Author's Note: I do not own digimon or the song "Innocent Eyes" by Delta
Goodram. Please don't sue me. This is a one shot, I think and series 2
hasn't happened, this is set after series 1, and all other series are
irrelevant. Enjoy!
Words written like this *.* are the lyrics to the song.
Protecting Alone
*Do you remember? When you were seven And the only thing that you wanted to do Was to show your mum that you could play the piano.*
Tai sighed as he remembered back to when he and his little sister were younger and their family was still together. Then he had been happy, and he missed those days of happiness readily.
*Ten years have passed And only one thing lasts And that's the song that we played alone That made my mama cry.*
Ten years hadn't passed since Tai was seven, but the eight years that had passed felt like eternity. After coming back from the digital world when he was eleven years old, it had only been a year before his parents had split up. Kari had been sent off to live with their father, whilst Tai was left to live with their mother. Just thinking about the good, happy days of the past made Tai want to cry.
*I miss those days I miss those ways When I got lost in fantasies In a cartoon land of mysteries In a place you won't grow old In a place you won't feel cold.*
Tai was now fifteen years old, and all he wanted to do was to go back to being ten again, where he would have no idea of all of the troubles that he would come across. Hikari, his sister whom he loved, was now eleven years old. She had taken the divorce better than her brother had, but she had a good reason to. Both of their parents loved Kari.
*And I'll say I seem lost in my reflection. Find the stars fall in my direction. For the little girl inside Who won't, just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes.*
Kari. he would do all that he could to protect her, he would do anything. Even keep this secret. He had managed to keep it a secret from everybody for three years; everybody still believed that he was still the same happy boy who had been their leader in the digital world. But he wasn't, he was different. He still wore the same cheeky grin, but to him it had no meaning. But he would keep grinning just to keep Kari safe, to make sure that she wouldn't have to find out.
*Do you remember? When you were fifteen The kids at school called you a fool 'Cause you took the chance to dream.*
Everybody believed his charade, even Sora, his best friend from when he was about three years old. Of course, Sora was too busy staring into Matt's eyes nowadays to even know that Tai existed, and that hurt. Tai had fallen in love with his childhood best friend before they had gone to the digital world, and to know that she loved his rival was painful, but he still remained in contact with them and stayed best friends with both Matt and Sora. That wasn't his main problem though, as much as that hurt him. Something else that was happening to him was much worse.
*And in the times that's passed Only one thing lasts And that's the same old song that we played alone And made my daddy cry.*
Tai wished that he could have been the one to live with their father, wished that he could go back in time and change it. For his mother only wanted to live with Kari. If anything went wrong, his mother would blame it on him and say, "If Kari was here then this wouldn't have happened! Why did I end up with you? You're not perfect like my dear little Hikari."
*I miss those days I miss those ways When I got lost in fantasies In a cartoon land of mysteries In a place you won't grow old In a place you won't feel cold.*
Hikari. How could Tai love her as much, as well as hate her? He loved her as any brother loved their younger sibling, but he hated her just as much. Why did she have to be so perfect? Didn't she know that she was making his life hell because of her perfection?
"I seem lost in my reflection Find a star fall in my direction For the little girl inside Who won't, just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes.*
But still. he couldn't let her know. He had to protect her, she needed her mother. He'd handled it for three years; couldn't he handle it for more until he moved out? But before he had had his friends to distract him, even though they didn't know that they were the ones keeping the smile on his face.
*I'm gonna feel things under the skin Under the thoughts of within Learning the subtext of the mind See creation, power divine
My innocent eyes.*
Why did his mother have to always attack him? She didn't use physical attacks most of the time, the kind of attacks that Tai could handle, but she took him down mentally. She knew exactly the right words to say to make him upset, and she used them every night. She hit him more than a few times each day too, and that hurt, but nothing hurt him more than the fact that his mother didn't love him because he wasn't Kari. And that one thing made him hate Kari and love her at the same time. And of course the physical pain didn't help the situation. Sometimes he wished that he could tell someone what was going on, but then that would mean that his mother would be taken away and Kari would never be able to see her again. That would make Kari sad, and that was the last thing that Tai wanted to do, even though he hated her.
*I miss those days I miss those ways When I got lost in fantasies In a cartoon land of mysteries In a place you won't grow old In a place you won't feel cold.*
"Why do we have to grow up? Why can't I keep living the best ten years of my life over and over again?" he asked himself quietly, staring out the window. He was at home and he knew that soon his mother would come home. Then it would start all over again. He prayed that his mother had had an excellent day and that she would have nothing to blame on him, but that only happened once every blue moon. He would even get blamed if there was a traffic jam on the way to work. He heard the door slam shut and Tai knew that his prayers weren't answered. It seemed that even God was against him.
"I seem lost in my reflection Find a star fall in my direction For the little girl inside Who won't, just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes Faith and innocent eyes Faith and Innocent eyes Faith and innocent eyes.*
An hour later Tai was lying on his bed, trying to ignore the pain in his chest. His mother had had a very bad day, and had taken it upon herself to make sure that Tai's was a living hell too. She had pushed him against the wall and punched him in the chest, insulting him in her low, calm voice, for about an hour until she felt that he was feeling worse than her. She hadn't even hurt her hands, as she had been wearing boxing gloves. The gloves didn't stop the punches from hurting though, and Tai felt like he had broken a few ribs.
*For the little girl inside Who won't, just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes.*
"I've got to keep this to myself for Kari. It's not her fault that she's perfect and mum likes her better. Kari almost worships mum, so I can't spoil her dreams. But I can't keep on acting happy all of the time, it's just too hard. Maybe I should just act quieter around people, then maybe it'll be easier to handle. I can't break Kari's trust. Even if it kills me, I won't hurt Kari. And he fell asleep, repeating that thought over an over in his mind, 'I won't hurt Kari.'
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sora walked quietly up to Matt and covered his eyes from behind.
"Guess who?" she asked with a smile, knowing that he would pretend that he didn't know. He had been talking with Tai, who had a small smile on his face instead of his usual grin. 'Hmm. maybe Tai's beginning to grow up. He doesn't have that goofy grin on his face, but he still seems happy enough. He is growing up.'
"I couldn't possibly guess. Could it be that new girl in my maths class? Or could it be Sora?" Matt turned around and greeted Sora with their usual morning kiss. Tai just coughed and smiled cheekily.
"I'll leave you two lovebirds here. I've got to go to the library. See you two later, that is, if you don't die of lack of oxygen!" and he left laughing, but that was the complete opposite of what he felt inside. He wanted to cry, but forced himself to act happy. After all, he was known as the guy who was always cheerful, and he couldn't lose his reputation.
After they had broken off their kiss they sat down on the bench that was next to where they were standing.
"Is it me or is Tai different today? He wasn't as cheerful as he usually is," Matt commented as he watched their friend walk away, "he seemed more. normal and un-Tai like."
"Yeah, I noticed that too. It's almost like he's finally beginning to grow up. All I can say is that it's about time!" Sora too was watching her childhood best friend walk away, "but didn't he say that he was going to the library? He just walked passed it!"
"Maybe he just wanted to leave us alone. He probably went looking for someone else to bother," Matt told her, taking her hand in his, "after all, we are basically immune to his teasing now."
"You're right. Anyway, isn't it a good thing that we have got a bit of privacy at the moment?" Sora asked, turning to him.
