten Keiko a ruby necklace that he was sure he'd be paying off until he was fifty! He had also bought her a new skirt, just in case he wimped out and didn't give her the necklace.
Considering Yusuke had picked Keiko up at eight thirty that morning and it was currently three in the afternoon, Keiko was starting to get annoyed at his presence. Yusuke could almost say the same! But, he knew it was worth it: he wanted to see Keiko's expression at five when he led her into her house and everyone jumped out at them. Yusuke knew it was coming, so he, personally, wouldn't jump too much. Seeing Keiko's expression was definitely something he was looking forward to!
"Yusuke! Aren't you listening to me? I just told you that I want to go home now! I have to start cooking supper now!" Keiko glared at him.
"Keiko, you can't go yet, I wanted to go to the three o'clock movie! You can just get take-out!"
"Fine! What movie are we going to?"
"Akira! Come on!" Yusuke grabbed her arm and pulled her down the road to the theatre, this would take up the last two hours that he needed to burn. Once at the theatre Yusuke bought the tickets, soda, and popcorn for both of them. He was running slightly low on cash, but that was OK. As long as it kept Keiko entertained and happy.
They watched the movie in silence until about the middle when Keiko fell asleep on Yusuke's shoulder. Yusuke just looked down at her and blushed. He finished watching the movie before he decided to wake her. When the lights went back on, some of the people surrounding them commented on how cute they looked and Yusuke blushed again. He shook Keiko awake lightly and looked at his watch, three past five. Good, they weren't early.
"Keiko, time to head back to your place!" Yusuke said lightly.
"Really? OK, let's go. Can we get an ice-cream on the way?" She was still half asleep.
"Sure." Yusuke burned his last five dollars on their ice cream. Damn! I'm outta cash! She better not want anything else for the time being! Yusuke thought.
He helped Keiko home, as she was tired. Yusuke realized that he probably shouldn't have wasted her energy. Well, he had been told to keep her from her house until five, and thus he did so! It wasn't his fault if she was tired. As they turned the corner to Keiko's, Yusuke noticed that the lights were off; this meant that they were ready, now it was time to party!
Keiko took out her key and let them into the house. The moment she was fully in the door, the lights flashed on and everyone jumped out.
"SURPRISE!!!!!" Everyone yelled at once. Keiko practically flew backwards into Yusuke, causing him to loose his balance and the two tumbled backwards onto the porch. When they both looked into the living room, everyone was laughing. Keiko punched Yusuke.
"Is this why you didn't let me go home?"
"Hai!" Yusuke smirked. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?"
"Iie, Yusuke-kun." Keiko laughed.
"This was all Yukina and Shizuru's idea, don't blame us if you hate it!" Kuwabara put his arm on Yusuke's shoulders.
"I should go and thank them." Everyone laughed. "If you two had planned it, we would have wound up with some sort of stripper!"
"I'm hurt!" Yusuke faked being wounded and collapsed backwards.
"Keiko-chan, did you notice that we got practically everybody to come?" Yukina asked politely.
"Hai! It's wonderful, Yukina-chan!" Keiko looked thoroughly pleased.
"Alright, let's let Keiko open her gifts now!" Shizuru exclaimed. "Then we can play birthday games!"
"Like what, Shizuru-chan?" Keiko asked.
"Well, spin the bottle, I've never, Truth or Dare, etc. Won't this be fun?" Shizuru asked, smiling profusely.
"Great. How fun." Keiko looked as though she were trying to find the quickest way out of there.
"Come on, open your gifts!" Yukina exclaimed in a very un-Yukina fashion. Everybody looked at her and sweatdropped. "I want to see if she likes my gift!" Yukina exclaimed with a tear gem forming in her eye.
"Don't cry, Yukina-chan! I'll open them now!" Keiko didn't want anyone that was there - and wasn't a member of the Urameshi Team - to see that the girl cried gems and not tears.
Yukina brightened up quite a bit. "Sugoi! I can't wait!"
Keiko sat down on the floor and watched as dozens of gifts were laid before her. "Sugoi."
Keiko received many small things, like CDs, hair accessories, gift certificates; but her good friends each got her more personal gifts. She got to open those last. First was Kurama's gift. He had gotten her a bouquet with a special note attached to it. Keiko read it and blushed, quickly hiding it in her pocket. Botan wanted to go next; she had gotten Keiko a pair of Prussian blue earrings. These Keiko guessed had some other purpose that Botan would tell her in private. Next was Shizuru's gift. Keiko looked slightly upset when she noticed it was a CD, but then noticed that Shizuru had made the CD herself. She had obviously put effort into it. Keiko read the song list and blushed again. These people sure were persistent! Kuwabara handed her his gift next and Keiko opened it with dread. Surprisingly, it was nice. He had given her a pretty dress. It was dark blue and looked like something out of a Shakespearean play. It had lace on the sleeves and front and it laced up. It was form fitting and Keiko could tell that it would fit her perfectly because the measurements were on the tag. She wondered how Kuwabara had gotten her measurements right. She guessed that Yusuke had given them to him. Keiko didn't quite remember giving them to him, though. Next was Hiei's gift. It wasn't wrapped very nicely, but that's Hiei for you! It contained a small leather bag. Inside the bag were eight different stones, each a different color and shape. They all had symbols on them. Keiko figured that they were something from Makai and thanked Hiei, asking exactly what they were. He told her that they were just some gems that he had found about twenty years ago. The guests who didn't know him that well stared at him kind of funny. Keiko knew that there was more to it than that, but decided to ask him later, or just ask Yusuke what was written on them. Next was Yukina's gift. Keiko gasped at the pretty gift. It was a chain of gems: tear gems! Yukina told her that it was for protection. Koenma handed her his gift next. It was big and heavy. She opened it; a book on EVERYTHING she had EVER done! Keiko just stared. She thanked him of course, and put the book someplace safe. He told her that it filled itself in as she did new things, even now. Lastly was Yusuke's gift. He had chickened out and was giving her the skirt as his party gift. He had decided to give her the necklace in private. When Keiko saw that it was only a skirt, she felt a little sad, but decided that she would thank him anyway. She didn't let her disappointment show.
"Thank you, minna-san, for the wonderful gifts!" Keiko bowed politely.
"OK! Time for a little drink!" Shizuru smiled. Keiko suddenly looked pale.
"You didn't get alcohol, did you?"
"Of course! You're twenty-one now! You can drink!" Keiko paled even more. "Just one drink?"
"Fine. Just one, though." Keiko took the glass that someone had poured for her and swallowed it. She coughed and hiccupped.
"How was it?" Shizuru asked.
"Fine."
"Take another. It didn't kill you, now did it?"
"Oh, all right." Everyone cheered.
Two hours later, practically everyone was wasted. With the exceptions of four people. They were: - surprisingly - Kuwabara, Yukina, Kurama, and Yusuke. The four of them sat around a table and talked, attempting to ignore all the drunken people.
"Well, who knew that we'd be the only ones not wasted? Ya'd think the opposite!" Kuwabara laughed.
"Same here. Too bad Hiei left right away, we would have been able to tease him about it!" Yusuke laughed back.
"You two have had some alcohol, though, right?" Kurama asked. He had been taking sips off the same glass of wine all night.
"Nope. Yukina thinks that it's bad for me, so I don't do it." Kuwabara laughed.
"I had a glass, then decided to help Yukina keep this big oaf away from the alcohol table!" Yusuke laughed harder.
"Interesting. What about you, Yukina? Have you had a drink yet?" Kurama asked.
"Iie. I don't drink. The Koorime get drunken too easily. When we are drunk, we get very, very short tempered. It's not a pretty sight!" She laughed. Kurama and Yusuke looked at each other, sweatdropping.
"No offense, Yusuke, but you don't seem to be yourself. What's the matter?" Kurama asked politely.
"Oh, nothing big!" Yusuke just smiled.
"Really? It wouldn't have to do with. say. Keiko? Would it?"
"It does. But it's not that big of a deal, Kurama. I just wanted to give her my gift, that's all. I just can't seem to find an opening where she's not with somebody else."
"Well, you may want to give it to her tomorrow, as dear Keiko seems to be drunk." Yukina pointed out.
