Hi, POstables! It's Kaycee from Deliver Me a Podcast. After our podcast interview with Rachel Fordham, Kami, Jess & I were inspired to pursue our dreams of writing. Recently, we were challenged to write a scene from the end of Higher Ground:

What did one of Shane's letters say to Oliver? We never get to hear her read them. Write the scene of her reading at least one letter!

Here's my take on the fourth letter.

"The Fourth Letter"

Oliver couldn't take his eyes off Shane's trembling hand pulling the fourth letter out of its envelope. His heart beat faster and his palms grew sweaty remembering that this letter spoke of death. Oliver shifted uneasily on the stool by Shane's desk. She took a deep breath before beginning to read.

"Oliver, why did I agree to this mission?" The abruptness of the greeting took Oliver by surprise. He waited for Shane to continue, but instead, she lowered the letter and her eyes met his. She swallowed. "I'm sorry. This one is just really hard to read," she said.

"Would it help if I sat next to you?"

Shane nodded and Oliver sat on the credenza and took her hand. He gave it a squeeze encouraging her to continue.

"Steve mentioned that this crisis was mission-critical, but failed to mention the severity of this situation. I hesitate to even expound further, for fear you may indulge yourself in clams and red wine." She chuckled. Oliver's chest tightened and his jaw flexed, unsure whether to laugh or feel anger for the position Steve put her in. He'd known that Shane was going overseas, but he had no idea what kind of danger she'd faced.

"Oliver?"

He cleared his throat and attempted a small smile. "Carry on, Ms. McInerney. I don't believe I'll need any clams or wine tonight."

Shane bit her lip before continuing. "The day I wrote my last letter, a bomb went off near the post. I think the enemy knows that if they could reach us, they could completely destroy the mission. Each day, the attacks seem to get closer and I don't know if that's just my mind playing tricks on me or not. Either way, it's been very hard to sleep the last several nights."

"You were— your post was—" Oliver stood. His blood pressure rose at the news that a bomb had almost wiped out the post Steve Marek sent her to.

"Yes."

"He promised me that he would keep you safe," Oliver grumbled, his eyes narrowed. "Mr. Marek told me that night that he— He wouldn't let— I ought to— " He began to pace the floor as his mind raced with all of the things he should have and could have said and done. Yet he did nothing the night Shane left. "He is right in one sense—I don't— I don't always say what I mean or act as I ought to. And see where that landed us, hm? Mr. Marek—"

"Oliver! Forget Steve! There was nothing you could do to change what happened. I chose to be there. I made up my own mind."

The intensity in her voice made Oliver stop in his tracks. He turned around to face Shane. Her arms were crossed and blue eyes bore into his. Even upset, she looked beautiful.

"You may have chosen to go, Ms. McInerney, but Mr. Marek failed to disclose any pertinent information in order for you to make a sound decision." His voice grew louder remembering each time Steve Marek had whisked Shane away from him. "And that man knowingly had the audacity to put you in a perilous situation! You almost— I almost lost— I almost lost the one person in my life who means— who means—" His voice trailed.

Shane's face softened. "If this is too much, we don't have to finish tonight. It is almost nine o'clock."

Oliver took a deep breath and composed himself. He picked up the letter and handed it back to Shane. "Please, Ms. McInerney."

Shane sighed. "Being out here alone without you, Rita and Norman is absolutely terrifying- wherever out here is. Worst of all, I overheard that we would be here for at least another five weeks. The moment I heard that news, I wanted to throw up. Instead, I went to the restroom and cried for a good ten minutes. I have never felt so lonely."

Oliver resumed his pacing, busying his legs but unable to distract his mind or his heart. The grief and sadness she conveyed weighed on him heavily. She had suffered for three long months and he'd been unable to comfort her. Worse yet, during her extended absence, Oliver doubted that she had missed him.

"I miss Rita and her giggles. I miss Norman and all of his random cousin stories. I miss Joe and his encouraging comments. I even miss Ramon and the way he shows up out of nowhere."

Their eyes met and they both chuckled, easing the palpable tension.

"But most of all. I miss you, Oliver. I miss hearing your voice and the way you call me 'Ms. McInerney.' I miss walking into the Dead Letter Office and seeing you smile at me every day. I miss being close to you-" Shane's voice cracked. He handed her a glass of water anxious to hear more.

Shane cleared her throat. "I miss being close to you, smelling your cologne, and being held by you as we sway to the old Billy Joel song. My heart aches for you, Oliver. The emotional pain I'm feeling right now is a pain worse than any physical hurt I've ever endured."

Oliver couldn't look at Shane, yet he needed to be near her. He slowly sat down beside her. Shane continued, her voice quivering.

"I thought the bombs would make me afraid of dying. I've always feared death but since the night you were rescued from the mountain, something changed inside of me. I know now that there is something greater out there and more than just this life. I am still afraid though. I'm afraid I'll die and there will still be so much left unsaid between us."

"Shane-" His voice was hoarse. He felt her move closer to him and she took his hand. There was something comforting about her being so close.

"From the moment I wake up in the morning until I crawl back on my cot at night, I think of you. And each night, I pick one memory we've created together and replay it in my mind until I fall asleep. I think of our dancing. I think of our various postal adventures. I think of your singing. I think of your philosophical words of wisdom. Oh, Oliver, I want to go home to Denver, to my porch swing, to the Dead Letter Office, and most importantly, to you. How my heart aches to be with you. I know I've been gone for almost a month and I hope you haven't lost faith in me. Keep praying, Oliver; I know you already are, and someday soon, I'll be back."

Silence filled the Dead Letter Office. Oliver finally looked up and watched Shane wipe her tears away. She handed the letter to him. Oliver skimmed it silently and as he did, his eyes threatened to spill. He took a deep breath as an attempt to control his emotions. A tear fell on to the letter he held in his hands.

Shane stood. "Oliver," she said softly. Oliver took another deep breath as he set the letter down. The truth was, every night since the day Shane left, he held himself accountable for her leaving. And to know the truth and the gravity of the situation made it even harder.

"Shane." Oliver's voice was low. He stood to face her. "If I could re-do that night, I would have taken my time kissing you on those steps." He paused. "If I could do it over again, I would have gone after you. You are the very best at what you do. I know it and Steve knows it. But I should have followed you and told you that the DLO is not the same without you. The POstables need you."

He took a step closer to her. They were eye-to-eye now, inches apart.

"I am absolutely miserable when you're not here to brighten my day." He shook his head. "If something had happened to you, I would have never forgiven myself."

"Nothing happened."

He sighed, wishing for the perfect words. "Why. Why did I let you go?" His voice dropped to a whisper. The walls that Oliver had built so high began to crumble one brick at a time, and with Shane back in his life, he believed that someday it would be nothing but rubble.

Shane took a step forward as she wiped the tears that fell from his face. "I'm here now, Oliver. And I'm not going anywhere. Not without you." Her voice came quietly like a gentle breeze, soothing his soul. Her arms came around his waist and then instinctively, he embraced her in return. He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger on her smooth skin. As he held her close, he lifted his eyes to the heavens for a brief moment of thanks. God's in His Heaven, all's right with the world.