"Yep, I guess you're right," and they leant into each other a kissed again, forgetting all about Tai and just concentrating on each other.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tai didn't bother to go and find anybody else; he knew that it would just be the same. Joe and Mimi were going out, as were T.K and Kari. Even Izzy had a girlfriend, who was also a computer freak. Even if Tai went up and talked to any of the others, they would just be like Sora and Matt. And Tai knew that he wouldn't be noticed, so he just didn't bother trying to find his friends. He wandered around the school grounds, occasionally glimpsing his friends walking around, but he took special care to avoid Sora and Matt, the only two except Kari who would notice he was there. And he had told them he was going to the library. He walked around by himself until the bell rang, telling the students that they had better get their books quickly and go to their classes. Tai went to his locker and got out his maths books, dreading going to his class. Both Sora and Matt were in his class, and he had no choice but to watch their constant flirting in class. He had to sit behind them as the teacher had allocated seats, and so he could see everything they did. That's why he hated maths so much.
"Hey Tai! You ready for maths?" Sora asked happily. Maths was one of her favourite subjects because she got to sit with Matt. Tai just smiled his small smile, and nodded.
"You bet! It's my favourite class," he told her sarcastically. Matt just rolled his eyes and grabbed Sora's arm.
"Come on guys, we'd better not be late. You know how Mrs. Moron gets if anybody's late to class. It's like she turns into a dragon or something," Matt emphasized the class's nickname for their teacher. Her name was actually Mrs. Moran, but they called her Mrs. Moron.
"You guys go on ahead, I forgot my homework," Tai lied, needing an excuse to get away from them. His ribs were still hurting from the night before and he needed to stop to try to make them stop hurting. They had been hurting all morning, and it had taken an effort to get out of bed, never mind ignoring the flirting going on between the two of them.
"Tai, your homework is right there," Sora pointed to a piece of paper hanging out from underneath his folder. Tai cursed himself inwardly, but it didn't show on his face.
"So it is, so it is. Well, let's go then!" and they walked to maths, with Matt and Sora leading the conversation whilst Tai just stared ahead, not paying much attention to the conversation. He was trying too hard to ignore the pain in his chest to notice what they were talking about.
"Um. Tai? Earth to Tai! We asked you a question," Matt was a bit impatient with his best friend. It was the fifth time they had asked the question, and he still hadn't responded.
"Um. sorry, I wasn't really listening. What was it again?" Tai pulled himself away from that other planet he was on and listened to what they were saying.
"We asked if you were okay, you looked a little spaced out there for a moment," Sora told him, a little worried. He was acting a bit too serious, like something was wrong and she didn't like it.
"Well, it's my mother's birthday soon and I was wondering what I was going to get her. Sorry, my mind was wandering," Tai replied as they walked into their classroom. Tai was glad that he had been able to think that up quickly, and Sora felt the worry wash out of her.
'He was just thinking Sora, he's fine. It is his mother's birthday soon, and from what I remember Tai always found it hard to find something for her. Kari would always find something easily, but Tai would always take a while, and he would work hard to get her a good present.
"Why don't you ask Kari? She always has good ideas," she suggested. She missed the look of pain in Tai's eyes when she said that, but he seemed to smile even more at her.
"That's a good idea Sora. I'll ask Kari later," Tai couldn't believe that Sora had said that. It seemed that now even Sora was comparing him to Kari's perfection. He hated it. They walked to their seats and Tai sat next to Mimi, who was also in his maths class. She ignored him as usual, talking to one of her best friends. Sora was Mimi's best digidestined friend, but Mimi had an even closer friend called Alison, which was whom she was talking to now. Tai just opened his folder and sat staring into space until Mrs. Moron came into the room. Even then Tai couldn't pay attention. Every breath he took made his chest feel on fire and Sora and Matt were flirting in front of him. To make matters worse, Mrs. Moron decided that she was going to pick on him.
"Taichi Kamiya, come and right the answer to this question up on the board," Tai groaned in his mind and got up, trying to make it so he didn't hit his chest, but not succeeding. He took the marker out of Mrs. Moron's hand and looked at the question. On the board were the words
Factorise: x3-x2-16x+16 when x-1 is a factor
Tai had no idea what to do, and he was starting to see spots in front of his eyes from all the pain that was going through his chest. He looked up and saw another example and quickly saw how it was done. After all, he may not like maths, but he was good at it. He quickly went through the process on the board. He answered it quickly for once, and this surprised many, including the maths teacher and Tai's friends. He had always made it look like he struggled with maths, and now he had solved a problem quickly when he obviously hadn't been paying attention! The whole class was amazed.
"Yeah, that's the answer. You may go back to your seat now," Mrs. Moron told Tai, still amazed.
"Can I go and see the nurse? I have a bit of a headache," Tai asked, anxious to get out of the classroom. Mrs. Moron was even more surprised. He had done that with a headache too? She nodded.
"Yeah, here, I'll get you a slip," As soon as Tai was outside the room he leant back against the wall next to the door and sighed. The day was not going well for him that was for sure.
'It's too hard to even attempt to act happy today. My ribs hurt too much, but what can I do? I'll just act really quiet today and blame it on a headache. Maybe it'll be better tomorrow," he sighed and made his way to the nurse's office. He had to go after all, as he had to get the nurse to sign it. And maybe a panadol would help the pain. When he returned to class he went back to his seat and started to daydream again, still wishing that he was ten again and could relive all of the happy times instead of being stuck in the present. He was so deep into his thoughts that he forgot about the pain in his chest and he didn't hear the bell ring.
"Tai? The bell's gone, it is recess. Earth to Tai! Snap out of your thoughts and return back to Earth!" Matt was getting extremely impatient with his friend. Something just wasn't right with him, but trying to get anything out of Tai was like trying to pull a deeply rooted tooth out of your own mouth.
"Hmm? Oh, sorry, I guess I was a little zoned out there. I'm coming," Tai packed up all of his books and stood, ready to go. He almost gasped in pain as he stood up, but he didn't. Sora and Matt exchanged glances as they saw that Tai's ever present smile had disappeared.
"Tai, are you all right? You seem a little out of it today," Sora commented, hoping that there was a stupid reason for Tai's un-Tai like behavior. She didn't like seeing her childhood best friend acting so weirdly. She wanted to make sure that it was only something stupid.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I have a headache, that's all," he smiled at her, and she felt reassured. He was only acting weirdly because he had a headache. Nothing more. She relaxed again and she and Matt resumed their conversation that they had been having. Mimi and Alison trotted behind them, talking at a mile a minute. Tai stopped when they reached his locker, and the others didn't even stop their conversations. They just walked on, ignoring him. Their lockers were on the other side of the locker bay, so that was why they hadn't stopped. Tai almost threw his books into his locker and walked out to the oval, where there was a group of trees. Deciding that he wanted to be alone, he quickly climbed into the top branches of one of the trees there and sat hidden amongst the leaves. From where he was, he could see anyone that came near. This was where the digidestined usually met when they all had lunch or recess.
"And then dad and I went out for ice cream! It was the best night ever!" Tai heard the last part of Kari and T.K's conversation. It was Kari who had been speaking and Tai felt a big shot of jealousy run through him. She had had fun eating ice cream with their father whilst he was being beaten by their mother. How was that fair? It wasn't, but Tai knew that he had to live with it, or tell someone about his mother. He didn't want to have to do that, so he would have to live in pain and sadness whilst Kari lived happily without a care.
