Chapter 4

Vocabulary is within the text.

The next day, as the drama of romance began to slip into her life, Tooru realized just what a complicated thing a kiss could be.

"Sheesh, if you people are DEAF, let me know, OKAY?" Kyou fumed as he reached across the table for the fruit topping.  Tooru and Yuki had no idea the cat had asked for anything and could only blush confusedly, and in Tooru's case, apologize for having neglected him.

As usual, Shigure seemed to have his love radar fully equipped, and used it for his amusement.

"Ne, Tooru chan, I am working on a new shoujo book [stories aimed at a girl audience].  It details the delightful romance of a normal high school girl and a popular boy in her class," he said casually.

Yuki dropped a chopstick on the floor. 

"Hontou? [Really?]  Hana will want to know when it's published," she said as she went to fetch her love a clean set of chopsticks.

Yuki wished to have a word with the dog, or at least send an ominous glare his way, but Shigure would not allow him to catch his eye, and he could not say anything that would reveal to the cat what had transpired between himself and Tooru.  'Gure simply chewed his pancake with a mild expression, not even allowing his inner smile to show on his face.

Tooru returned and handed Yuki the chopsticks.

"Thank you."

They stared at each other for another few seconds until Tooru knocked over the marmalade.

"Ne, Shigure san, you were telling us about your latest book?" she recovered, hastily wiping up the mess.

Yuki stabbed a strawberry and watched it bleed juice.  This was not going to be the enjoyable meal he had expected.

"Hai, of course, of course.  Well, it stars a pretty young brunette named Sanyu, who, through a series of very interesting coincidences, learns that her crush, Haruki, likes her back."

"Oh, did you name the boy after Hatsuharu kun?"

"Um… actually, no."

"Ah."

"Yeah, but I'm having difficulty with part of it.  Alas, this writers' block will mean the end of my career if I can't get past it!  I need inspiration!  Oh, it's not so bad for me, but what will become of my young charges-"

"What now!?" Kyou asked.  Shigure ignored him.

"-if I cannot support them?  I suppose they could live at the Souma house… oh, Tooru chan, will you help me?"

"Hai!"

"You're so kind.  I think my problem is that I don't understand the life of a high school girl very well."

"That's assuming you only have one problem," Yuki said.

"Yes, and it's a problem easily solved by more frequent contact with adolescent girls – purely for research, you understand."

"NO!" Yuki and Kyou said in stereo, glared at one another, and then ravenously scarfed down about two more pancakes each.

"How can I help?" Tooru asked Shigure.

"Well…" he said in an oily manner.

Do not respond, do not encourage him, Yuki repeated in his mind.

"Just tell me how a normal teenage girl might handle a confession of love from the boy she deeply cares for, who also happens to be the most admired boy at her school."

One of Yuki's chopsticks snapped in half.  Tooru made an eep-like sound.  Yuki smiled mildly.

"I still have two chopsticks.  Daijoubu desu."

"Ah hai, that's true," she said and smiled, very cutely, Shigure noted.

"So about my question…" he prompted.

"Hai," she said.  "Well… I suppose… um…" her heart rate picked up a bit and her hands began to sweat.

"I guess it would help if I provided some background?"

"No," Yuki said.  Tooru glanced at him questioningly.

"How about this," Shigure said.  "Miss Normal High School Girlie, through a completely random event involving a mischievous but endearing dog, becomes friends with the most handsome boy in school.  They chat, get to know one another over a bowl of udon [Japanese noodle soup], and eventually, on a park bench in view of the setting sun," Shigure paused dramatically and snuck a peek at an enraptured Tooru from beneath the back of his hand, placed fittingly against his brow.  In a softer, wistful tone he continued, "he confesses his love for her." 

Tooru sighed dreamily.

"What say you, Honda san?"

"Fake politeness," Kyou growled, though with a bit less emphasis than usual.  He didn't like the scene Shigure was painting at all, but could not think of a distraction that would not reveal his jealousy.  In love with the most popular boy, indeed.

"Oh, right," Tooru said, waking up from her daydream.  "Anou… [um…]"

"Give me your gut reaction!" Shigure said, leaning over the table.

