Dedication: To my little sister, Kanashimi, who has been a source of inspiration and aggravation.

                   To Cherry, a good friend who I can count on for the most entertaining questions.

                 To C.M. Forde, who has actually managed to out-hentai me on the rare occasion.

                To my reviewers, whose messages of encouragement gave me the motivation to keep entertaining you.

Disclaimer: Good grief, you still think I own Rurouni Kenshin?  If you do, do me a favor and try to convince Nobuhiro Watsuki for me!

Oh, and I don't own anything else that I might have borrowed from music, literature, or other anime in this thing, either…

                                    Party Time!  Halloween at The Narrator's!

            "Well, I still say he looks like Tuxedo Mask."

            "I'm supposed to be the Phantom of the Opera," the white-masked bishonen argued, his ever-present smile wavering somewhat, "I'm nothing like that ponce!"

            "Maybe you should just go with the first mask, darling," Cherry suggested, clad in an ensemble that Narrator termed "Gothic wench." (The dress was black and strapless, the bodice was leather and lace-up.  If that's not "wench", Narrator is open to interpretation.)

            "But that one makes my face all sweaty," Soujiro whined.

            "That's why I chose this costume," Sano said smugly, "No stupid masks or capes."  He had actually forgone his usual red headband so he could look more like Carrot Glace of Sorcerer Hunters fame.

            "Only because you have an unprecedented predilection to be a 'baka hentai'," Soujiro muttered.

            "Nani?!"

            "Yo, no time for fighting, guys," Narrator said, stepping between them, "Cherry, you and Soujiro need to finish decorating, and Sano, you need to help me get the rest of the cider up here.  The guests might arrive any minute!"

            "Yes, mistress," Sano said, bowing mockingly.  He began walking toward the main door of the party room, which was an intricately wood-carved work of art representing an epic battle between angels and demons.

            *BOOM!*

            It also made for a lot of itty-bitty splinters.

            "Nihao!" a lavender-haired girl in a skin-tight mandarin dress trilled, brandishing her bonbori.

            "Dang it, Kanashimi, there's a thing called a door handle you know!" Narrator yelled.

            "It's also called 'making an entrance'!" Kanashimi retorted, making her bonbori disappear into Hammerspace with a wave of her hand, "I'm trying to be in character."

            "Why in the name of Kami-sama did she have to be Shampoo?" Narrator groaned to herself, massaging her temples.

            "Sano!" Cherry cried, rushing forward.  She immediately dragged her injured pookie from the disaster site.

            "But I don't wanna do the laundry!" Sano whined, swirly-eyed.

            "See what I mean?" Narrator snapped, "Now my manual labor is kaput!"

            "Whoopsie," Kanashimi said, almost contritely, "Well anyway, I wanted everyone to see Pookie's costume.  Pookie, come out here and show them!"

            "No," came Saitou's voice.

            "Saitou…" Kanashimi said warningly.

            "…"  Reluctantly, Saitou appeared in the blasted doorway.

            Narrator and Cherry took one look at him and started laughing their heads off.

            "Oh man, that's perfect!" Narrator howled, "He's creepy enough even without the makeup!"

            "Well, I think he's sexy!" Kanashimi protested, after beaning her dear onee-sama in the head with a well-aimed bonbori, "Count Dracula's got the monopoly on Gothic gorgeousness, so of course Pookie fits the role!"  She giggled and glomped her frowning vampiric companion.

            "Shoot me," said Saitou.

            "Whatever, Kanashimi," Cherry said diplomatically, "Are you all right, Sano?"

            "Yeah," Sano grunted, pushing himself up off the floor, "but for a second there, I coulda sworn I saw Bela Lugosi reincarnated and standing right…oh."  Sano caught sight of Saitou, who was glowering daggers at him.  "Nice makeup job," he snorted.

            "I still have my katana, ahou," Saitou growled.

            "Oh no, you don't," Narrator contradicted him, holding up Saitou's katana, "The rules from the last party still apply, honey."

            "Sorry, but it is her Authorspace after all, Pookie," Kanashimi apologized.

            "Damn," Saitou muttered.

            "Hey, I thought you said it was sacrilegious to use the apse of Mont-St. Michel,' Kanashimi observed, stepping into the party room and staring up at the soaring gothic vaults that disappeared into the deep shadows of the high ceiling.

            "Well, it's the nave of the Chartes cathedral for one," Narrator explained, "I happen to like gargoyles and rose windows.  Besides, the House of Usher would have taken too long to sheet-rock.  A Halloween party's got to have atmosphere, neh?"

            "True that," Kanashimi agreed, nodding.

            "Do you have any idea what they just said?" Sano asked Saitou.

            "Do I look like I have any idea of what they just said?" Saitou shot back.

            "Neh, onee-sama, what's your costume?" Kanashimi asked suddenly, "Or are you going with the "unemployed-slacker-college-student" look this year?"

            "Shimatta!  I almost forgot!" Narrator cried, and without further ado, she bolted through the door, leaving the others staring after her blankly.

            "She's certainly got the "psycho-party-hostess" thing down," Cherry commented, "We could help her if we could just find that spare strait-jacket around here somewhere…"

*ZORT!*

            "Bob!  Can you stop with the freakin' special effects already?!" Kanashimi choked, waving acrid silver-and-pink smoke from her face.