"Sounds cool! My mother took me out for ice cream too last night, and we went and saw a movie. It seems that last night was a good night for everybody," T.K. said happily, Kari's hand held tightly in his. Tai closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain in his chest whilst he tried not to cry. Doing both at the same time was hard, and he only succeeded in not crying. As the others arrived he knew that he wouldn't be able to stay in the tree for much longer. He doubted that they would worry about him, but as he had been acting weirdly, they might worry.
"Where's Tai?" he heard Matt and Sora ask as they arrived at the tree. Everyone else looked around.
"I don't know. I forgot that he wasn't here," Kari admitted, making Tai even angrier at her. She hadn't even realized that he was missing from the group and she had had a good night the night before. He sighed to himself, and realized that he was going to have to get down from the tree. He climbed down a few branches until he was in sight of the others.
"I'm here, no need to worry," he smiled his trademark smile, even though his chest was hurting even more, "See?" The others just muttered something and then turned to their boyfriends or girlfriends. It was annoying, but Tai just ignored everyone and sat daydreaming. It was then that he remembered what his mother was going to make him do. He distinctly remembered her telling him that he had to quit soccer.
~FLASHBACK~
In the middle of her little punching fit Tai's mother slowly smiled.
"I know what. You are going to quit soccer tomorrow. If you don't, I'll spread rumors around your school about you. And they will be believable rumors. I need you to stay home and make sure that dinner is cooked for me when I get home. It's not like you enjoy soccer anyway, you just want to be lazy." Tai had had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Soccer was one of the few things that made Tai's life livable. Now he was going to have to give it up.
~END OF FLASHBACK~
Tai looked at his watch. He still had 10 minutes left of recess, enough time for him to tell the coach the bad news. He climbed down from the tree and left the group, who didn't even notice that he was leaving. He had to tell the coach the bad news when he was alone, so the others didn't notice that he had quit soccer. He told his coach, who looked disappointed.
"But Tai, the tournament is coming up and we need you to play. You're the best on the team!" the coach protested. Tai just looked at the ground.
"I'm sorry coach, but I have to quit. I don't like soccer anymore, and I have to work. I'm sorry," Tai didn't look up while he said that, but the coach believed him, although not very much.
"Well, I suppose that the only reason to play is if you enjoy it. Enjoy your job Tai, and good luck."
"Thanks coach. Good luck at the tournament!" Tai turned and walked away, his heart down in his stomach. His mother was taking away everything that he enjoyed in life, until all he had left were his friends. And they obviously didn't care. The bell rang and Tai sighed. Another two hours of classes, with his friends ignoring him everywhere.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Somehow, he didn't know how, but Tai made it through the day without too much trouble, although he was pretty much ignored the whole time. As he walked to the school gates, he passed Sora.
"Hey Tai, ready for soccer?" when she saw that he was still in his school uniform she frowned, "Come on, we're going to be late if you don't hurry." Tai just sighed and turned to face her.
"I-I've quit the team. I'm not playing anymore," he said quickly, staring at the ground at his feet. Sora had expected any answer but the one she got.
"What? Why? You love soccer! Why would you quit? We need you for the tournament!" Sora was angry at him, but she was angrier at herself. Why hadn't she seen that Tai was not enjoying soccer? What was wrong with him?
"I don't like soccer anymore. And you're a better player than I am Sora, so I'm sure the team will win. Anyway, I've got to go. See you tomorrow," Tai turned around and quickly left, leaving Sora just staring after him. Matt came up behind Sora and gave her a hug.
"What's wrong Sora? You look pretty shocked," Matt commented, seeing that Sora was still staring after Tai, who had disappeared.
"I never thought I'd see the day that Tai would quit soccer," Sora told him, still in shock.
"Tai quit soccer? That's almost like saying that the sky is purple!" Matt exclaimed, "What's wrong with him? It's almost like he is a different person today!"
"I don't know! His reason for quitting was that he didn't like it anymore, which is about as easy to believe as to believe that I hate soccer! And he left just before a tournament. Tai would usually play in the tournament before he quit, just so he wouldn't let the team down. I don't know what's come over him," Sora was now definitely worried about her friend. Tai would never act like that usually, and that worried Sora.
"I'll get Kari to talk to him. You'd better go to soccer," Sora nodded reluctantly and Matt went off to find his little brother and his girlfriend. He finally spotted them at the gate, about to part.
"Hey, T.K, Kari, wait up!" the eleven year olds stopped and turned to look at Matt.
"Hey Matt, what's up?" Kari asked him, looking at him curiously. Matt had run up to them, so he stopped for a second to get his breath back before he straightened.
"Can you go talk to Tai Kari? He's quit soccer and we're really worried about him. He's been acting a bit weird lately," Matt went straight to the point. He didn't like seeing one of his best friends acting strangely, and he had a feeling that it was serious. Kari's eyes went wide at Matt's words.
"Tai, my brother Tai, quit soccer? Has the world ended or something?" Kari was worried about her brother. Tai would never ever quit soccer, not unless he was forced to, "Why'd he quit?"
"Sora told me that Tai said that he didn't like it anymore. We don't believe that story of course," Matt saw the worry in Kari's eyes and knew that she would try her best to help Tai with whatever was going on, "Anyway, I have to go to my band practice. Good luck!" And with that Matt was off as he was running late.
"Sorry T.K, but I got to go see what's wrong with my brother. I'll call you later, k?" Kari gave T.K a quick kiss on the cheek.
"All right, I'll talk to you later. Good luck with Tai!" T.K. called as Kari hurried away. He hoped that she could figure out what was wrong with their former leader, they needed him too much.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tai walked home quickly, knowing what he had to do. All of the pressure was getting too much for him. First his ribs, then all of the pressure of being ignored, and now he had had to quit soccer. He just wanted all of it to end. He put his bag down and took a knife from the kitchen, before he disappeared into his room and lay on his bed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When Kari arrived at her mother's apartment, she knocked on the door.
"Tai, are you there? It's me, Kari," there was no answer. One of Tai's neighbors was just going out and he stopped.
"I saw Tai go in there about 20 minutes ago. He didn't exactly look very well. I don't really know why, but he's been pretty upset lately. I mean, he's been upset ever since he and your mother moved here. Anyway, see you later Kari," he told her as he walked past, and Kari nodded.
'If Tai got home 20 minutes ago, then why isn't he answering?' Kari wondered as she hunted through her school bag for the keys to the apartment, 'normally he'd be jumping to let me in.' She remembered when they were younger and Tai would come home after soccer practice. He would barely have knocked on the door before she would have opened it for him, and he had always done the same for her. She knew that something wasn't right and she rushed to find her keys. She finally opened the door and walked into the apartment.
"Tai? It's me, Kari. Where are you?" she now knew that something was wrong, knew that Tai was hurt or something bad like that had happened. There was still no answer and Kari went around the apartment, strategically opening doors. She had no idea of how to get around as she didn't get to spend much time there. She opened the door to what looked to be Tai's bedroom. Tai was lying on his bed, but something was wrong. He was extremely pale and she could see a knife covered in blood on the floor.
"Tai, it's me, Kari. Are you okay?" she got no answer and she felt sick as she realized what was wrong with him. He had slit his wrists. She backed away in horror, her mind in shock. She reached for the cordless phone that was on the table beside Tai's bed and called for an ambulance, her mind still numb. She followed the instructions that the ambulance people gave her and stood numbly once she had completed it all. The ambulance people came and put him on a stretcher.
"Are you related to him?" a kind ambulance officer asked, seeing that Kari was in shock.