"Well, she's excited," Tooru began.  "And scared.  And probably very very nervous.  She… she would… I don't know what she would say…" Not knowing what kind of person this character was, Tooru could not speak for her.  If she were like Uo or Hana, Tooru could take a guess.  If she were like herself, she would be too busy trying to remember how to breathe.  And if she were like the Love-Me-Yuki fangirls, well, Tooru wasn't sure what they would say.  If they didn't die on the spot, they would probably know the right thing to say.  But they would never have the opportunity to say it to Yuki, because Yuki cared for Tooru.  All that practicing gone to waste, and she hadn't been prepared at all.  How ironic.

"Helloooo, Tooru chan?" Shigure waved a hand before her eyes.

"Oh, well, I, um, don't really know.  I guess I can't help."

Yuki's white knuckles and set jaw sent Shigure a very specific message.

"Daijoubu.  Thank you for your honest reaction.  I'm sure it will help."

Shigure was so nice, but Tooru knew she hadn't been any help at all.

"Actually, if I just tell you how she would feel, you could come up with the words, ne, Shigure san?"

"Well, I think I could do that…"

"Tooru san, Shigure kun is a very creative person.  I think he can imagine it."

"No, he cannot," Shigure said.

"She would feel like her heart had grown to fill her chest, not leaving any room for her lungs," Tooru said quietly.  "Everything else she had to think about would suddenly fly out of her mind."  She paused, trying very hard not to look at Yuki and reveal the truth to the others.  "She would feel that, even if everything was wonderful before, things were suddenly… right.  Can you work with that, Shigure san?"

Shigure blinked.

"Hai, to omoteiru. [Yes, I think.]" 

"Yokatta [I'm glad].  Now, I'd better clean up these dishes."

"I'm leaving," Kyou announced.

"You're not going to walk with us?" Tooru asked.

"Uh… I gotta be there early, just remembered."

Kyou was out the door a second later.  Once again, he had to mentally smack himself.  He had been rude to Tooru, he had given up an opportunity to be near her, and he had left her to walk to school with the rat.  But there was nothing he could do about that now.  He felt like cow form Haru had just squished his heart under a hoof.  If only he could make Tooru feel the way the girl in her description did… he would give anything to do it.

Meanwhile, back in the house, Yuki helped Tooru clear away the dishes and tried to cheer her up about Kyou's sudden departure.

Shigure made a weak excuse for needing to leave the room and retreated to his office.  As soon as he shut the door, he burst out into giggles, which he stifled in his robe.

"Kawaiiiiiiiii! [(they're so) Cuuuuuuute!]"

Ato de, gakkou de… [Later that day, at school…]

Kyou hit Momiji (at least, according to Momiji, he did).  As a result he got yelled at by Haru.  And sustained a bloody nose from Black Haru, but not much else.  As he sat on a cot in the nurse's office, a rough off-brand tissue stuck halfway up one nostril, he pondered the conundrum that Momiji's unexplainable cheerfulness had distracted him from. 

There were a few facts he was certain of.  One was that he liked Tooru.  Another was that Tooru deserved to be liked by someone special.  The final one was that he wasn't very special.

But there was another thing.  For some reason, Tooru thought he was special.  Yeah, for some reason… probably the same reason someone gave Joanie and Chachi their own show.  Because someone didn't have a clue how the universe worked.

Which was why Kyou sometimes questioned Tooru's perceptive abilities.  For a girl who could make everything just short of perfect, she didn't notice a lot of really obvious things.  Such as his stupidity.

Or maybe his failings simply didn't bother her.  Either that or…

…Haru was looking at him again.

"CUT THAT OUT!" Kyou yelled across the closet sized nook.

"Gomen [sorry]," White Haru responded unconcernedly.  "There isn't much else to look at.  The posters gross me out."

And a guy with a tissue up his nose didn't?

Kyou gruffly muttered something to that effect and turned his back on cow boy.

Now where was he?

Oh yeah.  Tooru liked him, he really liked her, and she had no clue that he wasn't worthy of anything more.  But there was the possibility that she might not care about that. 

The question was what to do about it. 

And he had to do something about it.  It was getting on his nerves that all this mental blathering embarrassed him.

"Are you looking at me again?!" he asked.

"Iie.  Atama no ushiro wa tsumaranai. [No.  The back of your head is boring.]"

"Hn."

True enough.

It would be taking advantage of Tooru to come right out and say how he felt.  She was so kindhearted and emotiony and stuff; her reaction would be a combination of sincere feelings and whatever it took not to hurt his.  It would be much too confusing. 

That and he'd probably choke when he tried to get the words out, coward that he was.

If he could let her know without directly informing her of his deep and slightly unsettling love for her, she'd figure out what to do.  Maybe her mother had once told her how to deal with messed up guys. 