"Yeah, I know. If we weren't already at her house, I would have taken her home by now." Yusuke looked slightly nervous. "I've never heard her say anything about drinking, ever. She always said that she never wanted to drink. That it was a 'horrid habit'." His eyes trailed the spot where Keiko was sitting and conversing with a boy from their college.
"Well, I would have to agree with that." Kurama nodded. "She never seemed the type who would go and get drunk right away. I guess if something bad happens, we can just blame Shizuru for making her take a drink."
"Oi! This isn't Shizuru's fault! She wouldn't have made Keiko drink if she hadn't really wanted to. She caved and Shizuru won!" Kuwabara glared at the redheaded, reincarnated youko.
"Ooh! Kazuma! I love this song! Will you dance with me?" Yukina got up and grabbed his hand. They all noticed that "Chicken Bone" by Megumi Hayashibara had come on. "Onegai? Kazuma-kun?"
"All right, Yukina-chan." Kuwabara "caved" as the girl he loved eyed him pleadingly. They got up and danced, leaving the sober Kurama and Yusuke to themselves.
"So, Yusuke, when are you going to ask Keiko?" Kurama grinned devilishly. (Not a good thing. Also a creepy thought.)
"Uhh." He muttered aimlessly. "Nani?"
"When will you ask Keiko-chan to marry you?" Kurama laughed lightly.
"Why would I ask her to marry me?" Yusuke shot back, a little to quickly.
"Because we all know you'll wind up married sooner or later, and you may as well get the hard part over with." Kurama smiled. "And it shouldn't take this much time for two people who love each other as much as you two do to get together.marriage or dating, it's obvious you need to progress before you hit a wall. I pride myself in being able to see these things."
"Then why did it take so long for you and Hiei to go out?" Yusuke grinned ruthlessly.
"My mother didn't approve." Yusuke glared at him, annoyed that he had been beaten.
"Ask her. The worst she can do is say no and laugh at you like there's no tomorrow." Kurama smiled kindly, contradicting his comment.
"Oi, arigatou." Yusuke glared at him. "That made me feel sooo much better!"
"Just being honest." Kurama put his hands up in an I-give-up-so-don't-hurt- me way.
"How about lying for a change?" Yusuke groaned.
"At least give her that wonderful gift you bought her last week." Kurama smiled pleasantly.
"I'm starting to believe that you have been following me around, Kurama! I hope that I am wrong in my assumption?" Yusuke looked at him in a way that meant say-something-to-make-me-happy-or-you-may-die-a-painful-death.
"It was Hiei's idea. He said that you were up to something, so we followed you." Kurama just shrugged. "I shouldn't think that there is anything wrong with that."
"." Yusuke just glared. He was about to make a nasty comeback when Kuwabara walked up behind him and grabbed him. "Oi! Have you gotten into a little too much sake?" He looked up at the other man incredulously.
"You better go check on Keiko, she didn't look too good." Kuwabara looked as though he'd seen something that he didn't want to.
"Was she throwing up or something?"
"Iie. You just need to go and look." He was extremely pale.
"What do you mean?" Yusuke looked slightly panicked.
"I think that she may have a boyfriend for the night. And I don't think it's you."
Yusuke got up and left the room so quickly you would have thought that four S-class youkai were on his tail.
"Kuwabara, what did you mean by that?" Kurama asked hurriedly.
"I think she got a little too drunk."
"Nani?"
"She may be sleeping with someone. And unless there are two Urameshis, it ain't Yusuke." He looked like he was going to throw up.
"Oh, Kami-sama." Kurama sat back, hard.
"I hope he gets there in time. I know how much they care for one another." Kuwabara looked at his feet. "She'd hate to make such a mistake. Hate herself, I mean."
"Yes, Keiko would have to be pretty drunk to do something like this." Kurama looked extremely distressed.
Meanwhile, Yusuke was heading down the longs halls of Keiko's home. He found Yukina waiting outside one of them. "Where is she?"
"In there, don't hurt anyone, onegai?" Yukina looked ready to cry, in fact, she already was. There were tear gems all over the floor.
"I'm going to do whatever it takes for her to not make a mistake." Yusuke looked more determined than Yukina had ever seen him.
"Why don't you take her back to your place and clean her up a bit?"
"All right, you go and wait with Kuwabara." Yusuke smiled reassuringly at her.
"OK." She went down the hall.
Yusuke walked into the room, completely ignoring what the pair was doing. They were very close to taking each other's clothing off. "Keiko?! What the hell are you doing? Come on, let's get you out of here." Yusuke reached down and grabbed her arm.
"Iie, Yusuke-kun. I'm comfy." Keiko slurred. It came out more like: Ey, Uuski-kun. I's cunfie.
"Iie, we're going." He pulled her out of the room and out the back door of the house. The boy in the bed looked out the door bewildered for about a minute before passing out.
Back in the living room, Yukina sat down uncomfortably. "I don't like this."
"Neither do I." Kuwabara put his arm around her shoulders comfortingly. "But I trust Yusuke. He would NEVER let anything happen to Keiko. EVER."
"Hai, you're right, Kazuma-kun." Yukina smiled and sunk into his chest.
"Where did you tell him to take her?"
"Back to his place, why?" Yukina looked questioningly at Kurama, the asker of the question.
"If Keiko is drunk, and alone with Yusuke, that may not be such a good idea." They all paled as realization hit them.
"Iie! I should never have said that!" Yukina started sobbing, tear gems were everywhere. They were about to calm her when there was a soft knock at the door. Kurama got up to get it when the door opened from the outside.
"Oh, Hiei, I thought that you were going back to the apartment?"
"Hai, I was, and I did, but I got bored, so I came back." He just shrugged.
"Oh. All right."
"What's bothering you?"
"Sit down." Kurama pointed to the table where Kuwabara was trying, if unsuccessfully, to calm the sobbing Koorime.
"What happened to Yukina?" Hiei, the ever protective elder brother, asked with mirth.
"Just sit down." Kurama motioned to the table and Hiei obliged, if only to find out what was bothering his Imouto.
"Now, tell me what's going on." Hiei didn't look happy.
"Keiko got drunk." Kuwabara said placidly.
"So what?"
"And almost slept with a guy."
"."
"So Yusuke went to get her."
"And?"
"Yukina told him to take her back to his house to clean her up."
"Point being?"
"She was DRUNK, Hiei." Kurama looked him in the eye and the little fire demon's eyes widened.
"She's in love with Urameshi."
"Hai."
"So she may."
"Hai. That's what has Yukina worried. She thinks that if anything happens it will be her fault." Kurama looked at the poor sobbing girl.
"I hate to sound awful, but this isn't something that we can do anything about. No matter where Yukina could have told Yusuke to take her, this was still a possibility. He would never allow anyone but himself to look after her when she's like this. We could have done nothing. All we can do is hope that Urameshi can keep her under control and sober her up a little. If anything started, though, he would never have the courage to hurt her. That's what it would take, too. All we can really do is hope that she either passes out or tries nothing. It's too much to ask that she sober up. She must have drunk quite a bit to become this out of control." Hiei looked at them all. They knew he was right.
"But I can't help but feel that this is my fault." Yukina whispered. Kuwabara rocked her gently.
"I know how you feel. We should never have brought alcohol to this party. It was too much." Kurama looked at the ground.
"This is no one's fault. We can do nothing to prevent people from doing as they wish. If we had not brought the alcohol, or even said that no one could bring alcohol, someone still would have. These are all adults. Adults who abuse the privilege of being able to consume alcohol." Hiei looked straight at all three of them. "Yusuke will be the only one here to help her. Like I have already pointed out; we can do nothing."
"Kami-sama! I hate being worthless!" Kuwabara punched the table.
Yukina looked up; tear gems falling from her cheeks. "Are you sure we can't do something. I want to do something!"
"We can end the party. This will prevent anything else from happening."
"Arigatou, Hiei. You always keep a level head, sort of." Kurama joked.
"Ha. Ha." Hiei glared at him.
For the first time in a while, all of them laughed, including Hiei. If only under a friendly pretense.
"All we can do. Well, it's better than sitting here and contemplating something that we can do nothing about." Kuwabara got up and the four went to usher the guests out.
