Chapter Nine: System Failure
(cut to the Nebizzle)
Crank (through door): Captain! Squiddes are coming, but Peo's still inside the Matrix!
Morphbus: Use the EMP!
Crank: It will kill Peo!
Morphbus: So? Just do it!
Crank: Okay…
(cut to Matrix)
(Kiss steps across the threshold off the house. He takes his glasses off his eyes and hangs them from his neck collar. His lips form the words "Damn, I'm sexy." Peo makes a disgusted face.)
Kiss: I'm going to enjoy watching you die, Mister Handerson.
Peo: Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to enjoy watching your mom die!
Kiss: Agents don't have parents, dumbass.
Peo: OH YEAH??? WELL, YOUR MOM DOESN'T HAVE PARENTS!!!
Kiss (slaps forehead): I was going to enjoy watching you die, now I'm going to relish it. Goodbye, Mister Handerson.
Peo (pointing): Look! An eagle!
Kiss (turning): Where?
(Peo takes off down the hallway. Kiss fires at him many times but misses. His gun seems to have limitless ammo. Peo rounds a corner and takes of down a hall. He hears a phone ringing inside a room and answers it.)
Crank: Hey, Peo, hurry up and get to a phone. Squiddes are coming and Morphbus is about to pull the EMP!
Peo: I am at a phone.
Crank: Oh. Hang up and I'll call with the exit thingy.
Peo: Okay.
(Kiss bursts in through the door and shoots Peo three times in the chest. Peo falls to the floor.)
(cut to the Nebizzle)
Crank: NO!
Morphbus: YES! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE ARCHITECHT!
Finite: He can't be dead…
Morphbus: Why the hell not?
Finite: The Oracle told me I would hate a man and he would be the One.
Morphbus: And do you hate him?
Finite (sarcastically): You think?
Morphbus: Damn!
Crank: Captain?
Morphbus: What?
Crank: The Sentinels…
Morphbus: Right. Get ready to pull the EMP…
(cut to the Matrix)
Kiss: Check him.
Not Important: He's gone.
(the Agents turn and begin to walk away. Peo opens his eyes and looks at them. He stands up.)
Peo: That was close!
Kiss: Shit!
(the Agents all begin firing. Peo holds up his hand and displays his big magnet. The magnet pulls in the bullets. He looks around and runs at Kiss, leaping at him and knocking him over.)
Peo: DIE BITCH!!!
Kiss: What the hell?
(Peo shoots him in the head. The other two Agents stand and watch.)
Not Important: Yes! Now I am important! Just one last thing… (shoots Slightly More Important but Still Not Important, then runs.)
(the phone rings and Peo answers.)
(cut to the Nebizzle)
(Morphbus breaks free of Crank's hold and pulls the EMP. He sees Peo get up.)
Morphbus: Damn…
(cut to a code screen)
(the screen shows the tracing phone call program again.)
Peo: I know you're out there. I'm going to show you something you don't like…
(the screen reads "System Failure." Soon, a naked Smith pops up on the screen. It quickly switches to a naked Peo.)
Peo: Bye…
(a hook from a crank comes down and lifts him off. He holds his hands out and makes a whooshing sound. His head bangs into a streetlight.)
Peo: Ow!
(he begins flying on his own. He soars into the sky and passes a plane. He begins to struggle and is suddenly sucked inside the plane's engine. The plane explodes.)
*************************************************************
I know, I know, a short final chapter. I didn't really leave myself enough material. Whatever.
So what did you think? Love it? hate it? Neither? Write and tell me. I was planning on parodies of Reloaded and Revolutions, but I'm not so sure if it's worth it.
But I'm glad, for I know I have touched some people, and their dreams will be forever filled with strip dancing Agents, naked Smith, Neo in a thong, and Morpheus singing will doing nails.
I will always love you...