But then there was the issue of getting Tooru to notice his hint. 

"Grrrr…" he growled in frustration.

"Daijoubu desu ka? [Are you all right?]" the nurse asked Kyou, giving Haru a more sophisticated looking ice pack for a bruise that did not actually bother him.

"Onaka ga suiteiru. [I'm hungry.]  Those teachers dragged me out of lunch."

"Well, you shouldn't have been fighting.  Besides, eating with a bloody nose must be a messy affair."

"Yameta to omou.  [I think it's stopped.]"

"Good to hear.  I guess you'll be fit to sit in class now."

"Whatever."

And so the nurse sent Kyou and Haru back to their classes.  They walked side by side for a bit, ignoring each other.  Kyou was still lost in his thoughts, and Haru was looking for landmarks. 

"Oi [hey].  A battle of the bands."

"Huh?"

Haru indicated the bright blue flyer on the bulletin board.  It read:

"Got talent?  Then we wanna see it!  Try out for the first annual battle of the bands on Friday…"

"That's a crappy flyer," Kyou said and went on his way.

Lunchtime under a tree.  There's no finer way to spend it.  Especially when dreaming of the one you love.  Who's stuck in a student council meeting…

"Tooru chan, you're glowing," Hana said, twirling a lock of her love struck friend's hair around her finger.

"Ah, hontou [really]?  Am I?  Oh my, did I get a sunburn?"

"Haaaah, no use in trying to cover it up, Tooru chan… you've been hit by Cupid's arrow!  Our little girl's in love," Uo said, and hugged Tooru.  "So tell us, which one is it?"

"Ohh…" Tooru said, looking at the little clumps of grass like they were more that just little clumps of grass.  "Well, something nice did happen the other evening… I was asking Yuki-"

"The prince.  Our suspicions confirmed," Hana said.

"You knew?"

"We figured from the way he put his hand on your shoulder the other day that he was about to make a move.  Finally," Uo added under a cough.

"Oh.  Well no, it wasn't like that.  You see…"

She told the story in meticulous yet modest detail, something possible, it seemed, only for Tooru.

"So he asked you for permission to kiss you.  Good,"  Hana said.

"After all, he is the prince," Uo added.  "But it's not as if Tooru would have said no."

"Well," Tooru blushed.  "I did want him to…"

"Kawaii!"  Uo hugged her again.  "But now, for the serious part.  We know that Souma san is a gentleman and all, but if he ever tries anything, you can say no.  You know that, ne?"

"What would he try?"

"Okay, say… he wants to kiss you more than you want to kiss him."

Tooru laughed and blushed.

"I don't think that will be the case."

Uo and Hana exchanged glances.  Silence.  Uo raised an eyebrow and twitched.

"I give up for now," Uo said, "I don't want to tarnish her!  It's your turn."

"Tooru chan," Hana began gently.  "You're so innocent.  And boys are so horny.  This is why we're concerned."

"ARA??? [HUH?]"

Uo slumped over.

"It's the truth," said Hana.

"Oh, but not Yuki kun.  He's special!  He would never try anything, not ever!"

"Tooru, 'Yuki kun' is still a boy," Uo lectured.  "Albeit a very feminine and pretty one, but still, he's got some hormones in there somewhere.  And sometimes, the hormones take over and they make stupid moves that they wouldn't otherwise make."

"Even with a wonderful martial artist like him, who has such self control?"

Uo chuckled.

"Even martial artists.  I once dated this Tae Kwon Do blackbelt – oh, erm, nevermind.  What can I say?  Boys are boys.  Gotta keep 'em in line." She punched her palm.

Tooru opened her mouth to speak, but Uo interceded.

"Even a good one, like Souma san.  He's been a slow one, but just in case the speed picks up and you're not comfortable with it, just be prepared to say no.  Multiple times, if necessary!"

"I think he'll listen well.  Souma san has a gentleness to his waves.  They are intense in a way, but that may only be his strong presence.  Still, I cannot be certain."  She placed a hand on Tooru shoulder.  "Do be careful."

"And we'll back you up, always!"

"Ah…" Tooru said, wondering how things could get like that between Yuki and she.  "A-arigatou, Uo chan, Hana chan."

They had to be wrong.

Back in class, the girls were fawning over Yuki, who insisted he was feeling much better and that there was no need to worry.  Tooru was beginning to regret having sat down at the desk next to him and inched away.  She did not appreciate having Minami's rear in her face.