"I-I'm his sister," she was still in shock and she had to struggle to answer. Why would he try to kill himself? He always seemed to be happy, so what made him want to pull a stunt like this? Why? That was the only question that was going around in Kari's head, and she started to cry silently as she tried to work the answer out.
"You can come with him to the hospital. You can phone you parents when you get there. Come on," the officer lead her to the ambulance and she sat next to Tai, holding his hand and crying silently.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When they arrived at the hospital Tai was taken to a room whilst Kari called her parents. Tai was still unconscious when they arrived at the hospital, and Kari was in tears. She wasn't allowed to see him as the hospital staff was worried about his condition. So she sat alone in the waiting room as her parents talked with the doctors, who were trying to find out why Tai would do a thing like that. She decided to take a walk outside, and she left. It was raining, which suited her mood perfectly. She walked through the park, not caring how wet she got. She had turned her mobile on once she left; just to make sure her parents could contact her if Tai woke. She sat down on one of the soaking wet swings and started to slowly swing herself. She could never get very high, not unless she had Tai pushing her. She was lost in memories when her mobile rang. She was startled out of her daze and reached for her phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi Kari, it's Sora. I was wondering if you'd spoken to Tai," Sora was a bit startled as Kari began to cry over the other end of the phone, "What's wrong Kari?"
"I went over to Tai's to talk to him and when I got there, nobody answered. I used my key to get inside and-and T-Tai, h-he had sl-slit h-his wrists," Kari sobbed out, making Sora sit up straight. Matt, who was with her, just stared at her worriedly.
"What? Please say that you're joking," Sora's heart was beating hard in her chest as she realized that Kari was not joking, "But why?"
"I-I don't know! He never said anything and he always seemed to be happy and. he was still unconscious when I last saw him. He had been like that for about 20 minutes before I found him." Kari trailed off as she began to cry again, and Sora felt like she was going to cry too.
"Look, where are you? Matt and I'll be there as soon as possible," Matt was looking confused as he didn't know what was going on, but he got up and got their coats and mobiles. Sora nodded, concentrating on what ari was saying.
"I'm in the park next to Odaiba Hospital. I couldn't see him and I was going crazy in there," Kari tried to control her tears, but couldn't, "I'll see you guys then."
"Yeah, see you in a few minutes," and Sora hung up, and quickly turned to Matt.
"We have to get to the park next to Odaiba Hospital. Tai tried to kill himself," Sora explained as she grabbed her coat off Matt. He just stared at her.
"Why?" was the only word that left his lips, the only question that Sora couldn't answer.
"I don't know," she replied as it started to sink in and she started to cry silently, "but we've got to find out why."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When Tai regained consciousness he found that he was in hospital and his mother was sitting in the chair next to his bed.
'Darn it! I can't even escape by death. Why do I have to be tormented like this?' Tai thought to himself as his mother noticed that he was awake.
"Tai, you're awake! I'm so glad! Thank God you are still alive!" she exclaimed; not noticing the hatred that flashed across his face. Tai didn't answer; he just stared straight ahead with an expressionless face.
"Tai, you okay?" his father's voice asked him, but again Tai didn't answer. He just stared straight ahead. So that was why his mother had sounded so nice and sincere, because there was a witness.
'Trust dad to care when I'm in hospital. I mean, it took a drastic action like this to get attention. Not that I want attention, I just wanted to be rid of all of my troubles. Now it looks like I'll be getting more,' he thought to himself, never moving his gaze off the wall ahead of him.
"Tai, are you okay?" his father repeated the question, but Tai again refused to answer. His father only sighed, "Fine then, have it your way and don't speak to anyone. We only want to help you Tai." His father seemed to be stressed, probably because of Tai.
"Yes Tai, we're only here to help. We can't exactly help you until you tell us what's wrong though honey," Tai wanted to throw up. His mother was using her sugary voice, so it would seem like she cared. He didn't move, but he wished that he could tell her to stop pretending that she cared so much, but he couldn't hurt Kari. She was basically the only person who almost cared for him, but she would be better off if he was dead.
"Kari was so shocked when she found you lying on your bed. Apparently Matt had told her that he and Sora were worried about you, something about you quitting soccer, so she went to see if you were okay. First you quit soccer, and now this? The doctor also said that you had three broken ribs. What's going on?" Tai was shocked to hear that Kari had found him, and he felt a little guilty, but he still would not say anything. Kari was happy at the moment and he had to make sure that she stayed that way.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When Sora and Matt reached the park where Kari was still sitting on the swing, it was only 10 minutes after the call. Sora went straight to Kari and gave her a hug, to try and get Kari to cheer up a bit. She herself was struggling to not cry, after stopping her tears from falling on the way.
"Hey Kari, you okay?" Sora asked, sitting on the swing next to her. Kari just nodded, unable to speak. Sora was about to say something when Kari's mobile went off again.
"Hello?" Kari said, "Really? I'll be right there." Kari hung up the phone and wiped her eyes with her hands, "Tai just regained consciousness. I'm allowed to go see him. I don't know if you guys will be allowed to though."
"That's okay Kari. We'll come with you and make sure that you're okay," Matt told the distraught girl, "after all, we don't want any other bad things to happen today." Kari bowed her head in thanks and the trio set off for the hospital, to go and see Tai.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Kari walked into the room where Tai was being kept and saw her parents on either side of his bed. Tai himself was just staring up at the top of the wall that was straight ahead of him, he didn't even seem to know that she had entered.
"Kari," her father said, "maybe you can get him to tell you something, he hasn't spoken a word to either of us. We'll leave the two of you alone." And after that little speech both of her parents went to wait outside, her mother seeming to be a bit tense.
"Hey Tai," Kari walked over and sat in the chair nest to his bed, "how are you feeling?" Tai didn't answer and his face didn't change at all, "Okay, so maybe you aren't feeling too good. Tai, why'd you do that? I look up to you, you are the best brother a girl could ever have and you and T.K are the most important people in my life. I care about you even more than our parents because you were always there for me. If anything happened to you I don't know what I'd do, and here you are trying to kill yourself! Why didn't you tell me?" With that Kari broke down again and started to cry. Tai was torn over what to do. Should he tell her what had been happening to him? Would she understand?
"Please don't cry Kari. You know that I hate it when you do," Tai's voice was quiet and Kari almost couldn't hear him over her own sobs, "It wasn't your fault."
"But it is my fault! I haven't been paying attention to you because I've been so caught up in my own life! If I would've stopped and taken the time to watch you to see if you were okay, then you wouldn't be here!" Kari managed to stop crying for her brother, but she was still going to argue, "Now, tell me why you did what you did, and why you quit soccer. I'm sure that that has something to do with it." Tai sighed.
"I quit soccer because." Tai closed his eyes, as if remembering a painful memory, "Because mum made me." Whatever answers Kari had been expecting that was not one of them.
"What? What do you mean?" Kari squealed loudly, causing Tai to glance outside the room to where their parents were sitting.
"Not so loud please Kari. Ever since our parents split up and I was sent to live with mum she's been. she. she's been abusing me. I have three broken ribs at the minute, she did that last night. She threatens me by telling me that she'd spread rumors about me around the school. But that's not why I didn't tell on her. I didn't want to hurt you. You look up to mum and. well, I don't know. I guess I was just stupid," Tai didn't look at his sister who was staring at him in shock.
"What do you mean? What are we going to do?..."
End of Chapter 1
Well, that was supposed to be a one-shot, but it didn't work. I'll update soon, but it's 11pm here and I'm not really supposed to stay up much later. Anyway, please review and I'll update A.S.A.P!! Cya!