By now Yusuke had reached his apartment. He opened the door and let Keiko fall in. He caught her before she hit the floor, though. "Come on, you. I think that we need to get you lain down. Don't you agree?"
"Sure, whatever." Same slurred voice.
Yusuke led her to his room and laid her down on the bed. "Here, I think I have a pair of my mother's pajamas here, I'll get them for you." Yusuke offered. Keiko was leaning into the pillow a little too hard to be trying to fall asleep.
"Sure, Yu-chan." She smiled lightly into the pillow. Yusuke left the room and went to the linen closet to retrieve the pajamas. Once he had located them and brought them back into the room, Keiko had stripped off her shirt and skirt. Yusuke blushed and handed her the shorts and tank top outfit.
"Arigatou, Yu-chan." Keiko dressed herself and yawned. She seemed as though she was going to fall asleep when she got up and did something completely unexpected; unexpected by Yusuke at least. She kissed him. Yusuke pulled back roughly.
"Keiko, you need to sleep off this alcohol. Come on." He led her back to the bed.
"Yu-chan?"
"Hai?"
"What are yous doin'?" Keiko slurred and leaned into his chest.
"I'm putting you to bed, Keiko. I know you'll have a hangover when you wake up, but you DID choose to do all this drinking on your own." Yusuke tried to place her in the bed, but she wouldn't let go of his shirt. "Keiko, you need to let go now." Yusuke spoke like he was talking to a disobedient child.
"Iie." She leaned up and kissed him again, this time harder.
"Keiko! Shuushi! You're drunk, shuushi!"
"But I don't want to." She fake pouted and kissed him again.
"You need to go to bed."
"I want to go to bed."
"Good."
"With you." She kissed him again and forcefully unbuttoned and zipped his jeans.
Yusuke tried to push away, but she wouldn't let him. Keiko pushed him down onto the bed and straddled his hips. When she broke the kiss on his mouth, she only proceeded to kiss down his neck and onto his throat.
"Keiko! Shuushi, imaima! Onegai, Keiko!" Through his entire tough exterior Yusuke felt like crying.
"I don't want to. I thought you liked me." She had stopped slurring. Why, Yusuke didn't know.
"I do. I just don't want it to be like THIS! Shuushi, Keiko!" Yusuke felt a tear roll down his cheek.
"Nande? I like you, I don't want to." Keiko kissed him again, this time biting his lip, not in an affectionate way, either. It started to bleed. Keiko licked the blood and kissed him again, even harder.
Yusuke whimpered. He knew he was strong enough to just push her off him, but he didn't want to hurt her! He didn't care what happened to him as long as she wasn't hurt. When she realized what she was doing, this was going to hurt her worse than it was going to hurt him.
Keiko pulled his shirt out of his pants and took it off. She then peeled off his jeans as well.
"Keiko, you need to stop. Now, onegai! I don't want you to do this." Yusuke tried, unsuccessfully, to keep his voice level.
"Nande, Yu-chan? Ai shite iru." She kissed him again. Yusuke was now in pain. Not physically, the cut on his lip no longer hurt; but he was in emotional pain.
"Take it back, Keiko. I don't want you to say that. Not like this. Not now. Not here. Not when you're drunk. I want you to know, consciously, that you are saying that. Not like this. Onegai, Keiko-chan, take it back."
"Nande, Yu-chan. I don't want to." She said in a playful voice.
"You don't know what you're doing, Keiko!" Yusuke pleaded desperately.
"Hai, I know exactly what I am doing. I am going to do what I've always wanted to do. I am going to make love to you. Right now." She pulled off her shirt and shorts and kissed him once more.
Yusuke gave up then. He gave up completely and tried to stop his mind from thinking of what his best friend was doing. He let it wander to the past. Wander to when they first met, playful little children. To how they used to talk. To how he always protected her. The last thing on Yusuke's mind before he became dead to the world was Keiko smiling at him when they had first met. Such a sweet smile.
Yusuke woke up naked and in pain. He knew why automatically. He could remember everything up to Keiko undressing herself. Everything after that was hazy. He didn't even try to remember. He tried to push the whole thing out of his mind. He became aware of Keiko's presence next to him when she moaned in her sleep. He knew what that meant. Keiko always moaned when she was ready to wake up. Yusuke didn't want to be there any more. He wanted to get as far away as possible from the one he loved. He got out of bed gently, wincing in pain. He ached everywhere. From his neck to his ankles. His head hurt so badly that it wasn't even describable. It wasn't pain; it was agony! He walked over to the closet and pulled out an outfit. He got dressed and turned around to look at Keiko. His eyes watered and he had to look away. He gathered up her clothing, they reeked of alcohol. He decided that he didn't have time to wash them. He just laid them on the bed stand and left the apartment. On the way out he brushed his hair and looked in a mirror. He only looked as though he hadn't slept well, nothing else. No, he took that back. He had half a dozen small cuts and bruises on his neck. Luckily it was winter so he could get away with wearing a turtleneck. He slipped one on over his T- shirt and left the building, not wanting to be there when Keiko awoke.
Yusuke headed over to the grocery store to pick up a few things, he knew that this was a good way to burn time. He hoped that Keiko would be gone when he got back.
Once at the grocery store, Yusuke ran into Yukina and Kuwabara. They were both getting things needed for their little apartment.
"Oi, Urameshi!" Kuwabara ran over to him. "How'd it go last night? Did you get Keiko to your place all right?"
"Hai. She was a pain to get to fall asleep though." Yusuke ran a hand through his hair and yawned dramatically.
Kuwabara seemed to laugh with relief. "Yukina'll be glad." He summoned her over and repeated what Yusuke had told him. Yukina sighed and put a hand on her chest.
"Good. I'm just glad that nothing happened." She smiled lightly.
"Same here." Kuwabara nodded. Yusuke pretended to look dumbfounded.
"What did you think happened?"
"Nothing!" Yukina amended quickly. Yusuke pretended to buy it.
"OK. See you later." With that, he paid for his groceries and headed back to his apartment. They had obviously predicted what would happen. Yusuke decided that he'd rather face Keiko than them. Only by a little, though. He still hoped that she would have left by the time he got home.
When Yusuke reached his apartment, he heard a light sobbing sound from inside. Keiko was obviously still there. He suddenly realized the stupidity of him leaving. She was obviously going to wait around! Yusuke decided to face her. He went into the apartment, ready to speak, but as he say her look up at him-tear stained eyes and all-his courage left him and he subconsciously decided to ignore her as much as possible.
"Yusuke, what happened?" Keiko had dressed herself and was obviously frightened. "Why am I here?"
"You got drunk so I brought you here." He replied in a voice devoid of emotion.
"Why wasn't I. dressed?" She looked mildly panicked.
"That was your own fault." Yusuke regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth as he saw her face pale.
"What do you mean?" Keiko muttered, barely above a whisper.
"There was no way you could have helped what you were thinking." Yusuke quickly amended. "You weren't really conscious enough. You had too much to drink." Yusuke knew perfectly well that she had been conscious. He just didn't want her to feel bad. "It was my fault, too. I should have stopped you."
"Yusuke, stop playing and tell me what the fuck happened!" Keiko was obviously in a panicked state.
"I don't know how to put this without hurting you." Yusuke mumbled almost inaudibly. Keiko tried to look him in the eye, but couldn't. Due to his looking down, though, he had revealed a few of the marks on his neck.
"What happened to your neck?" Keiko asked, not much louder than him. When he didn't reply, Keiko noticed that there were tears running down his cheeks. What he had been trying to say finally hit her in the face like a ton of bricks. "I did that. I know what you were trying to say." She couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth. "I hurt you. I-I. forced you to sleep with me!" She suddenly held her face and collapsed. Yusuke caught her before she hit the ground. She looked at his face. He was crying. She couldn't tell if it was from physical or mental pain. "Is that what happened?"
"Hai." He looked at the floor. "I tried to stop you, I swear, but I didn't want to hurt you."
"So you let yourself be hurt?" She collapsed against his chest. "Nande? Why did you do it? I didn't deserve that kindness."
"I could never hurt you Keiko. Not even if you were going to kill me." He wrapped his arms around her.