            "Oro, sessha is terribly sorry about that, Kanashimi-dono," a familiar voice spoke through the fumes.

            "Did we come too early?" asked another.

            "Geez, Kenshin, Jou-chan, am I glad to see you!" Sano exclaimed, waving a clear path through the smoke, "You have no idea what I've been going through…whoa!"

            "I see onee-sama's been reading Sword in the Stone again," Kanashimi commented, "Please say hello to Kenshin the Pendragon and Guinevere the Tanuki."

            Kaoru looked mildly put out by the "tanuki" comment, but was having too much trouble with her silver circlet to do more than glare.

           "Ooo, I love your dress!" Cherry said, eyeing the 11th century blue silk number Kaoru was wearing, "But I think that red tunic of yours kinda clashes with your hair, Kenshin."

            Kenshin shrugged amiably, and, pointing to the rampant golden dragon on his chest, said "Narrator-dono thought it was the most appropriate de gozaru."

            "Who's that?" Soujiro wanted to know, pointing to the third person in the Himura party.  Said person had been hanging to the rear of the new arrivals.

            "This is our son, Kenji," Kaoru said proudly, dragging the reluctant thirteen-year-old forward.

            "Huh?  Hey, wait a second…" Sano said, pointing at Kenji, then to Kaoru and Kenshin, "When did you…I thought…"

            "Don't hurt yourself thinking about it, Sano," Cherry said comfortingly, "Narrator's decided to mess with the space-time continuum again."

            "Oh," said Sano.

            "So, who are you supposed to be, Kenji-kun?" Soujiro asked.

            Kenji only glared at him.

            "Wow, he's got that angsty-repressed teenager thing down pat," Kanashimi observed.  She ruffled Kenji's hair.  "That's so cute."

            "Hey, knock it off!" Kenji snarled at her, batting her hand away.

            "Oro!  Don't be so rude to our hostess de gozaru yo!" Kenshin yelped, more concerned about Kanashimi's potential reaction than manners.  But of course, Kenji took it the wrong way.

            "Like you care!" Kenji spat at his father.

            "Kenji!" Kaoru scolded.

            "Are they going to do this charming family bit all evening?" Saitou wanted to know, "Because it would really nice if Narrator would allow saké this time around."

            "Shut up, Saitou," Kenshin shot at his only-living arch-nemesis.

            "Why don't you try and make me, Battousai?"

            "Ah, jeez," Kanashimi sighed.  She slapped a collar on Saitou.  "Now, I'll take this off if you promise not to pick any fights, Pookie."

            "Oh, all right…" Saitou grumbled, narrowing his eyes at Kenshin and daring him to laugh.

            "Anyway, don't you think Kenji's costume is a bit ironic?" Cherry blurted.  Everyone looked at her.  "Well, he's wearing the white tunic and red cross of Sir Galahad."  Everyone blinked slowly.  "You know, Sir Galahad…the purest and most virtuous of all the knights in Camelot?  The one with the most loyalty to Arthur during the quest for the Holy Grail?"

            "Riiiiiiiiiiiiight…" Sano said.  Cherry sighed and muttered something about people being mis-educated.

*ZORT!*

            "KONNICHI-WA, MINNA-SAN!!"

            "Not so loud, Misao-chan!" Kaoru complained, clapping her hands over her ears, "The echoes in here are incredible."

            "Sorry 'bout that," Misao's voice responded through the thick blue fog.

            "I really hate inter-dimensional transport," Megumi's voice added.

            "Hey, Fox-lady, glad you could join us!" Sano called.

            "Well, it's not like I had any choice," Megumi observed acidly as the glooming mist dissipated.

            "Holy…!"  Sano quickly clamped a hand over his nose to hide the sudden onset of a nose bleed.  Cherry's eye twitched.  Kenshin and Kaoru could only gape in amazement.

            "Again, it's not like I had any choice," Megumi sniffed with as much dignity as she could, clad in black leather safari pants and a mini red leather biker jacket.  She pushed her black biker hat back from her face. 

            "I'm glad Narrator thought that Megumi should be the anime Chocolate Misu, or I think the Rooster-head would have passed out from blood loss by now," Yahiko, dressed as Oda Nobunaga in full samurai regalia, chortled.

            "Would not," Sano said, somewhat thickly because of the wads of tissue up his nose.  Cherry's eye was now developing a nervous tic, and she latched firmly onto Soujiro.

            "I see onee-sama's decided to go with a couple's theme," Kanashimi said, "Love the Matrix outfits, Misao, Aoshi.  At least you got the color right this time around, eh, Aoshi?"

            Aoshi merely looked at her over the frames of his expensive sunglasses.

            "I dunno if I really like being Trinity," Misao admitted, tugging at her skin-tight black leather body suit, "How the heck are you supposed to fight in something like this?  I can barely breathe!  And these stiletto boots are killing me!"

            "Mind over matter, as they say," Soujiro said cheerfully.

            Misao's eye twitched and she pulled a shot gun from somewhere in her trench coat.  "Care to say that again, Smiley-Boy?" she growled, leveling the weapon at Soujiro's face.  Aoshi smirked ever-so-slightly.

            "Aaaah…" Soujiro scooted behind Cherry, who, since she was also wearing stiletto boots, did not rise to defend her pookie more aggressively.

            "Dear god, itachi-musume's got a weapons upgrade," Saitou muttered, "I'm really going to need saké..."

