Chapter 1: Prologue

I died.

Yeah it was not a very fun experience. I grimace briefly at the recent events befall upon me before shaking my head in utter disappointment. The way I had been killed was not because of some truck running over me which seems to be the most standard cause of fatality. Instead of dying to the good ol' fashioned truck-kun, I died out of sickness. A sickness that completely caught me off guard while doing my customary work together with my colleagues.

I had a seizure.

The sickness came to the most unsuspecting way possible but I suppose it doesn't matter now is it? It is amazing how quickly my mood can change. Sure I can be quite the hot-blooded but shouldn't I be panicking like a crackbrain right now? Should I begin execrating the deity who is most likely the one to croak me out of existence? In normal cases I would but somehow it is unappropriated. I am not going to foam nor go ballistic over it. I guess this is just me accepting whatever life has planned for me even to a scenario such as this.

"Good to know you're the calm type." I stare at the smiling bartender who popped out a bottle of whiskey before pouring it on a glass cup. "Here have a drink." He pushed the glass cup infront of me in an etiquette manner. "There's no poison added mind you." He added.

"…Why would you add poison at it in the first place?" I asked with hesitation.

I am in a bar, a classy one at that. I may have stumbled across random bars back when I am still alive but this one tops it all. "And also, on the rocks please." I said returning the drink to the bartender which he takes it with gracile.

"You're awfully casual about this don't you think?" The bartender asked, taking another champagne glass hanging over the top portion just over his head. I laughed awkwardly at his remark.

"W-well considering the fact that I've read too many fanfictions regarding death and reincarnation, I'd say this isn't your first time seeing someone similar to my actions." I gauchely said while scratching the back of my head. The bartender merely chuckled at my feeble attempt at an answer.

He primly takes four ice cubes below the lounge. "I suppose that makes sense." He said amusingly as he poured the bottle of whiskey at the glass. "Here's your drink." He pushed the new drink across the lounge towards my direction. I casually caught it with insensible care and drank it in one go. Now I am not an authentic drinker but I do drink occasionally given the right circumstances. And given my situation, this is surely reasonable.

A short cough is all it requires to prevent myself from further expatiating my thoughts and it takes even a baby to figure out who. "Since you've finally composed yourself, let me introduce myself." The bartender began adjusting his tie before doing a forty five degree bow. "I am Bart, a mere warden who guides unfortunate souls such as yourself to find a new sole purpose in the next life you are given." He retracted the bow and stood straight with elegant mannerism.

My perverse awkwardness suddenly kicks in like a truck and I can only give a crooked smile. "Y-yeah, nice to meet you." I said while scratching my head involuntarily. Bart seemingly noticed my lack of dexterity only responds with a casual shrug.

"Try to be more open in your next life ok?" Bart remarked in a jokingly manner. I nod in slight assurance since I am an introvert at heart. It will take quite some time if I ought myself to be more sociable which verily depends on the world I will get myself into. Call me quirky but to me, socializing is like sinking to the bottom of a deep, deep ocean until eventually you could not handle it anymore and had to come up for air. Quite a fundamental quote but still a quote nonetheless.

"Can you stop rambling in your mind for a second and look here?" It seems my internal monologue is making me quite obnoxious. I can only give a stilted smile to the fine Bartender.

"Sorry." I replied with a simple remark since I refuse to say something else to further increase my awkward tendencies. Bart nodded at my curt apology before bending down the lounge. The Bartender seems to rummage below if the sounds of glass and other utensils furthermore indicates it. After some seconds passed Bart finally stands up and puts down what looks like to be a medium-sized picker wheel infront of me.

"I call this tool the [Wheel of Reincarnation]. This picker wheel will be the one to select a random world based on the listed choices provided. Simply just spin the wheel and see what fortunate world you will be apart in." Bart explained. I nod in response and decided to gaze at the options where I will be reincarnated into.

"Can I check the list first?" I asked the Bartender who merely shrugs..

"By all means." Bart casually picks a random bottle. "Just don't take it too long okay?" I simply nod in response as I began exploring the list of worlds I can allegedly choose to be reincarnated in. It seems that the picker wheel contains most of the franchises I already know, though the choices have a notable bias towards anime; which I do not mind since I am a keen anime lover myself.

"Berserk? No thank you." I do not like the idea of living in a clusterfuck world such as that. Might as well reincarnate as a tree rather than having anything to do with that twisted universe.

[Re:Zero] is really a tempting one since the way they portray the world itself is quite eye-catching. A Fantasy world filled with unanswered mysteries and interesting characterization is enough for me to probe on this one. But alas, I know fully well how tremendously horrifying that world is. However, Rem will still be forever best waifu.