"I feel as though I am going to be sick. Not from alcohol, either." She started sobbing and he comforted her. "Why do you still care? Nande? I don't understand."
"Because, I have to. My head tells me that this isn't worth it, but my heart tells me not to let go. I like my heart's version of this situation better." He held her to him roughly and kissed her head. "I forgive you. I always will. No matter what you do."
"Arigatou." She smiled lightly. "May I see you neck?"
"Hai." He lifted his sweater off. Keiko felt herself become sicker and wrapped her arms tightly around him.
"Gomen nasai, Yusuke. I can't repay you for still caring, ever." She sobbed harder that she had been before.
"Forget it happened, Keiko. Just forget all about it." He held her to him.
"I can't. I will never be able to. Gomen nasai, Yusuke, but I can't let it go." She looked at the floor. "I should go. I am causing you pain, Yusuke. That's the last thing that I EVER wanted to do. Ever. I can't stand this anymore. I have to go." She stood up. "You'd be better off if you never saw me again." With that, she ran out the door, sobbing. Yusuke watched her leave and let the tears fall slowly from his eyes.
Due to his youkai blood, Yusuke healed faster than most people and the wounds on his body were gone in no time. The ones on his heart, however, just grew deeper and more painful. He hadn't seen Keiko in three weeks. She had locked herself up in her small house and wouldn't even answer the door. Not even to Yusuke. The others had realized that something happened the day that Keiko didn't show up to her classes. Yusuke, however, refused to talk about it.
"Yusuke, we can't help you OR her unless one of you tells us what happened!" Kurama pushed.
"He's right, you know." Hiei agreed. Kuwabara, Yukina, Shizuru, and Botan nodded as well.
Yusuke remained silent and slammed the door of his apartment in their faces. He was going to break into Keiko's home to find out how she was. He didn't care if he got arrested. He had to know.
That night, Yusuke crept out of his apartment and over to her house. He got the door unlocked in no time at all. He crept in quietly. A melody crept towards his senses.
Endless love egaku yume no
Atsusa dakishimete
Can't stop heart sotto namida
Akureru yoru demo.
Endless love hitomi tojite
Toiki kasanereba
Can't stop heart futari dake no
Futari ni nareru
Inori to shitou ga surechigau ko no machi
Sore de mo yasashisa wasurezuni itakute
Ah senaka wo osu anata no nukumori
Ah kanjiteitai kitogomi no naka demo
The house was dark, not a single noise besides the gentle echo of a melodic separation could be heard. The house was untouched, as it always was: neat, nicely decorated, welcoming, friendly. Pictures covered the walls, their smiling silence was shifting. An eternal smiling face. impossible. Eternal happiness.even more so. But a lingering flutter of warmth and love. that was attainable. A picturesque life was just that.only seen in a copy of reality.
Yusuke found his way through the familiar building, making his way towards the source of the music. It was coming from a small study, the one at the end of the hall. Used for a computer room, or a reading room, or even a gym on occasion, the room was cozy and just right for being alone.
Unexplainably, Yusuke couldn't shake a feeling of nervousness from creeping into his body. He made his way into the room, the reason for his fear becoming horrifyingly justified. The gentle oozing of blood from two shallow cuts to each wrist was slowing some, proof of having been doing so for quite some time. The flesh around the cuts was almost pure white, the remaining visible flesh of the body the same color.
Only his years of having killed and seen murder gave Yusuke the strength to walk forward then, to lean down and feel for a pulse, to not cry out then and there. The pulse was nonexistent. It wouldn't come back, either, not for all the blood, time, or love in the world. Yusuke dropped to his knees, allowing the tears to flow from his eyes. Their constant flow in perfect tune with the music that seemed to echo throughout his being.
Ah sunao ni naki mujekini waraeru
Ah ashita wo kureru anata wo mamoritai
Endless love egaku yume no
Atsusa dakishimete
Can't stop heart sotto namida
Akureru yoru demo.
Endless love hitomi tojite
Toiki kasanereba
Can't stop heart futari dake no
Futari ni nareru
Okay.done now, thank God. That friggin thing creeps ME out, y'know? Not cool. Anyway, I was sick of all the little "oh, so-and-so got raped by his/her lover, but they worked everything out in the end". Uh, you guys, what do you think rape IS?!? A game? A love ploy? Um, excuse me! Hello, nice to meet you, I'm common sense! Sorry, that was rather attacking. But, I do believe that society writes about rape just a tad too lightly. Anyway, C and C welcome, reviews, in other words. Thanks for reading! ~Ann
*The song "Endless Love" belongs to TWO-MIX. For those who want to read the whole song and the translation, here it is.
ENDLESS LOVE
By: TWO-MIX Kagami ni utsushita naïve na jyouatsu
Tsumetaku kokoro de yure ugoku genjitsu
Ah kizutsuku tabi hiruete yuku kedo
Ah dakedo dareka no seini ha shitakunai
Deai to wakare ni narete yuku kono machi
Sore de mo ai dake wasurezuni itakute
Ah sunao ni naki mujekini waraeru
Ah ashita wo kureru anata wo mamoritai
Endless love egaku yume no
Atsusa dakishimete
Can't stop heart sotto namida
Akureru yoru demo.
Endless love hitomi tojite
Toiki kasanereba
Can't stop heart futari dake no
Futari ni nareru
Inori to shitou ga surechigau ko no machi
Sore de mo yasashisa wasurezuni itakute
Ah senaka wo osu anata no nukumori
Ah kanjiteitai kitogomi no naka demo
Endless life itami kakae
Toki wo choueteyuku
Can't stop beat kaze ga fuite
Nemurenu yoru demo.
Endless life imare kawaru
Tsuyosa wo sagashite
Can't stop beat jibun rashii
Futari ni nareru
Ah sunao ni naki mujekini waraeru
Ah ashita wo kureru anata wo mamoritai
Endless love egaku yume no
Atsusa dakishimete
Can't stop heart sotto namida
Akureru yoru demo.
Endless love hitomi tojite
Toiki kasanereba
Can't stop heart futari dake no
Futari ni nareru
(translation)
Reflected in the mirror is the warmth of such naïve affection ---
The reality just wavers in that cold heart.
Ah. go ahead flinching everytime from getting hurt.
Ah. but you're not prepared for someone like me.
We're already used to meeting and exchanging goodbyes in the street
But it is still too painful for us to not forget our love
Ah. gently weep. innocently smile.
Ah. I want to protect you, give tomorrow to you.
Endless love. paint a dream of warmth
as I hold you close in my arms
Can't stop heart. quietly cry openly.
even in the night.
Endless love. close your eyes
if those gasps of breath are piling up.
Can't stop heart. no more than a couple ---
Two little beings just getting used to each other.
Passing by this place, we unexpectedly make a mistake with that prayer
And it just hurts --- nevertheless, we couldn't just forget that tenderness.
Ah. I'll pull you out and push your back for you.
Ah. I can still feel your pain even when you're in that crowd.
Endless life. have that pain
Time will still go beyond
Can't stop beat. the wind blows.
Fall asleep. even in this night.
Endless life. turn life around
And look for that strength.
Can't stop beat. seemingly alone ---
Two little beings just getting used to each other.
Ah. gently weep. innocently smile.
Ah. I want to protect you, give tomorrow to you.
Endless love. paint a dream of warmth
as I hold you close in my arms
Can't stop heart. quietly cry openly.
even in the night.
Endless love. close your eyes
if those gasps of breath are piling up.
Can't stop heart. no more than a couple ---
Two little beings just getting used to each other.
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, it belongs to the wonderful people who thought it up.
Warnings: Language, Rape (implied, not detailed), Death
*************
Urameshi Yusuke groaned and rolled his eyes as his girlfriend, Keiko, reprimanded him once more; he couldn't even figure out what he had done! She was saying something about his manners and how he shouldn't hit on every girl that he passed. Yusuke couldn't quite figure out how Kuwabara Kazuma - his one time enemy, but currently one of his best friends and his sparring partner - had talked him into this! Today was Keiko's birthday and he was to keep her away from her house; where the others - Kuwabara, Kurama, Yukina, Botan, Hiei, Shizuru, and, surprisingly, Koenma-sama - were setting up for her surprise party. Practically everyone they knew was invited, since this was Keiko's 21st birthday. They had all decided that they were going to get Keiko to drink at least one glass of wine, it was tradition! They had beer and wine ordered for the party, plus a little sake for Shizuru. This was bound to be. interesting. to say the least!