"Good afternoon, class," the sensei said as she set her briefcase down.

"Good afternoon sensei," the class replied, half in a post-lunch monotone and half in frantic squeals as they scurried to their desks.

Yuki caught Tooru's eye and smiled apologetically.  Hopefully the class would go by quickly and they could have a chance to talk again!

No such luck.

So the prince did something slightly unprincely.  He passed her a note.

'I'm sorry I couldn't have lunch with you,' it read.  'I missed you during the meeting.'

Tooru bit her lip and blushed.  If only he knew what else he had missed.

'It's all right, though I missed you, too.' 

Now to pass it back to him.  She had not seen how Yuki got it to her desk, and wasn't sure she could find a way subtle enough.  The teacher's back was almost constantly turned away, as she wrote things on the board, but that didn't make things any easier.  Motoko was sitting in front of Yuki, and kept swishing her hair back and forth over his desktop.  If she turned at the wrong moment, she might see Tooru!  Given a choice, Tooru would have picked being caught by Sensei any day.

'Be brave!' she told herself.  'Go for it!'  She tossed the note sideways; it landed near his foot.  Yuki calmly picked it up as if he had been reaching for a pencil.  He ignored Motoko's hair swishing into his face as he came back up.

'This class is taking forever, ne?' he replied.

'Hai, it seems longer than usual.'

'Are you understanding everything?'

'Most of it.  How about you?'

'Same here.' Modesty.  He understood it all and was bored to tears.  'I actually read the chapter last night.  This feels like a review.'

'Well, Yuki kun is very bright!'

'So is Tooru san.  If you want, we could sneak out a little early.  I'll teach you what you miss tonight.  What do you think?'

SNEAK OUT?  Tooru had to bite her lip to keep from squeaking or making some equally embarrassing noise.  That did not sound like Yuki.  But they hadn't been able to spend lunch together… and if it were only for the last few minutes of class…  She glanced at the clock.  Twenty six minutes left.  'Aah!  It's so long!' she thought.  Yuki's idea sounded pretty good.

'All right, but I don't know how.'

'Great! Just ask to go to the bathroom.  Leave your things.  I'm sure Uotani san or Hanajima san will pick them up for you.  I'll meet you on the roof a couple minutes later.'

Tooru felt like dancing in her seat. 

Then something hit her.

With twenty minutes alone on the roof, what could happen?  What if Uo and Hana were right and Yuki behaved badly?  The thought of it made her heart rate pick up and her palms sweat.  Sneaking out of class certainly didn't sound like Yuki at all.  Perhaps he had other hidden traits…  But no, she had to calm herself.  This was Yuki, the prince, the epitome of gentlemanliness. 

She turned to him and gave a small nod.  He smiled.  She melted.  Again.

A minute later she was in the hallway and felt such a strange feeling of freedom.  It was just the hallway, same old same old.  But now that it was empty, she felt a sense of ownership.  She could go wherever she wanted with no people to bump into her and especially no Yuki fangirls.  But her destination was set.  She turned the corner and almost ran right into Kyou.

'Thank God I took out that tissue,' he thought.  Well, that was his second thought.  His first was along the same lines of everything else he'd been thinking that day, only intensified and involving words like "oh," "my," "God," "so" and "beautiful."

They'd frozen in place; Tooru was still holding her breath.  Kyou would have defaulted to snapping at her, but she'd put her hand out in front of her to prevent the "pyon" and it was currently resting against Kyou's chest.  As it was, he was currently without speech capabilities.

"Ah, gomen ne!  I almost made you a kitty!"

"Meh," he forced out.  "It coulda been worse.  I could be a cat right now."

"That's true." 

"Oh!" she exclaimed.  Her hand moved away, leaving a cold spot over his heart.  Well, it was more like over his breastbone, but yeah, taking romantic liberties.

"Are you all right?" she asked, rubbing her thumb on his cheek.

"Na-nani?"

"You have a bruise.  From your fight."

Fight…

"Oh, yeah, that."  The stupid fight that she had witnessed… if not for that idiot Haru he could have spent a Yuki-free lunch with Tooru.  Did the gods of fate hate him that much?  Making him the cat was one thing, but denying him alone time, well, non-Yuki-presence time with Tooru was really over the top.

"I wish you two wouldn't fight," she said.

"Yeah, I guess I wish so, too.  But sometimes when a guy's a jerk, you have to deal with it, ya know?"