*ZORT!*

            "Well, you'll have to get your own then!" Hiko's voice boomed out from the midst of clouds of crimson-and-gold smoke.

            "Ano, shishou, sessha does not think Narrator-dono will….oro!" Kenshin exclaimed.

            "What?" Hiko demanded.  He was wearing a white silk suit with flashy red lapels, at least three heavy gold chains around his neck, and a white fedora with a ridiculously wide brim on his head.  Okon and Omasu, wearing identical black leather miniskirts and halter tops, were latched onto either of his arms, giggling.

            "Okon…?  Omasu…?" Misao eeped, looking like she had just gotten bopped on the head with a mallet.  Aoshi had pretty much an identical expression.

            "Whoo, ninja chicks are hot," Yahiko blurted, drooling slightly.

            "Oh, yeah," Kenji agreed.  His mother thwacked him on the head.  "Itai!"

            "Er-hem, Yahiko-chan, can you say 'Tsubame'?" Sano said to the young samurai.

            "Oh shut up!" Yahiko snapped, blushing.

            "Pimp-Daddy Hiko!" Kanashimi howled, holding her sides and laughing, "That's the perfect costume!"

            "You're still too young for me, little girl," Hiko reminded her.

            "Eh?"

            "Eeeeeeeego…" Cherry said softly.

*ZORT!*

            The entire party room was suddenly engulfed in a thick, cold, cloying grey fog that dimmed even the bright blue-flame torches and chandelier.  "W-what's coming through now?" Kaoru asked.

            "This ken-ki…" Kenshin said, his senses on full alert. He pulled Kaoru and Kenji behind him, wishing for his sakabatou.

            "But…it's impossible," Saitou murmured, reaching instinctively for his absent katana.

            "But it must be…" Soujiro insisted, his face completely serious as he vainly attempted to see through the wraith-mist.  Hiko and Aoshi were tense as they tried to read the hostile new ki.

            "Quite a welcoming party, wouldn't you say, Yumi?" a voice drawled.

            "Quite, Shishio-sama…"

            The fog evaporated as if it had never been, revealing four people to the assembled party.

            "What the…?!" Misao and Yahiko blurted at the same time.

            "Enishi?!" Kaoru yelped.

            "Shishio!" Kenshin, Saitou, Aoshi, and Sano yelled at the same time.

            "Shishio-sama?" Soujiro queried.  Cherry hastily drew him aside before he could have another spastic breakdown.

            "Yes, that's my name; I was aware of that."  Shishio smirked at their amazed faces.  "What else do you expect on Halloween?"

            "A costume maybe," Kanashimi remarked, "Mummy is rather cliché, don't ya think?"

            "But it goes so well with mine, neh?" Yumi interjected, preening in her elaborate Cleopatra attire.

            "Eh, true," Kaoru said thoughtfully.

            "Why the hell would Narrator invite him?!" Sano demanded out of the corner of his mouth.

            "Something about a dunk-tank," Kanashimi told him sotto-voce.

            "Oh," said Sano, looking immensely happier.

            "Hey don't forget about me!" a young man in a sharp black pin-stripe zoot suit whined, shoulder-length purple hair fanning out beneath his black fedora.

            "Um, who are you?" Misao asked, completely confused.

            "Jeez, you'd think after I kicked your butt in a fight, you'd remember!" the bishonen huffed, "It's me, silly!  Kamatari!"

            "Kamatari?!" Kaoru, Misao, Yahiko, Okon, and Omasu gasped in disbelief.

            "I'm George from Paradise Kiss, in case you were wondering," Kamatari informed them with a giggle.

            "Darn, I woulda bet even money he'd be Isabelle," Kanashimi muttered.

            "Ano, Enishi…?" Kenshin said hesitantly, keeping one eye on Shishio.

            "Leave me alone," Enishi growled, looking none-too-happy in his angel get-up.  Bad enough he was wearing a dress, but the feathers were bothering his allergies and his halo kept slipping down over one eye.

            "Er…" Kenshin said.  He was spared from making a comment by a timely *ZORT!* from Bob.

            There was a blinding flash of emerald light and suddenly Youko Kurama, a miniature Shining Gundam, an authoress, and a graceful she-demon with silver, red-streaked hair and vicious-looking facial tattoos were standing in their midst.

            "Oro?" Kenshin said for everyone.

            "Greetings," Kurama (authoress Setine) said, bowing genteelly before abandoning character and diving at Saitou.

            Saitou "ack"-ed and dodged, remembering the last time another authoress caught a hold of him in Kanashimi's presence.

            "Sano!" GuseBat (aka GB, as herself) shrieked and glomped the doomed bishy.

            "Sano!" Megumi and Cherry exclaimed angrily.

            "What?!  I can't help it if they like me!" Sano protested.  Megumi's only reply was to play threateningly with her garrote-wire.  Sano gulped.

            "Hello, Aoshi-sama," the demoness Aya Sinimori purred, running her titanium claws lightly up his arm.  Aoshi gulped and Misao's trigger finger twitched ever-so-slightly.

            "Dozo yoroshiku!" the mecha (Saijin-Zero) said in a muffled voice.

            "Hey, it's a gundam!" Cherry blurted.  Her eyes widened and she clapped a hand over her mouth.  Everyone stared at her, with the exception of Saijin-Zero.