[Ramna]. Fuck no.

[Akame ga Kill] is an interesting one. Finished the anime a couple of years back and the deaths still lingers me. While I desiderate the idea of having Imperial Arms and play as their ludicrous plot armor I am not very much ardent to the twisted concept of that world especially in the presence of such horrid monsters such as Prime Minister Honest and General Esdeath. However, Esdeath is a perfect waifu material and no one can change my mind.

[Hellsing]. I refuse myself to see actual blood-sucking Nazi vampires infront of my eyes so I will pass on this one. I reflectively force down a disconsolate laugh. It seems like most of the worlds listed upon this wheel are regulated on the Horror genre. I pray absolute protection for all the unfortunate souls who were consigned to attain such circumstances; that include myself.

With fake determination, I place my hand on the wheel and spin it. All I can do now is watch the wheel go round and round…then it begins to slow. I gingerly watch the wheel continuously slow down. Every resounding click the arrow probes on each pin is outright making me feel anxious; thrilled even. The arrow slows to Hellsi-

NOOOOOOOOOO-

The arrow flips past to the choice next to it. Dumbly confused, I densely squint my eyes to focus on the letters written next to the unanticipated choice. My eyes slowly widen in realization as the arrow finally stops to that same letter I squinted my eyes upon.

[One Punch Man]

I quickly jerked my head up to see the Bartender chuckling like the scenario is just a common occurrence. "You're a lucky one." He began. "Most souls; or rather the unfortunate ones would generally land on the Horror class. It seems that fate had other plans in store for your well-being." Bart casually said with that nonchalant tone of his making my mind go overdrive by several emotions intermixing simultaneously all in one go.

I am going to be sent on One Punch Man. The [One Punch Man]!?

"Now let me just stop your monologue for a moment." I look at Bart who seemingly appears aggravated over my packed dense of mentality. "Though I fully admit that sending you there might be a hazardous move; even for someone such as myself." He raised a finger. "However, do not fret. I shall take the responsibility and grant you any ability wherein you can very much survive in that dangerous world without much of a hassle." Bart assuredly impelled.

With all the remaining dignity I have I slowly exhaled my breath in a placid manner. I may be a man with an eccentric shy personality but no matter what the circumstances are I am still an adult. I lived a great deal among fellow grown-ups and seen them intimately close at hand. And yet despite that, it has not much improved my opinion of them. Although I felicitously nourished those past experiences to furthermore improve myself up until now; even if I am already deceased. Therefore, maturity doesn't always come with age, it is about the way you see and understand things.

"…Aren't you getting a bit cliché over this?" I inquisitively asked. "The execution of words to enact myself less agitated by granting me an ability is quite the hackneyed theme." I added.

Bart simply nods over my statement. "Indeed. Most are just too caught up in the moment to discern such things in the first place however, some intellectuals such as yourself would notice the bromide shtick." I was completely caught off guard when he called me an intellectual but I suppose it is likely because of my candid statement. "Anyways, ask away and I shall grant it to you."

Those mere words etched through my ears instantaneously like a charging truck making my brain dredge up memories over various types of abilities from each and every show I can reminisce. I look at Bart who smiled at my perplexed expression. Right, I'm going to be here for a while, aren't I?

"Can I have the [Gamer] ability?" I finally asked the ostensible Warden.

"No." He sternly replied. "Pick something else."

It seems my self-composure is threatening to rend itself. "Aw c'mon! I'm going to be sent to a world infested by god-like evil menaces. Surely with the [Gamer] ability I can survive the feats of this world if I use it appropriately." I reasoned feeling quite unwary of his sudden refusal. He literally said to me; 'Ask away and I shall grant it to you' like a supercilious Genie so why is he downright refusing my request?

"While I can grant you the [Gamer] ability, it's a bit overutilized. Most abounding travellers are invariably given the [Gamer] ability in order to play an extensive fraction of any random generated world as a game." Bart explained. "The manifold deities who carelessly give such ability are just incompetent fools who doesn't heed the outcome they're potentially creating." He gave out a tiredly sigh. "Can't you think of something else other than that? Something that focuses on a single aspect of power?"

"..A single aspect of power huh?" So the [Gamer] ability is out of the choice for questionable reasons. What a shame, my adolescent mind ceaselessly desired to possess such ability ever since I began reading fanfictions. Whatever the real reason for his rejection, I will not delve into it for the sake of my safety. There are numerous first-class abilities that focally points on that type of concept, surely I can easily pick something out without skirmishing myself.