Words written like this *.* are the lyrics to the song.
Protecting Alone
*Do you remember? When you were seven And the only thing that you wanted to do Was to show your mum that you could play the piano.*
Tai sighed as he remembered back to when he and his little sister were younger and their family was still together. Then he had been happy, and he missed those days of happiness readily.
*Ten years have passed And only one thing lasts And that's the song that we played alone That made my mama cry.*
Ten years hadn't passed since Tai was seven, but the eight years that had passed felt like eternity. After coming back from the digital world when he was eleven years old, it had only been a year before his parents had split up. Kari had been sent off to live with their father, whilst Tai was left to live with their mother. Just thinking about the good, happy days of the past made Tai want to cry.
*I miss those days I miss those ways When I got lost in fantasies In a cartoon land of mysteries In a place you won't grow old In a place you won't feel cold.*
Tai was now fifteen years old, and all he wanted to do was to go back to being ten again, where he would have no idea of all of the troubles that he would come across. Hikari, his sister whom he loved, was now eleven years old. She had taken the divorce better than her brother had, but she had a good reason to. Both of their parents loved Kari.
*And I'll say I seem lost in my reflection. Find the stars fall in my direction. For the little girl inside Who won't, just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes.*
Kari. he would do all that he could to protect her, he would do anything. Even keep this secret. He had managed to keep it a secret from everybody for three years; everybody still believed that he was still the same happy boy who had been their leader in the digital world. But he wasn't, he was different. He still wore the same cheeky grin, but to him it had no meaning. But he would keep grinning just to keep Kari safe, to make sure that she wouldn't have to find out.
*Do you remember? When you were fifteen The kids at school called you a fool 'Cause you took the chance to dream.*
Everybody believed his charade, even Sora, his best friend from when he was about three years old. Of course, Sora was too busy staring into Matt's eyes nowadays to even know that Tai existed, and that hurt. Tai had fallen in love with his childhood best friend before they had gone to the digital world, and to know that she loved his rival was painful, but he still remained in contact with them and stayed best friends with both Matt and Sora. That wasn't his main problem though, as much as that hurt him. Something else that was happening to him was much worse.
*And in the times that's passed Only one thing lasts And that's the same old song that we played alone And made my daddy cry.*
Tai wished that he could have been the one to live with their father, wished that he could go back in time and change it. For his mother only wanted to live with Kari. If anything went wrong, his mother would blame it on him and say, "If Kari was here then this wouldn't have happened! Why did I end up with you? You're not perfect like my dear little Hikari."
*I miss those days I miss those ways When I got lost in fantasies In a cartoon land of mysteries In a place you won't grow old In a place you won't feel cold.*
Hikari. How could Tai love her as much, as well as hate her? He loved her as any brother loved their younger sibling, but he hated her just as much. Why did she have to be so perfect? Didn't she know that she was making his life hell because of her perfection?
"I seem lost in my reflection Find a star fall in my direction For the little girl inside Who won't, just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes.*
But still. he couldn't let her know. He had to protect her, she needed her mother. He'd handled it for three years; couldn't he handle it for more until he moved out? But before he had had his friends to distract him, even though they didn't know that they were the ones keeping the smile on his face.
*I'm gonna feel things under the skin Under the thoughts of within Learning the subtext of the mind See creation, power divine
My innocent eyes.*
Why did his mother have to always attack him? She didn't use physical attacks most of the time, the kind of attacks that Tai could handle, but she took him down mentally. She knew exactly the right words to say to make him upset, and she used them every night. She hit him more than a few times each day too, and that hurt, but nothing hurt him more than the fact that his mother didn't love him because he wasn't Kari. And that one thing made him hate Kari and love her at the same time. And of course the physical pain didn't help the situation. Sometimes he wished that he could tell someone what was going on, but then that would mean that his mother would be taken away and Kari would never be able to see her again. That would make Kari sad, and that was the last thing that Tai wanted to do, even though he hated her.
*I miss those days I miss those ways When I got lost in fantasies In a cartoon land of mysteries In a place you won't grow old In a place you won't feel cold.*
"Why do we have to grow up? Why can't I keep living the best ten years of my life over and over again?" he asked himself quietly, staring out the window. He was at home and he knew that soon his mother would come home. Then it would start all over again. He prayed that his mother had had an excellent day and that she would have nothing to blame on him, but that only happened once every blue moon. He would even get blamed if there was a traffic jam on the way to work. He heard the door slam shut and Tai knew that his prayers weren't answered. It seemed that even God was against him.
"I seem lost in my reflection Find a star fall in my direction For the little girl inside Who won't, just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes Faith and innocent eyes Faith and Innocent eyes Faith and innocent eyes.*
An hour later Tai was lying on his bed, trying to ignore the pain in his chest. His mother had had a very bad day, and had taken it upon herself to make sure that Tai's was a living hell too. She had pushed him against the wall and punched him in the chest, insulting him in her low, calm voice, for about an hour until she felt that he was feeling worse than her. She hadn't even hurt her hands, as she had been wearing boxing gloves. The gloves didn't stop the punches from hurting though, and Tai felt like he had broken a few ribs.
*For the little girl inside Who won't, just hide Don't let me see mistakes and lies Let me keep my faith and innocent eyes.*
"I've got to keep this to myself for Kari. It's not her fault that she's perfect and mum likes her better. Kari almost worships mum, so I can't spoil her dreams. But I can't keep on acting happy all of the time, it's just too hard. Maybe I should just act quieter around people, then maybe it'll be easier to handle. I can't break Kari's trust. Even if it kills me, I won't hurt Kari. And he fell asleep, repeating that thought over an over in his mind, 'I won't hurt Kari.'
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Sora walked quietly up to Matt and covered his eyes from behind.
"Guess who?" she asked with a smile, knowing that he would pretend that he didn't know. He had been talking with Tai, who had a small smile on his face instead of his usual grin. 'Hmm. maybe Tai's beginning to grow up. He doesn't have that goofy grin on his face, but he still seems happy enough. He is growing up.'
"I couldn't possibly guess. Could it be that new girl in my maths class? Or could it be Sora?" Matt turned around and greeted Sora with their usual morning kiss. Tai just coughed and smiled cheekily.
"I'll leave you two lovebirds here. I've got to go to the library. See you two later, that is, if you don't die of lack of oxygen!" and he left laughing, but that was the complete opposite of what he felt inside. He wanted to cry, but forced himself to act happy. After all, he was known as the guy who was always cheerful, and he couldn't lose his reputation.
After they had broken off their kiss they sat down on the bench that was next to where they were standing.
"Is it me or is Tai different today? He wasn't as cheerful as he usually is," Matt commented as he watched their friend walk away, "he seemed more. normal and un-Tai like."
"Yeah, I noticed that too. It's almost like he's finally beginning to grow up. All I can say is that it's about time!" Sora too was watching her childhood best friend walk away, "but didn't he say that he was going to the library? He just walked passed it!"
"Maybe he just wanted to leave us alone. He probably went looking for someone else to bother," Matt told her, taking her hand in his, "after all, we are basically immune to his teasing now."
"You're right. Anyway, isn't it a good thing that we have got a bit of privacy at the moment?" Sora asked, turning to him.