            "Law of mecha anime," he explained to them hastily, "If you say 'It's a gundam' without quotation marks…"

            A laser bolt came out of nowhere, streaming right for Cherry.

            "Kee-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Cherry yelled, whipping her Marine Corps saber from Hammerspace.  In an impressive display of marital dexterity, she deflected the beam toward Shishio, who in turn hit the dirt to avoid being hit.

            Everyone snapped their fingers in disgust. ("Bite me," Shishio growled. "Okay!" Kamatari squealed.  Yumi growled.)

            "…you get zorched within ten seconds," Saijin finished in the odd silence that followed, "That was awesome, Cherry-san!"

            "Thanks!" Cherry gasped, "I don't know why the hell Narrator holds true to the laws of anime in her own Authorspace!"

            "That…was random," Hiko observed and decided it would be better if he, his saké, and his girls withdrew to one of the side rooms for the duration of the party.  Narrator was not there to stop him, after all.

*ZORT!*

            A flurry of lavender-and-white rose petals heralded the arrival of a moon goddess, a werewolf, a green flying monkey, and Ranma (boy version).

            "Airen!" Kanashimi squealed, diving at the unfortunate young man.

            "Augh!" Ranma (Jason M. Lee) yelped as he received a full Amazon glomp.

            "Yes!  Finally free!" Saitou cheered.

            "That leaves you for me, Saitou!" Setine crowed, using her rose-whip to reel in the Wolf of Mibu.

            "Damn," Saitou sighed.  He swiftly wriggled out of the bounds and ran like hell.

            "Sorry, had to be in character," Kanashimi explained, releasing "Ranma" and patting him on the head, "You understand, neh?"

            "Eh-heh heh…" JML groaned weakly, nursing his bruised ribs.  Kanashimi skipped off in search of her Pookie.

            "I love your dress, Kaoru," the moon goddess Caroline remarked.

            "Thank you.  Yours is lovely, too," Kaoru replied graciously, admiring the way Caroline's costume seemed to give off a delicate silver illumination.

            Inuyuki, the werewolf, tromped up to Kenshin.  "H-hai, Ookami-dono?" Kenshin said nervously.

            Inuyuki leered.  "Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything that'll tick Kaoru off.  I just wanted to…" *GLOMP!*

            "Oro!" Kenshin squeaked

            "Hahahahahahaha!" Shessha's Crazy (the flying green monkey) cackled as she flew up into the rafters, Soujiro in tow, "Smiley-boy is mine!"

            "Give me back my psycho fluffy-kins!" Cherry demanded.

            "No! Nyah!"

            "Help!' Soujiro yelped, having just discovered that he was a raving acrophobic.

            "Was the last party like this?" Shishio asked Yumi as the couple lounged on a sofa in easy reach of one of the snack tables.

            "Oh, much worse; everyone in the Battousai-gumi was getting assaulted by fangirls," Yumi said over the chaos as she served him some choice sushi.

            "Hm, should be entertaining," Shishio snickered.

*ZORT!*

            The lemon-scented mist evaporated to reveal Yoh Asakura, a female Kenshin, and two Misaos.

            "Nee-chan, can I avenge you on that Battousai?" Enishi (who had been hitting the cider pretty hard) asked as Jovian Angel took a running leap and glomped the inspiration for her costume.

            "Heeeeeeey, where's Soujiro-kun?" Yoh (authoress also known as Joey-kun) whined.

            "He's being held hostage by an insane flying monkey and Cherry-san's going ballistic trying to get him back," Kenji (being the closest person to her who was still coherent) informed her curtly.

            "Oh.  Oh, well, I'll just have to make do…come're, Kenji-kun!"

            "Nani?!"

            *GLOMP!*

            "Aoshi-sama!" one of the Misaos (Tesuka-chan to her friends) shrieked, cross-tackling the okashira.

            "Hey, I've had just about enough…!" (the real) Misao began threateningly.

            "Misao-sama!" the other Misao (the leggy, well-endowed blonde one wearing librarian glasses, if you were confused) interrupted her.  She grabbed the stunned itachi-musume and squealed.  "Tee-hee!  Don't you just love my costume, darling?"  She sneaked a quick peck on Misao's cheek.

            "Wow…" was all Aoshi could manage (which was a lot more than the rest of the men).

            "Let's just say C.M. Forde-chan really likes Misao," Kanashimi said in the stunned silence, "But you're going to confuse people, C.M.!"

            "That's okay!" C.M. Forde said, "I came prepared!" She let go of Misao long enough to strip off the ninja costume, revealing a quintessential Playboy bunny outfit.  "Do you like this one better?"

            "Erm…"

*ZORT!*

            "Nee-chan, my head hurts now," Enishi whined as a second female Kenshin, a Saitou-esque cop,  a female Inuyasha and a draconian-winged wolf-girl with horns (a Nalkite, for those who were wondering) appeared in a shower of blue-and-orange sparks, "Make it stoooooooooop!"  Yahiko deftly relieved him of his cider mug, figuring to spare everyone one more raving psychotic.

            "Aw, phoo, Kenshin's not Battousai!" Amanda (the newest "Kenshin") groused.

            "Yeah, no fair!" Kurayami agreed, sulking in a very Inuyasha-like manner.

            "We're going to have to find a way to draw him out!" they declared in unison and went over to the dessert table to plot.