Gilgamesh's [Gate of Babylon] from [Fate] is the first broken ability that directly hits through my mind. Childish I may be but imagine yourself hovering above the sky smiling smugly below your enemy with the [Gate of Babylon] present on your back, summoning countless kinds of weaponry on mid-air before blasting it to the ground like machine gun projectiles. Good Lord, what an amazing sight to behold.

Giorno's [Golden Experience Requiem] from [Jojo's Bizarre Adventure] is also a broken ability considering it can create and manipulate life. Not to mention [Golden Experience Requiem]'s ultimate ability is to revert actions and willpower back to the state of zero, completely nullifying it and preventing all kinds of situations from becoming real. A reality shifter ability which makes it absurdly overpowered.

[Boosted Gear] also known as the Red Dragon Emperor's Gauntlet from [Highschool DxD] is on my OP category list. While the show is ridiculously filled with fanservice it also had a somewhat stupidly overpowered competency considering the fact that there are numerous deities on that world who can easily obliterate humanity if they wish to.

But it seems that these and some other abilities I reserved in my mind does not really fit the theme for [One Punch Man]. Well, except for one atleast. "Can I have psychic powers?"

The Bartender snaps his fingers, seemingly intrigued by my request. "Now that's what I'm talking about! If you even want to I'll even boost it on calibre with Tatsumaki's." He added with a sly grin making my poor mind pause at his offer.

Is he serious? "A-are you serious?" I just said that. Bart nods confirmingly. "Yes I am serious." He raised a finger. "One reason why I am not fond over the [Gamer] ability is that it takes a great amount of time expounding all of its myriad of abilities. It would take too long to achieve that god-level strength. However, that is why other deities preferably reincarnate travelling souls as a newborn baby if they plan to insert the [Gamer] system through the host's body and I highly refuse on that method." Bart's expression went stern. "You will be sent to a world full of incredibly strong monsters, applying that method of reincarnation is already a doltish act for my part." His explanation reeled in my mind and I thoroughly understood what he is getting to.

He is worried about me.

"Aren't you spoiling me a bit much here?" I asked Bart who simply shrugs my question. "Does it matter? It's my decision not yours." Such generosity and solicitous kindness. I highly doubt myself encountering another man like him in my new life. "Since your ability is all planned out." Bart gallantly claps both his hands together in an aristocrat manner. "It's time for you to head out." A modest-sized bottle suddenly appears out of his hand making my whole body flinch at the supernatural scene on play.

Ignoring my wimpish display he began pouring the bottle on my glass "Drink this and you'll be on your way to your world destination." Staring at the glass, I queasily gulped whatever saliva remained inside my throat before firmly gripping the glass and drinking it in one swoop.

Slamming down the empty glass, I scraggly release a few pants due to the tension I am giving myself as I look at the Bartender who seems to be amused at my exaggerating display. "So…what...now?" I asked him between breaths.

"Well unfortunately, it takes a minute to activate the spell so let's just wait a little bit more." Bart explained. "Oh, I almost forgot." Bart snaps his fingers. "While you were busy monologuing earlier I took a short look over your bio and the document articulates that you draw in your spare time of work. Intrigued, I investigated further and found your artbook by chance and I must say, you deserve more meritorious praise."

...What?

"Now before you say something inappropriate let me finish. I already took out a specific character from your book that somehow fits the theme of the world as your avatar. Information and whereabouts are completely based on his."

WAIT WHAT!?

"Oh, and you're welcome."

Composure be damned. I did not expected this sudden development! "You should have said that earlier! While I do appreciate your 'new world, new look' idea, it's stupidly astonishing how you would forget something so consequential! Damn it atleast tell me who it is!" I frantically shouted.

"I guess that part was my fault." Bart said impassively. "Oh well, too late. Find that out yourself."

"Fuck I need to-" The feeling of vertigo precipitately struck all of the sudden. All the stress of my death stomped me with mountains of unforeseen horror and delayed realization that I am officially passing out by sheer exhaustion. Using the remaining ounce of my willpower, I forcibly ignore the tiredness faring on my eyes and cholerically glare at Bart who seems to be smirking expectantly.

"Good luck on your journey." Darkness finally impinge my whole vision before blacking out in ethereal darkness.

A/N:

This is an experimental self-insert fic. I don't know if I'm going to continue this or not but it's worth a shot. There's only 2.8k words used in this prologue so I'll try going to 4k on the following chapters. That's if, I'll continue making this since I don't really have much time working on fics.

Anyways, if you want to see where this story progresses, please follow and fav. Also, leave a review about your opinion about this if you think this has potential.

Well then, see ya in the next update!