"Yep, I guess you're right," and they leant into each other a kissed again, forgetting all about Tai and just concentrating on each other.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tai didn't bother to go and find anybody else; he knew that it would just be the same. Joe and Mimi were going out, as were T.K and Kari. Even Izzy had a girlfriend, who was also a computer freak. Even if Tai went up and talked to any of the others, they would just be like Sora and Matt. And Tai knew that he wouldn't be noticed, so he just didn't bother trying to find his friends. He wandered around the school grounds, occasionally glimpsing his friends walking around, but he took special care to avoid Sora and Matt, the only two except Kari who would notice he was there. And he had told them he was going to the library. He walked around by himself until the bell rang, telling the students that they had better get their books quickly and go to their classes. Tai went to his locker and got out his maths books, dreading going to his class. Both Sora and Matt were in his class, and he had no choice but to watch their constant flirting in class. He had to sit behind them as the teacher had allocated seats, and so he could see everything they did. That's why he hated maths so much.
"Hey Tai! You ready for maths?" Sora asked happily. Maths was one of her favourite subjects because she got to sit with Matt. Tai just smiled his small smile, and nodded.
"You bet! It's my favourite class," he told her sarcastically. Matt just rolled his eyes and grabbed Sora's arm.
"Come on guys, we'd better not be late. You know how Mrs. Moron gets if anybody's late to class. It's like she turns into a dragon or something," Matt emphasized the class's nickname for their teacher. Her name was actually Mrs. Moran, but they called her Mrs. Moron.
"You guys go on ahead, I forgot my homework," Tai lied, needing an excuse to get away from them. His ribs were still hurting from the night before and he needed to stop to try to make them stop hurting. They had been hurting all morning, and it had taken an effort to get out of bed, never mind ignoring the flirting going on between the two of them.
"Tai, your homework is right there," Sora pointed to a piece of paper hanging out from underneath his folder. Tai cursed himself inwardly, but it didn't show on his face.
"So it is, so it is. Well, let's go then!" and they walked to maths, with Matt and Sora leading the conversation whilst Tai just stared ahead, not paying much attention to the conversation. He was trying too hard to ignore the pain in his chest to notice what they were talking about.
"Um. Tai? Earth to Tai! We asked you a question," Matt was a bit impatient with his best friend. It was the fifth time they had asked the question, and he still hadn't responded.
"Um. sorry, I wasn't really listening. What was it again?" Tai pulled himself away from that other planet he was on and listened to what they were saying.
"We asked if you were okay, you looked a little spaced out there for a moment," Sora told him, a little worried. He was acting a bit too serious, like something was wrong and she didn't like it.
"Well, it's my mother's birthday soon and I was wondering what I was going to get her. Sorry, my mind was wandering," Tai replied as they walked into their classroom. Tai was glad that he had been able to think that up quickly, and Sora felt the worry wash out of her.
'He was just thinking Sora, he's fine. It is his mother's birthday soon, and from what I remember Tai always found it hard to find something for her. Kari would always find something easily, but Tai would always take a while, and he would work hard to get her a good present.
"Why don't you ask Kari? She always has good ideas," she suggested. She missed the look of pain in Tai's eyes when she said that, but he seemed to smile even more at her.
"That's a good idea Sora. I'll ask Kari later," Tai couldn't believe that Sora had said that. It seemed that now even Sora was comparing him to Kari's perfection. He hated it. They walked to their seats and Tai sat next to Mimi, who was also in his maths class. She ignored him as usual, talking to one of her best friends. Sora was Mimi's best digidestined friend, but Mimi had an even closer friend called Alison, which was whom she was talking to now. Tai just opened his folder and sat staring into space until Mrs. Moron came into the room. Even then Tai couldn't pay attention. Every breath he took made his chest feel on fire and Sora and Matt were flirting in front of him. To make matters worse, Mrs. Moron decided that she was going to pick on him.
"Taichi Kamiya, come and right the answer to this question up on the board," Tai groaned in his mind and got up, trying to make it so he didn't hit his chest, but not succeeding. He took the marker out of Mrs. Moron's hand and looked at the question. On the board were the words
Factorise: x3-x2-16x+16 when x-1 is a factor
Tai had no idea what to do, and he was starting to see spots in front of his eyes from all the pain that was going through his chest. He looked up and saw another example and quickly saw how it was done. After all, he may not like maths, but he was good at it. He quickly went through the process on the board. He answered it quickly for once, and this surprised many, including the maths teacher and Tai's friends. He had always made it look like he struggled with maths, and now he had solved a problem quickly when he obviously hadn't been paying attention! The whole class was amazed.
"Yeah, that's the answer. You may go back to your seat now," Mrs. Moron told Tai, still amazed.
"Can I go and see the nurse? I have a bit of a headache," Tai asked, anxious to get out of the classroom. Mrs. Moron was even more surprised. He had done that with a headache too? She nodded.
"Yeah, here, I'll get you a slip," As soon as Tai was outside the room he leant back against the wall next to the door and sighed. The day was not going well for him that was for sure.
'It's too hard to even attempt to act happy today. My ribs hurt too much, but what can I do? I'll just act really quiet today and blame it on a headache. Maybe it'll be better tomorrow," he sighed and made his way to the nurse's office. He had to go after all, as he had to get the nurse to sign it. And maybe a panadol would help the pain. When he returned to class he went back to his seat and started to daydream again, still wishing that he was ten again and could relive all of the happy times instead of being stuck in the present. He was so deep into his thoughts that he forgot about the pain in his chest and he didn't hear the bell ring.
"Tai? The bell's gone, it is recess. Earth to Tai! Snap out of your thoughts and return back to Earth!" Matt was getting extremely impatient with his friend. Something just wasn't right with him, but trying to get anything out of Tai was like trying to pull a deeply rooted tooth out of your own mouth.
"Hmm? Oh, sorry, I guess I was a little zoned out there. I'm coming," Tai packed up all of his books and stood, ready to go. He almost gasped in pain as he stood up, but he didn't. Sora and Matt exchanged glances as they saw that Tai's ever present smile had disappeared.
"Tai, are you all right? You seem a little out of it today," Sora commented, hoping that there was a stupid reason for Tai's un-Tai like behavior. She didn't like seeing her childhood best friend acting so weirdly. She wanted to make sure that it was only something stupid.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I have a headache, that's all," he smiled at her, and she felt reassured. He was only acting weirdly because he had a headache. Nothing more. She relaxed again and she and Matt resumed their conversation that they had been having. Mimi and Alison trotted behind them, talking at a mile a minute. Tai stopped when they reached his locker, and the others didn't even stop their conversations. They just walked on, ignoring him. Their lockers were on the other side of the locker bay, so that was why they hadn't stopped. Tai almost threw his books into his locker and walked out to the oval, where there was a group of trees. Deciding that he wanted to be alone, he quickly climbed into the top branches of one of the trees there and sat hidden amongst the leaves. From where he was, he could see anyone that came near. This was where the digidestined usually met when they all had lunch or recess.
"And then dad and I went out for ice cream! It was the best night ever!" Tai heard the last part of Kari and T.K's conversation. It was Kari who had been speaking and Tai felt a big shot of jealousy run through him. She had had fun eating ice cream with their father whilst he was being beaten by their mother. How was that fair? It wasn't, but Tai knew that he had to live with it, or tell someone about his mother. He didn't want to have to do that, so he would have to live in pain and sadness whilst Kari lived happily without a care.
"Sounds cool! My mother took me out for ice cream too last night, and we went and saw a movie. It seems that last night was a good night for everybody," T.K. said happily, Kari's hand held tightly in his. Tai closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain in his chest whilst he tried not to cry. Doing both at the same time was hard, and he only succeeded in not crying. As the others arrived he knew that he wouldn't be able to stay in the tree for much longer. He doubted that they would worry about him, but as he had been acting weirdly, they might worry.