            "Sessha does not like the sound of that de gozaru," said Kenshin, having just escaped his last glomping.

            "Hello, Kenshin," Kaidona the Nalkite purred, her draconian wings holding her in a hover above his head.

            "Yipe!" Kenshin managed before Kai-chan literally got the drop on him.

            "My, these fangirls become more and more creative," Kaoru commented, dipping her biscotti in her coffee.

            "You seem pretty calm about all this," said Caroline.

            "Well, he is my husband…" Kaoru pointed out.

            "Not to mention Narrator's too much of a die-hard K+K fan to let anything untoward happen," JML finished for her.  Kaoru only grinned.

            "Oh Saitou-saaaaaaaaaan?" the Goddess of Lit and Vocab (lit, for short) called, "Where are yoooooooooouuuu?"  She felt a tug on the sleeve of her police uniform.

            "Pookie's hiding again," Kanashimi said to her, "Setine and I are seeking."  She jerked her thumb at Setine, who was currently lifting up the black tablecloth to check under the chips table.

            "Ooo, I love hide-and-seek!" lit burbled, "Can I play?"

            "Okay-be," Kanashimi agreed.

*ZORT!*

            "Hello!" Belldandy (aka Neko) called out as the clouds of silver glitter settled.

            "Nyao!" a cute white-and-brown girl cat (Nozomie) purred.

            "Shinigami in the house!" Kitsune-kurama (Kit) crowed, brandishing her scythe.

            "Feh!" Luvsdogz (Ld) sneezed.  She brushed the glitter from her red kimono ensemble and long white hair, her white dog ears twitching in irritation.  "Stupid %$##*& glitter!" she cursed, sounding uncannily like a certain hanyou, "Where's Kenshin?"

            "Hey, Belldandy-neko and you other neko!" Cherry called to Neko and Nozomie, "Think you can help me get Soujiro!?"

            "Why, certainly," Neko acquiesced, gathering divine wind and light between her palms.

            "Hey, no fair!" Shessha's Crazy protested.

            "Oh, thank Kami-sama!" Soujiro gasped.

            "You mean Megami-sama!" Nozomie corrected him, as Neko released the retrieval spell.

            "Oh, right."

            "Is anyone else coming?" Misao wondered, hiding behind a column to get away from C.M. Forde.

            "Yeah, and where the hell is Narrator?" Yahiko added.  He had been called "samurai-chan" by several people (none the least of whom was Kamatari) and was slightly put-out.  "I mean, she's the reason we're here!"

            "You're right; it's not like her to let Chaos reign in her Authorspace without supervision de gozaru,' Kenshin agreed worriedly, precariously perched on a sconce above them to escape the fangirls.

            "Kanashimi-san, do you know where your onee-san is?" Misao asked Kanashimi, snagging the up-and-coming dominatrix by the arm as she ran past in her desperate search for her Pookie.

            "Huh? Onee-sama's not here?" Kanashimi queried blankly.  She scanned the room.  Kaoru was apparently telling a funny story (most likely about Kenshin) to JML, Jovian Angel, Caroline, and Kit, who were laughing hysterically; Amanda and Kurayami were still deeply involved in their war council; Soujiro was in the middle of a four-way catfight between Neko, Shessha's Crazy, Nozomie, and Cherry, and obviously not thrilled about it; Sano was following a pissed-off Megumi around, begging forgiveness for something he said/did while GB snickered; Kenji was getting drinks for Joey-kun and himself; Aoshi was reluctantly singing "My Girl" for a very vocal audience consisting of Aya, Tesuka-chan, and Ld over at the karaoke machine; Kaidona and Saijin-Zero were racing the length of the party room over the heads of the revelry; Kamatari was flirting with an inebriated  Enishi over by the cider keg, while C.M. Forde gleefully caught it all on a tape-recorder; Shishio and Yumi were in their own little world (best place for them); Setine and lit were triumphantly dragging Saitou from his hiding place (the sarcophagus in the mortuary chapel).

            "Wow, you're right!" Kanashimi said, "Last time I saw her, though, she was running through the door, yelling her head off about forgetting her costume.  I wonder if…"

                                                *FOOM!*

            The thunder-clap made everyone yell in surprise and cover their ears.  The lights suddenly went out.

            "Oi, what happening?!"

            "Ow, that's my foot!"
            "All right, who just groped me?!"

            "Damn, I spilled my cider!"

            "Willkommen in Hölle!" a deep, ominous voice echoed through the darkened party hall, "Until the bells doth midnight toll, this hall your prison be.  Tonight doth Shadow and Terror own, their master being…ME!"

            There was an explosion of black and red fire in the middle of the party hall and the blue-flames of the chandelier roared to life.  The illumination revealed a mysterious figure clad in black, its pink eyes glowing with unearthly light.  Small black horns protruded almost unnoticeably from the forehead, and the black, red-lined cape swished aside to reveal a long barbed tail.

            "WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

            "Hey!" Narrator yelped, baring an impressive array of fangs, "What's so friggin' funny?!"

            "Hahahaha…heh…sorry, onee-sama," Kanashimi wheezed, wiping a tear from her eye, "It's just…"

            "I've never pictured Mephistopheles with pigtails," C.M. Forde admitted.

            "That's my thing!" Mephistopheles/Narrator protested, grabbing a hold of her trademark hair-do defensively.