Yusuke had a few problems with his role. First off, he had to get by with Keiko after him because he didn't get her a birthday present. I mean, best friends should always get each other gifts, shouldn't they? Secondly, he had to keep her away from her own house! When they had left that morning, Keiko had forgotten her purse and Yusuke couldn't let her go back. Thus, he was forced to pay for everything they did. They certainly did plenty of things, too! Yusuke hadn't gotten very much sleep last night either; he had been too worried about the upcoming day. He had - perhaps foolishly - gotten Keiko a ruby necklace that he was sure he'd be paying off until he was fifty! He had also bought her a new skirt, just in case he wimped out and didn't give her the necklace.
Considering Yusuke had picked Keiko up at eight thirty that morning and it was currently three in the afternoon, Keiko was starting to get annoyed at his presence. Yusuke could almost say the same! But, he knew it was worth it: he wanted to see Keiko's expression at five when he led her into her house and everyone jumped out at them. Yusuke knew it was coming, so he, personally, wouldn't jump too much. Seeing Keiko's expression was definitely something he was looking forward to!
"Yusuke! Aren't you listening to me? I just told you that I want to go home now! I have to start cooking supper now!" Keiko glared at him.
"Keiko, you can't go yet, I wanted to go to the three o'clock movie! You can just get take-out!"
"Fine! What movie are we going to?"
"Akira! Come on!" Yusuke grabbed her arm and pulled her down the road to the theatre, this would take up the last two hours that he needed to burn. Once at the theatre Yusuke bought the tickets, soda, and popcorn for both of them. He was running slightly low on cash, but that was OK. As long as it kept Keiko entertained and happy.
They watched the movie in silence until about the middle when Keiko fell asleep on Yusuke's shoulder. Yusuke just looked down at her and blushed. He finished watching the movie before he decided to wake her. When the lights went back on, some of the people surrounding them commented on how cute they looked and Yusuke blushed again. He shook Keiko awake lightly and looked at his watch, three past five. Good, they weren't early.
"Keiko, time to head back to your place!" Yusuke said lightly.
"Really? OK, let's go. Can we get an ice-cream on the way?" She was still half asleep.
"Sure." Yusuke burned his last five dollars on their ice cream. Damn! I'm outta cash! She better not want anything else for the time being! Yusuke thought.
He helped Keiko home, as she was tired. Yusuke realized that he probably shouldn't have wasted her energy. Well, he had been told to keep her from her house until five, and thus he did so! It wasn't his fault if she was tired. As they turned the corner to Keiko's, Yusuke noticed that the lights were off; this meant that they were ready, now it was time to party!
Keiko took out her key and let them into the house. The moment she was fully in the door, the lights flashed on and everyone jumped out.
"SURPRISE!!!!!" Everyone yelled at once. Keiko practically flew backwards into Yusuke, causing him to loose his balance and the two tumbled backwards onto the porch. When they both looked into the living room, everyone was laughing. Keiko punched Yusuke.
"Is this why you didn't let me go home?"
"Hai!" Yusuke smirked. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?"
"Iie, Yusuke-kun." Keiko laughed.
"This was all Yukina and Shizuru's idea, don't blame us if you hate it!" Kuwabara put his arm on Yusuke's shoulders.
"I should go and thank them." Everyone laughed. "If you two had planned it, we would have wound up with some sort of stripper!"
"I'm hurt!" Yusuke faked being wounded and collapsed backwards.
"Keiko-chan, did you notice that we got practically everybody to come?" Yukina asked politely.
"Hai! It's wonderful, Yukina-chan!" Keiko looked thoroughly pleased.
"Alright, let's let Keiko open her gifts now!" Shizuru exclaimed. "Then we can play birthday games!"
"Like what, Shizuru-chan?" Keiko asked.
"Well, spin the bottle, I've never, Truth or Dare, etc. Won't this be fun?" Shizuru asked, smiling profusely.
"Great. How fun." Keiko looked as though she were trying to find the quickest way out of there.
"Come on, open your gifts!" Yukina exclaimed in a very un-Yukina fashion. Everybody looked at her and sweatdropped. "I want to see if she likes my gift!" Yukina exclaimed with a tear gem forming in her eye.
"Don't cry, Yukina-chan! I'll open them now!" Keiko didn't want anyone that was there - and wasn't a member of the Urameshi Team - to see that the girl cried gems and not tears.
Yukina brightened up quite a bit. "Sugoi! I can't wait!"
Keiko sat down on the floor and watched as dozens of gifts were laid before her. "Sugoi."
Keiko received many small things, like CDs, hair accessories, gift certificates; but her good friends each got her more personal gifts. She got to open those last. First was Kurama's gift. He had gotten her a bouquet with a special note attached to it. Keiko read it and blushed, quickly hiding it in her pocket. Botan wanted to go next; she had gotten Keiko a pair of Prussian blue earrings. These Keiko guessed had some other purpose that Botan would tell her in private. Next was Shizuru's gift. Keiko looked slightly upset when she noticed it was a CD, but then noticed that Shizuru had made the CD herself. She had obviously put effort into it. Keiko read the song list and blushed again. These people sure were persistent! Kuwabara handed her his gift next and Keiko opened it with dread. Surprisingly, it was nice. He had given her a pretty dress. It was dark blue and looked like something out of a Shakespearean play. It had lace on the sleeves and front and it laced up. It was form fitting and Keiko could tell that it would fit her perfectly because the measurements were on the tag. She wondered how Kuwabara had gotten her measurements right. She guessed that Yusuke had given them to him. Keiko didn't quite remember giving them to him, though. Next was Hiei's gift. It wasn't wrapped very nicely, but that's Hiei for you! It contained a small leather bag. Inside the bag were eight different stones, each a different color and shape. They all had symbols on them. Keiko figured that they were something from Makai and thanked Hiei, asking exactly what they were. He told her that they were just some gems that he had found about twenty years ago. The guests who didn't know him that well stared at him kind of funny. Keiko knew that there was more to it than that, but decided to ask him later, or just ask Yusuke what was written on them. Next was Yukina's gift. Keiko gasped at the pretty gift. It was a chain of gems: tear gems! Yukina told her that it was for protection. Koenma handed her his gift next. It was big and heavy. She opened it; a book on EVERYTHING she had EVER done! Keiko just stared. She thanked him of course, and put the book someplace safe. He told her that it filled itself in as she did new things, even now. Lastly was Yusuke's gift. He had chickened out and was giving her the skirt as his party gift. He had decided to give her the necklace in private. When Keiko saw that it was only a skirt, she felt a little sad, but decided that she would thank him anyway. She didn't let her disappointment show.
"Thank you, minna-san, for the wonderful gifts!" Keiko bowed politely.
"OK! Time for a little drink!" Shizuru smiled. Keiko suddenly looked pale.
"You didn't get alcohol, did you?"
"Of course! You're twenty-one now! You can drink!" Keiko paled even more. "Just one drink?"
"Fine. Just one, though." Keiko took the glass that someone had poured for her and swallowed it. She coughed and hiccupped.
"How was it?" Shizuru asked.
"Fine."
"Take another. It didn't kill you, now did it?"
"Oh, all right." Everyone cheered.
Two hours later, practically everyone was wasted. With the exceptions of four people. They were: - surprisingly - Kuwabara, Yukina, Kurama, and Yusuke. The four of them sat around a table and talked, attempting to ignore all the drunken people.
"Well, who knew that we'd be the only ones not wasted? Ya'd think the opposite!" Kuwabara laughed.
"Same here. Too bad Hiei left right away, we would have been able to tease him about it!" Yusuke laughed back.
"You two have had some alcohol, though, right?" Kurama asked. He had been taking sips off the same glass of wine all night.
"Nope. Yukina thinks that it's bad for me, so I don't do it." Kuwabara laughed.
"I had a glass, then decided to help Yukina keep this big oaf away from the alcohol table!" Yusuke laughed harder.
"Interesting. What about you, Yukina? Have you had a drink yet?" Kurama asked.