"Where's Tai?" he heard Matt and Sora ask as they arrived at the tree. Everyone else looked around.
"I don't know. I forgot that he wasn't here," Kari admitted, making Tai even angrier at her. She hadn't even realized that he was missing from the group and she had had a good night the night before. He sighed to himself, and realized that he was going to have to get down from the tree. He climbed down a few branches until he was in sight of the others.
"I'm here, no need to worry," he smiled his trademark smile, even though his chest was hurting even more, "See?" The others just muttered something and then turned to their boyfriends or girlfriends. It was annoying, but Tai just ignored everyone and sat daydreaming. It was then that he remembered what his mother was going to make him do. He distinctly remembered her telling him that he had to quit soccer.
~FLASHBACK~
In the middle of her little punching fit Tai's mother slowly smiled.
"I know what. You are going to quit soccer tomorrow. If you don't, I'll spread rumors around your school about you. And they will be believable rumors. I need you to stay home and make sure that dinner is cooked for me when I get home. It's not like you enjoy soccer anyway, you just want to be lazy." Tai had had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Soccer was one of the few things that made Tai's life livable. Now he was going to have to give it up.
~END OF FLASHBACK~
Tai looked at his watch. He still had 10 minutes left of recess, enough time for him to tell the coach the bad news. He climbed down from the tree and left the group, who didn't even notice that he was leaving. He had to tell the coach the bad news when he was alone, so the others didn't notice that he had quit soccer. He told his coach, who looked disappointed.
"But Tai, the tournament is coming up and we need you to play. You're the best on the team!" the coach protested. Tai just looked at the ground.
"I'm sorry coach, but I have to quit. I don't like soccer anymore, and I have to work. I'm sorry," Tai didn't look up while he said that, but the coach believed him, although not very much.
"Well, I suppose that the only reason to play is if you enjoy it. Enjoy your job Tai, and good luck."
"Thanks coach. Good luck at the tournament!" Tai turned and walked away, his heart down in his stomach. His mother was taking away everything that he enjoyed in life, until all he had left were his friends. And they obviously didn't care. The bell rang and Tai sighed. Another two hours of classes, with his friends ignoring him everywhere.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Somehow, he didn't know how, but Tai made it through the day without too much trouble, although he was pretty much ignored the whole time. As he walked to the school gates, he passed Sora.
"Hey Tai, ready for soccer?" when she saw that he was still in his school uniform she frowned, "Come on, we're going to be late if you don't hurry." Tai just sighed and turned to face her.
"I-I've quit the team. I'm not playing anymore," he said quickly, staring at the ground at his feet. Sora had expected any answer but the one she got.
"What? Why? You love soccer! Why would you quit? We need you for the tournament!" Sora was angry at him, but she was angrier at herself. Why hadn't she seen that Tai was not enjoying soccer? What was wrong with him?
"I don't like soccer anymore. And you're a better player than I am Sora, so I'm sure the team will win. Anyway, I've got to go. See you tomorrow," Tai turned around and quickly left, leaving Sora just staring after him. Matt came up behind Sora and gave her a hug.
"What's wrong Sora? You look pretty shocked," Matt commented, seeing that Sora was still staring after Tai, who had disappeared.
"I never thought I'd see the day that Tai would quit soccer," Sora told him, still in shock.
"Tai quit soccer? That's almost like saying that the sky is purple!" Matt exclaimed, "What's wrong with him? It's almost like he is a different person today!"
"I don't know! His reason for quitting was that he didn't like it anymore, which is about as easy to believe as to believe that I hate soccer! And he left just before a tournament. Tai would usually play in the tournament before he quit, just so he wouldn't let the team down. I don't know what's come over him," Sora was now definitely worried about her friend. Tai would never act like that usually, and that worried Sora.
"I'll get Kari to talk to him. You'd better go to soccer," Sora nodded reluctantly and Matt went off to find his little brother and his girlfriend. He finally spotted them at the gate, about to part.
"Hey, T.K, Kari, wait up!" the eleven year olds stopped and turned to look at Matt.
"Hey Matt, what's up?" Kari asked him, looking at him curiously. Matt had run up to them, so he stopped for a second to get his breath back before he straightened.
"Can you go talk to Tai Kari? He's quit soccer and we're really worried about him. He's been acting a bit weird lately," Matt went straight to the point. He didn't like seeing one of his best friends acting strangely, and he had a feeling that it was serious. Kari's eyes went wide at Matt's words.
"Tai, my brother Tai, quit soccer? Has the world ended or something?" Kari was worried about her brother. Tai would never ever quit soccer, not unless he was forced to, "Why'd he quit?"
"Sora told me that Tai said that he didn't like it anymore. We don't believe that story of course," Matt saw the worry in Kari's eyes and knew that she would try her best to help Tai with whatever was going on, "Anyway, I have to go to my band practice. Good luck!" And with that Matt was off as he was running late.
"Sorry T.K, but I got to go see what's wrong with my brother. I'll call you later, k?" Kari gave T.K a quick kiss on the cheek.
"All right, I'll talk to you later. Good luck with Tai!" T.K. called as Kari hurried away. He hoped that she could figure out what was wrong with their former leader, they needed him too much.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Tai walked home quickly, knowing what he had to do. All of the pressure was getting too much for him. First his ribs, then all of the pressure of being ignored, and now he had had to quit soccer. He just wanted all of it to end. He put his bag down and took a knife from the kitchen, before he disappeared into his room and lay on his bed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When Kari arrived at her mother's apartment, she knocked on the door.
"Tai, are you there? It's me, Kari," there was no answer. One of Tai's neighbors was just going out and he stopped.
"I saw Tai go in there about 20 minutes ago. He didn't exactly look very well. I don't really know why, but he's been pretty upset lately. I mean, he's been upset ever since he and your mother moved here. Anyway, see you later Kari," he told her as he walked past, and Kari nodded.
'If Tai got home 20 minutes ago, then why isn't he answering?' Kari wondered as she hunted through her school bag for the keys to the apartment, 'normally he'd be jumping to let me in.' She remembered when they were younger and Tai would come home after soccer practice. He would barely have knocked on the door before she would have opened it for him, and he had always done the same for her. She knew that something wasn't right and she rushed to find her keys. She finally opened the door and walked into the apartment.
"Tai? It's me, Kari. Where are you?" she now knew that something was wrong, knew that Tai was hurt or something bad like that had happened. There was still no answer and Kari went around the apartment, strategically opening doors. She had no idea of how to get around as she didn't get to spend much time there. She opened the door to what looked to be Tai's bedroom. Tai was lying on his bed, but something was wrong. He was extremely pale and she could see a knife covered in blood on the floor.
"Tai, it's me, Kari. Are you okay?" she got no answer and she felt sick as she realized what was wrong with him. He had slit his wrists. She backed away in horror, her mind in shock. She reached for the cordless phone that was on the table beside Tai's bed and called for an ambulance, her mind still numb. She followed the instructions that the ambulance people gave her and stood numbly once she had completed it all. The ambulance people came and put him on a stretcher.
"Are you related to him?" a kind ambulance officer asked, seeing that Kari was in shock.
"I-I'm his sister," she was still in shock and she had to struggle to answer. Why would he try to kill himself? He always seemed to be happy, so what made him want to pull a stunt like this? Why? That was the only question that was going around in Kari's head, and she started to cry silently as she tried to work the answer out.