            "Maa maa, Narrator-dono," Kenshin soothed, "It was a very impressive entrance de gozaru yo."

            "Was it?" Narrator asked uncertainly.  Everyone nodded, if at least to be polite to their hostess.

            "Don't you have something to say, Narrator-san?" Saijin-Zero prompted.

            "Oh right!  Welcome, minna-san, to my Authorspace!  Let's get this party started!"

                                                            ~*~

            The music cut off suddenly.

            "Ha! Mine!"

            "No fair!"

            "You can sit on my lap, if you want, Misao," C. M. Forde offered graciously.

            "Er, that's okay," Misao said, beating as hasty a retreat as she could manage in her stilettos.

            "I can see why her ninja skills would be affected by that," Narrator commented sympathetically as Misao hobbled over to the pie table, "I must say that musical chairs was a really great idea, lit-san."

            "Thanks," replied lit, pressing the 'play' button on the stereo.  "Just Communication" blared out once more and the contestants, now consisting of C.M. Forde, Kenshin, Setine, Saitou, Kurayami, Sano, Jovian Angel, JML, Soujiro, Inuyuki, Aoshi, and Caroline, once more began their orbits around the chairs.  The rest of the party goers, those who had either declined to play or had been eliminated, were cheering on their favorites.

            The music stopped again, and there was a mad scramble for the seats.

            "Ow, hey!" Kurayami yelped as Sano used a rather slick elbow nudge to slide her out of the way of the seat she had been aiming for.  She managed to get the one right next to it and accidentally-on-purpose thwacked Sano with Tetsusaiga's hilt.

            "Itai!"

            "You deserved that one, ahou," Saitou commented, miraculously still smoking his cigarette (his second since the game started).

            "How do you keep those things lit?" Inuyuki, sitting behind him, wanted to know.

            "Yeah, and do you have to smoke?" JML demanded from his spot beside her, waving his hand in front of his face and coughing.  Saitou's only response was to glare at him condescendingly.

            "Gomen, Caroline-dono; sessha took your seat de gozaru.  Would you like to have it?" Kenshin asked the moon goddess apologetically.

            "Aw, you're just so cute; no wonder Kaoru likes you so much!" Caroline giggled, not at all perturbed at being eliminated, "It was fair, Kenshin, don't be so pressed about it!"

            "My, Himura-san is truly a gentleman," Soujiro observed as Caroline exited the floor.

            "Of course!  Why do you he has so many fangirls?" Jovian Angel said with a laugh.

            "But Saitou-san and Shinomori-san aren't gentlemen and they…"

            "Hey, put a sock in it!" Setine snarled on behalf of both her preferred bishonen.

            Luckily, Narrator was against too much violence at her party and asked lit to restart the music before Soujiro could get thwacked for his astute powers of observation.

            "Hey, I'm takin' bets on this!" Kit called out over the music.

            "I got my money on Sano!" GB shouted.

            "Soujiro!" Shessha's Crazy and Cherry said in stereo.

            "Battousai!" Amanda piped eagerly.

            "Where?!" Enishi slurred, his head popping up from behind the cider keg.

            "I'll go with Ranma!" Kanashimi blurted.

            The music screeched to a halt and there was dead silence as everyone stared at her in shock.

            "Guys, I was being in character again, duh," Kanashimi said sarcastically.

            "Oh."

            The ensuring melee for the chairs resulted in Kenshin being eliminated and Inuyuki penalized with removal for attempting to bite Saitou for tripping Kenshin.

            "Dang, this is getting kinda vicious, Narrator," Saijin-Zero, the referee, said to the authoress nervously.

            "I still say the jerk deserved it," Kai-chan growled, narrowing her eyes at Saitou as the music played.

            "I have half a mind…" Kaoru started.

            "Maa maa, sessha did that on purpose de gozaru," Kenshin said, coming over to her and laying a soothing hand on her shoulder, "Saitou just happened to have his foot in an advantageous spot."

            "So, why would you do something like that?" Yahiko wanted to know.

            "Sessha did not want any of the young ladies to fight over the true winner when it came down to Saitou, Soujiro and sessha de gozaru," Kenshin answered simply.

            "Yeah, that's pretty much how I would have called it," Narrator concurred, "Good idea, Kenshin."

            A lemon meringue pie flew through the air.

            "Oro?"

            "Aoshi-sama's mine, now you take that back!" Misao yelled, her cheeks suffused with pink from her single mug of cider.  She was glaring somewhat blearily at Tesuka-chan and Aya Sinimori, who were looking at her strangely.

            "We were only cheering him on, Misao," Tesuka-chan began.

            "No you weren't, you're tryin' to take him away from me!" Misao interrupted. 

            "Whoo boy, Misao-chan's already drunk?" Ld asked as Misao picked up another pie (blueberry this time), "An intoxicated jealous itachi-musume is not going to be pretty…"

            As if to fulfill her dire warning, Misao hurled the pie.

            Owing to the fact that human equilibrial faculties are compromised by the consumption of alcohol, the demoness and Tesuka-chan did not even have to step out of the way.

            "Eeeee-augh, who threw that?!" Kamatari howled, wiping the remnants of pie off the back of his neck.

            Misao hiccupped guiltily.  Kamatari grabbed an éclair and threw it at her.