"Iie. I don't drink. The Koorime get drunken too easily. When we are drunk, we get very, very short tempered. It's not a pretty sight!" She laughed. Kurama and Yusuke looked at each other, sweatdropping.
"No offense, Yusuke, but you don't seem to be yourself. What's the matter?" Kurama asked politely.
"Oh, nothing big!" Yusuke just smiled.
"Really? It wouldn't have to do with. say. Keiko? Would it?"
"It does. But it's not that big of a deal, Kurama. I just wanted to give her my gift, that's all. I just can't seem to find an opening where she's not with somebody else."
"Well, you may want to give it to her tomorrow, as dear Keiko seems to be drunk." Yukina pointed out.
"Yeah, I know. If we weren't already at her house, I would have taken her home by now." Yusuke looked slightly nervous. "I've never heard her say anything about drinking, ever. She always said that she never wanted to drink. That it was a 'horrid habit'." His eyes trailed the spot where Keiko was sitting and conversing with a boy from their college.
"Well, I would have to agree with that." Kurama nodded. "She never seemed the type who would go and get drunk right away. I guess if something bad happens, we can just blame Shizuru for making her take a drink."
"Oi! This isn't Shizuru's fault! She wouldn't have made Keiko drink if she hadn't really wanted to. She caved and Shizuru won!" Kuwabara glared at the redheaded, reincarnated youko.
"Ooh! Kazuma! I love this song! Will you dance with me?" Yukina got up and grabbed his hand. They all noticed that "Chicken Bone" by Megumi Hayashibara had come on. "Onegai? Kazuma-kun?"
"All right, Yukina-chan." Kuwabara "caved" as the girl he loved eyed him pleadingly. They got up and danced, leaving the sober Kurama and Yusuke to themselves.
"So, Yusuke, when are you going to ask Keiko?" Kurama grinned devilishly. (Not a good thing. Also a creepy thought.)
"Uhh." He muttered aimlessly. "Nani?"
"When will you ask Keiko-chan to marry you?" Kurama laughed lightly.
"Why would I ask her to marry me?" Yusuke shot back, a little to quickly.
"Because we all know you'll wind up married sooner or later, and you may as well get the hard part over with." Kurama smiled. "And it shouldn't take this much time for two people who love each other as much as you two do to get together.marriage or dating, it's obvious you need to progress before you hit a wall. I pride myself in being able to see these things."
"Then why did it take so long for you and Hiei to go out?" Yusuke grinned ruthlessly.
"My mother didn't approve." Yusuke glared at him, annoyed that he had been beaten.
"Ask her. The worst she can do is say no and laugh at you like there's no tomorrow." Kurama smiled kindly, contradicting his comment.
"Oi, arigatou." Yusuke glared at him. "That made me feel sooo much better!"
"Just being honest." Kurama put his hands up in an I-give-up-so-don't-hurt- me way.
"How about lying for a change?" Yusuke groaned.
"At least give her that wonderful gift you bought her last week." Kurama smiled pleasantly.
"I'm starting to believe that you have been following me around, Kurama! I hope that I am wrong in my assumption?" Yusuke looked at him in a way that meant say-something-to-make-me-happy-or-you-may-die-a-painful-death.
"It was Hiei's idea. He said that you were up to something, so we followed you." Kurama just shrugged. "I shouldn't think that there is anything wrong with that."
"." Yusuke just glared. He was about to make a nasty comeback when Kuwabara walked up behind him and grabbed him. "Oi! Have you gotten into a little too much sake?" He looked up at the other man incredulously.
"You better go check on Keiko, she didn't look too good." Kuwabara looked as though he'd seen something that he didn't want to.
"Was she throwing up or something?"
"Iie. You just need to go and look." He was extremely pale.
"What do you mean?" Yusuke looked slightly panicked.
"I think that she may have a boyfriend for the night. And I don't think it's you."
Yusuke got up and left the room so quickly you would have thought that four S-class youkai were on his tail.
"Kuwabara, what did you mean by that?" Kurama asked hurriedly.
"I think she got a little too drunk."
"Nani?"
"She may be sleeping with someone. And unless there are two Urameshis, it ain't Yusuke." He looked like he was going to throw up.
"Oh, Kami-sama." Kurama sat back, hard.
"I hope he gets there in time. I know how much they care for one another." Kuwabara looked at his feet. "She'd hate to make such a mistake. Hate herself, I mean."
"Yes, Keiko would have to be pretty drunk to do something like this." Kurama looked extremely distressed.
Meanwhile, Yusuke was heading down the longs halls of Keiko's home. He found Yukina waiting outside one of them. "Where is she?"
"In there, don't hurt anyone, onegai?" Yukina looked ready to cry, in fact, she already was. There were tear gems all over the floor.
"I'm going to do whatever it takes for her to not make a mistake." Yusuke looked more determined than Yukina had ever seen him.
"Why don't you take her back to your place and clean her up a bit?"
"All right, you go and wait with Kuwabara." Yusuke smiled reassuringly at her.
"OK." She went down the hall.
Yusuke walked into the room, completely ignoring what the pair was doing. They were very close to taking each other's clothing off. "Keiko?! What the hell are you doing? Come on, let's get you out of here." Yusuke reached down and grabbed her arm.
"Iie, Yusuke-kun. I'm comfy." Keiko slurred. It came out more like: Ey, Uuski-kun. I's cunfie.
"Iie, we're going." He pulled her out of the room and out the back door of the house. The boy in the bed looked out the door bewildered for about a minute before passing out.
Back in the living room, Yukina sat down uncomfortably. "I don't like this."
"Neither do I." Kuwabara put his arm around her shoulders comfortingly. "But I trust Yusuke. He would NEVER let anything happen to Keiko. EVER."
"Hai, you're right, Kazuma-kun." Yukina smiled and sunk into his chest.
"Where did you tell him to take her?"
"Back to his place, why?" Yukina looked questioningly at Kurama, the asker of the question.
"If Keiko is drunk, and alone with Yusuke, that may not be such a good idea." They all paled as realization hit them.
"Iie! I should never have said that!" Yukina started sobbing, tear gems were everywhere. They were about to calm her when there was a soft knock at the door. Kurama got up to get it when the door opened from the outside.
"Oh, Hiei, I thought that you were going back to the apartment?"
"Hai, I was, and I did, but I got bored, so I came back." He just shrugged.
"Oh. All right."
"What's bothering you?"
"Sit down." Kurama pointed to the table where Kuwabara was trying, if unsuccessfully, to calm the sobbing Koorime.
"What happened to Yukina?" Hiei, the ever protective elder brother, asked with mirth.
"Just sit down." Kurama motioned to the table and Hiei obliged, if only to find out what was bothering his Imouto.
"Now, tell me what's going on." Hiei didn't look happy.
"Keiko got drunk." Kuwabara said placidly.
"So what?"
"And almost slept with a guy."
"."
"So Yusuke went to get her."
"And?"
"Yukina told him to take her back to his house to clean her up."
"Point being?"
"She was DRUNK, Hiei." Kurama looked him in the eye and the little fire demon's eyes widened.
"She's in love with Urameshi."
"Hai."
"So she may."
"Hai. That's what has Yukina worried. She thinks that if anything happens it will be her fault." Kurama looked at the poor sobbing girl.
"I hate to sound awful, but this isn't something that we can do anything about. No matter where Yukina could have told Yusuke to take her, this was still a possibility. He would never allow anyone but himself to look after her when she's like this. We could have done nothing. All we can do is hope that Urameshi can keep her under control and sober her up a little. If anything started, though, he would never have the courage to hurt her. That's what it would take, too. All we can really do is hope that she either passes out or tries nothing. It's too much to ask that she sober up. She must have drunk quite a bit to become this out of control." Hiei looked at them all. They knew he was right.
"But I can't help but feel that this is my fault." Yukina whispered. Kuwabara rocked her gently.
"I know how you feel. We should never have brought alcohol to this party. It was too much." Kurama looked at the ground.
"This is no one's fault. We can do nothing to prevent people from doing as they wish. If we had not brought the alcohol, or even said that no one could bring alcohol, someone still would have. These are all adults. Adults who abuse the privilege of being able to consume alcohol." Hiei looked straight at all three of them. "Yusuke will be the only one here to help her. Like I have already pointed out; we can do nothing."