"You can come with him to the hospital. You can phone you parents when you get there. Come on," the officer lead her to the ambulance and she sat next to Tai, holding his hand and crying silently.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When they arrived at the hospital Tai was taken to a room whilst Kari called her parents. Tai was still unconscious when they arrived at the hospital, and Kari was in tears. She wasn't allowed to see him as the hospital staff was worried about his condition. So she sat alone in the waiting room as her parents talked with the doctors, who were trying to find out why Tai would do a thing like that. She decided to take a walk outside, and she left. It was raining, which suited her mood perfectly. She walked through the park, not caring how wet she got. She had turned her mobile on once she left; just to make sure her parents could contact her if Tai woke. She sat down on one of the soaking wet swings and started to slowly swing herself. She could never get very high, not unless she had Tai pushing her. She was lost in memories when her mobile rang. She was startled out of her daze and reached for her phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi Kari, it's Sora. I was wondering if you'd spoken to Tai," Sora was a bit startled as Kari began to cry over the other end of the phone, "What's wrong Kari?"
"I went over to Tai's to talk to him and when I got there, nobody answered. I used my key to get inside and-and T-Tai, h-he had sl-slit h-his wrists," Kari sobbed out, making Sora sit up straight. Matt, who was with her, just stared at her worriedly.
"What? Please say that you're joking," Sora's heart was beating hard in her chest as she realized that Kari was not joking, "But why?"
"I-I don't know! He never said anything and he always seemed to be happy and. he was still unconscious when I last saw him. He had been like that for about 20 minutes before I found him." Kari trailed off as she began to cry again, and Sora felt like she was going to cry too.
"Look, where are you? Matt and I'll be there as soon as possible," Matt was looking confused as he didn't know what was going on, but he got up and got their coats and mobiles. Sora nodded, concentrating on what ari was saying.
"I'm in the park next to Odaiba Hospital. I couldn't see him and I was going crazy in there," Kari tried to control her tears, but couldn't, "I'll see you guys then."
"Yeah, see you in a few minutes," and Sora hung up, and quickly turned to Matt.
"We have to get to the park next to Odaiba Hospital. Tai tried to kill himself," Sora explained as she grabbed her coat off Matt. He just stared at her.
"Why?" was the only word that left his lips, the only question that Sora couldn't answer.
"I don't know," she replied as it started to sink in and she started to cry silently, "but we've got to find out why."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When Tai regained consciousness he found that he was in hospital and his mother was sitting in the chair next to his bed.
'Darn it! I can't even escape by death. Why do I have to be tormented like this?' Tai thought to himself as his mother noticed that he was awake.
"Tai, you're awake! I'm so glad! Thank God you are still alive!" she exclaimed; not noticing the hatred that flashed across his face. Tai didn't answer; he just stared straight ahead with an expressionless face.
"Tai, you okay?" his father's voice asked him, but again Tai didn't answer. He just stared straight ahead. So that was why his mother had sounded so nice and sincere, because there was a witness.
'Trust dad to care when I'm in hospital. I mean, it took a drastic action like this to get attention. Not that I want attention, I just wanted to be rid of all of my troubles. Now it looks like I'll be getting more,' he thought to himself, never moving his gaze off the wall ahead of him.
"Tai, are you okay?" his father repeated the question, but Tai again refused to answer. His father only sighed, "Fine then, have it your way and don't speak to anyone. We only want to help you Tai." His father seemed to be stressed, probably because of Tai.
"Yes Tai, we're only here to help. We can't exactly help you until you tell us what's wrong though honey," Tai wanted to throw up. His mother was using her sugary voice, so it would seem like she cared. He didn't move, but he wished that he could tell her to stop pretending that she cared so much, but he couldn't hurt Kari. She was basically the only person who almost cared for him, but she would be better off if he was dead.
"Kari was so shocked when she found you lying on your bed. Apparently Matt had told her that he and Sora were worried about you, something about you quitting soccer, so she went to see if you were okay. First you quit soccer, and now this? The doctor also said that you had three broken ribs. What's going on?" Tai was shocked to hear that Kari had found him, and he felt a little guilty, but he still would not say anything. Kari was happy at the moment and he had to make sure that she stayed that way.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
When Sora and Matt reached the park where Kari was still sitting on the swing, it was only 10 minutes after the call. Sora went straight to Kari and gave her a hug, to try and get Kari to cheer up a bit. She herself was struggling to not cry, after stopping her tears from falling on the way.
"Hey Kari, you okay?" Sora asked, sitting on the swing next to her. Kari just nodded, unable to speak. Sora was about to say something when Kari's mobile went off again.
"Hello?" Kari said, "Really? I'll be right there." Kari hung up the phone and wiped her eyes with her hands, "Tai just regained consciousness. I'm allowed to go see him. I don't know if you guys will be allowed to though."
"That's okay Kari. We'll come with you and make sure that you're okay," Matt told the distraught girl, "after all, we don't want any other bad things to happen today." Kari bowed her head in thanks and the trio set off for the hospital, to go and see Tai.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Kari walked into the room where Tai was being kept and saw her parents on either side of his bed. Tai himself was just staring up at the top of the wall that was straight ahead of him, he didn't even seem to know that she had entered.
"Kari," her father said, "maybe you can get him to tell you something, he hasn't spoken a word to either of us. We'll leave the two of you alone." And after that little speech both of her parents went to wait outside, her mother seeming to be a bit tense.
"Hey Tai," Kari walked over and sat in the chair nest to his bed, "how are you feeling?" Tai didn't answer and his face didn't change at all, "Okay, so maybe you aren't feeling too good. Tai, why'd you do that? I look up to you, you are the best brother a girl could ever have and you and T.K are the most important people in my life. I care about you even more than our parents because you were always there for me. If anything happened to you I don't know what I'd do, and here you are trying to kill yourself! Why didn't you tell me?" With that Kari broke down again and started to cry. Tai was torn over what to do. Should he tell her what had been happening to him? Would she understand?
"Please don't cry Kari. You know that I hate it when you do," Tai's voice was quiet and Kari almost couldn't hear him over her own sobs, "It wasn't your fault."
"But it is my fault! I haven't been paying attention to you because I've been so caught up in my own life! If I would've stopped and taken the time to watch you to see if you were okay, then you wouldn't be here!" Kari managed to stop crying for her brother, but she was still going to argue, "Now, tell me why you did what you did, and why you quit soccer. I'm sure that that has something to do with it." Tai sighed.
"I quit soccer because." Tai closed his eyes, as if remembering a painful memory, "Because mum made me." Whatever answers Kari had been expecting that was not one of them.
"What? What do you mean?" Kari squealed loudly, causing Tai to glance outside the room to where their parents were sitting.
"Not so loud please Kari. Ever since our parents split up and I was sent to live with mum she's been. she. she's been abusing me. I have three broken ribs at the minute, she did that last night. She threatens me by telling me that she'd spread rumors about me around the school. But that's not why I didn't tell on her. I didn't want to hurt you. You look up to mum and. well, I don't know. I guess I was just stupid," Tai didn't look at his sister who was staring at him in shock.
"What do you mean? What are we going to do?..."
End of Chapter 1
Well, that was supposed to be a one-shot, but it didn't work. I'll update soon, but it's 11pm here and I'm not really supposed to stay up much later. Anyway, please review and I'll update A.S.A.P!! Cya!