            "I wouldn't do that if I were you," Aoshi said in perfect monotone, having nabbed the pastry-missile two inches from Misao's face in a sort of spiffy-ninja-Matrix move.

            Kamatari's response was to launch the entire plate of Danishes at the couple.  And entropy being the bitch that it is…

            "FOOD FIGHT!!" Joey-kun and Kenji yelled.

            And chaos reigned.

(Intermission: Bob the Laptop resets the party room while the guests attempt to scour the stains of various consumables from their costumes.

Narrator: *wiping what looks like a mix of whipped cream, chocolate frosting, and blackberry crumble from her hair* Remind me never to order real cider for a party again.

Cherry: *using seltzer and a sponge to get the salsa off of her skirt* Okay.  Dang, I don't think salsa's very good for chiffon!

Kanashimi: *miraculously food free* Actually, all you have to do is make sure that nobody with a low tolerance gets near the punch bowl or the keg.  Oh wait, that means you're not going to be able to drink anything.

Narrator: *death glare* Oh, shut up.)

~*~

            The teams for Pictionary would have ideally been boys vs. girls, but even with the addition of Hiko, Enishi, and Shishio, the guys were still outnumbered almost two-to-one.

            "I guess it's because most men don't have the attention span or creative capacity to write fanfiction," Cherry said.  JML and Saijin-Zero huffed, but before they could say anything in defense of their sex, C.M. Forde spoke up.

            "How about everyone dressed like a guy is on the guy's team?" she suggested.

            "Hey, good idea," said Narrator, "That means Ld, Kurayami, Setine, Amanda, Joey-kun, and Jovian-Angel are on the guy's team; that pretty much evens it out."

            "Don't forget yourself, Miss Character-from-a-Goethe-Epic," Kanashimi interjected, "Mephistopheles is a guy, too."

            "But I…"

            "Besides, you're flat-chested enough to be mistaken for a boy anyway."

            "What was that?!" Narrator growled, eyes flashing like neon pink flame.

            "Oh did I say that out loud?" Kanashimi asked in feigned innocence, "Whoopsie."

            Narrator snarled low in her throat, ken-ki gathering about her like deepening ominous wind.  The guests wisely took cover behind the nearest item of sturdy furniture.

            Thankfully, before the sisterly cat-fight could really get underway, it was interrupted by the arrival of another guest.

*ZORT!*

            "Am I too late?" a very handsome, yet somehow strangely transparent, man dressed in 18th century Hessian armor asked as the white-and-gold smoke cleared.

            "S-S-Sagara-taicho?!" Sano blurted, staring wide-eyed at his deceased mentor.

            "Hey, Sano," the ex-leader of the Sekihoutai said cheerfully, "Long time no see, neh?  I got a little lost," he told Narrator, "Made a wrong turn at Purgatory, and before I knew it…"  He shrugged apologetically.

            "That's okay…" Narrator managed before she was plowed over by a very enthusiastic Goddess of Death.

            "Souzu-sama!" Kit exclaimed, glomping the ghost (Metaphysics not being The Narrator's specialty, we'll just take it for granted that the planets were aligned right to allow her to do this).

            "Hello, Shinigami-sama," Sagara responded somewhat hesitantly.  "Is this that "glomping" thing that fangirls are supposed to do so often?" he asked no one in particular.  Kit giggled.

            "Hey, who are you supposed to be anyway?" JML wanted to know.

            "Oh, can't you tell?  I'm the Headless Horseman from Sleepy Hollow," Sagara answered.  He removed his head from his shoulders.  "See?"

            "Ack!" *THUMP!*

            "Now that wasn't very nice!" Kanashimi scolded as Megumi and GB attempted to revive an unconscious Sano.

            "Terribly sorry about that," Sagara's head apologized before he reattached it to his neck.

            "Ack!" *THUMP!*

            "Maybe we should just let him sleep this one out," Yahiko suggested, nudging the (yet again) uncounscious Sano with his toe.

~*~

            "Sword fight!"

            "Kenji, for the last time, not everything being drawn has to do with swords!" Joey-kun admonished as Narrator frantically scribbled something on the dry erase board.

            "Looks like 'leading a horse to water' de gozaru yo!" Kenshin guessed loudly.

            "Really?  I was going to say 'sick dog heaving,'" Ld said frankly.

            "Time's up!" Aya Sinimori called out as the last of the sand in the mini-hour-glass trickled into the bottom half.

            "What the heck were you drawing?" Saijin-Zero asked Narrator.

            "It was supposed to be the 'Atlantic Ocean,' obviously," Narrator said peevishly.  She got a roomful of blank stares.  "Oh, come on!  Can't you see this is Atlas with the world on his shoulders?  And this right here!" she continued, vehemently stabbing at the scribbling with her finger, "This is so evidently an ocean!"

            "Riiiiiiight, okay," said her team.

            "Geez, even Enishi's 'Leaning Tower of Pisa' was better than that," Yahiko muttered, "And he's drunk!"

            "Hey, don't be so mean to her," Neko said, "She's your teammate!"

            "Easy for you to say," Hiko shot back, "You're ahead by ten spaces!"

            "We can't help it if women are just better at this than you," Kaoru said saucily.

            "I still don't think Yumi's kanji should count," Shishio griped.

            "Oh, don't start that again, Shishio-sama," Yumi groaned, "You're being a sore loser, just like that time you impaled me and still got spanked by Battousai!"