"Kami-sama! I hate being worthless!" Kuwabara punched the table.
Yukina looked up; tear gems falling from her cheeks. "Are you sure we can't do something. I want to do something!"
"We can end the party. This will prevent anything else from happening."
"Arigatou, Hiei. You always keep a level head, sort of." Kurama joked.
"Ha. Ha." Hiei glared at him.
For the first time in a while, all of them laughed, including Hiei. If only under a friendly pretense.
"All we can do. Well, it's better than sitting here and contemplating something that we can do nothing about." Kuwabara got up and the four went to usher the guests out.
By now Yusuke had reached his apartment. He opened the door and let Keiko fall in. He caught her before she hit the floor, though. "Come on, you. I think that we need to get you lain down. Don't you agree?"
"Sure, whatever." Same slurred voice.
Yusuke led her to his room and laid her down on the bed. "Here, I think I have a pair of my mother's pajamas here, I'll get them for you." Yusuke offered. Keiko was leaning into the pillow a little too hard to be trying to fall asleep.
"Sure, Yu-chan." She smiled lightly into the pillow. Yusuke left the room and went to the linen closet to retrieve the pajamas. Once he had located them and brought them back into the room, Keiko had stripped off her shirt and skirt. Yusuke blushed and handed her the shorts and tank top outfit.
"Arigatou, Yu-chan." Keiko dressed herself and yawned. She seemed as though she was going to fall asleep when she got up and did something completely unexpected; unexpected by Yusuke at least. She kissed him. Yusuke pulled back roughly.
"Keiko, you need to sleep off this alcohol. Come on." He led her back to the bed.
"Yu-chan?"
"Hai?"
"What are yous doin'?" Keiko slurred and leaned into his chest.
"I'm putting you to bed, Keiko. I know you'll have a hangover when you wake up, but you DID choose to do all this drinking on your own." Yusuke tried to place her in the bed, but she wouldn't let go of his shirt. "Keiko, you need to let go now." Yusuke spoke like he was talking to a disobedient child.
"Iie." She leaned up and kissed him again, this time harder.
"Keiko! Shuushi! You're drunk, shuushi!"
"But I don't want to." She fake pouted and kissed him again.
"You need to go to bed."
"I want to go to bed."
"Good."
"With you." She kissed him again and forcefully unbuttoned and zipped his jeans.
Yusuke tried to push away, but she wouldn't let him. Keiko pushed him down onto the bed and straddled his hips. When she broke the kiss on his mouth, she only proceeded to kiss down his neck and onto his throat.
"Keiko! Shuushi, imaima! Onegai, Keiko!" Through his entire tough exterior Yusuke felt like crying.
"I don't want to. I thought you liked me." She had stopped slurring. Why, Yusuke didn't know.
"I do. I just don't want it to be like THIS! Shuushi, Keiko!" Yusuke felt a tear roll down his cheek.
"Nande? I like you, I don't want to." Keiko kissed him again, this time biting his lip, not in an affectionate way, either. It started to bleed. Keiko licked the blood and kissed him again, even harder.
Yusuke whimpered. He knew he was strong enough to just push her off him, but he didn't want to hurt her! He didn't care what happened to him as long as she wasn't hurt. When she realized what she was doing, this was going to hurt her worse than it was going to hurt him.
Keiko pulled his shirt out of his pants and took it off. She then peeled off his jeans as well.
"Keiko, you need to stop. Now, onegai! I don't want you to do this." Yusuke tried, unsuccessfully, to keep his voice level.
"Nande, Yu-chan? Ai shite iru." She kissed him again. Yusuke was now in pain. Not physically, the cut on his lip no longer hurt; but he was in emotional pain.
"Take it back, Keiko. I don't want you to say that. Not like this. Not now. Not here. Not when you're drunk. I want you to know, consciously, that you are saying that. Not like this. Onegai, Keiko-chan, take it back."
"Nande, Yu-chan. I don't want to." She said in a playful voice.
"You don't know what you're doing, Keiko!" Yusuke pleaded desperately.
"Hai, I know exactly what I am doing. I am going to do what I've always wanted to do. I am going to make love to you. Right now." She pulled off her shirt and shorts and kissed him once more.
Yusuke gave up then. He gave up completely and tried to stop his mind from thinking of what his best friend was doing. He let it wander to the past. Wander to when they first met, playful little children. To how they used to talk. To how he always protected her. The last thing on Yusuke's mind before he became dead to the world was Keiko smiling at him when they had first met. Such a sweet smile.
Yusuke woke up naked and in pain. He knew why automatically. He could remember everything up to Keiko undressing herself. Everything after that was hazy. He didn't even try to remember. He tried to push the whole thing out of his mind. He became aware of Keiko's presence next to him when she moaned in her sleep. He knew what that meant. Keiko always moaned when she was ready to wake up. Yusuke didn't want to be there any more. He wanted to get as far away as possible from the one he loved. He got out of bed gently, wincing in pain. He ached everywhere. From his neck to his ankles. His head hurt so badly that it wasn't even describable. It wasn't pain; it was agony! He walked over to the closet and pulled out an outfit. He got dressed and turned around to look at Keiko. His eyes watered and he had to look away. He gathered up her clothing, they reeked of alcohol. He decided that he didn't have time to wash them. He just laid them on the bed stand and left the apartment. On the way out he brushed his hair and looked in a mirror. He only looked as though he hadn't slept well, nothing else. No, he took that back. He had half a dozen small cuts and bruises on his neck. Luckily it was winter so he could get away with wearing a turtleneck. He slipped one on over his T- shirt and left the building, not wanting to be there when Keiko awoke.
Yusuke headed over to the grocery store to pick up a few things, he knew that this was a good way to burn time. He hoped that Keiko would be gone when he got back.
Once at the grocery store, Yusuke ran into Yukina and Kuwabara. They were both getting things needed for their little apartment.
"Oi, Urameshi!" Kuwabara ran over to him. "How'd it go last night? Did you get Keiko to your place all right?"
"Hai. She was a pain to get to fall asleep though." Yusuke ran a hand through his hair and yawned dramatically.
Kuwabara seemed to laugh with relief. "Yukina'll be glad." He summoned her over and repeated what Yusuke had told him. Yukina sighed and put a hand on her chest.
"Good. I'm just glad that nothing happened." She smiled lightly.
"Same here." Kuwabara nodded. Yusuke pretended to look dumbfounded.
"What did you think happened?"
"Nothing!" Yukina amended quickly. Yusuke pretended to buy it.
"OK. See you later." With that, he paid for his groceries and headed back to his apartment. They had obviously predicted what would happen. Yusuke decided that he'd rather face Keiko than them. Only by a little, though. He still hoped that she would have left by the time he got home.
When Yusuke reached his apartment, he heard a light sobbing sound from inside. Keiko was obviously still there. He suddenly realized the stupidity of him leaving. She was obviously going to wait around! Yusuke decided to face her. He went into the apartment, ready to speak, but as he say her look up at him-tear stained eyes and all-his courage left him and he subconsciously decided to ignore her as much as possible.
"Yusuke, what happened?" Keiko had dressed herself and was obviously frightened. "Why am I here?"
"You got drunk so I brought you here." He replied in a voice devoid of emotion.
"Why wasn't I. dressed?" She looked mildly panicked.
"That was your own fault." Yusuke regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth as he saw her face pale.
"What do you mean?" Keiko muttered, barely above a whisper.
"There was no way you could have helped what you were thinking." Yusuke quickly amended. "You weren't really conscious enough. You had too much to drink." Yusuke knew perfectly well that she had been conscious. He just didn't want her to feel bad. "It was my fault, too. I should have stopped you."
"Yusuke, stop playing and tell me what the fuck happened!" Keiko was obviously in a panicked state.
"I don't know how to put this without hurting you." Yusuke mumbled almost inaudibly. Keiko tried to look him in the eye, but couldn't. Due to his looking down, though, he had revealed a few of the marks on his neck.