"Um… I guess."

Her hand still rested on his cheek.

"You don't agree, do you?  You think I'm an idiot."  He turned away, removing her hand with his own.  He shouldn't be enjoying her touch when her feelings were so far from the same.

"No, I don't.  I know it's hard when Haru turns black because he isn't himself, but you're a great martial artist!" She squeezed his hand.  "And a great martial artist has grace and intelligence!  Just remember that and I'm sure next time you can avoid a fight."

"I'm not a great martial artist – and don't argue with me on that!  'Cause I would know, and no offense, but you're clueless on the subject."

"I know, gomen!"

"Yeah well, if Haru even stops being a psychopath, I'll try and take your advice."

For a brief and utterly perfect moment, Tooru beamed.  At him.  Yes, that's right.  At the cat.

"Oh, look," she said, turning to a neon blue flyer.  "They're having a battle of the bands!  That looks so cool!  We should go!"

We… as in Kyou and Tooru we?

"Actually, you should try out for it!  Since you're learning the piano."

"Cheh.  I haven't learned it yet, and I'm not likely to found a band in what, three weeks?"

"Oh, I guess not.  But that would have been fun, ne?"

"Sure," he smiled.  "Maybe so."

Then, suddenly,

"Oh no!  I forgot!"  She took her hand back, but she was doing that cute flustery thing again.

"Huh, nani?"

"Oh, uh… nothing."  She certainly couldn't tell Kyou where she was headed!  It felt so wrong to lie to Kyou, but what else could she do?  "I just uh, have to go to the bathroom, and um, I've been out of class for too long."

"It's only been a couple minutes."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't want Sensei to be upset with me.  So, I should run.  See you in a bit!"

"Yeah."

And off she ran, Kyou watching until she disappeared around another corner.  Well, well, who was lucky now?  The stupid rat hadn't had a moment with Tooru since their walk to school that morning, and what were the chances their walk compared to this?  Maybe he had held her hand, but so had Kyou.  Feeling on top of the world, Kyou turned that corner to see Yuki coming out of class.

"Good, I was hoping I wouldn't have to look at you in class," Kyou said.

"You don't have to anyway," Yuki said and brushed on by.

'Smug little rat.'  Didn't matter, though.  Kyou smirked.  His hand still felt warm from holding hers.  Hopefully Tooru wouldn't run into him on the way back from the girls' room-

Oh.  Crap.

No, it couldn't be.  They weren't.  But they could… and she was so nervous…

'DAMMIT!'  He pounded the cinderblock wall and grit his teeth, but opted for falling against it instead of putting a hole in it.

All right.  So there was something going on between Yuki and Tooru.  It didn't matter.  It also didn't matter that he had only just figured it out.  And there was no use in wondering how long it had been going on.

Of course, none of THAT actually mattered.

"It can't be this way.  It can't, it CAN'T!" he whispered forcefully.  "She can't be with the rat."

And then it hit him.  Which was worse – Tooru with the rat, or Tooru with him?

If only there was something he could do about it. 

The last thing he wanted to do was mess up her happiness, but Tooru hadn't seemed to show a preference between them until that accident.  What if… what if she had liked them both but Yuki made the first move?  It was too much to hope for and yet… she had always loved the cat.  Not him specifically, but he was the cat.  And she had been so tender during his difficult time… the same with Yuki.  Hmm.  Now that he thought about it, it didn't seem so unlikely.  Perhaps she could have feelings for him – but given a choice, who would she pick?  He wasn't so certain about that.  But if she was never presented with a choice, he would never know.

And he would remain legally insane for the rest of his life and end up being that old man who wanders the streets unshaven, carrying mysterious items in grocery bags and muttering odd things much too loudly.

So it was settled.  He would go ahead with his plan to tell Tooru how he felt.  His nonexistent plan…

Well, what were his options.  There was always just telling her.

Ha ha.  No.

He could try writing it.  That would be the second most torturous option.  Or maybe he could dedicate a song to her on the radio.  No, too chancy.  Who knew if she'd be listening at the right time?  Or, he could learn to play a song that spoke his heart, get some people to play with him and try out for that battle of the bands, where she would definitely be.

And she would be so impressed.

He grinned.

It was perfect.

I haven't really edited about half of this, so apologies for any rough places.    Please let me know what you think!  Suggestions for improvements are always welcome!  Oh, and you can always view my progress for upcoming chapters in my info page thingy.