            "Damn, that was cold!" Saitou snickered as Shishio's mouth gaped open in shock.

            "Is it too late for me to switch sides?" Kamatari wanted to know.

            "Yes, it is!" Amanda said with a huff.

            "You're not a girl, anyway!" Misao said.

            "Details, details," Kamatari grumbled.

            "Anyway, it's our turn," said Kanashimi.

            "Ooo, I got this one!" Shessha's Crazy exclaimed, selected a card and skipping up to the board.

            Ten seconds later, Okon correctly guessed 'atheism' and the girls' piece advanced another five spaces.

            "Maybe they're all in that 'time of the month' and can therefore communicate telepathically," Soujiro suggested a little too loudly, "So shouldn't they be given a handicap?"

            The room became deadly quiet and all the males scooted as far away from him as they could.  "What?  What did I say?" Soujiro asked frantically.  He noticed all of the women in the room regarding with baleful eyes that heretofore had only belonged to the Furies.  "Eeep!"

            "So, I guess sex education wasn't a priority of yours, Shishio," Saitou remarked as Soujiro ran about the party room for dear life, a cohort of pissed-off females hot on his cape.

            "Well, I was kind of preoccupied with instilling him with Social Darwinist values and warping his innocent mind to fit my evil plans of domination, you know," Shishio responded, "An arch-villain has priorities, especially in regards to his minions."

            "Isn't a minion something you use in soup?" Enishi slurred, "Why would you want to turn someone into a vegetable?"

            "Okay, no more cider for you de gozaru," Kenshin said, forcefully taking the mug from the inebriated psycho.

            "Women are scary," JML observed as Neko thrust a textbook entitled "Things Every Man Should Know About Women Before Opening His Mouth" into Soujiro's trembling hands.  The Tenken was then sent to a corner to educate himself.

~*~

            The awarding of the prize for best costume went to Sagara Souzu (which was no surprise).  Second place went jointly to Saijin-Zero and Kai-chan for their complicated and incredibly original creations, while third was given to Shessha's Crazy for the sole fact that Narrator and Kanashimi were intensely amused by flying monkeys.  The winners of the karaoke contest were Aoshi and Misao, whose stirring rendition of Aqua's Barbie Girl had everyone rolling in the aisles with laughter.  Shishio was given the choice of either being in the dunk tank or being the piñata; he opted for the dunk tank, and was finally plunged into the icy water by Yumi's deadly accurate throw.  The Narrator decided to cut short the game of Truth-or-Dare when Kanashimi dared her pookie to go streaking, and Saitou, having been liberally dosed with spiked punch (courtesy of Tesuka-chan), readily began to comply.

            The bells struck the midnight hour and the guests reluctantly took their leave of Narrator, who thanked them, one and all, for their support of her fanfic.

            "I don't suppose you'll be writing another one any time soon?" Cherry asked, her voice echoing in the dimly-lit deserted party hall.

            "Nah.  I think I kinda tapped out on all the insanity I could get from Rurouni Kenshin," Narrator said sadly, "Guess I just have to focus on angst and drama from now on; you know, serious stuff."

            Cherry made a face.

            "Well, before you even think about starting anything new," Kanashimi said sternly, "you've got to clean this mess up."  She fanned her face with a pair of white gloves as she surveyed the destruction, "Yare, yare, this going to take forever!"

            "Hey, where the heck did you get those?" Narrator asked, pointing at the gloves.

            "Oh, these?" Kanashimi asked innocently, "Did you really think I would make Pookie strip and not get some sort of souvenir out of it?"  She rolled her eyes at her onee-sama's lack of common sense.

            "Shoot, I shoulda thought about that when Sano was unconscious!" Cherry exclaimed, snapping her fingers.

            "Man, I don't even want to think about what Saitou's going to be like when he wakes up with a hang over and finds his gloves gone," Narrator said, shaking her head.

            "It should be pretty funny, actually; Setine stole his belt and lit took his pack of cigarettes."

            "Whoo boy…"

Hey, guys, Narrator here.  I just wanted to say thank you once again for all your support.  I know some of you asked to attend the party, and I'm sorry that I could not include all of you.  Midterms and papers are a sad fact of life, and boy, do they really get in the way of creative processes.  I don't know when I'll continue any of my other fics, but I promise to try and keep entertaining you.

If you want an idea of some of the RK character costumes, go to    The webmistress, Haku Baikou, has generously posted my fanart on her site.  Also, take the time to see the rest of www.hakubaikou.com; it is definitely one of the best RK sites in existence, and Haku Baikou-san puts her heart into it!

Have a happy Halloween, and remember, the Great Pumpkin is always watching!

Kanashimi: *sigh* I told her not to drink any cider!

Cherry: But *hic!* what if it's tr- *hic!* true?!  What if he is *hic!* watching?!

Kanashimi: (-_-) I'm surrounded by idiots.

Narrator: Oh, and that thing about "It's a Gundam!" is something I just happened to observe while watching Gundam Wing; every time one of those poor Oz soldiers uttered that phrase, they were toast ten seconds later.  *scratches her head* I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I think the phenomenon needs further exploration.

Kanashimi: It's just you, trust me.

Narrator: -_-

Cherry: Hey, do I *hic!* have to *hic! hic!* drink all this cider by myself, or are you two *hic!* goin' to help me?!

SALUTE!!