"What happened to your neck?" Keiko asked, not much louder than him. When he didn't reply, Keiko noticed that there were tears running down his cheeks. What he had been trying to say finally hit her in the face like a ton of bricks. "I did that. I know what you were trying to say." She couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth. "I hurt you. I-I. forced you to sleep with me!" She suddenly held her face and collapsed. Yusuke caught her before she hit the ground. She looked at his face. He was crying. She couldn't tell if it was from physical or mental pain. "Is that what happened?"
"Hai." He looked at the floor. "I tried to stop you, I swear, but I didn't want to hurt you."
"So you let yourself be hurt?" She collapsed against his chest. "Nande? Why did you do it? I didn't deserve that kindness."
"I could never hurt you Keiko. Not even if you were going to kill me." He wrapped his arms around her.
"I feel as though I am going to be sick. Not from alcohol, either." She started sobbing and he comforted her. "Why do you still care? Nande? I don't understand."
"Because, I have to. My head tells me that this isn't worth it, but my heart tells me not to let go. I like my heart's version of this situation better." He held her to him roughly and kissed her head. "I forgive you. I always will. No matter what you do."
"Arigatou." She smiled lightly. "May I see you neck?"
"Hai." He lifted his sweater off. Keiko felt herself become sicker and wrapped her arms tightly around him.
"Gomen nasai, Yusuke. I can't repay you for still caring, ever." She sobbed harder that she had been before.
"Forget it happened, Keiko. Just forget all about it." He held her to him.
"I can't. I will never be able to. Gomen nasai, Yusuke, but I can't let it go." She looked at the floor. "I should go. I am causing you pain, Yusuke. That's the last thing that I EVER wanted to do. Ever. I can't stand this anymore. I have to go." She stood up. "You'd be better off if you never saw me again." With that, she ran out the door, sobbing. Yusuke watched her leave and let the tears fall slowly from his eyes.
Due to his youkai blood, Yusuke healed faster than most people and the wounds on his body were gone in no time. The ones on his heart, however, just grew deeper and more painful. He hadn't seen Keiko in three weeks. She had locked herself up in her small house and wouldn't even answer the door. Not even to Yusuke. The others had realized that something happened the day that Keiko didn't show up to her classes. Yusuke, however, refused to talk about it.
"Yusuke, we can't help you OR her unless one of you tells us what happened!" Kurama pushed.
"He's right, you know." Hiei agreed. Kuwabara, Yukina, Shizuru, and Botan nodded as well.
Yusuke remained silent and slammed the door of his apartment in their faces. He was going to break into Keiko's home to find out how she was. He didn't care if he got arrested. He had to know.
That night, Yusuke crept out of his apartment and over to her house. He got the door unlocked in no time at all. He crept in quietly. A melody crept towards his senses.
Endless love egaku yume no
Atsusa dakishimete
Can't stop heart sotto namida
Akureru yoru demo.
Endless love hitomi tojite
Toiki kasanereba
Can't stop heart futari dake no
Futari ni nareru
Inori to shitou ga surechigau ko no machi
Sore de mo yasashisa wasurezuni itakute
Ah senaka wo osu anata no nukumori
Ah kanjiteitai kitogomi no naka demo
The house was dark, not a single noise besides the gentle echo of a melodic separation could be heard. The house was untouched, as it always was: neat, nicely decorated, welcoming, friendly. Pictures covered the walls, their smiling silence was shifting. An eternal smiling face. impossible. Eternal happiness.even more so. But a lingering flutter of warmth and love. that was attainable. A picturesque life was just that.only seen in a copy of reality.
Yusuke found his way through the familiar building, making his way towards the source of the music. It was coming from a small study, the one at the end of the hall. Used for a computer room, or a reading room, or even a gym on occasion, the room was cozy and just right for being alone.
Unexplainably, Yusuke couldn't shake a feeling of nervousness from creeping into his body. He made his way into the room, the reason for his fear becoming horrifyingly justified. The gentle oozing of blood from two shallow cuts to each wrist was slowing some, proof of having been doing so for quite some time. The flesh around the cuts was almost pure white, the remaining visible flesh of the body the same color.
Only his years of having killed and seen murder gave Yusuke the strength to walk forward then, to lean down and feel for a pulse, to not cry out then and there. The pulse was nonexistent. It wouldn't come back, either, not for all the blood, time, or love in the world. Yusuke dropped to his knees, allowing the tears to flow from his eyes. Their constant flow in perfect tune with the music that seemed to echo throughout his being.
Ah sunao ni naki mujekini waraeru
Ah ashita wo kureru anata wo mamoritai
Endless love egaku yume no
Atsusa dakishimete
Can't stop heart sotto namida
Akureru yoru demo.
Endless love hitomi tojite
Toiki kasanereba
Can't stop heart futari dake no
Futari ni nareru
Okay.done now, thank God. That friggin thing creeps ME out, y'know? Not cool. Anyway, I was sick of all the little "oh, so-and-so got raped by his/her lover, but they worked everything out in the end". Uh, you guys, what do you think rape IS?!? A game? A love ploy? Um, excuse me! Hello, nice to meet you, I'm common sense! Sorry, that was rather attacking. But, I do believe that society writes about rape just a tad too lightly. Anyway, C and C welcome, reviews, in other words. Thanks for reading! ~Ann
*The song "Endless Love" belongs to TWO-MIX. For those who want to read the whole song and the translation, here it is.
ENDLESS LOVE
By: TWO-MIX Kagami ni utsushita naïve na jyouatsu
Tsumetaku kokoro de yure ugoku genjitsu
Ah kizutsuku tabi hiruete yuku kedo
Ah dakedo dareka no seini ha shitakunai
Deai to wakare ni narete yuku kono machi
Sore de mo ai dake wasurezuni itakute
Ah sunao ni naki mujekini waraeru
Ah ashita wo kureru anata wo mamoritai
Endless love egaku yume no
Atsusa dakishimete
Can't stop heart sotto namida
Akureru yoru demo.
Endless love hitomi tojite
Toiki kasanereba
Can't stop heart futari dake no
Futari ni nareru
Inori to shitou ga surechigau ko no machi
Sore de mo yasashisa wasurezuni itakute
Ah senaka wo osu anata no nukumori
Ah kanjiteitai kitogomi no naka demo
Endless life itami kakae
Toki wo choueteyuku
Can't stop beat kaze ga fuite
Nemurenu yoru demo.
Endless life imare kawaru
Tsuyosa wo sagashite
Can't stop beat jibun rashii
Futari ni nareru
Ah sunao ni naki mujekini waraeru
Ah ashita wo kureru anata wo mamoritai
Endless love egaku yume no
Atsusa dakishimete
Can't stop heart sotto namida
Akureru yoru demo.
Endless love hitomi tojite
Toiki kasanereba
Can't stop heart futari dake no
Futari ni nareru
(translation)
Reflected in the mirror is the warmth of such naïve affection ---
The reality just wavers in that cold heart.
Ah. go ahead flinching everytime from getting hurt.
Ah. but you're not prepared for someone like me.
We're already used to meeting and exchanging goodbyes in the street
But it is still too painful for us to not forget our love
Ah. gently weep. innocently smile.
Ah. I want to protect you, give tomorrow to you.
Endless love. paint a dream of warmth
as I hold you close in my arms
Can't stop heart. quietly cry openly.
even in the night.
Endless love. close your eyes
if those gasps of breath are piling up.
Can't stop heart. no more than a couple ---
Two little beings just getting used to each other.
Passing by this place, we unexpectedly make a mistake with that prayer
And it just hurts --- nevertheless, we couldn't just forget that tenderness.
Ah. I'll pull you out and push your back for you.
Ah. I can still feel your pain even when you're in that crowd.
Endless life. have that pain
Time will still go beyond
Can't stop beat. the wind blows.
Fall asleep. even in this night.
Endless life. turn life around
And look for that strength.
Can't stop beat. seemingly alone ---
Two little beings just getting used to each other.
Ah. gently weep. innocently smile.
Ah. I want to protect you, give tomorrow to you.
Endless love. paint a dream of warmth
as I hold you close in my arms
Can't stop heart. quietly cry openly.
even in the night.
Endless love. close your eyes
if those gasps of breath are piling up.
Can't stop heart. no more than a couple ---
Two little beings just getting used to each other.